Chapter 28: Happy Birthday Soos!
(Emily's P.O.V)
"Darn it, where is my phone charger?" I muttered for the fifth time as I looked under the counter. I sighed and remembered the twins went outside so I walked out to ask them is they've seen it.
"Hey guys I lost my char...what...?" I trailed off as I saw them whacking each other with foam bats and laughing.
"Okay, backing away slowly." I muttered and closed the door to The Shack.
"Welp cue theme song." I sighed to myself and went behind the desk of the Mystery Shack, only to find that my charger was on the window. I put it away where I would remember as Soos swept the floor. Mabel and Dipper came inside and were giving off goofy grins.
"All that batting made me hungry. To the candy!" Mabel cheered and grabbed her twin, rushing over to the vending machine. They inserted a coin and the machine started up.
"Candy! Candy! Candy!" They chanted only for the candy wrapper to get stuck on the rings.
"No! It's trapped!" Dipper cried in horror, pressing his hands in the glass.
"Everything is terrible forever!" Mabel exclaimed.
"Psst. Hey, dudes! You wanna know a trick?" Soos asked and went over to the machine.
"Bibbity-boop. Wop!" Soos elbowed it causing the glass to open exposing the candy to the hungry twins.
"A genius taught me that once." Soos explained grabbing several amounts of candy for the twins. "This just in: weather stations are calling for a... candy blizzard!"
"Forget taking off the wrappers! I'm eating these now!" Mabel exclaimed, stuffing her face.
"Mabel, no! Those wrappers aren't for eating!" I cried rushing over to her.
"Soos, you are the greatest human ever to live." Dipper started to Soos as his sister started choking.
"Agh! Oh! That was a mistake!" Mabel cried, collapsing into my arms. I patted her head.
"I told you."
"Hey, no sweat, dude. I'd do anything for the Pines family." Soos explained putting spare change in the machine.
"Soos! I need to scratch myself in two places at once!" Stan cried for the other room.
"Why can't you use both your hands!?" I called back.
"Because of complications. Is Soos coming or not?" Stan responded.
"I said I would do anything for the Pines family and I meant anything. Coming Mr. Pines!" Soos called and walked out.
"Hack! Haw!" Mabel cried spitting up the last bits of candy and I rubbed her back.
"I'm okay, I'm good." She assured me as Dipper noticed Soos' wallet.
"Whoa! Better makes sure he gets his wallet back." He said, picking it up and Mabel rushed over.
"Wait! I've never seen Soos' wallet before. Don't you wanna learn some Soos secrets?" She asked.
"I don't know if we should be...Wo-oah! Soos has a membership to Laser Tag? Ha ha, I didn't know they let grown-ups in there." Dipper gasped, seeing the card.
"Okay, so we are doing this. Dipper please promise me that you'll NEVER go through a ladies purse." I pleaded. Dipper just stared at me as Mabel found her own treasure.
"And look, emergency salami! Soos, my respect for you has grown." She said in admiration. Dipper then took out the drivers license.
"Jésus Alzamirano Ramirez. Organ donor. Birthday: July 13th...Wait a minute. That's today." Dipper said in realization.
"Woah..." Mabel gasped.
"That's weird. I wonder why he didn't tell anyone." Dipper wondered.
"Uh-duh! It's probably because he wants someone to throw him a surprise party; I can relate. I've been waiting for a surprise party my whole life." Mabel explained and Candy ran up behind her threw confetti at her happily.
"Surprise."
Mabel merely turned around and glared. "Too little, too late, Chiu."
"Awwwww." Candy sighed as she walked away.
"I don't know guys, maybe we should leave this be...and where did Mabel go?" I asked realizing that Mabel had somehow vanished. I facepalmed and sighed heavily.
"Come on guys! We're burning daylight!" Mabel cried from outside and I walked outside with Dipper beside me. We saw Mabel carrying a whole bunch of party supplies.
"Should I question how she managed to get all that supplies, or blindly follow her?" I questioned. Dipper gave me a shrug and I sighed.
"Yeah I don't know why I asked that, let's go!" I cried, clapping my hands and followed Mabel into the backyard.
Later, we had several amounts of decorations up and plenty of food to feed a small army. Not to mention Toby was on the stage getting ready to preform. I walked around, admiring the handy work. I then looked up at Grenda painting the sign reading 'IT'S YOUR BIRTHDAY YO!'
"More exclamation points! More I say!" Mabel exclaimed excitedly.
"Wow, you guys thought of everything!" Grenda said, impressed as Dipper put a cake on the table.
"Grenda, twins are born birthday experts." Mabel explained simply.
"We've shared every birthday together, so we know how to make them perfect." Dipper added and the two high fives touched heels and blew their party blowers.
"Okay that was adorable, remind to record you doing that next time." I laughed happily.
"Hey. places everyone! I hear footsteps!" Dipper gasped and we gathered behind the table.
"Everyone be QUIET!" Grenda exclaimed as Soos, wearing a blindfold and being led by Candy, appeared.
"Alright, you promised a giant hummingbird, so I'm expecting to see a giant hummingbird." Soos said sincerely and Candy reached for the blindfold.
