Disclaimer: Oregairu doesn't belong to me, all rights reserved to Wataru Watari.
I've taken an exceptional amount of imaginative liberty when writing this; so if there's anything that seems factually off, please let me know, so I can embarrassingly and discretely edit the chapter(s).
Hikki, not 'Hooky'
The problem with adults wasn't the fact that their judgmental lessons were wrong. When being scolded, a common complaint of the child was that their parents had taken their anger or stress out on them in some sort of powerplay. But Hikigaya knew that was just an illusion painted by angry children who wanted any excuse to have their way. Adults were 'adults' because they simply existed for a longer time. Naturally their words would be ripe with wisdom because they had every reference to cite: themselves.
So he learned early. His mother had drilled it into his brain the first time he had brought home an exam grade that was pitifully low: always be prepared. It wasn't a magic spell that would fix all your problems, but certainly it would prevent anything from happening preemptively. There was no scenario more foolish than being caught off guard.
Yet he stood out infront of his mother's office building, faced with the one person he was the least prepared to speak to. It was a clear reminder that perhaps he had passively rejected the lessons of his elders and society perhaps too much as a child.
The worst was her staring. Her eyes weren't watering like he had imagined, and if she had experienced the same shock that he had upon seeing the other, she didn't show it. She was anticipating, waiting for him to say something. But it wasn't greedy nor demanding. Instead it seemed to ask him moreso than demand, like she was guiding him to start the conversation they were doomed to have.
He realized that Yuigahama Yui had matured. Far beyond her years in high school. He had been frozen in time from their mutual misery from her passing. She had done nothing but grown from it. She held herself upright, but wasn't exuding any boldness. The modesty of her appearance was a statement in itself; perhaps the most shocking change in her appearance was her hair: it was plainly brown, no longer the radically pink and peach color it used to be in high school.
His mother was right. She changed far more than he had expected.
"It's good to see you again." She said as though she were pleading with him to give her his attention. He conceded to the guilt easily.
"Ah… yeah… It's been a while." He hated that phrase and hated himself for saying it. It reeked of a shallow attempt to make conversation, but he was otherwise speechless. He wonders for a moment if he should have taken the extra step into patheticness and practiced this scenario infront of a mirror. Anything would be better than standing still, blanking out.
"Are you hungry?" Yuigahama's invitation crashed into the awkward moment, somehow dispelling it altogether. "Do you want to have dinner together? It's late but… I haven't eaten at all today."
It occurred to him that he could easily just claim that he was ill. Yuigahama would easily concede and tell him to take care of himself before leaving, out of concern. Yet if he did such a thing, Hikigaya Hachiman would undoubtedly betray every ounce of morality and self-respect he had for himself. He grieved for five years over his own tragedy; Yuigahama Yui spent five years silently caring and praying.
Offering him the invitation to eat, Yuigahama looked hopefully optimistic. If he refused her here, he would never be able to mend their broken relationship again.
And for once in his life, Hikigaya Hachiman decided that being lonely, at least in this moment, was the last option he wanted to take.
"Sure. You choose, I don't know the area well."
He followed her side on the busy sidewalk. He was careful not to stare, though he found it increasingly harder. His acceptance must have made her happy, because she was smiling widely. If he were a braver person, he would offer his arm to link with hers; he caught her staring at it before she decided not to say or do anything.
He wondered if Yuigahama had found a boyfriend.
"How is class, Hikki?" She broke the awkward silence with her question, meeting his stare. He was thankful that she didn't point it out. He was even more thankful that the elephant walking next to them on the street, the fact that they had just met after five years of no contact, was also being ignored by her.
"Ah, it's okay, I guess. Busier than usual." He quickly looked forward, embarrassed that he was caught. "How did you know I was…?"
"Hikigaya-san told me last year. I was really surprised! I didn't think you would stay in school, seeing as how you disliked it so much."
"Just the sciences. The humanities are alright. I just happened to be really good at them."
