Chapter Eight: Shadow

Some could argue that the darkness is far more frightening than silence. The ability to hear the terror of those around you, to know that something is there without the ability to pierce through the shadows to see what could be stalking you or if you are simply making a monster from nothing harmful. The darkness at least, has much more imagination to create than the quiet…

The Outsider –

Being unseen, it is the core of what I am, of what I represent within the void. I am seen only when I will it, otherwise I am shadows, nothingness taken shape...even on those rare occasions I form a physical body to appear to others the void clings, both visible and not in the trails of oblivion…

Perhaps I wasn't in the void, but nor was I completely separated from it…not really. The longer I went the more I realized how much was there. Waiting beneath the surface for me to call upon the black, so I did. I curled the unwise assassin in tendrils of black so thick they would eat into her eyes, she would never see again. All in the short moment the blood was still splattering from the wound the explosive bullet had caused in my shoulder. I wiped from the woman her ability to ever be outside of darkness again. Light would never again touch her eyes simply because I was upset she had injured me…

I paused short of killing the killing blow. I didn't want to crush her totally, not yet. What good was destroying a blade without cutting off the hand that would wield it. Instead I pulled apart her mind with no thought to the consequence or madness such an action would leave. She was working for another witch, one deludedly loyal to Delilah. At a thought and clear across the city the witch cried out as tendrils of the void curled around, her protests choked off moments after they started. The girl wished to possess dark power? I'd let her have just enough access to tear her apart from the inside.

" outs.. ?" The voice sounded distant, but the fear in the tone caught my attention. I knew this voice.

Empress.

The third Empress…the one still alive…

It drew me back from the black, reminded me that I couldn't lose my temper completely. The would-be assassin and the one that hired her were dead, I let the shadows that had gathered burst apart, fading from this reality as though they had been nothing more than a thin curtain that tattered and faded from view at my will. I had nothing I could say to the terrified expression on the Empress' face. Had she thought she knew me? In any intimate way? This was a reminder of just why playing with such an idea as a relationship was a pointless one.

I am the void. I am the very arctic oblivion that had just caused her to stutter my title…I lacked even a name. Was that not the point? My title gave away how much I would never be a part of her world, no matter if I had a physical body temporarily or not.

"Are you all right?" She had snapped back to herself after the moment passed, she recovered well enough and swiftly but it was clear that seeing a portion of my true self had harrowed her. Just as well, no matter what slight twinges of emotion I had now, once I was returned to the void I wouldn't feel for her…I would feel exceptionally little. Which would be just as well for me…I was allowing this form to augment my usual actions.

"Not in particular, it hurts." I complained at my shoulder. Now that the anger was subsiding I was left only with the pain, and none too pleased by it. Though, even as I watched the wound was already beginning to close…pieces of the metal being pushed out of my body leaving bright trails of blood. Knowing what this body could do, what it was capable of, was interesting, but in this case far from enjoyable. I caught the pieces of the metal that fell…such a weapon would need to be destroyed after drawing my blood.

The world outside the void was so much more stark and I missed the grey of home…not everyone wanted some horizon painted in watercolors. For some, the bright array of the spectrum was merely painful. The assassin above us let out a slightly strangled cry, stumbling back and clawing at her face…the shadows may have tattered away from reality for myself and Emily…but they would never recede for the woman that had shot a god. It was both more and less merciful a fate for such a creature all depending on who you asked.

"What did you do to her?" Emily asked, glancing up toward where the woman was still screaming incoherently about her eyes. She didn't sound particularly offended by my action, more curious, perhaps anxiously so.

"I blinded her." I offered the most simplistic answer I had. Closing my eyes and taking Emily's shoulder before I pulled us both through reality.

Sitting a moment later on the mattress that had come to be mine in the Dunwall Castle's 'secret' vault, vaguely aware Emily had sat next to me. Traveling so far in an instant after all the other power I'd used left me seeing black dots that weren't there, I'd called on too much power too quickly. Summoning the oblivion of the void had been taxing, I felt dizzy and disoriented after the event. Probably not helped by the blood still fresh and flowing from the tiny broken pieces of shrapnel still being pushed from my shoulder.

Emily was silent as well, I suppose pulling her with me would disorient her as well given her own ability never had taken her a fraction of this length in space. Just as well, I had a grudging appreciation for the quiet of this closet for the first time. Perhaps that was why mortals enjoyed quiet from time to time, so many of them were constantly in some sort of pain, and I must admit after being shot, or perhaps because of my morning with Sokolov, I enjoyed that few moments of quiet where she simply sat next to me as disoriented with the world as I was. Of course, she recovered a bit more quickly than I had.

