A/N: (edit 22/12/14) Rewrote some portions, fixed up grammar mistakes and such and formatting has been set. Although, if anyone knows how to do a strikethrough on ff, help would be most appreciated. This fic is unbeta'ed so don't hesitate to let me know if you find any more errors. Thank you for reading!

Working at Anteiku leaves Touka a lot of opportunities to watch both humans and ghouls interact. She learns a lot in general and this helps to shape her views of the world, forming a tapestry in her mind's eye.

What does being a ghoul mean? Have you ever thought about it? Do you think it means having a kagune and cutting down your opponents? Or how about hunting down the humans, enjoying the way they scream and run away when they see you? Like an alpha predator, top of the food chain and reigning supreme.

Well, that's what Touka originally thought. Born as a ghoul just like her brother, she only manifests her kagune if it was to protect her brother or herself. Many a times that has happened, for history is cru

el but humans are the cruelest. Her memories are awash with neighbours and 'friends' that have turned on her the moment they realise that she isn't human. Even till today, the slap of betrayal still stings.

But being a ghoul is so much more, more than the blood and madness, more than the strength and speed and (the joy of killing.)

Most of all, being a ghoul is lonely. It's scary too, because humans always destroy what they do not know or do not understand, and they will hunt them down to the ends of the earth and eliminate her kind just because they can.

"Behave yourself or the ghouls will come and eat you up!"

A child shrieks and apologises tearfully to her mother.

"Your breath stinks like a ghoul!"

"Oh yea? You look just like one yourself!"

"There was a ghoul sighting in the next street from here. It's so scary! I wish all these ghouls would just die. Like what did we ever do to them anyway?"

"I totally agree with you! They're such horrible creatures, feasting on humans. They should suffer the worst death for that."

"If I see a ghoul, I'll fucking kill it."

The plate in her grip cracks. Sometimes, having an excellent hearing isn't as wonderful as it seems.

And people wonder why Touka hates humans, hates them so so much, for being a bunch of fearful pigs squealing in their death throes. Like lambs to slaughter. How much hypocrisy they possess; as if the wars didn't happen, as if children weren't sent out to the battlefields to die, as if men had not killed their own brothers with their bare hands.

They're disgusting. (She is resolutely not thinking about Yoriko now, some things she still aren't sure what to classify as. Yoriko is human but she is nice to Touka, letting her copy notes and helping her whenever she is stumped by homework. Either way, she's human and it's only a matter of time.)

Touka may never admit it but she is scared and jealous of humans. What must it like to live their life so free, without the constant threat of being found out? Humans have a lot of friends; they come to Anteiku in droves and chatter excitedly, eyes bright and hands waving animatedly, warm laughter washing over the atmosphere.

Yet, she never has that. She has always been running with her father and Ayato ever since she was young as they move from place to place.

It's funny but she thinks she doesn't really belong anywhere.

Until Anteiku, that is.

It's not a place where happiness constantly surrounds her but it's a place where she can be slightly less tensed, slightly less guarded around her own. They're all ghouls and they share the same scars. It's enough.

So that's what Touka's view on being a ghoul. A sad existence. A lonely one. Steeped in destruction and pain and bringing nothing but misfortune to those around them. These little threads of knowledge twist and weave around each other, forming a tapestry of the boundaries that define her entire world.

Of course, like a true Kaneki fashion, the moment he enters her life, her entire tapestry starts to unravel right before her very eyes.

Oh just damn you, Kaneki.

Threads begin to frays when Kaneki teaches her that she doesn't have to push herself so hard. That it's ok to fail.

The fighting lessons she has with him are at night, after a busy day of school and working at Anteiku. She's tired; she still needs to finish her homework for tomorrow and her projects are due soon. But she figures that Kaneki's case takes priority over them because without these lessons, he's going to be a sitting duck.

He is still a new ghoul, all doe-eyed and blinking confusion. The blows from his kagune are hesitant and weak, barely hurting her at all. She might as well be fighting a giant toy plushie. Who lets out a muffled groan from the floor.

"Ow..."

