Hello everyone! Wow, it's been a long time since I last updated and for that, I can only aplologise for the long wait as I was busy rewriting some parts. Thank you for bearing with me :)

Many thanks to my betas SirGregSloth and xxxDreamingflowerxxx. SirGregSloth, you are indeed a true sir. Your help in crafting the fic and fruitful discussions are always appreciated. Thanks for giving me your opinion on how to improve. *tips hat and clinks tea cups* XD

For all the daily hilarious conversations and writing advice, thank you xxxDreamingflowerxxx. (I seriously think you are a speed demon *coughs* I mean a really motivated writer.) High five!

Any remaining mistakes are mine.

Turning into a half-ghoul has thrown his life in disarray. Before, his life was mundane and organized. He woke up, he went to university, then he returned home to finish up the homework and proceeded to sleep. Rinse, dry, repeat.

It was dull and maybe a little lonely.

If he was being honest about it, then it was very lonely.

Hide is a good friend, but he has his own buddies too and he only shares two classes with him. It's not a lot. That's why Kaneki likes to read books; it takes away the edge of loneliness, the bone deep sadness of never being noticed, never being wanted.

But right now, with the people he has met on his journey as a half-ghoul, he can say that he has met some great people he considers as friends. Well, most of them. It's really hard to read Yomo's mood and Nishiki keeps insulting him, Touka has violent mood swings and Yoshimura looks peaceful most of the time, although Tsukiyama kinda creeps him out a bit, Hinami is probably the sanest around, Enji likes to tease him a lot and Irimi just smiles mysteriously whenever she sees him while Uta fixates on him with intense stares which makes him uncomfortable and he gets the feeling that Itori is hiding something from him despite her cheerful demeanour and –

Okay, he's rambling.

The thing is, he really likes them and he hopes they feel the same way too. They're a bunch of really colourful people and something in him feels lighter whenever he's with them.

As if the burden of loneliness has loosened up.

Working at Anteiku gives Kaneki plenty of chance to bear the brunt of Touka's rants, ahem, I mean, work together with her.

At 5pm in the evening on a particular busy day, he's stuck in the kitchen, washing the ever increasing piles of cutlery and coffee cups while the others are out at the shop front frantically taking down orders and preparing them. The back kitchen – where he is at – is filled with the sound of running water and the soft swish of the cloth as he washes the cups amidst the distant hustle and bustle.

Touka would be bringing him another trolley of dirty plates so he figures that he's probably going to be stuck here doing this. He'd better clean them properly till they "shine like a bald guy's head under the spotlight," before the girl would come around later. Touka's words, not his. And she had given him that look, the one that said he'd better accomplish it if he wants to live to see another day.

If anyone asks Kaneki, why he doesn't retaliate after another angry outburst from Touka, it's because he can tell that she has been through a lot and he knows that he looks weak in her eyes. And he is, sorta. When he was completely human, the terror of ghouls was like a small black patch in his mind, a distant nightmare. Sure, ghouls killed people, but it wasn't happening to him or anyone close to him. It was like a nuclear bomb – it may sound scary, but the likelihood of that occurring was pretty slim. As such, he didn't pay much heed to it.

He was ignorant of the horrors of the ghoul world for most of his life and his transformation to a half ghoul was a painful experience and it still is.

There are things that he doesn't know, not yet, maybe never, and he can see the haunted light in Touka's eyes. The one that spoke volumes about the things that she had seen and the things she had done for the sake of survival when she was just a small child, forced to kill in order to protect her family. It stays with you, that kind of trauma, the knowledge that life can be extinguished as easily as breathing. Compared to hers, his life experience is nothing.

So, maybe he thinks that Touka can be pretty unreasonable at times and a bit violent (oh, who's he kidding? She has anger management problems the size of the Jupiter) but at heart, he can tell she's a good person. As grumpy as a bear, but she means well by pushing others to their absolute limits.

