5

Angela sat on the Booth's large leather couch, her legs curled up underneath her and a fleece throw protecting her from the chill she felt deep in her bones. It had been three days since her breakdown and she had not left the comfort of the large white house once. Wearing yet another set of Brennan's clothes she took a sip of her twelfth cup of herbal tea. The warm bubble bath in the large Jacuzzi tub, the soothing music, her meditation, everything she had tried could not stop the empty feeling inside her. She could feel the despair eating away at her.

Cam had made her take the rest of the week off, pulling her from the case when the identity of father had come out. It was a secret that no one could keep, using his dentals to ID him. Hodgins had been the one to share the news with Cam, he had done so privately, or so he assured her. Still the others were not aware of the connection. She had to be removed from the case, having a personal connection to the victim had assured her of that. The truth was, she was not sure she would have been able to handle it either way. He may have been famous, he may have been a guitar genius, he may have been a perfect southern gentleman with a fierce instinct to protect his loved ones, but in her mind, he was always just her father. He was her link to the family, her saving grace in all the ways that little girls fathers were.

It killed her that she was not strong enough to bring the man responsible to justice, that she would not be able to handle the case even if she had the choice. Currently, things in that department were at a stalemate anyway. She had overheard Booth mention it to Brennan yesterday. She did not know the specifics, he could not tell her, not anymore, not since she left the lab. Brennan was always the one person Angela wanted on her side if there was a case she needed solved. Brennan was the best. Wendell was good, good enough to help the FBI, but Brennan was the best. She had taught him. She had made him, and she would always be better than him. She was the one people went to when they wanted results, and that was what Angela needed. She needed results.

"How are you feeling?" Brennan stood in doorway looking at her; Michael was resting on her hip, his little hands pulling at her clunky necklace. She was dressed, something Angela had not been for days, her bright red sweater and black tank matched well with her heeled boots and skinny jeans. She looked, for a moment like the old Brennan. Like the fiercely science driven woman Angela had befriended. That was the woman Angela wanted, the one who did not feel death or emotion, but rather looked for the basic science behind it all. She needed Brennan's cool detachment now more than ever as she shrugged, not really sure what her response should be.

"Well, Michael and I are going to the airport to get Parker, would you like to come?" Brennan tried again, hoping to jar her from the disturbing silence she had been consumed with the last few days.

"No, I'm good." He voice was flat, like an out of tune harp, playing a melody of silence and despair.

"Do you need anything? I was going to stop by the store." More prying, falling upon deaf ears.

"No." It was not rude, just a simple statement.

"Alright, I will be back shortly." Brennan turned to leave, picking up her two bags and tightening her arm around her son. It was Angela who called her back.

"Brennan?" The woman stopped, still poised to walk out the garage door.

"Yes?"

"Thank you." It was as though she had said a million words, actually only having said the two. Her meaning, her gratitude shone through in her teary eyes as her best friend shut the door and set Michael down for a moment. She was there, in front of Angela, looking into her eyes, a new softness that had never been there before in her expression.

"You do not have to thank me. This is only a small thing Booth and I can do for you after everything you have done for us, for me, we want to help you." Her voice was strong, not wavering once.

"I'm so disappointed in myself, I think that is the worst part of it all." a tear escaped her eyes as she looked into her empty mug.

"Why? You did nothing wrong. This is a lot to deal with, a lot to take in." Brennan said with a smile. When had she become so understanding? When had she become so... humane?

"I can't help him, I can't find the person that did this. I'm not strong enough to avenge his death." Saying it aloud made it real. It made the inadequacy she felt only one more emotion she could not control.

" You can not do everything. Sometimes it takes everything you have to move on, to pick yourself up out of bed every morning." Brennan's eyes were dark and Angela knew what she was saying, that she was trying to open herself up, to let her friend have some of the strength she needed to do just that.

"Do something for me?"

"Anything, you know that."

" Solve this case." It was a weighty request, one that would require pulling a few strings, the major ones being attached to Brennan's heart.

" Angela I don't work-"

" You are on indefinite sabbatical. You could go back anytime and just pick up where you left off." Brennan cursed herself for telling Angela the truth. The thing was, she had told everyone including her husband that she quit. When the reality of her decision kicked in though, she had second thoughts. What if she was making a mistake? Were being a wife, mother, and author really going to be enough for her? And so she had Cam, in the strictest of confidences, put her on an extended sabbatical. The result of which was that she could come back at anytime, no questions asked, with her full security clearance. It would be easy for her to waltz in, right under the red tape and solve this case. The problem was not whether or not she could do so, it was what would happened when she did.