"Three, two, one..." Candy then undid the blindfold, revealing the party to Soos.
"Huh?" Soos questioned and the rest of us jumped from behind the table.
"Surprise!" We all cried and walked over to a shocked Soos.
"Happy birthday, you king on Earth! We got everything you love. Cake-flavored pizza, pizza-flavored cake, and one more treat..." Mabel gestured to a tent labeled 'Razzle Dazzler' and the curtain opened revealing Toby Determined in a red sequin leotard.
"Razzle dazzle, friends! It's the Razz-dazzler! This is what my life has become." He said as he danced and I shuddered.
"I...I..." Soos stuttered and we all gathered around him.
"Quick! Everyone pose for the birthday smiles memory album!" Mabel cried and we gathered around Soos and Mabel snapped the picture. Though when we saw it, Soos sad face made us uneasy.
"Soos, what's wrong?" Dipper asked worriedly.
"It's uh. It's nothing. I, uh. I gotta go fix a pipe or something." Soos said quickly and walked away with his head down and fists clench.
"Soos?" I called asked him and sighed when he didn't even respond. "Ug, I knew this was a bad idea..."
"Hey, did you guys see Soos? What happened to...?" Wendy asked, walking up with Stan, then stopped when she saw the part decor. "Oh no. Oh no, no."
"Yeah, we kinda figured out that this was bad idea." I muttered as I walked over with the twins.
"Okay, you guys didn't know so it's not your fault, but Soos hates his birthday." Wendy revealed.
"What?" The twins gasped.
"It's a total mystery. I guess he's been like this since he was a kid. Some weird personal biz." Wendy explained.
"There's gotta be something we can do!" Mabel protested.
"We've tried everything." Wendy said.
"I even petitioned the government to have this day removed from calenders. Now I'm not allowed on airplanes." Stan explained holding up a mug shot of himself stamped 'BANNED' and 'DANGER FLIGHT RISK'.
"Okay one, how did removing a day involve being on an airplane in any way? And second, why on Earth would you carry around your own mug shot?" I asked and we were all quiet for a moment.
"I'm just not gonna answer that." Stan deadpanned.
"Which question?" Mabel asked.
"Yes."
After that we all walked toward the porch and saw Soos sitting in the steps and staring at a postcard before sighing sadly.
"I don't know, guys. Maybe we should just leave him alone, you know?" Wendy reasoned.
"No one should be alone on their birthday. There's gotta be a way to cheer him up. We just have to try harder." Dipper countered. I couldn't help but notice the look Stan was giving him.
"You're right, Dipper! It's time for us to bring out the big guns!" Mabel exclaimed and I sighed before turning around.
"Candy, get the blindfold again!"
After getting Soos blindfolded again, we stuffed ourselves into the car and rode to Big Gunz Laser Tag. Soos didn't seem in the mood to fight us, thankfully, and we led him inside easily.
"Alright, guys. Blindfold me once, shame on you. Blindfold me twice- wait a minute. Hot dog smell? Sticky floors? Future sounds?" Soos questioned before taking off his blindfold and gasped.
"Laser tag? I-I love laser tag. How'd you guys know?" He asked.
"Um, we definitely didn't rifle through your wallet." Mabel laughed awkwardly before the announcer started speaking through the t.v.
"Welcome to the year 8000. Society: collapsed. Fog machines: everywhere." He said.
"Huh, that's fun." I commented.
"Are these walls just mattresses spray painted purple?" Wendy questioned feeling one of them.
"Think this place used to be a mattress store." Stan said.
"I guess that's one way to reuse mattresses." I shrugged and we put on our gear.
"I'm gonna dominate everyone!" Grenda exclaimed proudly.
"And I shall witness your victory!" Candy cheered.
I laughed then put on my vest. I noticed that my necklace was handing slightly over it, so to make sure it didn't get in the way, I tucked it under my shirt and grabbed a gun. We then stood by the entrance and waited for the alarm to sound.
"I-I don't know, guys. I'm not sure I'm up to this today." Soos said, unsure about the game.
"Just give it a chance. We'll do one round and see how you feel." I smiled.
"Don't worry, Soos. As soon as you start playing with us, you're gonna have a great time." Dipper assured him.
"We promise, no matter what happens, we won't leave your side." Mabel vowed.
"Well, I guess I could give it a shot." Soos said, cracking a smile.
"That's the spirit!" I exclaimed happily and the announcer then came on.
"Prepare for laser battle! In three, two..." The buzzer then sounded and the sign read 'GO!'. Wendy, Stan, Candy And Grenda ran in. I glanced at the twins and back at Soos, I couldn't help but be torn whether or not to stay or join the twins.
"Wu-oh. Better tie down these cowboys." Soos said while tying his laces. I then turned and saw the twins run to the room, only for it to become a portal to the future. I quickly rushed after them.
"Whoa, this is even cooler than I imagined! Look how real these laser guys are!" Mabel exclaimed and kicked Lolph.
"Mabel, don't!" I cried.
"Kick deflected! Thank you for buying Digi-cod: the smart codpiece!" Digi cod said.