"You're not going to improve if you pull your punches like that. Rize's kagune is capable of a rapid onslaught of attacks. Try again!" Frustration leaks into her voice as she watches him struggle to get up. She had a bad day in school today and all she wants is just a peaceful lesson but noooo, Kaneki must be that one slow kid who needs to have the teacher slam the textbook into his face if he is going to learn anything at all. (But that's a huge lie, Kaneki is ridiculously smart. He's in the top university and Touka knows that but all she can see now is this puny kid who can barely fight properly. It's really frustrating.)

"Activate your kagune!"

He gets up to his feet slowly and tendrils of darkness snake around him, thick writhing bands that encircle his body menacingly.

It looks intimidating but Touka really doesn't care. She'll only be scared if he proves to her that he is worthy of her fear. Otherwise, his kagune is just for show.

She launches a swift uppercut, her shadow wings lashing through the air. One of Kaneki's tendrils lifts up to deliver a clumsy block - too late; her kagune slices a portion of his hair away. Kaneki's eyes widen comically.

"You're not taking this serious enough! If you're giving this kind of shitty defense to your enemy, then you're better off dead!" She snaps, her wings flaring out in anger as blood-red veins glow within the inky black. Her anger masks a sharp jagged relief for she had almost killed him. Almost.

"I am taking this seriously, you know," he counters, a small frown on his face.

She sneers, "Prove it." That's all the warning she gives before she throws herself at him, jagged wings snapping open.

She feints a punch and Kaneki, only seeing her rapidly approaching fist, twists to the side and ends up getting a knee to his stomach. The breath leaves his lungs with a whoosh.

She grips him by his collar and flings his body to the air, and then she sends up three swift cuts. Red lines open on his cheek, neck and chest before gravity takes over and he crashes to the ground.

"That's 3 times I could have killed you. So get serious."

Putting a hand on the floor, he slowly pushes himself up.

"I am serious, Touka," he smiles, looking unbothered by the affair even if he is dripping blood on the floor.

She growls and stalks towards him, "You're fucking not." She is tired and exhausted from schooling and working on the same day and she is not going to deal with his attitude.

"Guess I have to show you, huh?" His warm brown eyes twinkle as he stands up and faces her.

"Yes," the words are barely out of her mouth before his tendrils wrap itself around her torso, trapping her arms. Her kagune pierces through the tentacles and the hold loosens, allowing her to jump onto a high beam. Another rope of crimson shoots out and shatters the beam that she is standing on, wood splintering in all directions. As she tries to avoid getting speared by shrapnel she loses her balance and plunges rapidly to the ground. Too late, she looks up and she can't avoid his kagune whipping towards her.

Her hair blows back from her face so the crimson veins in her black eyes are visible. She shuts her eyes, braces herself for impact. Something soft grabs her leg before she jerks up, her fall halted.

She opens her eyes and sees Kaneki's face...except the view is drastically altered. Oh, she's hanging upside down in the air. She looks down (up?) and sees his kagune wrap around her legs. So that's what has stopped her fall.

His other tendrils slowly move towards her. He is watching her the entire time and she grits her teeth and doesn't flinch when she feels the first soft touch on her neck, followed by her torso, arms and legs.

Her heart is thudding loudly in her chest and she fears that he might hear it.

"That's four different ways I could kill you," he says softly, his kagune gently twining around her. He holds her there for another nerve-wracking moment before gently putting her - feet first - on the ground.

"G-g-good job. Improve... I mean you've improved, what a surprise," she says, avoiding his gaze.

"Thank you, Touka. I feel like I've learnt a lot today," amusement laces his voice as he catches sight of the mild flush on her face.

That little shit.

Kaneki may have bested her this time but it somehow, it feels like the whole world is out to get her today, her attempts to remain cool failing spectacularly. In school, she failed four out of her five tests and she has to see the teachers. Fingernails cut into her palms the whole time they talk to her, and she doesn't have to look up to see the disappointment that she just knows will be in their gaze, Also, she has to deal with a bunch of unruly and rude customers and her patience has been wearing thin the entire day.

Before the moment spirals out of control, she gathers what is left of her dignity. She musn't let him know that she's shaken up so she lets anger bleeds over and lashes out, "Why is that you do this now when you could have done it earlier? You're wasting both of our time with your false incompetence. Next time an enemy shows up you're going to spend the first hour like a punching bag? You're going to die, you moron. And then what? You're going to leave Hinami and me and everyone at Anteiku who ever cared about you alone cause you were too much of a dumb shit to use your kagune properly!"

