Major holidays getting closer!
Italics are thoughts, bold italics are song lyrics.
As always, I don't own any one of them, but only borrow for fun!
After her dreams on Sunday night that brought back her memories clearly, Jane found herself back at the gym again. She's not really running away from Maura, but Jane is doing her best to avoid her for a while.
I'm not that open sexually. I've liked some guys, but they never work out and it wasn't that much fun. Am I bi? Gay? I don't go around checking out every woman I see. Surrrre, I can admit that a woman is beautiful... Maura is beautiful. So, I may be this pansexual that I've been reading about, but I don't know. I have to find out more about it. Maybe it fits me best.
Ok, let's think Rizzoli.
Maura is...
Beautiful
Intelligent
Generous
Kind
Sweet
Wonderful
Sigh, say the word...
Sexy
Sensual
She is my FRIEND. I know I love her as a friend. More?
How did I feel when she almost died twice on me this year. I couldn't imagine life without her. As a friend? Who am I kidding.
When the psycho pillsbury dough boy had me, Maura was the person I wanted to see the most.
Could she care for me more than a friend?
I don't know how to be with a woman.
Am I good enough for her?
Be the detective, pay attention to Maura.
These thoughts continuously run through Jane's mind for the week as her feet pound the treadmill or her fists pound the heavy bag. They work cases and Jane focuses on the current case, but watches Maura and pays attention to how her own body reacts to Maura, increased breathing, butterflies in stomach. Why didn't she notice this before?
Maura notices the change in Jane. Oh, it's not a tremendous change, but she knows Jane.
Jane is acting like a...a skittish kitten. Not really skittish, but she is watching me and I believe if I do anything too much, she will run and hide and watch from farther away. I'll act casual, subtle.
Jane seems to feel safer this week staying out of the morgue, safety in numbers. No problem, I'll come to her. Maura enters the bullpen with the tox screen results.
Maura gives a cheery hello to all the detectives, but walks over to Barry's desk. "Barry, here are the tox results you asked for." She stands at Barry's shoulder and leans over to point at the significant numbers.
See? Look how close she's standing to Frost! And the way she's bending over, I can see plenty of Maura!
"Mind if I take a look?" Jane snaps. She stands to walk over.
Hmmm, I think you've already had a look. Maybe you want a closeup. Maura smirks to herself.
"Of course you can Jane." Maura gathers the file and brings it to Jane before she gets to Frost's desk. She stands slightly in front of Jane so Jane has to look over her shoulder at the report. Maura knows this position gives Jane a clear view of her cleavage and a chance to smell her.
As Maura points out the information, Jane finds herself leaning a little closer, not to get a better look at the numbers, but to smell Maura's hair. She looks down, but instead of looking at the numbers, Jane's eyes drift to Maura's breasts. Jane swallows. Well, I asked for a look, didn't I? Maybe i should tell her to button up one more button. They look firm, I wonder how they would feel? Hey! Focus!
Jane clears her throat and steps back. "Thank you, Maura. Frost, can you match that information with samples found at the suspect's home?"
"Looking now."
Maura walks over to Jane and lays her hand gently on Jane's arm. "If I get any more information, I'll send it up right away."
Jane nods. "Thank you."
As Maura walks out of the bullpen, she turns back to the group. "Don't forget to wear your ugly sweaters tonight at the Holiday Party at the Dirty Robber."
The guys lower their heads to their desks and groan. Jane rolls her eyes. "Guys, c'mon. It won't be so bad. It's at the Robber. After an hour, we'll take off the stupid sweaters and have a regular Friday night, right?"
"You think so? I've got a bad feeling about this!"
Jane walks into the Dirty Robber and spots Frost and Korsak in their usual booth. She laughs when she sees the sweaters they are wearing. Frost is wearing a sweater with snowflakes all over it and Korsak had a giant snowman on his. She grabs a beer and joins them.
"Where's the doc?" Korsak asks.
"We drove separately today, she said she would be here soon."
They sit and watch the other sweaters walk in, chuckling at both the sweaters and the embarrassed looks of the people wearing them. Soon, they spot Maura. She's wearing a black skirt with the sweater.
Seriously! She can make an ugly sweater look good!
Maura grabs a wine at the bar and moves to the booth, smiling widely.
"This is my first ugly sweater party! Look, I went to the Dollar Store and added a little zing to my outfit. See? Jingle bell earrings and necklace!"
"Zing? I think you mean bling Maura."
"Bling? Well, that doesn't make sense. Zing sounds more appropriate, but if you say so."
They hear the bar break into catcalls and clapping and turn to look. A detective from Narcotics had battery operated lights sewn into his sweater.
"Oh! Is that fair? Can you add things to your sweater?" Maura was indignant!
She is so cute!
"I don't think there are any rules, Maura." Jane tries not to laugh.
"Well, we're going to have to step up our game next year." Maura is slightly competitive.
"Okkkkkk."
Frost is paying attention to something in the corner.
"What's the matter Frost?"
