Zombie Cat Science
Alt titles: Zombie Chakra Science or Black Cat Science.
note: I'm feeling a little depressed. so I'm just gonna finish this up.
11Jerk in orange armor
Naruto went through another behavior change after that, but I didn't trust it. He seemed smiley, cheery, ramen loving, claimed the fox was making him off that one time by whispering in his ear and he was sorry, but...
There was something wrong with his eyes. They didn't look at me with any fondness, not even the fondness for a rival, any more. And he was still basically a jerk, though he'd toned it down. I was beginning to worry. This wasn't my Naruto. Could this be someone like me, only instead of reincarnating they'd stolen the life of someone already past babyhood, someone aware with dreams and ambitions and a life of their own?
I decided whoever it was, I hated them. But I needed more information, and I needed to figure out how to get them out. Unfortunately, I'd never fully figured out how to get rid of myself, (else I would have committed suicide long before the Sasuke coma incident) so getting rid of this imposter was going to be difficult to impossible at best. I could separate his soul, but what happened to Naruto's soul? Hopefully the boy was still in there, not lost forever.
If he had died and been replaced forever, I'd never forgive that imposter bastard.
.
.
Sakura was having a good day.
Naruto was mostly back to normal, maybe glaring daggers on occasion as Sasuke but boys were competitive, right? He'd done that on occasion back at the academy, it wasn't too strange. They'd had a chance to retake the test, something almost no one ever got. Show how good they were at working together. It ended up pretty good; Sasuke came out with a plan to have Naruto and Sakura grab him, then substitute Kakashi into his place. It worked out well, or more like Kakashi was going easy on them and let them have the chance to pull off the mischief in the first place, but then Kakashi pressured them to decide who would get the bells.
Sasuke had refused to take a bell first, then to her surprise Naruto. Not about to be shown up, Sakura refused to take a bell unless her team mates could also pass with her. Kakashi was so pleased at this, he passed them all.
So, she was skipping home happily when she felt an ominous presence. Turning around, she frowned to see Naruto. "Hey, what are you doing following me? That's rude you know!"
"Ahh, I know. But, remember how strong I got, so quickly? You could get that strong too."
"I can?" her ears perked with interest at this.
"I've always thought you had a lot of potential but had no confidence. That's why I pretended to crush on you, to make you feel good about yourself." He seemed to think he was being nice, but that was extremely cruel. Sakura felt quite hurt that he'd do something so low as to merely pretend to like her! Because she was, what, pathetic to him?
"Why are you saying such a hurtful thing?" She frowned and he mirrored her frown with his own, like he was completely lost why this would upset her.
"I'm willing to train you Sakura. But you have to be willing to let go of that annoying, pathetic fan girl." She remembered how he'd said he hated fan girls. She'd thought that was just the Kyuubi influencing him, because he'd never hated her before, but was it really all a lie the entire time? Had he always hated her? She bit her lip, not sure she liked this not so smooth talking Naruto.
"No, I like Sasuke and it isn't hurting anything. I can focus on my ninja mission and still like boys, shannaro!" she shouted. "I wouldn't mind training with you and learning some of those jutsu to impress him, though." At that, she gave a little squeal.
"I thought you might be like that," he said with disgust. "I hate your squealing so much. Now shut up!" He suddenly launched at her, and she tried to dodge, but he grabbed her face managed to slap something down on her tongue. Bleck!
...a seal?
"What the hell did you do, Naruto?" she hissed.
"It prevents you from making any noise I don't want you to, heh. I can finally shut up your annoying giggles!"
Sakura shivered. "Why are you so hateful?"
"I'm not hateful, Sakura, I'm doing this for your own good! You won't be able to speak of this to anyone else, either. But listen, I've got a good reason to hate duck-ass Sasuke, okay?"
"What could that possibly be?" she snapped.
"I'm from the future. He betrays all of us, the village, to leave and find bloody missing-nin Orochimaru the legendary snake sannin of all people! He becomes very powerful, a threat to us all, obsessed with his own power so he can kill his own brother, Itachi."
"His own brother? Why would he want to kill him?"
"Because Itachi killed his clan for power. Hypocritical, isn't it? He's pretty much doing the same thing Itachi did, looking for power and killing family!"
Sakura frowned, not sure if you could really blame someone for something they hadn't done yet. But if Sasuke really betrayed them... if he had hurt future-her and crushed her heart so carelessly...
Maybe he wasn't worth... hanging out with anymore. "Alright. I'll train with you. We'll just cooperate with Sasuke on missions so Kakashi-sensei doesn't get suspicious. He can't make us become friends. We'll become powerful without him, that'll show him for rejecting friendship and the power of lo-!"
"No power of love crap," he interrupted her. "No fan girl nonsense. That romantic stuff is for little girls, Sakura. Wouldn't you rather be powerful and impressive like me, instead of that dobe I used to be?"
"Um, I guess," she said hesitantly. It felt like she was abandoning a part of herself. No, like she was being forced to. It was one thing doing it on your own, but here he was making the choice for her. But she supposed with that damn seal she was powerless to do anything about it. Sakura sighed. "Okay, let's start training."
"Very good," the strange time-traveler who was and wasn't Naruto smirked.
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.-.
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We went on missions, and bizarrely, Sakura started giving me the cold shoulder too. She was much more subtle about it than Naruto, and they were both polite to me during missions. Their behavior was off, though. I didn't recognize it from before. Kakashi, who hadn't ever met them before I suppose, wouldn't have notice as much amiss as me, but he still noticed things. He tilted his head curiously when Naruto lost his temper after a large dog dragged him, but my smaller dogs behaved for me and I smirked at him. Naruto called me duck-butt and Sakura actually gave a smile when he insulted me.
"Sakura, are you angry at me?" I asked, eying her.
She flushed. "Well... I got tired of you being so cold and out for power! And I don't want to be a weak fan girl anymore, but a strong ninja!"
I felt only mildly (or so I told myself) hurt, but tried not to show it. "Fine. I admit I'm not the most talkative or warm. It's just who I am." If they didn't like it, then they could suit themselves. I had better things to do than hang out with them anyway, I was self sufficient, I'd gone years without anyone and I could go years again.
As for power, well, that was my choice. I was technically an adult of the village now, and that meant I was allowed to spend my time as I chose. Although they were certainly ones to talk; I knew they were running off and training without me.
Naruto said something profoundly stupid after the mission was over and Kakashi disappeared after dismissing us, though. "Sakura, you've been training, but I'm confused why your breasts haven't gotten any bigger, you sexy pink bitch."
"Why you!" she hit him angrily.
"Hey! I just meant all the best ninjas with the most chakra have bigger breasts!"
Sakura, if anything, got even more angry, and started trying to pummel him. He hit her back, knocking her down.
"Woah, hey, chill. Both of you." That was a little far, didn't they think?
"I'm not listening to you, emo duck ass," he insulted.
"If you really believe bigger breasts are correlated with better chakra, would you be willing to test that?" I smirked at him. "After all, one should not make a hypothesis unless one is willing to actually test it."