She's trembling slightly from the outburst, eyes aflame and he why on Earth does he have a soft, tender look in his gaze? The hell is wrong with him? She really doesn't know what to do, what to say so she does what she does best: she glares.

"It's fine, you know. You always worry too much about people and - don't even try to argue," he says when he catches her open her mouth to let out a scathing retort no doubt. She closes her mouth.

"You're always pushing yourself, whether it's you working overtime at Anteiku even though you're tired or during the battles when you're injured badly but you're still fighting. And the reason why you push yourself is because you're scared, aren't you?"

A snarl builds up from her throat, "Don't you dare think that you know even a single damn thing about me!" Her kagune unfurls, a dark shroud of danger that looms behind her.

He doesn't even blink, just continue on, "You push yourself because you don't want to lose them, do you? And the reason why you are so harsh on me is because you don't want me to get hurt. Your focus during the lessons is defense moves but you and I both know my rinkaku type of kagune has a lot of brute power in it. You should be teaching me offensive moves instead."

Something snaps. "You want offensive? I'll give you offensive," she snarls and leaps forward to attack.

Clumsy. Too clumsy.

She always loses her temper too quickly with him. It's just something that Kaneki notices. She tends to do a one shot knockout, using her kagune like a huge cleaver and slicing down on her opponent.

He sidesteps neatly to the right and her kagune barely misses him. The floor, being immobile, is not so lucky. Her kagune meets with it with a boom and the floor cracks from the force of her attack, sending a shower of concrete into the air.

In the sudden silence, he calls out, "Touka, I'm not trying to call you out. All I'm saying...is that it's okay to be scared and I respect that you are trying to protect us. It's just...you don't have to pretend that you're strong all the time."

His voice sounds impossibly gentle, as if soothing a wounded animal and Touka hears the concern and warmth in it, feels like his words struck bone deep within, a kernel of truth that hits home. He knows too much and she feels cornered with no way out and she is tired of having her heart out in the open and flinching from the knives that never come.

"We'll call it a day," she says curtly, wanting to be as far away from him as possible. His eyes...they see too much. It feels like a cowardly retreat but right now, she doesn't know how to deal with this. Her head is a mess, thoughts jumping and skittering about with no clear direction.

"Next lesson. Thursday, 7.30pm," she snaps.

She turns around and stalks off even though her mind is screaming at her to just pick up the pace and run run run away already. But she has her pride, thank you very much, and walks off with her typical poise.

When the next lesson comes, she is in a better mood. She doesn't feel as tired as last time because she only has school today. Using the sadly-not-an-excuse-but-the-real-truth, she tells Yoshimura that she needs more time to study because her grades are slipping and he agrees immediately. It frees up her time remarkably, giving her time to (reflect on Kaneki's words) and catch up on her studies.

And if the next combat lesson focuses on extremely aggressive and offensive moves that require split second decision-making and fast reflexes, both of which a particular ghoul is lacking in, then the breaking of Kaneki's collarbone comes of no surprise to anybody. In fact, Touka thinks that he is being let off lightly for his insolence. It only takes thirty minutes for his bones to fuse, during which, Touka takes great satisfaction in calling him a 'slow moving snail crawling along the floor'. Kaneki hides a smile; his fracture is a clean break which makes the healing smoother and less painful. 'She's such a softie,' he thinks, as he sits on the ground to watch her storm around the room.

Even though they end later than usual because Touka refuses to consider the time taken for him to heal as part of the lessons, none of them actually mind. Not that they'll ever admit it in a million years. After all, it's always nice to spend time with those you care about, right?

While Touka may have actually listened to someone's advice and taken it to heart for once, in the end, Kaneki is still an idiot and Touka is still a violent person. Some things just never change.

Silently, her threads start to unspool and parts of the tapestry disappear into a mess of ropes.

Another part of the tapestry starts to go indistinct when he tells that to move into the future, she needs to make peace with the past.

