A/N: Hello! Danke once again for all your support. (fun fact: i did German at school for 3 years and just had to google that.) This is perhaps the chapter you've been waiting for, and is most definitely the beginning of the end. Sadly, it won't necessarily be straight plain sailing to the finish line, but I'm not going to do anything too horrible.

Enjoy chapter 17!

It's better to feel pain, than nothing at all

The opposite of love is indifference

So pay attention now, I'm standing on your porch screaming out

And I wont leave until you come downstairs

-The Lumineers, Stubborn Love

Emma gave Regina time. And then some more. More time than she could bear. When you've been spending almost every second of every day together, an hour apart seems like an eternity. After just over a week, Emma was sure that any second she would crack and go running to Regina, but she knew that Regina needed to be ready for anything to happen. Henry had visited a couple of times, and both women were sure to make him travel by himself to avoid any awkward or too-soon conversations.

"Have you spoke to my mom lately?" Henry asked in the next visit, as himself and Emma sat in the diner one lazy afternoon.

"Not for a little while. Why, has she said something?" Emma said, alarmed.

"No, she hasn't said anything. Specifically. Sometimes, she'll mention you though. Something funny you said, or something you used to do when you guys were staying together."

"And how does she seem? When she says these things?"

"..Sad. I think she misses you." Henry tried, attempting to gauge a response in Emma's face. She remained resolute, however. Regina would only be ready when she came to her.

"I miss her too, kid. But she's… working through some stuff right now. Archie said I should give her some space to sort herself out, and I thought that seemed like a good idea."

"So you guys are pretty close now, huh?" Henry tried and failed to not sound suspicious.

"Yes, we are. Friends." Emma gave Henry a look, knowing that the ship had pretty much sailed now on him ever believing she felt anything platonic towards Regina. "Let's go back to the apartment for a couple of hours. David and Mary Margaret's, I mean." Emma really needed to cut the apron strings and move herself into her new apartment. She'd got far too comfortable living with her parents and brother, but in lieu of comfort from her son or Regina, she'd been helpless but to look for the next best thing.

A few hours later, as night came around, Emma was about to tell Henry it was time to go when her phone rang.

Seeing the name flash up, she hesitated. Drawing on a few tense breaths, and clearing her throat, she tried her best to appear nonchalant. "Henry's just about to leave."

"I was just calling to let you know that Henry is more than welcome to stay at your apartment tonight if he wishes." Regina's voice sounded forcefully harsh over the phone, and Emma recognised the cracks as she attempted to stay cold.

"..Oh. Well that's great, Regina. Thanks."

"You're welcome." There was a second's gap. "How are you?"

"Uh, I'm fine. Was there something else you wanted?" Emma said confusedly, tensing so that a line appeared between her eyebrows.

"I haven't seen you in a while. As you are well aware, the mayor and sheriff should be in regular contact, so as not to…"

"Regina, don't even go there with the 'mayor and sheriff' bullshit. Archie told me I needed to give you time, and that's what I'm giving you."

"That's… considerate of you. Thank you."

"You don't need to thank me. So seriously, do you have something to say?" Emma was secretly hoping for a profession of love. A profession of anything, really. It was one thing to know someone felt something for you, but it was a whole other story actually hearing the words leave their mouth. "Regina?" Emma whispered comfortingly, realising that the woman had been quiet for longer than a few seconds.

"… I miss you, Emma." Regina choked out eventually, and was greeted by a second of silence before the other woman hung up the phone.

Regina remained seated on the side of the bed. Emma's side of the bed. She sat there in silence for a few minutes, staring blankly into space. Willing herself to feel something. To be angry, upset, embarrassed that she had essentially been rejected, but nothing materialised.

There was a knock at the door.

"Regina… Let me in… I know you're… in there." A tired, out of breath Emma was shouting from the other side of the front door, wheezing between her words. "Please… I ran all the way here…"

Regina breathed a sigh of relief to herself, stood up coolly, and walked down the stairs to the front door.

"Go home, Miss Swan." Regina responded, a tear finally escaping down her cheek.

"I'm not leaving until you speak to me. I'll be here all night."

"Very well." Regina pretended to leave, instead sitting against the wall a foot away from the door. She wanted to be near Emma. And if she was too afraid to admit that she needed her, this would have to do.

She wasn't sure how long she was there before falling asleep, and when she woke up again the sun was starting to rise. Opening the door to be sure Emma had left, she was greeted by the sight of the woman curled up on the porch, hugging her knees.

"See… Told you I'd wait. Just listen to what I have to say." The sound of the door opening had woken Emma, who had spent hours waiting for that very sound. Regina relented, and Emma brushed a hand across her face and unkempt hair and stood as Regina allowed entrance into the house.

