Chapter 32: Ride Out the Storm
Alice POV:
I ran into the house at full speed in mate protection mode. Esme grabbed me abruptly before I had gotten to the stairs.
"Esme what-?"
"Alice you can't go barging in there like that! You'll scare the poor girl to death!" She scolded me. Right. I probably need to reign myself in a little. Esme was holding a tea cup and small towel in her hand. Obviously she was on her way to give Bella some tea and try and comfort her. "She's been running a slight fever. For her I mean." She said noticing where my eyes were. The towel she was holding had just been soaked in what I assumed was cool water. Bella already had a naturally high temperature from being a wolf, so I'm sure she was burning up with a fever.
"May I?"
"Of course." She handed me the mug and the hand towel. I took a deep breath so I wouldn't appear frazzled, then walked up to my room.
Bella was laying on her side with her back facing the door. Her breath was slightly uneven and I could see her faintly shaking. Oh Bella. I'm so sorry. I approached the bed slowly and ran my hand lightly through her hair. She didn't respond with the usual content sigh or purr, or even turn to look at me.
"Bella, I'm so sorry. But I'm here ok? I'm going to make it better. I promise." She still didn't move. So I took a risk and crawled into bed with her, pressing my body against hers. Esme was right, she did have a fever. I started to lay butterfly kisses on the back of her neck, telling her I was there for her. Suddenly, she started shaking uncontrollably and I heard small sobs. "Bella shhhhhhh. I'm here. It's going to be ok. Please. Let me take your pain away. Let me take it away. I'll make it go away." I placed my head on top of the side of hers, trying to calm her down. We stayed there for hours while I held her and whispered loving words in her ear. I was her anchor in the storm of memories that haunted her mind. Eventually she pulled through and her shaking finally ceased.
"Thank you." Bella whispered weakly. I kissed the top of her head and snuggled back into her neck.
"Don't thank me. I was just doing my job." A feeble smile crossed her face. Her fever had lessened but was still there, and her face was quite pale. "I'll go get you something to eat. You need your strength."
"No I'm not hungry." She stopped me as I was about to get up.
"Bella."
"I'm not. Please just stay with me?" I was divided. On one hand she looked absolutely dreadful and hadn't eaten since this morning, which she threw up. But on the other hand I couldn't leave her. Not again. Especially not when she was asking me to stay.
"Of course." I settled myself back down against her.
Bella only had a few small nightmares throughout the night which pleased and surprised me. I was worried it would be a ruthless night considering the day. The moment she woke up I kissed her nose and propped myself up.
"Alright you. I'm getting you breakfast before Esme pounds down the door." Bella let out a small laugh but didn't protest this time. As predicted, Esme was waiting in the kitchen with an enormous amount of food. She cooked a lot when she was worried.
"How is she? Is she hungry? Do you need Carlisle to see her?"
"No Esme she's fine. She's doing a lot better thank you for all your help. I just came down to get her some breakfast."
"Yes yes, of course." She brought out a tray and piled on some food and beverages.
"Not too much Esme. I don't want to intimidate her. I just got her to agree to eat."
"Right yes." She finished and handed me the tray. It looked like my siblings were headed out for school. Rosalie gave me a reassuring smile and nod before leaving. I needed to give her a proper thank you later, especially after I yelled at her before.
Bella ate in silence as I watched her. She had gotten used to me watching her while she was eating. Once she was finished, I cleared the tray and studied her closely. She looked much better, the color was back in her face.
"Feel better?"
"Yes thank you." She looked around at the clock in my room. "Oh shouldn't we get going? We're going to be late for school."
"No we're not going to school today. Carlisle cleared everything. I just want you to relax today. And since today is Friday we can have you all better for the weekend."
The rest of the day was peaceful and pleasant. We played some chess, Bella beat me with no effort three times and then obviously let me win the last one. Then we went to the beach for a run. Bella 'accidentally' pushed me into the water, so I retaliated by tackling her into the wet sand. I was immensely relieved that she was feeling better and back to her old self. We spent Saturday and Sunday playing games with the family and reading together on the couch. All in all it was a pretty good weekend.
A Couple Weeks Later
Bella was on another mission again this weekend so I was out hunting to keep my mind occupied. It still frightened me to know she was in imminent danger especially, when I wasn't there to protect her. But I trusted her, which is why I'm hunting of course. With Bella gone however, my visions returned in full, so I knew Rose would be approaching me soon.