"Kaneki, the fuck are you standing there for? Get back to work, you lazy piece of shit!" Touka shouts as she pushes in a trolley full of dirty utensils.

Scratch that, she's scary as hell!

"Yes, ma'am!"

As she dumps another stack of dirty plates into the trolley, the whole stack wobbles dangerously before coming to a deceptive stillness. It's getting full and unless she can distort the laws of physics to accommodate more plates, she should stop stacking them and pass them over to Kaneki for him to wash.

A quick glance at the hordes of customers makes her hesitate. She should be serving them, not bringing this over to the kitchen. With the additional porcelain plates, the total time needed to make the two-way trip is going to take 3 minutes and 19 seconds and judging from the look of impatience on the customers' faces, 3 minutes and 19 seconds is a long time for them.

Yomo must have some super ninja skills or something, because he suddenly appears to her right and tells her in a low voice, "Take a 15 minutes breather. I'll cover you."

With a grateful look, she nods her thanks and begins to push the trolley to the back. She's beginning to seriously wonder why they are using porcelain cutlery of all things. Not only are they unwieldy and breakable, they fucking weigh a ton. It feels like she's pushing an elephant.

After she dumps this over to Kaneki, she swears she is going to get a warm cup of coffee and relax.

Oh wait, she still has to inspect the quality of Kaneki's washing. Ugh. There's no rest for the weary or some shit like that.

If anyone asks Touka why she is being especially hard on Kaneki, well, who wouldn't? Look at him! He has spent most of his life as a human and he was suddenly thrust into her world. That bright, vulnerable look in his eyes has barely worn off; he's like a small deer tottering on unsteady legs into the caves of dragons.

It's infuriating and pissing her off for no reason whatsoever.

(It reminds her of herself...

The her from a long, long time ago.)

Argh, now isn't the time to think back on the past, now is the time to focus on a black-haired male with clear brown eyes and a gentle smile...

He can fear her, he can hate her, he can curse her name for the rest of his life but she will make him stronger. She will sharpen his edge and strengthen his mettle if that means he can stop getting hurt like the damn trouble magnet he is. Him and his lofty ideals of a world where ghouls and human can coexist peacefully.

Some people are just too damn caring for their own good. (A part of her is cackling madly, Pot calling the kettle black, much? She locks it in a cage and throws it into the lake of burning lava.)

In any case, she'll do whatever it takes to protect him by making him stronger.

With that in mind, she nods to herself and steps into the kitchen –

– Only to see that damn idiot, just staring off into space when he's supposed to be working!

"Kaneki, the fuck are you standing there for?! Get back to work, you lazy piece of shit!"

"Oh man, you were getting abused by her." Enji comments as Kaneki walks back to the counter after Touka has verbally assaulted his incompetence in doing the very basic of basic things called cleaning. While Enji is a carefree and easy going person, even he felt that Touka was really overdoing it when it came to Kaneki. He's never seen her so hard on anyone before.

Kaneki gives a sheepish smile. "I deserved it anyway. I did miss a spot."

"Yeah, but it was just one. Heck, when I clean, I miss more than one area and even she's not as harsh on me as she is to you. Did you insult her in your last life or something?"

"I'm sure I didn't. Maybe she just wants me to improve faster?" He scratches his head, and continues, "I guess she has high expectations."

"You're not even slightly angry?"

"Nope, why should I? I should have been more careful. Besides," and in a rare show of gesture, Kaneki winks, "I kinda get the feeling she's looking out for me."

At that, Enji throws back his head and laughs.

"You know, I've just realised something. The only person I know that she is this harsh on–"

"–Is Nishiki," Kaneki cuts in. They let the mental image of those two screaming at the top of their lungs at each other sink in, before bursting out in peals of laughter.

When it subsides, Enji wipes a tear and says, "Nah, that person is herself."