What if she couldn't stop after that, what if she went back to long hours and dangerous situations? There was Michael now, and he needed a mother, not a nanny. She never wanted him to yearn for her the way she had yearned for her own mother. In truth, her decision to leave had been a way to compensate for losing her own family. It was important to her, that she be there for her son, or sons as time would have it. She knew that it would be hard, hard to walk away after realizing the reasons she loved her work once again.

The only thing that made her waiver on the issue was the look of desperation in Angela's eyes, the way she had asked. She was begging, pleading for this. It seemed like something so small in the great universe of their lives. Something that she should not even question. She was torn, between the scientist with the means to ease just a fraction of the pain Angela felt, and the mother she had worked so hard to become. She could feel the balance in her life topple over as she sat there, waiting for a sign. All it took was a look at the pain behind the brown eyes of her best friend. She had to do this, not for herself, but in spite of herself.

"I don't know." She looked away, wondering why she could just not relent and do it.

" Bren, you are the best, and quite honestly, my father deserves the best. At least if I know that I cannot do this, you can and you will do it correctly. I trust you Bren, and I need to have that trust."

"Alright, I'll talk to Cam. Look, I have to go or I will be late getting Parker. Are you sure you won't come with us?" She asked, feeling her resolve cave, knowing that she would do it.

"No. I'm not really dressed to go out." Angela said, her thanks shining through in her eyes. It was all Brennan needed to see to know she was making the right choice, at least that's what she hopped it meant.

Brennan nodded, getting up from her crouched position and making her way over to Michael. She scooped him up, sighing with relief at his heavy weight in her arms. She needed to look for that balance again, had to have it to function. In her silence she made her way to the Honda, he mind a million miles away.

**********

"Hey, Dr. B!" Hodgins was by her side in a heartbeat, reaching out to hug her around the toddler on her hip. She leaned in, accepting his sincere greeting warmly.

"Hello Hodgins. How are things going?" She needed the small talk, anything to distract her.

" Frustrating to say the least, there is no news on Angela or a break in the case. I see you have the whole gang with you today." Hodigns said looking up to notice the eldest Booth child making his way to Brennan's side. Parker was taller than the last time he had seen him. His shaggy blonde curls were shorter, and tamed in a more stylish fashion. He had lost some of the boyishness that Hodgins had become so used to seeing, in a way he looked more like Booth.

"I just picked Parker up from the airport, he has been in Texas with his mother for the last two weeks." Brennan clarified, her eyes darting from Hodgins to the platform.

"Ah, home for the Holidays?" He directed the question to the eleven year old in front of him, rather than the distracted woman looking past his head.

"Yeah, I'm glad to be back. Texas is nice and all, but I like DC better." He reasoned. He sounded like a miniature adult, his vocabulary having tripled since living with Booth and Brennan. His biological mother had moved to Texas for a job right before they had Michael, leaving Parker as a permanent fixture in their home. He still took frequent trips down there to see her, but he looked most comfortable here in DC.

"Hodgins, is Cam around?" Brennan asked, oblivious to the conversation going on beside her.

"She is in the autopsy lab with Booth, They were going to open up Angela's dad today." He said pointing towards her office, a note of sadness in his voice.

"Thank you, ummm could the boys stay with you for a second?" She looked anxiously over his shoulder, her eyes fixed on the door he was pointing to.

"Sure, I was just doing an isotope analysis, I bet they would find that interesting..." He said with a smile as she nodded her thanks and started off towards Autopsy. Stopping suddenly she jerked around, her eyes hard on him.

"Keep them away from the platform." She said he head nodding to Wendell on the large platform above them and the bones in his hand. Hodgins swallowed hard at her tone and then scooped up Michael before leading the boys to his own workstation where the most exciting thing they would see today were sludge and insects.

Brennan was quick on her feet, making her way towards the closed double doors with a purpose. She had little butterflies in her stomach, feeling the emptiness toss and turn as she made her way to face the two people on her agenda today. It seemed fitting that they should both find out together. She had avoided this for so long, even after the longing for it had started again. The main reason, despite the excuses she gave herself, was the fact that it would not be the same. This would not be the same situation, she and Booth were no longer partners. The thought of doing this again, with out doing it with him, held no interest for her.

Two sets of surprised eyes greeted her as she pushed the doors opened. Booth was leaning against Cam's desk, playing with a NERF ball she had no idea how he had procured. Cam was standing over Angela's father, his chest splayed open, the scalpel in her hand. She suddenly felt out of place in one of the few places she used to feel at home. This was not her world and had not been for a while.

"Hello, Dr Brennan." Cam said, wiping the shock from her expression and replacing it with welcome.

