A/N: The humanity switch comes from Vampire Diaries and I'm borrowing it. This story is about to pick up real fast. Unfortunately I will be traveling again this weekend. There's nothing to do where I live. You'd understand if you knew where. But no worries I will be writing as much as I can. It's a long ways away but I've actually already written the final chapter and I can't wait to get there. Anyways, I'll shut up now. Enjoy. :)

Chapter 45: Those Few Seconds

Bella POV:

Everything was back to being perfect. Alice and I were better than ever. I kept up my promise by telling her what I could, and it made us both much closer. The sex has been amazing. There was a week where she had switched to skirts and dresses for easier access, but she had to go back to jeans and pants when it just turned me on all the time. There was a lot of groping during that week. At least when she was in pants I could control myself a little better. Not much though.

We spent almost every afternoon at her place, cozied up on the couch reading. Then half my nights were at my place, and half were at hers. Esme and Alice had gotten me back to my healthy state with their constantly feeding me. Really everything was falling into place well.

"So Bells, how many people did you sleep with before Alice here?"

"Emmett!" Alice yelled at him from her position in my lap.

"Ah come on! Big brothers need to know these things." I chuckled when Alice threw her current book at his head. "Fine! I'll leave! Just real quick, have you guys ever-?"

"GET OUT EMMETT!" He laughed manically and then left up to his room.

"Bella? How many people have you been with?"

"Really Alice? Is that what you want to do today?" She hesitated and then shook her head.

"No. You're right. It doesn't matter." I went back to reading my book. "But no. You know my number. How come I can't know yours?" I looked at her questioningly again. She seemed to be having an internal battle about if she wanted to know or not.

"Alice if you really want to know I'll tell you. But it's up to you."

"Ummm. No. Wait yes. No!" I started to laugh at her indecisiveness. She continued to go back and forth as I kissed the top of her head lovingly.

"Bella I got that book you wanted to read." Jasper came in during Alice's struggle. I had asked him about a book I wanted to read on World War II a while back. It was part of my plan to read all the good books on famous wars to study tactics and strategies. Jasper had highly recommended this one.

"Oh yes Jasper thank you. One second. I'll be right back love." Alice nodded as I got up. She went to go get the book she had flung across the room earlier. Jasper led me to his room. It really captured his personality. Modest and a little old country. "Really thank you again Jasper. I've been looking for this one for a while."

"It's no problem Bella." He smiled genuinely.

"Did you ever serve in this war?" I was curious, I knew he was human during the civil war, and he loved being a soldier. The way he talked about it, it made him proud.

"Um no. I wanted to. But there was um, too much blood." I nodded understandingly. Poor Jasper has had the worst journey to self-control.

"Right. I'm sorry." I went to go back toward the couch, but he stopped me.

"Uh Bella, can I ask you a question?"

"Yeah of course Jasper. What's up?"

"How do you do it? You control yourself so well." I sighed, expecting this question from him eventually.

"It's a little different for you than it is for me. I'm not full vampire. When I was, there was no control to be had." He sat down disappointed. He had hoped there was a certain secret to my success. I felt horrible and sat down next to him. "Look, I'm going to tell you something that I've only told Alice. The only reason why I'm like this right now is because I gave up. I was trying to end it, make the killing and thirst stop. But of course my wolf had other ideas. If that didn't happen, I probably would have flipped the switch."

"Bella-" I held a hand up to stop him. Talk about turning off humanity made people uncomfortable. For a reason of course. If a vampire turned off their humanity, there was no stopping them. That's actually why the Volturi was created in the first place. So many vampires had flipped the switch because they were tired of living. It was not something to take lightly.

"If I hadn't had this other being inside of me, there would not have been a single person who was safe. So what you're doing amazes me. I could not do the animal diet for the life of me. Please don't ever think of yourself as weak." Jasper gave me a watery smile, his eyes had filled with tears.

"Thank you Bella." He gave me an awkward hug. We parted nicely and I returned to the couch where Alice was situated.

"You are the most wonderful person." She whispered when I positioned myself behind her again.

"You heard all that?"

"Maybe." She turned around and nuzzled into my neck. "I love you so much."

"I love you too."

"Hey Bella would you like your eggs over easy or over medium?"

"Uh over medium please. Thank you love." I leaned down to kiss her as I continued to get ready for school. Today was Friday, the weekend was in view and I was excited about spending more time with Alice. We were planning our Biloxi trip for some time in the next few weeks.

"Don't forget your English essay. It's on the coffee table."

"Oh right. Thank you." She finished breakfast and put a plate on the table right after I zipped up my backpack.

"Breakfast is served."

"You are a saint."

"Hmmmmm. Maybe. We'll see about that after school today." She whispered into my ear in a sultry tone. I swallowed hard. But before I could make a move and eventually cause us to be late for school, my cell interrupted the moment.

"Swan speaking."

"Hey Bella it's Colt."

"Oh hey Chief. What's up?"

"Nothing too serious really. Just some Volturi guards are moving around a bit. It could be a sign of something more, but we don't think so. Anyways, I'm just calling to see if you could make it over next weekend for some briefings on it. We're going to update intelligence on all the whereabouts of the vampires we know about."

"Oh yeah yeah. I think I can do that."

"Sounds good to me. See you then." He hung up and I looked to Alice, who had heard everything.

"It's not dangerous. I'm sorry babe but I have to go."

"Don't be silly. I know. Just be careful."

"Always am." Woah that was weird. Was I turning into Charlie? Alice kissed my head as I finished eating. Sadly we made it to school on time with no delays or pit stops. "I'll see you at lunch." She pouted when we parted, but it was Friday. There was something to look forward to.

The school day went by fast, and before I knew it I was back at the Cullen house, playing video games with Emmett.

"You suck Emmett. You have all night to practice while I sleep. How do you still suck so bad?"

"Shut up Bella. I'm busy all night with Rosie, keeping my girl satisfied." There was a loud smack as Rosalie hit the back of his head.

"Bella when you're done with Emmett, can we play battleship?"

"You sure you wanna lose again Jasper?"

"My girl kicks ass." Alice laughed across the room from her armchair. I couldn't argue with that. I did kick ass.

"DAMMIT BELLA!" Emmett jumped up as I shot his character for the win. "You are cheating somehow! I just know it!" I stood up to put the controller away, laughing.

"Just face it Emmett. You-" Bang!

There was an earsplitting sound and something hard hit my chest. I knew this feeling. I looked down and put my hand on my torso. Pulling it away, I saw my hand was covered in blood.

There's a strange few seconds after you get shot in the chest, where your heart sputters trying to pump, not knowing what hit it. But you're still aware of everything around you. I looked up at Alice, who appeared to be clutching her chest as well, staring at me in fear. There were so many things I wanted to say, but nothing came out. There was no sound. The only thing I could hear was the stammering of my heart, and the last effort it made to keep going. And then there was nothing.