"Sage…Sage, can you hear me?...Say something, please!"

I sat at his bedside, where I haven't moved from in three days. After Sage farted on Kenny's balls and defeated him, an enormous burst of light had spread across South Park. Everyone who had been turned into a Nazi Zombie returned to normal and everything was as it should be. Except for one thing: Sage wouldn't wake up.

After using his angel form to defeat the government demon, and then to help me defeat Death, I can imagine that he must be exhausted, but he's been asleep for three days, and I'm getting worried. Stan, Kyle, and Eric said they'd wait until Sage woke up to get rid of the Stick of Truth.

I sniffled quietly, a tear threatening to escape my eye. Sage is my life. He is the first person to ever accept me for who I am, and I love him with all my heart. If I lose him, I'll have nothing. Of course, I've always had nothing, but now I have the memory of having something, which will make it hurt even more. Because of this, I haven't left his side, even when my parents threatened to ground me (luckily, Sage's mom came to my rescue). During the day, I sat at his bedside constantly, getting up only to use the bathroom or change my clothes. I ate in his room, and slept next to him at night (granted, I didn't sleep much, too worried to get more than a few hours). I didn't care what anyone said or thought, I wanted to be near my boyfriend so that, when he finally woke up, I would be there to greet him.

I looked outside. It was only noon (school hadn't resumed yet; they were still cleaning the green goo out of the basement), but I was feeling tired (due to the aforementioned lack of sleep), so I crawled into bed next to my unconscious boyfriend and snuggled up to him, determined to keep him warm. I draped my arm over his stomach and leaned over him, placing a gentle, loving kiss on his forehead. As I lay my hand over Sage's, I settled my head in the crook of his neck, drifting into an uneasy half-sleep as I listened to the sound of my beloved's steady breathing.

A few hours later (I'm really not sure), I woke up to movement on my hand. I looked down at it as I felt Sage's fingers intertwine with mine and his head turn slightly towards me. I lifted my head and my sky blue eyes met the pools of obsidian I'd been longing to see for three days.

"Butters…" Sage muttered, his voice rough from disuse, "…Good morning."

"Sage…" I replied, smiling tearfully as relief flooded my being, "It's afternoon."

"Hm." Sage hummed thoughtfully, turning his head to look outside, "So it is."

I lay my head back in the crook of my boyfriend's neck, tightening my hold on him as tears of joy ran down my face.

"How are you feeling?" I asked my companion, humming faintly when he turned to face me, embracing me in return, holding me as close as I was holding him.

"Tired." he muttered into my ear, gently running his fingers through my hair, "Dealing with the higher-ups can do a number on your soul."

"The higher-ups?" I asked, turning more towards him but not lifting my head.

Sage hummed, as if in confirmation, then was silent for a minute before speaking again.

"Yes. The High Council. A group of high-ranking spirits that represent different parts of the universe. I broke several rules from several different realms, so I had to testify before them in my defense."

I looked up at him in shock, imagining what kind of trouble must have befallen my beloved angel.

"They were not pleased with me, especially the representative of this realm, since I had broken one of its most sacred rules."

"The Gentlemen's Code?" I asked, to which Sage nodded. I looked down, biting my lip before asking the dreaded question that had been plaguing my mind, "What's your punishment?"

Sage pulled away just enough to look me in the eye, his look and tone grave. "Originally, the highest level of punishment: a complete destruction of my soul."

I looked at my beloved with terrified eyes, my heart stopping and my breath catching in my throat. I-Impossible! I can't lose Sage! Please don't take Sage away from me! My eyes filled with tears as I latched onto him, burying my face in his chest as I held onto him for dear life.

"They can't do that!" I cried, not letting go of my boyfriend, my precious angel, the one I truly love with every fiber of my being, "They can't take you away! I love you!"

Sage tightened his arms around me, gently nuzzling my neck as he whispered next to my ear, "I love you too, Butters. Don't worry; they aren't going to destroy me."

I looked up at my boyfriend, tears still flowing freely from my eyes, still holding him as close as I could. "B-But you s-said…"

"Originally, my punishment would be the complete destruction of my soul. However, since the damage this world suffered would have been far worse had I not broken those rules, my sentence was reduced. And honestly…" he said, holding me close and pressing his lips softly to mine before letting me hide my relieved tears in his neck again, "I may not mind the new sentence that much, if everything goes according to plan."

"According to plan?" I asked, raising my head to look him in the eye, "What do you mean, Sage?"

He returned my gaze, his looks serious. "My sentence is for me to remain here, as I have been, with one major difference."

I felt a fresh flood of relief when Sage said he would be staying here, but that was overwhelmed by concern at what the "major difference" might be.

