Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight

A/N:

Italics = Dream/Nightmares, day dreaming, or memories. You'll be able to tell

Fall upon your knees, sing:

"This is my body and soul here"

Crawl and beg and plead, sing:

"You've got the power and control here

Don't pin it all on me

Don't pin it all on me!"

Chapter 2: Blame

Alice POV:

"Hey sleepy head." Bella groaned lazily as I nuzzled deep into her neck. "It's time to get up."

"But I don't want to go. Can't we just stay in bed all day?"

"Hmmmm… While tempting, I don't think Carlisle would write a note to excuse his daughter from school so she could have sex all day instead." I giggled out and Bella grunted, rolling away from me. "Come on my sleepy wolf. You know I'll get you up one way or another…" I scooted back over and spooned her from behind, blowing lightly on her ear. It only took a few minutes of my torture for her to give up.

"Alright fine! You are so damn lucky I love you." I laughed and gave her a kiss as she got up to get ready.

"Oh I know I am."

"Alice? Can I come in?" A knock on my door jolted me from my day dream. I was still curled up on the bed, clutching one of Bella's shirts that was positively coated in her scent. "Alice?" The voice called again and I recognized it as Zoey's.

"You can come in." I sat up and tried to straighten myself up, but it was no use. Not only was I too far gone for repair, but I really didn't care anymore.

"Hey." Zoey said gently as she walked in and placed herself on the bed with me.

"Any news?"

"No. Liam said they're contacting all their vampire leads to see if someone knows anything. Carlisle is calling a few of his old friends as well." I nodded in disappointment. "Um I actually came here to give you something." She pulled Bella's dog tags out of her hand and went to give them to me.

"Oh no Zoey. She gave those to you."

"Yes but I know she wanted me to give them to you. Alice please?" She placed them in my hand as I looked away, I couldn't bear to see. I knew if I looked down it would seem final somehow. Zoey sensed my turmoil and wrapped me in a warm hug. "I'm so sorry." I didn't respond, I was incapable at the moment. Finally giving up, I glanced down to my hand holding the tags still covered in Bella's dried blood. So much for not crying today.

"Don't you ever be sorry Zoey. Bella did what she had to do knowing what it would possibly lead to. But that's Bella, she loves you so much and would do it all over again." I held her as we continued to cry, still staring at my mate's name etched in the metal. Of course she knew what would happen. And of course she still went anyways, that was what she did.

"She looked at you right before she left. I think she was promising you she would come back as well."

"She will. I have no doubt in my mind that Bella will be back with us. Our little wolf is a hard headed woman." We both let out watery laughs. Yes she was my stubborn wife, and the thing she was most determined about was me. No I wasn't worried.

A while later Colt came quietly into my room with a somber expression on his face. Liam was trailing him close behind and Zoey got up to greet him silently.

"Alice would you mind coming with us? There's something you should see." I was confused but followed him willingly. I didn't have the effort to refuse or ask what it was about. He led us back into the control room that I was in ages ago. Instead of the usual groups of tables handling different jobs, there was one giant cluster gathered around a map of the globe. They were all taking notes and had headsets on talking to other lines. It made me feel reassured that all these resources were being used to find my Bella.

"Is this what I need to see?"

"No." Colt continued to move us towards his desk where Carlisle was already seated. "We've recovered the security footage from the hallway near Carlisle's office. I thought it would be best to ask if you wanted to watch it with us first." I hesitated after the initial shock of his words. Did I want to see this? It would most likely hurt me in some way, but it was also the last video we had of Bella.

"Yes. I do." He nodded and pulled out his chair for me as the others grabbed spare ones. I trembled nervously, waiting for the video feed to start.

It was silent footage, I watched on edge at the currently empty hallway. The walls shook from where I'm sure the bomb went off and several people went through with guns to help combat the breach. For most of the time, the fighting seemed to be far down the hall and away from where we all were. Carlisle ran through at one point, I'm sure to aid a yelling Bella. I tensed even further in my seat, the worst would be coming soon. Eventually Bella came running through and I let out an involuntary gasp. Liam leaned over and held my hand for support.

She was running frantically for Carlisle's office, and once she got there the door wouldn't budge. She didn't have a key. I heard Carlisle mutter a small fuck as his realization. But Bella just continued on, smashing his office window with her elbow to gain entry. Quick on her feet, even with a nasty injury. She entered his office and exited not much later with his bag in her hand.