Third in his high school year, to be precise. An achievement, if you consider that he was third only to a boy who was chiseled with perfect.
And to the ice cold girl he fell in love with.
"There it is, over there."
She pointed out a building cozily nested between a gas station and convenience store. Walking in, he noted that there weren't too many people. If the sign behind the door was accurate, this place would close within the hour.
"Irasshaimase![1] Table for… two?" The girl greeting them was probably in high school, judging from the way she kept her hair trendy and straightened.
More importantly, why did she feel the need to act so surprised?
"Yuigahama-san, hello!" Ah, so they were acquainted. She must be a frequenter here then, probably the result of eating late meals whenever she stopped by his mother's office.
"Evening! Yes, that'll be fine."
They were seated close to the front, by the window. He frowned once he saw the table, the seats were far too close together and the table was auspiciously placed and meant for couples. He would have to be careful so their knees wouldn't touch against each other while they were eating.
"Your boyfriend?" The girl eyed him curiously. She reminded him of Orimoto Kaori, far too nosy for his comfort.
"No, no. We're old classmates. Do you remember Hikigaya-san? The lady I come here with often? She's his mother."
"Getting treated by the family, I see." The girl playfully jabbed.
"Not this time. Not for this one." Yuigahama looked far too determined for something like a family restaurant bill.
So that was it then. He wasn't surprised, Hikigaya Hitomi isn't a woman you will ever beat in the fight of who gets to pay the bill. He was certain that his mother won the argument every single time.
He looked at the waitress one more time, looking to see if she were the subtle type. He smiled, seizing the opportunity to practice out the trick that Hiratsuka-sensei had taught him.
"What would you like, then?" She looked to him first, notepad and pen in hand.
He took a look at the simple menu offered infront of him, reading quickly as to not waste time. "Omelet over rice, no dressing or peppers." Best to keep it as light as possible, he wasn't keen on testing his body after just now recovering.
"I'll have my usual." Yuigahama said it without glancing at the menu at all.
…The usual? How many times did she come here for her to have a usual in a family restaurant?
The waitress nodded, scribbling down on her pad. "It'll be out shortly. I'll bring some iced tea and water too then, Yuigahama-san."
As soon as she left, he asked the question lingering on his mind.
"Hmm… well, I usually only come by on Tuesdays, and I have work really early on the weekdays and have to make the commute here after so…" She counted digits on her fingers. "At least a dozen times? Hikigaya-san comes with me often. I guess you guys really didn't ever have dinner often, with the hours she works."
"Couldn't be helped. Her and my dad both work in thankless offices."
He never questioned either of his parents regarding ambition. His father especially, since his own philosophy about the corporate slave life of working as a cog in a machine had largely come from his father. Even his mother, who worked somewhat in the field of education, was at most, an office worker. The majority of their earnings had gone into his and Komachi's education.
"How about you, Yuigahama?" He forced out. "How is… whatever you're doing… counseling students?"
"It's…" She paused, taking the time to massage her temples. "It's a lot of work, honestly, but just a few weeks more and I'll be working at the international school; the one nearby your university. I'll be working with the junior high students, mostly."
He knew the one she was speaking of. A ridiculously high graduation rate, and the acceptance rate into both Chiba and especially other top-ranking universities was staggering. A rich school, filled with kids from rich families.
"Is it because you particularly like kids, or…" He trailed off, concerned now at the dreamy look she had to the window.
"Because the service club meant a lot to me." She said, still staring out the window. "Because when the three of us were there, I… I was really happy. And I wanted the feeling of being able to help people again, in my own way. Even if you two aren't…" She bit her lip. "...even if you two aren't there."
"…"
"After her funeral, when you stopped going coming to school, I couldn't go to the clubroom anymore. It was… way too lonely." Her brown head dipped, she stared into the cushion of her seat. "Sensei told me it was alright; that I could take a few days off from school and she would approve it with the faculty if I asked."
