Chapter 42: Dark Dreams

Emily gave her head a shake as she removed the last of the pins keeping her bun in place. It felt so good to let her hair down at the end of the day. A couple forgotten pins clattered against the floor. She winced, hoping some of the smaller ones did not get stuck between the floorboards. Extracting them was a pain.

"Dropped something, Empress?"

Emily turned around on her stool and smiled at the Outsider who held her dropped pins in his hand. He was still wearing his stained overcoat and looked vaguely windswept. Leaning over to drop the pins into their box, he gave her a kiss which she gladly returned. He tasted of seawater.

"Been visiting the whales?" Emily asked as he took a step back and shed his overcoat. The large heavy thing disappeared into whatever closet he kept it in.

A smile appeared on the Outsider's face. "What clued you in?"

"Oh just the fact that you taste like the sea," she picked up a hairbrush and held it out to him. He took it and Emily turned back around so he could brush her hair. The Outsider had such a knack with haircare, something that was especially odd for someone with short hair. Eventually she would ask just how he came across such abilities.

The Outsider hummed in response to her remark. "I did go swimming with them for a bit, just to see how they were faring. A new one joined the pod, another old female. I haven't figured out a name for her yet."

"Perhaps you can call her Grandmother," Emily suggested, relaxing. In the mirror she could see him intently tending to a snarl the end of her hair, his body twisted so he was floating off the ground, feet pointing at the ceiling.

"Yia yiá," he seemed to say the phrase absently, far too focused on not tugging on her hair to put much effort into the conversation. "That sounds like it would fit her perfectly."

A thought came to Emily, summoned by the strange phrase for Grandmother. "Will you be teaching our child your language?"

The Outsider's head shot up, making eye contact with her through the mirror. He looked rather stunned at the thought. "I can do that?"

"If you want to, then yes," Emily smiled at him. "I also would not be against learning if you wish to teach me."

"Hmmm, I'll have to figure out the best way to go about it," he returned his attention to her hair, comfortably hanging upside down. "I have never thought about how to teach someone anything, let alone a long-dead language."

"Truly?" Emily quirked her eyebrow in surprise. "I find it hard to believe you never thought of teaching people. What about your Marked?"

"If they learn something from me that was an accident," the Outsider replied. "I simply offer them information, my opinion, and perhaps a question or two. I was not there to educate but observe.

He was quiet for a moment, and then a rather giddy smile crossed his face.

"I hope I can be a good teacher. Gods! How fantastic would it be to share my language with someone again?"

"I suppose there are things that are easier to convey in your language," Emily remarked thoughtfully.

"Oh it is far easier to weave magic in my cradle tongue, though I'm unsure as to the reason for that," the Outsider replied, a frown hidden in his voice. "Perhaps it is because easier to pour my intentions into the words. I know the Void forced me to sit with philosophers to learn from their words about my words, but what I did learn if I did learn anything is just no longer in my mind."

Emily hummed, content to fall silent as he finished brushing her hair, and then deftly weaved it into a loose braid. A thought came to her rather suddenly.

"Do you know anything of Jane Willoughby? She was at the tea Merida hosted and seemed uncommonly interested in our relationship."

A sudden intense look crossed his face. "The witch-accused mother of that robed petitioner Monica, is she not? I had allowed them to escape my mind, not something that I should have allowed to happen."

That filled Emily with unease. "Are they dangerous?"

"I do not know," the Outsider dropped to the ground slowly, his face slowly losing emotion. "I cannot peer into their minds, their souls. I cannot look through Monica's inner void, and I cannot even find Willoughby's. That… that makes me uneasy." Emily twisted around to face him as he ran a hand through his hair. "I am going to see the Void about this, as well as some other things that have bothered me as of late. I don't want this escaping from me again. Don't wait up for me, this might take a while."

She nodded, trying to smother her frown. "I hope the Void cooperates."

He let out a wry chuckle. "As do I."

At that, his form vanished as like dust blown by the wind. Emily let out a sigh and got to her feet. Might as well finish her bedtime routine and hope that her sleep remained dreamless until the Outsider returned.

Sleep came slowly alongside the dying of the fire and a far too empty bed. Dark nothingness descended, and all was peaceful.

Then Emily heard the call of a whale.