Kaneki considers this. It makes sense. Even Uta had mentioned she was a hard worker, pushing herself till the breaking point to complete a task. And the same level of stubbornness and raging anger was unleashed on him, as if she was goading him to be better, to rise above her scolding and prove to her that he's strong.

Huh, it suddenly makes god awful sense now.

"You're right," he says.

Grinning, Enji says, "That's right, I'm right! Now help me bring these crates up to the storeroom."

"I knew there was a reason why you talked to me."

"Well it's sure not because of your looks."

"Then it's because of my rippling muscular physique?"

"Absolutely, it's definitely that half-starved stick-thin physique you've got there."

With a chuckle, Kaneki lifts the boxes and heads to the storeroom, Enji grinning beside him.

In Kamii University, there lies a spider. Who spins its webs day in, day out, weaving the nest where it resides in the middle, a bloated creature watching the inhabitants with its beady eyes. It creeps up a wall on long spindly legs which are the colour of obsidian, fangs out and quivering in anticipation.

"Argh, what the shit?! Stupid spider!" Nishiki's chair falls with a clatter on the floor, surprise and anger – fear, actually – warring on his face as he crouches behind his desk. He eyes the offending spider warily.

It's a little known fact, but Nishiki is afraid of them.

Yes, he's a flesh-eating ghoul and can kill anyone within 5 seconds flat, but show him a spider and he's going to nope the fuck out of here. It's complicated.

Still, he's going to prove why ghouls are at the top of the food chain. He's going to crush that monster (hopefully. Maybe. Some day.)

He rolls up a piece of newspaper and shakily stands up, inching closer and closer and –

The spider twitches.

"Urgh!" A strangled gasp passes through his lips and he's at his door, the point furthest away from it. If he was a cat, his fur would be standing on end like a giant fur ball and hissing his hatred for that vermin. As it is, he's a ghoul and far more dignified in his display of fear.

He shuts the door and runs.

Too caught up in trying to increase the distance between that thing and him, he doesn't notice his surroundings and in retrospect, that was really careless of him.

He crashes into someone who lets out a surprised oof!

"Watch where you're going," he blusters, not even pausing in his tracks to look at the person.

"Nishio-sempai?"

Oh. It's that one-eyed brat.

He stops and turns around to face him, "What do you want, shithead?"

Kaneki, in a simple white shirt and brown pants is carrying a bag on his shoulders, which he adjusts as the strap had fallen off in the encounter. He asks quizzically, "Are you alright? You look pale."

"Tch, I'm fine." He looks away in haughty disdain. What an unlucky coincidence to see him. He just wants to find Kimi, not this dumb-looking brat whom he can snap like a twig if he wants to. For a half-ghoul, he looks so scrawny and worthless – just like horse crap.

It's funny how mentally insulting someone can make you feel better. Arrogance, that Nishiki can do. It's familiar ground, after all.

"Oh Nishiki, I came to tell you that Hide asked if you could pass him the logistics for our school's cultural festival."

Nishiki knows that the logistics are in the third shelf at the window, saved on a thumb drive which he uses for school matters. But that meant going into his room. With it.

He's beginning to think his tactical retreat may not be such a good idea after all. When he returns to his room, he would have no idea where it could have gone. It could be prowling around his bed, lurking in his shoes, creeping up the side of his neck, argh! Anything!

But wait… he casts a sly look at Kaneki.

"Are you afraid of spiders?"

Confused at the sudden change of topic, Kaneki blinks, then replies, "No, why?"

Just perfect.

"In exchange for the logistics, I require you to perform an exorcism in my room. What say you?"

"Um, sure. But what has exorcism and demons got to do with spiders?"

Nishiki waves his hands dismissively. "What's the difference?"

After a whole 30 minutes of Kaneki trying to catch the spider and Nishiki 'helping' him out by standing at the door and insulting both the spider and the half-ghoul's pathetic attempts to locate the darn thing, the spider was eventually caught in a cup where it was released on the first level of the school building furthest away from Nishiki's dormitory.