"Outsider." Her voice was concerned enough that I reopened my eyes to see her staring at my still bloody shoulder…the bleeding was slowed now but hadn't stopped completely. Was that why I was still dizzy then? "Take off your jacket and shirt."

"It will heal." I remarked, but to little avail as she was already undoing the buttons along the front of my jacket. I didn't move to stop her, but I didn't move to aid her either. She discarded the jacket after pulling it from my arms and began to undo the front of the dress shirt beneath it. She wasn't staring at me in wonder the way she normally might…instead she was intent merely on making certain I was safe. An amusing thought, since I was the one that had promised to keep her safe.

I believe I liked the concept more than her moments of mystic mesmerism, being treated even for a fraction of time, like I was nothing more than a mortal even though she knew more than any human how much I wasn't…I hate to admit how endearing the concept was. I helped her take my injured arm from its sleeve, too exhausted to try and argue with her. Several more metal fragments fell to the ground from where they'd pierced me…I made a mental note to go and check the scene for any others later. The remnants of that bullet would need to be destroyed…who knew what sort of ritual could be made from a weapon that had harmed the Outsider? Nothing good.

"You should either cauterize them or let me sew up the holes." Emily stated. She'd gathered a few supplies while I'd gotten lost in thought. She was washing off my arm and shoulder, looking at the wounds. They still hadn't closed completely but I expected they would before long. "You've already lost a lot of blood."

"No needle would let you sew it…" I pointed out. "Nor am I in a hurry to have more fire pressed into my flesh…they are already knitting cloOw!"

My comments turned to protest as she pressed a cloth against my injured shoulder. God or not, having someone push against open fresh wounds didn't engender feelings of gratitude. I have to admit her not withdrawing from my glare was a nod to her bravery. She frowned back at me instead.

"Don't whine, you aren't a child, are you? If it's already healing, then we just need to limit the blood flow." She said instead, still pressing on my shoulder from both sides with her rags…ignoring the red that was discoloring the white fabric and staining her hands. I lacked either desire or energy to argue with her further, painful or not she had trained in first aid so I let her apply the pressure as she could. I didn't even realize I'd let my eyes slide closed again until she asked a question. "Is…is this the first time you've been hurt since you became the Outsider?"

I reached up to pull the lenses out of my eyes while she was focused on my shoulder. The glass lenses weren't making me feel any better and I vaguely recalled Sokolov going on about not sleeping with them. "I have felt whispers of pain, echoes from the void or memory…but in your meaning yes, I have felt nothing like this."

"How was that even possible? For them to hurt you?" She asked, her voice having relaxed from the original fear now that I didn't seem ready to expire in her closet.

"I expect it was the nature of the weapon. Humans have come far since the days I became the Outsider. It would have killed you, I'll be fine after some time." I answered, the pain was slowly lessening and the bleeds slowing but the wounds would close, I had confidence in that.

"But, enough damage could still kill you." Emily remarked, frowning as she switched to a fresh set of towels. "The bleeding is slowing finally."

"Theoretically, more reason to leave soon. Did you not say we could be on the boat tomorrow?" I asked, letting her play nurse as she liked. Content to reclose my eyes after I set the lenses to the side. Perhaps I was the void, but I was also dizzy, and closing my eyes helped me keep my consciousness as she spoke to me.

"Yes, will you be able to go?" Emily asked.

"I'll be fine by tomorrow. I simply need time to rest." I did open one eye to look at her when I felt her moving my arm. She was wrapping it in a bandage. Apparently, content enough with how much the blood had slowed. She glanced to me, blinking once in surprise that I'd taken the lenses out, she apparently hadn't been paying attention.

"Outsider…thank you." She said more softly than the rest of the conversation, busying herself with the bandage after the glance to my single open eye. "You got hurt because of me, I'll do what I can to make sure it doesn't happen again."

"I would appreciate that." I admitted, smiling a bit at her shyness. Even after having seen a portion of me she still returned to this? Wasn't she persistent?

"All right. In the morning, I'll let them know that we'll still be leaving in when the ship is prepared to set sail." Emily didn't argue my insistence that I would be all right, though I believe she wanted to. At least she recognized the importance of this task. "You should lay down then. I know it is early but you said you needed rest."