Regina walked into the kitchen, and Emma followed awkwardly, as the first woman leant her hands on the counter and put her head down. Waiting for no further cue, Emma began.

"Every night since you've got your memories back, I've came here. I've left my parents' apartment, determined, ready to talk you. I've rehearsed a speech endless times in my head, and I'd repeat it all the way here. I'd never get further than the porch, though. I didn't want to tell you because I didn't want to know your response. The time I spent with you here was the most infuriating, painful… meaningful time of my life. But being without you is even worse. I can't sleep, I can't eat, I can't function, Regina."

"I'm failing to see what this has to do with me, Miss Swan. The ill-advised ways you wish to spend your time have no impact on me." Regina spun round to face Emma and clenched her jaw, but the quiver in her lip was still visible regardless.

"It's everything to do with you. Don't you get it? That true love's kiss… it was building off our feelings. At least on my end, it was. I'm in love with you, no matter how much I don't want to be. I used to stay up at night wishing for all these things; a home, parents, family, but even though I have all of that now, it's not enough. You're the only person I could imagine myself being happy with. And if you aren't interested, then that's fine. I'll walk away and try to forget what a complete ass I made of myself. But for that kiss to have worked… you need to feel at least something for me. You waited by that door for me all night, Regina. You were so scared you wanted to take my heart. You kissed me, with true love. What does that tell you?"

"It tells me that I was a fool. Loving you was one of the less acceptable decisions my brain has decided to make, and believe me, there has been a lot of them."

"But you do? Love me?"

"What I do, or do not feel, doesn't matter now. I have my memories back."

"You also considered trying to rip my heart from my chest. And here I am."

"That wasn't… I'm sorry about that. I truly am. But I don't know what you want from me…"

"I don't want anything."

"Then why are you here, Miss Swan?"

"You told me that you missed me. And I didn't want you to, so here I am. And I know I probably shouldn't have hung up like I did, but I sort of wanted to get here as quick as I could."

Regina took a few deep breaths in, steadying herself. She stole a glance into Emma's eyes, still as endearing as ever even with the tears threatening to spill from them.

"I've been trying to prove something." Regina began, shakily. "Whether it's to myself, or to others, I don't know. I wanted to prove that I wasn't weak, and I wasn't the same as every other person walking around with love in their hearts. I didn't want to need anyone, to rely on anyone. But I needed you. I needed you more than I have ever needed anything in my life, and I couldn't handle that. I kissed you, and I remembered, and… nothing else really mattered, after that. All I could think about was this gnawing pain in my chest, that I'd made a mistake. I couldn't be the hero that I'd intended to be. And so I tried to rectify it, in the most inhumane, evil… typical way possible."

"Love didn't make me weak; I was already weak. This anger, this… evil inside me is what has been keeping me from being happy. You seem so willing to things for me, to make me happy with you getting nothing in return. And that scares me more than you can imagine. You are too good for me as I am now, and you deserve somebody better. But the fact that I've acknowledged my weakness, I think… is a start. A start to me being a good person, and being happy. It might not happen immediately, but if you give me some time, I believe I could make you happy too. You, Henry and myself; we could be happy together. And I'm sorry. And…" Regina looked away from Emma. "And I do."

"You do what?"

"love you." Regina finished simply, still miraculously holding it together.

"Well, that's…"

"But I can't offer you what you want from me at the moment."

"Which is?"

"Security. A home. A family."

"We already are a family, Regina. But right now, all I want is to go to bed with you. Not like that.." Emma noticed the look on Regina's face, "But I'm tired, and I can see you are too. I can't get to sleep without you. I just want some sleep."

"I think we could manage that."

The two women didn't bother to get undressed, instead getting straight into Regina's bed fully clothed. Unlike the nights before, Emma had no qualms about getting close to Regina, this time pulling the woman into her so that her chin was resting on Regina's head.

"What do you want, Regina?" Emma whispered.

"I don't know. Something. You." Regina mumbled, for once without a coherent train of thought to express.

"Isn't that enough? I know that you think you need to change, to get back to how you were before. I don't want you to change by yourself this time Regina, I want to be here with you. I want to help you."

"And how would you do that?" Regina moves a little away from Emma so she can turn over to look her in the eye.

"I could just be here. Me and Henry. You'd already changed, Regina, you just need to remember that. You're there."

"I know I did, but I'm… I don't want to get my hopes up. If you're sure that being here is what you want.."

"You're what I want."

Regina cut Emma off with a short, sweet kiss. "Let's get some sleep, I'm exhausted."

"Me too. I felt… lost without you." Emma admitted, and Regina smiled into another kiss. "I love you." Emma finished, and Regina turned over to settle back into Emma for the morning.