She is walking around in the mall, looking for a book called The Black Goat's Egg. Yes, she hates literature but hearing Kaneki sing praises about it, flushed and excited about the plot and character development, well she just has to take a look at it. It was the first time she had seen Kaneki so overly talkative and literally gushing like a twelve year old girl. Amused barely covers what she had felt. And now, with her curiosity piques, she spends her time searching for that stupid book that is sold out at six different book stores. It seems to be a very popular book, she notes quizzically.

Now, this isn't just a normal shopping trip, this is war. She grits her teeth and stomps off to find another book store, stubbornly sniffing out the last available copies at a small store hidden by other retail outlets.

"Onee san, I want this book," a young boy around ten years old tugs on his older sister's skirt.

"It's too expensive," she tells him, a sad smile on her face. She looks only about two years older than him and yet, Touka can see exhaustion etch on her young face.

Touka cranes her neck and sees that the boy is pointing to a colouring book. The sister squats in front of him, placing both hands on his shoulder, "I'm sorry but it's just the two of us. Dad and mum are gone. One day I'll earn enough money then I can buy these things for you so don't be sad, alright?"

He nods, and throws his arms around her, "It's okay. I'm happy right now because I have you here."

The walls seem suddenly too constructive and she feels like an intruder, caught up in a private moment. Touka hurries to the cashier to pay for the book, takes too long a time trying to count the money with her hands that is shaking and shaking and it won't fucking stop.

"Are you ok?" The cashier eyes her worriedly.

She jerks a nod, hands over the exact amount and book in hand, pelts out of the store. She can't breathe, can barely see past the tears in her eyes that appear unexpectedly.

A name, buried beneath countless other memories, slips past her lips: Ayato.

Always protecting him, caring about his wellbeing and ensuring that he has enough food in his belly. Nights spent shivering underneath cardboard, when they were too poor to rent a house. Day after day roaming the streets, stalking for prey and defending their territory, they were called the Demon Siblings. They were close and fought tooth and nail if another was threatened.

Until Ayato began to question about their father, saw him as someone who was weak and pathetic, and he may be dead but Touka still fiercely defended her father's honour. So they had argued and fought and blood is thicker than water but not anymore. The last thing she saw as she laid bleeding on the ground from the numerous wounds was Ayato's look of complete and utter disdain, before he turned his back on her and walked off.

"Don't look for me," he told her coldly.

She'd watched until his back got smaller and smaller before she lost consciousness. That was years ago.

Maybe it's pathetic of her, to keep thinking about him, wondering if he is doing fine. Because it feels like she is a dog that got abandoned by her owner and still stubbornly pawing at the owner's door to let her in. Every time she sees something that reminds her of Ayato, she has to shut her eyes and pretend that everything is fine, okay? So just leave it.

The sister and the brother at the book store... A past that she once had, and a future that she has now lost.

The pain is fierce, feral and completely unfair.

In a daze, she walks and walks and finally finds herself stopping at a familiar place: Anteiku. Might as well anyway. She wipes away her tears and composes herself, clamps down upon her feelings with an iron will until she is her usual cool and calm self before pushing the door open.

"Welcome, Touka."

She freezes and looks up.

Oh, she forgot. Kaneki is on duty today.

Then he notices the book that she is hugging to her chest and his eyes practically bulge out of his sockets.

"You're reading this?" He asks, his voice high with excitement

"Mind your own business."

She grabs a place for herself at the corner of the cafe, giving a wave to her colleagues.

As she settles down for a comfortable read, she realises that someone is sitting opposite her. With a big grin on his face.

"I can't believe you're reading this. I think you'll really enjoy it."

Oh hell no, she's not going to read it in front of him.

"Aren't you on duty?" She snaps.

He shrugs. "Yoshimura says I can take the day off since today isn't very crowded. I was just about to leave when you walked in with The Black Goat's Egg." His tone takes on a reverential quality when he says the title and Touka has to tamper down her annoyance. What's with this book anyway?

"Mind if I sit here?" He asks sweetly.

"Yes," she grounds out, "I just want to read in peace. Alone."

He gives her a hurt look, and slides out of the chair, "Alright, but let me know what you think about it."

Flipping to the first page, she starts reading. The muffled shout of 'Bye Touka' barely registers and she waves a hand distractedly, eyes glued to the page.

She stays until the café closes, feverishly devouring the book like Kaneki does, even as she is walking home. She reads and reads and feels the plot grip her by the throat and never let go.