"Wait what?" Mabel questioned and I grabbed her and Mabel.
"No time, we gotta go, now!" I exclaimed and tried to pull them to the exit.
"Oh no! Soos!" Dipper cried and the portal closed as I ran into the wall and fell back.
"Ow...that could have gone better." I moaned and rubbed my head.
"Soos!" Dipper cried again and Mabel started kicked the wall in frustration.
"Nice try. But that's solid time-tanium, kid! There's only one way out of here!" Lolph said.
"Through me!" We turned to see Blendin's floating head and hands. We stared and he turned to his wristwatch.
"Oh uh..." He started to fiddle with is, going through different scenery. "Sorry... C-come on..."
"Take your time." I spat sarcastically as I stood up and he changed back to his grey uniform.
"Through me! And that's, what it would be like if I'd just...gotten it right the very first chance, but it's still as effective." He said.
"Yeah...moments gone." I muttered as the twins gasped.
"The time traveler guy! What did you say your name was again? Blendo... Blondin..." Mabel questioned and Dipper snapped his fingers.
"Blar-Blar!" He said.
"There it is!"
"It's Blendin! Blendin Blenjamin Blandin! How could you not know my name after you ruined my life?" He exclaimed in disbelief. The twins looked at each other and at me.
"Is there something we're missing?" Mabel asked me.
"Uh...well I only remember the serious déjà vu, which had to with time warping ooooooooooooooooooh. Yeah, that's why he's mad." I said in 'realization'.
"Still out of the loop." Dipper said and Blendin groaned.
"Initiate flashback!" Blendin cried and pressed a button his wrist watch. "It was after you stole my time device to win your stupid pig! I was cast out of the Time Anomaly Removal Crew; my whole life's purpose. And then I was given ten squared life sentences in time prison. I spent every day since then planning my vengeance."
"Could have gone without the mashed potato smashing." I said as I covered both of the twins eyes during that part, and Blendin turned off the screen.
"And now finally, it has come!" He exclaimed happily.
"Look, we're sorry about all that, but we're in the middle of something really important right now." Dipper said urgently.
"It's our friend's birthday today, and we promised we wouldn't leave his side!" Mabel added.
"So let's just forgive and forget, for the better." I pleaded.
"What?! You think some dumb birthday matters right now? Do you know where you are? Welcome...to Globnar!" Blendin cried and the other end of the room opened to reveal several people fighting each other with neon lights and monsters.
"Is this a reality show? Are we in Japan?" Mabel asked.
"It's gladiatorial time combat!" Blendin exclaimed.
"So it is what she said." I joked and Mabel laughed. Suddenly a man in a future green uniform fell to the ground while another was lifted up by a magic rock and the golden Time Orb flew to his hand.
"The winner gets a precious Time Wish, and then decides the loser's fate!" Blendin exclaimed.
"N-n-no! Please!" The loser please shaking with dear. The victor put a thumbs down and smirked proudly. I glared as the loser screamed in horror as he was vacuumed away by a purple beam.
"And the two of you are officially challenged. The third can't go back, cause she'll just help you escape." Blendin said pointing to me.
"...yeah he's right." I grumbled.
"Dundgren! Get me my war-paint." Blendin exclaimed and walked over to the Time Officer.
"Guys, we need a way out of here! But how?" Mabel asked and Dipper noticed the time device Lolph had.
"I have an idea." He smirked.
"Hang in there Soos, we're coming for you." Mabel said and I looked over at Blendin.
"I'll keep an eye on those guys, you two get the time tape measure thing." I said and walked over to Dundgren and Blendin.
"So...time travel, that's fun." I commented and the two looked at me in a thoughtful manner.
"Have we met before?" Dundgren asked.
"Uh, you did appear in Gravity Falls for a moment and I was there. So, that must be it." I shrugged as he got the war paint. Then I heard Mabel clear her throat.
"Oh my stars! Could it be? My little, uh-hum...Lolphie! It's me! Your great-great-great-great-great-great-great grandmother! From the past times." Mabel said happily and I held in a laugh.
"Gam-Gam?" Lolph asked and I turned away from Dundgren and Blendin so I could let out a giggle.
"Yeah, neon green is good, this is a good color for me. It's fierce..." Blendin then noticed Dipper taking the time device. "Who? What? No! You can't let them escape! Stop them!"
"The jig is up! Let's go!" I exclaimed and rushed over to the twins as Blendin dove to grab us, tripping Dundgren in the process.
"Gam Gam! How could you?" Lolph cried, feeling betrayed.
"I ain't no one's Gam Gam, sucka! You just got time-tricked!" Mabel exclaimed and I laughed.
"Noooooooooooooo!" Dundgren and Blendin cried.
"Hurry! Back to Soos' birthday!" Mabel exclaimed and Dipper took the measure and extended the tape.
"Okay! I think...I've...got it!" He cried and we grabbed each others hands before disappearing and reappearing in midair!
"Aaaaaaaaaaaaah! Oof!" We exclaimed as we fell on a mattress.
"Uh... Are we back?" Mabel groaned.