It was strange, I knew the outcome but still wanted to scream at her to run faster. She looked down at one end of the hall and then the other, running towards her goal with a hand clutching her bleeding side. She was obviously in extreme pain, I could see all the blood on her clothes, some dripping down to the floor. Abruptly, a few masked individuals broke through the lines and started firing shots at my mate.

Bella was quick, she dodged several of the raining bullets. But finally one succeeded in hitting her left leg, bringing her to the ground. The masked men were closing in slowly on their prey, one even took off his cover cockily. It was Felix. I growled angrily when he shot Bella's other leg just for fun. Maybe I shouldn't have watched this.

Demetri took off his mask now and was giving orders to the others, most likely for them to get a hold of Bella. But my little wolf had other ideas. She grabbed the first one who approached her and removed his head. That's my girl. She continued to fight hard until Felix finally got a hold of her neck. Bella threw Carlisle's bag behind her with all the strength she had left over. Felix said something to her that we couldn't hear, and then he snapped her neck.

I sat there in silence with everyone as we watched them drag her lifeless body away. Part of me was upset that I just witnessed all that, but the other part was happy. Bella fought to the very end, and that made me proud. She even thought to throw the bag closer to Carlisle, knowing she wouldn't make it there.

"Thank you for letting me watch that." I whispered quietly and got up to leave the room. I wanted some alone time again. It was already hell enough to go through the day's motions without Bella, but impossible to do so without her scent to calm me every once in a while.

I laid back down on our bed and snuggled her shirt, crying softly into it. Another knock went through my door and Rosalie let herself in. She sat down and pulled me into her lap letting me cry on her. She ran her fingers through my hair in a comforting manner, I even felt her shudder a few sobs.

"I'm so sorry Alice. I should have heard that bomb."

"Rose stop." I sat up suddenly annoyed. "Why is everyone blaming themselves? There was an entire room full of people with supernatural hearing in there, and only one person heard it. If there's one thing I've learned from Bella, it is that the only people at fault here are the Volturi. So can you please tell everyone that? I'm tired of hearing I'm sorry from people who shouldn't be feeling guilty." Rosalie stayed silent while I lectured, but nodded after I was done.

"You're right. Thank you. Bella would be yelling at us wouldn't she?" She said trying to lighten the mood slightly. I let out a weak laugh, but positioned myself back in her lap and continued my weeping. "Yeah I know. Just let it out. It'll make you feel better. A little I guess." She let me cry to my heart's content, until finally I was sick of it.

"Thanks Rose." I got up from her lap and fixed her outfit that I ruined. "Is Jasper back yet?" My poor brother had to leave with all the pain going on around him. I think he went on an extended hunting trip alone.

"No. Edward thinks it might be a few more days until he returns."

"Is Emmett ok this time?" I still remember his reaction to finding out about Bella's rape. He had gone ballistic and tried to find and murder the Volturi with Jasper.

"He's contained if that's what you're asking. But no, I don't think anyone is ok." Right, obviously. Rosalie rubbed my shoulder a bit, but I wanted my alone time again.

"Rose would you mind? I just need some space right now."

"Of course." She got up and gave me one last hug before leaving me with my thoughts.

I was really craving Bella right now. She always knew how to make me feel better. The worst part was what I knew. I knew what she was going through right now and it made me nauseous. Of course if Bella were here, she'd tell me it wasn't that bad and it was nothing she couldn't handle. Her gentle voice would soothe me, and her nimble fingers would caress my cheek. I could practically feel and see her now. Her charming smile that made me feel as though there wasn't anything really that evil in the world. But she was wrong. There was something that horrible, and they were the ones that made her.

"Ok then. Generally speaking, why would you have not known what to do if I had been killed?"

That kiss that turned my skin into fire and every nerve alight. I imagined her lips were still on mine just like that. Her breath breezing across my face as she held me in our embrace.

"That's why."

I regrettably pulled out of my small day dream and clutched onto her shirt and necklace tighter, whispering shaky words into the silence of the night.

"Please come back to me. I need you. Now more than ever. Please Bella. I love you. Always."

A/N: Side note- I just watched Avengers Infinity War and it ripped out half my fucking heart. I feel a little personally victimized by that movie. But I have to say, it was absolutely amazing. So if you haven't seen it please do. As always, thank you for reading!