"Oh, really?" his eyes went wide at the thought of giving Sakura even bigger breasts. "Yeah!"
"Alright. Sakura, hold him down while I give Naruto a boob job."
"Yes!" Sakura shouted, and Naruto gave an undignified scream as I went after him to try and give him breasts.
"Oh, do be still. After all, men have the exact same tissues as women. Therefore, if bigger breasts give women super powers, they'll give men super powers too." I cackled evilly. He whimpered and squirmed – but in reality, all I did was hold up two oranges and try to tape them to his chest. I wasn't that mean, after all. I had some understanding of the discomfort of feeling like your very body was wrong, of having a brain mismatched to your physical gender; I was very thankful this current body synced up correctly with this brain and didn't have any dysphoria, that it was content being male in shape and that said body was male. Not all my lives had been that lucky.
Such things were probably above this one's comprehension, though.
For a moment, me and Sakura were friends of sorts again, laughing and trying to tape oranges to Naruto. The next moment, we were somber, darting away as a wave of killing intent hit the air and Naruto glared at us, threatening pain. For my own safety I decided to abandon the joke.
The monster that had stolen Naruto was incapable of self deriding humor.
"Sorry Naruto," Sakura squeaked.
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I tried talking to Orochimaru, writing on a scroll and putting it in a snake summon's mouth, letting him have a heads-up that there seemed to be more than one like me out there and that there was one aggressive to me in Konoha, possibly there were some in whatever location he was. I didn't know how I'd come to be like this, but it seemed like I wasn't the only one, and there was no reason to think they were all equally nice. A method had to be created to deal with such beings besides simply killing them, as they could pop up again, and possibly some of them might even know how to possess adult bodies. This was a serious threat to the entire shinobi world. I knew he didn't like the idea of inventing a method that could kill an immortal person, but I said we should start researching. Or in my case, thinking of tests, as I had a limited library.
He had made progress on his own immortality technique, finding that the body lasted longer if specially prepared first. I hesitated to know what exactly specially preparing the body meant, but asked if brain damage or altering the soul might have anything to do with that.
In a way, we had no real reason to trust each other, yet at the same time, we couldn't much avoid telling secrets. There was too much we needed to know and closing off the other would be losing a valuable source of insight and information. It was no wonder then we hoped to psychologically influence the other fully to our way of thinking; well, actually, in my case I would be satisfied with him just not being a total psychopath out to kill anyone who wasn't of use to him. I hope he personally was satisfied with the fact I had no reason to betray him and little to hurt him with, although I was a little worried he might want to kidnap me for a research subject and not let go of me, at least as long as I had the suicide option he would be unable to succeed at that.
It was possible, though, if he really invented a method to deal with immortal inserts, he'd be able to stop me from committing suicide (I wasn't sure if I wanted to at this time, what I was learning was too fascinating, but someday) and could experiment on me as much as he liked. It was a risk to take, talking to him like this. And yet, if I didn't talk to him, he might very well invent these methods on his own anyway and I'd be none the wiser at all.
Bah.
'I am a little worried my possessed team mate might be out to kill me. It would be quite inconvenient.' I had written.
He wrote back: 'Then kill them. I think you should kill both your team mates and your sensei, it would be a good learning experience for you. Or I could kill them for you if you like, I'd enjoy visiting Konoha again for a little nostalgic slaughter. And it would be pleasant to see how you've improved in person as well, Neko.'
He was fucking demented. But I think he was attempting to be nice, in his own way, in this instance? Almost fatherly, in his own fucked up way. I tried not to read affection into it, since having anything more than an amused liking for him was just going to lead me into trouble down the road, I just knew it. For one, someone was rather likely to permanently put an end to him one day. He was just too mischievous for someone not to research how to seal him away or kill him, no matter what immortality technique he tried. I didn't think anything was foolproof, and it probably didn't help I was going to end up researching how to kill immortals; if anyone could figure out how to do it, it'd be us two. Although partly that was because we were the only ones working on it, to my knowledge. He had some helpers in that band of ninjas of his, but I had no idea how good at research they were.
'I do think we should meet up at some point soon enough, they will have to give me a mission outside of the village soon I think. No, I'm not going to kill my team mates; I am a cat, not a snake. And please, no slaughter unless they enthusiastically consent for it. And not begging for their life hard enough does not count as consenting, by the way. Slaughtering someone who reincarnates would mean having to just track them down again anyway, if even possible.
I thought you were changing to be a less cannibalistic snake, hmm? Should I be worried?'
His reply, surprisingly quickly this time for we were communicating more frequently now:
'Ah, Neko~, I will always find refreshing the idea of a light snack. But I will resist, solely because you insist. As long as they are intelligent enough not to overly test my benign patience, of course.'
Eh. The idea I was the sole person preventing him from going on a murdering spree was... kind of flattering and chilling at the same time? I decided there was no way I was going to agree to meet him close to Konoha. That was just asking way too much for disaster to happen. Provided I had a choice in the matter. He might decide to show up without asking me first, or letting me know ahead of time.
Sensei was very unenthusiastic on the training part, and he was always late. It was enough to almost make me regret not taking Orochimaru on his offer, but putting yourself in the hands of a sadist wasn't a terribly good idea unless you had little other choice. Or were really, really bored. Same thing.
For amusement, I decided to track him down one day. He was just walking around, visiting a memorial stone, nothing special. I didn't say anything, and he didn't say anything to me, even though he was supposed to be at lessons right now. Instead, I just silently copy-catted him.
One time, I even showed up with a mask that covered the lower half of my face just like him. I couldn't tell for certain, but I thought his one visible eye took on an amused wrinkle at the edges. I had to admit I kind of liked the mask, it hid a lot of my mouth's expressions from people.
He'd sit on a bench, and I'd sit next to him, enjoying the sun, or even try to snooze. It wasn't bad company for someone as cat-like as me; the silence, the lack of conversation was nice. I never knew what he was thinking about all of this. Some days I didn't show up, doing my own training and researching. Soul jutsu, medicine, yin and yang energies, basic sealing, honing strength, weapons, ninja wire and target practice, there was a lot of things to go over and keep me occupied on my own. Occasionally, I'd catch Naruto and Sakura training together, but never said anything to them, even when Naruto hurled insults.
If they didn't want me there, that was absolutely fine. I thought Sakura seemed a little sad sometimes though.
...
Missions were dull, although I had some fun on a cat mission; I'd always had an affinity for cats. We chased after Tora. I henged myself into a cat, a feat of Chuunin level skill, and went after him. Naruto tried to get my code name to be Emo Duckbutt and Sakura's Sexy Bitch, thankfully Sensei rejected this.
For a moment, I fantasized about running away and living as a cat forever, but that was a little messed up, even for me. Cats often didn't get along well with other strange cats, so Tora pounced on me and we fought. I let him chase me straight into a trap, which my two team mates launched around Tora.
"Alright, we got him! Mission success! Evil little demon."
