A/N
On to chapter 11 where Elizabeth finally reads the letter!(Some of you got tired of waiting for it, sorry for that but that was my challenge to self – to make her fall in love with him without the letter!)
Some portions of this text (the parts of the letter I have quoted) are of course a straight lift from the original (Thank you JA for the nth time for your beautiful book!) What I have tried to show is how our E might interpret it - now that she is already in love with D..
Frankly, I would be waiting with bated breath for your feedback as I am sure some of you might not completely appreciate my partiality for Darcy ; )). However, I have to confess that even in the original I could never completely agree that 'following good principles in pride and conceit' could adequately explain Darcy's disdainful and obnoxious rudeness… in Meryton. (According to me there had to be some other reason for the man who Mrs Reynolds describes (and E later agrees) to behave in the manner he did in the beginning. My explanation here still does not explain or can condone his subterfuge in London.. though I have tried… Truth is I never could understand or accept what he did at the time!
Finally keeping my fingers crossed that most of you do understand what I have tried to convey through E's musings :)
As always thank you all for the engagement with my story, for all the encouraging reviews, follows and the favorites, very much appreciated.
One of the guest reviewers has asked about the frequency of postings…unless there are some compelling reasons not to, I do try to post at least once a week. Although I am sorry I am unable to stick to a specific day..
To reader Lisa – As always, thank you for spending time on my story with your discerning eye and keeping track of the period appropriateness of the idioms/phrases I seem to be in a habit of using. I really do appreciate your kind help very much.
A Chance EncounterCopyright © 2021 by S. Neha
All rights reserved.
Chapter 11Elizabeth picked up the letter with a hand that shook slightly. All other items that had fallen out from the valise lay on the floor, forgotten. She examined the letter carefully. The seal was broken and the creases on the sheets revealed that they had been folded and unfolded many times. 'Shall I read it? After all, the letter is addressed to me,' She told herself a little conveniently.
"But it was never given to you, was it? If he had wanted you to read it, don't you think Mr Darcy would have somehow managed to pass it on to you in the last few days." Elizabeth huffed irritably and opened the letter, purposely ignoring the annoying inner voice. The letter was dated from Rosings on the very next day of his proposal to her! Her eyes slid to the salutation and widened as she read. 'Be not alarmed, Madam, on receiving this letter, by the apprehension of its containing any repetition of those sentiments, or renewal of those offers, which were last night so disgusting to you.'
Elizabeth closed her eyes in mortification. 'Clearly, his intentions have changed, and who could blame him after the cruel manner in which I refused his suit.' She thought, experiencing a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach. She hurriedly folded the letter and went back to stare out of the window. Suddenly, feeling quite reluctant to find out what Mr Darcy had written to her in the letter. 'Do I truly want to read this?' She asked herself even as her eyes involuntarily strayed back to the closely written sheets in her hand. 'Well, my girl, you were daring enough to hurl accusations at him. It is only fair that you now be brave enough to read what he has to say in response.' She squared her shoulders determinedly, sat back on the couch and once more unfolded the letter.
Elizabeth had been to a seaside town only once in her life. When she had been about ten or eleven, she and Jane had gone to Brighton with their Uncle and Aunt Gardiner. One day while they had been enjoying a visit to the beach, the weather and the sea both had turned nasty all of a sudden. She remembered that she had been sitting on the rocky beach with her back to the sea, searching for some intricately coloured pebbles from the thousands spread before her. She had been so involved in the activity that she failed to hear the warning her uncle had shouted. It was only after she had been drenched completely by a violent, incoming wave, that her uncle picked her up from the ground and took her to safety. Even after all those years she had never forgotten the sudden shock and distress she had felt when that extremely cold water crashed all over her so unexpectedly. Now as she read and reread the letter in her hand, the whole gamut of emotions that kept hitting her made her feel exactly like that- shocked and distressed.