As they walk back towards his room to collect the thumb drive, Kaneki thinks it's time to stop ignoring the obvious.

"So you're afraid of spiders…"

"I'm not afraid. I just don't like to see one. Or touch them." He shudders briefly, imagining the coarse hair of spindly-leg brushing against his arm.

"And you better not tell anyone about this or I'll tell Touka that you were the one who spilled coffee on her rabbit jacket."

Kaneki freezes.

A few weeks ago, he had accidentally upturned a cup of the steaming black liquid on the table and in his haste to clear the spill; he grabbed at whatever cloth he found in the cleaning closet and used it to wipe the mess. The closet didn't have any lights on, so it was pitch-black and his fumbling fingers had come into contact with something soft and cottony.

He didn't think.

He rushed out and mopped up the mess and it was only after it was over did he look at the 'cloth' with growing horror. Touka had left her jacket in the closet when she came for her shift and he had used it! The large black stain grew larger and he'd immediately dumped it in the sink, trying to wash the stain off to no avail. And then Touka came clomping down the stairs with a murderous expression on her face because he had given the wrong order to a customer. So he'd endured another bout of her rants and by the end of it, he thought it would be best if he didn't tell her about her jacket. A guy can only take a full blown tirade up to a certain point before he's feeling washed out and sick with nausea. And that was that.

Somehow, Nishiki had found out about this incident and his inner voice screams BLACKMAIL to him. Still, Kaneki doesn't want to be a victim of her rage again (he's not a masochist, thank you very much, and he possesses a level of self-preservation. It's telling him that the rabbit jacket is practically sacred in the eyes of Touka. She went ballistic when she found out the state of her jacket, but since no one – him excluded – knew what happened, she was left fuming and seethed at everyone in general. If he wants his internal organs to remain in his body, either he explains to her what happened while she is in a forgiving mood – unlikely – or he stays silent forever. No prizes for guessing which path he took.)

Keeping Nishiki's arachnophobia seems like the lesser of two evils.

"Ah… that's okay."

Nishiki smirks, "Thought you'd say that."

Feeling immensely charitable, he adds, "You know, Touka has changed ever since you arrived. The first time I met her, the look in her eyes could freeze hell twice over. But now, she's more open, more talkative and she gets pissed more often. I think it's because you're a shithead. If there's one thing I know about her, it's that she can't stand idiots, as she tends to rage whenever she meets one." He gives him a sly look, pleased at the insinuations of Kaneki's perceived ineptness.

Ignoring the insults (he's getting really good at this), Kaneki asks, "What was she like before she met me?"

"Hmm…" Nishiki puts a hand to his chin, "She didn't talk much and she was really cold. She'd beat up anyone who even looked at her wrong and she was like a lone wolf, angry, feral and dangerous." He looks at Kaneki, and adds, "She must really dislike you."

Kaneki merely nods. That confirms his suspicion that Touka didn't have a normal childhood. Not by a long shot. How many times has she been broken until she remains too scared to let others in?

"I don't think so. I mean, if you look closer, there are a lot of things left unsaid between the lines. She's full of contradictions."

"Oh yeah?" Nishiki raises an eyebrow, "For example?"

"Well… Touka calls me a moron every day but she stays with me while I clean up the store after everyone has gone back home. She's extremely aggressive during our combat lessons, but she always patches me up when a few of my more severe injuries can't heal properly. No matter how busy she is, she always checks on me a few times a day during my work shift to make sure I'm managing fine, although she just takes the time to insult me. And once, I didn't eat for a few days and she just gave me a cup of coffee with the blood cubes inside, claiming there were some extra coffee beans lying about that she didn't want to go to waste. But I saw her take them from the newest batch of our delivery. So I don't really agree with what you think of her."

It's the longest conversation Nishiki has ever heard from Kaneki. Most of the time, he would mumble his way through, but the way he had said it, with so much certainty and confidence in his words, well, that was a first for him.

