His Greatest Wish, by AndromedaMarine
A/N: Merlin's pants! There's a lot of substance to this chapter. This one might be one of the most important because it is a major turning point for our two favorite characters. (More major than 26? What?) ireadallthetime11, Schwann, congratulations, your guesses were the closest. But nobody guessed the specific character. (You guys still get brownie points.)
Not Strong Enough
Seven more Muggleborn families, as well as three Ministry officials, were slaughtered before the end of the term came. Students left Hogwarts in terror; some had even beseeched Dumbledore to let them remain over the summer holidays. Severus was anxious to return to Nurren, to make sure his mother and Lily's family were all safe and under protection. The Auror department had provided the Evans home with elementary wards that would alert the Ministry if any Apparition occurred within the boundaries of the house. The idea was that if any Death Eaters came, they wouldn't necessarily come knocking on the front door. Sev wasn't too pleased with this minimal protection, but it would have to do since he and Lily were still under the Trace and could do nothing themselves.
Much to Sev's satisfaction, the Circle of Seven had progressed far beyond the capabilities of their fourth year DADA class, into advanced O.W.L spells, including how to send a message with a Patronus. The true test of Sev's teaching ability was how much Peter learned. While Pettigrew still couldn't beat Sev in a duel, not by a long shot, he had won half of his duels with Sirius and Lily.
The ride home from King's Cross with Mark and Rose was relatively silent. Sev knew that his mother was still at work in Diagon Alley, and couldn't pick him up herself. Sev felt a little guilty that he was glad to be with the Evanses on the ride back to Nurren, as he was the only significantly accomplished wizard in the car who could take on an armada of Death Eaters. But the odds of such an attack happening specifically to them on the open road were slim.
Sev stayed at the Evans' house until late that night, sitting with Lily in her room as they discussed what had been happening in the Wizarding world. He sat with his back against the wall and his legs crossed on the bedspread. Lily was leaning against him, her hand on his thigh. Lily knew that if worse came to worst, she would need to get her family to someplace safe, quickly, without any hesitation on Petunia's part.
Petunia had made a point of avoiding seeing Severus for so long that she could only remember him as a thoroughly sick-looking and filthy boy. The notion that he was fifteen, well-developed, handsome, healthy, and incredibly protective of Lily didn't even cross her mind. Despite the fact that her little sister spent nearly all her time with Sev, Petunia had been successful in her feat—she hadn't seen Severus Prince in perhaps three years.
"We need to talk to her," Sev insisted to Lily, their voices low, the door to her room open just a crack. "She needs to know that if she wants to live in the event of a Death Eater attack, she'd better get to you quick." As much as he disliked Lily's sister, he knew she didn't deserve death at the hands of vicious followers of Voldemort. No one deserved that kind of death.
"I know, Sev, but we both know how she'll react. She can't stand the idea of magic. It's not my fault—or hers—that she isn't magical. I stopped wishing she'd stop blaming me a long time ago. I don't want her to die either, but I don't know how to reach out to her without getting hurt."
The door creaked open, revealing Petunia Evans. Her eyes were a little wide, and grew wider when she saw Sev—whose appearance was exponentially better than she remembered. He looked…sexy… Petunia shook her head a little to rid that thought. She had a boyfriend (who looked and acted nothing like Severus Prince). "All those deaths weren't what the police said, were they?" she asked a little bluntly.
Lily started slightly, her right hand sliding up and clenching over Sev's knee.
"No," Sev answered.
Petunia stared at him. His voice was much deeper, too, and as she watched her sister and Sev, she noticed that the way he held himself implied great power and confidence—two things she didn't remember from before.
"No, they weren't. They were carefully planned murders executed by the darkest wizard of our time and his followers. He doesn't like Muggles or Muggleborns."
Petunia's eyes narrowed ever so slightly, remembering the time when Lily broke her nose. "Are they going to come here?" she asked, trying not to appear very worried about the possibility.
Lily and Severus exchanged a significant glance. "There's no way to know."
Petunia's heart rate sped up. "So—"
Lily stood up and crossed the room to her sister. "Even if I weren't magical, we'd still be in a danger far worse than anything we could imagine. It's not something we can stop them from doing."
