Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight

Chapter 17: All Falls Down

Alice POV:

I started to sob again while I drove home. God I've cried a lot today. Well good job Alice, once again you've screwed yourself. If there was an award for how many times one could fuck themselves over, you'd win it. I had parked in our driveway a while ago, but continued to sob in the car. Rosalie pulled my door open and leaned down to talk to me gently.

"What happened? Did she not forgive you?"

"No she did. But then she asked why I left without saying goodbye and I told her. And then I fucking kissed her. God Rose you should have seen her face. She looked disgusted when she pushed me off of her." I threw my arms around Rosalie and wept into her shoulder. She didn't say anything, just let me be. Eventually she picked me up and carried me to my room, setting me down on the bed. Smoothing out my hair as I calmed down.

"Oh Alice. What are we going to do with you?"

I did not want to go to school today. Seeing Bella may just turn me into a weepy mess again. I begged Esme not to make me go. She insisted it would make it worse if I didn't show however. So here I am. Of course this didn't mean anything, because Bella didn't come to school today. Congrats Alice. You've horrified her so much she can't even look at you. You know…, she did kiss you back. Yeah that was just instinct. She didn't think about it being me. It was one hell of a kiss though. Yeah, up until she shoved you away.

Bella came to school on Friday and I tried my best to ignore her. Oh how the tides have turned. She was really reserved all day according to my siblings. She walked up to me at lunch, I wanted to run but Rosalie stamped my foot. Rose knows me way too well.

"Alice? Can we talk outside for a minute?" Bella was very well-mannered about it. Could I really even say no? I nodded and followed her out to the courtyard. My siblings whispered good lucks underneath their breath. Here we go. "Alice I wanted to apologize for the way I reacted yesterday. I did not mean to sound so rude. You were being open with me and I appreciate that." I couldn't believe what I was hearing. This new Bella would be chewing my ear off right now. But she was actually apologizing? For her reaction to me pouncing on her? "I just don't think I can return your feelings. I would like to have you as a friend again however, if you can forgive me for my outburst?" I stood there with my mouth hanging open.

"Forgive you? Bella you should not be apologizing to me. It was completely my fault. Your reaction was normal and expected. But yes I would love to be your friend again!" It felt like a dream having her back in my life again, but she was acting so weird, strained almost. I would ask her what was wrong but I didn't want to push my newly reformed friendship. "Would you like to hang out his weekend? Maybe shopping or something?" I didn't care what we did, as long as I could spend time with her.

"Actually I'm out of town this weekend. Maybe some time next week though."

"Oh ok." She was always out of town. Where is she going? But she didn't say no to me. That was big. All I need to do is be a good friend again.

"Alright. I'll see you later Alice." She bid goodbye and headed back inside the cafeteria. Why was she so tense and polite? As she walked away I noticed that her right hand was bruised badly, like she had gotten into a fight with something quite solid. Bella is not normally a violent person. It was all very strange and I didn't really like it. But I pushed that out of my mind, today was a good day.

Bella has been my friend again for a week now and things are looking up. I can tell that she's still very uncomfortable around my family in the house when we work together, but she relaxes slightly when it's just me. Not as relaxed as she used to be around me, but better than where things were before. I've learned more about this new Bella and I like her a lot. She's witty and charismatic, and I know she's suppressing most of it. Emmett got her to play video games with him one day and it was a nice moment for him. He had missed her so much. Rose even got to talk to her about cars after school on Tuesday. The family is slowly trying to earn her trust back, and we're getting somewhere. It'll be a long road, but we can see progress.

She's going out of town this weekend again. Wherever she's going she doesn't seem to get any sleep, because she comes back looking like death. If I play my cards right, I may be able to ask where she's going next time. But I will have to wait till I'm ready.

There was a big portion of our project due on Monday so Bella told me she'd stop by my house when she got home on Sunday to help finish it up. Today is Sunday, I get to see my best friend today. At about 5 o'clock in the evening I heard her car pull up the drive, it was one of my favorite sounds. I ran out the front door to greet my exhausted mate.

"Bella! We missed you." I pulled her into an awkward hug. I forgot she doesn't like touching. "Sorry."

