Chapter 44: Methuselah
The Outsider's back was to the cold dark sea as he sat at the foot of King Seamus' tree. Perched at the top of the tall cliffs around Wynnedown, the hollow tree trembled in the wind, snow shaken from its branches as more flakes tumbled in from the dark sea-born clouds. In weather like this, it was little wonder that the deceased king still had his skin and hair, now crowned with snow. The Outsider looked up into his empty sockets, distant remorse flickering in the back of his throat. A man dead before his own time by his machinations, now nothing but loveless skin and bone; it pricked his conscious.
"You will be honored," the Outsider murmured, painfully aware he was talking to nothing. "I will ensure your spirit does not wander the Void."
King Seamus, of course, said nothing.
The Outsider relaxed in the hush of the falling snow, the faintness of the waves far below. His mind felt clear, and his wounds did not ache so much anymore. Emily was preoccupied with matters of state, meeting with Members of Parliament vexed over Morley's unclear succession. No matter. At the moment he would not be missed.
"What the helium is that?"
The Outsider jumped at the sudden loud disgusted voice. It was Elanor, dressed in clothes far better suited for warmer weather. He looked around, hoping the nearby guards did not notice her and then him. When they did not budge, the Outsider glared up at her furiously.
"What are you doing here?"
"We have an unfinished conversation," Elanor replied primly. "Now that I have gotten Thaddeus off my back, I can take you to the House Over There and finish that conversation."
"I have no interest in finishing it," he dismissed her tersely, turning his face back towards King Seamus. Though he must admit he wondered who this Thaddeus person was.
"No interest?" Elanor didn't raise her voice, much to the Outsider's surprise. "You don't want to know what makes us tick? What could be causing monsters to walk the earth again? Why you were a concession to the Void?"
"I am not in a position to anger the Void," he said flatly.
"It can't be angry about what it does not know," she tempted in a sing-song voice.
"Tempting," with a roll of his eyes the Outsider glanced up at her. "I have to decline."
Elanor made a noise of annoyance. "What if this information could make you human again, or make Emily immortal? Then would it be worth something to you?"
The Outsider jumped to his feet, her words hitting a spot in his mind that was firmly closed off. "Fine!" he hissed. "I'll go with you to this 'House Over There', but this better not take long. I cannot afford to be punished."
Elanor nodded, a tense smile on her lips. "Neither can I. Alright, we'll be quick. Just jump into the void and I'll tug you to where we need to go, ok?"
The first thing the Outsider noticed when the tug ceased was a noise… a sound that seemed to rest in his bones and seize his heart in a way that was almost painful. He could faintly make out words, but not of a language he could understand.
"Ugh, he's listening to Gasolina again," Elanor complained, her body bright in the suffocating empty darkness. Before them was a large, intricate cloud of brilliant blues and purples, twinkling and gleaming. "I'm going to have to lower the music before he even can hear us. Just wait here, then I'll bring you in."
She darted off into the cloud, leaving the Outsider to count his breaths, each one coming easier than the last. Ten breathes later, the sound ceased thrumming in his bones, and the tug returned. With a yank that blurred his vision, he was pulled into the glowing cloud.
"Ahhhh! The little concession has become a God! And he is here seeking the other side of the story is he not?" the voice of a wizened old man ran into his ears, an oddly booming tone for something so feeble. His eyesight adjusted, and saw, looking up at him, an elderly dwarf made entirely of white light.
"Methuselah, meet the Outsider," Elanor introduced. "The Outsider, Methuselah."
"It is a pleasure to meet you lad!" the star pulled on his long beard, flashing a gap-toothed smile at him. "I must say, this is my first ever time meeting the God of the Void. You are far nicer than your predecessor already."
The Outsider blinked, feeling lost already. "My predecessor?"
"Oh yes," Methuselah nodded wisely, his body giving a brief flickering shudder at some memory as he wandered over and taking a handful of the cloud. "It was far stronger and hungrier than its predecessors, but since each one ate the one before it such a thing makes sense."
"Why the hell would it do that?" Elanor asked, sounding disgusted.
"It's the only way to get a stable form," Methuselah smiled as he wove the cloud into a cup filled with a smoking liquid. "Gods aren't as stable as you, me, or the Void. Their forms and powers can be taken by anyone more powerful than them. Besides, it was the culture back then. I am very glad we put a stop to that."
