We could be born to anything and now, and now
What you have done is terrible
And now, and now
Now you carry it with you
You carry it with you
You carry it with you
Chapter 35: Are You Willing To Take That Risk?
Alice POV
"London."
"We were just there."
"Hawaii?"
"Too secluded."
"Ugh!" I groaned in annoyance at the endless conversation at hand. Bella smiled at me and moved her knight to capture my last pawn. "Would you care to share any ideas?"
"Hmmmm. I don't know. I much prefer watching you struggle." I gave her a death glare and she chuckled as I carefully thought over my next move. "How about Canada?"
"I don't know Bella." I moved my rook a few spaces and continued to strategize. "Aro doesn't seem like he would set up camp in Canada."
"Wouldn't that make it the perfect place for him to hide then?" She rested her chin in the palm of her hand and effortlessly took one of my bishops.
"Not Aro. He's all flash and confidence. Especially now that it's coming down to the end. He knows there's going to be a showdown and he'll want the perfect place. Something gody and ironic." Bella paused for a moment before murdering my game.
"Son of a bitch."
"What are you mad about? You just beat me. Also you're supposed to say check mate Bella."
"No not the game." She stood up and began to pace, something she did when her mind began to reel. Almost as if her body couldn't keep still when she was thinking with so much effort. "Aro." Bella continued her furious pacing and mumbled agitatedly.
"Ok Bells, you gotta spit it out." I had waited patiently for long enough. She released a frustrated growl before slumping back into her chair.
"Forks."
"Forks?" I replied dumbly. "As in Forks, Washington? Why there?"
"Significance." Bella looked purely defeated at this point. I think there was some part of her hoping that this final battle would never come to be. And honestly, I think she was terrified. "Significance to me. Significance to you. Significance to my family, old and new."
"What's wrong? Why does it sound like you've already lost?" I was missing the fire, the soldier in her ready to plan Aro's demise.
"I can't do it Alice."
"What do you mean you can't do it?" I hopped off my chair and onto the ground in front of her, pressing my palms into her knees. "You just singlehandedly killed Caius. How could you not be rearing to go for a taste of Aro's venom."
"What if- what if it all comes down to me? And he's there all defenseless, no guard or anything, but I just can't do it? What if I can't kill my sire?"
"Well, that's what I'm here for."
"But what if you're not?"
"What do you mean? Where am I in this situation?"
"I don't know! What if you're incapacitated somehow and it's up to me to save you? What if-"
"Bella." I interrupted her before she could really start her hypotheticals. "That is one unlikely scenario of about a million possible ones that could unfold. And if it does somehow come down to that, I trust that you would do whatever it takes to save me. That's what you do, remember?"
"But what if-?"
"Stop worrying. You worry too much." I could tell she was frightened, and unfortunately her worry always involved me. Yes I was touched by how much she cared, but she was going to worry herself to death at this rate.
"I only do it because I care." Bella whispered sheepishly. I chuckled and grazed her face with my fingertips.
"I know that. Of course I know that Bells. Most worrying is done out of love. But sometimes you just have to roll with the punches. As you and I both know, we seem to have a habit of planning until it's perfect and then things, well excuse my French, but things go to shit." My swearing brought a slight smirk to her face, but a scowl soon replaced it.
"There is so much at stake." Her eyes watered and I knew she was thinking about her worst case scenario: losing me.
"I know. Trust me, I don't take this lightly." A flash of my very similar worst case scenario went through my head and I had to suppress a shudder. "But we can't be afraid. That's exactly what Aro wants. If we want to beat him, we have to beat his expectations of us."
"There are so many." Luckily we had been together for long enough that I knew what she meant by that. There were a lot of vampires to overcome in this final battle. Most of the guard was still intact.
"Hey, look at me." Whenever Bella became frightened she wouldn't meet my eyes, as if she was afraid I would see the fear in them. Always my protector. Eventually with my gentle coaxing, her dark burgundy orbs met my gold ones. "We can do this. I bet you we can. And you know never to bet against me."
"I love you."
"I know." My nose brushed hers before I pulled myself into her lap and rested my head on her shoulder. "I love you too."
The days of planning went by in a blur, and all too soon the feeling of constant butterflies in my stomach was present again. Yes, we said no extreme planning, but we're not stupid. We needed at least the shell of a strategy before walking into unknown terrors.
"I'm going to throw up." Bella groaned with her head in her hands, her body obviously uncomfortable in the tiny airplane seat.
