Now here I go again, I see the crystal visions

I keep my visions to myself

It's only me, who wants to wrap around your dreams

Have you any dreams you'd like to sell?

Dreams of loneliness,

Like a heartbeat, drives you mad

In the stillness of remembering, what you had,

And what you lost and what you had and what you lost

Chapter 17: Sticks and Stones

Bella POV:

"What did I say about conditioning?" Alice was furiously running her hands through my hair, unsurprisingly complaining.

"I did! I used that fancy shit you got!"

"Yes but you didn't use it right. I swear, you're quite helpless sometimes."

"You drive me insane." I mumbled while she worked diligently.

"That's my job as your wife. Now, keep still." After about thirty minutes, Alice seemed satisfied with her work and let me go change while she cleaned up.

"Feel better?"

"Much. Thank you." Without warning, I pulled her into my lap and claimed her mouth with mine, swiping my tongue along her bottom lip until she allowed me in. The kiss continued on for several long and heated minutes, until I pressed her hips down further into me. "Bella… No." Almost as quickly as it started, Alice pushed off of me and left me flustered and alone.

"Alice…." I whined pathetically, she ruined my fun.

"No. I told you slow. You can't just grab and kiss me like that. It'll make things worse for you."

"I don't care."

"Well I do!" She stomped around the room in a fit of age. "God, you're so fucking frustrating sometimes! And I love you, but you're driving me up the wall!"

"Woah hey! Shhhh. I was only joking." I caught her mid stomp and hugged her tightly, not letting up until I heard a small sigh of relief from her. "Besides, isn't that my job as your wife?" There was a tiny tinkling giggle at my joke before she playfully shoved me away.

"Shut up. Get in bed."

"You're the boss lady."

"Can I get you anymore painkillers? More ice?"

"No I'm good. It feels better with your hand rather than the ice though. Ice melts." Alice chuckled and made her way back from the kitchen to our bed.

I had thrashed around a little too violently from a nightmare and ended up giving myself a black eye when I head butted the side table. Really it was more embarrassing than anything else, but Alice went into full nurse mode taking care of the small cut of the side of my eye it caused as well.

The part about her hand feeling better was true. Unfortunately my extreme body heat pretty much turned ice into liquid in record fast time, leaving me with useless water everywhere. Alice's hands were the perfect temperature and never left me with that problem. Plus there was the added benefit of her caressing my face gently every once in a while. Maybe I am a pampered domestic house dog….

"Are you sure you don't want me to call Carlisle? What if it needs stitches?" My little worry wart returned to me and cupped the side of my face in her hand, instantly relieving any pain I might have had.

"Alice if I need stitches for this tiny little cut, please divorce me and find a person worthy of your love." She dazzled me with a smile and kissed my nose.

"I would never."

"Besides, it's already bad enough that everyone's going to see this shiner tomorrow morning. I don't need any more embarrassment for the day." Alice giggled again, then her face took a somber turn.

"I'm sorry love. I was about to wake you, but you got away from me. I'm sorry I let you get hurt, I'm not doing my job."

"Ugh. Please stop talking about me like I'm a full time job. It makes me feel worse." I know she didn't mean it that way, but it still made me feel idiotic and useless.

"You're right. I'm sorry again." She moved her head down to rest on my chest while still keeping her hand in place on my injury. "You are the greatest thing to ever happen to me, and it's a privilege just to spend time with you."

"Well, there's no need to be sappy." I yawned at the end of my sentence which prompted Alice to snuggle even further into me.

"Go back to sleep love. I promise to keep the rest of your face intact tonight." I grunted, not having the energy to laugh for real, and faded back to sleep holding my favorite vampire pillow.

"Jesus Bella. If Alice hit you I'll beat her ass, you know I will."

"Thanks for the offer Rose, but this was a wound of my own stupidity. Besides, it makes me look sexy. No?" Alice laughed and wrapped around my side as we walked into the Cullen home. Of course my face had been the first thing anyone noticed.

"Yes. You're positively dashing my dear." She looked up at me with nothing but pure love and adoration in her eyes. I swelled.

"Ewwwwww!" Emmett my tormenter appeared with a huge grin on his face. Shit. "Woah Bells. You gotta stop walking into trees little sis."

"Alice!" I cried out in betrayal.

"Rose!" She yelled at her and immediately went to apologize to me. "I only told Rosalie in passing yesterday. I didn't know she'd tell him! And joke's on you Emmett, this was not caused by the tree. It was a table."

"Oh my god. Alice stop talking." She looked completely horrified at what she'd done as I dragged her away before any more damage could be done. Rosalie and Emmett were in fits of laughter.

"I'm so sorry. That was… um I'm just sorry."

"It's alright. But you gotta know when to stop talking babe."

"I know. It's my weakness. I babble, I'm a babbler."

"No way. I had no idea."