Mr Darcy had started the letter by explaining his role in separating Jane and Mr Bingley. As she read, she tried to summon up anger at him for his high handed behaviour, to rail at his presumption to sit in judgement of her sister's feelings or their lack, but her heart was not in it. It might have worked had she still been in the misconception that he was a disdainful snob who looked down on those he considered his inferior. However, she had seen him interact with so many people in the last few days, none were his equal in rank and status, but he had treated them all with kindness and consideration. How could she blame everything on him, when it was her family's uncontrolled behaviour that had costed Jane her happiness. She closed her eyes in despair and the disjointed words from the letter danced in front of her eyes. 'The situation of your mother's family, though objectionable was nothing in comparison of that total want of propriety, so frequently, so almost uniformly betrayed by herself, your three younger sisters, and occasionally even by your father…. from what passed that evening my opinion of all parties was confirmed, and every inducement heightened, which could have led me before to preserve my friend from what I esteemed a most unhappy connection.'
She remembered the night of the ball at Netherfield that he mentioned in the letter, and a hot flush of shame darkened her face. She loved her family, but even she had felt utterly humiliated by their behaviour that night. Lydia and Kitty's wild conduct, her mother's vulgar assertions about an imminent engagement between Jane and Mr Bingley, Mary's tasteless exhibition, and their father's humiliation of her sister; all played out in front of her eyes, and she shuddered. How could she blame him if such behaviour gave him a disgust of their family and rendered a connection with them unpalatable, especially when he believed that Jane's affections were not engaged. Had she been in his place and seen what he did, believed what he did; she might also have advised a word of caution to Mr Bingley! She shook her head as her heart filled with sadness. She might continue to blame Mr Darcy for his interference in the affair, but fairness demanded it of her to lay the blame where most of it was due. Her family's improper conduct and Mr Bingley's lack of self-belief were more to blame for Jane's broken heart than anything else. Afterall, Mr Bingley was the one who had spent so much time with Jane, if he did not have the courage of his convictions, how could she put blame on Mr Darcy for offering advice as he deemed fit. Although, it continued to hurt - a lot, that a straightforward man like him had employed subterfuge to keep Jane and Mr Bingley apart in London. But then she remembered that two days ago he had not hesitated to employ deception when he had felt the need to protect her, then what would he not do for Mr Bingley who was his dearest friend.
"Especially if protecting Mr Bingley also helped to protect his own beleaguered heart!" The voice chirped slyly and once again Elizabeth could not deny the sense in what it implied. He had himself confessed that he had struggled – in vain to fight his attraction. Tiredly, she leaned back on the couch and closed her eyes – 'if only…'. She thought releasing a deep breath. If only her family members had behaved with more decorum, if only Jane had been more open with her feelings, if only she had been less prejudiced, if only Mr Darcy had been as empathetic as he had shown himself to be so recently.
Suddenly, she opened her eyes in puzzlement as she tried to reconcile the Mr Darcy she had met in Meryton to Alex she had fallen in love here in Bassingtonstoke. Her mind flew back to their first meeting at the Meryton assembly, and she recollected that he had appeared aloof and uncomfortable even as he entered the assembly - which was quickly abuzz about his noble mien, ten thousand pounds per annum, and purported ownership of half of Derbyshire. 'Oh! Of course, how else would a man, recently heartsore from the treacherous and mercenary actions of a supposed 'childhood friend' react to further avaricious discussions about himself and his friend, if not by disdain?" She asked herself. She could not be sure, but she believed that she had found the reason for Alex's strangely contrary conduct in the Meryton assembly, and things had only gone downhill from there. The aggressive matchmaking efforts of the matrons of Meryton led by her mother, Mr Wickham's insidious lies about Alex, and her own initial dislike of him fed by those lies, all had insured that neither she nor he, had behaved at their best during their acquaintance in Meryton.
