Chapter 14: Bottomless Pit: Emily's Tale
(Emily's P.O.V)
Well, riding in the Mystery Cart and stopping at the bottomless pit can only mean one thing, another episode of Gravity Falls. I was actually curious to know what it felt like to be continuing to fall for a long time. We then got off the cart and walked to the giant hole.
"In this land of ours, there are many great pits. But none more bottomless than the bottomless pit. Which as you can see here is bottomless." Stan explained, gesturing to the pit. We all stared down at it.
"Question, is it bottomless?" Soos asked.
"Kids, can one of you try explaining this to Soos?" Stan sighed.
"Grunkle Stan, why are we here again?" Dipper asked.
"To dispose of things that we don't want. So long, Mystery Shack suggestion cards!" Stan said and threw down the slips of paper into the pit.
"Goodbye, creepy love letters from Li'l Gideon!" Mabel threw several card down. "Die! Die!" She cried after them and ran off, no doubt to the her box. Soos took of his shoes and tossed them in the pit.
"What are you doing?" Dipper asked.
"Throwing stuff, dude. Everyone's doin' it." Soos said and grabbed and barbecue grill and I quickly stopped him.
"Uh, we might wanna keep that." I said and he put it down as Mabel pushed her chained box to the pit.
"What you got there, Mabel?" Stan asked.
"Oh, it's just my personal box of mysterious secrets. Nothing worth wondering about." Mabel giggled and pushed her box in the pit. "Goodbye forever!" She exclaimed.
"Grunkle Stan, do I really have to be the one to point out that a bottomless pit is, by definition, impossible?" Dipper asked.
"Says you." Stan retorted and emptied cards for his fez.
"Two words Dipper. Gravity Falls. Anything is possible here." I said.
"Well, I guess we'll never know." Mabel shrugged. Right after she said that the wind started to blow. It was very strong and I understood why they got pushed in.
"Aah! It's some sort of invisible pushing force!" Soos cried.
"We should get out of here and let it pass." I suggested.
"Quick! Everyone back to the shack!" Dipper exclaimed and we ran towards the Shack, expect for Stan.
"I'm done getting rid of these yet!" Stan said and tried to throw his cards away, only to have the wind blow them in her face.
"Grunkle Stan! No!" Mabel cried and we tried to pull him out of the pit.
"Almost...almost...almost..." Stan then fell in the pit, with us being dragged along. We all know what this means, cue theme song! Also...AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!
And down we fell into the internal darkness, each one of us screaming at the top of our lungs. After a while we stopped, seeing that we weren't hitting anything. It felt weird to be falling internally.
"So, anyone want to scream some more?" Soos asked.
"Where are we?" Dipper asked, looking around.
"At the subway heading for China." I joked and face-palmed. "Yeah, that wasn't funny." I muttered. Mabel lit a glow stick and it glowed green as she waved it around.
"We're somewhere where it looks like we're nowhere." She deduced and hung the glow stick on her arm, making it go up, and giggled.
"We're gonna land on something eventually. It could be any second now." Dipper said and we braved for an impact, only to have nothing happen. Thankfully.
"Well... it looks like we're down here for the long haul. Who wants to see some card tricks?" Stan then took a deck of cards, but instead of shuffling they flew above us.
"Tada!" Stan gave jazz hands as Mabel and I clapped for him, you gotta admit it was pretty cool.
"Hey, maybe we should pass the time by telling stories." Soos suggested.
"I've got a story. It's called the time Grunkle Stan got us all thrown into a bottomless pit where we spent the rest of our natural lives!" Dipper said and I laughed.
"Go on..." Soos said, not knowing that Dipper wasn't being serious.
"Come on, Dipper, you can do better than that." Mabel urged and Dipper took the glow stick.
"Fine. I'll you a story. A story I'd like to call...Voice Over."
(We are now seeing the story where Emily plays a part. Enjoy ;)
I was with Wendy, Soos and Mabel as Waddles was sparawlwe against the ground.
"Ready?" Mabel asked.
"Spin the pig!" We chanted and Mabel spun Waddles around and when he stopped, surprise, surprise, Stan was the target.
"Hey! Grunkle Stan. Ever kissed a pig before?" Mabel asked, holding Waddles up.
"I'm not gonna answer that question." Stan deadpanned.