"Ah, not quite," I said, breaking henge and sticking my hand into the cage for Tora to sniff. "I don't think it's any wonder that he fights so hard when being captured and manhandled is so uncomfortable for him. He's been picked up by how many idiot genin, how many of which probably don't know basic things like never grab a cat by the tail? We should give him a little time to see nothing bad is happening, or even give him something pleasant, so he doesn't associate this with pain."
I couldn't tell them this, but I had a cat once who liked to escape. Chasing after him immediately just made him run more, because someone running at you is scary, but if I slowly came up to him and petted him for awhile before taking him back in, he learned not to run and became docile about getting picked up when he escaped. Being an animal, he hadn't the cognition to put together me being outside next to him for awhile with him getting put back in the house.
"You like animals, Sasuke?" Sakura asked with surprise.
"I do." Quieter than people, sometimes tamer too. I moved into the cage with Tora and just gave him my back, letting him hiss himself calmer, then petted the little demon for awhile without talking, looking directly at them, and without any sudden movements.
Naruto narrowed his eyes, like he was angry or suspicious at me for this action, or maybe he wanted to make a joke about me being caged where I belonged. But it was just petting a cat, nothing weird about that, right? I felt sorry for the kitty, when we had to give him back to his owner who smooshed him.
.
.~.
"I don't get it!" The Naruto imposter shouted angrily, later, to Sakura alone. "He never pet the cat before. Other little things, they don't add up, they didn't happen before. How could my actions have changed the time line this much? And living in his house, that hadn't happened before, did I end up in an alternate dimension?"
"Maybe it's like a pebble added to an already nearly overflowing pile on a cliffside that causes a rock slide? Maybe he's changed? I don't want to hurt Sasuke." Sakura said. Sweet, silly Sakura. When would the little fool grow?
"No. These things are minor. As long as his goal of killing Itachi remains the same, he's the same person. He's still the cold shoulder giving ass he always was." He mentally reviewed events, his memory a bit foggy. Ever since he came to this body, he wished he remembered things a bit better, but it had never seemed important enough to memorize it all before.
He could sharply remember coming to this body, the rush of memories that weren't his own, the feeling of being ostracized and left alone, but more, the feeling of absolute power. These people were absolute fools for alienating the holder of the Kyuubi, and the previous occupant a total fool for letting them use him so. He'd nearly leaped for joy once he'd realized what a massive opportunity he'd landed into.
It was actually true he'd time traveled. He'd floated as a detached soul for years, confusedly watching, then, as all the bijuu were gathered he'd seen his chance. After all the devastation killing nearly everyone, the old Naruto had decided to try and send a single soul back through time to try and change everything, back into his old body.
He'd simply leaped in to make sure it would be him, not that idiot Naruto. After all, he'd screwed this up the first time. He didn't deserve a second chance. Besides, why else was he here if not for an act of God? Clearly, he was meant for this.
And it was time to show his stuff! Wave mission time. He rubbed his knuckles in anticipation.
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"Old man! I'm a ninja now and I want a ninja mission!" Naruto-imposter was very good at sounding like Naruto. It was kind of creepy, honestly.
"Oh, you are now, hmm? Well, alright. As it is I have a C-mission to the Land of Waves," the Hokage spoke. We were in his office again after the cat mission; the daimyo's wife had given a nice bonus because the cat seemed happier and calmer than usual. At least until she started squishing it.
"Land of Waves?" I lost my slouch in my excitement. It would be nice to go back there again and see how it had changed.
"Ah, that's right, you miscreants ran off to there before, didn't you?" Kakashi mused. I eyed him, thinking about the dog-masked ANBU ninja who had grabbed and taken me and the other children back home. Hadn't Naruto called him a dog? Of course, that could just be his unsubtle way of calling him a bitch... that seemed like the new Naruto's style, frankly.
But their chakra felt similar. They could be the same person.
Naruto looked confused for half a second, like he didn't remember this at all. Weird, but not unexpected if it was not in fact Naruto.
"It was quite fun, if scary. I've never skipped school before or after, but, I remember thinking it was so cool to be kind of doing our own little self assigned mission with the other kids." Sakura said, smiling.
"It wasn't a mission, it was mischief," Kakashi corrected. "And your parents grounded you for months."
"Yeah, that part wasn't so much fun..." she said with embarrassment.
"Has it changed any?" Naruto asked, thoughtful.
"Why don't we ask the client? Send him in."
Old man Tazuna came in smelling like liquor. I can't say any of us were all that pleased by the grump. I wasn't surprised to learn there was no ninja village and that our silly childhood attempts hadn't been very successful.
It turned out the old man lied to us about it being a C-rank, though Naruto was not surprised. We met a ninja far above our level named Zabuza, so, I tried to do the intelligent thing.
I tried to bribe him.
"You're doing this for money, right? So what if I said there was more money in it for you if you let us all go?"
"Sasuke, what are you doing? You aren't the mission leader!" Sakura said. Of all times to be a rule bound goody two shoes, ugh...
"Yeah, we can't bribe the enemy, it's dishonorable." Naruto, hmm, odd that he would claim to have honor considering he stole a body.
"Shut up you two," I barked at them.
"Oh? Money for your sensei's and client's life? I'm listening, kiddo."
"Imagine having an entire country in your debt. A country that has just seized the assets of an immensely wealthy criminal. They would pay you incredibly well."
"Mm, sorry kid, tempting offer, but, no can do. I'd never get a high paying assassination assignment again if it was known I was dishonorable enough to abandon one in the middle for a higher bidder and turn on my own client."
"Tch. Alright." Well, that was a gigantic waste of time. "Don't say we didn't try to give you an out."
"Same to you."
Then the Naruto imposter of all people yanked me to the side and came up with a plan to defeat Zabuza. I decided it was worth a try. He henged as a shuriken, I tossed him and he distracted Zabuza into dropping the water prison with our Kakashi-sensei, the plan, well, it went pretty well.
Except for when a fake hunter nin came and stole Zabuza's supposed 'corpse' away. But the mission worked out pretty well after that.
Although...
I think Naruto-imposter tried to have me killed.
When that fake hunter nin Haku came after us, he was just concerned with beating his opponent to shreds, not with how much damage I took. I had to use a healing technique on myself, and it exhausted me more than it should have, or, well, being a high level technique maybe the better way to say it was exhausted me more than I liked. So exhausted I had to take a breather and drop back to let him fight with that cursed strange red energy he had.
He used weird techniques again with his multitude of shadow doppelgangers, and caught Haku in a real nasty double suicide explosion jutsu.
"Haku!" Zabuza shouted in grief and rage, running to his mangled apprentice or whatever it was that Haku was to him. Surrogate son? Haku was heavily burned.
The fight pretty much ended there, Gato arriving with thugs. Zabuza tore through them, and, while no one was paying attention, I bent down and healed Haku a little. I wasn't as good at it as I'd have liked, and I didn't exactly have a lot of experience on another person. I had more chakra in my body this time around, by an order of magnitude, so my control was not as naturally good as when I'd first tried healing palm.
