"You look like you need a refill," Becky said, setting down two margaritas on the small table between our two loungers.
"God." I laughed, slightly tipsy. The mix lime, orange and tequila in the drink had a sneaky punch. And it wasn't exactly wise to chase away a hangover with more alcohol. "I'm going to need to detox after this weekend."
She grinned and stretched back out, her tanned skin was darker and slightly pink after two days in the sun. Her blonde hair was piled atop her head in a neat mess, her voice slightly hoarse from laughing so hard the night before. After all, after Jacob had made love to me, I showered and spent the rest of the night with Becky. He tried to approach me about it this morning, but Becky and I were off to the room top pool before he could start the conversation. And since then, he hadn't come to see me.
I brought my hand with the very elegant ring that now only confuses me more. I know I do believe him when he tells me that the video was before we were together, but I can't help the small, miniscule doubt I have in him. I know I shouldn't because he wouldn't-couldn't love me the way he did under the pretense of a ruse.
I was wearing an ocean blue bikini which wrapped around my torso neatly. I hadn't even had time to register what was happening when Spencer wrapped me up in his arms, and jumped into the pool with me. I screamed at the cold water hit my skin, and layfully yelled at him, "You idiot!"
"You can't just lounge around all day. Trust me. You'll thank me later."
I was treading the water when I turned my head to Jacobs panicked voice emerge from the doorway, "Emma?! Are you ok?" He was only wearing a pair of knee-length shorts which left his torso bear and delicious.
I was still giggling from Spencer's actions when I saw him and I said, "Yeah I'm fine." Although I didn't mean to make it come across rude and snippy, it did, and he sulked off back down the stairs. I suk in my lips and consider whether I should follow him.
"Just go to him. I can't even look at him now without remembering what I saw online," Becky grumbled.
"You watched it!" I asked horrified and giggling.
"God! Not intentionally! I found out about it by SEEING it online, so I saw the first second of it! But even that was enough!"
I laughed as she cringed and submerged herself under the water as if to wash the meroried which seared deep into her mind. And burned mine also. I hadn't seen the tape, nor did I ever intend to. But the whole thing confuses me. The thing is, usually when I say I'm confused, even then I might feel one or two emotions that.I can pick. But I feel nothing, I don't feel angry or upset, but then I don't feel warm and fuzzy with him either.
Unfortunately, out of the pool provided no relief from the heat that has begaught the giant spa I was in. In this heat even the trees appear defeated. Leaves that should be firm and upward were, tilting, drooping, flaccid as old lettuce. If not for the daily gardeners and sprinkler system, the soil wouldn't simply just be dry, but powdery to the touch.However, unlike the pool, the air is dry, not the usual humid warmth Bora Bora usually has at this time of the year. Each day the orange gold sky stretches far and wide, the colour of fire hearths and tangerines.
The cool breath of the the house was a relief from the violent heat outside, to simply breath was to inhale a sharp breath of ice and welcome the pleasant burn. My lazy feet hit the floor in sloppy stride, searching for Jacob. I checked the office, then bedroom, then kitchen. While the house - or more accurately mansion - was an extremely large space, the floor plan was vastly open with limited rooms to explore. I ended up taking a break from my search and I saw that the kitchen sink was overflowing with pots pans and other strange kitchen utensils. Without a second thought I began to run the water and start to clean the dishes. I wasn't even a quarter of the way through before Camille the one of the residents cleaners came in frantic and flustered. Thank goodness for my fluency in French or else her ramblings would have made no sense. "Ms Emma, please don't bother yourself with the cleaning! I will do it right now if you wish to use the kitchen!" she flew through the words in perfect dication of the language.
I feel terrible, and respond "I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to get in your way-of course you like it some way, my fault completely-"
"No! No! Ms Emma, you can do whatever you wish, I simply don't want you to feel like you need to do the dishes on account of my laziness!"
"Gosh no," I reply laughing, "I was merely board. In fact if your not busy may I help you with the rest?" She looked at me peculalary, probably wondering what is wrong with me to not want to utilise this amazing place for the limited time we have here, "I love cleaning," I respond to her silent question.
"Okay?" she responds quizzically.
For the next forty-five minutes we engage in a very enjoyable conversation, she tells me about her husband and 5 children. They were all still under 15 and her husband was currently looking for work. "Would your kids like to come here maybe for lunch tomorrow?"
"No, No! This is your vacation with Mr Reynolds." She responds delicately defensively.