The Outside nodded slowly, folding his unbroken arm into the sling. "So, what even is a god?"
The dwarf hummed, sipping his celestial cup. "Well, how should I put it? I suppose it is still true now, though perhaps the near 5,000 years have changed things. As it used to be, gods were once spirits created by intelligent minds and allowed to fuse with Chaos. And your predecessors, dear the Outsider, were the ones that gave those spirits access to Chaos."
Elanor looked over at him, then back at Methuselah. She seemed to be as utterly lost as he was, which was a relief. Slowly she raised her hand, as he had seen some schoolchildren do.
"I'm sorry Methuselah, but what is Chaos?"
The star choked, spewing his drink into the air and then pounding his hand onto his chest. Once he was back to normal he cried:
"What is Chaos?! Has Thaddeus taught you nothing child?"
"Thaddeus doesn't teach any of us about the gods really, just that we shouldn't mix with the Void," Elanor replied in a small voice. Gobsmacked, Methuselah turned to the Outsider.
"Surely you must know what Chaos is, especially since the Void and the council allowed you to ascend?"
Ire immediately rose in his gut. Elanor had brought him here under false pretenses and hadn't even bothered to tell him what those pretenses were. There was no way he could blow their cover, otherwise, they were done for. He grit his teeth in an annoyed smile.
"While I might be informed, Elanor is not so why not have you explain it to her, so we can all be on the same page?"
Fortunately, Methuselah did not notice his annoyance and turned toward Elanor. "I shall have words with Thaddeus about this. Not learning what Chaos is- a disgrace! Now, child, Chaos is a force, the excess of the Energy that made us all. In the past it was everywhere, practically bleeding out of the seams of the universe. But after what happened, the Void agreed to take it all on the condition we give him someone to guard it. And that's why we have the Outsider!"
"Wait, I thought the Outsider was a concession for the Void's aid and cooperation in the incident?" Elanor asked back.
Methuselah stared at her blankly for a moment then burst out laughing, jostling his cup, spilling the still-smoking liquid. It immediately turned into gas upon striking the dwarf's round belly.
"Oh, child! Is that what they are teaching you? You poor thing! I suppose you both need to hear the full story of what happened with all those gods and your predecessor."
"Please share, the Void never said much about the whole matter," the Outsider coaxed sweetly.
"I very much doubt it did!" Methuselah remarked with a snort. "It came out of the whole thing looking very much like a fool. Now," it flicked its hands and a couch formed out of a skein of purple cloud. "Make yourselves comfortable and I will tell you how the gods threatened to devour all that was and all that lay beyond."
Uncertain with what else to do, and rather curious, the Outsider took a seat on the couch. It did not feel like anything. Elanor threw herself into it and gleefully sank into the glittering purple. Seeing that they were now captive, Methuselah darkened the space somehow, leaving only his dim glowing self and a slab of empty blackness.
"For billions of years the universe teemed with life!" In the blackness came pricks of light, some forming into round spheres, others strange creatures, some stars. "The planets, each far flung from each other, produced life, and some even produced intelligent minds! With each bright mind came spirits, each beseeching the God of the Void for power. Nobody knows where the first God of the Void came from, and the Void itself will not say. The God of the Void, being a lonely sort, bestowed Chaos upon the spirits, teaching them how to fuse the energy to themselves. They all loved and cherished her, and as centuries passed more gods appeared."
Across the black slab, forms danced, growing from thin wisps to fleshed out creatures, each foreign to the Outsider… except for one.
"Is that Fons?" the question came out softly, awed.
"Oh, one of your planet's gods?" Methuselah scratched the back of his neck sheepishly. "I'm sorry to say I never met any of them. They always kept to themselves, never bothered anyone. That did save them in the end in a way. As for the other gods, the first to realize that devouring other gods gave them power was Itokawa," before them appeared a massive creature with a grinning maw that ran between its stalked eyes down to its fat segmented tail. "Or was it Gaspra? Either way, it looked something like this. Needless to say, they devoured the first God of the Void. Those who were unhappy about it and protested were devoured too. And so life moved on, much the same as before but with more devouring in it. A shame. Now, for the first god who learned they could devour planets to get a similar boost without the fighting, that was Keith."
