Chapter 28: Headstands
Emily left Parliament with a pounding headache. The entire morning session was spent debating MP Emerson's tax code. What irked her to no end was after opening the debate by giving her opinion on the proposed tax code, the MPs did not even bother to ask her why she thought the way she did. It was a waste of the seven page argumentative essay Greta and the Outsider practically forced her to write the day before so she would be prepared.
In any case the whole debate was cut short when Emerson insulted Ryswell's honor and the burly man hit his slight opponent with a bottle of pear soda, starting a brawl. Emily, Speaker Flaherty, and Captain Otte of the City Watch spent the next thirty minutes attempting to restore order, ending with Emily seizing Captain Otte's pistol and shooting it into the ceiling while screaming for them all to go home and only return the following day when they "could be fucking civil."
It was a shame the Outsider had decided against coming. He certainly would be cackling his head off at the scene. It would be good to see him after a morning like this one.
She found him in her office, a book floating in front of his face as he performed an elegant handstand. His brow was furrowed and he did not seem to notice her entrance.
It had been years since Emily tried a handstand, but it couldn't be that hard. She got as close as she dared to the Outsider, and got on her hands. Her muscles shook a bit, causing Emily to frown as she straightened her posture. It had been awhile since she properly trained- something she should fix as soon as possible.
Throughout it all the Outsider remained engrossed in his book, entitled The Properties of Whale Oil. Emily could not keep her eyes from widening as he effortlessly shifted his weight to one hand and lifted up the other to turn the page. After a couple more seconds of him quietly reading Emily decided to make herself noticed.
"How is the reading?"
The book dropped to the ground with a soft thud, and when their eyes met he gave her a wide smile.
"You are back early."
"Ryswell started a brawl," her arms were starting to burn, but she eagerly ignored it. "I had to send them all home like children."
The Outsider burst out laughing, his eyes closed as he delighted in the image of grown men acting like children. "Did they really?" he said between giggles. "I wish I chose to accompany you then, it would have been a delight to observe such a thing again."
"Have you seen many such brawls?" she asked, curious.
"They are actually surprisingly rare," he answered thoughtfully, though his eyes revealed his continued merriment. "Though I suppose my favorite one occurred at some long gone city on the other side of the world. The Dowager Queen, in full ceremonial dress, took a flying elbow drop into the Diet floor and later suplexed the prime minister." An eager look appeared on his face. "Did you fight anyone?"
"An Empress does not fight the Members of Parliament except with words," she replied with theatrical loftiness. "No, all I did was scream at them and fire Captain Otte's pistol into the ceiling."
"I admire your restraint," his tone was playful, and he tilted his head. It was exceedingly endearing. "The next time such a brawl happens and I am absent, please call upon me. Nothing would delight me more than seeing you put some of those men in their place."
Emily chuckled. "Alright, I promise." She felt her arms begin to tremble as they reached their limit, and her legs burn from the effort of holding them up. With as much grace as she could Emily did a back bend and stood up. She turned around to see the Outsider regarding her, still in a handstand.
"How are you still like that?" Emily said as she sat down across from him, astonished.
"I used to do acrobatics as a way to beg for food and coin," he shifted on one hand and swung his legs down while pushing up, landing in a kneeling position. "One time a noble family paid me and several other skilled like me to hold trays on our feet for an evening. I had bread each day from them for a month."
"Your muscle memory must be fantastic," she murmured, looking at him with newfound appreciation.
"It is certainly better than my actual memories," his voice was pensive, and he traced shapes on the carpet between them. "I have such hazy recollections of who I used to be. Some memories are sharper than others, usually the miserable violent ones, but occasionally the happier ones will come into focus."
"Oh," Emily did not know quite what to say. She brushed her fingers against his and loosely entwined their hands. "I am sorry about that."
The Outsider gave her a small smile. "It is alright, some memories are best forgotten."
She gave him a warmer smile. "All the better to make room for new ones."
He laughed and kissed her on the cheek. "Good memories too."
They sat there for a moment, foreheads together and eyes closed. The stillness was disturbed by their stomachs growling at the same time. Emily giggled and brought her head up.
"I'm going to dip down to the kitchens and have them bring us lunch up here," she said as she got to her feet. "Want anything in particular?"
He tilted his head as he thought for a moment. "Surprise me."
The Outsider happily dipped his bread into a hagfish stew as Emily complained about the perceived uselessness of offering her option to the Parliament floor. Eulalia had finally deigned to join them after spending most the last week with Corvo. The Outsider strongly suspected that the fussy little bird was not keen on being around a sexually active couple.
"After I concluded my speech nobody asked questions," Emily sourly jabbed her fork into a carrot. "Nobody attempted to refute my points, to probe any assertions I made. I might as well just have said "tax code good" and things would have turned out the same."
The Outsider waited to finish chewing his food before he responded. Emily certainly did not like it whenever he talked with his mouth full.
"They do not fully see your position as one of debate, Empress," he helped himself to another roll from the basket and tore it in half. "You propose laws, and you have the final say in all laws. The members of Parliament are not trying to persuade you to see another way, rather for their peers to see another way."