"Oh no, look!" Dipper cried pointed to a sign that read 'Mr. Zzz's Mattress Store'. "Guys the laser place is a mattress store! We went too far in the past!"
"Time travel, man! Why you gotta be so complicated?" Mabel groaned and I laughed before we heard the other 3 time travelers appearing and ducked behind the bed.
"It looks like they overshot their destination by 10 years." Dundgren reported.
"I don't see them. You better find those kids!" Blendin exclaimed.
"You'll get your justice, Blendin." Lolph assured him.
"I'm gonna keep stammering until you find them! I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I...!" Blendin stammered as he walked out and I rolled my eyes.
"I hate that guy." Lolph deadpanned.
"Let's move." Dundgren responded, and the two flipped over the mattresses, fist bumped and causally walked out the door.
"Okay. We just gotta to go forward 10 years. We can be back before Soos even realizes we were gone." Dipper said as we crawled out for the under the bed.
"Sounds like a plan." I commented as Mabel gasped.
"Oh no! The timey thing, it's busted! Can you fix it?" She asked seeing the device spark blue electricity, and having a dent.
"M-m-maybe. I need some tools. And I think I know where to get some." Dipper answered and we turned to a sign that read 'MYSTERY SHACK 1 mile'.
"That's convenient." I commented. We quickly walked out of the store and headed down the street.
"Let's try to lay low. We don't want to change the future. Or cause the future. I forget how this works exactly." Dipper said. I noticed Sheriff Blubs with a afro, Tats getting a tattoo (one of many to come), Tyler listening to a boom box, and a defaced billboard of Bud and baby Gideon.
"Wow, ten years in the past." Mabel said, looking in awe as young Robbie chasing Thompson with a water gun. "Everything is same-y, but also different-y."
We then came to a dance studio where we saw Toby dancing in a similar outfit we saw earlier, which is technically later. Ug time travel!
"A dah buh dee, dah buh dee do, yeah! Look out Broadway, here I come!" Toby danced happily and looked at the mirror. Mabel then knocked on the window, catching his attention.
"This dream goes nowhere, Toby!" She yelled and we quickly walked away.
"Awww, marbles." Toby sighed.
"Cause the future it is." I muttered as we continued walking down the sidewalk. Wendy and Tambry then rode up in tricycles. I quickly turned my head away and covered my face with my hand. Mrs. Gleeful, pushing baby Gideon in a stroller, noticed me and waved and I awkwardly waved back.
"Whoah!" Dipper cried.
"Oops sorry." Tambry apologized and Wendy whispered in her ear.
"My friend thinks you're cute." She laughed pointing at Dipper.
"Oh-my-gosh, Tambry! Shut up!" Wendy cried, pushing her friend off her tricycle.
"Ow! Hey!" Tambry cried as Dipper blushed and laughed.
"Thank you. I mean...you're super young, so this is weird." Dipper said.
"Heheh, now you know how she feels, creep." Mabel laughed, giving Dipper a playful punch and we walked away as Tambry and Wendy rode off.
"Heh heh, yeah, I-uh. Huh. Wow...Wooow..." Dipper muttered.
"Come on Dipper! Hurry up!" I called after him and he ran up to us.
When we finally made it to the Mystery Shack and hid behind a tree because Stan was giving a tour, and would recognize us if he spotted any of us.
"Step right up, ladies and gentlemen, to see my latest attraction. A man, made of wax, and several other people, made of wax, It's a whole wax exhibit." Stan announced to the group as we took off our laser tag vests.
"Alright. The coast is clear." Dipper said.
"Nows our chance!" Mabel added and we rushed over to the window. I helped the twins up through it and was about to go myself but I felt a familiar nuzzle on my leg and saw a young Gompers. I smiled, gave him a pat on the head, and climbed into the window.
"Hah! Bingo!" Dipper smiled and picked up the screwdriver. "Alright, let's see..."
"Ah, c'mon candy. Fall. Fall." I turned and saw young Soos looking up at the vending machine sadly, I couldn't help but smile at how cute he was. Mabel, wanting to help as always, walked over.
"Allow me. You just need to know a guy on the inside. Bippidy-boop. Wop! Jackpot!" Mabel copied Soos' tactic to open the machine and pulled out som candy before gasping, realizing who exactly she helped.
"Thanks, dawg." Soos said, taking the candy, and walking away. "You must be some kind of genius."
"Alright. I think I've got this thing working." Dipper smiled triumphantly.
"Nice job, now we can...gah!" I was cut off by Mabel tackling us.
"Dipper, Emily! Look." Mabel exclaimed and forced us to turn to Soos.
"No. Way." Dipper said, eyes wide. Soos looked up at the Staff Shirt and back at his own as he smiled. Abuelita then walked over to him.
"Mi precioso. You keep wandering off. You don't want to be late for your big day." She said taking his hand and leading him out the door.
"Sorry, Abuelita." Soos apologized.
"Big day? This could be the birthday where that personal biz went down. We could finally find out why Soos hates his birthday." Mabel gasped in realization.
"Uh, duh! We're not just ten years in the past, we are EXACTLY ten years in the past. So, of course it's Soos' birthday!" I exclaimed, while facepalming.
