Chapter Fourteen:Expectations

"Expectations are dangerous things, indulging in them is akin to growing weeds. They grow until it's difficult to see the rest of the grass around them, until they smother out reality, which may have once been more beautiful than the unrealistic hopes."

The Outsider –

"I cannot say for certain if I am capable of having a child but I would doubt it." I answered her. "If it were a possibility I still would have to say I wouldn't want children, not being what I am."

"Oh…" As I expected, she was disappointed.

"However, you are overlooking an obvious solution. Assuming you never change your mind and want some sort of paramour or don't want a child of your own." I continued, disliking her saddened expression no matter how illogical it was. "There are thousands of children without parents."

"That is true." She answered, trying not to come off as disheartened as she was by this information. I got up and walked to her side of the table, leaning down in front of her and taking her hands. My own expression I tried to keep neutral but I knew I was mirroring some of her gloom.

"I am not human, Emily. You know what lies beneath this mortal disguise, you know that my presence is temporary. As it is, I need to leave and begin tracking the witch. I cannot offer you a marriage or a child, but you mean more to me than any mortal ever has and likely ever will again. For all the mundane parts of life I cannot give you, I will do what I can to fulfill your life if you wish for me to be a part of it."

She stared at me, eyes slightly wide after my confession. Did it surprise her that I cared for her? Had I not shown it already?

"But you know things, so many things." Her words were more complaint than compliment. "Don't you already know how this, our strange relationship, works out?"

"I am not omniscient, the glimpses I see of people's lives are just that. Whispers and flashes in my mind not unlike the way the heart functioned though often with much more detail than it could provide to you and without having to actively think about it most times." I explained, it was a bit of an understatement, but still true. "I only rarely have these glimpses when it involves myself and thus they aren't common for those who have my mark. I know no more than you as to how this will work out. Please don't doubt that I enjoy your company or that I want to explore you far more than time has allotted."

Her cheerlessness was steadily transforming into embarrassment over my continued confession, by the time I'd finished my comments she was blushing again. It was pleasing that I could get so strong a woman to demur at nothing more than words. I kissed her hands and smiled when she cupped my face. If I could appreciate anything out of her concerns it was that fear of me was not one of them. She was always worried, but she opened herself to me so readily…I doubt I could express to her how much those small gestures meant.

"I'm sorry." She sighed, a sign she was over her apprehension. "I am being silly. It doesn't matter, I am glad you are here, and we will work it out. Go ahead, I know you need to go and look for the witch and we have limited time. I would come if you let me."

"It would cause undue duress if you and I were discovered missing." I answered, lingering at her touch despite her dismissal, and the truth of my limited time. "You know I would be glad to have you otherwise."

"I do." She agreed, leaning down to give me a brief kiss before waving at the door. Her empress persona back in place at the gesture of royal release. I leaned up and into her nonetheless, kissing her again more deeply before fading into shadow. It was perhaps childish, perhaps more human than I should act…but I always to leave her wanting me …

Emily –

The Outsider was explaining in fair detail not just about the death of Lady Van Daken, but the family's feelings on it and the general political situation between the cities workers and the council over the city. As most cities in my empire the people had little reason to trust those in charge, but here I had to admit the Duke's ability to still separate himself mostly from his wife's murder was better than many in power would have done. If I had possessed the ability when my mother died to burn all her murderers alive would I have? I couldn't say I knew for sure I could have stopped myself so I didn't blame Kiya for her feelings on it.

"So, it'll be even more difficult to deal in a way to make the average citizens life a bit easier." I observed when he finished his remarks between bites of dinner, picking up my wine to wash down the slightly un0spiced meal, there was reason the food here wasn't exactly revered. "At least the Duke and his son seem reasonable."
"The Duke is going to ask you to consider his son for engagement." I choked on the wine at the unexpected and unrelated statement to what was just being discussed. The Outsider however was still eating, watching me calmly as though he had not dumped such a surprising detail in my lap.

"What? Why?" I could hear that my voice was shocked but I didn't particularly care. Why did he seem so nonchalant about that sort of a proposal?