"Oh stop being a pain. Come on, Carlisle awaits." She smiled and I groaned at the upcoming session with my most persistent doctor.

Today was blood day.

Ever since my switch to a human food diet, they've kept me away from any human interaction. Luckily my family consisted of a bunch of vampires and a shifter. But I missed Zoey, and they won't let me work again until I'm in complete control. Which is understandable, but it still sucks.

So today Carlisle was going to test me with blood bags, eventually making our way up to a real living breathing human. I hoped the training wouldn't last too long, but I knew my thirst was not in check.

"Good afternoon you two. Oh Bella, what happened to your eye?" Ugh.

"Hey Carlisle. It was nothing. Bella just had a small fight with the bedside table and lost." I glared at Alice as she spoke, but she shrugged. "Well how else would you word it?" I rolled my eyes and ignored the question. Carlisle got the point anyways, and he luckily didn't continue with the inquiry.

"Alright then, moving on. So Bella, you know what we'll be doing today correct?" I quietly nodded my confirmation. "Good. I'm going to show you a blood bag, and depending on your initial reaction, I may advance to opening it and watch your reaction." My mouth was already watering at the thought and I forced myself to swallow it down. Focus. "Alice and I will be ready to grab you in case you lose control. And I have plenty of sedatives if worse comes to light, but I really don't think we'll be needing them. I won't continue any observations unless I feel you're fully in control."

"Ok. Sounds good. I mean not good, but, you know what I mean." He smiled kindly and motioned for Alice to step slightly away from me.

"Ready?" He looked to both of us. Alice responded verbally, but I merely nodded again. I didn't particularly trust my mouth being open right now.

Carlisle carefully leaned down and reached inside a cooler, pulling out the bag whilst keeping his eyes locked on mine. Immediately I knew they went black. My body was in control still however, and I didn't move an inch. The bag was practically staring at me, begging to be drained. I had to swallow numerous times to prevent me from drooling like a dog. Several minutes went by before I realized someone was trying to talk to me.

"Bella? Bella? Can you hear me?" Finally Alice's voice reached my ears. I didn't have the will to look away from the blood and meet her eyes, but I nodded for her. "Ok good. You're doing great. Do you think you could look at either Carlisle or I?" I shook my head. My control was now wavering pretty thin, my heart was pounding in my ears, wishing it was a real human's heart I could hear right now.

Almost right before I snapped, Carlisle put the bag back in the cooler just as slowly as he got it out, careful not to trigger an attack from me. The second the blood was gone I took a deep breath, clearing my head instantly.

"Sorry." I mumbled shyly, that was a failure.

"Don't be love. You did really well."

"Alice is right Bella. You kept control. Now, take a few minutes to recuperate and we'll go again." I groaned and Alice went back to me for the few minutes we had. She ran her hands all over my side and back, trying to loosen any muscles that had gone stiff in the experiment. All too soon, Carlisle was calling us to get ready again.

I knew a little more of what to expect this time, I think my eyes maybe didn't go as dark. Time ticked by as I stared at the bag, drawing my breaths in quick short bursts.

"Do you want to try looking at Alice?" I clenched my teeth at Carlisle's question, but decided to give it a try. Snapping my head up sharply to where she stood, it was easier if it was done fast, no time to debate in my mind. Alice gasped in surprise from my sudden movement, but smiled sweetly at me.

All my thirst melted away. Things like blood and feeding didn't matter, not when I was staring at the most beautiful woman in the world. Forgetting my surroundings, I rushed to her front and pressed my body into hers, kissing her hungrily. Maybe that's where my thirst went. A flash of fear crossed her face when I lunged at her, but she moaned quite pleasantly into my mouth when I had her. My hunger deepened when I caught the musk of a familiar smell. My mate's arousal. Sadly she started pushing me away, fruitlessly though. I was now in a vampire frenzy just for her. Her mouth, her taste.

Someone pulled me from behind and I growled at the intruder. How dare they interrupt my moment? The combined pushing from Alice and pulling from the stranger eventually pulled me away from her. Now I was pissed.

"BELLA NO!" A voice I recognized rang through my ears. It was gentle and formal, but obviously strained and worried at the moment. I knew that voice. Carlisle.

"Oh fuck. Fuck I am so sorry. Alice are you alright?" My poor wife was still pressed against the wall, biting her lip, multiple emotions all over her face. Fear, annoyance, anger, arousal, and a lot of embarrassment. I'd have been mortified as well if I wasn't so worried about her. I almost just fucked her in front of her father. And I'm sure Carlisle sensed what she was feeling below the belt.

"Y-yeah. I-I'm fine." She finally breathed out, stepping away from the wall and shaking.

"Ok. Well that was interesting." Alice and I both let out nervous laughs with Carlisle's obvious statement. "It seems as though with Alice's presence, your thirst for blood disappears, but it is replaced with something almost as uncontrollable." He motioned for the both of us to sit.