The Outsider blinked hard, staring at the image of a centipede-like creature with three wings and tentacles. "Keith?"
Methuselah shrugged. "Maybe, my memory is not quite what it used to be. Anyway, it ate the planet of its worshipper's enemies, ate their survivors, and in the whole ruckus ate his worshipper's planet too. Now that caused a great deal of chiding from the other gods and the God of the Void. So they all decided that eating inhabited planets is not ok, but eating uninhabited planets is fair game. I'm still surprised they never said anything about not eating other gods, but it had been three billion years since the first God of the Void had been devoured and the Void was on its 50th god by that point so I don't think anyone thought to say anything about it. If they did, they'd probably get eaten."
"What were the stars doing all this time?" Elanor piped up. "Surely they were trying to protect the intelligent life?"
"Oh my sweet stellar summer child," Methuselah sighed, a bittersweet smile on his face. "We had no reason to involve ourselves with the matters of gods and mortals. We had to manage the laws divine and mundane, keep a tally of time, make sure that our dead did not kill our living, we had enough to do as it is."
"What do you mean your dead kill your living?" the Outsider asked, mildly confused.
"Oh, some of our dead collapse in such a way we break into the very reaches of the Void, even breaking through it. Such contact is very dangerous to us, so we contain it with our sciences. It's not anything you should concern yourself with." The star waved him off
The Outsider nodded, keeping his mouth shut though he had more questions. What did he mean 'break through the Void'? There was nothing beyond the Void, was there?
"So the status quo continued until about one hundred thousand years ago," Methuselah continued. "A few gods here and there ate their planets of their worshipper's rivals, ate their rivals, ate the odd populated planet here and there and their orphaned gods. But that all changed when Nishant assumed the role of God of the Void." The slab of blackness remained blank as Methuselah went silent.
"Um, what did Nishant looks like?" Elanor said cautiously.
"I cannot bear to remember them for long," Methuselah uttered, his voice trembling. "They were a horror beyond any other, and many of my brothers and sisters died at their hand. Their name alone is the one I remember most clearly. Not even my own name looms so largely in my memories."
"What did they do?" the quiet question slipped out of the Outsider's mouth. Yet, he already knew the answer.
"They ate us," Methuselah's clear eyes bore into the Outsider, his haunted look burning itself upon him. "After all, they ate planets, so why not stars?"
Elanor gasped, choking down a horrified sob.
"What could we do against gods? We are beings that keep the rules mundane and divine, but gods, they are beings of pure Chaos, pure harnessed Chaos! Such a force has no rules, and it can break all rules we can lay down. Whole galaxies were extinguished. We couldn't stop the gods, we couldn't stop Nishant."
A beat of silence followed his speech. Elanor and Methuselah were trembling, their light flickering. The Outsider frowned. Someone was missing throughout this whole story.
"Where was the Void when all of this was happening?"
A flare of bright light issued from the dwarf as his bitter cackle filled the room. "Where was the Void? WHERE WAS THE VOID? Why the Void was in another universe!"
The Outsider felt his brain stutter to a stop for a long moment. "What?"
"HE WAS AT DISNEYWORLD," roared Methuselah, sharp energy rapidly heating the room, burning his skin.
"What is Disneyworld?" he asked meekly, feeling cowed by the ancient star.
The bright heat faded as Methuselah looked at him, dumbfounded. "You don't know?"
"The Void asks three things of me," the Outsider intoned. "Observe the world mortal, and perhaps meddle when we see fit. Ignore what lay beyond them. Protect the integrity of the Void. I did not know the stars were beings like me until earlier this year."
The dwarf's legs seemed to fail him and he collapsed. "You did not even know we existed? Oh holy hydrogen, it as if the very past was erased."
"You didn't know there were universes beyond our own?" Elanor asked, baffled. "I guess that makes sense, especially if the Void didn't want you to know it was sneaking off."
"How can the Void sneak off?" the Outsider felt a headache coming on. "I was in it, I could feel it all around me, within me."
A sympathetic look appeared on the stars faces. Methuselah offered him a comforting look. "Multiple universes have conceptions of the Void, and the Void can exist wherever there is a concept of it, but only if it has a placeholder here. That is why it always has a representative, to hold the universe together while its consciousness is elsewhere."