"Just remember to breathe." I gently reminded her while running a calming hand over her hunched over back. "And stop tugging on your hood. You're drawing more suspicion doing so."
Getting quick false identification documents was already troublesome enough as it was. But Bella's nerves were so bad, I was honestly surprised we were able to board without security thinking we were up to something.
"Try taking your mind off of it." I suggested as she began to shake harder. A dry laugh met my ears and I could tell she was seconds away from a breakdown.
"Taking my mind off of it? How in the hell am I supposed to do that?"
"I don't know." If my calmness was the only thing keeping her sort of sane, I had to maintain it. "How about what you'd like to do first after it's all said and done?"
"No. If I think that way then I curse this whole thing. I'm not thinking about the after until the time comes." The plane bounced with a small bump of turbulence and Bella clutched my hand.
"Are you afraid of flying?" I asked at the sudden movement. All of my experiences of flying with her before flashed through my head, but she was almost always asleep.
"Sorta."
"I never knew that. You've never told me that before, and we've flown a lot." Guilt crept up on me as I realized how much flying I had put her through.
"I don't like to vocalize it that much."
"Well you should! God Bella, I mean we're married and you're still trying to maintain this image of being unbreakable. Please fucking stop that shit." One look at Bella, who must have shrunken down in shame as I lectured, and I immediately felt bad once again. "Shit I'm sorry for the way I said that, we're both under a lot of stress right now. But I stand by it."
"Sorry." There was a slight awkward silence, however I noticed the small fight had caused Bella's nervous shaking to cease. An idea of distraction grew in my head.
"Why are you afraid of flying?"
"I don't know. Ever since I learned how to fly myself. I guess I just know all the things that could go wrong."
"Hmmm. But you like flying yourself? That doesn't freak you out?"
"Well no, cause I'm in –"
"Control." I finished for her. Yeah, I was definitely married to an alpha.
"Um, yeah." Her cheeks flushed and she tugged at the hair on the back of her neck rather self-consciously. "Does that bother you? The fact that I'm like this?" Another bump jolted the plane and she closed her eyes and squeezed my hand even harder.
"No. Because when things get tough, my big alpha squeezes my hand for reassurance." A tense smile made its way to her face.
"Thank you."
"For what?"
"For always knowing when and how to distract me."
Once we landed in Port Angeles it was full steam ahead. Bella and I had a small debate on the drive over about whose house Aro probably chose, mine or hers. However eventually we came to the probable conclusion that he had gone with mine, on account of the fact that he had to house what was left of his guard. Aro may be cocky, a little bit insane even, but he was not senseless. He was going to use every gun he had left.
We decided it was most logical to park about five miles away from the manor and make our way on foot from there. Aro would have most likely sent a few scouts on the grounds to be on the lookout.
Bella and I shared a silent moment when we exited the car. There were a lot of things that could go wrong once we started. I sort of didn't want to go just for that reason. But the time had come, and we both nodded before starting our stealthy hike through the woods.
The deeper we went into the forest, the more apprehensive I became. I mean, there were just two of us. Two of us against at least, seven? I began to count vampires in my head.
Aro, Jane, Felix, Afton, Santiago, Corin, and Renata. But what about the recruiting Aro had been up to? Was that successful? What in the hell were we walking into?
I was an alright fighter, but not nearly as good as Jasper, or even Rosalie. What the fuck are we doing here with no help? Just as I was about to stop Bella and ask to call for back up, she motioned for us to hide behind the nearest tree. Well, there's no going back now.
Afton sat alone, softly humming to himself. Bella craned her neck around the tree to get another good look at the scene, making sure it was him and him alone.
Got the matches? She mouthed to me. I nodded, not knowing how on Earth she was this calm. She gave me a quick head nod before silently jumping on Afton and tearing his head from his body before he had the chance to scream.
I stood there dazed for a moment before remembering my job of fire duty. My hands shook violently as I lit the match and ran to catch up with Bella.
"Alright. Once the fire gets big enough they'll be able smell that something's up. We have to move quickly. Ready?" I wanted to say no. I wanted to knock her out and get us the hell out here, out of any danger. But my mouth betrayed me.
"Yes." Bella smiled briefly before taking off again, this time much faster than before.
About two minutes later we ran into Corin, who right when she heard our presence, went to shout for assistance. However Bella slammed her hand into her mouth right before the sound left her throat. Again another head fell and I struggled to keep up.
"Did she bite you?" I whispered while we jogged closer to my former home.
"Just a graze." Bella shrugged and wiped the blood from her hand onto her pants hastily.