"Uh...that makes me think you have. You could have said no and you didn't want to!" I said as Dipper ran up.
"Guys! I think I just got bit by a snake! I need you to get me to a hospital quick!" Dipper said, voice infamously cracking. Stan just laughed.
"What? What's so funny?" Dipper asked.
"Sorry. It's just hard to focus on what you're saying with that squeaky puberty voice you got there." Stan explained.
"My what?" Dipper asked.
"It's nothing to be ashamed of, Dipper. Your voice is hillaaarrious!" Mabel said, imitating Dipper.
"Jokes aside, it's completely normal for your voice to crack at your age. It means you're growing up." I said and gave a thumbs up.
"Are you saying my voice cracks? My voice doesn't crack!" Dipper denied.
"Dude, no offense, but it cracks so much we've already made a techno remix out of it." Soos said and played a tape he got from out of nowhere.
"Nice to meet you. My name's Dipper Pines, P-P-Pines, Pines, Pines Nice to meet you P-p-pines, Pines, Pines." The tape played and we danced along to it.
"Do I really sound like that?" Dipper asked, embarrassed.
"Oh, here comes my favorite part!" Wendy said excitedly.
"Stop it, guys!" The tape whined and we burst out laughing.
"Give me that!" Dipper said and snatched the tape away. He stormed off and we turned back to our game.
"Spin the pig!"
The next day after sleeping, and wondering what life was and how I'm living at all, I was at the gift shop with Soos. Then the twins came up to us.
"How are you diddly-doing, Soos and Emily?" Dipper asked, in his weird potion voice. Anyway Soos and I gasped. Soos grabbed a broom and started hitting Dipper with it.
"Kill it! Kill it with fire! Everyone flee!" Soos yelled and everyone that was in the shop screamed in terror and fled out the door.
"What gives, man? You guys all made fun of my old voice. I thought you'd like the new one." Dipper said.
"We made a remix, we never said it was bad or terrible." I pointed out.
"Yeah and at least before you sounded like a real person. Now, you sound like some weird commercial dude." Soos said thoughtfully.
"That's what he reminds me of." I said in (fake) realization.
"I'll find Stan. He'll like my new voice. You'll see. I'll be right back after these messages!.. I mean... goodbye." Dipper walked out to the gift shop and we sighed, cause this wasn't a story about us, it was about a Dipper accepting his voice.
Later that night we were in the living room and a Dipper walked in, taking a deep breath before speaking.
"Hey guys." He waved, back to normal.
"Dipper!" Mabel cried.
"Dude you're back!" Soos said happily.
"I see you made the right choice with your voice." I winked, then realized I rhymed.
"I guess I realized that even though my voice may not be perfect, it's still mine, and I wouldn't change it for anything, not even for whatever was in this new vial." Dipper said holding up said vial that still had some red liquid in it.
"So, what did you do with the rest of that potion?" Mabel asked.
"I dumped it in Stan's coffee." Dipper answered. Stan then came in with coffee.
"Have any of you kids seen mah girdle? Where mah girdle at?" Stan asked in a women's voice, causing us to burst out laughing.
"What? What's so funny? I'm Grunkle Stay-an! Kids laughing. Laughing at they Grunkle." Stan grumbled.
THE END.
(And we are back to the Pit! Brought to you by Angelwings2002. Who does not own any characters in this story besides Emily...for now...;)
"I spy with my little eye something that is... Black!" Mabel said.
"Ooh ooh! Everything!" Soos said excitedly.
"Yay for Soos!" Mabel clapped.
"Yay for Soos!" The handyman repeated.
"Hey guys, who wants to pass the time by spinning? Everyone spin!" Mabel urged.
"No." Dipper deadpanned.
"Okay!" I said and started to spin. "Weeee!" I cheered happily. Mabel then spun her brother as I stopped.
"Woooaah!" He cried. Then Mabel started running onto of him.
"Weeee!" She cried.
"Ow, ow, ow, ow." Dipper groaned.
"Dipper's pain is funny, but I'm starting to get bored. Soos, tell a story." Stan deadpanned.
"Really? Okay." Soos said and took the glow stick as Dipper screamed in the background.
"This story is called, Soos' really good Pinball story. Is that a good title? Does it have to be a pun or whatever?" Soos asked.