"Why?" Haku breathed. "Your team mates, they are precious to you, are they not? I tried to hurt them."
"I'm not much of a killer," I said quietly. "Sometimes when you show people a little compassion, they stab you in the back. But other times, it gives them the chance to pick themselves up out of the hole they fell into out of no choice of their own. And I guess I'm in too much pain to notice if I get stabbed anymore," I laughed. My laughter probably seemed a little deranged. I sobered a bit. "But, your man Zabuza clearly cares about you. Talk to him about if this is really the path you want to take for the both of you."
Some people are so fucked up, so broken they can never be fixed. I am probably one of them in my wish to someday die. My true dream that I cannot tell anyone.
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12 Cuddles with a grumpy kitten
After that, things were back to their normal pattern, though we could now add C ranks to our roster of missions we could expect to do. Which was fantastic, because damn were D ranks getting boring. I understood their point: learn basic team work and mission protocols, and the concept of income for children who had never had any to spend before; but still, boring.
I tracked Kakashi down and sat on a bench next to lazy-always-late-Kakashi reading his book when he was supposed to be at the training grounds teaching us, like usual, when I drifted off to sleep. When I came to, I gave a small jerk when I realized I was leaning against Kakashi's side, head having slipped from its uncomfortable rest on the bench to against his arm and shoulder instead. I stopped breathing.
He didn't say anything, didn't do anything but flip another page. He must have realized I'd woken up, being a jonin.
As long as he didn't care this might be called cuddling, I didn't either, I supposed. I breathed again, relaxed, and went back to sleep. I had to admit to being a bit of a night owl, so a day time nap was not unwelcome.
The big blue sky sure was pretty and the sun's golden rays warm today, and the breeze and scent of trees ever so pleasant. Little bees buzzed and a praying mantis caught a fly on a leaf in the park. Every once in awhile, weapons clashing on training grounds further away could be heard, and a happy dog's bark.
I was content.
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.~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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After a time, some days of this, Kakashi broke the unspoken rule. He spoke. I gave him a grumpy glare for breaking our sacred silence and retreated slightly at the first sound of his voice, sitting up and away from him.
"Ah, your team mates don't like you much, do they?"
I shouldn't have felt anything, but I couldn't help a pinch of anger and scowled against my will. "Sakura is ambivalent, I think. But even if they hate me, it doesn't matter as long as we can put our differences aside for the mission and for the village. Don't worry, I don't think they'd abandon me to die in a ditch, not after the team work speech you gave." Actually, I kind of did. Not Sakura, but Naruto-imposter. I wasn't sure what to do about him, didn't think I could tell what I knew without causing scrutiny.
Waking up like this made me groggy, and I rubbed my eyes, so I missed his next expression as he spoke again. "But they have abandoned you," his voice was casual, oddly so for the subject. I stopped rubbing my eyes to look at him, and he continued on, "they train and eat together without you, do everything except the mission without you. That's not the work of good team mates."
"Well, you don't train with them either," I retorted, and it looked like I'd scored a small hit. "And don't tell me you're lost on the road of life, I've been sitting right here the whole time, I know what you're late for." Even if I never called him on it in front of my team mates.
"Do you?" there was dark amusement there, and I was a bit taken back, and wondered if perhaps there was something I didn't know here.
"Well, I don't know why, but I know what you're doing instead." I did note he spent an awful lot of time looking at that memorial stone in silence. It didn't take a genius to figure out that was mourning. Was this entire episode a kind of broken coping mechanism he'd developed? "Now, be nice and return to being my pillow, I was having a nice dream."
"Afraid not, my little genin." He ruffled my hair, and I tensed grumpily, having always been kind of skittish about other people touching me. "We're going to go train now."
I perked up a bit at that, and followed silently.
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Kakashi, of course, was not oblivious. He'd noticed his little genin following him, noticed too the way the boy had acted with the cat and had tried to bargain on the mission. Most ninja were not diplomats, and he hoped the boy had learned sometimes that sort of thing just wasted time that could be deadly, although he appreciated the impulse.
The cat, there was an unusual empathy there. People often project the way they themselves want to be treated, see their own motivations in other beings, and he noted this to be true for Sasuke, although the boy had done so completely unwittingly and seemed to have no clue Kakashi had seen this about him. As a test, he'd simply ignored Sasuke like Sasuke had ignored the cat, not even looking at him ('Can be perceived as threatening', Sasuke had said about the cat, but it was true for ninjas too) and just like the cat, Sasuke had eventually decreased the distance between them, at first sitting far apart on the bench and then as days went by sitting right next to him and even taking a snooze. He hadn't expected the other to lean against him, it had been accidental at first, but the boy had seemed to mostly relax at that point, as long as he didn't look at him or move. If he spoke, the boy moved like he was afraid Kakashi was going to bite him, and there was genuine fear in those eyes. Kids weren't supposed to be afraid of their sensei for just opening his mouth, unless they were about to receive a verbal rebuke.
It was kind of cute, if worrying. He could deal with a copy version of his old team, the old Kakashi. He didn't think he could deal with a copy of the newer Kakashi, the one who had already lost his team mates and was in mourning, even suicidal, grief; after all, he had never figured out how to deal with his own self, much less another one of him.
The skittishness, the lack of conversation, it really wasn't normal. But he was very similar, so he could not really complain. Even he talked more than Sasuke did, however, and he didn't look at people like he was afraid they were going to suddenly attack him for no reason either. There was something quite wrong with his kitten.
The team dynamics were horribly broken. He'd fought with his, but there had never been this level of ostracism or avoidance, which seemed to be somewhat mutual on both parties. To a degree, he understood it; to someone as loud and extraverted as Naruto, someone who liked you better when you were quiet and ignoring them was a complete contradiction, an incomprehensible being, an anathema. Sakura was more extraverted herself, and must have found someone powerful willing to interact and train her to be powerful too a lot more compelling. Most people would prefer someone who didn't ignore them, frankly.
Not even cats wanted to be ignored all the time, though, as Sasuke was no cat even if he wanted to pretend to be (he'd come to realize none of what he'd said had actually been a joke at his introduction, which made him wonder if he was going to start cloning people). This dynamic of baring the presence of the other team member or members as a burden to be suffered wasn't a healthy one. And it was up to him to put an end to it, or at least the outright ostracism, if he could.
"Sensei! You're here, and you're late again!" Sakura complained.
"Bah! Sasuke is following behind him again! How do they always arrive at the same time?" Naruto said with bafflement.
Sasuke just smirked. He could be a little shit sometimes, but, so could Kakashi. He wouldn't indulge their question seriously.
"We were lost and happened to bump into each other, then compared directions for an hour."
"Liar!" Sakura yelled. "And you, stop encouraging him!" She pointed at Sasuke, who gave an innocent look of: 'Who, me?'.
"Alright, guys. I know you've been training separately. From now on, I want you all to train together. It's difficult to do good team work if you don't hone your abilities together and get a sense of what the other can do." Kakashi picked out three pieces of paper. "This is chakra sensitive paper. It will help tell you your elemental affinity."
