4 The Wizarding World

If Severus had not been in such a hurry, he would never have brought the boy with him to Diagon Alley. As it was, leaving him alone in a hotel room was an even worse idea. There was no telling what mischief he would get up to. Severus had many tasks to accomplish that would be more difficult with a ten-year-old in tow, but it could not be helped. The sooner he managed to free himself of the boy, the better. In the meantime, Severus's only options were to curse Albus Dumbledore under his breath and glower at the brat in hopes that he would behave.

Short of actually holding his hand, Severus had little hope that Potter would do as he was told, not get lost or stay out of trouble. The boy was moving at the speed of a Flobberworm, his eyes as large as saucers, with his mouth open in an expression that would have made Severus doubt his intelligence if he didn't know his genes. His father might have been an idiot, but he was also a genius. Severus preferred not to think about his mother.

"Keep up!" Severus barked again. The boy scurried after him after running into a small girl holding a Kneazle kit. Honestly, what some people considered appropriate. Severus grabbed his hand and pulled him along until they got to Madame Malakin's. The boy didn't seem to notice. He spent all of his time looking everywhere but where he was going.

Once they entered the shop, Severus shoved the boy forward, relieved he no longer had to physically hold on to him. The shop was virtually empty of customers, and as long as Severus kept an eye on them, it should be safe enough here.

"Hello, Dears," a witch in her twenties wearing a mustard-colored, finely-tailored robe greeted them. "How can I help you? Too young for Hogwarts." The last part, she muttered to herself as she appraised Harry carefully.

"He is starting Hogwarts this year, actually," Severus corrected her caustically. "We might as well order uniforms today. He will also need a standard wardrobe. His was lost in … a house fire."

"Oh. Poor dear! I'm Meghan," she told the boy, helping him onto a stool as the magic tape began to take his measurements. "Cloaks too?"

"Light and winter," Severus confirmed.

"Do you have any requests for colors, dear?" Meghan asked, gesturing as an assortment of samples floated their way.

Despite what should have been a routine shopping trip other than the magical tape measuring, Potter looked utterly baffled. He reached out and delicately stroked the sample cloaks as if he had no idea what they were. Severus grumbled under his breath, breaking off a curse at the last minute. He stood up and began inspecting the wares himself.

"Not this one," he informed her, sifting through the various garments. "The clasps are not strong enough. He's small, but the cloak will last him, and we don't want it to break under boisterous wear. This fabric will tear too easily. Really, madam? What are you playing at with this? Have you seen a winter in Scotland?"

Severus continued, even going so far as to choose the colors. He didn't know for sure what House Potter would be sorted into, but it was a good bet he'd be a Gryffindor. He knew the boy's parents, and he had known him long enough to know that nothing contradicted that. A fair number of abused children were sorted into Slytherin due to exhibiting needed cunning and self-sufficiency. Severus didn't want to consider that possibility. He chose black for Potter's cloak and robes in greens and grays. Potter would need muggle-type attire that most students wore on weekends and summers, as well as shoes. Severus had meant it when he said the boy had nothing. He had seen the pathetic rags the child's relatives had foisted on him. He'd been embarrassed by better than that at the boy's age.

He had the goods sent to their room at the Leaky Cauldron. Gesturing for the boy to follow, he turned on his heel. No one had entered the store while they were there, but the door opened before he got to it. He carefully appraised the newcomer without appearing to. It wasn't someone he knew, and he decided the person wasn't suspicious. Severus grabbed Potter's hand, nonetheless. It was better than taking chances.

The child had said next to nothing in the clothing store, and while his eyes were still roving Diagon Alley, he did not ask to go into the Quidditch or joke shop or for candy or ice cream. As they walked along, Severus let the boy's hand go, and he kept up. He had noticed that every other brat seemed to have a toy or treat or be begging for one. Potter didn't say a word. He could tell the boy was full of questions by looking at him. Severus knew his demeanor discouraged asking them. That was a floodgate he did not desire opening.

Gladrags was a different experience than Madam Malakin's. For one thing, it was full of wizards and witches of all ages due to its variety of merchandise. It was noisy and crowded, and Severus almost took them right back out as soon as they came in. Then he saw Potter's face.

"Wow!"