I let her fuss, laying down as she asked and amused when she put a blanket over me…the same way the mother had done to the child I watched through his window only a few days before. I should mind or tell her not to consider me as a human, but I still enjoyed it. A part of me wanted the attention, the positive feelings, that so few would offer the Outsider…at least so few that weren't searching for greater power in return. I suppose I couldn't know if Emily wasn't after the same, but I doubted it. To be treated as a normal creature was alien…but I enjoyed it all the same.

Emily –

Emptiness.

The attack was shocking, I was concerned for the Outsider…I'd certainly never seen him bleed before, but then the world disappeared. It seemed to be swallowed up by his anger and pain, and in the darkness, there was so vast a space that it chilled me. The cold that swept across my spirit was far more biting than the temperature which dropped around us. I could still feel him there…the only warmth in this space was his shoulder…the blood that ran along my hand. A streak of lava in black ice…were I able to see I expected my breath would have been clouding in front of me.

Yet, the fear that crept into my skin, that made the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end was not the wintery blindness but the immense hollow. I was balanced on a tiny precipice, hanging barely by a thread on the edge of an endless chasm of isolation. It was the complete sense of loneliness that struck me hardest…as though I were about to lose everything, all sense of self, of memory, left with nothing but a translucent shell…

" outs.. ?" I had never been more terrified in my life.

I was uncertain he could hear me, but I doubted I could pull together the strength to speak again…it had been difficult to stutter his name the first time. Despair was wrapping itself around me like a cloak…it was about to smother me when it was gone. The darkness burst apart to the rain, the warm humidity in the air, the coppery scent of blood, the sticky red on my fingers…I breathed deeply as I tried to both decipher and forget what had just happened to me. My mind reeled but I forced myself back to the present…a god had just been shot in front of me.

"Are you all right?" It felt an absurd question after what had just happened, the immensity of what I'd just seen. Yet, that sort of familiar simple statement also grounded me, I was here, I was in this reality.

"Not in particular, it hurts." He complained, frowning at his shoulder and picking up bits of the bullet that had exploded when it impacted him. I'd seen such bullets before but they were specialized equipment, and that weapon had been meant for me. Was that glimpse of the death I could have had then? No…the Outsider had taken the bullet…

A scream drew my eyes up toward a rooftop where a female voice was yelling something about her sight. She sounded frantic and lost, an echo of the absolute melancholy of that emptiness. I shuttered to think about what was happening to her now.

"What did you do to her?" I asked. The woman had tried to kill me after all. I felt little sympathy for her situation, but I also was nervous about just what the Outsider was capable of. How much of his power did he truly never use?

"I blinded her." He stated coldly. I knew there was more to it. She was still screaming nonsense about her eyes and the dark. I could make out just enough to be less than willing to want to experience what she was. Whatever the woman had been, she wouldn't assassinate anyone ever again…that much was obvious. I was about to ask if we should speak to her when the Outsider took my shoulder and we weren't outside. I didn't even know where we were at first, or realize that I had sat next to him on his bed in the vault.

He'd simply taken us from one place to another in an instant? I blinked several times, it didn't take much to suspend my disbelief of the notion but I also needed a moment to regain my personal equilibrium. My mind needed some balance as much as my body after that unexpected assault…but when I looked at the Outsider I realized I had time for neither. The crimson spots were growing more visible on his jacket than they had been.

"Outsider." I was worried about him. Would he still die from this? How often were injured people taken by infection? I needed to do something for him, I couldn't exactly go get a doctor. "Take off your jacket and shirt."

"It will heal." He remarked as I gathered quickly some medical supplies. We kept first aid kits on hand and a bowl and water only took me a moment. I set them nearby and went to taking off his clothes myself when he just sat there. He could be going into shock for all I knew. After all, I hadn't really thought him capable of being injured until now either. When I got the jacket free more pieces of the shrapnel fell to the floor. Was it a good sign that his body was removing them on its own? There were many holes in his skin where the offending metal shards had been pushed free, many of them bleeding. I cleaned around the area to get a better view as gently as I could and he was still quiet…was he falling asleep? That couldn't be good. I needed to keep him talking, conscious.

"You should either cauterize them or let me sew up the holes." I said aloud in hopes he could still hear me. I was trying to wash what I could but he was still bleeding too much for it to be a help. If he was really going to heal he should get to work on doing it a little faster. "You've already lost a lot of blood."

"No needle would let you sew it…" He pointed out. Which was true enough, I hadn't thought of that. "Nor am I in a hurry to have more fire pressed into my flesh…they are already knitting cloOw!"