Thinking of Mr Wickham once again caused a wave of shock to pass through her. She had already known in her heart that there was something wrong with his story but had never imagined that it was a complete, malicious falsehood. 'What a vile man! Poor Miss Darcy! Now, what Alex had spoken about her in the morning makes sense. It seems she has still not come to terms with that rake's shenanigans.' Elizabeth mused compassionately. 'But how could I allow that… man to feed me such lies. How could I believe his claims without once considering the contradiction between his words and his actions. Never realizing the incongruity of his sharing such intimate details with a near stranger. Since when have I become such a poor judge of character?' she asked herself in distress.
"Ever since you heard that hurtful comment about your tolerable appearance!" The pesky inner voice was back and was annoyingly correct as usual. Elizabeth had to agree that the comment had hurt more than just her vanity. "But since then, Mr Darcy has obviously changed his tune somewhat! After all he found you more than handsome enough to tempt him to consider leg-shackling himself to you!" The voice continued and Elizabeth's lips quirked up in a smile, as she acknowledged the truth of that. The smile soon faded as she recalled his salutation from the letter. 'But he has changed his mind now… anyone would do so if they were repulsed in the manner I rejected his proposal.' She thought forlornly. 'But he has been so kind and caring of me ever since he came to our rescue on the day of the accident. Not once has he shown any resentment for my behaviour. Maybe…' Hope flared a little in her heart.
"Well, he has been equally caring of Mrs Webster, John and Mr Smith. Is it your contention that he plans to offer marriage to any or all of them?" The voice was at its annoying best.
"Oh, be quiet… you!" Elizabeth burst out in irritation, but she could not deny the validity of the argument. Had it been Mr Darcy who had been so considerate of her, she would have had a reason to hope, but Alex… had shown himself to be an intrinsically kind man. No, she could not consider his kindness as a sign of his partiality.
It was ironic really, two days ago when she had gained consciousness literally in his arms, she had believed herself to be in a nightmare! Presently, she would consider the exact same thing as the very substance of her dreams, and now, that they were in danger of remaining only dreams, the pain she felt at the thought was astonishing. How such a shift had happened in two measly days, she did not know. Somehow, it had happened, and she found herself helpless to undo it. Before she had read his letter, she believed she had fallen in love with Alex, the kind and charming man she met on the day of her accident. Now, however, she understood that though she might like Alex better, she was in love with Fitzwilliam Alexander Darcy. That flawed but worthy man, who was a strange mixture of aloofness, empathy, pride, and generosity of spirit. The most upright, and the best of men she knew and now wanted for her very own. She pressed her hand to her mouth, realizing the futility of her altered wishes. As things had stood then, she could not really regret refusing him that day in the parsonage, but she did regret the vitriol with which she had done so. More than that she regretted that she had come to know of his goodness and undergone this change of heart only when she had slammed the door shut on her happiness.
Alex had said that they could travel to London as early as tomorrow, and then… they would go their separate ways. 'Oh Lord!, I am not ready for that just yet. Could we not stay here for a while longer, Alex, Millie and I, as the loving family we are pretending to be!' The wild and futile nature of her thoughts distressed her suddenly. 'Get a hold on yourself, Lizzy. Somethings are just not meant to be. Rather than mooning in this revolting manner, it would be much better if you do something useful… like searching for the clues for Millie's identity.'
She folded the letter, picked up the rest of Alex's things from the floor and put everything back in his valise. Then, feeling too agitated to ring the bell for Martha and wait in the room, she went out in search of her.
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Darcy handing over the reins of Poseidon to John and started on his way to the farmhouse. He felt quite satisfied with his visit to The Red Lion. Security for Pegasus had been reasonably arranged. Jones had been quite happy to offer him a man who would, starting tonight, undertake to guard Pegasus during the nights. As far his inquiries about Pegasus were concerned, they went on the expected lines. Jones had corroborated what John had told him previously. Except the squire, Mr Mathews, no one in Bassingtonstoke had the resources to purchase Pegasus, and according to the innkeeper, the squire would never stoop down to orchestrate the attacks that had happened on the farmhouse. Moreover, had Mr Mathews so desired, he already had a legitimate reason to ask for Pegasus in lieu of the loan he had offered to the Websters. His inquiries in Bassingtonstoke had reached a dead end. In case he wanted to continue the investigations, he would need to do so in London.