"Then what was the point of me writing a seven page argumentative essay?" she grumbled. Eulalia warbled, pecking at the hunk of brown bread they had set aside for her.
"There is clarity in the mind when you can clearly articulate your stance," the Outsider replied as he used half of the roll to scoop up some fish and celery. "If you wanted you could even publish this essay to display your stance on the tax code. It certainly affects enough people, and they may appreciate having your opinion far more than the members of Parliament."
Emily hummed as he ate the roll, eating the carrot and chewing on it slowly.
"I do like the idea of publishing my opinions on particularly important laws," she said thoughtfully. "What about you?"
He swallowed the mostly chewed roll and stew. "What about me?"
"You have opinions, why not share them too?"
The Outsider snorted and dipped the other half of the roll into the stew. "The Outsider speaks positively about sunlight, the Abbey declares a holy war against the sun." He shoved the liquid-soaked bread into his mouth.
Emily rolled her eyes. "Use the pseudonym we gave you."
"No one is going to listen to Owen Pharmakós from Serkonos," he grumbled around the half-chewed roll.
Emily tilted her head. "Pharmakós?"
He swallowed the bread before he spoke. "A social outcast chosen to be a ritual scapegoat to be sacrificed to cleanse the community in times of disaster; or what I am." The Outsider waved a hand, gesturing to himself. "The Abbey is unified around blaming me for the world's ills, using me as the scapegoat for things that you know I cannot be blamed for."
"Then it is a good last name to give yourself," Emily agreed. "But truly, no one would listen to you?"
"No one has a reason to," he grabbed another roll, set on using it to get a very particular bit of fish and carrot. "I do not have any authority to back me up."
A gleam appeared in Emily's brown eyes, distracting him briefly from his food. She was so very pretty.
"Esma has invited us to soiree on the 13th of the month," she leaned forward, prompting Eulalia to lean forward too and peep at him. "It would be a good opportunity for you to gain some supporters and with them, some authority."
"Emily, I am not a politician," he replied gently. "I do not feel comfortable currying favor from people."
"Not even if it is for a good cause?" she pressed, eyebrow raised. "I know you are looking for a way to break us away from whaling. I know you have been the main reason whaling ships no longer pull into Dunwall at night."
The cover of darkness did make freeing and branding whales with his Mark so much easier. It also kept panic and chaos to a minimum. It was a shame the whalers had wised up on this tactic.
"The soiree is to celebrate Dr. Galvani's appointment as Head of the Academy," Emily continued. "It is the perfect time and place to talk about alternatives to whale oil, and the importance of preserving the whale population."
The Outsider nervously chewed his food. He might be able to get by talking to aristocrats, whose knowledge of such things was more likely to be unspecified and were also more likely to regard him as entertainment. But to debate with natural philosophers, who keenly dissected facts from feelings and demanded a tangible truth? It was honestly a lot of pressure that he was not keen on facing. And yet, backing away from it would be cowardly. Not to mention Emily was so very keen to see him share his mind, firmly believing in his intelligence. The thought of disappointing her left a sour taste in his mouth.
"I will consider it," the Outsider replied. Emily grinned widely at him, glee shining in her eyes.
"Excellent! Let me know if I can help in some way. I promise, natural philosophers are an easy to please bunch. Just ask them about their research and ask questions about it. I'll point you to the nice ones when we arrive."
He smiled gratefully back at her. "Thank you Emily."
"It's my pleasure!" she turned back to her food and they ate in silence for a bit. A certain, no-nonsense look bloomed on Emily's face and she put down her fork.
"Speaking of other things that are my pleasure, I have made an appointment with the Royal Tailor to get you more clothes."
The Outsider opened his mouth to tell her it really was not necessary and was promptly silenced when she put a finger to her lips.
"Billie came to me last week to discuss your lack of adequate clothing, something that I am embarrassed to say that I did not think much about before we talked, perhaps since I too like wearing the same things over and over. But I have warm coats and aristocrat-acceptable evening wear, and you do not."
She took her finger from his lips, her expression booking no argument.
"You do not have to be the only one giving pretty things to someone you care about," she finished, lips quirked. Eulalia whistled and hopped onto Emily's plate, eyeing the remaining vegetables.
The Outsider tried not to wince in embarrassment as he was reminded of his theft. True, Emily loved Eulalia dearly and appreciated the gift. What she did not appreciate was being the recipient of stolen goods. In any case, he was not eager to repeat that sort of mistake. There were better ways to procure gifts.
He smiled, half abashed and half thankful. "Thank you, truly."
Emily made a noise of delight that was cheerfully echoed by Eulalia and brought her hands together as she leaned forward on the table.
"Excellent! Luiz should be waiting for us when we finish lunch. Oh, I am truly glad you are open to this!"
The Outsider had a feeling that he would have been press-ganged into a wardrobe expansion no matter his opinions of the issue, but it pleased him that Emily was happier that he was open to it.
But that did not necessarily mean he was going to enjoy it.
AN:
I'm back! Sorry about the wait, expect a bunch of chapters being uploaded soon!
I'm planning on starting a series extras, but that is going to be on a separate story to keep this one from being too crowded.