The next day, she rapidly dials Kaneki's number.

"Why did he do it? Why did he set fire to his house? He liked that house, it's where he was the happiest and all the good memories were in there. But yea, there are also the bad memories when he finds out about his mum but why, I just don't get why he's erasing his past."

A moment of silence in the other end of the line before Kaneki erupts into laugher.

"What?" she asks peevishly.

When the laughter subsides, he asks, "Did you stay up all night just to finish it?"

She glances at herself in the mirror, sees her messy hair and bitten fingernails, the eye bags and crumpled clothes.

"No," she lies.

Traces of mirth are present in his voice, "Sure. You must be a fast reader then."

"Oh just get to the point. Why did he do it?"

"You really don't know?"

"...Yea."

"It's because he's trapped in the past, thinking about all the times he assumed he was normal. But he never was. In the end, he embraces his darker impulses but he still retains his kindness since he gave his mum a merciful death. He wants to move on the future, and his past was always preventing him from doing so. Do you remember when he saw the toy car he used to have? And has a complete meltdown about it, screwing up the mission so bad that one of his friends were killed? It's a trigger that forces him to face the fact that his past was going to pull him down."

"But he was happy in the past!" She protests.

"Yes," comes the reply, "but don't forget that because he always kept trying to return to his past, he ended up abandoning his future. All he saw were just ghosts and echoes of familiarity, but never anything more."

"He's going to just erase his past like that? That's stupid."

"No Touka, he's not. The past would always remain in his memories, he can never erase the past but he just learns to let go. To embrace the future possibilities. It's like freeing oneself from the weight of the past and that gives him the strength to move on."

"..."

"In a way, he's not stuck anymore. He can now move forward instead of being haunted by his past," Kaneki's voice takes on a gentle tone, "and now, the things in his past can't hurt him anymore."

She sucks in a breath, not realising that she has been holding it the entire time. His last words seem to be aim at her but how could he possible know? Must be a coincidence. This book. Why it's similar to her life as a ghoul. Coincidence, that's right. Just that.

"I see," she says quietly.

" I assume you like it?" He asks and she can hear the smile in his voice.

"Yea, I do. I've got to go now. Thank you, Kaneki."

"You're welcome, Touka," he says warmly before the call ends.

She collapses on her bed, staring at the white washed ceiling. She thinks about the past, how it feels like a shadow of grief that constricts her heart daily, pressing her dry and empty. It's not good. To let go, huh?

She recalls the taste of blood in her mouth, tears sliding down her cheeks as her vision blurs. Ayato, just a figure in the distance.

Yea, I guess some things should remain in the past.

Buried beneath the pain and betrayal, she remembers Ayato's smile, the bright way he greets her when she comes home and the way he throws himself around her waist, exclaiming, "Welcome home!"

It's been a long time but she smiles when she thinks of that memory now, precious beyond belief. Her heart feels lighter, as if the book was a kind of catharsis that expels all her negative emotion till she is left with peaceful solace. (Or maybe it's just Kaneki's words but no, she is still not ready to admit it to anyone. Or herself.)

Exhaustion overcomes her and her eyes slide shut. She sinks into a peaceful slumber.

She awakes later in the day feeling refreshed and finds that Monochrome Rainbow, another book by the same author as The Black Goat' Egg, can only be found in the same bookstore that she first bought her book.

The cashier smiles knowingly when she sees it in her hands.

"The author is highly talented," she remarks.

Touka receives her change and smiles back, "Absolutely."

Stepping out of the store, she sees the same brother and sister. They're holding hands and walking towards the book store, some notes clutch tightly in the sister's hand and the boy looking like he is going to receive a huge present. Maybe he is.

She puts two and two together and comes to a decision.

As she walks home that day, a spring in her step and an upturn of her lips, she recalls the look of surprised joy on their faces when she hands over a bag of colouring pencils and the colouring book that the boy wanted. She even threw in a copy of a popular children book because children really should read. It's good for them.

She may be a few dollars lighter but dang, does she feel like she can float to the sky now.

The past can't hurt him anymore.

Kaneki's words pass through her mind and she thinks that setting fire to a house may be overdoing things a bit, but she understands the main character's intention and it's alright, she supposes. The significance is still there.