I had pressed both of my hands against opposite sides of the wounds on his shoulder, hoping that the pressure would slow the bleeding. He was clearly not too happy with my sudden decision but I didn't back up even though he was giving me the dirtiest look I'd ever seen him give anyone. I frowned back at him.

"Don't whine, you aren't a child, are you? If it's already healing, then we just need to limit the blood flow." I insisted. He stared a moment longer but he didn't argue with me so I stayed there pressing against the wounds from either side. As I thought about what had happened, I wondered if that intense sense of loss was what he felt all the time in the void. Was it why he had ended up so different? How had he not gone insane though if that was the case? I let out a small huff at the confusion of what he'd done on the balcony before I realized he was starting to fall asleep again.

"Is…is this the first time you've been hurt since you became the Outsider?" I asked. I remembered his description of it well enough, the way he'd stopped struggling because of the ropes digging into his skin.

He moved a little but wasn't pulling away at least so I focused on keeping the pressure up despite the burning that was starting to form in my arms.

"I have felt whispers of pain, echoes from the void or fractured memories…but in your meaning yes, I have felt nothing like this." His reply may have been heartbreaking in another circumstance, I could certainly feel empathy for him. No wonder he was reacting so poorly to having been injured.

"How was that even possible? For them to hurt you?" I asked, glad when he stopped moving so I could focus easier on keeping the pressure in place.

"I expect it was the nature of the weapon. Humans have come far since the days I became the Outsider. It would have killed you, I'll be fine after some time." He answered. It was impressive that he just stayed there, even if he was basically letting me do whatever I wanted. I was starting to feel more that he just didn't have the energy to argue with me…

"But, enough damage could still kill you." I pointed out, frowning as I had to take a break and switch to a new set of towels, the last was already quite soaked. I realized though that it wasn't as bad. "The bleeding is slowing finally."

"Theoretically, more reason to leave soon. Did you not say we could be on the boat tomorrow?" He spoke so easily of his possible death. Did he not care that much? Or was there more to this that I didn't know? Was he simply too tired?

"Yes, will you be able to go?" I asked. I was concerned in the circumstances, I'd never seen him this out of it.

"I'll be fine by tomorrow. I simply need time to rest." He insisted, opening an eye to look at me as I started wrapping his arm in a bandage. I realized he had taken out the lenses Sokolov had made him and the glance at his Stygian eyes chilled me slightly, I could remember the nothingness he'd summoned so clearly when I saw them. I glanced back to my work, nervous he would sense my discomfort.

"Outsider…thank you." I said quietly. I'd nearly lost someone else simply by being who I was, if he had been a mortal we both probably would have died from the damage of that sort of bullet. I hated the idea that he was suffering because of me, that I couldn't do more for him. Despite the attack, and the vision, I felt embarrassed suddenly... "You got hurt because of me, I'll do what I can to make sure it doesn't happen again."

"I would appreciate that." He offered a smile as he said it and I still didn't look directly at him. I wasn't sure I could trust myself to. Instead I double checked the bandage wasn't too tight while being stable enough to last the night.

"All right. In the morning, I'll let them know that we'll still be leaving in when the ship is prepared to set sail." I could hardly tell him no. He'd been keeping up his end of this bargain. He got shot for me, it felt inconsiderate to try and delay at all after that. "You should lay down then. I know it is early but you said you needed rest."

He didn't argue with me and thankfully had closed his eyes again. He smirked a bit when I put a blanket over him but thankfully didn't peek to see the blush on my face. I hesitated near the bed, he would probably rest just as well without me here. He was already losing consciousness judging by the way his breathing had evened out and his body had stilled other than his chest. It made sense, he'd been fighting loss of consciousness for a while. I sighed and sat on the edge of the bed, after the forlornness of those shadows…when they so matched his eyes.

I didn't want to leave him alone.

End Chapter

Man, I've done so much work on this one lately. I should be focusing more on college but I've been sort of bleh and unfocused and since I am thinking about this fic and my muse is not being a bitch I thought I might as well put the time in. Next time they'll be on the boat heading to Driscol!

-Aura

To my reviewers:

Tigerfur – Heh, I do enjoy writing for them both. I should be doing more college but my class is very boring so I'll look at my boring work, then glance at my open word document and think: I'll just write a little more of my dishonored fic…then finish a chapter. Hopefully I'll get some work done today though so the next update might not be as fast XD