"But the venom?" The sick part of me was hoping this would put a stop in our plans.
"I have a small tolerance remember? The one bright side of being tortured continuously with it."
My stomach felt ill as I suddenly remembered why we were doing this. It wasn't like I forgot, dear lord I never could, but the fear had temporarily blinded me from the truth. Every life we took today was a person that had harmed my mate. Every vampire we slaughtered had a hand in causing the nightmares that plagued my wife's sleep. Every soul we snuffed would never have the chance of hurting anyone ever again. My feet suddenly felt much lighter.
As we approached the house, our pace went back to a creep. We listened intently for any signs of distress.
Renata, Santiago, and a new vampire that I had never seen before stood arguing just outside the front door. It sounded as if they were fighting about the possible smell of a burning vampire nearby.
"I'm telling you, that's not a normal campfire smell!"
"Stop being paranoid. We would have heard if something was awry by now."
"I'm calling Afton."
"Don't disturb him with your hysterics. He doesn't have the patience for such things."
"Just let me call him!"
"Fine!" Bella strained to listen to the ongoing argument while I tuned out to listen for what I really wanted to hear.
"When do you think they'll come?"
"Don't worry Jane my dear. You'll have your revenge for your brother soon enough. I suspect any day now. Carlisle is no fool."
My skin felt jumpy and I tugged on Bella's arm to motion her around the back. She looked momentarily confused, but took faith in me as I lead us.
Taking out Aro and Jane first seemed a much wiser move. Without the guidance of Aro, hopefully the rest would be too confused to fight properly, or maybe even give up. One can only hope. The three in front would also, with any luck, be going on a man hunt soon once Afton and Corin would not pick up their phones. Finally Bella heard Aro and Jane inside as I just had, and realization crossed her face. Realization and, fear?
Yes, it was definitely a brief flash of dread I saw. But it was replaced with a mask of confidence just as quickly as it had come.
Bella pulled her gun and switched the safety off before giving me one last head nod to signal go time.
The breath in my body left as we took those few steps crashing into the house. Bella took aim and pulled one shot out pointed directly at Aro's back. But our luck had run out, and Aro side stepped the shot just as easily as a minor dance maneuver. She moved to tackle him instead, however in a blur of motion I was picked up and slammed against a wall.
"Make one more step 173952, and I kill her." Felix kept a steady hand on my neck, turning me to face the scene unfolding in front of us. Bella made a slight motion to continue, Felix wasn't enough to stop her, but Jane let out a feral snarl.
"And I'll do much worse."
Desperate crimson eyes pleaded with mine, not knowing what to do. I tried to convey composure, but my body betrayed me, shaking uncontrollably. Aro knew that shot was coming much too earlier than he should have. I feared we were being played with, on the losing end of a physiological war, and about to be on the bad end of a physical one as well.
"Tut tut. Where's the rest of the clan?" Aro asked with a gleam of joy covering his face. When neither of us responded, a small frown came over it. "I was really hoping to destroy the entire Cullen coven in one go this evening. But alas, this will do in the meantime."
Aro carefully moved around the room, calculating exactly the spot he needed to be, as if he had rehearsed this numerous times. Bella stood stiff as a statue, unsure of his intentions. Her muscles strained painfully as she fretted for my safety at the moment.
"I have to admit myself impressed with you 173952. Caius was no easy feat, but you've proven yourself worthy of my blood, or shall I say, venom." I growled at his addressment of my wife, but was snuffed by a tighter grip from Felix. It bothered me deeply that Bella had come so accustomed to this behavior from him, not even a flinch was observed from his treatment.
She's not some serial number.
Aro only smiled wider at my reaction to this, loving the way he could manipulate our emotions so easily.
"Even now, I'll confess my astonishment over your quick work of my guard. But my dear, we all know that father knows best." I could not contain my growl of disgust at this.
"What kind of sick father tortures his self-proclaimed daughter with no known mercy?" I shouted before Felix could suppress me once more.
Aro began to approach me, smile never faltering, and studied me under a keen eye. Bella remained rigid, ready to strike if he came too close for her comfort.
"You seem to have plenty opinions to voice little Alice. No need to censor her Felix, let's hear what she's got to say."
I knew it was a trap. I knew I was falling right into his well thought out plan. But in the heat of the moment I could not stop myself. The man I had dreamed of facing for years was finally in front of me, and yes, there were many things I wanted to say to him.