"Looks like they are setting up a Karaoke Machine. Think it's time for us to head out?"
Maura first looks excited and then disappointed. "Please, let's stay for a while, please?"
Cavanaugh walks over. "I need your help. Narcotics is going to win the sweater contest, I need you all to see with that stupid machine. Homicide needs to make a showing."
"Uh, yes sir?"
"Thank you."
Cavanaugh walks away. They look at each other. "Shit."
Maura is giddy. "Does someone want to do a duet with me? Jane?" Head shake. "Vince?" Eyes to ceiling. "Barry, you'll come up with me."
Barry sighs and walks up with her. They look through the selections and pick one. Music starts to play and the two start to sing.
I really can't stay
Baby it's cold outside
I gotta go away
Baby it's cold outside
This evening has been
Been hoping that youd drop by
So very nice
I'll hold your hands their just like ice
My mother will start to worry
Beautiful what's your hurry?
My father will be pacing the floor
Listen to the fireplace roar
So really I better scurry
Beautiful please don't hurry
Well maybe just a half a drink more...
They are singing TO each other. Jane watches and feels... jealousy? sadness?
She went to him first in the bull pen today. Maybe I've been reading the cues wrong. She wants to be my friend, but maybe something more with Frost.
The song finishes, bar claps and they bow and go back the seat. Maura hugs Barry before they sit down.
"Thank you Barry, that was fun."
Barry grunts. "Your turn old man."
Korsak goes up, looks at his sweater and grins. He pushes a button, the music comes on:
Frosty the Snowman
Was a jolly happy soul
With a corncob pipe and a button nose
And two eyes made out of coal...
There is laughter and clapping as Korsak takes off an imaginary hat and bows.
"You're up Janie!"
"I really can't sing guys, you don't want me up there."
"We all did it! Get it over with and there will be a beer waiting for you!
Maura can tell that Jane really doesn't want to go up. "I had fun Jane. I'll go back up with you."
Jane looks to Maura and nods. "You pick the song, Maur."
They go up on the little stage, Maura looks through the list and picks out a song. "We'll take turn singing the stanzas, ok? You start."
Sleigh bells ring, are you listening,
In the lane, snow is glistening
A beautiful sight,
We're happy tonight,
Walking in a winter wonderland.
Gone away is the bluebird,
Here to stay is a new bird
He sings a love song,
As we go along,
Walking in a winter wonderland.
In the meadow we can build a snowman,
Then pretend that he is Parson Brown
He'll say: Are you married?
We'll say: No man,
But you can do the job
When you're in town.
Later on, we'll conspire,
As we dream by the fire
To face unafraid,
The plans that we've made,
Walking in a winter wonderland...
The song ends and Jane stares at Maura. We didn't sing TO each other, but that song is about a couple. We sang it together. Did she pick it out for that reason? Or was she singing it to Frost. I was too nervous to pay attention.
Jane hears clapping and realizes that it's over and they can go back to their booth. She slides in with a sigh and takes a big gulp of beer.
"See? That wasn't so bad, was it?" Maura asks sweetly and pats Jane's leg.
Jane rolls her eyes. "Makes my night complete. Karaoke with an ugly sweater on."
The guys laugh.
As they finish their drinks, Jane notices that while Maura is talking with the guys, her thigh is pressed against her own.
Ok, I'm confused. Is she interested in Barry or just being friendly?
Do I want to see if she's interested in me?
Do I dare risk our friendship?
Ug, I keep going around in circles.
God, show me a sign!
Maura starts gathering her things. "I think I'm calling it a night everyone. I had a very pleasant evening. Barry, thank you for being my singing partner. Jane, I hope you had fun singing with me."
"Of course I did Maura." Jane exclaims. "I'll walk out with you."
"Oh hey, if you ladies are leaving, I'll walk out with you." Frost grabs his coat.
"Well, if all of you are leaving, guess I'll go too." Korsak slides out also.
Really? Is this the sign?
The four walk outside. They come to Jane's car first. "I'll walk you to your car Maur."
"I got it Jane. No need for you to walk the good doctor to her car and then walk back to yours. I think she's close to mine." Frost wants to be a gentleman.
Another sucky sign!
"Well ok. Call you tomorrow Maur?"
Maura opens her mouth to ask Jane to walk her, but knew it would look strange when Barry had volunteered.
"Yes, I'll talk to you tomorrow Jane. Good night."
Well, shit. I know. I can go home and google how to flirt with a woman. What am I getting myself into? Only if I feel that it won't ruin the friendship. But I'll be ready!
A/N Happy Winter Solstice. I'm not thrilled with this chapter, but it may fit what I was trying to convey. I feel that Jane if very confused and conflicted this week, so her thoughts (and therefore my writing it seems) are all over the place. I'm attracted to Maura, do I do something about it? Risk the friendship/risk rejection... It's going to turn into fun angsty. Thank you, as always for the reviews and PMs. They really make my day and I so enjoy the PMs. Enjoy your weekend everyone! Try to stay sane!