"Don't you have a ministry or something?" Petunia asked, her eyes darting from her sister to the lean teenager sitting on the bed.
"They're doing all they can," Sev said, scooting to the edge of the bed and standing up to join Lily. "Aurors came before term ended and put elementary protective wards around the house. If any Death Eaters Apparate inside the boundaries, the Department of Magical Law Enforcement will know."
"They know where we live?" Petunia asked stupidly.
"Of course they do—I'm a witch, aren't I? I'm under the Trace."
Now Petunia was even more confused. "The Trace? What's the Trace?"
Sev sat back down and started explaining to Petunia the rules of underage magic, and before anyone knew it, the clock was reading one in the morning and Sev still hadn't returned home or sent word to his mother.
"I have to get home," he said hurriedly, worried he may have inadvertently caused his mother to fret at his whereabouts, especially with the ongoing attacks across the country. "I'll use the mirror to let you know I've gotten there safely." He quickly kissed Lily and then left, glancing briefly at the older Evans girl.
He found his mother asleep on the couch, obviously having drifted off while waiting for her son to return. Sev gently woke her up and explained why he was so late, that Petunia had finally started to come around to the idea of magic; that it was pertinent for everyone's safety.
Eileen didn't say anything to him about it, but she noticed that her son had matured in ways she didn't understand possible for a fifteen-year old. I always knew he was a special boy, she thought as she bid her son good night and quickly fell asleep.
The next morning at breakfast in the Evans house, Mark and Rose began questioning Lily about the attacks.
"Is Hogwarts really the safest place?" her father asked, glancing around the kitchen as though he could protect his own house from a Death Eater invasion. "What if—"
"No, Dad, it's not like that. Hogwarts is a magical fortress. No one in history has been able to wage a successful siege on the castle because it's so well fortified. The only reason Riddle is killing Muggles and Muggleborn families is because he can't get into Hogwarts or the Ministry to kill the people he really wants to."
Rose set down her mug of tea. "Who do you mean?"
"Riddle wants to off the Minister of Magic and the students and teachers at school who don't support him, to show how powerful he is, how he can strike fear into everyone." Lily said. She paused to drink some orange juice, shifting in her seat a little. She felt her wand in her back pocket, where she'd stuffed it that morning before heading downstairs. "The Aurors are trying to catch him and the three Death Eaters with him, but so far they haven't had any luck. Four people in hiding are harder to find than thirty."
Petunia, who hadn't eaten a meal with Lily home for a couple years, was currently sitting at the table with her family. She looked from her plate to her sister, finally starting to understand the level of danger her and her sister's worlds were in. "Can't they use magic to find him?"
"Magic isn't foolproof, Tuney," Lily replied, using her old nickname for her sister. "If Riddle wants to hide, he can—because he knows a lot more spells—dark spells—that the Ministry either hasn't heard of or doesn't know how to break. We've been over this, he's powerful." Lily drained her glass of orange juice and stood up, placing her dishes in the sink. "I need to talk to Sev," she said, and walked into the living room on her way to the stairs.
Petunia followed her. "Lily—you keep talking about Riddle—I thought his name was Vol—"
"No!"
"—demort."
Only a moment later, the distinct crack of Apparition echoed through the house, and Lily's heart started pounding, and her eyes involuntarily swept to the kitchen, where the dark swish of cloaks could be seen. Dishes and glasses crashed to the floor and the table was overturned, and deep, unfamiliar voices were yelling. Rose screamed.
"To me!" Lily cried out, and Petunia wasted no time in seizing her sister's wrist and holding on tight. Rose flew at her daughters from the kitchen, her eyes wide in deepest fright. She too took hold of Lily. "Dad!" Lily cried out again, but the three Death Eaters had swarmed the kitchen.
They all heard the loud cry of "Avada Kedavra," and it took all of Lily's willpower to squeeze hard on the garnet before her mother realized what had just happened.
The three reappeared only moments later in the living room of Spinner's End, and Lily couldn't breathe. She knew what had just happened and the weight of it hit her as she stumbled forward and clutched at Sev's shirt. The tears would come in a torrent later, she knew, but for now she had to get her mother and sister to full safety. Several blocks away from the attacking party wasn't good enough. They needed to be in a Wizarding village.