While at the inn, Darcy had also met Smith, who had informed him that their carriage would be ready for travel to London on the morrow, if they were willing to commence the journey in the early afternoon. It suited Darcy. The journey to the metropolis was less than two hours. Even with a small break in between for Elizabeth and Millie's comfort, they would be home much before it became dark. He was really impatient to reach London, transport Elizabeth to her relative's place and then begin his courtship in earnest. That is, if she agreed to his request!
Eager to share his news with Elizabeth, he hurried inside the house and almost collided with her as she came out of a small room next to Mrs Webster's parlour.
"Careful!" He steadied her as she stumbled in an attempt to protect the objects in her arm from falling.
"I am sorry, I was not paying attention where I was going."
"There is no need to apologise, Elizabeth, but what are you doing out here? You promised me that you would rest for a while."
"I did try, sir. However, my mind was too active to allow me to rest. I kept thinking about exploring the contents of Mr Dawson's trunk and wondering if we would find something that would point us to Millie's family. After a while things came to such a point that I just had to come down and begin the search." Elizabeth replied, revealing only a tiny portion of her anxious musings.
Something in her expression discouraged Darcy from making further issue about the matter. He asked instead, "So, did you find something helpful in the trunk?"
"I did find a few things that are Millie's legacy and would certainly be important to her as she grows older. However, I am not really sure how helpful they are from our perspective."
When Darcy raised his brow enquiringly, she replied. "I found a family Bible, a small locket in a gold chain, and a scrap of paper with the address of a Mrs Catherine Basset, who stays in London." She held out the objects in her hand towards him as she spoke.
"I believe Mrs Basset was the friend with whom Mrs Dawson was planning to stay while she searched for Millie's father," Elizabeth continued softly so as not be overheard.
Darcy nodded absently as he examined the Bible and the piece of paper kept inside it. He then looked up at her, "Umm.. you also mentioned a locket?"
"Oh, of course! Elizabeth exclaimed as she took out a locket hanging from a thin gold chain from the pocket of her gown. "I am not a great judge of these things, but I believe that there is quite a lot of difference in the quality of the chain and the locket," she added, as she held it out to him.
"Yes, although small, the locket does look like a family heirloom." Darcy nodded and caught hold of the chain but immediately dropped it in surprise at the sudden cry of, "Mama locket!" from the doorway of the parlour. Before either of them could react, Millie had picked up the locket and hugged it to herself. "Mama." She said again, fervently.
Elizabeth and Darcy exchanged a quick glance, then Elizabeth got down on her knees beside the child. "How beautiful! Is it Millie's?" She asked as she touched the locket gently. The little girl shook her head, "Mama." She repeated like a prayer, and the way her hands tightened on the chain told Elizabeth that it would not be easy to get her to part from it.
"Shall I put it on for you?" she asked gently.
Millie nodded vigorously and presented the chain to Elizabeth, who dutifully slipped it over the child's head. The delighted smile the child offered in response tugged at Elizabeth's heart and she caught the little girl to herself.
As she got up with the child in her arms, Darcy cleared his throat. "Come, we will be more comfortable in the parlour," he said gruffly.
"Ah, so Millie did find you both. We heard some voices in here and the child was quite eager to find her Dorsey and Beth." Mrs Webster smiled at them.
"Yes, we were standing not too far from the door," Darcy nodded as he went to sit next to her.
"Mrs Webster, I now have an agreement with Jones regarding Pegasus's security." As the old lady raised her brow in enquiry, he proceeded to share the details with her."
Mrs Webster nodded once he had finished. "I am truly grateful to you, Mr Fitzwilliam for all you have done for us, and hope that you would be back here soon with that mare of yours."