Her eyes shot open, and she found herself standing inside an unfamiliar courtyard. The paving stones were a light yellow, and strange plants covered with spikes decorated the edges. At the center of it all was a fountain. She walked towards it, confused as to why it failed to make noise. Emily reached out to touch the arcs spouting out of the mouths of strange creatures, and felt the cool wetness. But when she pulled her hand away there was nothing. What was going on?

Again she heard the call of a whale, so loud it vibrated in her bones. For some reason, Emily felt compelled to look up, and when she did it all fell into place.

"I am in the Void," Emily whispered to herself. How could this be? Was it not displaced by that explosion she and Greta created when getting rid of Delilah? She recalled the Outsider telling her about the strange burning barrier between himself and the Void, how he was unable to reach out to the Void unless it was before a shrine or other such places. Perhaps that had changed, perhaps it had not.

Above her was a great gray expanse littered with strange black rocks, buildings, boats, and lanterns issuing an eerie violet light. Lazily swimming alongside a strange boat adrift in the Void was a whale.

"Outsider?" she called, wondering if he pulled her into the Void.

There was nothing but silence and stillness. No, he did not pull her into the Void. He had no need or desire to do so. And even if he did, did he still have the ability? So why was she here?

The whale called again, a pleasant albeit bone-shaking sound. The beast seemed to be looking down at her quite expectantly. Perhaps it was going to take her to the Outsider? Emily flexed her left hand. It had been a long time since she used her powers, and if there was a place to use them it was here.

Reaching out, she pulled herself to the crumbling rooftop of the building around the courtyard, then to a large boulder floating just beyond. The whale swam to the black rock and presented its back. Emily breathed a sigh of relief. Her guess was right. Reaching out again, Emily landed on the whale's back. With a pleased-sounding grumble, the whale shot off into the Void.

Emily drank in the eerie sights around her, the buildings built in cliffs of black stone, warm yellow light issuing from their windows. Elegant buildings awash with blue light, people frozen in place as they went about their business. Boats of all kinds stranded in the air as every now and then a whale glided past. It was so cold, so lonely. Emily shuddered. It was truly a land of the dead. How did the Outsider stand existing in here for so long?

The whale finally came to a stop by a broken set of stairs, leading up into a strange building embedded in the rock. Emily patted the whale and murmured thanks before leaping onto the stairs. She almost experienced heart failure as she lost her balance, but luckily with a bit on undignified arm flailing and sitting down on the stairs, Emily did not fall off the edge. The whale lingered by, watching her with its big brown eye.

"Tell no one of that," she warned.

The whale huffed through its blowhole, seeming to understand.

Emily looked up the short flight of stairs. The doorway at the top was dark, and something about it made her skin crawl. Hopefully the Outsider was nearby; she needed an explanation for all of this.

Beyond the doorway was a neatly furnished parlor with two walls gaping open as if some giant beast had ripped them off. Beyond the missing walls was a flat cliff of black stone, and on that cliff stood the Outsider, talking to… himself?

"Ah, she is finally here!" the voice was a strange crooning hiss and immediately Emily found herself dropped into a chair and the fireplace in the corner ignited to a blue flame.

"Who is here?" that was the Outsider, his voice fainter and very much confused.

"Why your hen!" one of the Outsiders made a flourish towards her.

"… My hen?"

One of the Outsider dropped an arm over the other "Oh how silly of me! I mean your cow."

"My cow?!"

"It's not a cow?" the two were walking towards her, one looking far more eager than the other. One snapped his fingers. "I've got it! Your bitch!"

"What in the name of Concordia are you talking about?" the other declared. That one was surely her Outsider. But who was the other one?

"Your human female of course!" the strange one declared eagerly.

The two came to a halt as her Outsider shoved the other's arm off him. "You brought Emily here?" His voice was cold with fury.

"Yes, your bitch."

Immediately the other Outsider was slammed off the cliff by an oversized shadowy arm. The shadows dissipated, and her Outsider was running to her a fearful look on his face. Emily felt frozen in place, unable to do anything but watch him.

The Outsider came to stop before her, dropping to his knees and gently took her face into his hands. Emily let go of a breath she did not know she was holding and leaned into the touch, lifting up her hands to grasp his.