"What happened?" Sev asked sharply, gripping her shoulders and holding her back a little so he could see her eyes, knowing that the hurriedness with which the Evans family had appeared was for a good reason. And Mark wasn't with them. "What happened?"
"D—Death Eaters," Lily finally gasped, regaining the ability to breathe. Her eyes stung. "It isn't safe here anymore, we have to leave."
"Where is your father?" he asked, knowing already that the affable man he'd come to see as a father-figure was dead. "He's…they…they did…no…" he said when Lily just shook her head. A tear escaped her eye and dripped down her whitened cheek. His heart clenched.
Sev could waste no time on comforting her, because they needed to get to safety as quick as possible. His mother had just left for work, and he didn't have the time to get her. Instead, he sent a Patronus to the Weasley house as they all stood there in the living room. Rose and Petunia stared at where the silvery doe had disappeared into thin air, and then looked over at the fifteen-year-old wizard.
"Don't worry about your things," he said, his commanding nature making an appearance. For a moment Lily noticed that Sev's eyes looked his true age. "As soon as word comes from Arthur we're Flooing to the Burrow."
This statement went way over both Rose and Petunia's heads, but Lily nodded in understanding.
"Lily, stay down here with your family, I will get a few things to bring with us. Do you have your wand holster?"
Lily blinked; her wand was stuffed into her back pocket. "No! It was in my room—"
Sev waved his hand. "Don't worry about it. I have an extra one, remember? You can use that until we regain access to your house. I will return momentarily." With a hard, meaningful look at Lily, he turned on his heel and swept up the stairs to his room.
Without even looking at his room he made his way to the dresser, where he pulled out the holster and some clothes, which he stuffed into a rucksack that he extracted from the closet. He added a few more magical items lying around the room, and before he left he let his eyes sweep it. He went back downstairs and handed the holster to Lily. She strapped it to her wrist but kept her wand in her hand.
Only a moment later, a silvery weasel appeared in the middle of the room and spoke with Arthur's voice: "Come immediately. We've sent word to Dumbledore. Your mother will be brought here as soon as we can reach her. The Ministry has been alerted. The Order is on guard."
Sev gestured to Lily. "You go first, to show them how it's done."
Lily went to the fireplace and took a pinch of Floo Powder from a dish on the mantle. She stepped into the fireplace, eliciting a lurch from her mother. She threw the powder down, and emerald flames burst up around her. "The Burrow!" she yelled, and in a whoosh she was gone.
She stumbled out of the Burrow's fireplace several seconds later, into a waiting Molly Weasley's arms. The twenty-one year old Molly knew only what had been relayed in Severus's Patronus: that the Evans family had been attacked and needed immediate protection by members of the Order. How Severus knew about the Order Molly didn't know or particularly care, since Lily was a close friend and all Molly wanted to do was protect her.
Lily clung to Molly tightly, and the tears began to fall. When Petunia, Rose, and Severus stepped out of the fireplace in sequence, they saw Lily sobbing in Molly's arms, Arthur standing solemnly behind his wife. Severus moved forward to the two women. He met Molly's eyes, and understanding passed between them. Lily didn't need just anyone right now; she needed Severus.
He placed his hand on Lily's shoulder and she immediately knew it was him. She released Molly and turned to face him, and when their eyes locked none of his walls were up, and he could feel his throat begin to tighten with Lily's pain as well as his own. He enveloped Lily in his arms, feeling her tears against his neck and her fingers clinging desperately to the robes on his back. He didn't say anything; he knew that to his side Rose and Petunia were holding each other, and as he stood there with Lily, Molly and Arthur moved together so that no one was standing alone.
"Sev—Severus," Rose said in a shaky voice, "what happened to him? What—"
At this, Lily let out a wail and Sev tightened his arms around her. Severus kissed the crown of her hair and tilted his head so he could see Rose and Petunia. "He's—they—I'm so sorry," he finally managed. "He's gone." He squeezed his eyes shut and rested his forehead against Lily's hair, determined not to cry but knowing he wouldn't be able to help it.