The dark patch on the tapestry, that has been present ever since it was weaved, slowly lightens to form a warm brown colour then turns gold. The threads unravel; golden lines that float gently around in the space.

There is only a small part of the tapestry left. The fabric shivers and some fibers begin to unravel.

The last thing Kaneki teaches her that ghouls can be gentle. Impossibly and unbelievably gentle.

A ghoul's body is a killing machine; RC cells are meant to harden, to cut through flesh and their tongue is attuned to the perfect symphony of human blood and meat. Violence and death is in their nature, it is weaved into their DNA. You cannot blame a wolf for killing, do you?

And yet, there are ghouls like Hinami. And yet, there are ghouls who kill for survival and only that, nothing more. And yet, even a wolf seeks solace and company in its pack. And yet, and yet, and yet. Exceptions, distinct entities from the majority, unique in their own moral codes.

Sometimes, the stain of blood is so corrosive that Touka looks at the pale flesh of her hands and sees crimson coating them. Unclean. No matter how much she scrubs, it's still there in the corner of her eye.

But Kaneki is still new into the world of ghouls, still unsullied and innocent. A bright flare that lights up the gloom in her life and she finds herself inextricably drawn to this gentle soul.

Touka chalks it up to curiosity about how Kaneki copes with the destruction lying hidden within his cell so she decides to keep an eye on him. Shut up, she is not stalking him goddamnit. Just making sure he is adjusted, that's all. Some people are just seeing things that aren't there.

Kaneki eats his breakfast at 9.00am on the weekends and look; she was just passing by his house by accident and caught sight of him adding blood cubes into his coffee, practically inhaling it. He sighs happily, closing his eyes and wrapping his hands around the mug as if to savour the warmth.

When he finishes his drink, he trails his fingers along the spines of his books that line up his apartment, a smile on his face. Then he'll root around the house for a bag of...cat food? Oh, he's leaving the house. Ah shit, shit shit! She darts behind the staircase.

Apparently, Kaneki feeds stray cats. Even though they can smell the ghoul on him because they seemed hesitant to approach him, they don't hiss or swipe at him with their claws. She knows, she has tried approaching strays before. But it must be because he's only a half ghoul so maybe the smell isn't that strong. He leaves a bowl of the cat food and sits back on his heels, waiting for the cats to pad out.

"Hello Kuro," he coos at a black cat with golden eyes, scratching it under the chin. Its eyes narrow into slits and a purr rumbles in its chest, hopping onto his lap and looking as contented as a cat can be.

A white cat paws mournfully at his knee, and he laughs, picks it up and deposits it onto his lap. "And hello to you too, Shiro." The black cat, Kuro, shoots Shiro an annoyed look, if that is possible, and proceeded to climb up his shoulders, looking down at the other cat in disdain.

"Don't fight, you guys," Kaneki smiles, stroking Shiro and that cat must have an engine in his chest because it is purring rather loudly.

Watching him looking so happy like that, her theory falls apart. It isn't because he is a half ghoul that the cats approach him. Rather, it's because he knows these cats, he must have fed them often enough until they remember him. Even if he does smell a bit off, like blood and danger, the cats still know it is him underneath it all, the boy who feeds them and plays with them ever since they were first abandoned as small kittens in the neighbourhood. It feels like there's a lump in her throat and she doesn't even know why.

Maybe it's because the cats recognise that it's him underneath the taint, like being a ghoul doesn't change the fact that they still consider him as a friend. His slim fingers caress their fur gently, so impossibly gently and something twists violently in her chest.

She thinks of the people who found out that she was a ghoul, remembers the fear in their eyes and she compares it with the adoration shining in the cats' who plaster themselves over him. She has to walk away from the scene because the trust in the cats' eyes is too much to bear. It's like her insides have been scrape open. She still can hear Kaneki's clear laughter as his cats amuse him with their antics.

She has a 2pm shift today at Anteiku so she returns home and tries not to think too much about this.

As she goes about her work and she tends to the customers, she finds a familiar face.

"Good afternoon, Touka," Kaneki greets, looking up from the book he is reading. He decides to spend his weekend at Anteiku to finish up on another book.

She nods and inquires, "Hello, is there anything I can get you?"

"A coffee with a foam drawing, please," he says and offers her a smile.