"It's alright." She sighed heavily. "Well come on, let's finish this part for tomorrow."

"Righto." We walked into the house towards the dining room. She quietly greeted everyone while following me. We really didn't have much to do so the work was almost done in twenty minutes. Esme saw how tired Bella looked so she brought her a cup of coffee, Bella thanked her. Once we were finished Bella got up to clean the mug in the kitchen.

"Bella I can do that honey." Esme was probably trying the hardest, besides me, to win back her trust.

"No really it's fine. It's the least I can do." She started the water in the sink, but was still pretty out of it, so the mug slipped from her hand.

"I got it!" I yelled while her left arm lunged for it. I caught the mug with one hand and grabbed her left forearm with the other, to prevent her from hurting herself. Humans are easily breakable and I was always afraid she'd hurt herself. So I cared, sue me. But I must have grabbed her arm too hard because she yelped in pain. I immediately let go of her apologizing and she held her arm close to her body gingerly. That's weird, I swear I didn't grasp it hard at all.

"Bella I am so sorry I didn't want you to hurt yourself. I really didn't mean to hurt you. Is your arm ok? Let me see it, maybe Carlisle can take a look at it." She jumped back at my words.

"No! No it's fine. I'm fine." She started mumbling her words and I could see that she was very clearly still in pain. "You know Alice I really need to get going actually." She made a move towards the door, but I blocked her.

"Stop." Something inside my head clicked when I looked at her clutching her arm. She never took off that bandage covering her forearm. James' bite was not that big. "Stop." I repeated, thinking about my possible revelation. I mean it would make sense I guess. We left Bella, then her parents died, and now she's in a loveless relationship. She drinks and does drugs. Oh my god. She's cutting herself. "Bella take off that bandage. Now." Her eyes went wide in fear.

"What? Alice no. I told you I'm fine. I really need to get home." She was backing away from me, so I advanced on her. I probably looked really menacing right now. Someone was hurting my mate, and it was my mate herself.

"Bella, I'm not asking you. We both know that I'm stronger than you. So please, take off the bandage." Her eyes kept darting around the room, looking for an escape route it seemed. I had forgotten Esme was still in the kitchen, observing the confrontation. "Bella! Now! Let me see your arm!" I was losing it. Carlisle came running, trying to defuse the situation.

"Alice? Bella? What's wrong? Alice why are you blocking her from leaving?"

"She's fucking cutting herself Carlisle! That's why she's covering her arm all the time! She's obviously in pain when I touch her arm!" I was getting pretty hysterical at this point.

"You think I'm cutting myself?" Bella was genuinely surprised. "Carlisle I swear I'm not." Carlisle looked at the scene in front of him, scrutinizing every detail.

"Bella I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask to see your arm." He spoke quietly, hoping that his calmness would coax her too cooperate. "I wouldn't be doing my job if I didn't." Bella looked absolutely horrified now.

"No. Carlisle I can't. Please, please don't make me." Her voice was wavering with panic. I'd never seen her look so scared, not even in the face of three red-eyed vampires. My instincts finally got the better of me and I tackled her to the ground in a split second. I would hold her prisoner if it meant she would never hurt herself again.

"Alice!" Esme and Carlisle yelled in unison. But I was too far gone. Bella was actually struggling against me hard. When did she get so damn strong? It was no matter though, the protection frenzy I was in was far stronger than anything at the moment. I grabbed her arm and ripped of the binding in one fluid motion.

I had stopped moving. Bella stopped moving as well, she was staring up at my face in terror and agony. I couldn't think or move.

"Alice? Alice you need to get off of Bella so I can treat her wounds." Carlisle couldn't see what I was seeing. Every part of me felt like screaming in pain. Bella had regained her ability to move, and pushed my lifeless body off of her.

"I- I'm sorry." She whispered, and then left quietly. Esme and Carlisle were too transfixed on my state of being to stop her. There were so many things I wish I could do besides sit here like a statue. I wanted to call out to her, clutch her body to my chest and never let it go, and cry until I physically could not anymore. But it was stuck. My whole world had come to an abrupt stop.