"I am to have a partner. Someone to watch me, and to balance my power of unity." My breath caught in my throat as my boyfriend smiled at me. "And the decision of who is to be my partner…is mine."

I stared at the Dragonborn, unable to believe what I was hearing. "Wait, are you saying I think you're saying?" I muttered breathlessly.

Sage rested his forehead against mine, looking directly into my eyes as he asked, "Butters, I would like you to be my partner. Do you accept?"

I stared at him again, this time in speechless awe. He kept staring at me as well, a hint of nervousness appearing in his eyes. Before that doubt could spread any further, I latched my arms around his neck and pulled him to me, capturing his lips with mine.

"I'll take that as a yes?" he said when we parted, the biggest smile I'd ever seen on his face.

"I'll always be by your side, Dragonborn." I replied sincerely, matching his grin with one of my own.

"I would love nothing more, Master of Chaos." Sage answered, smirking at my shocked expression when I registered the title he'd given me, "I'll explain later. Right now, we have company."

Sure enough, right after he said that, the door opened, revealing the Style duo. I tried to get up to avoid further teasing (Eric and some other guys have been giving me hell for my devotion to Sage), but my boyfriend, not seeming to care who knew, threw his arm over my side and rested his head on my shoulder, providing him an easier view of his guests. I turned bright red.

"Hey, Douchebag. Glad to see you're finally awake." Kyle greeted, smiling pleasantly. I had expected him to make a sly comment at our current position, but he remained silent on the matter. I turned to Stan, definitely expecting something rude from him (damn narcissist). However, he shocked me, too.

"See, Butters. We told you he'd be fine." the Ranger said to me, sounding more reassuring than arrogant. He then said to Sage, "You look comfy."

My face became even hotter, but my boyfriend, ever the calmer of the two of us, nodded, nuzzling my neck and turning me still-redder. I then froze as I heard a powerful voice echo in my head, a voice that sounded eerily similar to the booming voice we'd heard during Sage's fight with the government demon.

Tell him, "So do you."

My eyes widened as I realized the voice was Sage's, but I followed his orders.

"He says 'So do you.'" I replied to Stan, only just now noticing what Sage meant: Stan and Kyle were holding hands. Sure enough, the pair looked at each other, then at their hands, and blushed, shifting uncomfortably. Kyle let go of Stan's hand in embarrassment, making Stan give him a hurt look. The taller boy then smirked and, reaching an arm around Kyle's shoulders, pulled the ginger elf close, pressing the protesting boy to his side. The Elf King tried to struggle, his face as red as his hair, but he quickly gave up, leaning against his boyfriend. Stan looked up at us, grinning triumphantly.

"Now I'm comfy." he corrected, laughing as Kyle shot emerald daggers at him. I could tell, however, that the blades were dull, and relented when faced with the wall of sapphire that met them. I chuckled softly, feeling, for the first time in a while, at ease.

"By the way," Kyle said, finally calming down, "Are you strong enough to walk, Douchebag?"

I felt Sage nod against my neck, and then I heard him give me another message telepathically. I laughed to myself. I never thought I'd hear someone be called "Douchebag" in such an affectionate way.

"He said he should be, but he isn't sure."

"Well, you might want to try. Wizard Fatass is anxious to get rid of the Stick, but we refuse to do it without you." Kyle told us (or, rather, told Sage; he still wasn't too fond of me, for some reason. Maybe because I used to work for Eric a lot.).

Sage nodded, mentally asking me to come with them in case he needed help. He had a bit of trouble standing up, but with my help and the Style duo's encouragement, we managed to get him out the door. We were met with insults like "slowpokes" and "fags" from the fat little bastard who was waiting for us.

"It's about fucking time you woke up!" Eric whined at Sage, who continued to stare at him with a blank poker face, "Seeing your faggy little boyfriend dote on you day and night was making me sick to my stomach." He then made a gagging noise while Kyle had to be restrained by Stan. I was about to protest when I heard Sage's voice in my mind.

Jelly, much? He thought to me, making me laugh.

"Just what the fuck are you laughing at, fag?" Eric growled at me. He was definitely more short-tempered than usual.

"Sage says you need to stop being so jelly." I smirked at him, causing Stan and Kyle to burst out laughing as well. Eric turned red, glaring daggers at the four of us, before turning around and heading toward Stark's Pond.

"Just come on, fags. Are we gonna get rid of the Stick or not?' he snarled, agitated.

I don't ride a Harley. Sage thought to me, making me laugh again, followed by Stan and Kyle when I told them what Sage had said to me.

"Is it just me…" Stan muttered after a minute, "…or is Cartman being more of an asshole than usual?"

"To be honest, I never thought that was possible, but you're right." Kyle replied, a thoughtful look on his face.