"No," Rose whispered, her arms slackening and dropping to her sides. "No…"
Petunia rocked away and faced the fireplace, her cheeks wet from tears. Somehow…she knew…
Rose's legs lost the ability to support her body, and she collapsed to her knees in grief. Arthur moved to the older woman and together he and Molly helped Rose onto the couch opposite the fireplace. Petunia stood by the fireplace, her back facing the room and her shoulders wracked with sobs. Sev glanced at her.
He and Lily moved to the couch, and they sank onto it, neither losing their grip on the other. Almost without thinking he began to comfortingly stroke her back, and finally he felt the pressure in his eyes build up to the breaking point. A tear streaked down his skin and landed in Lily's hair.
Arthur gently squeezed Molly's arm and moved to squat in front of Sev and Lily. "You need to tell me what happened, exactly." He glanced at his wife. "I'll leave it to Dumbledore to figure out how you knew we were members of the Order."
Lily buried her face further into the hollow of Sev's neck. "They came out of nowhere," she mumbled. "Right after—" she stopped talking and grew still, tense. Sev's heart rate sped up. Lily shifted away from Sev and wiped her face, her eyes looking first at Arthur and then to her sister by the stone fireplace. "Right after you said his name."
For a moment Sev wondered who she was talking to, but then he saw Petunia finally face the room, her eyes red and splotched. "I'd only wondered why you were calling him 'Riddle,' not—" but this time she stopped herself before anyone had a chance to shush her. "—not the name you used to use."
"The Taboo," Sev breathed, finally recognizing the uneasy feeling he'd been having.
Lily's face contorted, but instead of yelling at her sister she burst into tears again. "It's my fault! I should've told you before not to say it!"
"Shh, Lil, there's no way you could've known," Sev whispered soothingly into her ear as he gathered her up in his arms again.
Arthur didn't move, but his face had become slightly pale. His freckles stood out. "So you're saying his chosen name is tabooed? If anyone says it, the Death Eaters will come calling?"
Sev nodded. "It's the only explanation to how they showed up so quickly and so precisely within the boundaries of the alert ward the Ministry cast. It won't be safe to return for a while, not if it's on Riddle's scope now. If they know where we live it won't be safe there until he's dead."
At this, Arthur exchanged a glance with his wife. "They could stay here," he said softly. "It wouldn't be a problem."
Sev didn't know what to say to this, so he didn't say anything at all. He let himself just feel, and as he did the world outside himself and Lily melted away. They were jolted from their relative peace almost half an hour later when Dumbledore himself Apparated outside and Molly and Arthur went to meet him.
Sev heard hushed voices and he knew they were discussing the attack, what little they knew of it, and how to deal with the safety of Lily's family. He deduced from the whispered conversation that Aurors were all over the Evans home, investigating it like they'd investigated all the other attacks on Muggles and Muggleborns.
He heard his name. He heard it again, and realized it was Dumbledore trying to get his attention.
"Severus, I would like to speak with you."
Sev looked down at Lily and realized she had cried herself to sleep against his chest, her hands curled in the thick of his robes, her knees halfway across his lap, her head tucked beneath his chin. He couldn't move without waking her. "Speak, then, Professor. I'm not moving from where I am," he said quietly so not to wake Lily.
Dumbledore conjured a chair and sat in front of Sev. "It was unwise to allow anyone to know you are aware of the Order, Severus. Members such as the Weasleys could grow suspicious."
"They don't care, though," Severus replied, and it wasn't a question. He knew.
Albus shook his head. "They do not, but only because I told them you are an early recruit. It was safe to assume Miss Evans here knows about the Order as well," he added, referring to Sev's borrowing of the Pensieve in order to show Lily his memories.
Severus decided to change the topic. "You don't know where he is, do you?"
The headmaster shook his head, the long white beard swaying a little. "The Order members within the Auror department report that the search continues but no headway has been made for several months. Tom is smart, Severus. He will have chosen a location impossible to guess."
"But surely not impossible to trace, Albus. There is always a trail."
"This time I fear there is none, Severus."