"Oh that's fine! Jacob has to work most of tomorrow anyways, and you said Palo has an interview tomorrow, so I'd love to watch your kids."
"really, I do appreciate the offer, but I would hate to be an imposition-"
"Nonsense! It's no imposition. Plus, you said your kids love swimming when they can and not only is there a beach down there," I point to the ocean bellow, "and a pool up there that I'm sure they'd love."
She looked at me questioning for a moment. I hope she didn't see that I was actually just doing this for selfish reasons. Five kids meant that I would have even a spare moment to deal with my confused feeling and instead I could ignore them properly.
--
The next day Camille brings her five children around to the house. She introduces them, the eldest girl is 14 her name is Valerie, then next was a boy named Bruce, he was 10, Maia was introduced next and she just turned 9, Nova was the next child to enter, and she was 12, finally was Tybil, he was 3. "Hello guys, welcome!" I spoke in French.
"Actually all of my kids speak English like their father, while I only dabble in the language," Camille told me.
"Perfect," I clapped my hands together, switching back to English, "Hi guys!" The kids were all a lot more confident then what I was at their age.
The all said greeted me warmly back, and Valerie asked me, "How has your holiday been?"
"Hot," I replied with mock exasperation. "I heard that you guys liked swimming-"
"I love your bikini, it's soooo pretty," Valerie said again.
"Thank you!" I gushed, "My boyfriend got it for me actually." I looked back to see that Camille had vanished. "Do you guys want to go swimming in the pool or beach first?"
"Pool!" Tybil shouted and jumped on his feet.
"Pool it it is!" I responded matching his enthusiasm.
We made our way up the 20ft wide grande staircase up to the hallway which would take us to the pool. Tybil held my hand as we ascended the staircase, and I almost physically shivered with the cuteness overload. Directing my attention to Valerie I asked, "Does your brother need floaties or assistance with anything?"
"He still wears a back buble, but other than that he's completely fine."
When we reached the rooftop infinity pool, the gaping jaws of all the kids brought a smile to my face. Bruce charged towards the water, and bombed into the pool. That seemed to be the invitation for all the other kids to follow and they all dived in to join him. Tybil stay close, clinging tightly to my hand. I walked us down towards the shallow end where I could stand and help support him in the water. He lep got of my hand and sat down on the edge and lowered himself into the water, very quickly accommodating to it and swimming eagerly over to his siblings.
I too submerged myself into the water. I could just swim forever, dive forever, be here in this underwater world forever. There is something about the motion of it that becomes natural after a while. I'll always need the air and the sunlight, to feel the saline water wash over my skin and through my eye lashes, but there's a reason I was sent here. And so, I swim while I can, rescue while I'm strong, rest when I must. There are times I want to be saved, to give up and await strong arms to pull me up. I wish it was Jacob who would be the one to rescue me. But it's thoughts ike that which make it really hard to be a postworld-feminist.
For the next four hours, Jacob, Becky and Spencer joined us in the pool, and we did shoulder tackling. Where someone would sit on the shoulders of another and two people would go head to head. Even though watching the kids get into it was extremely enjoyable, when us four played it was hilarious. The most common duo was Jacob and I, and Spencer and Becky. Most of the time Spencer and Becky won, because Jacob and I were solely focused on beating each other.
Camille came to check on her kids frequently, and continuously thanked me and made sure that us looking after them was no imposition to our holidays, and while I know they weren't, I know Jacob's partly enjoying this so much becuase he knows that I'm enjoying it.
For lunch Spencer and Jacob made lobster - which I found out that other than toast is the only thing Jacob can make -. Becky, the kids and I made, salads, mash potato, bruschetta, grilled vegetables, and fish fingers. In the end, I most bonded with Valerie, finding her educated way beyond her years, and Becky found interest in Maia, who seemed to have a personality extremely similar to hers.
Once we'd fiested on the luch prepared, Jacob had some work to do, and both Bruce and Tybil had fallen asleep on the couch. Maia, Nova and Valerie on the other hand, accompanied me to the walk in wardrobe. "Well since my friends and I are leaving tomorrow," I pouted, "I really have no use for the items I brought with me, and was wondering if you girls would like any of them?"
"Yes!" They all seemed to squeal unanimously. In the ead, I ended up giving Valerie my flaming red bikini, leopard print bikini, my backless short white beach dress and my open toe, white, three in sandal high heel.