The exclamation was uttered under the boy's breath and so small that Severus wasn't even sure he really heard it. He looked down at the boy, a sneer ready on his lips. He said nothing, though. Other than magical merchandise, Gladrags was essentially only a department store. As with most wizarding space, it was larger on the inside than it looked from the outside. Otherwise, there wasn't much exceptional about it. It sold attire for all walks of life and most occasions. Severus looked appraisingly, and perhaps pityingly, at the boy. He had never been to a place like this before. It wasn't that Harry had never been shopping in a magical store before. He had never been shopping anywhere.

Severus placed his hand on the boy's shoulder and guided him off to the side of the store, behind a display of wizard-appropriate Mugglewear for the family. His touch was as gentle as he had it in him to make it. The boy was close to breaking down, and Severus felt a deep sense of empathy that had him wanting to lash out. Nothing could be more counter-productive than that at this moment. This boy had never had a stable role model in his life, and that was through no fault of his own. He had been abandoned by his first set of parents and neglected by his second. Now he had no one.

Looking down into the watery eyes of Lily Potter's son, Severus forced himself to face the reality of the situation. He was the one who was here now. Regardless of whoever this boy would be foisted on next, for the moment, this was the situation. Severus might hate the boy, but the truth was that he saw himself in the boy more and more. Lily would hate to see what had happened to her child. Severus had promised to take care of him when she had died. He had failed them both.

Now they were both breaking down in the middle of a department store. That was truly pathetic.

"Potter," Severus began, pausing to gather his breath even though he had thought he was ready to speak when he started, "we need to get you some proper clothing. Before …"

"Sir?"

Severus had not told the boy what the next steps were. The truth was, he had no idea what was next. Severus was just a glorified errand-boy in all of this. He'd been told to investigate, and he had. There was also a need to intervene and rectify the situation. He did not know what he was going to do with Potter, and it was best to leave things vague.

"Let's find an associate."

Potter nodded, and Severus led the boy to an associate. They were greeted quickly, and fortunately, he was able to provide the measurements just taken. Picking out clothing here was a more complicated process because the dress was more varied. They went into a booth in the back of the store at Severus's request.

"He needs everything. I have made a list." He handed it to her, watching as Potter craned his neck to look.

"I will go get you some styles and samples to choose from." The young man, in his late teens with spiky black hair, disappeared after copying the list.

Faster than Severus would have thought possible, Potter snatched the list from the table in the room.

"Sir? What is this!" Potter demanded.

"Watch your tone," Severus hissed. He cast a silencing charm on the room. "You need everything on that list, do you not?"

Potter colored. His face had already been red, and now something was added to that, possibly indignation. "How am I to pay for all of this? I don't have any money? I haven't even heard of the money here!"

Resisting the urge to snap at the boy again or bury his head in his hands, Severus leveled a stern stare at him. "It is being taken care of."

"What does that mean, Sir?"

"Potter, I do not know what has gotten into you, but if you know what is good for you, you will do what you are told and not cause any trouble. That associate will be right back in here in a moment, and I told you that for security purposes, you are supposed to be going along with this!"

The brat looked to be considering that for a moment. Then the boy seemed to deflate, sinking back into the chair. "Yes, Sir. I'm sorry, Sir." He took a deep swallow. "I just do not understand this. Any of this."

Severus nodded absentmindedly. He conjured a glass and filled it with a quick nonverbal augamenti. Then he watched as the boy drank gratefully. Severus resisted a sigh just as the associate returned, trailed by an even younger one, a witch with short stringy purple hair, carrying piles of clothing. More hovered behind them.

Although he eyed them warily, Potter allowed them to show him various shirts, trousers, pajamas, and shoes. Severus made sure there were plenty of socks and warm slippers, as well as a couple of robes. When they got to choosing undergarments, the female associate left with a wink because Potter looked like he was about to faint from embarrassment. Severus barked at him to choose from the packages, but he was secretly also amused.

By the time they were finished, Potter had new pair of trainers and boots, formal shoes from Madam Malakins for school, and an entire wardrobe of wizard and muggle clothing. Severus had also purchased him two trunks and a schoolbag. Potter went from resigned to excited. He was currently holding a muggle-style coat, much too warm for London in July as if it was a security blanket. It was a lovely emerald green color that matched his eyes, and after trying it on, Potter had refused to let it go. Severus had just let him keep it. He had an idea what the grip on the coat was about.