"Oh, is that so? She sounds like a completely different person. And you remembered all this?"

Kaneki must have realised it himself when he suddenly catches himself and blushes.

"Just something I've noticed."

Nishiki snorts, "Whatever. For all that dumb look on your face, you pick up on a lot of things."

It was a backhanded compliment, but Kaneki takes what he can get. "Uh…thanks?"

"And keep your mouth shut about today or I'll kill you."

That's more like the Nishiki he knows. "Ok."

As he walks back towards the school building with a thumb drive in hand, after Nishiki has unceremoniously made him wait outside his room, Kaneki reflects on the conversation. It wasn't that he stalks Touka or anything, he simply observes.

It's funny, but he thinks Touka shows the most amounts of emotions to him – whether be it annoyance, anger, worry or contentment. Protective, is what a voice in his heart says, and he can't agree more.

He knows that Touka guards her heart and soul like a dragon does for its hoard, so every little glimpse she allows, however small that may be, feels like the silver moon rising over the sea.

"Touka, I made this for you!" Yoriko beams and takes out a bento box from her bag and shoves it into her face.

"Oh, er… you shouldn't have." This close to her face, Touka can smell the noxious fumes of human food polluting the air. Ugh, how can humans eat this stuff?

"That's alright; I made it especially for you." She makes another motion with the bento box and Touka reluctantly takes it and places it on her lap.

"Thank you." She looks at the dubious present with a mixture of determination and resignation, mentally calculating how long it would take to expel the whole mass of food that sits waiting like a poisonous scorpion behind the cheerful looking Hello Kitty box.

"Aren't you going to eat it?" Yoriko asks, looking slightly crestfallen at the less-than-warm reception she received. She had thought it was a good idea, seeing as how little Touka ate.

"Oh," Touka looks up, "I'm really grateful you made this for me, but I'm not really hungry now. I'll finish this after class alright?"

"Promise?" The amount of hope and trust in her eyes is unbelievable.

She can hardly believe it herself when she finds herself saying, "Promise. I'll even eat it in front of you."

In retrospect, that was a stupid, stupid thing to agree to.

Her stomach turns uneasily as nausea grips a hold of her, warm liquid spilling out from her lips as she bends over the toilet bowl.

She had made good on her promise, and Yoriko looked extremely satisfied, as if the sole purpose of her life was to feed her as much as possible. After shovelling the food into her mouth as fast as she could so she didn't have to taste any of it, she had told her to go home first as she needed to collect something from a teacher. In actual fact, she locked herself up in the bathroom, puking her guts out and feeling dizzy from the exertion. How long has she been gagging here anyway? The food wasn't even that much, but her stomach clenches in agony as she unleashes another string of vomit.

God, she hates her life right now.

But it is with grim satisfaction that she had done it. Yoriko didn't make the food for nothing.

Later, with shaky legs and her mind a black chasm of exhaustion, she takes the train home. Her day just got from bad to worse when she sees a familiar person sitting opposite her.

"Hello Touka-chan," Kaneki greets warmly, when he catches sight of her stumbling into the train.

"Shut up," she growls and collapses on the seat with relief. Sweat beads her forehead and her hair hangs lanky and thin from her head. Her complexion is pale, her breathing shallow and the usual heat in her words seems muted, as if her fire is dampened.

Kaneki saw all that and more, and being the caring person he is, asks, "What happened?"

Defensiveness tightens her shoulders and she crosses her arms. She really wants some peace and quiet on the train, but she refuses to look weak and vulnerable to him. Anyone but that idiot!

"Yoriko," she says it like a challenge, a wounded animal driven by pain and fear.

"Ah…" he says, nodding to himself. It made sense. He has heard of her friend and it reminds him of Hide. A human friend who unknowingly cares about a ghoul. As dangerous as it seems, the ghoul just can't extricate himself/herself from the warm smiles and gentle companionship. It seems she even ate the food Yoriko had prepared for her despite the havoc it caused to a ghoul's body.