"Bones, I thought we were meeting at the restraunt." Booth said, his expression questioning. They had planned to meet for lunch to welcome Parker home. He looked at his watch to make sure he hadn't worked through it.

" I needed to talk with Cam, and with you as well. I want to come back, and I want to be assigned this case." She indicated the body in front of Cam.

"Bones what are talking about?" Booth was at her side, the NERF ball becoming a forgotten after thought. His eyes looked her over curiously. It dawned on him, there was something she had not told him about, something he did not even think to ask.

"Dr. Brennan, are you sure? I am not sure that I can render you inactive again if you change your mind." Cam set the scalpel down and looked to where Booth was standing, his expression confused, a slight anger in the corners of his eyes.

"I have to, Cam. I do not think I need to tell you why." Brennan responded, looking down at her feet. She was willing to do this, coming back to have only half of the pie, only for Angela. She owed this to her friend, knew it was the most efficient way to help her. She knew the actions would speak far louder than any words.

" Wait a second here, what is going on?" Booth's voice was furious, he had no tolerance for whatever these two women had kept for him. The fact that they had done so together only made it worse. It was the touch of his wife's warm fingers on his arm that pulled him back, calming him only slightly.

" It is only paperwork, Booth. There is nothing to be upset about." She said, her blue eyes meeting him, holding his gaze the way she had thousands of times.

"What is only paperwork?" His voice was soft, he leaned toward her, the way he used to when they would sit across from each other in the diner. He would get so close to her that he could feel her breath on his face, smell the lilac in her hair. He had longed to kiss her then, the way he did now, openly, freely and without regret.

"I did not resign after Michael, I couldn't." She said, her hand coming up to his scruffy cheek. He must have been running late, last nights stubble was still there scratching her smooth skin.

"But you told me it was what you wanted."

"It was, and I do not regret it. I still knew that someday, once Michael was a little older that I might want to come back. I spoke with Cam about the possibility of that happening. She insured me that I would always have a home here in the lab. The only thing was, resigning meant that I would lose my seniority, my authority and my security clearance. Booth, I worked for years to get those things, they are all part of what allows me the freedom to work well in this environment. She was able to convince the bored to grant me a sabbatical, the length of which was undetermined." She dropped her hand from his face, turning her gaze to Cam.

" Dr. Brennan is very well respected in this institution. It was not hard to get that much out of the board." Cam said, not sure how that would help, but hopping it did.

"Why didn't you tell me?" He asked, his eyes still pinned on his wife.

" I did not want you be tempted. I knew that you would ask me back in a heartbeat if you knew how easy it would be. I know how frustrating it is, having cases we cannot solve. I knew you would try to talk me into helping." She admitted.

"And that's bad? My wanting your brilliance in every aspect of my life is wrong somehow?" His voice rose, as did his temper. He was hurt, hurt by her words and her actions.

" No! It was not the fact that you would ask at all, it's the fact that I wouldn't say no. This, this excuse for what we have become in our working relationship, is not what I want. I'm not your partner anymore, Booth. Nothing I said or did would change that. This whole lifestyle, it holds nothing for me without you in it." They were almost yelling now, making Cam shift uncomfortably.

"Dr. Brennan if you will excuse me, I have to make some calls on your behalf." The other woman said, politely excusing herself from the room.

"This is not over Bones, you lied to me." Booth said, blocking her way from the door.

" Did not, I told you I was not coming back to work. I do not understand why you are so angry."

" Why not just tell me the truth? I would not have been mad if you did come back. You were the one who decided to become a stay at home mom. Why come back now?" He looked at her with anger and pleading in his eyes, hurt more that he was not in on the secret, on how easy it would have been to get her back into the lab.

"I'm doing this for Angela." She said, standing there, her arms crossed and her eyes staring directly in his. And Then, just like that, all of the anger over being kept out of the loop was gone, replaced with the gentle understanding that this was not her choice. This was a cross she would have to bear, something to help out a friend. His mind flashed back to their trip to the desert all those years ago, when they once again had to catch the murder of someone Angela loved. Her determination, her gentle understanding. It had been the moment when he realized who she really was, the moment he thought about loving her.

Now, nearly a decade later, that same woman stood before him. She was not the empirical scientist today. At the moment his wife was just doing something to help her best friend. It eased the anger a little, made things easier to digest. He reached out, touching her cheek, leaning in, he kissed her lightly. There was a long road ahead now, one that would be quite taxing for everyone involved, and suddenly he found himself right by her side in the middle. They were once more the center of everything, just the way it had always been, and the center must hold.