"Keep going." I urged.
(No Emily in this story. Sorry, but a rather not let her hog the spotlight. Plus it's fine with just the twins and Soos.)
"And well...that's the end dude." Soos said.
"Good story Soos, had a good lesson too props." I said giving a thumbs up.
"Hey, how about you tell one Emily!" Mabel said eagerly.
"Me really? Uh okay." I said and took the glow stick. "This is a story I'd like to call, 'T.V Scream' mwahaha!" I announced.
(Yay original story! You ready? Great let's go!)
I walked into the living room to see Dipper sitting in the couch. He was surrounded by several snacks and soda's.
"Whoa, is there an apocalypse no one told me about?" I asked pointing to all the food around the room.
"Nope, unless you count my favorite show 'Ghost Harassers' having a marathon, all leading up to the season finale!" Dipper explained excitedly as Mabel walked in.
"Aww, come on Dipper, you've seen those episodes like a bazillion time's! It's a nice day out and the finale isn't until tomorrow." Mabel whined.
"Yeah, remember the old saying, 't.v rots your brain'." I added.
"Sorry ladies, but nothing is getting between me, and this t.v." Dipper insisted and took a sip from his soda.
"He's not gonna move is he?" I asked Mabel and she shook her head as we left Dipper with his show. The next morning I woke up and went to the Shack as normal. When I walked in Mabel was coming down the stairs, still in her pajamas.
"Morning Mabel, sleep well?" I asked.
"Yeah, though a doubt Dipper slept at all." She joked and gestured to the living room. I noticed that all the lights were off, only the glow of the tv illuminated on Dipper's face.
"Geez Dipper, turn on a few lights in here." I said and turned on the lights.
"Hissssss!"
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Mabel and I screamed in horror. Dipper had changed into a zombie like state. His skin was a pale gray, messy hair, and his eyes where a light yellow. He was huddled underneath a blanket, eyes focused on the screen.
"T.v...must watch t.v..." He hissed in a demonic voice.
"Wha-what happened to him?" Mabel screeched, clutching my side.
"I think his brain is...rotted. I didn't know that would happen, it's supposed to be a saying to encourage kids to go outdoors!" I panicked. Dipper fell off the couch and inched closer to the t.v as it was treasure.
"We gotta save him! But how?" Mabel asked and I thought for a moment.
"First things first, we gotta get him away from the t.v." I said and tried to walk over to the controls, but Dipper snapped at him. Like he actually tried to bite me!
"Ah, geez! What the heck dude!?" I yelled then took a breath. "Well, you asked for it. Mabel, do you know how to tie a rope, super tight?" I asked.
"You bet! I tie a lotta knots in arts and crafts." Mabel said happily. We quickly got some rope, Mabel put on a sweater that had a tree on it, and we went back to Dipper.
"Dipper look! A t.v the size of a house!" I yelled and pointed in the opposite direction Mabel was. Dipper fell for my trick and turned his head before Mabel tackled him to the ground.
"Sorry Dipper, it's for you're own good!" Mabel assured him as she tied him up. I grabbed him and hoisted him in my shoulder and bolted out the door. Mabel ran after me. Dipper struggled against the bonds but Mabel sure had them tight. Once we were a great distance away from the Shack we sighed and plopped Dipper down against a tree.
"Geez, that's the last time I run with one of you tied up." I sighed, though I made a mental note that it might not be the last time given our crazy adventures.
"But Dipper still looks the same." Mabel said I stared at Dipper, who was trying to chew the ropes, and thought for a moment.
"Well, this May be a long shot, but if we do some fun out door activities, it may undo the rotting effects on his brain." I said. "But we can't unite him since...Hey! Get back here!" I noticed Dipper trying to get away, but I pulled him back.
"Well, leave the creativity to Mabel." Mabel said.
And now there was a montage. We played charades, though Dipper juts stared blanking at us. Mabel and climbed up a tree and pulled Dipper along, who merely shrugged at the view. Next we played hot potato with a pinecone and Dipper caught it in his mouth. Mabel and beamed at each other, it was working.
We then brought him to the lake and started skipping stones. Dipper seemed fascinated by this and Mabel trusted him enough to untie his arms to let him throw a few stones to skip. When he got five skips we jumped up in victory, only to fall face first in the water. When we pulled him out Mabel gasped.