"Yeah. You could say that." I said while still eyeing Alice worriedly. I hoped she wasn't afraid of me. Almost as if reading me mind, she took my hand and kissed it.

"Really, I'm all good now Bella. I was just jittery earlier from the situation." Relief washed over me with her words.

"I'm quite torn now." Carlisle started, interrupting our moment and staring at the two of us. "While Alice's presence helped you, I'm not sure it's the best remedy. How would you feel about Rosalie taking her place instead?"

"Carlisle!" Alice immediately protested, but I squeezed her hand to stop her.

"Alice baby, it may be a good idea. I mean, do you really want to repeat that?" The dirty part of me wanted to grin and have her say 'hell yeah', but the more rational part, the part I really hated sometimes, knew her answer would and should be a no.

"Argh no. But I don't want to leave you. I promised to stay by your side through this."

"I know, but sometimes things need to change in order for the best." She looked upset but sighed and got up to leave the room, kissing my head on the way out.

Rosalie entered the room about a minute later and Carlisle filled her in on everything Alice hadn't. I sat patiently until they were ready for me, wishing this session was over already.

"Ok. Stand up Bells, game time." Rosalie appeared to be readying herself to fight me, that didn't help my state of mind. Carlisle glanced at me briefly before taking out that stupid fucking bag again.

I will admit in his defense, with each time he brought it out, I did seem to be slightly better at my control. It took me less time to chance a look up at Rosalie. While Alice's company turned me on, Rosalie's scared the shit out of me. She was staring me down like a hawk, but my thirst was definitely still there.

"You're doing amazing Bella. Now this next step will probably be the hardest. I want you to take a deep breath in with your mouth." Had Carlisle lost his fucking mind? I turned my gaze to him and gave him my most pleading look in response. But he just stood there waiting.

So if I took the breath, I'd most likely lose all control I had left and try to get the blood. But once that was over, I'd be done for the day. And if I continued to stand here and not chance it, I'd be here for perhaps hours. This was not a pleasant decision.

Throwing all caution to the wind, I opened my mouth and took a deep breath. Well, half breath. Once I got the small taste in my mouth, it was over.

Rosalie tackled me in an instant, throwing us both into one of the chairs. Carlisle hastily put the bag away and went to help with the struggle. After a minute or so of fighting, the air had cleared and so had my mind. But I now had a searing pain in my side.

"Ow. Fuck Rose. Did you have to tackle me so hard?"

"Would you rather have fallen off the blood wagon?" She too seemed to be sore, now I felt sorta bad.

"No. Sorry. Are you alright?"

"It's all good. I knew what I was signing up for when I went in here." Carlisle went over to get some medical supplies while Rosalie got up gingerly.

"Rosalie you should probably go hunt." She nodded and went to leave. "Oh, could you send in Alice on your way out?"

"God she's going to kill me for hurting her precious baby."

"Hey!" I called defensively as she closed the door. I was not a baby.

Alice was apparently waiting right near the door and came in seconds later, rushing to my side and fussing over me.

"What happened? Why is the chair broken? Are you hurt? Carlisle is she hurt?" He chuckled at her overprotectiveness and went back to examining me.

"I pushed her over the edge, right where I was expecting. But she recovered quite well. And Rosalie doesn't have the best aim when tackling people into furniture." Alice growled darkly and I rubbed her hip.

"She needed to Al. If she hadn't stopped me I would have gotten to it."

"Still. I don't like you getting hurt."

"Hey. At least she didn't get my good eye right?" Only Carlisle laughed at my joke, Alice merely smiled tightly. "Well, what's the damage Carlisle?" I asked as he got up.

"Four broken ribs and broken clavicle. Only two need to be reset and they all should heal by tomorrow. I'll go get some pain medication." Alice went back to running her hands over my injuries, muttering irritably about them. Carlisle came back and handed me a glass of water with some pills which I took happily. Not that I would admit in front of my overly worried wife, but I was in a considerable amount of pain.

The resetting was fast and predictably painful, and Alice was still wound up when we got back to our place. I slumped onto the bed right away. It had been a long and mentally taxing session, I could use a good nap.

"I'm sorry about earlier today. I probably looked pretty scary." I carefully propped myself up to talk to Alice who had just laid down next to me.

"Kinda. But it was more of a smoldering."

"Smoldering? Hmmm… I don't think you've ever called me that, I like it." She chuckled and kissed my ear.

"You do like to make things difficult for me don't you?"

"It's in my nature." I stifled another yawn and curled into her body to soothe my aching side.

"Go to sleep love, you need it. I'll wake you in a few hours."

A/N: FYI: Rumours is probably one of the greatest albums of all time. I just had to say that. Anyways, I figured you needed a few lighter chapters after everything I've put you through and (sorry) will put you through. A big huge thank you to everyone who has favorited, followed, and reviewed!