It was his fault, he thought. If he had the decency and strength to even just go to class, Yuigahama would at least have the comfort of being with the only person that she could grieve with. Instead he hid at home, seldom ever leaving his room and constantly trying to drown out the world around him.
It was remarkable that he even passed high school and got into university. Hiratsuka-sensei truly stuck it out for him. He spent at least a month in remedial classes when his mother had finally coaxed and forced him to go to class, his absence and truancy risking a year held back. His motivation was solely not to be trapped in Sobu High for any longer than he needed.
In the silence, he looked up to the girl who was sadly genuflecting. Yuigahama Yui stuck by his side even when he brushed her off. Not once, did he offer her a word of comfort while she offered him all of hers.
"I'm sorry." His voice was low. It earned him the eyes of the girl sitting across from him. "Even if I don't – even when I can't ask for your forgiveness…" In a scenario like this, he needn't even bother with thinking about class or talking smoothly. "I selfishly acted like I was the only one who lost somebody. I never thought about the one person in that high school who could even come close to understanding; the one person who even cared to understand me in the first place."
He wryly smiled at his own foolishness, staring into the balled hand he had made on the table.
"You lost something too. And I'm sorry I was never there with you."
He closed his eyes, ready for Yuigahama to hammer him with every ounce of malice she deserved to throw at him. Instead, he felt her hands wrap around his.
"Stupid Hikki." She said as she pried his fingers apart, easing the tension he had made with his fist. "You 'can't ask for my forgiveness?' What kind of disgusting rule is that?" She tearfully looked up to him, a smile he hadn't seen for years on her face. "It's really disgusting. Revolting, even. It's so gross I seriously might run away. It's not about forgiveness. You could have had that any time you wanted."
In one instant, she melted his doubts and fears.
"You're so stupid. Really stupid, and dense too." She continued.
"Alright, alright. I get it. You can run away if you want." He couldn't help but smile. At this rate, she would go on to say: 'Dummy. Nincompoop. Hachiman.'
"aaand your order is – am I interrupting something? Don't tell me, you're actually pregnant with his child and-"
"No."
"NO!" Yuigahama Yui was flushed, hands madly waving infront of her. "We were just caught up in the moment, and things got really… Oh, just…!"
The waitress laughed. "Just a joke, sorry. I thought it was well timed." She placed the dishes on the table expertly before taking another look towards him. "Seriously though, is everything alright? Because if it isn't, I have to call my manger and-"
"Don't worry. We'll be fine." Yuigahama supported him with a nod.
The waitress seemed relieved. "Alright then. Oh, sir, the receipt is right here. Thank you for coming tonight!" She handed him a slip of paper, his debit card wrapped inside it.
"Huh? Ehh? Wait, that's – when did you?" Yuigahama stammered, staring at him receiving his card and mouthing a 'thank you' to the waitress.
"Sorry, Yuigahama-san. It was when we ordered earlier. It looks like you're being treated by his family after all."
He remained quiet, signing the bill and crumpling his copy of the receipt as Yuigahama fumed and the waitress left laughing.
"You… even when I said I wasn't going to be treated…"
"I am at least somewhat of a good son, you know. My mother wouldn't want me to break her streak." He smiled, unwrapping his silverware.
"You looked really cool there, for a bit…" She shyly murmured, taking her own spoon and fork out of the napkin. "I won't forget this though."
He was too busy cheering in his mind to hear her response.
Yes! Success! Hiratsuka-sensei had taught him something of practical use for once!
The sound of silverware gently hitting plates started; the two started into their meal.
Getting off of the train, they walked down a downhill street together. The moon was beginning to crawl over them, street illuminated by lampposts and the bright moon.
"I'm so full~"
"Do you really eat two dishes every time? Fried rice and tonkatsu is your 'usual'?"
"You bet! That restaurant makes it really tasty, you know. That's why I feel so bad about Hikigaya-san paying every time. She doesn't even take any of the katsu when I share it with her!" She pouted. "Always says that 'I'm blessed' and that all the food goes into the right places in my body. I have to exercise too, you know."
