Chapter Sixteen: Dislike

"Just as fondness can so swiftly blossom to something more, can it be cut down by misunderstandings and divides. Affection can grow warm or cold as easily as a fall day, though generally once it grows cold, like the winter – it rarely warms again quickly."

The Outsider –

Why were humans always doing this? Must she overreact to everything in this manner?

I sighed.

"No I did not. I am not responsible for Daud's actions any more than I am for yours." I stated, this time I caught her hand before she could slap me again but the pain on her face softened my own irritation for her swiftness to be so aggressive.

"You knew! You knew who killed her and that he was…one of yours…and you didn't tell me." Emily wrenched her hand away, moving away from the bed where I was still sitting, leaning on my arms as though all of this made the world too heavy to fight getting up for. I hated how swiftly I was to blame, or why it was even an issue. What would it change?

Possibly everything…

The thought wasn't comforting. I stared and she stared back. I could feel a rift growing between us, one that wouldn't be filled if I didn't do something, or say something. But I wasn't exactly sure what to say to her.

"Yes, Daud has my mark but I control him no more than I do you or your father. I can make suggestions but in the end people will act as they will." I stated. "I rarely ask for anything else. It is only in recent days that I've done more than observe or whisper."

"And you whispered to him to kill my mother?" She was shaking slightly, her arms wrapped around herself. Some part of that little girl at the tower had never fully left that night…the same way Aramus Stilton had never left when Delilah was reborn – a much smaller part in Emily's case but it was still there all the same.

"I did not. I rarely spoke with Daud in those days, and nor did he seek me out until after he'd already finished it." I answered.

"Then you let him go…just now…why?" She was still somewhere between wanting to trust me and wanting to hate me…it was so much easier for humans to hate…

"Why would I not? I stopped him from harming you, and I told him never to return. I doubt he'll ever try to be anywhere near you again." What more could I do than tell her the truth?

"He killed my mother." She hissed.

"Vengeance is not a pretty color on you Emily. Daud also safeguarded your life." I answered her. It was hard but I pushed against gravity to stand up, though I only got a step closer before she'd backed several more away.

"Stop, don't touch me." She held up a hand, holding her ground after those couple of steps. It hurt more than I would care to admit how swiftly she had turned to being disgusted by my touch. "What do you mean he safeguarded my life? He ruined it."

"After his assassination of Jessamine at the behest of Delilah's group Delilah started to target you, when you were still a child. She planned to use her magic to rip out your soul and replace it with her own, ruling from your skin." I explained the history in more detail. I suppose it was something I would have told her eventually but now seemed more relevant. "Daud regretted what happened with your mother, and when he spoke with me I told him of the plan…what Delilah had in store for you. He saved you, he didn't have to but he did all the same."

"But, you could have told someone what Daud was going to do." She said after my description. "You say you're neutral but you stepped in with Corvo after mother died, you stepped in for me with this assassin, you stepped in for me again with Delilah. Why? Why would you do that? You could have just saved my mother."

"I don't work that way." It wasn't what she wanted to hear. I knew it, but it didn't change the facts. "I shouldn't be helping you here, in the real world, but I must. Daud being here changes little, this all was no less true before you saw him than now."

"My knowledge of it is certainly new!" She snapped. "You could have saved my mother and that means nothing to you? It doesn't compute why I would be livid at this new information? You stepped in to save me how many times but you couldn't step out for her once?"

"I do the best I can with the information I have without ruling over people Emily." I answered tiredly.

"But Delilah…you made her too…everything horrible with my family was because you gave the wrong people power." Emily accused, and I supposed that much I couldn't argue with.

"I am not infallible, I've made mistakes. Sometimes yes, I get involved…but often to avoid the worst possible options or to fix my own mistakes. Delilah became a poor option years ago, no matter what she may have been once…I regret giving her my mark." I meant it, while Delilah may have once been incredible…I'd seen what she was now…now little she'd ended up being at the end.

"But you…" Emily paused and took a breath, rubbing her temples and clearly trying to stay calm despite how agitated she was. "You did it all. It's because of you. You knew all that and you still..."

Her voice cracked, imitating what seemed to be happening to us right now. It was thick with emotion when she spoke again. "You still pursued me like this, for whatever our weird relationship is…you knew all this and you didn't tell me. What more horrible things are you just forgetting to mention?"