There's something really amusing about it.

"What are you smiling at, shithead?" She's bristling and she has no idea what he's thinking, but she will not allow herself to be mocked in any way.

"Nothing."

The knowing smile on his face annoys her. There's understanding and fondness in his gaze and she has no bloody idea why would anyone give her that look. Faced with indecision, she just glares at him.

"Mind your own – hurgh!"

She must have pushed herself from the long walk to the train station, because her stomach is twisting on itself and the urge to throw up presses hard against her throat like a steel blade. She puts her hand in front of her mouth, trying to push down the reflex to gag. Not now! She frantically thinks. I'm on the train.

"Are you okay?" He stands up and walks towards her, looking at her with concern as his hands ghost over her arms.

She glares. The meaning is clear: What do you think, idiot?

Her throat shutters open traitorously for a moment, but it is enough for some bile to flow into her mouth. It is with some difficulty that she swallows it back, grimacing in disgust at the acid hot taste.

"Nausea, am I correct? Also light-headedness and stomach uneasiness." Kaneki rattles off and when Touka nods grudgingly in confirmation, he walks back to his bag and takes out something. It's a small bottle; slightly smaller than her pinkie finger.

She leans away when he brings it to her.

"Go away, Kaneki! I don't need your fucking help!" she snarls at him ferociously. She's fine! She can do this on her own! Nausea rises like a tsunami wave and she pushes it down with all the willpower she can muster.

His hand falls to his side as he stands there, looking at her like a lost child.

Her stomach gurgles menacingly and she clamps her throat shut, gritting her teeth and wishing she was anywhere but here.

Shutting her eyes, she inhales through her nose – and catches a whiff of a delicately sweet and refreshing scent.

It quells the nausea almost immediately.

She opens her eyes. The vial is open and he is holding it in front of her face.

"What's that?" She asks and looks at it with suspicion. She takes another cautious sniff and confirms that the scent comes from the small bottle that is currently nestling in his palm.

"Tiger lily. I quite like its scent."

He gives a hesitant smile.

She looks at the small bottle again.

"It stopped the nausea." Soft surprise underlines her words as she wraps her fingers around the cool glass.

"It… It helps me when I'm not feeling well. I thought it might help with what you're experiencing." He finishes the last sentence in a rush and places it into her hands, the brief contact sending a trail of warmth up her spine.

"Keep it." He says, and steps back.

A gift. She cradles the small bottle, bringing it closer to her face and inhaling the delicate scent.

"… Thanks."

"You're welcome, I hope you're feeling better." He walks back to his seat and watches her with soft brown eyes.

"Yeah… I do."

She takes another deep breath of the calming smell, a soothing balm that washes away the spiky green sickness she had felt earlier and gives a slight smile. She's really feeling better.

Looking up, she catches a gentle smile on his face and she has to immediately look away. Her chest feels a little too warm for her comfort.

Still, she grips the small vial tighter and brings it closer to her heart.

The train ride passes in companionable silence, each staring out of the windows at the scenery. If their eyes catch each other in the reflection a few times, yeah well, trees become fucking boring after a while.

This is more of an experimental piece than anything since I wanted to show things from Kaneki's perspective. There's less of a contemplative mood for this plus I brought in Enji (the snark buddy you always wanted) and Nishiki (the closet scaredy-cat). What do you all think about this chapter? Did you like that there were more characters or should I just focus more on Touka then? You tell me. Don't hesitate to share your thoughts so I know how I should approach the next chapter. Many thanks!

Oh yea, remember the new Touken series I mentioned? The one that is (hopefully) spectacular, (possibly) awesome and (probably) nice? It's out and it's called 'The Centipede's Sting'. You can check it out if you like and maybe it's your cup of tea - which would be great - and maybe it's not - well, that's cool too. ^^

Cheers friends!