"Ahh, I already know that," said Naruto. "I am wind."
Sasuke suddenly looked unusually interested. "Really? Does it react to a specific minimum amount of chakra? Or to the same amount always in the same ways for people of the same affinites? Where can we get more of the paper? Is there a way to increase the sensitivity?"
Kakashi paused, unsure where he was going with this. "It's specially produced, I can get you more if you like, or you can order it. I would assume a minimum amount of chakra to get it to work, yes, it doesn't work for those with almost no chakra development as you have to send chakra into the paper. I don't know the details of its production."
"I want some." His team mates seemed surprised by this.
"What for, Sasuke?" Sakura asked.
"Do you remember my project from long ago about trying to deduce a number for how much chakra people or things have? With chakra sensitive material you could build a method that will work for anyone, maybe even a machine to automatically detect chakra for you. And, since it reacts to different types, maybe it could be honed to track different chakra signatures, although that would take immense time."
Kakashi was taken with astonishment. That was one of the most incredibly inventive things he'd ever heard out of the mouth of a genin, heck, out of anyone; admittedly one did have to take into account a lot of ninjas were more the 'I am going to train new ways to kill you' rather than 'I am going to build new things and ways to interact with the world' sort of fellows. "Automatic detection of chakra? Detecting chakra signatures without even needing to get a qualified experienced ninja? That would be revolutionary, Sasuke." In fact... "I think the Hokage would be interested in this, and happy to grant you funding for your project."
"The biggest help would be extra hands to go over data and run experiments, actually. Especially someone who specializes in making the paper and knows how it's done." Sasuke said quietly, gaze dropping away to stare at the forest instead of him. A little shy? Confused or overwhelmed by the attention? Feeling too superior to bother to look him in the eye? Bored?
"I am sure he'd grant that, if you're sure you know how to run the experiments."
"Really?" he seemed taken back and a bit nervous or suspicious. Both, really.
"Really. Prodigies aren't unheard of in the ninja world, your age shouldn't be a problem. I'll be sure to get you someplace quiet to work."
"Quiet is good," he said with relief.
"What just happened?" asked Sakura. "Is Sasuke going away for a project?" She frowned.
"No, no, no one is going away. It will be on the side." Kakashi made it clear that was an order. "We will all be training together. That includes you, Naruto, even if you think you know it all already it never hurts to re-cover the basics once in awhile."
Naruto pouted.
"I will be willing to teach you a new jutsu, however. All of you. If you already know a jutsu of your affinity, then I'll show you another jutsu or even have you try one of the wrong affinity so you can test and feel the difference."
"Sweet!" Sakura and Naruto said at once, high fiving. Kakashi was pleased they were happy about it. If there was one thing he liked most about the two of them, it was that they were easy enough to please and cheer up.
"You know, I've been thinking. It might be good to switch around with other teams once and awhile, train with them, since we'll be potentially working with them too one day." Sasuke said casually. However, it likely was not as casual as it seemed. Kakashi knew Sasuke had to be aware of the possibility other children on other teams his own age might get along better with him or his other team mates than his own team had gotten along. It wasn't a bad suggestion, honestly.
"I'll consider it."
"I don't suppose we could take solo missions once in awhile?" Sasuke asked more boldly.
"Absolutely not." Kakashi gave him a look. Sasuke didn't think he needed his team mates, not deep down. He remembered how even after figuring out the point of the exercise, he'd still tried one last ditch attempt to see if he could get it done alone. It was only to be expected from his psychological report, but Kakashi was worried. There were moments of cuteness, yes, but also, when he followed him unseen and unsensed, he noticed a destructiveness and obsessiveness in his self training. Not entirely a bad thing for a ninja, but, if Sasuke became entirely interested in power and knowledge, he could snap dangerously. With his interest in science, often hidden but occasionally displayed, could he even be another Orochimaru? The thought was rather horrifying. He was so quiet that it was hard to tell.
.
.~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
.
The one who had inserted themselves into Naruto was quite confused. This time line was all wrong. Sasuke had never been this interested in science before, or gotten his own special project, certainly not to build a chakra sensor machine. Sensei hadn't started enthusiastically (Well, enthusiastically for Kakashi, which meant being slightly less late) training them, or teaching them all new techniques.
Well, as long as the chuunin exam was the same, he'd know what to do. Speaking of, he should be bumping into Gaara and his idiot scaredy cat siblings any time now.
Although, crud, he'd forgotten to agree to play ninja with Konohamaru, which started that little stand off, didn't it? Well, no matter: he'd spotted the sand siblings over by the entrance. He'd put thought into what he'd say to Gaara.
"Heyyy, you there, what's your name?" he asked, running up.
"Gaara of the Sand. What's it to you?" he glared.
"You and me, we're alike." Naruto-imposter grinned. "I'm F-" he almost introduced himself by his old name of Freddy. "Naruto Uzumaki, and I have a demon just like you."
"Is that so?" Gaara looked fascinated. "Then you too must know what it is like to want to prove your existence."
"I do! It's cruel, being so lonely and rejected, right?" Alright! Point scored!
"I will enjoy testing my existence against yours." Huh, what? No! "And snuffing out your life. For now, goodbye," Gaara intoned in that creepy voice of his. Freddy gave a frightened twitch at the killing aura surrounding him.
This guy... he was so totally fucked up. How had Naruto talked sense into him again? Ugh! Power of friendship or some such bullshit... after beating the crap out of him. Oh well, it looked like he'd just have to do that again! No problem! Freddy was the best!
As long as Kakashi sent him to the exams. He'd ask about that.
.
.~~~~
.
"My answer is no," Kakashi said dispassionately, reading his book. A careful observer would notice it was a different novel in the series this time. "I didn't recommend you all for the exams. Your team work is appalling and atrocious. Only a squad of three can enter, no lone wolves here."
"I agree with that assessment." Sasuke was reading a medical book today, and with his nose in it he looked like a little clone of his sensei. He seemed to take the news extremely apathetically, but that was expected at this point in his evaluation of him. He'd made some interesting progress in the little lab they'd set up for him, although at this point it was mostly preparation work it was still fairly fascinating: 'compare and experiment with different chakra paper production methods for sensitivity, evaluate mathematically the exact minimum chakra needed for different techniques using a single consistently produced paper chakra minimum as unit 1'.
That kid was going to go places. Just not the chuunin exams any time soon. He wondered if he was just thinking of his own team mates. Sasuke's own team work skills were not so fantastic, and he was prone to dark brooding moods where he was, frankly, quite rude to his team mates himself.
"No! Come on sensei, you know we can totally take it! We're strong enough, and we can work together well enough in a fight!" Naruto shouted angrily.
"Please sensei?" Sakura begged. Kakashi sighed, never having really been able to resist puppy eyes.
"Our team work has been getting better!" Naruto added.
Well, he supposed getting their butts kicked could be a good learning experience for them. "Well, alright," he relented. "if you really want to."
Sakura and Naruto turned to stare at Sasuke, pleading with him. "Don't you want to test yourself, become stronger?"