"Okay, Emily's in!" Mabel cried, pointing at me, then gave puppy dog eyes to Dipper.
"Please! Can we go?" She leaded and Dipper looked at the time device and sighed.
"Alright. But let's be quick." He urged.
"You got it! Come on!" Mabel cried and rushed off as Dipper and I rushed after her.
Thankfully, Soos' house hasn't changed in ten years and it was relatively easy to find. We hid in the bushes and git a perfect view of the table where Soos was sitting.
"I want a piece of birthday cake!" A kid cried while running around with some other kids. Meanwhile Soos was with his cousins.
"Who's a handsome birthday boy?"
"It's you!"
"Soos, you are such a lady's man." Abuelita teased while holding a cake box.
"They're my cousins, grandma, gross." Soos laughed.
"I got you a racecar cake." Abuelita excitedly opened the box revealing said cake.
"Man, I don't know why Soos hate his birthdays, this looks great." Dipper commented.
"Ssh, keep watching." I shushed as Soos licked the frosting off of the race-car and noticed a kid sitting at the head of the table.
"Uh, sorry dude, but could you move seats? That's the seat of honor." Soos asked.
"Uh, who's it for?" The kid asked, probably wondering why the seat didn't belong to the actual birthday boy. At least that's what I would be thinking.
"Oh, heh. It's for my dad actually. I haven't seen him in like... eight years. But he's coming today!" Soos explained and heard the doorbell.
"That must be him!" Soos cried, wiped his face, adjusted his hat, and rushed to the door. The twins and I looked at each other with concern and carefully made out way to the side window. That's where we saw Soos breath in heavily and out.
"Alright Soos. Today's the big day. Be cool. Be. Cool." He told himself and opened the door only to find a mailman.
"Postcard for...Soos." The mailman said and handed the 'Hello! From New Orleans' postcard to Soos who turned it over and read it.
"Sorry, champ. Couldn't make it this year. Real busy again. See you next year for sure. Dad." Soos read sadly. Abuelita and Reggie were listening behind him.
"Hey, don't sweat it, cuz. You'll see him next year." Reggie tried to assure him.
"Heh, yeah. Next year." Soos sighed and pulled out a box filled with the same type of postcard just from a different places. I couldn't help but glare at the thought Soos' dad was just a huge jerk. It wasn't fair! Soos was amazing and his dad wasn't even trying to see him! Just running around the world. I hope he got arrested.
"Uh, I'm gonna go lay down. You party without me dudes." Soos said and sadly took the box and walked away.
"Wait! What about your presents?" Abuelita asked and picked up a wrapped keyboard and pressed a button causing it to say 'Yayah!' Meanwhile the twins and I slumped against the wall.
"So that's why Soos hates his birthday. It's the day he realized his dad wasn't coming back." Dipper said in realization.
"So, how much partying can fix that?" Mabel asked.
"More than ten years apparently." I sighed suddenly Dipper was squirted by water, Robbie revealing to be the culprit.
"Heheh, dorks. Young Robbie!" He cried, pumping his fist.
"Robert Stacey Valentino! You better apologize!" I exclaimed and reached for his gun, only for him to scream and run away.
"Wait, his middle name is Stacey?" Dipper questioned and I sighed as we walked over to Soos' room where he was sulking. I then noticed Abuelita by the door with a plate of cookies.
"Ay, Soos' father is a deadbeat! ¡Si alguna vez muestra su carota por aquí, se la voy a partir pieza por pieza!" She cursed and I smiled at that. I really liked her character.
"Ahem." Abuelita then walked in Soos' room. "Soo-oo-oos. I made you cookies shaped like dinosaurs."
"I don't want cookies. I wanna see Dad again." Soos said grimly, Abuelita then patted his leg.
"And he wants to see you, he's just... busy." Abuelita's voice then trailed off.
"Busy in New Orleans." Soos scoffed.
"Aye, yes...Trust me, you will feel better one day." Abuelita assured him. The twins and I just watched sadly.
"Ugh, this is awful." Mabel groaned.
"We promised Soos a happy birthday, but how can we give him that now? This goes beyond anything we know how to fix." Dipper sighed.
"I know this is bad guys, but I'm sure we can help Soos somehow when we get back." I said, trying to cheer them up and they looked at me.
"You really think so?" Mabel asked.
"Yeah, I do. I know what is like to not have a dad, or mom, in your life. All I had was Georgia...and...well she's not important right now. Anyway, I can see why this is bothering Soos, but he's our friend and we won't stop until we help him." I explained and the twins smiled up at me.
"Th-this way!" Blendin cried and we froze.
"Uh-oh. Hide!" Dipper urged and we quickly rushed behind a tree.
"They've gotta be around here somewhere. I-I-I think I heard them!" Blendin exclaimed and turned to a tree.
"Freeze!" Lolph cried and shot his laser gun at a tree Robbie was behind. He ran away crying, poor kid.
"Trace their chrono-signatures." Lolph said and fiddled with some sort of device.
"Man, the sooner I defeat those kids in Globnar, the sooner I can win my time wish." Blendin said eagerly sitting in a picnic table.