It's because Kenny hasn't returned yet. I heard Sage think, his tone oddly knowing.

"Kenny?" I asked him, making Stan and Kyle look at me curiously while Eric tensed (though he tried to hide it), "Kenny died when you farted on his balls."

Does Kenny ever STAY dead? Sage asked me, and I relayed the question to our companions (except Eric, who started ignoring us the moment Kenny was mentioned), along with the last part of his previous statement.

"Hm…" All three of us thought about this, and my eyes widened as the realization hit me. Stan and Kyle followed suit.

"Come to think of it, he doesn't!" Kyle exclaimed, looking between us in shock, "I remember Kenny dying many times, but he always comes back within a few days, so I never worried about it."

"Except that one time he had that muscle disease and stayed dead for, like, a month." Stan muttered, hints of guilt in his voice. Kyle grabbed his hand, gently kissing his cheek and whispering something in his ear.

It's not your fault. Sage thought to me. I gave him a curious look. Kyle told Stan that it wasn't his fault he was too upset to be there for Kenny when he was dying. Stan is more sensitive than he likes to let on. I "oh"ed silently and continued walking, slipping my fingers in between Sage's.

"We're here, fags." Eric said, sounding defeated.

"You guys sure about this?" Kyle asked as he, Stan, and Sage walked up to stand beside Eric. I stayed back. I wasn't a part of this.

"There's no other way." Eric replied, looking at the Stick with sadness and longing.

"It drove our friend to madness and nearly killed us all." Stan said solemnly, patting Kyle's shoulder.

The guys took one last look at the Stick before Eric handed it to Sage, who then threw it into the pond. The other three sighed, and even I felt a little sad at seeing the item we all worked so hard to attain sink into the pond.

They all stood in respectful silence. Then Eric, an impatient as ever, looked around at the group and asked, "So what do you guys wanna play now?"

"How about Dinosaur Hunters?" Stan suggested excitedly.

"Or Pharaohs and Mummies!" Kyle added happily.

"Let's ask Douchebag!" Eric said, and everyone turned to Sage, "What do you wanna play now, dude?"

"That's the first time they've ever called him dude." I thought to myself, also wondering what he would say next, or if he'd say anything at all. Sage looked around the group and pointed back in the direction we came from."

"Screw you guys. I'm going home." he said, walking away. I laughed and followed him.

"Wow, what a dick." Eric said indignantly. Stan and Kyle just shook their heads, walking back toward Stan's house, hand-in-hand.

"Well fine! Screw you guys, too!" Eric yelled after us, "I'll just play with myself, then! I like playing with myself!"

I intertwined my fingers with Sage's once again as we walked back to his house. "I wonder what happened to Kenny." I thought out loud.

"He'll be back." Sage replied, "His body is taking a while to reform. He's also being reprimanded by the High Council, just like I was."

"Will he be okay?" I asked, suddenly concerned.

"He'll be fine. He's good at getting out of trouble." Sage reassured me, squeezing my hand for good measure. I smiled and leaned against my boyfriend, sighing contentedly. After a few minutes of comfortable silence, I spoke again.

"Whatever game they decide to play next, they will drag you into it, whether you like it or not." I warned him. He just shrugged.

"Let 'em. As long as I have you beside me, I don't care."

I smiled, pecking his cheek lightly, which got me a small smile. I then remembered something.

"Oh, yeah, guess what!" I said excitedly.

"We're getting married and eloping to Paris?" Sage asked, his voice a monotone. I blushed.

"Oh, hamburgers! I can't get married yet! My parents would ground me for sure!"

"It was a joke. What is it?" Sage said, looking at me out of the corner of his eye.

"Craig and Tweek are officially a couple!" I yelled, unable to contain my excitement. Luckily, we weren't in a crowded area, so no one heard.

"Hooray. Triple dates." Sage replied apathetically, but I could hear the joy hidden in his voice.

"Hey, that's a great idea!" I latched onto Sage's words about "triple dates", "We can all go to Bennigans!"

Sage rolled his eyes at my enthusiasm, pulling me to his side as Stan had done with Kyle earlier. I giggled happily, wrapping an arm around his waist and resting my head on his shoulder. We stopped walking and looked up at the sky. I'd had no idea it had gotten so late; stars were already starting to appear. I closed my eyes, breathing deeply of the crisp mountain air, just glad to be alive.

Thank God we live in this quiet, little, pissant, redneck, podunk, jerkwater, greenhorn, one-horse, mud-hole, peckerwood, right-wing, whistle-stop, hobnail, truck-drivin', old-fashioned, hayseed, inbred, unkempt, out-of-date, out-of-touch, white-trash, kick-ass mountain town.