She returns it because it's professional policy to smile at customers and Yomo will scold her if she has a 'resting face' on, an expression akin to a bored panther deciding whether it should tear off your face or rip off your head. In short, something that customers don't want to witness.

She returns with a cup of steaming coffee, adding a blood cube inside because Kaneki is looking pale lately and she just wants him to be able to fight properly during the next combat lesson, that's all. A picture of rabbit floats gently in the coffee, and Kaneki takes it from her with a warm smile. Her eye catches on black and white fur on his lap.

"Enjoy your coffee, sir," she says stiffly before heading back to the counter.

He uses his phone to snap a picture of his coffee, the rabbit face smiling at the camera before he slips his phone back into his pocket. Taking a sip of his drink, he gives a small smile as he realises the extra ingredient inside. The front door bursts open and Hinami runs in, "Kaneki-kun!"

"You're just in time for our lessons, Hinami-chan," he says, and puts away his book.

She clambers onto the chair and takes out the homework Kaneki had assigned to her last week. Touka makes her way over, a smile blossoming on her face as she catches sight of the girl which she considers as a sister.

"Touka onee-san! It's good to see you," she beams.

She places a plate of cup of coffee in front of her, "On the house, but you must study hard, alright?"

Hinami's eyes widen to the size of dinner plates, " I will! Thank you so much!"

Kaneki watches the exchange with fondness in his eyes.

The day passes quickly; with Touka sneaking glances at the two to make sure everything is ok. Watching how patient and encouraging Kaneki is with Hinami, who is equally hard working and determined, sends a wave of tenderness through her heart. Goddamnit, I'm such an inverterate sap she thinks to herself, unable to wipe the smile of her face.

Weeks later, Yomo is off on a mission and Yoshimura sends Kaneki with her to the cliffs at night to collect the bodies of those who have committed suicide. By some unlucky coincidence, they come face to face with some CCG investigators. Touka curses.

There are five of them, they don't have quinque with them but their guns are up and there is no mercy in their eyes.

"I'll distract them while you take this bag and run," Touka says and activates her kagune. Under the faint moonlight, the scarlet veins in her wings glow even more ominously, making her look like a true predator of the night.

"Wait," he places a hand on her shoulder until she faces him, "Do you trust me?"

She wants to snap at him that now isn't the time but something in his eyes stop her.

"Yes," she answers.

"Then let me distract them while you run," he says quietly, tone brooking no argument.

She stares at him, sees the seriousness glinting in his eyes like steel, then nods, "Be careful."

Her kagune melts into the air and she picks up the bag and she is running, running, gone.

The first shot rings out, but it's blocked by his kagune. His mask is on his face before he steps forward, "I don't want to hurt you."

The barrage of fire answers him and he ducks away. A stray bullet clips his leg and be stumbles.

"Get him!"

A tentacle slams into one of the investigators and the unlucky bloke finds himself smashing into tree after tree after tree. He blacks out.

The others hiss angrily and open fire again. Another bullet grazes Kaneki's arm but he barely flinches. The men then find themselves hanging upside down by their legs, a rope of muscle gripping them tightly. Their shots decrease in accuracy thereafter.

"Look, we both want to live. Now put down your guns and knives and I promise, I swear I'll let you go."

A bullet flies past his ear.

"Oh yea? What makes you think we can believe you?"

Another bullet buries itself inches from his foot.

"Would you prefer if I kill you all right this moment?" Kaneki snaps. He's trying not to but the blood in the air is making it harder to think.

He breathes hard, glaring at each and every one of them.

One of the guys drops his gun with a clatter. And another. Soon, all four of them have done it.

"Thank you," he says.

Then he throws them up into the air and disappears into the forest. They let out a surprised shout, before dropping onto a pile of bushes which break their fall, shaken up but unharmed. The only injury sustained that night was the man who was thrown into the trees. He suffered a few broken ribs and had bruises all over but he was fine and something told him he had gotten off lucky. Everyone thought the same way about themselves too.

Kaneki stumbles out of the forest, entering the urban areas and he takes care to keep to the alleys. The bullet wound on his leg has stopped bleeding but it throbs in time with every breath. Yet the pain lessens as minutes pass, the regenerative power of his half ghoul body kicking in. I hope Touka is okay, he thinks, one hand on the wall as he shuffles along.