"There is not enough pain in the world that I could wish upon you." I spat viciously in his face. From the corner of my eye I noticed Bella quiver, afraid of Aro's retaliation for my dare to him.
"Just let me kill them already!" Jane finally screamed, as if she was a small child throwing a temper tantrum.
"Relax my dear. Only one will die here today." The sick feeling in my stomach grew exponentially and I could taste venom rising. This grim statement from Aro prompted Bella to speak at last.
"You let her live, and I'll join your guard. Willingly."
"Bella!" I gasped, betrayed by her offer. I would much rather die than watch her join the ranks of the Volturi.
"Not now Alice!"
"I won't let you."
"It's not up to you!"
"Enough squabbling!" Felix had grown annoyed of our argument. However, Aro looked like he could do this all day.
"Oh calm down Felix. I enjoy toying with them." Aro paced around and caressed my face with his knuckles. I couldn't help the grimace that it caused. "Unfortunately, little Alice here is not the one that will die tonight."
"Well go on then. Snap my neck, rip my heart out, whatever you please." Bella growled with no emotion at her impending doom. "I'm the only one here that's really immortal. We both know that I will eventually kill you. Whether it's today, or a hundred years from now, your clock started ticking the second you made me."
"As truly wonderful as that speech was, I'm afraid none of it is true." He paused, building the anticipation as only Aro would do. "Nature cannot create something that cannot die, that would go against everything it is. So everything on this Earth, and that includes you 173952, has a flaw. Something that will cause their time here to end."
Just as a new kind of anxiety began to creep into my chest, one I hadn't felt since my wife was a clumsy human, Bella barked a rather loud laugh.
"I call bullshit."
"Excuse me?" I was taken aback as much as Aro.
"I said I call bullshit. You want to make me afraid. You want me to turn around and stop hunting after you, so you've decided to use fear tactics to keep me away. If you make me think you have some magical way to kill me, you think I'll just leave you be. But I don't play your games anymore." She was right, it was an Aro like thing to do. But there was something there I couldn't trust. He had worked so hard on this plan. Sure he was sadistic, an evil mastermind even, and I wouldn't put it past him to invent some idea of some previously unknown thing killing my mate. But his smile never faltered, and as evil as he was, mastermind is still part of that description.
"You have died many times 173952."
"Yes I have." She quipped, gaining more confidence while mine was plummeting.
"And in very many ways."
"I have you to thank for that." Bella said sarcastically.
"Well you're quite welcome." Aro countered as the tensions were rising. "But can I ask you to recall something for me? Have you ever been given my venom after the first dose that made you?"
Bella initially smirked, ready to snap back at him, but her face paused for a second in thought. Only a few agonizingly slow seconds went by, but those seconds were all it took for the atmosphere in the room to change. Aro was back in control.
"No?" He taunted, finally stepping away from me and towards Bella now. My instincts were screaming as he neared her. "Still so confident?"
"I still don't believe it. Just because you treat your venom like it's liquid fucking gold doesn't suddenly put me at risk."
"But it would be fitting wouldn't it? The thing that gave you life, is the thing that can take it away."
"And yet you have no proof. You're all talk, like always."
"You hurt me with your false accusations dear. You claim I am some lazy liar, but I've been painstakingly working on this. You know me so little." He walked over to a nearby table and despite ourselves, Bella and I both peered to see what he was getting. "I had so many samples of your blood, I thought why not test some things. Oh do I owe Carlisle, his instruments here have helped me a tremendous amount. When you see him next time little Alice, please give him my best regards. And apologies for killing his youngest daughter of course, but I figured that would be a given." Aro returned with a syringe in hand. Just from the viscosity alone I could tell it was vampire venom.
I looked to Bella, who looked to me in return. I could tell she was confused, unsure possibly, and I was terrified of what fate that needle could hold.
"But you say you need proof, and I couldn't agree more. The initial results with your blood cells were promising, and I'm sure if this here needle was plunged immediately into your heart you would not be able to really savor the proof. So will a scratch of it do?" He now pulled a small blade and emptied a bit of the venom onto it, covering the metal. "It will take a while to reach your heart, but I feel the pain will be worth it."
All too sudden, his eyes dilated pitch black and Aro took a very aggressive step forward, knife held at arm's length. Bella backtracked and automatically turned away from the attack, causing the blade to catch the side of her face before she could get out of reach.
The room went silent, all I could hear was Bella's stammering heart. At first she almost laughed, wiping some blood from the medium sized wound near her left eye. It didn't look that bad, maybe a few stitches were needed, but really it could heal within the hour. Bella started to smile and look up at me as if to say don't worry, he was full of shit. But life was never that kind when it came to her.