"Why did it never tell me this?" he shook his head as if to empty the brimming over knowledge from his skull. He ran his hand through his hair, agitated.
"Perhaps it has something to do with the final part of my story," Methuselah said, getting back to his feet. "Nishant realized that they could travel to other universes through the collapsed corpse of a star. And so it did with thousands of others, hungry for all they could lay hands on."
"Where did they end up?" whispered Elanor
"From what the Void confesses, something called a Disney Cruise. It involves things called ships and a mouse," Methuselah shrugged. "We tried asking it more about it, but all we got from it was, I quote 'No one fucks with the Mouse'. Perhaps it will be more open to you?"
"I deeply doubt it," the Outsider rolled his eyes.
"In any case, the Void had temporarily robbed Nishant and the gods of their bodies, kicked them back here, closed the hole and worked with us to utterly destroy anything of left Nishant and their followers. I am not exactly sure why us working with the Void allowed us to defeat the gods, but it did. At the end of their rampage, only three galaxies were left, and only one inhabited planet."
"What happened to all the other gods?" Elanor's glowing eyes were wide, her hands folded tightly in anticipation.
"Their worshippers were dead, so we killed them, breaking them down into the Chaos they came from. We sent that energy into the Void to stay, safely locked up away from trouble."
"But what about my gods?" the Outsider asked. "You said that they always kept to themselves, never bothered anyone, something that saved them."
"Why we let them live," Methuselah said, wiping his brow. "However, we couldn't allow them to have access to Chaos. It was too dangerous. In fact, that's why you were even allowed to be. We needed someone to be the controller of all Chaos, or as the mortals down there call it, magic. In fact, you being here… Elanor?"
She smiled expectantly at the old dwarf whose eyes narrowed suspiciously. "If he is a god, then that means the council allowed the barrier to be broken, which they explicitly said they would never allow to happen."
Elanor laughed nervously. "Really? But recently, they've changed their mind!"
"Young missy," the dwarf crossed his arms, his big voice becoming scolding, threatening. "I can tell when you are lying."
The Outsider tried to leave. He couldn't stay here, he couldn't have his cover blown. The stars couldn't be happy with his change in status. They might even want him dead. There was no fucking way he was going to die to a bunch of goddamn stars. But as soon as he tried to get up from the couch, the sharp star's tug immediately pulled him back in place. Furious he glared at Elanor. That star was going to bring him down with him!
Then suddenly, Methuselah went dim and slumped forward collapsing to the ground.
"I was wondering where you went," hissed the Void.
How they were pulled into the void the Outsider could not answer; all he knew was the burning pain it took to enter it. At least in dreams, his spirit could be pulled in with little injury. Why indeed the Void did not do that was beyond him. Perhaps it was part of the punishment for his transgression.
The Outsider watched Elanor shiver next to him, a bubble surrounding her. He sat atop a ruined chair, fear flooding his blood as the Void gazed down upon him.
"So, you now know what happened," the Void's voice was the iciest he had ever heard it.
"Yes," the word slipped softly from his mouth.
"And what does this change?" the words itched his left ear.
"Nothing?" the Outsider hedged.
"Wrong!" the Void bellowed, shaking everything around them. Elanor burst into tears. "The star is lucky she chose a senile old dwarf, otherwise you, your bitch, and your offspring would be well and truly fucked! Even then, there is no guarantee that that prick Thaddeus wouldn't brush him off."
"What would me continuing in my ignorance do?" he weakly pushed back, swallowing the flicker of anger he felt at Emily being called a bitch…again. The situation was far too grave for him to nitpick.
The Void morphed into a furiously grinning cat, its claws sharp. "Well, it would allow me to easily defend you of being the head any nefarious plans for a fucking start. Now that you know things, who is to say that you're not trying to do what your idiot predecessor did?"
"Then just wipe that from my mind," the Outsider snapped, irritation pulling through fear. "I gained next to nothing from that experience. It told me nothing about why monsters would be running around the Isles, whether or not I can become mortal or Emily immortal. Just scold Elanor and let her go."
"Ugh, fine," The Void turned its yellow eyes Elanor. "Do not take my representative into space ever again, got it?"
Elanor nodded furiously, tears streaming and turning into steam as they ran down her face.