"Are you alright?" his dark eyes darted around, searching for an injury.

"I am fine," she assured him, reaching out to touch his face. "Who was that with you?"

"Me bitch!"

Emily barely processed the creature's presence before it was once again punted out of the parlor and off the cliff. The Outsider had taken his hands off her face and they were clenched into tight fists. His teeth were bared into a snarl and eyes narrowed as he glared at the place the creature had once stood.

"I hate that fucking thing!" he snarled.

"I have a name!" the crooning hiss shouted back. "Unlike you!"

The Outsider proceeded to make several strange, presumably rude gestures at the air. Moments later the creature reformed just in front of him, taking the form of the Outsider, but with pale grey human eyes.

"I am understanding that 'bitch' is not the correct term for a human female, but there was no need for you to act so violently," the creature put a hand on his hip and gave the Outsider a disappointed look.

"You must be joking," the Outsider shifted to stand between the strange inhuman creature and herself.

"I fail to see how any of my behavior or language may be construed as a 'joke' as you call it," the creature sounded rather hurt and lost. "If it was not the correct word for a human female you should have corrected me."

Emily watched the Outsider take a long breath, as tense as a coiled spring. "The correct word for a human female is 'woman'. 'Bitch' is an insult for women. You repeatedly insulted Emily."

"I did?" the creature sounded surprised. It then leaned around the Outsider to look at her, its strange pale eyes unsettling. "I am sorry for that. I truly think well of you, particularly since you seem to be quite good for my representative's health."

"Your representative?" Emily stuttered, feeling utterly lost.

A wide inhuman smile crossed the creature's face, the whites of its eyes fading to black. "I am the Void as your dear Outsider sees it. And now you too have been blessed with the privilege."

"Cursed more like it," the Outsider hissed. "Why did you bring Emily here?"

"I would have had no need to bring her here if you did not impregnate her," the Void drawled, dissolving and reforming into a bony old woman sitting on a chair across from them. "God and human do not mix, at least not in a way that mother survives. And I would so hate for you to lose such a suitable consort."

Fear pooled in Emily's gut. "What exactly do you mean?" the question came out weakly.

The Void waved its hand flippantly. "Oh, nothing that cannot be fixed. Humans are remarkably adaptable and pliable. With your consent and my dear representative's consent, you should not have to worry about the supernatural side of things."

"You did not answer her question," the Outsider's tone was cagey, and his face betrayed that he knew something about the danger she faced. Perhaps that might be one of the things that he initially went to see the Void about? Emily took in a shaky breath.

"Must I?" the Void whined. "Explaining exactly why she is in danger is sooo long. Just let me make the fix and you can go back to your lives."

"Yes," Emily forced the word out, glaring at the creature. "I want to make an informed decision, not simply rely on your dubious word."

The Void gave her a long look before shifting his gaze towards the Outsider. "I can see why you like her. Very well, I will explain."

It twisted its hand and the chair Emily was sitting in elongated into a couch. Just as soon as that space appeared the Outsider was forced to sit down, his expression very much that of a hound that ate a rosebush. The Void shifted appearance to that of a strangely dressed man complete with an odd mustache and a monocle.

"10 billion years ago I was minding my own business, then next thing I know I'm holding a universe and untold power within me. This was exceedingly annoying, especially since the Stars who were supposed to know what was going on very much did not know what was going on. Long story short, I was now in charge of holding all the leftover energy that remained after all that creation shit went down. Fun fact about energy, it can neither be created nor destroyed, only transformed. And boy does it transform. It is very very very annoying."

The Outsider folded his arms. "Alright, but what does that have to do with anything?"

The Void paused, a flicker of something strange crossing its face. That flicker looked very much like it realized that it was saying things that it should not be saying. Then it let out a jarring seagull-like laugh.

"Nothing, of course, forget I ever said it! Now, what was the topic again?"

"Why I am in danger and what you are going to do to me in order to fix it," Emily answered, wondering if the Void was somewhat daft.

"Oh yes, that!" it lit up before retreating back into its own thoughts. "Now how do I explain this?"

"You are hiding something," the Outsider said shrewdly, his head tilted.

The Void froze then pointed a scolding finger at the Outsider. "You, shush. I need to concentrate."