"Emily." I sighed and sat back down, clearly, she didn't want me to embrace her and it was starting to become difficult to retain consciousness again. "You need to decide what you want. I am not and nor have I ever claimed to be perfect, without regret, or without secrets. You knew who I am, what I am, when you also chased me…did you think I wouldn't notice? The long stares, the pink cheeks…Artemus Wigmund? What I recognize and what I don't point out is a long list your highness."

"Those aren't the same things as knowing my mother's killer, as giving him the same power you give to me…and you should damn well know it!" She yelled back at me toward the end of her statement, apparently starting to lose any care if we were walked in on despite the kidnapped woman still knocked out on the floor. Though she grew quieter as she seemed to think about it, I could still hear her next questions, the bitterness infused in her voice. "Was it just like Wyman? It wasn't relevant?"

"Yes, if you must know. I planned to explain it all eventually but finishing our task was more paramount than discussing a past that cannot be changed." I told her, knowing she'd just dislike the answer but I wasn't going to lie. That wasn't who I was, even for her.

"Why not? You changed it with Stilton, couldn't you change it with mother?" She pressed.

"No, there are some things that can't be changed." I answered.

"But couldn't we try? After everything…when we get you back." She finally had closed the distance between us to grab my arms, having latched onto this idea that she might be able to revive her mother.

"For one, Stilton had not died yet, his path wasn't at an end before it was altered. For another, these are major events in this world now. Your mother played a central role to what the world now is." I replied, explaining as best I could. "Attempting to alter her past, somehow summon back her spirit, it could unravel the fabric of everything. It was your mother's death that set into motion every event that stopped Delilah from taking power. If her assassination disappears then every other plot would change, the outcomes would all change, the world would change."

"But it's possible?" I hated to kill all that hope.

"No Emily, it's not. I care about you, deeply…but I will not sacrifice so many for the sake of your mother's possible survival." I replied with a negative shake of my head. "I will protect you as best I can while I am here and until I am returned to the void…but then I…"

I didn't want to say it out loud. It felt like saying it out loud would somehow put it into stone, would make it as unchangeable as Jessamine's fate. Yet, Jessamine's death had allowed for Emily's survival, for her life to continue…the sacrifice of Jessamine's soul from the heart…it had let them defeat Delilah. The death had also been the factor that convinced Daud to save Emily as a child…if she wanted to hate me for it fine…but I wouldn't touch her mother's past.

"You'll leave." She closed that hanging statement for me. Her voice was surprised, which by itself was surprising after her animated protests. "You…why did you even do all this if you always planned to leave?"

"I didn't plan to leave, with your sentiments just now I expected it would be best." I was tired, tired of all of this…the emptiness of the void seemed somewhat welcoming at this point. "I don't know what you want from me Emily."

"I want you to tell me when things affect me, or if you think they're going to affect me. I want you to not act like my mother's death is just nothing, or that it is unreasonable for me to want her back. I want you to tell me you didn't plan it all, that you didn't kill my mother to stop Delilah and save me." She hissed a swift series of answers, still angry and excited. "I want…for you not to just give up every time I get angry with you."

I smirked a bit, I couldn't quite help it. I was letting myself get as carried away as she did, was this me being tired or a result of this unwanted human form? Perhaps both. Either way I didn't like it…I nodded to her and patted the bed. I lacked the energy to get up again. At least this time she tentatively sat. I took her hands, glad she let me.

"Emily. I will try to tell you when I believe something will bother you emotionally but clearly I can't always tell. I do not think your mother's death was nothing, she saved the world if you consider the details that is far from nothing. I did not plan for your mother to die for any purpose, I don't plan peoples deaths." I stated honestly, as passionately as I could still fighting to stay awake. "I will never give up on you…but neither will I ever force you to stay."

"Well sometimes you should…force me to stay." Emily answered but I only heard part of it. I could hear her yelling at me a moment later, and calling me horrible amidst some other colorful language…but unconsciousness was no longer willing to stay at bay.

Emily –

It was his mark, it was the same symbol that had burned into my hand. I shared the same mark with the man that had murdered my mother. It made me feel sick, more so that he knew about it! He had put that mark on my hand when one of his other little favorites had been the one to shove the sword through my mother's gut…I couldn't help it. I slapped him! It felt good when my hand shocked his face. I accused him of being behind it, I didn't know what else to do…this was unacceptable…why wouldn't he have told me after all this time…

"No I did not. I am not responsible for Daud's actions any more than I am for yours." He stated, stopping me from slapping him again. How dare he act so careless about it, he sounded like he was bored…as if he'd rather lay down than explain.