So, she too was enamored with the well-being of Yui's yuis.
"And you! What's with you treating me, huh? How much does a graduate student get paid anyway?" She rushed up infront of him, pointing at his face.
"Enough to treat a long-time friend out to a meal at a family restaurant." He cheered inward again. He wondered if he should start keeping track of the Hiki-cool-meter. It would be well-worth it after the earlier trick in paying the bill early.
Their commute by foot shouldn't have been too long. While speaking about their recent history on the train, he learned that Yui lived close to the university, albeit on the otherside of town. The street they were on would take them closer to the center to leave off.
"I saw you once actually, Hikki. Your graduation, in fact. The school went into the university that day to see the commencement speech." She shuffled her feet. "I would have come up to congratulate you, but you were with your family, and I was too busy supervising."
"It's fine. I was miserable back then. More miserable than now, anyway."
"Are you still…?" Her voice was filled with concern, but she was thoughtful enough not to press him. Even so, Yuigahama Yui would definitely be able to discern whether or not he was lying.
"Yeah. I am." He said simply. He was ashamed enough to not approach anyone even in his immediate family about his depression, as sporadic as it might have been. He was aware enough that he could still reach out and talk to Yuigahama Yui, but the barriers he erected around her would take far more than the lecturing of his mother and teacher.
He direly hoped that the girl hadn't noticed that he couldn't even say her name.
"So, Hikki ended up drowning himself in work to forget the pain, then." She said knowingly. "I guess I did too. In my own, twisted way, I ended up doing the one thing that would comfort me."
"You make it sound like it's a bad thing."
"Isn't it? As great of a cause as helping kids is, I did it out of comfort. I wanted to be invested into their lives, just like we did at the service club. Anything for that feeling, again."
"You're doing it because you don't want them to go ever go through what we did?"
She nodded her head.
"Then don't sound like such an addict. People have dark secrets all the time. The fact that you get your kick out of helping people is the most positive, disgustingly sweet thing I've heard all month." He was convinced he spoke the truth. He turned into a workaholic with academia. By comparison, Yuigahama would be eligible for a sainthood if her troubles caused her to help people.
"Why do you always have to be so insensitive? How could girls possibly find that quality endearing in a guy?" She complained to him.
"Who says I'm doing it for girls? Like I'd force myself to change for the sake of a bunch of snotty bitches."
"Even if you're not calling me a 'bitch', you shouldn't say that so easily, you know!"
"What, your boyfriend going to throw me around if I do?" He smirked at her annoyance.
"…I… never had one, actually. Not for long. We broke up a year ago." She sadly looked at the pavement they were walking on.
He winced and stopped. "Sorry. I just thought you – I didn't know." He was too careless in his assumption. He reprimanded himself by biting his tongue.
"No, it's alright. I sort of knew it was going to end like that anyway. He… didn't really have the greatest reputation when we were in school together. Found him and my roommate in bed together when a trip to Tokyo was cancelled. I dropped him and moved out that week."
Tch. Bastard.
He heard her chuckle softly. "You don't have to get upset Hikki, even if it makes you look kinda cool."
"I'm not angry so I can look-" He was interrupted by her index finger against his lips.
"I know, I know. Thank you. I'm happy that you are angry anyway." She twirled around, satisfied with his blushing reaction. "I can take care of myself now. I want the genuine, real thing. I won't make that mistake ever again."
He found himself unable to disagree with her. She had settled and made her peace already.
"'Genuine', huh? Takes you back, doesn't it?"
"It does! We were really surprised that day, you know. We didn't think Hikki could say something so warm and honest." Her smile only fed his embarrassment further.
"Please don't remind me. I'm still trying to burn that moment out of my brain. Haven't gotten anywhere."
"Do you miss... do you miss those days?" She was careful not to mention anything too specific. He was infinitely grateful to her for that. The last thing he needed now was a bad reminder to push him over the edge of this already overly emotional night.