"He is concerned about his son's position after his wife's death." He explained more at my shock, cutting another piece of meat off and putting it in his mouth. He was utterly nonplussed by this conversation, it was bizarre. Did he not care if I ended up getting married? I hadn't thought about marriage for some time, I sort of presumed it would happen eventually but now that I liked the Outsider…that wasn't really an option anymore.

"Yes…I guess that makes sense…but doesn't that bother you?" I stopped eating, losing my appetite at the new conversation topic. Shouldn't it bother him? Wouldn't it bother anyone else? Then…he wasn't like anyone else…

"No. It is a logical course in the eyes of the father. There is little better position in the realm than as a paramour of the Empress herself." His reply was logical, cold, the sort of thing you should expect from a creature like him. A non-human answer. I frowned a little…I sort of wanted him to feel something about the concept.

"Doesn't that bother you?" I asked even knowing that it wouldn't.

"Why should it bother me?" He asked calmly.

"Oh, I don't know…cause being engaged implies a certain emotional attachment." I still didn't like it though I knew that would be his answer. No part of him was bothered by the idea of me being with someone else? I suppose we hadn't really been intimate yet, not in a physical way…but I thought there would be more of a connection…

"There are countless social ties made by marriage that are not emotional in nature." He said with a shrug as though perfectly secure there would be no emotional attachment on my side. "I didn't assume that you would care about the youth, or even that you would accept the proposal. I simply thought it wise to let you know that it was probably going to be made."

Yes, that explanation fit him. He was quite confident. I suppose he had no reason not to be, he was basically a god after all. I picked back up my silverware. Thoughts on my future now more than I normally considered it. I was used to thinking ahead for planning meetings involving my people or my city but myself? I'd never made much of a habit of it after I took on the crown.

"I…don't want to get married. My life has never been like other girls, and there is no reason to start now." I stated, I was self-assured in that no matter that I sounded so dismal.

"However," He always knew when there was more to it.

"I don't know how long it'll work. Before my councilors or other nobles try to work against me if I don't provide some sort of heir. Or at the very least claim some other noble family as next in line." I was quiet, not wanting any of this conversation to be overheard. But also, because it wasn't the most comfortable of topics. "Mother never married, but she at least had me so people couldn't use a lack of an heir against her. What I want, and what I need to do for the Empire are different things. I'll at least need to have a child eventually."

I pushed my food around my plate, I felt foolish even that this bothered me. It hadn't before a few minutes ago. It wasn't like a relationship with the Outsider could end up in kids, at least I doubted it. I never even wanted children…if it wasn't my job to have some sort of replacement when I died I wasn't sure I'd have ever considered it an option.

He nodded at me, he was still so composed about the whole thing. "These aren't incorrect thoughts or poor things to consider when you consider that you want to be the Empress of Dunwall."

"Yes but…" I frowned, as much at myself as at him. I knew I was being silly but I couldn't help it. "I realize this might be quickly to discuss this but…my having a child. That doesn't bother you? Can you have children? Would you even want to?"

I again knew the answer before he said it aloud, but to a point I needed to hear it aloud. To know that these options weren't options at all. I wouldn't regret not having children, not really, but the idea that he may not be bothered by me having children with someone else bothered me.

"I cannot say for certain if I am capable of having a child given we haven't tried, but I would doubt it." He said, almost thoughtful at the prospect. "If it were a possibility I still would have to say I wouldn't want children, not being what I am."

"Oh…" As I expected.

"However, you are overlooking an obvious solution. Assuming you never change your mind and want some sort of paramour or don't want a child of your own." He was reasoning with me, I appreciated and didn't appreciate it. "There are thousands of children without parents."

"That is true." I agreed, trying to not sound down since it was a reasonable alternative. One I should have come up with myself. If I didn't want to have a child of my own there were countless orphans in the isles that could work as substitutes. As I was considering it he walked around the table and took my hands, his face wasn't as neutral. My poor mood was wearing off, why was I being so unreasonable?

"I am not human, Emily." He used my name when he really wanted to accent a point. "You know what lies beneath this mortal disguise, you know that my presence is temporary. As it is, I need to leave and begin tracking the witch. I cannot offer you a marriage or a child, but you mean more to me than any mortal ever has and likely ever will again. For all the mundane parts of life I cannot give you, I will do what I can to fulfill your life if you wish for me to be a part of it."