"Hey Rose." I called to her as she came up behind me.
"How're you doing?" Pretty sure Rose was my unofficial relationship counselor. She seemed to know everything.
"I'm alright. Thank you. I just miss her right now. You know, mate stuff." She nodded understandingly. It was difficult to not be near your mate for long periods of time. While a weekend away was not that long, our relationship was still pretty new and everything was heightened.
"Right. Well don't worry. She'll be back soon. Oh! Before I forget, Jasper said he caught whiff of some nomads passing through last time he went hunting. So just be on the lookout." I nodded and sat on a nearby rock. "You love her don't you?"
"Of course." Her question took me by surprise.
"But you haven't said it yet, have you?" My eyes fell downcast and I shook my head no. I knew I loved her and I even knew that Bella loved me, I think, but no we hadn't said the words out loud. While I was ready, I wanted to keep my promise to Bella about her being in control of our relationship. So I was waiting patiently. It really didn't bother me that much, as long as Bella felt comfortable and unrushed. Rosalie nodded again and sat down next to me on the rock.
"I don't want to push her."
"Something tells me that's not the only thing you don't want to push."
"Are you the mind reader now?" She laughed in amusement to my surprise at her spot on statement.
"Well?"
"I don't know Rose. It's kind of personal." While I did want someone to talk to about it, it was about intimacy in the bedroom and I wasn't sure about telling Rosalie.
"Come on Alice. Who are you talking to? How many times have I come to you with Emmett problems?"
"Yeah some I could have gone without hearing!" We both chuckled lightly but Rosalie returned her scrutinizing stare down of me. "Alright fine." I sighed, trying to figure out where to begin. "Well it's just Bella has intimacy issues."
"Ok you're going to have to be a little clearer."
"Um, well there are just some things that she can do for me, but I can't do for her…" I said hoping she got what I meant. Rosalie furrowed her eyebrows thinking for a few seconds.
"You mean….?" Her eyes widened in disbelief as I nodded, biting my lip. "Really? Wow."
"No it's not that bad! I just feel as though she's not enjoying it as much as I am, which she says isn't true when I tell her. But it still makes me feel, I don't know, guilty? Liam said she'll be able to eventually, but I didn't think eventually would be this long. And of course now I feel guilty that I'm telling you all this." Rose listened patiently while I vented.
"Alice don't feel guilty. Everyone needs someone to talk to. Have you tried talking to Carlisle about this?"
"Oh god no! I can't go to him with this!" The very thought made me cringe.
"He is a doctor Al. I think you two need to talk to someone together about it. Maybe it's something mental. I don't know. But you can't just ignore it." Of course she was right, but it still made me uncomfortable. "Strange….." She whispered more to herself.
"What's strange?"
"No it's nothing. Just thinking. I've never heard of this kind of problem, unless…." Now she appeared to be deep in thought and was shaking her head back and forth.
"Unless what? What?" It was concerning me.
"Nothing. Nothing. Look let's go back. It's getting late." We both got up and walked back to the house, Rosalie was still acting strange and muttering things much too low for me to hear. It was making me feel uneasy. But all thoughts of apprehension left my mind when I saw Bella's car in the driveway when we arrived home.
"Bella!" I called out loudly, sniffing the air for my mate. She appeared from around the backyard with a wide grin on her face and I ran full force at her, tackling her to the ground with a hug. She kissed me hungrily.
"Missed you too." She chuckled as I pulled her up off the ground after our passionate reunion kiss.
"I missed you the most Bella!" Emmett came running out of the house and tackled my mate once again.
"What is this? Kill Bella's bones day?" She groaned out with humor while I picked her up again. Her eyes had dark circles around them like usual when she came back from assignments.
"Okay! Are we done with greeting everyone? Yes? Can we head back to your place?"
"Damn Alice! Bella what have you done with my innocent sister? All she thinks about is sex now!" Emmett let out a booming laugh at my eagerness. I missed her ok? Rosalie gave me a knowing smile and then winked while I dragged Bella back into her car so we could go home.
"I really did miss you." I told her while we were driving. She squeezed my hand and turned to me with love in her eyes.
"I know."
A/N: Whew that took time to write. I got some major writer's block in the middle there.
Ok so I'm going to be traveling for the next several days and I don't know if I'll be able to write or post during that time. But no worries it's only for Easter weekend. And I swear I will try my best to write and update if I can. That's a promise. Thank you all for reading and making me smile on the daily!