"Thank you!" She delighted. The girls continued to come out of the bathroom like a fashion show, and the outfit would go to 'whoever wore it best'. At first when Nova suggested the idea, I was most worried it would lead to arguments, but frankly every decision I made, there was either mutual agreeance or no comment. After my suitcase had been completely empty aside from my make-up, toiletries and clothes for tomorrow, we all made our way to the screening room and placed on '50 first dates'.
I hadn't realised, but I fell asleep during the film, I was cold becuase I was now exposed to the air conditioning in just my bikini. What woke me up was the warm embrace that sent shivers over my skin. I recognised the familiar scent to be Jacob's, and he had picked me up. Still heavy with sleep, I snuggled closer to his chest as he carried me, and I inhaled the smell that was uniquely him. With almost a violent swing, he flung me into the pool, and when I emerged from the water, there was everyone -Jacob, Becky, Spencer, and all the kids - laughing at me.
I pulled myself out of the water and stalked over to Jacob, I whispered into his ear so that only he could here, "I am going to punish you for this later. And it won't be the kind of punishment you like."
He caught me by my wrist, his mouth drew into a smirk and at the same volume he said, "Was that a threat?"
"No. Just a promise."
"Please remind me again when these kids leave?" he wined quietly.
"According to my calculations, right about now actually...how convenient."
"Say your goodbyes. You have 10 seconds."
I inhaled a sharp breath and individually said goodbye to the children on the pool, edge. While the girls seemed disappointed to see me go, the young boys had already run down the hall after Spencer and Becky. Jacob was being completely serious when he said 10 seconds, as he scooped me atop of his shoulder in one elegant movement, and paced down the hall to our bedroom. "It's time for you to come through on your promises," he groans.
--
For the final night we all ate dinner on the balcony. Up here, it's like looking down at the world. You can see the trees, the flowers, the sea and a great absence of busy people going on about the day. Up here it's like standing on a giants back exploring the world with awe. In the late afternoon light, the sand is the most gentle hue of gold, almost earthen and muted, the humble star of the scene. I love this beach. I love the white foam that comes upon the buoyant ripples as they glide easily up the sand. Then there is the seaweed, that flora of those salty waves, as deeply green as any high summer foliage. My favourite though, of everything that is here upon the softly rolling dunes, is the clear, aqua water that could be mistaken for coloured glass if not for the slight movements. "Isn't it good to get away from school for a bit?" Becky mused.
"Well I want to enjoy it as much as possible." I sigh, "Who knows how long I have left there." Everyone looked at me quizzically, "I called Andrew a few days ago, and he told me my moms really not doing well. She really wants me home, and she's not reinstating her financial aid to help me with school. I just know I can't do it without her help. So I figured if I defer for a semester and go home, and try and smooth things over, maybe she'll change her disposition about the subject."
"If you do move back to Malibu, let me know dates, becuase I'll need to look into buying a place," Jacob said too casually, almost superfluous.
"Why?"
"Becuase New York is too far a commute," he says slowly and as a matter of fact.
"Wait! Back up a second. Why would you need to commute to Malibu."
"Umm, because your my girlfriend," he looks at me as if I'm speaking gibberish.
"I can't ask you to pack up your life for me!" I say almost hysterically.
"You didn't ask, I made the decision."
I know we shouldn't be having this discussion in such polite company, but really this conversation involved everyone. "Well I don't even know about our future yet, so don't do anything permanent or irrational."
He looks at me annoyed, "In what future aren't we together?!"
"I didn't say that," I respond flustered and exasperated. "I'm simply discussing my Plan 'D' if I can't fund myself, becuase I'm sure as hell not taking out any student loans."
"I know. And I won't even try to offer to pay for your tuition, or even loan it to you, becuase you'll decline, and I do understand where you're coming from, I just, simply disagree."
"And what would plan 'A' and 'B' and 'C' be?" Becky interjects, bringing the conversation back to a more rational tone.
"Well 'A' would be begging my mom, 'B' would be applying for a scholarship, and 'C' would be...trying to find my dad and cash in years of unpaid child support."
Jacob slid his chair back roughly, making an ear-piercing sound on the lovely limestone floor beneath us, and leaving the conversation angry and upset.
--
I parked myself in front of the vanity and sighed. Why did I have to mention college and ruin a good thing? If it hadn't been for that, Jacob wouldn't have left dinner and instead followed me into the bedroom, and made love to me until she didn't know which way was up.
No matter what problems they had, I couldn't deny he was amazing at sex. His touch had the power to make me believe she was the only woman in the world for him. Maybe it was foolish to crave the sensation—after all, I had never been completely certain if he was ver Ava—but I couldn't help it that I ached for the fantasy, if only for the brief moments we shared our bodies.