I stared in surprise at his confession. He always took things so much further than I expected him to. He was something more than human…but did that matter if he cared about me? And I did him?

"But you know things, so many things." I stated, a bit frustrated by the fact. "Don't you already know how this, our strange relationship, works out?"

"I am not omniscient, the glimpses I see of people's lives are just that. Whispers and flashes in my mind not unlike the way the heart functioned though often with much more detail than it could provide to you and without having to actively think about it most times. I only rarely have these glimpses when it involves myself and thus they aren't common for those who have my mark. I know no more than you as to how this will work out. Please don't doubt that I enjoy your company or that I want to explore you far more than time has allotted."

The explanation was nice, having some small clue has to what he could do or how it worked no matter how basic. Then he went on to speak so intimately despite how little we'd time spent together…I felt my face growing more flush at his words. Was he always going to do this to me? Didn't I always want him too?

"I'm sorry." I sighed. "I am being silly. It doesn't matter, I am glad you are here, and we will work it out. Go ahead, I know you need to go and look for the witch and we have limited time. I would come if you let me."

"It would cause undue duress if you and I were discovered missing." He said, lingering near where I'd touched his cheek with my hand despite his insistence that he needed to go. "You know I would be glad to have you otherwise."

"I do." I agreed leaning down to give me a brief kiss, I was afraid with more I'd not let him go accomplish his mission. Then he pressed, following me up from the floor to sweep me into a much deeper embrace, waiting seemingly until just when I gave in to wrap my arms around him to fade into shadows.

"You are an unjust paramour…" I pouted as I realized he'd left me there. I could have sworn I heard a small echo of whispered laughter at the remark. I scowled playfully after his exit. Next time I wasn't too keen on letting him leave but I couldn't overly protest it now. Still, after that I wasn't exactly ready for bed. I should have had Sarah drop off an extra bottle of wine. I sighed and finished dinner before heading to the door. I would just go to the kitchens and get a bottle myself. There was no reason to wake anyone.

The house was dark, enough that sneaking along the halls was easy enough as I headed for the kitchen and cellar. I'd never had a fear of the dark. No one even had seen me on the way, not that there were many guards or servants in the halls but the security was laxer than Corvo would have allowed. I stopped near the wine cellar to look over the collection, there were many labels but I had to get close to read them in the poor lighting. I eventually narrowed it down to two then took them both. I'd probably want another tomorrow after all.

I was on my back to my room when I saw the shadow move out of the corner of my eye, another person sneaking about the estate. What was going on there? I frowned and padded after them, wondering what was happening, was the place under attack? Was it just some paramour looking for a maid? Either way I wasn't going to just ignore it since the figure was heading toward the area where the duke and his family slept.

End Chapter

A bit short compared to some chapters but a good time to take a break I think. Emily is so impulsive! She's fun to write for. I have family coming in to visit for a few days this week so not sure how much I'll have time to work on this but at least I did while I was iced inside.

-Aura

To my reviewers:

The Whispering Sage – LOL yeah, I was thinking about Emily scaring him off too but it felt like it worked and my muse sometimes does what she wants. I've played the first game twice (the DLC once) and I'm close to the end of my second play through of d2 but I plan to play it more since I want to play both characters through on both low and high chaos. I am glad to hear I've kept people in character as that's always a goal for me to make fanfiction authentic in a different story.

IntotheDeep27 – Heh well I have a lot in mind still. I sort of hope I can at least make it 27 chapter or so – some level of 9 since the games have 9 chapters XD And in honor of how much I hit f9 while playing them…

Tigerfur – Heh, that could be part of it. I personally want to someday write a parody for 'sail' but 'whale' using a bunch of dishonored shots (obviously particularly the outsider). But I'm weird.

DickChan – I actually felt the Outsider was still pretty neutral though most of the second game til toward the later parts. And his emotion was justified I feeled 'she's a part of me now and I don't like it'. I mean, Delilah did sort of screw him, his emotional attitude is justified.

Guest – lol he is a bit slimy but he's not completely horrible as a person. Too bad the Outsider sort of broke him…