Chapter 15: Confession

Emily exited the library, tired. She wanted to talk to the Outsider, but finding him was not simple. He always came to her, another thing she both liked and was annoyed by. In any case, the hour was late, and she wandered back to her quarters. Emily sat on her bed and let herself flop backwards with a sigh. Her eyes wandered over to look at the bookcase which hid the safe room. Was he in there?

As if he heard her thoughts, the Outsider appeared before her, the Void licking his frame before fading. Emily could not keep the smile from her face and sat up. He offered a smile back, one more fragile, more vulnerable.

"Come, sit," she offered, patting the bed beside her. He seemed to steel himself before going to sit. The mattress dipped slightly under his weight, and a heavy silence settled between them. The Outsider was fiddling with one of his rings, looking at his hands. Emily watched him, uncertain if she should break the silence.

"Emily," he started, slowly turning to look at her. "We need to talk about us."

"Yes, we do," she agreed, looking him in the eyes. She saw him swallow and take a breath; she got the impression he was close to breaking.

"I…" he looked back at his hands, clearly struggling to find words. "You are the most extraordinary human I have ever talked to."

Emily felt an awkward laugh bubble out of her mouth. "I doubt that is the case…"

The Outsider took her hands in his. She felt her mark throb on the back of left hand.

"When I was in pain from that rune, you helped me. You have fed me, clothed me, and sheltered me. Nobody I have ever whispered to, nobody I have ever Marked would have done the same."

Emily was taken aback by his determination. She knew he had a rather pessimistic view of humanity, but she did not believe that she would have been the only one who would have helped him out.

He chuckled, and his eyes softened. "After all that has happened to you, you still think kindly of humanity. You have a good heart- you could have let Karnaca crumble but instead you saved it. You offered mercy to Delilah, even though she did not deserve it. Emily, you have returned to your throne with the desire to do good and rule well, and have succeeded with both!"

Emily felt herself blush at the praised, and ducked her head. "You have helped me with both," she mumbled.

The Outsider tilted his head, their eyes meeting again. "I gave you my mark out of interest, but now I would gladly give all my magic to you because I know you will use it wisely. You do not abuse my gifts, you do not blindly follow every word I say."

"Really?" Emily raised a brow at that.

"Remember when I advised against allowing Marcell Blinker being appointed Minister of Justice?" his tone was playful.

"You spoke quite vehemently against him," she said, thoughtful. "I nearly followed your words, after all you do give good advice."

"But you did not."

Emily snorted; he sounded so pleased at being ignored. "No, I decided to talk to him about the matter, and now we have an adept Minister who learned from his crime and is unwilling to be corrupted again."

The look of admiration he was giving her warmed her to her bones. She felt her blush return.

"I missed you this past week," she admitted quietly. "I even missed your horrible eating habits."

He laughed and blushed. "It gladdens my heart to hear you missed me. I missed you too." The Outsider became quiet again, his eyes returning back to his hands. "Being a part of your life means a great deal to me, and I have been scared that you would no longer want me around if you knew of my regard for you."

His deep black eyes looked back at her, fearful and vulnerable. Emily squeezed his hands, not to certain what to say, but wanting to ease his anxieties.

"Your presence and company also mean a lot to me," she said slowly, but putting as much of her earnest goodwill as she could in each word. "I honestly thought you would disappear, lose interest in me after a few days. I have few friends, and it sometimes floors me that I can call you one. You are wanted here, I want you here."

The Outsider said nothing, but brought her hands to his lips. He kissed them gently, his eyes looking up at hers with heated devotion.

"Court me," the words came out breathily, the breath stolen from her lungs.

The Outsider straightened, still holding her hands and her gaze. He seemed stunned, like he had been given a gift.

"I… I am not entirely certain of me feelings yet, but I want us to be more than friends." Now it was Emily's turn to stutter. The Outsider was now grinning a wide, stupid grin.

"By the void he is adorable," Emily thought. Before she could second-guess herself, she leaned forward and kissed him.

Four thousand years in the Void the Outsider had spent in a constant struggle to feel the emotions he wanted to feel. The Void itself hungrily sucked away everything, leaving him numb. The closest he had gotten to being happy was whenever his Marked pleasantly surprised him.

But now, in the world mortal, with Emily kissing him, he felt so happy that it felt impossible to feel any other way. The Void felt like it did not exist, and all he could see in his mind was her- not flashes of horrible futures. He felt human.

The kiss ended, and the Outsider rested his forehead on Emily's, a stupid grin on his face. Neither of them moved, and he would have been happy to remain that way for another thousand years. Emily dropped her head to his shoulder and yawned.

"As nice as it would to stay like this, cannot both fall asleep here and leave my maid to wonder who you are," her voice was heavy with sleep. "Though you are very comfortable… and you smell nice."

The Outsider put his head atop hers and said nothing, both basking in her regard and agreeing with her assertion about the maid.

"If you do not move I will be more than happy to fall asleep as is right now," Emily threatened into the cloth of his jacket.

Must he be the responsible one? He looked down at Emily, who was still dressed in her boots and her formal clothes.

"You might want to change into something more comfortable," he suggested quietly.

She playfully smacked his thigh. "Woo me first before you say something so rakish to me. But I forgive you."

He blushed, the implication of what he said caught up to him. The Outsider gently kissed Emily on the forehead, and slowly stood up.

"I will see you in the morning," he said, warmth and affection bleeding into his farewell.

"You better," Emily replied while taking off her boots. "How else will I learn new ways of eating toast?"

He laughed softly and allowed himself to melt into shadows. For the first time in his entire life that he could remember, the Outsider was truly excited to see tomorrow.