"Sometimes. It was easier, back then."
"Then… in that case…"
"Hm?"
Yuigahama's eyes were closed. A blush was starting to form on her face, and she took a deep breath as she patted her cheeks with her palms. With a content nod, Yuigahama took a small hop towards him, one hand extended in a wave in the air.
"Yahallo, Hikki!" She yelled, her voice echoing around the park.
A beaming smile was on her face, the look of nostalgia and emotion flashing in her eyes. It should have looked and sounded grossly inappropriate, for a young woman dressed modestly for the office. Yet, at that moment, nothing would have been more appropriate between the two of them.
Yahallo. God, what a completely stupid greeting. Overly cute, made absolutely no sense in English or Japanese, improper at every step…
"Idiot. I'm right here, and we've been together for hours." He could feel his face involuntarily returning her smile, an overwhelming and ironic sense of relief that the phrase he had once found annoying was so comforting. "And you're disturbing the peace."
"Ehe. I know." She gave him a wink; far too similar to something that Isshiki would have done. He wonders how many men's hearts she could unknowingly string along with that overly cutesy-look.
Looking around, he found himself at their crossroads; the intersection parting their walk home.
"Well, I'm this way." He thumbed to the direction of his apartment.
"Mm, then I guess we'll be off here then." She had a disappointed look on her face. He wondered if spending time with him had ever been so enjoyable to her.
How far did she live off? He initially hesitated on asking, but ultimately caved in after a few seconds of awkward standing.
"Are you close? If it's a good distance, I'll walk you home. It's pretty dark tonight." He hoped his reasoning deflated any accusation she may have of him wanting to spend more time together, if even for a few minutes. He dared not approach the thought that it was actually him who wanted it most.
She shook her head. "No, I'm just a few minutes now. It's a good neighborhood, so I'll be okay." She played with a stray end of her hair. "Besides, Hikki. You shouldn't engage in chivalry with me. It didn't work out the last time, remember?"
He laughed at her newfound dry humor. She smiled upon hearing it as though it was an achievement.
"Right… I'll see you, then." He turned around and started making the trek uphill towards his apartment complex.
"...Hikki, do you mean it?" Her voice came from behind him.
He stopped, turning around to look back at her. Her expression had turned into a solitary one, she was looking into the ground.
"Do you… will you see me again, sometime?" It was notably more courageous of her than he had ever seen, but she was still shy.
He chewed his lip. 'I'll see you' was just an expression, wasn't it? He hadn't meant-
"Yeah. We will. Don't worry." He spoke it freely. "Somebody like you probably wants to make up for the last five years I spent hiding."
She looked up bubbly expression returning with happiness. "Absolutely! Definitely!"
With a last wave, the two parted. He started off to his apartment.
He went through the majority of his first year in high school thinking that he was better off without friends. People like him weren't meant to have any and he was content with that. His bitterness was focused solely on himself and the world; it wasn't the fault of people that they didn't see him for who he was. He just happened to see into them far more than they would ever want to see in him.
He chastised his elementary school self in middle school for being too childish and lame. He chastised his middle school self in high school for being naïve. He wondered if he was beginning to chastise his high school self. And to what degree? He had hardly changed and his ideals certainly hadn't inched.
Yet, while standing in the elevator of his apartment, Hikigaya Hachiman found himself berating the teenager he was.
"Idiot." Tears formed in his eyes. Nobody was around, so damn it all if he became like this. "Your unlikely friends were the best things you had."
With a ping from the elevator, he wiped his eyes and walked towards his room.
Wrrr, wrrr! His cellphone buzzed in the side of his pants.
- Good night, Hikki! ( ﾟ∀ﾟ)
- Ah, wait, is this your new number after all? I got it from the train but…
- Ah, I'm sorry if I got the wrong number!
- Goodnight, Yuigahama.
- Oh, it is you! Sweet dreams!
Her messages were less crude than in high school, but she was still a clumsy mess.