Darcy smiled and shook his head. "If anyone has to be grateful, ma'am, then its I and my family who are grateful to you for taking us in when we needed and bestowing so much care on us. As far as our next visit is concerned, I am sure that Georgie would not let me wait any more than is logistically necessary. It would not be long before we are at your doorstep once again!"
"And you will be most welcome."
On that note of goodwill both Mrs Webster and Darcy turned towards Elizabeth and found her gently rocking Millie in her arms. For a long moment Darcy just stared at the precious image, then with a sigh, he asked softly, "Is she asleep?" At Elizabeth's nod he got up and went to her. "I will carry her to the room, and I will suggest that you also take rest for a while, Elizabeth."
"He is right, Elizabeth. Mr Talbot was quite particular in his advice for you. He will have my head if he comes to know that contrary to his instructions, you have been up and about since morning."
Realizing the good sense in what Mrs Webster said, Elizabeth got up with a smile, and she and Darcy took their leave off their hostess.
As they entered their chamber Elizabeth brought up the subject of the locket once again. "I tried to see if there was a miniature in it that might offer us a clue, but I could not find a mechanism to open it," she informed Darcy.
"Hmm… maybe it does not have one. I can have a look at it, and if required we can also ask a jeweller to examine it," Darcy said as he gently put Millie to bed.
Elizabeth nodded, then asked about his inquiries at The Red Lion. Darcy gave her a quick summary of his inquiries. "Then the only course of action left to us is to investigate Cyril Webster." Elizabeth said thoughtfully.
Darcy knew that it was just a figure of speech, but that 'us' still gladdened his heart. "Yes, I am planning to visit Mr Sandiford's warehouse the day after the morrow." When Elizabeth looked at him in Puzzlement, he shook his head ruefully. "Oh, I forgot to mention that I also met Smith at the inn. Our carriage would be ready by tomorrow morning. We can leave in the afternoon, if we so wish."
She had been expecting the news. He had already informed her about the possibilities before leaving for The Red Lion, still the information came as a shock. All her hopes of having a few more days with him and Millie in the idyllic setup of Mrs Webster's home had suddenly gone up in smoke, and it hurt. That he seemed quite happy to leave here felt still more hurtful.
"You seem very eager to shake the dust off this place, sir, " she began sharply. "But I think I can understand. Anyone who has the responsibility of an unrelated female and a child thrust on them so unceremoniously, would be eager to be rid of it as soon as possible." She had tried to continue more neutrally, but despite her best efforts the hurt she was feeling came out in the bitterness of her voice.
"Elizabeth?" Darcy asked tentatively. "What is it? Are you not feeling well? Of course, we will travel tomorrow, only if you are feeling well enough to do so."
Elizabeth looked in his dark eyes, his confusion and worry was clearly visible in them and suddenly she felt very ashamed of her petulance. He had been kind to her and Millie beyond expectations and at quite a lot of expense and trouble to himself. Despite the fact that he had all the reasons to be resentful of her, he had never once shown it in his behaviour or actions. Now, just because she had discovered that she was in love with him and… and wanted to… to continue pretending to be his wife, it was no reason throw tantrums if he did not have similar wishes!
"Please do not worry, Alex, I am well. It is just that I am feeling a bit overwhelmed with all that I have discovered today." She said contritely and truthfully. "But I… I believe that I would be as fit as that fiddle as soon as I take this rest that you all have been advising me." She tried a weak jest and was pleased to see his expression lighten.
"Of course, I can understand. Even I found Mrs Webster's story quite overwhelming, but please do not fret, Elizabeth. We will try and help the kind lady as best as we can. Now please rest." He admonished with a smile and then raised his hand to tuck an errant curl, that had escaped from its confines, behind her ears. "I will see you later." He bowed and left swiftly. The affectionate gesture had come so naturally to him that he had not even noticed it, but she did, and her heart hammered against her ribs as confusion and hope warred for supremacy within.
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