In an instant the pain had dropped her screaming on the floor. Aro stepped back, pleased with his work for the time being.
"Bella! No!" Felix's arm cage was nothing on me after this scene. I broke from his grasp and then debated which person needed me first. Kill Aro, destroy Jane, or try and aid Bella? Before I could make a decision however, Jane made hers and brought me to my knees clutching my head that I was sure was splitting.
It was a nightmare. No, it was much worse than a nightmare. I couldn't tell which was worse, Jane's torturing, or the agony of watching and listening to Bella.
This wasn't how it was supposed to go. What had we done wrong in life to deserve this? Why did Aro get to have his way? Wasn't the good always supposed to trump the bad?
She's dying. She's dying and you can't even save her. Would they kill me too once they were finished? I hoped they would. But even if they didn't, I wouldn't live long without her. With the thought of Bella and me dying together, I felt at peace. I couldn't move, but at least it would be over soon enough. She would never have to experience pain anymore. We could finally be together and free, at long last.
"Alice!" Was that a voice of an angel maybe? It was beautiful, like bells. "Bella! Someone fucking grab him!" The voice sounded panicked, not the mood I was hoping for in the afterlife. Maybe I had gone to hell after all.
"Alice? Can you hear me? Open your damn eyes!" Someone was shaking me quite violently, so I opened my eyes see who was disturbing my peaceful death.
"Is she ok? What's wrong with her Emmett?" Big golden eyes shined down on me, lifting me up into a standing position. But my feet weren't working.
"I don't know Rose! Shell shock? Carlisle would slapping her work?"
"Normally I would say no, but desperate times call for desperate measures." A very panic stricken man called to my – my brother? My head still felt fuzzy and there were so many noises. Something hard hit my face and I fell back into another set of arms, these ones were much gentler than the others.
"Alice you need to tell us what happened. What's wrong with Bella?" Bella.
The sounds became distinguishable again, but to my horror all I could hear was Bella's cries of suffering. But she's alive. For now.
I pushed my mother's arms off of me and crawled towards my struggling mate, trying to soothe anything I could. However this was no nightmare she could wake up from or be comforted back into reality with.
"Alice what happened?!" Carlisle screamed with alarm written all over his face.
"Aro. Aro's venom." I choked, throat scratchy and sore from my windpipe being crushed by Felix.
"It should stop soon then, right?" Esme came back over and tried to cradle Bella as she squirmed. But she could tell this was no ordinary bout, something was wrong.
"He-he said it will kill her once it gets to her heart. Kill her for real."
"But-but he could be lying." Emmett said too fast, trying to reassure himself.
"Look at what is happening right now! Do you really want to take that risk?!" Rosalie practically cried, desperately looking at Carlisle and I for answers.
"Carlisle-Carlisle honey what do we do?" Esme shook, still trying to comfort Bella as she howled. "Carlisle I can't lose her."
"I-I don't- I don't know." Carlisle looked around frantically at his former house, thinking of any tools or instruments he could use to help. Meanwhile Bella began to beg for someone to take her out of her misery. My heart clenched at the coming fate.
"FUCKING KILL HER!"
"WHAT!?" Carlisle turned to the person who suggested such a thing. Liam stood near a small pile of body parts, what remained of Felix.
"Kill her! Stop her heart from pumping so the venom won't reach it."
"How do you know that won't kill her for good anyways?!" Rosalie countered, everyone's panicked minds making things oh so much worse.
"I don't. But would you rather sit here and watch her die, or do something about it?"
"It's too risky!"
"WHAT OTHER CHOICES DO WE HAVE?" The others began to argue, but I sat and listened to Bella's heart. The rhythmic sound of my home calling to me. It would always tell me what to do.
She was going to die. If I'm assuming Aro was telling the truth, which it looks to be that way right now, she was going to die within minutes, possibly less than that. But there was a small chance that if someone killed her before the venom reached her heart, she would wake up per usual. However, there was also the very large chance that she would never wake up. Was I willing to take that risk, knowing that if I did so, she would die at my hands instead of Aro's?
I didn't have to think for long. I knew my answer, and I also knew Bella's. Without hesitation, I pulled Bella into my lap and cradled her neck, feeling around for the spot I wanted.
"ALICE NO!"
"Bella please wake up." I whispered before snapping her neck in one fluid movement.
The screams died out. The shouting died out. The noise died out.
The heart pulled tight against my chest, died out.