"Tell you what I'd do if I had a time wish. Retire early. Spend more time with the kids." Dundgren said in deep thought.
"Naing Niang Niang Niang Niang, with the kids! Don't you know a time wish can do literally anything? Any impossible problem solved just like that? I mean, imagine the possibilities." Blendin ranted and Dipper's eyes widened.
"Wait, Mabel, that's it! The time wish! If we defeat Blendin in that space battle..."
"...Then we can wish that Soos' dad came to his twelfth birthday!" Mabel exclaimed.
"And Soos' birthdays would be fixed forever. All of them!" Dipper finished, snapping his fingers.
"That's actually not a bad idea." I commented.
"But do you really think we can win Globnar?" Mabel asked.
"It's the only chance we have. Besides, it's for Soos. He would do the same for us." Dipper said and we looked over at Soos in his room, pushing away the plates of cookies away.
"Yeah, he would." I smiled and we all walked out from behind the tree with our arms raised.
"Here we are Blendin. We surrender." Dipper announced.
"Its them!" Blendin cried.
"Freeze!" Dundgren cried, pointing his gun at us as Lolph pointed his own gun at him.
"Careful, they're from the past. They might have powder muskets or slap bracelets." He wanted his partner.
"What is it with people and slap bracelets?" I questioned as we walked over.
"Look guys, no tricks this time. We're ready to challenge you, okay?" Dipper assured them.
"Yes! Let the Globnar begin! Prepare... for... GLOBNAAA-" Blendin's voice was then cut off and a green mute symbol floated in front of his mouth.
"Hey, turns out I can mute him." Lolph said.
"Man, I wish we'd known that earlier." Dundgren sighed.
"Heheh." I laughed as they got ready to send us back to the future, and I made a reference...dandy.
"Initializing!" Lolph cried, pressing a button on his wrist.
We disappeared and reappeared in the arena wearing handcuffs. Several people were chanting 'Globnar' while happily bumping their fists. We were shown on a large screen and suddenly the floor opened up and Time Baby floated out of it.
"Silence!" He exclaimed and most of the arena quieted down.
"Wooh! Oh yea!" A random guy cheered and was shot by Time Baby's laser eyes.
"That is one big baby." Mabel commented.
"Welcome Globnar tributes! I have a very important nap to get to so let's make this quick. You each have a chance to settle your time-feud through gladiatorial combat." Time Baby announced.
"Excuse me Time Baby, but this one was brought by accident, what should we do with her?" Lolph asked and lightly shoved me forward, my necklace then slipped out from under my shirt, revealing the emerald and there was a collective gasp throughout the arena.
"Could it be? You have brought a forbidden player to Globnar: The Emerald." Time Baby gasped and everyone started to freak out and talked to one another excitedly or fearfully. Blendin stood there gaping like a fish and was frozen at the spot.
"I'm sorry what?" I asked and suddenly my handcuffs disappeared.
"Apologies, Emily...Jewel, it is Jewel for you now right?" Dundgren asked.
"Uh yeah, what exactly is going...?"
"Forgive me!" Blendin cried, suddenly getting over his shock, dropped down on his knees and bowed down, grabbing my feet.
"Okay, can anyone who won't beat around the bush and isn't 12 please tell me what is happening?" I pleaded.
"Allow me to explain. Throughout history, there are many figures that, due to their contributions to time, are forbidden from ever being challenged to Globnar. You fall into that category." Time Baby explained.
"Okay, cool, can you name a few that I would know?" I asked.
"Well, a few U.S presidents, several world leaders, and Gandhi." Time Baby said.
"Ah, that makes sense, but why am I forbidden? I didn't do anything...special." I asked.
"That is classified, but since you are not to participate in the games, please, have a seat." Time Baby said and a floating seat appeared next to him.
"Okay, one sec." I said and tried to turn to the twins, but Blendin was still holding onto my legs.
"Let go." I growled and he shot up.
"I'm sorry." He squeaked, I rolled my eyes and I turned to the twins.
"Okay, you're gonna do great at this! Good luck and I'll be cheering for you." I assured them and gave them a hug before being led by Lolph and Dundgren to the seat.
"Thanks Emily!" Mabel called after me and I smiled, waving back.
"I'm telling you, she looks different from the history books." Dundgren muttered and I cleared my throat.
"Yeah okay, can you just refrain from telling me anything about what's going to be or...is already my legacy. Dang, time travel..." I muttered and sat down I'm my seat. A robot them flew over me holding the bottle.
"You will have until Time Baby finishes drinking the cosmic sand in this hourglass to complete the competition." He explained and attempted to give Time Baby the bottle.
"No!"
"Come on."
"Ow!"
"It's good for you."
"Wah!" Time Baby cried and I sighed.
"Get ready, kids. When I get that time wish, you'll wish you were never born. Or rather, you'll wish you were born, because I'm gonna wish you were never born!" Blendin exclaimed.
"Dream on. There's two of us." Dipper said.
"And we have hair!" Mabel added.
"Oh-oh, yeah? Well I have training!" Blendin then twirled his spear expertly. "What do you think I did in prison all that time?"
"Uh oh." Mabel panicked.