As he steps over a pile of rubbish, the feeling of being watched sends the hairs on his neck tingling.

Very slowly, he looks up.

"You're too kind, Kaneki." She is standing on the roof with a frown on her face and her arms folded, a perfect picture of disapproval.

He lets out a sigh, then realises that his mask is still on his face. He removes it and drops his hand, the mask hanging at his side.

A potent aura of displeasure emits from Touka but he makes his stand and continues to look at her.

In one eye, there is the warm brown hue of a human and in the other, the vivid clash of black and red swirling in the depths of a ghoul.

"Being kind...is that so bad?" His eyes are bright and open as he patiently waits for an answer.

Touka is stunned. She knew what happened in the forest; of course he let them off. Didn't even give them any scars. But he ended up getting hurt goddamnit and she won't have that. So here she is confronting him about it and she was expecting him to be defensive or angry. But this? Calmly accepting that yes, he is an absolute and complete baka for sparing the lives of the enemies? And now he is asking if kindness is really that bad?

Yet, from the way Kaneki looks at her like she is the one who is hurt, with gentle compassion and earnest understanding gleaming in his eyes, she finds herself fixed to the spot and lost for words.

They stay silent for a long time, watching each other under the gentle cast of the moon as the wind smooth over their faces.

Touka is the one who breaks eye contact first.

"You have the afternoon shift at Anteiku tomorrow. Don't be late."

There is a faint whisper of fabric before Touka vanishes off the roof. He stares at the place where she used to be, speaking softly and knowing that only a ghoul can hear him clearly, "Goodnight, Touka."

She ignores him. It's possible for ghouls to be kind, to choose when to kill even if their lives are threatened. Hidden in the shadows, Touka mulls over Kaneki's stand.

When there is no reply forthcoming, Kaneki isn't surprised. He's not expecting it anyway. He knows that she doesn't like it when he ends up hurt but he thinks it's possible that both humans and ghouls can work together. He knows it. Testing his used-to-be-injured-leg, he is satisfied that he is completely healed and he continues walking.

And if he notices a particular shadow flitting from roof to roof as he makes his way home, then he's kind enough to just accept that this is just how things are going to be. Besides, even if he does argue about it, she would deny it all the way to her last breath.

Kaneki grins to himself.

After all, how many people can say that they have their very own guardian angel ghoul?

Touka may not agree with his stand, but she can look after him from the sidelines.

The last thread snaps and her tapestry, the very world that she stands upon crumbles into dust. The floor below her disappears. Touka shuts her eyes as she is flung into freefall, wind whipping her face as the feeling of weightlessness overcomes her. As she falls, she braces herself for the impact, knowing that Kaneki has destroyed all her ropes. All that awaits her below is a shattered body.

But no, that's not right. She isn't falling. Her eyes snap open and she sees that her kagune is unfurled, black wings catching an updraft and pushing her upwards.

She smiles then, bright and giddy with joy because she isn't falling, oh no, not by a long shot.

She's soaring.

And the lines that she weaves no longer hold any significance, so she releases her tapestry to the wind. Lines may define boundaries, but they can easily trap her inside too. But with the threads drifting away, Touka flies into a new world.

A thought suddenly pops up in her mind. Kaneki would be proud.

It takes a moment before she processes it. Of course her moment of triumph is ruined by Him. Of course it does. Her life is a fucking tragedy.

The euphoria from her self-reflection and self-actualization drains away.

Why is she even thinking about him now? He keeps interfering with her life and meddling in her brain, always getting hurt too easily and he can barely fight properly because he hits like a girl. He's absolutely annoying.

Her phone chimes a reminder, interrupting her reverie and she cracks open her eye to read it: Meeting with Kaneki for extra kagune offense lessons.

On her bed, she rolls over and puts a pillow over her head.

She groans. Argh, what a pain.

A/N: Nice to know that when the lessons of the world begin to lose their meaning, Touka decides to embrace her ghoul side. Oh, regarding The Black Goat's Egg, I don't claim to know the exact plot, I just made it up. XD

Hope you enjoy it! If it's not too much trouble, please leave a comment to share what you thought about this fic. It's always nice to hear from readers. Thank you!