Severus felt himself growing angry, but he reined himself in so not to wake the love of his life. "That's not good enough," he hissed, his eyes narrowing dangerously. "Her father is dead because no one has caught them yet."
"No," Albus replied bluntly. "Her father is dead because Tom placed a Taboo on his own name, as to track down those brave enough to use it."
"Lily did not speak the name—"
"Of this I am well aware," Albus interrupted. Petunia and Rose were currently upstairs in one of the rooms and Arthur had gone to speak with the Diggorys while Molly made some food for the guests. "Petunia did not know any better, and she is not at fault in this. She did not cast the curse that killed Mark Evans. From what I understand, Lily blames herself for not asking her family to refrain from speaking the name."
Severus fell silent and his dark hazel eyes locked with Albus's piercing blue ones.
The Headmaster's voice was soft. "In fact I am utterly baffled as to how they managed to escape at all, with Death Eaters present in the house."
Sev glanced down at Lily in his arms. "She used the necklace I gave her. I enchanted it to bring her to me if she was ever in danger and she pressed the gem."
"Ingenious…" Dumbledore muttered, peering down at the younger Evans girl.
"About their protection," Sev continued, causing the old wizard to look back into Severus's eyes, "Where will they stay?"
"They?" Dumbledore repeated, a little surprised. "Do you not mean 'we'?"
Sev's brow furrowed.
"While I admire you for putting her safety ahead of your own, it is not just the Evans family that is in danger from what happened in Nurren, Severus. You and your mother require the same protection from Tom's wrath." He saw Sev start to protest, and continued, "Do not let your pride get in the way of safety."
"Where will we stay? Surely not here—we cannot impose on the Weasleys."
"I have discussed this with Arthur and Molly. They have no problem with letting you all stay here—their house is certainly large enough to accommodate everyone. But do not forget that the Wizarding village of Ottery St. Catchpole is just over the hill and can provide ample protection should you and the Evanses wish to move there."
"Nurren is no longer a safe haven at all, then," Severus stated.
Albus shook his head, peering at the Gryffindor over his half-moon spectacles. "Not until Tom is caught or killed."
When Lily finally woke up a little after noon, Sev had fallen asleep and was sprawled lengthwise on the couch with Lily half on top of him. She tried to move off of him without waking him up, but as soon as she shifted her weight he stirred.
Sev opened his eyes and blinked a few times, wondering why Lily's hair was messed up and why her eyes were rimmed with red, until he remembered where they were and what had happened that morning. Wordlessly he opened his arms to her and she sniffed, coming back down onto his chest where new tears began to fall.
"It hurts," she choked out. "It hurts to think I'll never see him again."
"I know, love," he whispered, his own tears falling down the sides of his face towards his ears. "It isn't fair." He could barely remember how Mark and Rose Evans had died in the previous lifetime, but he remembered Lily being beside herself with grief…but at that point he had said the unforgivable word and Lily had found refuge in James Potter's arms.
The start of this summer had forever tainted the years ahead, and Severus knew it.
Rose, Petunia, Lily, Eileen, and Severus stayed at the Weasley house for the next two weeks before Eileen gently suggested to Severus that they start looking for a flat in Ottery St. Catchpole. They were certainly not in want for money to do this; the Prince fortune was at their fingertips but frugality had ingrained tight reins for both Eileen and her son. Eileen did not feel comfortable continuing to live with the Weasleys as she felt they were taking advantage of the hospitality. Sev, however, knew Molly would be more slighted if they left.
"What about the Evanses?" Sev asked pointedly.
"I'm sure we can find a large enough flat for us all."
Sev's eyes widened. "All of us?"
Eileen looked at her son, her hands folded in front of her on the kitchen table. "Don't pretend that their family doesn't need us, Severus."
"I'm not!" he protested, sounding appropriately like a fifteen-year-old.
"They need a support system—that's us."
Severus curled his fingers into a fist. "Mum, I'm not saying that they don't need us, they do—but have you even talked to Rose about getting a flat for all of us? What is her say in this?"
Eileen looked down at her hands. "Rose—and I—both feel as though we have imposed on the Weasley family long enough. Molly has a young toddler to attend to, not to mention another nearly here, without needing the extra distraction of comforting a distraught family."