"Let the Globnar...BEGIN!" Time Baby announced and the handcuffs disappeared. The twins glared while Blendin screams loudly and the games began.
Dipper and Blendin were fighting with sticks and at one point Blendin pushed Dipper away. Mabel tried to jump him and was pushed away by Blendin as well. He jumped over the hand if the clock they were standing on, but the twins were tripped. Next was a race that the twins won. I cheered for them and was happy to see other people joining me. There was also a weird chess game that was cut off by a cyclops. Eventually the score was tied at 244.
Everlasting other games I recognized from the montage. Blendin chasing the kids in a giant wheel, Mabel and Blendin basically having a hot dog eating contest, fighting in robotic cuckoo clock suits, having a wheelbarrow race, Blendin and Mabel fighting with spears on unicycles on a tight rope while Dipper swam through clocks to get away from a time shark (he screamed the whole time), and playing a version of Jenga. Soon the three had pushed the monster from earlier into the safe room at the side and sighed heavily. The score was 764 to 763, Blendin winning by one point.
"Very good. You have escaped the Cyclocks." Time Baby congratulated.
"Yes! Blendin for the almost-win!" Blendin cheered.
"There is only one final challenge for Globnar. An ancient game, thousands of years old, chosen for its exemplification of pure strategy: The ancient art... of Laser Tag!" Time Baby announced and a laser tag course appeared.
"Of course I the one thing we were trying to get back to." I said, giving a hollow laugh.
"The one who touches the victory orb first will win!" Time Baby explained.
"Laser tag? Seriously?" Dipper questioned.
"Just go with it!" I yelled from the stands.
"Oh, I know it doesn't seem that challenging now, but just wait till they turn on that fog machine. You'll be done for! You just wait until ya..."
"Hit!" Blendin was cut off by Dipper shooting his vest multiple times. I couldn't help but laugh.
"Aw, man." Blendin sighed.
"Mabel, grab the orb!" Dipper exclaimed and Mabel rushed to the top of the pyramid and touched the orb.
"Got it!" She cried and everything went white. Time Baby then fished his cosmic sand.
"It is finished!" He announced, the robot then patted his back, causing Time Baby to burp and the crowd cheered as Dipper and Mabel's score went up to 999.
"No! No! No! No! Nooooo!" Blendin cried.
"Yes!" The Twins high-fived each other and I ran over to them and gave them a hug.
"You guys were amazing!" I said and they returned it.
"Thanks for cheering us on." Mabel said and Time Baby floated over to us.
"You have made victory in Globnar. Before I give you your time wish, tell us; what fate have you decided for the loser?" Time Baby asked as Dundgren and Lolph held onto Blendin.
"Oh, jeez..." He gulped.
"DEATH!" Mabel exclaimed on the top of her lungs.
"Mabel!" Dipper scolded as his sister sighed.
"Sorry. Got carried away..." She admitted.
"Uh, give us a moment." I said and we turned to one another.
"So Blendin did try to wish us out of existence, but it was kind of our fault for ruining his life." Dipper said.
"Yeah, and he's kind of too sad to be a real bad guy." Mabel added.
"Maybe if we treat him right in the present, he'll turn out better in the future." Dipper suggested.
"Wise words Dipper, wise words." I nodded, Dipper then turned to Time Baby.
"Okay. As long as you keep an eye on him, we'd like to set Blendin free, and restore his position at the Time Anomaly Correction Unit." Dipper said.
"And give him pretty hair!" Mabel added.
"So be it." Time Baby said and did so with Blendin, having the handcuffs removed a some hair appearing on his head.
"Wh-what? You'd do that for me?" He asked and realized it was true. "I got my job back! I feel like hugging somebody."
"I can kill you in eight different ways." Lolph deadpanned.
"Yes sir." Blendin stood straight and I walked over to him.
"Congratulations." I said and held out my arms, he hugged me and started balling.
"Thank you!"
"Uh huh...can you let go now?" I said, patting his back. He let go and sniffled for a moment.
"Now, children. What is it that you want for your time wish?" Time Baby asked, rubbing his face, and the orb floated between Dipper and Mabel.
"Thank you, but the wish...isn't for us." Mabel explained.
"Not you? But then who? Who is worthy to receive such power?" Time Baby asked.
"Let's just say, he deserves it more than us." Dipper said simply, and I suddenly got an idea.
"Um hey, can I make a simple request as well?" I asked.
"Yes, what is it you want?" Time Baby asked and I smirked.
"Well..."
*TIME SKIP*
Once we got everything situated Blendin transported us back to our time and we saw Soos there, really confused. The twins were all scuffed and dirty while I was carrying a box with wrapping paper that was shifting color every few seconds with a white bow.
"Soos!" We exclaimed.
"G-guys!" Soos gasped and we ran up to him.
"We're so sorry we left you hanging dude. We got caught up in this time travel junk..." Dipper started.
"And there was a time cyclops..." Mabel continued.
"And don't forget about the..."
"Heheh."
"Time race!" The two said in unison.
"But, the point is, Soos, we think we know how to fix your birthday." Mabel said.