"Alright, now shoo," with a wave of its paw the star popped out of the void. In spite of his annoyance, the Outsider hoped she would be alright. The Void shifted to glare at him, and then let out a long, defeated sigh. "My dear representative, we have crossed a threshold I never thought we would cross. I honestly thought we would have parted ways months ago, either through your death or your reversion to mortality," the Outsider looked at the Void in dumbfounded shock, prompting it to roll its lamp-like eyes. "I knew what you were planning, it was no surprise. You were breaking anyway, falling apart at the seams. It was honestly heartbreaking to watch."
"Heartbreaking?" the Outsider scoffed bitterly. "Don't make me laugh."
"I understand you never truly liked me, nor relished your duties," the Void remarked sadly, its form drooping. "What you must understand is you and I, the whole of Chaos, were tied together. Once you died, once you left the Void, I would cease to be, Chaos would cease to be. No magic nor gods would ever walk this universe again. This was my punishment for my carelessness, to die alongside you, to fade away to a dumb empty expanse inhabited only by the whistling solar winds. I was prepared to do it, I had accepted my fate."
The Outsider opened his mouth, but no words came from it. What was even supposed to say to that? Dumbly, words fell unbidden from his mouth. "But Methuselah said that the void must always have a representative of conscious mind to hold the universe together"
"Pha! They believed that nonsense?" it sneered. "The only reason I had representatives before is so the stars and gods could bug them instead of me. It was so bloody annoying talking to them. What I didn't expect was it to spiral out of control." The irritation quickly faded, and the energy seeped out of his form. The Void melted from a cat to a mirror of him, pale grey eyes peering back at him behind a mask of melancholy. "I don't know how you ascended. It was never planned to happen; the stars thought it inconceivable. You are not part of me anymore, no longer my avatar; you are your own person, free to do as you desire, no longer needing to dwell within me. Your ascension broke the barrier holding all Chaos within me; it now trickles out into your planet. The stars have not noticed yet, but they will," a long sigh issued from the Void as it walked over to him and sat beside him, floating in the air. "I do not want you dead, not because it would kill me but because I am fond of you. How could I not be? You are my hand-picked representative, the only one I have truly enjoyed talking to. I am fond of your bitch-er, woman, and I already delight in meeting your offspring. We cannot go back to the way we were before. So what now? Now I reward you for your service. I free you from your responsibilities for a human lifetime. Go, be with your women, sire a few offspring and keep your mind off the Beyond. There is no point worrying about what you cannot control. Do not talk to any gods or those who claim to be gods. Destroy them if you can. In return, I will keep you safe. The stars cannot destroy you without my consent."
"This has to be a jest," the Outsider whispered.
"I cannot make you believe me," the Void's smile was bittersweet. "But I can live up to my word. Your magic is yours, your life is yours. Do what you will with it. If you need me, I will be here."
A hush settled over them, in the grey-blue of the ruined room. In the distance, he could hear the songs of Amόra and Bḕsalon, and Dámalis and Limṓdēs. The confusing tumult within him grew until he was uncertain of where he was. Was he dead, was this all some dream meant to torture him? The Outsider felt himself shake. He wanted Emily.
"I'm going home now," the meek tremulous words were loud in the quiet. The Void simply nodded, a sad smile on his face.
"Tell your woman I say hello," it stood up, staring off into the distance. "Oh, and Athanasius?" it turned to face him, pale eyes boring into his soul. "Do not be a stranger."
Greta sneezed hard into her final clean hankie. Damn this cold! Yesterday things seemed to be going fine but today her head felt like a bolder and looking at even dim lights caused her congested head to pound. Sister Mary had immediately sent her back to her room when she showed up to work in Storage, commanding her to rest and perhaps try burning these herbs in her incense burner? So here she was, sneezing her brains out in bed while her head felt no less congested. Ugh.
At least she had some entertainment via that strange book left in Storage on the day that strange girl came crashing in. That Gnaeus Valens Salvius must have been really really old, because in all his writings on the many different gods floating about, he never once mentioned the Outsider or even the Void. Greta lowered her hankie, trying to imagine the world without the Outsider or the Void to blame for strange happenings. Would natural philosophy explain everything, or will people just make up new gods and spirits to worship and twist?
A sudden bright flash of light threw Greta out of her thoughts and momentarily blinded her. She sneezed again, missing her hankie entirely much to her annoyance.