By the time they returned to their room at the Leaky Cauldron, the boy was asleep on his feet. He sat down on his bed in his clothes with the coat still in his arms. Severus called for a tea service with chocolate biscuits. He wanted to just put the boy to bed, but he figured that would be cruel. The child looked like he was struggling with a thousand emotions.

When the tea popped up onto the table and Potter still did not move, Severus looked carefully over at him. He was still sitting on his bed, holding the green coat. His hands were clenched tight as if someone would take them from him. The boy looked miles away.

"Potter, come and have a cup of tea and a biscuit."

The boy's head snapped up as if he hadn't realized Severus was in the room with him. Slowly, he came over, not releasing his grip on his new coat as he sat. Severus chose not to comment. He simply poured the boy a cup of tea and offered him the plate of chocolate biscuits. He took one. Nodding, Severus sat down in his own chair and took a slow sip of his tea. With the relaxing brew, he could feel some of the stress of the day release.

"Mr. Potter, would you care to tell me what is going on with that coat?" Severus asked silkily.

Shaking his head slowly, Potter took a bite of his cookie. He chewed just as slowly.

"All of these were purchased for you, Mr. Potter. You will have access to them wherever you go. Despite the little fit, you threw back there in Gladrags, the clothing is yours to keep."

There was no reaction. Severus decided to try another tactic. "Are you cold? Are you worried about being cold?"

In reality, Severus was not concerned about a health issue. The boy had never put the coat on, not from the moment he had tried it on. He had seen the boy's face when trying it on, though. It was the first one he'd tried on, and he hadn't wanted another. Severus had told the associates not to bother when he saw the boy's face. There was a story there; he was sure of it. He knew from his interrogation of the Dursleys that the boy was neglected. It wasn't hard to determine what was happening here. The question was how broken this boy was.

"It's a lovely coat," Severus fished. Honestly, he thought to himself, such saccharine nonsense.

It did get some response, though. The boy nodded; He still said nothing. After about ten minutes, Severus had finished his tea, and the child had still only had his biscuit. There wasn't going to be any more information out of the boy.

"Go ahead and change into your pajamas," Severus told him. "Brush your teeth."

Potter nodded. He went into the washroom and stayed in there for longer than Severus thought he needed to. Potter returned and got into bed. Severus was relieved to note that the coat was on top of his trunk. He had almost been afraid the boy was going to try to sleep with the thing.

Severus reduced the lights so the boy could try to sleep. He sat at the window watching the nightlife on Diagon Alley and thinking about the unexpected events of the day. There was still so much to do. The letter he had sent off to Dumbledore did not begin to cover it, but this was not a matter for a letter. He had to look that old man in the face and demand a reckoning in person.

"I have never had a coat."

Severus didn't turn away from the window as he heard the words spoken softly in the dim hotel room. He could just barely see the boy's reflection in the window. He hadn't moved. His back was to Severus, and he was still covered with the blanket. Severus didn't respond, and he didn't think Potter expected him to. If he had, he would have spoken when he was given the opening at tea.

"They never gave me anything to wear except Dudley's old clothes. In the winter, I had jumpers. They were always too big, and they had holes in them. Dudley made sure I never got any of his coats or jackets, though. He thought it was funny. He couldn't make sure I never had any clothes at all, but he only had one or two jackets, and he threw them away, I guess. I don't know what he did with them."

Rage was boiling up inside Severus at this revelation. He was beginning to think he had to add some creative punishments to his plans, including the youngest Dursley. Still, he said nothing in case Potter was not done talking.

"One time, a teacher gave me a coat from a charity bin at school because she saw I didn't have one. My aunt told her I lost it and didn't have money to buy me another one. So this teacher gave me one. It was too big, and it was a horrid orange color, but it was warm. I was so happy. I hid it in the bushes so the Dursleys wouldn't find out about it, and I could at least be warm on the way to and from school. Dudley told my aunt. I got in a lot of trouble. She accused me of stealing it."

When Potter did not speak for a few minutes, Severus finally responded. "You know that they were wrong to treat you like that, don't you?"

There was no answer. Severus was beginning to wonder if Potter had fallen asleep. Then he heard a tiny voice in the semi-darkness.

"Then why did they?"

Turning to face the small boy, Severus replied, "I do not know if I have an answer for that, Mr. Potter. I can assure you, though, that you did not deserve that kind of treatment. You were a child. They were entrusted with your care."