"Dipper! He's back to normal!" She cried and squeezed the life out of him.
"Ah, Mabel...can't breath!" Dipper wheezed.
"Hahaha, sorry." Mabel said and let him go.
"Oof, what happened? And how'd we get to the lake?" He asked, rubbing his head.
"Let's just say Emily was right about t.v rotting your brain." Mabel said. I laughed awkwardly.
"Believe me, I wasn't trying to be." I insisted. We then trudged back to the Shack.
"We made it back just in time for the finale." I said checking my phone for the time.
"Yeah, you guys were right. I should have just waited for the finale. From now on I'll be more careful with the t.v." Dipper vowed. He opened the door and we saw Stan on the couch.
"Hey Stan can we use the t.v to watch the season finale of Ghost Harassers?" Dipper asked and Stan hissed.
"MY T.V!" Stan yelled, in a similar state that Dipper was in.
"AHHHHHHHHHHHH!" We cried once we settled down we sighed and I looked at the bundle of rope I was holding.
"We're gonna need a lot more rope."
THE END
(There you have it, Emily told a story. Hope it was good, we now return to the bottomless pit. Brought to you by: I NEED MORE TIME TO WRITE!)
"And that's the end." I said as we kept falling. Stan had his arms crossed.
"I can't believe this nonsense. Magic tonics? Soos winning at something? T.v rotting your brain? Where did you come up with this stuff? I'll tell you a good story. It's called 'Grunkle Stan wins the football bowl'." Stan then told us the infamous story.
So a touchdown, jocks learning a lesson, trophy lady, Footbot, and fireworks later we all started to boo him.
"What? That story was great! I even threw in a talking robot for the kids." Stan said.
"Sorry just, it should have had a plot." I shrugged and Mabel took the glow stick.
"Yeah, yeah. I'm gonna tell a non-terrible story. A story called 'Trooth Ache!'" Mabel said.
(Yay, last story. Same as the first one. Here we go!)
I stared as Manly Dan was struggling with a tied bear. It was sure a sight to behold, on or off the screen.
"This attraction is gonna make me a fortune. Easy with that bear, Corduroy! I need him in showroom condition." Stan ordered and the bear roared.
"No, noo!" Dan then started to wrestle the bear in his hold.
"Aaaaawww. They're hugging." Mabel gushed.
"Yeah...sure. Let's go with that." I muttered.
"So, let me get this straight. Your plan is to teach a bear to ride a bicycle?" Dipper asked.
"No. Come on, everyone's seen a bicycle-riding bear. No, no. I'm gonna teach this bear...to drive!" Stan said proudly.
"Uh, how about no." I said hopefully.
"And into the drivers seat you go." Stan said as he pushed the bear into his car. I sighed and followed them in.
I wish I hadn't.
"Why would you let us ride on the bears first lesson!?" I yelled as the car served back and forth in the road.
"And the yellow light means speed up." Stan said, ignoring me. Sirens the wailed behind us.
"Uh oh." Stan said simply. Sheriff Blubs and deputy Durland walked over to the car and Stan lowered is window calmly.
"What seems to be the problem, officers?" Stan asked, as if they weren't a bear chewing a seatbelt in the drivers seat.
"There better be a darn good explanation for this." Blubs said in a stern voice.
"Oh, there is. You see, I'm a very old man. Not long for this Earth. And the doctors assigned me a seeing eye bear to drive me to the hospital in case of an emergency." Stan explained as Mabel started thinking to herself.
"Is that right? Then, where is your doctor's note?" Blubs asked, unconvinced.
"Why, it's right here, inside my jacket." Stan said and quickly wrote a note down in his jacket. "There you go." He said, handing them the note and the two looked at it.
"Well, I can't argue with Dr. Medicine." Blubs said.
"To the hospital, Honeypants!" Stan ordered and the bear roared and drove away.
Once we were back at the Shack Honeypants was outside, playing with the trash can and Stan started spray painting the rocks under the sign 'Real Gold!'.
"Grunkle Stan, how could you lie to those policemen? Don't you know lying is always wrong?" Mabel asked.
"Mabel, when you get to be my age, you'll learn that you sometimes have to bend the truth for the greater good." Stan said, eating spaghetti.