"Greta!" that was Elanor's voice, sounding uncharacteristically distressed. Finally, the light faded, and Greta could see the star, sitting at the foot of her bed crying. "Greta, I've done something bad."
"Alright Elanor," Greta closed her book and placed it on the nightstand. "Just take a deep breath and tell me what is wrong."
She sniffed miserably, fat teardrops running down her cheeks and steaming up into nothingness. "I was trying to get to the bottom of what exactly happened to the Outsider to make him a proper god, trying to figure out what that magic was that bound him that you and Emily broke, but I think I just got us both in really deep trouble."
"Oh dear," Greta murmured. This was not sounding good. Was her life in danger; was Emily's life in danger? She hoped neither were the case. "What exactly did you find?"
"Well," Elanor sniffled, twiddling her thumbs. "I'm actually not supposed to talk to humans. No star is. I didn't think anybody would notice me popping down and blessing you guys, but since strange things outside the laws of nature and physics have been happening here, the local council leader I work under has been a lot more vigilant."
"Council?" Greta frowned. "Is this part of your star bureaucracy?"
She nodded, tears now not falling so frequently. "His name is Thaddeus, and he's a stickler for rule-following. I have to be careful when I come down here or even look at the planet for too long because he's now suspicious of every star that was monitoring the place."
"Alright," this was confusing. "I'm a little lost. What's so scary about Thaddeus?"
There was a beat of silence. Elanor took a deep breath, her eyes barely glowing.
"You know how I told you that aren't supposed to be gods around?"
Greta nodded, encouraging her to talk.
"Well," continued Elanor, her voice quiet. "All I knew before today was that they nearly broke the world so we got rid of them. I knew only one planet that was allowed to have the laws of nature and physics broken was this planet. That's why I was so excited to be posted to keep track of its time and laws, the record its music. I was always told to fear the Void; that it had a representative but we were never meant to meet it. We were above that. After we freed the Outsider from that strange magic I found myself wanting more answers. What was that that bound him? Who cast it, and where did it come from? So I dug for answers, and they all pointed to the past. But Thaddeus doesn't like talking about the past. He says it distracts us from the present. But why do we keep such records if we aren't meant to look at them!"
"Here, here!" muttered Greta.
"When Thaddeus caught me poking around the records he threatened to remove me from my post," frustration grew on Elanor's face. "It was a warning, but a threat I have seen him carry out before. But that just made me want to know more what he was hiding."
"Was he hiding anything?" Greta asked quietly, too interest by the possible conspiracy to leave the question unasked.
Elanor shrugged. "Other than the past, it doesn't really seem like anything. I learned slowly how the Outsider wasn't a god, how he was a concession to the Void on the stars' behalf. Apparently, the Void was the source of the gods' powers, so it was to blame for the gods' misdeeds or something like that. I passed that information on to the Outsider, but he didn't seem to know about it. It makes sense, why would the Void talk about past failures? I took him with me to meet with the oldest star I know, Methuselah, so we both could learn about the truth. But by doing that, I got him in trouble with the Void, and while Methuselah is senile he still might blab to Thaddeus about that meeting."
The two of them sat quietly for a moment, digesting the information. After a while, Greta finally spoke.
"Elanor, I get the feeling that while the Void might be scary, the Outsider isn't going to have anything seriously bad happen to him because it is mad. Emily told me she met it, and it chose to keep her safe and alive as a way to keep the Outsider happy. There are reasons to hide the past. While I don't really agree with any of them, the Void was probably keeping him uninformed to keep him safe."
"I guessed that," Elanor replied softly. "But hearing you say that relieves me a bit. It is good to know we do not have to be worried about the Void's wrath. But I am worried about Thaddeus. He hates magic, that uncontrollable unpredictable force. It is, after all, the ultimate rule breaker. It comes from something that was long locked in the Void but with the Outsider's ascension the barrier keeping it all in broke. Gods used that force to eat planets and kill stars. When he gets a whiff that it's out he's going to panic."
So that perhaps explains the abundance of mythical creatures popping up across the Isles. But that was beside the point right now.
"What do you think he will do?"
"Repeat history I suppose," a sad smile crossed Elanor's face. "Stop the leak of magic out of the Void, expunge it from the world mundane, and kill all the gods. He doesn't have the power to do it by himself but he has some friends in high places, and they can twist the Void's arm so it has to help."