"You knew!" I spit it out, I wanted to hit him again but I knew he'd stop me. Instead I wrenched my hand away and backed away from the bed where he sat. "You knew you killed her and that he was…one of yours…and you didn't tell me!"

He watched me quietly a moment, appearing sad, tired…he'd used a bunch of energy again, he'd just stated such…but I didn't care. I wanted him to talk about this now…I would stab him before I'd let him just fall asleep without answering me.

"Yes, Daud has my mark but I control him no more than I do you or your father. I can make suggestions but in the end people will act as they will." He repeated. "I rarely ask for anything else. It is only in recent days that I've done more than observe or whisper."

"And you whispered to him to kill my mother?" I shook slightly at the thought. I had been growing close to…the mastermind behind my mother's death? What then, was I just some woman taken in by his looks? No, he'd seemed like he cared…but this…why would he have kept this a secret?

"I did not. I rarely spoke with Daud in those days, and nor did he seek me out until after he'd already finished it." He replied simply. I felt a small part of myself relax a little. At the very least it made me feel less physically ill. I hadn't been building a relationship with my mother's killer.

"Then you let him go…just now…why?" I didn't know what to think. I doubted he was lying, but why was he still helping this assassin?

"Why would I not? I stopped him from harming you, and I told him never to return. I doubt he'll ever try to be anywhere near you again."

"He killed my mother." I hissed.

"Vengeance is not a pretty color on you Emily. Daud also safeguarded your life." His answer was insulting and confusing all at once. What did he mean the assassin safeguarded my life? I backed up when he got up and started to move closer. I didn't want him close, I needed time to think, to act. I didn't trust myself to do that if he was too close.

"Stop, don't touch me." I held up a hand once I'd gotten a safe distance between us. I needed to hear this story before I could start to figure out what to think of it all. All of this about my mother was always right there and he didn't tell me. "What do you mean he safeguarded my life? He ruined it."

"After his assassination of Jessamine at the behest of Delilah's group Delilah started to target you, when you were still a child. She planned to use her magic to rip out your soul and replace it with her own, ruling from your skin." He explained slowly. He looked more tired all the time, the circles around his eyes were deepening. He'd teleported clear across the city then? With the other woman…but no…I couldn't let this go yet. I refused to stop and be concerned about him when he couldn't have taken the time to tell me this sooner. "Daud regretted what happened with your mother, and when he spoke with me I told him of the plan…what Delilah had in store for you. He saved you, he didn't have to but he did all the same."

"But, you could have told someone what Daud was going to do." I pointed out. "You say you're neutral but you stepped in with Corvo after mother died, you stepped in for me with this assassin, you stepped in for me again with Delilah. Why? Why would you do that? You could have just saved my mother."

"I don't work that way." He said with a shake of his head. "I shouldn't be helping you here, in the real world, but I must. Daud being here changes little, this all was no less true before you saw him than now."

"My knowledge of it is certainly new!" I snapped. "You could have saved my mother and that means nothing to you? It doesn't compute why I would be livid at this new information? You stepped in to save me how many times but you couldn't step out for her once?"

"I do the best I can with the information I have without ruling over people Emily." He had told me this before, but it was always hard to accept. He could do so much good…

"But Delilah…you made her too…everything horrible with my family was because you gave the wrong people power." I accused, I felt he could have done more to help. Then I didn't press cause the mark on my hand, the one that had once been on Corvo's hand, already proved he had.

"I am not infallible, I've made mistakes. Sometimes yes, I get involved…but often to avoid the worst possible options or to fix my own mistakes. Delilah became a poor option years ago, no matter what she may have been once…I regret giving her my mark." He stated honestly, I knew he wasn't lying. For as much as I despised that he hadn't told me all this sooner it wasn't in his nature to lie.

"But you…" I paused and took a breath, rubbing my temples and trying to make sense of it. "You did it all. It's because of you. You knew all that and you still..."

My voice cracked, I hated it, this weakness. The fact that I was so angry and yet I still cared so much about what he was doing, what he'd done. I knew there was still emotion in my voice when I managed to speak again. "You still pursued me like this, for whatever our weird relationship is…you knew all this and you didn't tell me. What more horrible things are you just forgetting to mention?"

"Emily." He sighed and sat back down, it was obvious he was fighting to stay awake again. The real world was having more a toll on him than he was admitting. "You need to decide what you want. I am not and nor have I ever claimed to be perfect, without regret, or without secrets. You knew who I am, what I am, when you also chased me…did you think I wouldn't notice? The long stares, the pink cheeks…Artemus Wigmund? What I recognize and what I don't point out is a long list your highness."