"Yeah, but there's a gray area for that kinda of thing. And you, Stan Pines, have went over board dozens of times." I said.
"Hey, have any of you seen my plate of spaghetti?" Dipper asked and Stan hid the plate behind him as he turned around.
"No... But I bet Soos has. You know how he likes to eat." Stan said, whispering the last part.
"This is a dark day. Thanks, Grunkle Stan." Dipper said. I could never figure out why he never noticed the sauce on Stan's face.
"See? Greater good." Stan insisted, patting his stomach.
"Aaaaaa!" Mabel groaned and stormed off.
"You know this is gonna backfire on you." I said all knowingly.
"Eh, says you." Stan shrugged and walked off eating the spaghetti.
The next morning Stan was cooking breakfast as Mabel explained to Dipper and me about the truth teeth.
"You what? That seems like a horrible idea!" Dipper whispered yelled.
"It's great! Now he has to tell the truth." Mabel insisted.
"Hmmmm." Dipper thought.
"Mabel, remember when I said they was a gray area on when to lie or not. What you're doing is going way over the truth side, and I never said it was a good thing." I explained as Stan came up.
"Scrambled meat, here it is." Stan said and dropped the pan in front of us.
"Stan, what do you do in secret everyday during your lunch break?" Dipper asked.
"Usually, I spend the hour aggressively scratching myself in places I shouldn't mention. Now I'm going to avoid making eye contact by pretending to read this newspaper and going to the bathroom without washing my hands." Stan said and left.
"Eeeeeeewww!" We gagged.
"Well, that was disturbing." Dipper shuddered.
"Yeah...WASH YOUR HANDS STAN!" I yelled.
"Don't worry, guys. The truth is always a good thing." Mabel said.
"Yeah...hold that thought." I muttered. At the gift shop, Stan was counting money and a man came up.
"Hey, excuse me. Do you think this t-shirt is my size?" He asked.
"Never mind the t-shirt! Hey everyone, look at this guy's abnormal and unattractive face!" Stan yelled for everyone to hear. People started laughing as the man looked down embarrassed as Mabel started to lead him away.
"I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry." She apologized and I smacked Stan in the head. Later Dipper and I walked into Stan's office doing 'taxes'.
"Doing my taxes." Stan hummed and Dipper took a paper that read 'I HAVE COMMITTED TAX FRAUD' written in red ink.
"Uh, Grunkle Stan, why did you write this?" Dipper asked.
"Because I regularly commit massive tax fraud." Stan answered simply.
"Well, guess he can't write a lie either." I said as Dipper put the paper in a shredder.
"You might wanna...tuck that one away there." Dipper muttered. That night we were watching a man on a unicycle, juggling while being surrounded by alligators.
"Hahahahaha!" The twins and I laughed.
"Sometimes, I think. Is this all there is? Is life just some kind of horrific joke without a punch line? That we're all just biding our time until the sweet, sweet, release of death?" Stan deadpanned.
Mabel rocked back and forth, traumatized. Dipper shuddered while I rubbed my shoulders in discomfort. At least he didn't mention Ford, that would throw the whole timeline off.
Later I was sitting with Dipper and Mabel in their room. Wearing earplugs, that seemed to be ineffective.
"Kids, I think I have a growth forming on my back. Just wanted to be honest with you guys." Stan called up to us. Yep, ineffective.
"Why did he have to yell that?" I groaned.
"I can't take it anymore, Mabel! We need to take those teeth out of his mouth." Dipper ordered.
"But then he'll be a liar again." Mabel said.
"Could it possibly be any worse than this?" Dipper asked. The door bell rang before she could answer and we went down stairs to see the police officers.
"So, after further investigation, it turns out that there is no Dr. Medicine in Gravity Falls." Blubs explained.
"You better have a darn good explanation for this." Durland said.
"Oh and I do. You see, I lied to you. In addition I've been parking in handicapped spaces, shoplifting fireworks, and smuggling endangered animals across multiple state lines. Also, you're fat." Stan counted on his fingers. Sheriff Blubs dropped his coffee in shock.
"Is all of this true?" He asked, getting handcuffs.
"No! No, it's not true. Right, guys?" Dipper said.
"Yeah, this is a big misunderstanding." I lied, the two officers turned to Mabel.