"Emma," came Jacob's voice from the doorway.
I chewed my lower lip and looked at him. How could I ease the tension I'd created between us? I had no time to think about that before he was only inches away from my face. He placed his two hands on my hips and guided us forceful backwards to the armchair in the corner of the room.
I pushed him down until he sat in the plushy armchair and kissed him while settling myself in his lap. Another kiss. Everything about him fitted me perfectly, like he was a man tailor-made just for me. I loved it that for at least this moment, he was wholly focused on me and that nothing could divert his attention.
Mine.
His lips traveled along my jawline, tracing the soft clean lines there. I spread my hands over his chest. Through the silken shirt, I could feel his heart thump against my palm.
Slowly, he pushed away the shoulder straps that held my dress up. His fingers ran along my body, dragging the fabric lower. He undid the clasp of my satin red bra, pushing it out of the way and cupping my breasts. "God, they're stunning. I don't think I'll ever get used to their beauty."
I blushed, his words turning me on more. Wet heat intensified in my sex, and I squirmed, wishing he were already inside me.
"Patience," he murmured. "Let me make it good for you." He pulled a pointed nipple into his mouth and trapped it between the roof and tongue and sucked hard, the edge of his teeth scraping the sensitive tip.
I threw my head back and moaned as fiery sensation unfurled inside me. Careful not to dislodge my nipple from the heaven that was his mouth, I shimmied out of my dress and panties and tossed them aside. I unbuckled his jeans, going by feel, and ran the backs of my hands over the hot, hard shaft. My sex pulsed in anticipation.
I ran my forefinger over the head of his cock. He groaned, the vibration from the strained sound making her toes curl with pleasure. I pulled upward then seated myself slowly on his erection. It was almost effortless, but nonetheless delicious. I felt myself being filled and stretched; a breath shuddered out of me. I was so primed for him, I could come in no time at all.
"Jesus, you're hot. Tight."
My sex clenched. "You feel incredible."
"Use me." His hands gripped my ass and helped me move up and down his cock. "Make yourself come."
I set the pace, trying to draw out the moment as much as possible. He was large and iron-hard, and the friction of his flesh sliding against mine made me tighten my inner muscles, trying to grip him harder.
He thumbed my clit and rubbed it to the rhythm I set. "Oh my god," I moaned.
"Come on, mi amour. Come for me."
At his darkly whispered encouragement, a tidal wave of orgasm engulfed me. I arched her pelvis, grinding against him, as I threw my head back and screamed my pleasure. His arms tightened around me, and he buried his face in my breasts as a loud groan tore from my chest. He plunged hard into my body once more and lost himself.
Yes, yes, yes!
"Oh my," I said when the fiery haze had cleared. "That was amazing."
He kissed her on the mouth. "You're amazing."
I snuggled closer. But some hazy though probed in the back of my mind, and then I pulled back abruptly. "Shit," I breathed heavily. "We forgot a condom! Damn it Damn it Damn it."
I sat up and go off him, running to the bathroom and gettin in the shower. I began sobbing, and felt extremely stupid. "Baby, I'm sorry," I said quickly and pulling me into a hug. We let the water stream down our bodies and pool at our feet, sloshing when he stepped back to look at me.
"I can't be pregnant," I said at almost a whisper. My throat felt like i had closed and I could no longer talk.
"I know, and when we get back to New York, I'll have someone get you the morning after pill?"
I nodded and hugged him closer.
--
Back on the plane, Jacob looked up from his phone and smiled, "You just got emailed you high-school diploma."
"Great...Wait how do you know that-"
"Not the point." He took a pause and stared at his screen intensely. "I'm going to frame it and put it in my office."
"No your not!" I said forcefully.
"Why not?" I asked genuinely.
"Are you kidding? There's an original Van Gogh in your office, and literally that's all. My diploma, would look ridiculous and only embarrass the both of us."
"It's not embarrassing to me what-so-ever. I'm proud of my girlfriend and I want to show it."
"Still not happening," I grumbled, pulling myself tighter into a ball.
"You cold?" He asked concerned, rubbing my arm.
"A little. Care to warm me up?"
"More than anything. But, the plane lands in about five minutes, and I'll make up for it when we get back home, OK? Until then..." he removes that black V-neck sweater he had on and gives it to me.
"Thank you. I love you."
"I love you too. Thank you for forgiving me."
"There was nothing to forgive. I'm was never mad at you. It was Ava who did it anyway, not you."