Eager to fall asleep, he pushed his key into the door and walked into his apartment, refusing to look at the plume of papers from Berlin that sat on his kitchen table. He would get to them later, when every possible deadline was met and every concern in his life was finished.
Opting to shower in the morning, he changed into the sleepwear his mother had left folded on his bed and flicked the lights of his studio apartment off.
Despite having woken up in the middle of the day, he easily relaxed into his bed. Perhaps he had overdone it.
Wrrr, wrrr! He held his phone over his head, fluorescent light from the screen shining brightly on his face.
- I'm glad that we ran into each other today.
He fell asleep shortly after sending his response.
- Me too.
He snarled at the ceiling the staff room he worked in, cursing the Gods of misfortune for painting a target on him.
Perhaps it was an elaborate prank by the university; the faculty he worked with had to have been well aware of his lack of social prowess by now. They either truly hated the students that paid their tuition, if they had requested this of him. That, or they too shared Hiratsuka Shizuka's overbearing social messiah complex, opting to force him into interacting with as many people as possible.
"Jeez Hikigaya, stare at the ceiling anymore like that and it'll run away from you, you know?"
Certainly, the two others in the staff room, fellow graduates and teaching assistants, weren't alleviating his stress.
"Can you blame him? Hikigaya is the last person capable of doing something like this, you know."
If anything, they were making it worse.
"How cruel; the professor must really have it out for him."
"Right, right? Maybe he's punishing the class too, for doing so poorly on the last quiz."
Were these two teaching aids blind? He was right there.
Their advising professor had called him at an ungodly five AM, apologetically asking him to take over the lecture for the day. The station taking him from Todai[2] had issued an emergency stop. The man would most likely get here hours after the lecture time was over.
His professor, in an attempt to lighten the mood to him over the phone, told him that he should take it as a compliment, as he was so confident of his knowledge the course that Hikigaya was the best candidate for the option.
It's not like he could refuse, anyway. He relied far too heavily on the university, and needed no excuse for them to look down on him.
Rather than spend his relatively easy day of the week relaxing, he went through the entire morning and mid-day frantically going over the lecture notes his professor had in the office. He hoped that he would just have to read through the topics verbatim, and not answer any questions.
One of the teaching aids, a girl whose name he still didn't remember, had obstructed his view of the ceiling, bending over his head.
"Hey, it's almost time. You'll be late if you don't leave soon."
He grimaced, having lost track of the time spent by moping in the staff room. His expectation of teaching as a graduate was that of going over a short class every week, followed by being used as a grading machine and a body to sit there in order to proctor an exam.
Wrrr, wrrr! His phone shook on his desk, brightly exclaiming that Yuigahama Yui had sent him a message.
- Good luck; do your best! I'm sure Hikki will be absolutely fine!
- It's troublesome.
- I would have failed Japanese and History for sure, if it wasn't for you!
"Hoh, who's that, Hikigaya? High school sweetheart?" The girl peeked over his shoulder, hungrily perusing the screen of his phone for any drama she could dream up of her co-worker.
Didn't she have any manners?
"None of your business." He threw the phone carelessly into his bag, and shrugged off the wrinkles on his shirt.
"Wait, hold on." The girl moved to his front, brushing her hands over his chest and re-adjusting his tie. "Shouldn't you be good at this kind of thing by now?"
"I don't really-"
"I feel pretty bad for the girl that you were talking to. She must feel like she has an awfully unreliable boyfriend."
"We're not-" The pressure around his neck had forcibly tightened before he could finish.
With a final tug, she straightened his tie and nodded in satisfaction.
"Looking sharp, Hikigaya. Shame you can't teach with a blindfold on though. You'd be an absolute stunner, otherwise."
He sighed, not remarking on whether or not she had just complimented him.
"Thanks for your help, I guess."
Hikigaya Hachiman took his bag and walked in the direction towards the lecture hall.