Emily shot a glance at the Outsider who was deep in thought, his brow furrowed. The Void was mumbling to itself for a bit, before finally, gleefully snapping its fingers.

"I have it! So, humans can only stand sooo much exposure to the void, which is why witches tend to go cuckoo for cocoa puffs or get sick as a dog after eating all said cocoa puffs. That's why the Outsider and I tooled up the Mark, to make a safe way to channel the powers of the Void without overloading the person." Emily opened her mouth but was cut off by a finger pointed in her direction. "Now I know what you're going to say 'Void, why is it only now a problem after all I have been engaging in sexual intercourse with your representative and nothing bad happened.'." The Void mimicking her voice perfectly was very, very unsettling. "Well, that is not the same as having to play host to an uncontrollable hunk of half void. Your human physiology cannot handle it nor keep up with its demands after the fourth month so you will essentially waste away and be cannibalized by your own offspring."

Emily found herself trembling at how casually the Void outlined her fate, an utterly terrifying fate. No, focus, it was offering to fix that. This was not what will be, this is only what could be. Besides, the Outsider would certainly not allow anything so terrible to happen to her.

"But you said you can fix that," there was a touch of desperation in the Outsider's voice. "How?"

The Void's face split apart in a wide smile. "Why by altering human physiology to make it more durable to the negative influences of the void! Consider it to be a gift from me to you, woman!"

"Emily," Emily corrected the Void faintly. "My name is Emily. And what do you mean by altering?"

The Void waved her off. "Nothing so terrible that you will be unrecognizably human or lose your humanity. All you will get is the delightful side effects of accelerated healing rate, perpetual youth, enhanced sense of smell, predisposition to itching around men with blue hair, and being seen as more delicious to certain animals. Oh! And the possible ability to digest pure manganese."

Emily stared at the Void. On the positive side, all of what it described were things she could live with, and even rejoice in. Accelerated healing rate and perpetual youth? Goodbye doctors! Enhanced sense of smell would have its ups and downs but it was nothing too severe. The final three things were simply baffling to her. Baffling, but livable. The offering was far more preferable to a slow and agonizing death.

"All that is needed is the accelerated healing rate and perpetual youth, and it can be delivered without all the extraneous nonsense," the Outsider glared at Void. "So why are you adding such things?"

A long silence stretched between them. The air felt thick as the Void's pale eyes widened then narrowed, its form shifting from a dapper aristocrat to a gaunt, decaying fang deer wreathed in dark smoke, teeth bared into a grim smile.

"I am doing you a favor, representative. A self-serving favor on my part, but a favor nonetheless. So unless you want to reject my oh-so-generous offer and watch your consort die, take what I am offering. It is the best either of you will get."

Emily shivered at the cold tone and reached out to touch the Outsider, whose eyes were coldly fixed on the Void.

"Outsider, it really is not so bad," she whispered. "Let us just take the offer."

A muscle twitched in his jaw, and he tore his eyes off the Void. "It is hiding something!" he hissed.

"Then find it out later when my life is not on the line!" Emily hissed back.

The Outsider looked like she had slapped him. Shame flooded his eyes, and he hung his head. "I'm sorry, I was not thinking correctly." After a moment he looked up at the Void, both submissive and determined. "What do we need to do?"

The Void stamped its hooves, flashing a ghoulish smile. "I knew this woman helps you see straight! Now, as for what is needed, I need you both to hold still."

"Hold still?" the Outsider snarked. "What is holding still going to do?"

Emily, not appreciating the Outsider's attitude, opened her mouth to scold him. But before any words could come from her mouth her vision suddenly went white. Searing pain emanated from her bones like she had just walked through a Wall of Light. Her chest was tight, she could not breathe. As suddenly as it arrived, the pain disappeared. Emily inhaled deeply, choking on the sudden influx of air, tasting blood in her mouth. Beside her she could hear the Outsider coughing too.

"Eugh, I didn't think it would be so rough on you two. You look like a pair of Weepers," the blinding white finally faded, and Emily could see a very concerned shadow looking at her. She touched her cheek, and found her fingers came away red. The Outsider continued to cough harshly, doubling over. The Void reached out and placed its hand on the Outsider's head. "This should not have taken so much out of you… Oh, I know why…"

The Void began to talk in a foreign language, its tone disappointed and a touch scolding. Emily wiped away the bloody tear tracks on her cheeks, feeling shaky. Was she alright? Was the baby alright? She looked over at the Outsider, who swiped the Void's hand off his head and glared furiously at it, blood flowing from his eyes and dribbling from the corners of his mouth.