Severus didn't say anything.
"They're not strong enough," Eileen continued, mistaking her son's silence for a prompt to keep talking. His eyes slowly lifted to meet hers.
"Not strong enough? Just because they're Muggles doesn't mean they can't deal with grief, Mother."
Eileen's eyes narrowed at her son's sharp tone.
And then Sev realized…for a moment he'd forgotten he was supposed to be only fifteen…and that Eileen was his mother and very much alive and in control of his life until he came of age. It hadn't been hard to do, even though he'd spent over four years in his "new" life. He knew he shouldn't have needed to be reminded that things were very different; his father was dead and his mother very much alive and in control of her magic, and Severus didn't doubt that his mother would be around for a much longer time than before.
"Severus," she said, noticing her son's hard, distant expression.
He looked into her eyes and saw himself staring back. He blinked. "I'm sorry, mother."
Eileen's face softened and she reached out with one hand to pat her son's clasped ones. "Why don't you go tell Lily what's going to happen in the next few days? Rose and I have already found a flat large enough for five of us."
Sev nodded and stood up, leaving his mother sitting alone at the kitchen table. He found Lily outside in the orchard, sitting beneath an apple tree with a charred photo album in her hands. Several days after the attack Rose had been allowed to return to the house, escorted by Aurors, and collect the things she and her children wanted to keep, and these were few because after they killed Mark the Death Eaters had proceeded to cast curses everywhere to demolish the home, Disapparating only moments before Magical Law Enforcement arrived and cast the Anti-Disapparition jinx. But at least the Evans family had their own clothes, some personal keepsakes, and Lily's Hogwarts supplies, and the one thing Petunia missed the most was access to a telephone. She hadn't spoken to her boyfriend for several weeks and was worried about what Vernon was thinking.
Severus and his mother had gone back to Spinner's End with Arthur so they could collect their own vital things, using an Undetectable Extension Charm on Sev's Hogwarts trunk so everything they needed could fit. Ares and Artemis had been out hunting during the attack, and both found their way to the Burrow like the smart owls they were.
Lily had the album open to one page, her eyes motionless as she studied one particular, unmoving picture. Her red hair fell in curtains around her face, but Sev knew she had been crying. Without a word he lowered himself next to her and wrapped one arm around her shoulders, releasing a breath when she leaned into him and let the album fall onto his lap.
He looked down and saw Mark Evans with a four-year-old Lily in his arms, enthusiastically kissing her cheek as Lily grinned at the camera.
"I don't know what to say," he whispered.
"You don't have to say anything," she murmured, one finger tracing down her father's immortalized face in the picture. "Just holding me is enough."
Sev kissed the top of her head, his heart in pain for Lily. "Our mothers have found a flat in Ottery St. Catchpole."
"A flat? As in one for all of us?"
"Yes."
"They really think it's for the best, then, to leave the Burrow?"
Sev cleared his throat. "Well, we can still come here, we just wouldn't sleep here anymore."
Lily lifted her head and looked across the orchard to the oddly-shaped house called the Burrow. "Funny. It's started to feel like home."
His heart clenched again, and his arms pulled Lily tight against his chest. "It has for me too."
She sniffed and turned in his arms so her eyes gazed up into his. "Make it stop, Sev…make the pain go away…"
"I don't know how," he replied softly, trying not to lose himself in the intense green looking up at him.
Before he could stop her she was kissing him, clinging to him in desperation and pain, hormones raging inside her as she dealt with the fresh tragedy of her father's death… She tasted salty, like her tears, and Sev knew he had to stop her before they lost control. This was not the time.
"Lily," he whispered as he pushed her back from him, but kept his hands firmly on her shoulders, "don't. It won't fix anything."
She hiccupped. "But…but don't you want me?"
"Oh, Lily, of course I do," he whispered, placing a chaste kiss on her forehead. "But when the time is right. We're—you're still young. It should be its own special moment, not when we're still grieving your father."
Lily cried into his chest, sometimes screaming her hate for Voldemort. Sev lost track of time, and when he woke up hours later the sun was setting. Gently he gathered Lily to his chest and stood up, careful not to wake her from the peaceful slumber, and took her inside.