"…which brings us to the end. The next chapter will begin next week." He spoke clearly. Luckily, thanks to the lapel microphone attached to his collar, he had little need to speak loudly. The lecture hall was fairly new and well-equipped. It didn't take any effort on his end for students in the back to hear him.
He flipped over the last page of lecture notes, indicating that he was finished.
In all fairness, it wasn't nearly as bad as he thought. He noted that only a few people left mid-way lecture.
"Because Enjou-sensei isn't here, there won't be a quiz administered and we'll finish early. For next class, go over-"
It seemed that the entire lecture hall had exhaled in relief, and the once silent room had immediately sprung into conversation, drowning out the instructions for the next class. They were already lost; there was little point in going forward. Besides, they had the syllabus. Not his problem if they didn't prepare themselves by now.
Like the undergraduates he too was desperate to end the day and go home. Unwiring the microphone from his shirt, he began assorting papers in a folder and packing his things.
"You're quite the speaker. What a surprise! I didn't think you would have it in you to go infront of a crowd like that."
A feminine voice came from behind him, getting louder as he heard the sound of heels clacking up to the podium.
"Huh?" He looked back, curious as to who thought they were familiar enough with him to make the comment.
"Or maybe you were capable all along; had all of the pent up energy hidden somewhere. Hey, Hikigaya-kun, do you actually get off on having power? Even if it's something as petty as a lecturer?"
The voice smiled at him, indigo eyes sharp and staring into his own. She was exceptionally well-dressed, wearing a trendy v-neck shirt under a widely cut sweater, pants cuffed up to her ankles. Her hair was longer than he remembered it being. If she grew it out any longer, she would probably resemble her sister.
Yet again, Hikigaya Hachiman cursed the Gods of misfortune.
Yukinoshita Haruno stood infront of him, bending far too close to his face for his comfort.
"Why are you here?" He asked immediately, hoping she wouldn't change the subject.
"Eh? Ah, I was around the campus and decided to visit a few acquaintances. Imagine my surprise when I heard that 'Hikigaya' was filling in for a professor later today." She smiled, giving him an answer so unlikely that he wasn't sure if she was lying or had an abundance of luck in tracking her prey.
"You aren't in this class. I've seen the roster."
"Chiba University allows people to audit lectures, thankfully."
"You graduated in the sciences, this is strictly in the humanities."
"I like to be versatile in knowledge. Broadening your horizons never hurts, you know!"
"I'm not the professor for this class."
"Goodness, why would I ever audit this class if he was the one lecturing? Silly, I'm here because of you!"
She expressed the last part too loudly. A few students exiting from the front had looked over at the two, curious to see the woman infront of him.
He grit his teeth. "Why are you here?" He repeated.
Her eyes narrowed, smile slightly widening. She dropped her overly-friendly look changing to the cold look he had seen her wear freely around him in the past. Yukinoshita Haruno hadn't changed, just like him. She was as he remembered, and certainly as menacing.
"We need to talk. I tried calling, but it seems that you changed your number."
"Couldn't get it from somebody else? Our old homeroom teacher unfortunately makes liberal use of it."
She steeled her eyes with a look of resentment.
"We had a falling out. We aren't on speaking terms anymore."
"I see. That's unfortunate?" He hadn't meant to phrase it as a question, but Yukinoshita Haruno seemed to not mind as much as he thought she would.
"Not really, no." Her cold remark crushingly confirmed his suspicion. She spoke with little to no hesitation, brushing the matter off as though their former teacher was insignificant.
"…"
Yukinoshita Haruno never did anything without purpose. For her own amusement or personal gain, she would personally assure she got whatever she wanted.
'Pestering and poking something she likes until it dies, Hayama? I hope you're wrong.'
"Well, Hikigaya-kun, shall we? There's an excellent student-run café on campus nearby, if I remember correctly."
"I have class later in the evening." He expended his last hope and excuse, even if it was a lie.