He didn't look too enthused. "That will happen on its own. But I suppose you are right. Let's kick ass," he said in a monotone.
"You're so dull, teme," Naruto muttered.
13 Forest hunt
The tests went just as Naruto-imposter Freddy remembered them, at first. He thought about intentionally failing out so Sasuke wouldn't get bitten, but decided that he'd grown really strong. Surely he could take on the sannin! Heck, they'd just have to get two of those scroll thingies and break protocol to summon an instructor. They'd understand!
Then the forest happened. He felt immediately wigged, seeing Sasuke exchange curious glances with the sound 'genin' with the freaky tongue. Had he done that before?
.
.~~~~~~.
.
Orochimaru. Couldn't say I'd expected him here, but I had wanted to meet. Couldn't talk to him in front of everyone, but I could give him a nod to catch his attention. Damn he was creepy with that long tongue of his. Couldn't he have been a little more subtle? How did no one see the connections to him with that? Ah well, I'd learn what he was up to soon enough.
We went through the gates, and I didn't worry too much about meeting up with him. He'd find me, and if he was feeling aggressively, he'd probably manage to kill us. Nothing to waste time worrying about. If he was friendly, then he could help out with my little problem.
"Hello... Sasuke." He sounded a little surprised. Ah, right, I'd been in disguise when we met earlier, yet the resemblance was still quite clear, as it had mostly just been a dye job.
Killing intent rippled through the air, paralyzing my team mates. I just felt annoyed and slightly wishful, knowing I couldn't really die; for me, killing intent was almost peaceful and calming. But then, I was suicidal. "Oy, don't kill my team mates. I won't forgive you."
"Is that so, kukuku?" he laughed. "Well, how about I give you a little gift?" He launched himself at me by extending his neck, teeth bared.
I moved out of the way, flash-stepping with smoke pluming behind. "Ah, not really interested in getting bit, thanks. Especially if I don't know exactly what the gift entails." He was being his own unique brand of 'friendly' today, I thought with a grimace. I spat a fire ball at him, mostly for show, as he dodged with ease as I deduced he would.
Then I sped away further, getting some distance so I could talk to him without my team mates over hearing.
"You like to run, don't you?" He – or she, it seemed like right now. For a moment I wasted time wondering if they were transgender. "Why did you run the previous time, Neko?"
"I had a child's body. I was irrationally afraid of being scolded by an adult, and dealt with it by avoidance." I shrugged. "That and getting frequently killed gets boring."
"I didn't kill you," Orochimaru pointed out, face rather expressionless. "I found you far too fascinating, my little Neko-kun."
"That body seems new," I remarked. "Did you steal one?" I said with disappointment. "Did you come here to steal Sasuke Uchiha's?" It made a dull, sad sense. Not here to meet me, but the Uchiha. What an unpleasant surprise that we should turn out to be the same, then.
"Neko," his tone turned placating. "Volunteers are short on hand, you see? I have to do it to survive. I haven't made as much progress on it as I'd like, even with the animals. I didn't know the Uchiha was you. Good snatch."
"Then you never should have done it in the first place," I snapped, getting angry, but mostly just frustrated. Selfish, stupid bastard. "And it wasn't intentional."
He paused, turning his head, and summoned a massive snake which he sent off into the woods. "Your team mates need a little distracting," he chuckled.
"We need to restrain the Kyuubi brat and examine his soul," I told him, getting to business. "And I mean it, I hadn't meant to live again. I'd been trying to kill myself with a soul technique and revive him from a sickness, but it didn't quite work. I ended up merging with him, my more developed set of memories and thought patterns taking over out of shock when Itachi did his business," I said coldly.
"Mm. I could kill you and take your body, if you like," he asked politely with thinly veiled selfishness and greed.
So, he did have a technique to 'kill' me, didn't he? That technique. Hmm. "I don't have any interest in having my soul slowly digested in your stomach, that's not the kind of oblivion I'm looking for. Besides, it feels rude to go so blatantly against the wishes of the Uchiha clan after they took care of me. They clearly didn't want that kind of fate for Sasuke's body. Sorry." Although, I didn't really blame him for being interested in the eyes. They were an awful, unfair cheat, weren't they? "Perhaps eventually I can work out something else, though. I'd like to replicate what the eyes do eventually. Or even clone them. It seems such a waste to have everyone hoarding techniques to themselves and only one clan that can access them all, or nearly all. Greater progress can be achieved with more people. Although knowing this world they'd probably just use the eyes to kill each other, a stupid waste of my generosity."
He first looked disappointed with my rejection, then as I continued looked a bit like a child for whom Christmas had come early, a broad, kind of creepy smile spreading across his face. "That would be most interesting."
"You didn't find any technique for just pulling a soul out of a body?" I said hopefully.
"One can make a bargain with the death god to do so, sacrificing your own soul to end up in his stomach." Orochimaru looked far too amused. "Somehow I don't think that's what you want either."
"It doesn't make any sense it would require a death god, though," I tilted my head. "You can voluntarily leave your body. That's how your body stealing technique works, right? So just have it done on someone else, but involuntarily."
"Sadly, it is not quite so simple as described, since that requires manipulating someone else's chakra, an impossibility," the sannin said, tongue flicking out to lick his lips once. "Perhaps a genjutsu to trick the user into performing a soul removal technique on themselves might work, however."
The snake pulled into the clearing. Unfortunately something seemed kind of wrong with it, as it grew more and more bloated.
It exploded into blood and guts.
Oh, foul. I shielded my face as a number of gross and slimy Narutos descended, blood and digestive acids soaking off of them. He smelled like bile.
Orochimaru was on him in a heartbeat, and I only barely followed along by using my sharingan as he launched a seal against his belly. "That should take care of the fox, hmm~?" He hummed far too happily.
I took a deep breath, and sat cross legged. "Alright, here it goes." I quickly ran through the hand signs.
"Sasuke, what are you doing? Are you going to save me?" Naruto said worriedly, giving a groan as he was pinned to the ground.
"Hopefully," or, something like that. Probably not exactly what he was expecting.
I sent my soul into him.
.
.~~~~~~~~~~~~~.
.
I stood in a massive sewer, a massive orange fox lashed its many tails angrily behind bars in front of me. "A damned Uchiha. I never cared for your cursed lot," the demon spoke. "Your dark chakra is far too much like Madara Uchiha's. More melancholy, however. I do so love that faint taste of despair."
"Answer me," I ordered, aiming the gaze of my cursed eyes right at him. "Where is the real Naruto? Do you know? Is he gone?"
"The brat?" Kyuubi's voice lost malice, becoming conflicted. "I'm not sure what happened. Something, someone foreign came here. I haven't seen him since."
"No," I said with horror. "He can't be gone and dead, can he?" What a shitty way for the boy to go.
"Nothing was removed. Only added," the Kyuubi reassured enigmatically. Oddly nice of him, actually, but I suppose if I had a choice between hosts I'd prefer the original Naruto too. "Will you get him back? The malice in this other one calls to me, makes me want to rip them to shreds." Legend told it the Kyuubi was attracted to malicious humans to destroy them. This request made sense in light of that.