"Uh, sirs, I have to be completely and totally honest with you. Our Great Uncle Stan is...is...Stan is.. secretly a crime fiction writer!" Mabel cried.
"What?" Blubs asked after we all were silent for a moment.
"Yeah. He was just telling you about a character in his upcoming page turner, Crime Grandpa! He's never committed a crime in his life. Also, have you lost weight?" Mabel explained.
"Finally someone noticed." Blubs laughed happily.
"Wow, an author! Can you teach me how to read?" Durland asked hopefully as he held up a book that showed up magically.
"What, author?" Stan asked, out of the loop.
"Ha ha, writer, master of fiction. Good night, officers." Mabel escorted the officers out and closed the door and let out a sigh of relief.
"Hey, you alright?" Dipper asked.
"I can't believed I lied." Mabel said in disbelief.
"Mabel, it was for the greater good." Dipper said.
"Yeah, the greater good."
"Yep, you were right in the grey area." I assured her.
"Hello? Police station? I forgot to tell him about my tax fraud. No, tax fraud." Stan said in the phone. The twins tackled him down while I grabbed the phone.
"Sorry wrong number, forget this ever happened, okay bye!" I said quickly and hung up on whoever was on the other end of the line.
"What's gotten into you kids?" Stan asked Mabel the pulled the truth teeth out of his mouth, much to his surprise.
"We have to find a place to get rid of these!" Mabel said. And, as we all know, she put them in her box of secrets that she threw in the pit earlier.
(Back to the bottomless pit. Brought to you by, Halloween candy, it's awesome. What's your favorite?)
"And I never saw that box full of magical teeth again. Oh wait, there it is." Mabel said and we saw the box falling by Stan. Everyone else, including me, sighed.
"Oh, sweet! My shoes!" Soos said and put both of his shoes back on.
"I like the part with the bear. The rest of it seems pretty far-fetched." Stan commented.
"And a bear driving isn't?" I asked jokingly.
"Mabel, we already know that story! We just lived through it." Dipper groaned.
"If we're living through that story right now, then how does it end?" Soos asked. Before anyone could answer Dipper got a worried look.
"Guys, do you see that?" He asked nervously and we noticed that a mysterious light was at the end of the tunnel.
"It's kinda hard to miss." I joked as we fell closer to it.
"What is that?"
"Oh no!"
"Where are we going?
"Not good!"
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" We screamed as we fell into the light, and back up the top!
"Where...where are we?" Stan asked once we all stood up.
"Look! The Shack! Which means... we came right back out the top." Mabel deduced.
"And I don't think any time has passed. It must be some kind of wormhole." Dipper added.
"Yeah, dude. That sounds science-y enough to be true." Soos agreed.
"Wow, that's unexpected." I said.
"But that's impossible. No one will believe us." Stan said in shock.
"Maybe this is one story we should keep to ourselves." Mabel suggested.
"Agreed." We all chorused, and before I could react...STAN FELL IN THE FLIPPING HOLE! Okay, I expected that...but seriously what the odds of someone falling in a hole twice in one day?
"He'll be fine." Mabel said simply.
"Yeah...3...2...1..." I counted and Stan popped back up.
"Ug...is it bedtime?" Stan moaned.
"Nope, to us it's only been less than a minute." I said.
"Well I'm going to bed." Stan said and headed to the Shack. We all looked at each other and laughed.
This was a unique day, but then again, I'm in Gravity Falls.
Author's Note:
I AM ALIVE! YES! BROKE FREE FROM SCHOOL TO WRITE THIS! IT TOOK FOREVER!
Okay I'm good. Hope you all liked this chapter, I'm so sorry school got in the way...Wait it's not my fault it got in the way...*sighs*...still gotta do the work though...
Anyway, please LEAVE A REVIEW! I really wanna know what you guys think about this! It helps me gain inspiration to write! Also Happy early Halloween since I don't think I'll get another chapter in before then.
Guest: Few things. 1: Awwww, I'm so happy you like these. That comment made my day! 2: Great costume choice...not sure what it is exactly but every costume is cool. 3: Yay, Namily shipper! Welcome to the fandom! And 4: You'll have to wait and see for when that chapter comes out. (I've been planning it for a while I think you're gonna like it;).