He thought he might have seen Potter nod ever so slightly.

"Did no one ever try to help you, other than the teacher who gave you the coat?"

"Once, when I was really little, a teacher said I couldn't see the board. My aunt came home with the glasses then."

"Came home with the glasses?" Severus demanded.

"Yes, Sir."

"I see." That was something else that would have to be taken care of. "Have you had medical checkups? At school or with your family doctor?" He knew the answer to this question as soon as he asked it.

"No, Sir. I am not allowed to see the nurse at school. I get in trouble if they find out that I have been to the nurse. One time …"

"It's all right, Harry. You don't have to tell me." Severus could tell that the cracking at the end of the boy's voice meant that it was not a subject he wanted to talk about. He also realized he had just addressed the boy a little too familiarly. "Try to get some sleep now."

"Yes, Sir. What's going to happen now. I mean, where will I go? Am I going … home … tomorrow?"

He hadn't been particular on that point. The boy was probably imagining everything purchased for him being taken away and being punished for it all. Severus cursed himself internally.

"No, Potter. I am not taking you back there, and I will not allow anyone else to do so either."

"Really?" With this exclamation, the child sat straight up. "I'm not going back there?" The excitement left his face. "Where am I going? I am going to a new school now? Am I living at school all the time? I have no parents."

"I know you have no parents, Potter," Severus said resignedly. "I do not know exactly where you will go. You will not live at school full time. You will live there from September until June. In the summer, you will live with a guardian."

"A guardian? But no one wants me, Sir. That's why my aunt and uncle had to take me in. I was left on their doorstep like rubbish because my parents were unemployed and died in a car crash …" Potter let his voice trail off. "I guess that's not true about the car crash."

"None of that is true, Potter." Severus turned up the lights and looked at the boy. He did not want to be having this conversation with the boy, now or ever. It was guaranteed to give him nightmares. On the other hand, worrying about where he was going likely would as well. "You were wanted by your parents. Your mother and father loved you. You were loved by a lot of people. You are still loved by a lot of people."

"How is that possible, Sir? No one even knows me. My aunt and uncle try to hide me from the neighbors."

Severus growled at that last revelation. "Yes, well … you were staying with them for security purposes. Remember that I told you about the importance of security, Potter?"

"Yes, Sir. I don't really understand what that meant, though, and I don't understand why it matters that no one knows who I am. Know one knows who I am, after all."

"Everyone knows who you are, you foolish child!" Severus snapped.

Potter gaped at him. "What?"

"You are famous, Potter. You do know what that means, don't you?"

"Yes, Sir, but you're wrong. I am not famous," Potter scoffed. "I would know if I was famous. Don't you think I would know if I was famous!"

This entire conversation was giving Severus a headache, Potter's attitude notwithstanding. "Potter," he ground out, "did you know about the wizarding world until today?"

"Well, no, Sir."

"Exactly. You did not know you were a wizard, so it stands to reason that you would not know you were famous either."

"Oh. Why?"

Why indeed?

"That is a complicated question. Let us just say that while the vast majority of people who will want to meet you will wish you no harm, there are some who are a danger to you. We do not want anyone to know where you are until you start at Hogwarts. Then it will be unavoidable. Everyone knows you will be there on September first."

"They do?" The boy sounded baffled.

"All eleven-year-olds in England start at Hogwarts in their first year."

"How does everyone know I am turning eleven?" Potter asked.

Severus was beginning to wonder if the boy really was dim. "Didn't I tell you that you are famous?"

"I am so famous that everyone knows how old I am?" Potter asked incredulously. "Why? This makes no sense. You haven't even told me why? Is it because my parents were famous? How did they die, Sir?" He jumped up to stand in front of Severus, his hands in little fists at his side. His face wore a hurt but determined expression.

"Potter, some of this is just not my story to tell."

"No, it's not. It's mine!" Potter insisted.

Severus considered this. In a way, the boy was right. Severus couldn't really tell him part of the story without telling him all of it. This entire conversation seemed ill-advised. He had wandered into the Devil's Snare without a lamp, all right.

"Very well. But sit down and wipe that insolent expression off your face, Potter. I will not speak to you when you are like this."