I nodded. "Do you have any idea where I can find the host?"
Kyuubi simply looked down a dark tunnel. I could have sworn it wasn't there before. "Thank you." I bowed, and ran into the darkness without hesitation or looking back once.
"Polite enough, for a Uchiha," Kyuubi muttered behind me as a goodbye.
The darkness was all consuming, and I nearly choked on it. Such a metaphorical landscape, as opposed to something concrete, something scientific like neurons in a brain, it was an unpleasant enigma to me, but I would suffer through it.
"Come out you bastard! Dobe, dobe where are you?"
"Sa-Sasuke? Is that you?" a small, frightened but welcomingly familiar voice answered. Naruto! I ran toward it.
"It is! Tell me where you are!"
"I am the darkness. This is my head, Sasuke. I don't know what went wrong. I can't seem to get out of it. It's driving me crazy! I never thought I'd be so glad to see you. Am I hallucinating?"
"I should have known it would be empty, but this is a bit sad even for you." I stopped running, realizing I was talking to a disembodied voice. "Can't you make light?" I didn't know why it was so easy to be mean, but it was. Teenage hormones maybe. I'd been an incredibly cranky teen in my first life until I calmed down a bit.
"Ah, it is you!" Naruto's voice sounded overjoyed. "Only you would be such a jerk, teme." Abruptly, the darkness seemed to lighten a little. There was one direction the light seemed a bit brighter than in the other directions, so I headed that way. "But watch out!"
A fist smacked into the back of my 'head', if souls have heads, which, apparently they do. I gave a growl of pain and regained my balance to swing a leg out behind me, swooping the attacker off their feet on to the ground.
It was... someone I didn't recognize. A freckle fanced teen, bulky in stature and square jawed, with no Asian features, a Caucasian, unlike everyone else in this world I'd met so far.
"So, you came already in league with Orochimaru? You make me sicker than I thought, toying with everyone like that."
"Release Naruto. And I'm not in league with him. He just thought it would be amusing to help instead of kill us." For some reason. Who knew what went on in his twisted mind.
"Why, so you can kill him yourself in a few years for an improved Sharingan?" What? I was completely at a loss. That had never been in my plans. "After all, only a great trauma like losing your best friend can unlock the Mango or whatever the bullshit it's called, to make you a match for Itachi."
"Why are you doing this?" I was at a loss.
"Because this world is screwed up, and I can make it better!" He jabbed a finger at the darkness, where a faint figure started to manifest, bound and roped up. I ran for it in hope. "This fool can't be trusted with it, he doesn't deserve it and this power! He'll just lick the boots of this horrid village, letting everyone politically manipulate him."
He... had a bit of a point on the last part. But he was wrong. "Naruto has a kind heart. I can think of few to none I'd prefer to have the power of the Kyuubi, few who could better bare the curse of having a monster inside them and still keep a sane and unspiteful mind." I glared at him. "You are not one of them!"
"No! I'm never giving up this body! I don't want to die again!" the insert screamed, and charged at me, rope appearing in his hands. "I'll just have to bind you too!"
No. I shivered at the thought of being stuck here in the darkness. I dodged and danced away, glad that my sharingan still seemed to work here, trying to reach the Naruto silhouette in the distance. The imposter seemed to somehow manifest a weapon, a great sword appearing in his hand. How the heck was he doing that? I tried to imagine one in my hands, but, nothing.
"Naruto, can you get me a weapon?"
"I'm sorry! He's in control right now!"
I didn't waste time on sighs. I made a grab for the shadow figure bound and gagged, only for it to dissipate away and a sword nearly to cleave my neck from my body. With frustration, I ran back toward the direction of the tunnel, letting him chase me into the sewers.
"Ah, you want to die in the filth, is that right? Ay, Kyuubi, how about you lend me some of your power?"
"I'd rather not," the fox huffed. "Unless to keep this body from dying."
I stood right next to the bars, wary and aware the fox might try to attack me through it. It was a risk.
"Nice spot to choose to die, aye?" The Naruto-insert laughed at me. He swung, and I side stepped. The blade went through the bars, and I held him down there, pushing him from the back against the bars.
"Kyuubi, if you please?" I asked, looking up the fox, who looked delighted and intrigued. He slammed his paw down as the young man tried to jerk the sword and himself away from my grip, and I pushed his head in, trying to get his whole soul to go.
"Aiihhha! I give, I give!" he screamed.
The fox laughed darkly, voice reverberating off the walls, before launching down and slamming his jaws around the bastard, dragging him in and then tossing him up in the air like a grape to fall in his mouth. The fox slurped the bloodied corpse whole down his throat.
"Mmm, haven't had a meal like that in ages. Thank you. But my host is still tied up," he reminded me.
I gave a short bow in thanks and and ran down the tunnel again. This time, it rapidly grew lighter, to a sunny, grassy field, more like the mind I expected Naruto to have. The boy was blinking dazedly at the sun, ropes tied around him. "Sasuke? You did it?"
"I did." I frowned, thinking of the person I 'killed' even if they were dead, (or were they? Ghostly souls were confusing) and untied him, then stepped back and closed my eyes. Everything went black.
.
.
I woke back up in his body, able to control his limbs, and so did he wake up, giving our body a confused jerk. I quickly left, surging back to my unconscious body. To my displeasure and discomfort, Orochimaru was leaning over me next to a knocked out Sakura. "It went well, I trust?" he hissed.
"It did. The other one is gone. I got the fox to devour him." I stretched, it feeling good to be back. "Sad way to go, but can't say I was upset about it."
"Perhaps one day you will stop being sentimental, Neko. You should leave this sappy place and come with me," he enticed me for the fiftieth time.
"I don't think so," I told him with amusement. "And maybe you should try being sappy. It can be fun, in limited amounts." Yes, I was teasing a man who could rip me limb from limb and would have no compunctions, mercy, or remorse. I was insane, just not the psychotic variety.
Naruto groaned. "Who are you talking to? This guy feels super strong... wait, some of the other guy's memories are coming back now... Gah! Crazy snake freak! You tried to kill me!" He popped upright and prepared to fight, despite having been out of commission for months with another person taking a joyride with his body.
"Perhaps I should finish the job," the crazy snake sannin laughed, and I gave him an exasperated look. Great, he'd decided to prioritize 'fun' over not killing my team mates.
In a whirl, I grabbed my two team mates and used jutsu to move like crazy out of there.
"Saaaasuke. Trying to run away again? You truly are no fun."
I set up rapidly a series of wires and seals to tangle and trip him up and even explode on him. Naruto squirmed loose of my grip, complaining "Hey, I can take care of myself! I can run!" He spammed shadow clones. "But uh, what was with the weird creepy guy in my head, do you know?"
I decided for the technically true but idiotic sounding answer he'd swallow easily. "A ghost."