"Do not lecture me!" he snapped. "Just tell me truly that Emily will be alright, that our child will be alright!"

"Oh your woman and child will be fine!" the Void cheerfully waved him off, before locking eyes with her. Emily shivered at its cold gaze. "This little upgrade is not a free pass to neglect your health. You still can get ill, you still can get injured, and you still can die. Be a dear and don't give up the ghost, alright?"

At that moment Emily felt small, very small. A flicker of fury sprung up in her chest, how dare this thing condescend to her? And yet, what could she do about it? The Void held her life in her hands, and even chose to give it to her. She could ill afford to spit in its face, however much she wanted to in this moment.

"I take your silence as a yes!" the Void's chipper tone drew her out of her thoughts. "Well then, I will see you in six months or so, unless you do something stupid to yourself. Ta ta."

Suddenly her vision turned to black. Panic filled her gut, and her eyes shot open. In the dim light and fading embers of the fireplace across, Emily could see she was back in her bedroom, sitting upright in the bed. She shuddered, it all felt like a bad dream.

"Emily, are you alright?"

It was the Outsider. He was cautiously approaching her, his bloodstained face baring an expression of contrition and worry. She smiled at him.

"You look awful."

He winced and laughed. "You are looking a touch bloody as well, here."

The Outsider flicked his fingers, and a pair of steaming towel appeared. Emily happily plucked one out of the air and wiped her face. Immediately she felt better, even seeing the towel stained red. Her head tilted as she watched the Outsider make sure his face was clean of all the blood.

"Come, sit," Emily murmured, patting the mattress.

He flashed a thin smile at her, and after shedding his shoes joined her on the bed. Emily immediately collapsed onto his chest, finally feeling safe.

"The Void is a cunt," she groused.

A beat later the Outsider burst into laughter. Quickly remembering it was night he stifled his guffaws to giggles, still shaking mightily with mirth.

"What, it is!" she protested, not entirely sure what was so funny.

"I am sorry!" he continued to cackle. "I did not expect you to stay that!"

"That the Void is a cunt?"

The Outsider wheezed, trying not to double over with laughter, and something clicked in Emily's head.

"You think me cursing is funny," she gave him a glare.

He shrugged, clearly admitting that was the reason for his mirth. "There is just something so… delightful in seeing someone as well-mannered and beautiful as you call the Void a cunt. And do not worry, you are completely right, the Void is a complete and utter cunt."

Emily settled, frowning at the very thought of the Void. "While it pleases me that we are in accord, I am worried about what the Void could do to us."

The Outsider was silent for a long moment, the arm he had draped over her toying with the end of her braid. "I can promise you, so long as the Void favors me you will have nothing to fear from it."

"I could tell it saw me as a tool," Emily whispered. "Why? Why does it need me?"

The Outsider went still for a bit, and sighed. "Probably because it can sense that I want to end my service. When you leave this life, I want to be able to go with you. I have already lived longer than any person should have."

Emily searched for his hand and grasped it tightly. "You want to become mortal?"

"What I want is to no longer be alone," he said quietly. "And I cannot see you choosing to become immortal alongside me."

Immortal alongside him. Emily had not even thought of this as an option. The Void could likely make it happen, even gladly make it happen. But, outliving everyone she knew, even her own child? It hurt to consider that.

"How will you become mortal?" she murmured.

"I do not know," his voice was brittle. "There might not even be a way."

"Are you certain?" after she said those words Emily felt terrible. Why on earth was she encouraging him to seek mortality, to seek death?

"I am not longer what I am supposed to be. What I was could be killed. What I am now, I do not think should even exist," his words were cryptic, and his tone was painful. Emily pulled up the hand in her grasp and kissed it.

"No matter what you are, I am so very glad you are here with me."

The Outsider shifted, and she could feel him kiss the top of her head. "Don't leave me too soon, alright?"

"It will take many, many years before you shake me off," she replied with a grin.