I knew that would come back to bite me.

"Those aren't the same things as knowing my mother's killer, as giving him the same power you give to me…and you should damn well know it!" I was almost yelling at the end of my comments. Then I grew quieter, still so angry at just his attitude. "Was it just like Wyman? It wasn't relevant?"

"Yes, if you must know. I planned to explain it all eventually but finishing our task was more paramount than discussing a past that cannot be changed." He admitted openly.

"Why not? You changed it with Stilton, couldn't you change it with mother?" I felt a bit of hope at this situation for the first time. What if it could work the same way? Maybe it wouldn't with Wyman but mother had been somewhere where magic was used…the outsider's magic.

"No, there are some things that can't be changed." He answered.

"But couldn't we try? After everything…when we get you back." I gave up on staying back, walking up to grab his arms. Could he help save my mother after the fact? I stared at him, hoping he could tell me it was possible.

"For one, Stilton had not died yet, his path wasn't at an end before it was altered. For another, these are major events in this world now. Your mother played a central role to what the world now is." He said, as if trying to explain why trying wasn't a good idea. "Attempting to alter her past, somehow summon back her spirit, it could unravel the fabric of everything. It was your mother's death that set into motion every event that stopped Delilah from taking power. If her assassination disappears then every other plot would change, the outcomes would all change, the world would change."

"But it's possible?" I had to know.

"No Emily, it's not. I care about you, deeply…but I will not sacrifice so many for the sake of your mother's possible survival." He said seriously, shaking his head at the concept. So he could do it, or at least he could try it…but he refused. "I will protect you as best I can while I am here and until I am returned to the void…but then I…"

But then he what? I frowned at the leading of that. Was that all this would amount to? I would get him back to the void and I wouldn't see him anymore? As angry as I was at him, that wasn't what I wanted. "You'll leave. You…why did you even do all this if you always planned to leave?"

"I didn't plan to leave, with your sentiments just now I expected it would be best." He sounded exhausted, as though he were fighting just to keep speaking to me. "I don't know what you want from me Emily."

"I want you to tell me when things affect me, or if you think they're going to affect me. I want you to not act like my mother's death is just nothing, or that it is unreasonable for me to want her back. I want you to tell me you didn't plan it all, that you didn't kill my mother to stop Delilah and save me." I said as fast as I could, having so much I wished I could say but able to see he was fading away for the time being. I didn't know how long he would be out this time, why did he keep doing this? "I want…for you not to just give up every time I get angry with you."

He smiled, the jerk. If he hadn't taken my hands a moment later I may have slapped him again.

"Emily. I will try to tell you when I believe something will bother you emotionally but clearly I can't always tell. I do not think your mother's death was nothing, she saved the world if you consider the details that is far from nothing. I did not plan for your mother to die for any purpose. I don't plan peoples deaths." He said with an earnestness that was hard to ignore. Angry or not I couldn't just give up on him... "I will never give up on you…but neither will I ever force you to stay."

"Well sometimes you should…force me to stay." I replied, making sure my exact point was across. Then I frowned as I caught him, he was already losing consciousness after his comments. Did he always have to do this? "Outsider, you are such a horrible narcistic secretive sentimental…jerk."

Of course, he wasn't hearing any of it. I sighed and pushed him back in the bed. I let his legs still just stay hanging off. Perhaps I was willing to forgive him but I was still mad. Let him wake up with achy legs. I glanced to the woman on the floor who was starting to stir and sighed, I'd have to knock her out again and take her to the ship. For being the empress, I felt like I was doing all the footwork…

End Chapter

Drama, drama, drama…and what the hell outsider. You must stop just randomly passing out…that's not conducive to Emily's shot nerves! They both have such sad lives XD

-Aura

To my reviewers:

The Whispering Sage – Heh well, I can't imagine his skill set lends well to other jobs? Besides, he did say he wasn't killing high-ranking nobles anymore. That's a step? And well…she sort of…

DickChan – Well he was involved but I actually look at his involvement more like a tool than personally pushing the assassination. He gave someone the power and then they used it. It's no different than someone who invented guns. The guy that made them shouldn't be blamed for every gun used to kill someone. As for the DLC, it felt to me like it would end up being Billie but hard to say what they'll do. I'm excited for it either way.