"Waaa, really? A ghost was possessing me, that's so creepy Sasuke!" And he bought it, hook, line and sinker. It was actually true though, so, meh, maybe I should think more nicely of my team mate... nah, too much fun poking fun at him. He could take it.
Another snake, and Naruto did something weird. He deliberately sent a bunch of clones in to get swallowed, trying to bloat the snake's stomach again. Yuuck.
Sakura moaned, waking slowly, and I put her down. She blinked away. "Ah, Sasuke, you're okay! And Naruto! Did we lose the creep yet?"
"No, I'm afraid not." A large explosion went off.
"Wait, I got an idea," Naruto said. "Or my ghost did."
"Ghost?" Sakura said cluelessly, having missed our conversation.
"Yaaa!" Naruto sent out a massive chakra pulse. "I tried to give out, like, an alert signal, but I don't know if it worked. They might just think it was a jutsu, you know?"
"We can use it as a bluff," Sakura immediately noted. "CHA! Snake face! We just called for ANBU! You better run!"
"Oh really?" Orochimaru appeared in front of us, eerily fast. "Well, one last parting gift then." He extended his head and fangs and shot out at me, startling me. I thought he'd been done with that biting me nonsense! I narrowly got away, brushing him, heavily annoyed. Consent, you don't have consent! Asshole. I don't know why I put up with you.
He looked, if anything, just amused when my team mates chopped his body in half while his neck was extended. His head rolled and spat out a new body, as he could apparently get even creepier. I felt, and with my sharingan saw immense chakra in that jutsu; it was impressive, but he surely couldn't keep it up perpetually. He had just used it to show off and frighten us. Or possibly send a message to our superiors who we would report to of his power, and frighten them. Or both.
"Well, it's been fun, but I have no desire to face ANBU today. Adieu," he bid goodbye and disappeared away, leaving us wounded but not nearly as badly off as we would have been if he hadn't just been toying around with us.
.
.-.
.
Our sensei was furious. Mostly at me. There was another angry person at the tower too, the proctor, Anko.
"Did he bite you?" she demanded.
"Why?" I asked curiously.
"Because he did the same damn thing to me. I was his student and he marked me with his curse," she said with pain in her voice. I felt a little guilty.
"No, he didn't manage to bite me. He tried to, but my team mates helped me. He seemed to enjoy toying with us."
"And I was possessed by a ghost, but Sasuke saved me!" Naruto shouted.
Everyone stared at him like he was an idiot. He wasn't being stupid, just loud and less than helpful in his descriptions, but, I understood the impulse. I felt uneasy about what going into detail would reveal, though.
"I beg your pardon, Naruto?" Kakashi stared at him in complete loss.
"That's actually correct. Naruto was possessed for the last several months. By a ghost." I said in a dry voice with only slight inflection on the last words, which for some reason made everyone take me as more serious and intelligent than the person shouting. Prejudice, am I right? Well, okay, not really. "It was responsible for his behavioral changes. He should be back to normal now. I used my sharingan and ousted it from his body." Sort of.
"In the middle of battle?" Kakashi said dubiously.
"Ah! That's right, I remember you talking to that Snake freak!" Naruto said, to my embarrassment. Well, the cat was out of the bag it seemed. "He wanted you to leave with him."
"That's right." I took a deep breath. "For whatever reason, Orochimaru seems to have some interest in me." I almost said 'some fondness'. "We talked, figured out what the problem was, and he agreed to aid me with the ghost. He seemed to find it fascinating, two souls in one body." And was polite enough for some reason not to bite me while unconscious, which, hey, thanks for pretending to resemble a normal human for five seconds. "He put some kind of seal on Naruto to dampen his chakra so he couldn't kill me with the fox. Sorry about that, Naruto. I'm sure you can get it removed."
"Sasuke, I'm ashamed of you. Orochimaru is very dangerous. I can't believe you trusted him not to kill you or double-cross you while you dealt with this ghost, and that you didn't tell me about it. I could have helped you." Well, it did sound incredibly stupid when he put it like that. "But I profess I'm confused. How, exactly, in the middle of a battle did you manage to talk politely enough to get around to the unrelated issue of Naruto's ghost problem?"
"I told you. I fascinate him. You might even say he likes me. He enjoyed talking to me." And I him, but I couldn't say that without getting taken to a shrink. Or an interrogator, actually rather more likely. "I told him his method of immortality was seriously flawed. He laughed. We chatted over science." I couldn't resist my own chuckle, despite knowing how much trouble I was in. I quickly stifled it.
Kakashi looked seriously disturbed. I suppose I should have been disturbed too, if I could muster up the ability to care that much. "Listen Sasuke. People Orochimaru take a liking to? End up dead, or puppets to his will and his will alone."
"Yeah, don't talk to that jerk!" Sakura said. "He gave me the creeps."
Anko butted in. "Yeah, kid, the mark he gave me is the least of the troubles he could visit on you, believe me. Who knows what else he's up to?"
"I asked him to leave Konoha alone. He hasn't hurt anyone here this time I think, so far. If he stays on good behavior hoping to tempt me over, that's a good thing, right?" I shrugged, then, feeling sorry for their worried faces, attempted to comfort them softly: "It's alright. I don't care what happens to me."
That seemed to have the opposite affect of what I'd been hoping for. They looked hurt, not happy, my whole team was frowning and Kakashi looked like someone had punched him in the gut. "How did Sasuke react to the killing intent, Sakura?" he asked, out of the blue.
"Oh, not at all, sensei. It was really pretty cool! He didn't even blink."
"A genin of your level shouldn't react like that," Kakashi was trembling, and his voice was off. I stared at him uncertainly. "You fool. You total fool."
"I'm sorry, sensei?" I tried to muster some emotion, to hide how pained and dull I felt, how on the verge of apathetic. I managed to feel some concern over him, not wanting him to be upset, and that instinctive childish desire not to upset adults.
"You're completely suicidal," he announced. His conclusion wasn't even stated as a question, but an absolute fact. "Only the suicidal are so incredibly immune to killing intent that they don't even have to train or experience it a single time to overcome it in an instant, although some react by committing suicide on the spot. I should have seen it before, when you had no reaction to Zabuza. It is not a good thing, it is not something to brag about."
I stood mutely, finding this unexpected but unable to feel the normal rush that comes with shock. I couldn't very well say yes, but I couldn't say no, either, not without lying. Realizing I was pretty much admitting it with my silence, I added: "I always did think Itachi should have killed me as well." Did that make me completely suicidal? I'd thought I'd been dealing with it better lately. Or maybe that was because I literately couldn't kill myself and had to find other methods of coping.
He took a ragged breath, then, to my shock, wrapped me in a hug. Then Sakura and Naruto joined in, their little hands wrapping around me and giving me no room to squirm out of it. I just stiffened, confused.
Out of the corner of my eye, Anko shook her head with disappointment and left the room.
Slowly, when it became clear they weren't letting go, I hugged back rather reluctantly, at a loss at what they were doing.
"I'm not letting go of another team mate, I swear," Kakashi's voice came above my ear, heavy, grief-stricken.
But, I thought, aren't I already lost?