"Woah, really? Wait, you guys did all of that...for me?" Soos asked, touched bu their thoughtfulness.
"Of course they did Soos, you mean so much to them." I said simply.
"And that's not all." Blendin then pressed a button on his wristwatch and revealed the orb to Soos. "Behold your time wish! The power to alter time paradox free in any way you choose."
"We think the only thing that can make you happy is meeting your dad." Dipper explained.
"But the choice is yours." Mabel added.
"You mean I can finally see my dad by touching this thing? And you guys battled through time and space just to get this for me?" Soos asked and took out the New Orleans postcard and stared at it for moment.
"What are you waiting for, Soos?" Dipper asked and Soos glanced at the postcard one more time before putting it away.
"Make a wish." I urged.
"Alright, here goes nothing." Soos said and placed a hand in the orb. A white flash blinded us and wave of lights appeared, cleaning up Mabel and Dipper from Globnar, much to their surprise.
"What the..."
"Wait what?"
"Bam! I fixed you dudes up." Soos smiled.
"But Soos, what about meeting your dad?" Dipper asked.
"Well, birthdays are supposed to be spent with the people who care about you. But you know what, that dude didn't care about me enough to visit me once, let alone fight monsters through time and space like you dudes. I mean, you had a gladiator fight, just to make me happy. I've been being ridiculous this whole time. Whoever my dad was, he can take a hike. I know who my family is now, and it's you dudes. Thanks for giving me the best birthday ever." Soos thanked and gave us all a hug.
"Awwwwww Soos, you're gonna make me cry." I laughed as a few tears ran down my face.
"Are you kidding me?! Do you have any idea what you've just wasted?! Do you how many have died to get the time wish; the wars that were started?!" Blendin exclaimed in shock.
"Oh that's not all dude. I also wished for this slice of infinite pizza. Watch." Soos took a bite out of the pizza and it regenerate after a moment. "And it can do that for like...infinity."
"Oh yeah, okay, cool." Dipper nodded.
"Okay, yeah. Phew. That's a good time wish!" Blendin sighed.
"Clever." I added and Soos turned to us.
"There's still ten minutes before Laser Tag closes. You dudes wanna play?" Soos asked.
"Yeah!" The twins cheered and Soos stuffed the postcard in the trash bin before rushing off with the twins.
"Happy Birthday Soos." The twins chorused.
"I'll be there in a minute!" I called after and turned to Blendin.
"I'm sorry about your job earlier." I apologized.
"Oh yeah, well I can't say it'll be any better now. I just lost Globnar to a couple of kids! I'll be the laugh stock!" Blendin panicked.
"It was two to one." I commented.
"Yeah, but they didn't even know about Globnar until today! It's still a little embarrassing. Also, I nearly dragged a forbidden player into it! Do you know what punishment for that is?!" He exclaimed.
"Ur, no, and please don't tell me." I said and his shoulders slumped. I then got an id3a and put the present down and grabbed a napkin and pen.
"What are you doing?" He asked.
"Whenever you feel bad, or of anyone makes fun of you, show them this." I said and handed him the napkin. He hesitated before taking it and read it aloud.
"To my favorite time traveler Blendin. From, Emily Jewel." He then squealed and gave me a hug. "Thank you thank you thank you! Am I really your favorite!?"
"You're welcome, and yeah you are. At least you look the least threatening, and you brought us home." I said and returned the hug. Once we ended the hug he pocketed the napkin and I picked up the present.
"Bye Blendin, and please be careful." I pleaded.
"I will! Bye Emily!" Blendin waved and disappeared. I sighed heavily.
"Please don't be tricked by the beast with just one eye." I whispered and quickly rushed into the laser tag game. Once the round ended, Mabel winning by a long shot, we all went to The Shack and I finally gave Soos his present.
"It's not a time wish, but I hope you like it." I said, handing it to him.
"If the wrapping paper is this nice, you have nothing to worry about." Soos assured me and undid the bow, only for the box to unfold revealing a jar with dirt on it.
"Whoa...wait is it some sort of plant...or?" Soos questioned and I laughed.
"Nope! It's dirt from the future. I know it's nothing special, but I figured you could put it in your desk or..." I was cut off by Soos giving me the biggest hug he could.
"I LOVE IT! THANK YOU!" He exclaimed and I laughed before returning the hug.
"Happy Birthday Soos."
"Thanks Emily."
Author's Note:
Man, I was really looking forward to this chapter. Mainly since I've been planning the Emily being a 'forbidden player' for a long time. You all might have a suspicion why she is that, but I'm gonna let that sink in for a bit. Can't tell you all my secrets. Hehe.
Anyway, please leave a review on what you thought about this chapter. I really like this episode, and side note: really like Abuelita and Reggie. They seem like great people and family to Soos.
Also, I have amazing news! There is fanart of my story! mew-mew 124 aka purple orchid-8863 on DeviantArt has made some amazing drawings of Emily and Georgia. I highly recommend you check them out!
Now onto last chapters reviews.
Pizza01: I'm glad you agree and it's okay you didn't remember. It was pretty early in the story.
Guest: I can't reveal what the gun is for. Sorry, but that's how it is.