"Yes, Sir." Potter sat down on the edge of the bed facing Severus. Severus waved his hand, and Potter's robe and slippers floated over to the boy. Without a word, he put them on and then looked expectantly at Severus.

"What memories do you have of your parents?" Severus began. The boy had been fifteen months old. Memories might have survived from that time, but Severus could only hope they hadn't.

"I don't know, Sir."

"What do you mean?" Severus demanded.

"I have dreams, sometimes. I always got in trouble for mentioning them when I was little because they were about magic. Now, well, I sort of wonder."

"Oh. I see. It's possible. What was in the dreams?"

"I don't really remember everything. I think there was a flying motorcycle, and green light, and … a scary man with red eyes." Potter said all of this very slowly, looking at his slippered feet. "Is any of that real, Sir?"

"Yes, Potter, I think it might be." Severus observed the boy. He was amazed that the child could remember his parent's death. On the other hand, it had to be very traumatizing. Trauma was often relived in dreams. The poor child had been haunted by his parents' death all his life.

"Oh." If possible, the boy looked even smaller.

"What you have to understand, Potter, is that at the moment, the wizarding world is more or less at peace. However, wizards have wars, just as muggles do. When wizards have wars, they are for the same reasons, or similar reasons," Severus paused. He had a distinct impression that he was not explaining this right. "Your parents were fighting in the last war when they died."

The boy looked up at Severus, shock on his face. "They were? So, they were killed …by magic?"

"Yes, Potter. A wizard killed them. He also tried to kill you. You survived, and that is why you are famous." Severus still scrutinized the boy to see what effect the information would have. "No one else has survived the killing curse. It is why you have that scar on your head. That is why I had you wear the cap to hide it. Anyone who saw it would know immediately who you were. No one else has a scar like that."

"How … how come?"

Although the child was babbling, Severus did not scoff at him. He knew he had just received disturbing news. "How did you survive? We do not know. I have my suspicions. Your mother …" Severus swallowed heavily, "Lily Potter was a very gifted witch. She was one of the smartest people I ever knew. I suspect your mother found a way to keep you alive as soon as she found out that someone was trying to kill you. She succeeded. Your mother loved you so much that she made sure that even if she died, you would live."

Tears were glistening in the boy's emerald eyes now. Severus had seen him mouth his mother's name after he'd said it. It was heart-breaking. No child should be that touched just by his mother's name. The rest of the information was enough.

"She … she loved me."

"Yes. Your mother saved your life."

"Did they … did they both love me?"

Severus was aghast at that information. "Of course, they did!"

The boy nodded, not even seeming to be affected by the scoffing tone.

"Sir, what was my dad's name?"

"James."

"Oh! That's why …"

Potter did not finish, but Severus now realized he understood his alias for the first time. When choosing it, he'd been bitter and frustrated with his task of escorting Potter, Jr. around shopping. After this conversation, he realized that more and more of what he thought he knew about the boy was wrong. How could a child reach the age of eleven without even knowing his parents' names?

"You look like him," Severus croaked before he could stop himself.

"Who? My dad?"

Severus nodded.

Potter jumped up and rushed to the mirror across the room. Severus wanted to sneer at this childish display, but it was too heart-breaking. He watched Harry Potter stare at his reflection as if he were seeing it for the first time. The boy touched his face and ran his fingers through his hair. Then he rubbed at the tears falling gently from his eyes.

"You … you have your mother's eyes."

Slowly, Potter turned around and looked at Severus. Tears were now unashamedly running down his peaked face. Severus wished desperately that he had a picture of Lily to show her son. For now, he would have to rely on telling him that he had her eyes.

The boy turned back to the mirror and stared at it. Severus watched him until he felt the mist in his own eyes and then found himself staring back at the window. He had hoped that the boy would not have nightmares because of this conversation. Luckily, Severus was a potions master. He could prevent it for tonight, at least.

"It's time for you to go to sleep, Potter," Severus told the boy gruffly, mostly because watching him stare at his reflection to try to see his dead parents was getting to be too much. "Here." He handed the boy a vial of Dreamless Sleep potion. "This should help."

To his credit, the child said nothing. He just took the vial and drank it and then climbed back into bed. Severus returned to the window and stared at it for a long time as the child slept. He would have to plan something very appropriate for the Dursleys, all three of them. As soon as Potter arrived safely to wherever he was going, Severus would pay his relatives a visit they would never forget.