She linked her arm with his. He was certain she intentionally brushed his arm against her more than pronounced chest. Face flushing, he stammered and tried to pull his arm out. She tightened her grip, breathing out a chuckle at his reaction.
"I'm sure it'll be fine if you miss just this once. Hikigaya-kun is a serious student, isn't he? One break is perfectly fine; you can trust onee-san, she's done it plenty of times." Her smile had silently spoken a different message altogether:
He would, in some way or another, sincerely regret avoiding her.
They walked out of the lecture hall, a few students he recognized from his own class staring at him leaving with a beautiful woman attached to his arm. For most men, this would be a fantasy. Being led out of lecturing a class with a beautiful woman approaching and leaving with you.
But this was Yukinoshita Haruno, and he knew better than most that despite him wanting to leave and do nothing with her, she already had his attention and won the battle.
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[1] A common greeting in establishments for Japan, out of respect to the customer.
[2] Tokyo University; top ranking university in Japan.
Haruno is here, after nearly 30,000 words. The moment I've been anxiously waiting for too, because she's the sole reason I started this in the first place.
Before another long author's note, a few things I need to mention.
First and foremost, I should say that I have absolutely no idea what Chiba is actually like, so I'm pretty much shooting out whatever assumptions I can about what x school is or how y university does its thing. If there are any natives or visitors who will shoot me down, please do so gently.
Secondly, a retroactive change that I've already made in the previous chapter regarding Yuigahama's hair. If you didn't notice or forgot, then pay it no mind.
I really don't have an excuse for the delayed update. Class, work, Fallout 4, all perfectly valid reasons. I will say, however, that there are plenty of reasons for me to continue. To be honest, my interest in updating had waned until just recently. I guess the restless creative energy in me finally needed to be expended outside of nasty assignments.
This chapter still feels oddly rushed, despite me having taken a good amount of time writing it. That'll be partially because I started to write Tortoise in segments rather than in full bursts. Since it's 0600 and exceptionally late right now, I've beta'd this as best as I could. But, more than likely, I'll make all of my grammatical and stylistic changes repeatedly as I read this again and again and notice the more jarring mistakes that I've made. This is still, unfortunately, without beta reader. I'm to blame for that, I guess.
My stance on the characterization isn't without fault, mainly because I've put a huge break in their lives (Yukino's tragic death), and gave them all five years or so to settle on it. The biggest problem I've run into is building the character of Hikki based on five years of unwritten exposition. But, luckily for me, he's a static character that will gradually grow along with the story. Characters like Yui, who I at the very least tried to portray in a different but similar light, are harder.
And Haruno is just something else entirely. Seriously, I'm just going to channel every bit of bad ju-ju and hold no reservations with what she ultimately wants and does. Not to say she's going to suddenly become Angra Mainyu and start maiming people, but the character is honestly the best for things like this.
Also lastly I changed my mind and again reverted it back to a T rating, since at this point there is honestly very little to warrant the M rating.
Perhaps as a spoiler or teaser, I will say that the reason to warrant an M rating has already been written and is very much so an integral part to the story. Don't misguide yourselves into thinking that Yui's return into Hikki's life is the sudden uphill-shift and change. It's just the start of what will now be the crux of the story.
I've dropped the chapter numbering entirely. I don't even know what I'm doing with that. #4 is #2? Aaaaa not even, man. Not even!
Also I'm a boob and I've already written both the ending and the epilogue. For the most part, the story itself has already been outlined and drafted roughly in a .txt file named 'Haruno dot text'.
Drop a review if you're so kind; maybe that's the motivational buzz that I need. I read them all. I even reply to some of them. Feel free to drop me a private message too! Ask me anything and we can talk about Yui's yuis all you want.
Thanks for sticking out this long as always, again I'm really sorry for the late update. I'll try to be a bit more punctual, but not so much consistent.
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As an aside, the 'trick' Hikki and sensei used to pay for the bill early is actually what my girlfriend did on our first date. My reaction was, more or less, Yui's. I still don't know how it's done.