Great, just fantastic. The Outsider had someone out to kill him and he didn't even know it yet. Not to mention they would likely kill Emily and their child "just in case". What a world they were living in now. "While this is absolutely terrible for the Outsider and Emily, at least they aren't pissed off about you giving me and my sisters your powers," Greta offered an awkward smile.
That pulled a laugh from Elanor. "Look at you, looking on the bright side of things! That is indeed true. On the positive side, we stars move rather slowly so we might have anywhere between ten to twenty years to figure this out. I don't know, maybe things will turn out alright?"
Greta smiled. "Maybe things will turn out alright."
Elanor brightened up, laughing briefly again before a soft smile crossed her face. "Thank you, Greta, for being a good friend."
Greta waved her off, feeling her face flush. "It's the least I could do. Besides, it's good to talk about things, especially important things like this."
The star nodded, relaxing where she sat. "Speaking of talking about things, the Void mentioned the Outsider having… offspring?"
"Oh, yes. Emily is pregnant," Greta tried not to wince saying that. It wasn't her information to share but at the same time, it didn't feel wrong to tell Elanor.
Elanor blinked, confusion fully taking ahold on her dark face. "Okay, but what does Emily have to do with the Outsider's offspring?"
Greta felt her jaw drop. This could not be happening right now. "Emily is going to be the mother of the Outsider's child."
She tried to leave it there, hoping, praying that Elanor would understand. But alas, she did not.
"How?"
Holgar preserve her she is actually going to have to teach a star about the birds and the bees. This is not what Greta had signed up for. "Elanor, do you know what sex is?"
"Yes," she replied promptly. "It is when two women or two men become aroused and-"
"Wait wait wait," Greta cut her off with a wince. "You're technically right, but that's not the type of sex where babies are made."
There was a long pause as gears seemed to turn in Elanor's head, then her jaw dropped in shock.
"SEX MAKES BABIES?"
"Yes, if a man and a woman with the right parts do it," said Greta, hoping against all hope that was the last thing she needed to say.
Elanor looked around the room in astonishment, utterly silent for a long moment. "So that's where human offspring comes from! A man has sex with a woman! That's amazing."
"That's the miracle of life," Greta drawled. "How do stars reproduce?"
"Eh, interstellar matter compresses and fuses and poof! Here we are," Elanor cheerfully replied. "It takes a really long time for it to happen though, and in turn, we also live a really long time. Isn't life amazing?"
"It sure is," Greta smiled.
"Ok, I have to get going," Elanor got to her feet. "Thank you for listening to me talk and teaching me where human babies come from!"
"It was no trouble," she gave the star a wave. "Thank you for coming to me, and stay safe out there."
"You too," declared Elanor earnestly. Then with a bright burst of light, she vanished.
Immediately Greta rushed over to her desk, grabbing a notebook and a pen. She needed to make sure all she had just learned was written down.
Emily yawned as she entered her bedroom, exhaustion catching up to her. The lights were low, their yellow glow muted puddles barely illuminating beyond their sconces. The fire, however, burned brightly, throwing a long shadow across the floor and onto the bed.
"So you are back," she said fondly, walking over to the Outsider. He was sitting cross-legged upon a strange creature's chestnut fur, his chest bare and bandages gone. As she reached his side he immediately reached up to her, dark eyes begging for her to join him. Emily smiled and sat next to the Outsider, his left arm wrapping around her waist as he buried his face into her neck. Not for the first time did Emily curse her habit of wearing a scarf. She so did enjoy when he kissed her there. "What did you see out there?" she murmured.
His sigh was heavy, hot breath cutting through the soft wool. "I went to Morley to contemplate my mistakes, and there Elanor found me. She took me to see this star, who told me all about gods and universes and other uselessly mind-melting junk."
"Gods and universes?" Emily slung her arm around his shoulders, happy to hold him close.
"Things that are not relevant to anything but long resolved events," he shifted his head, and she found herself resting hers atop his. She hummed.
"But are you not a god?"
The warm crackle of the fire filled the long silence that followed, its light dancing on the floorboards and fur before her. The Outsider was tense beneath her touch, seeming to await some revelation. Then all at once, he relaxed.
"I… I do not know what I am," he whispered plaintively. "I was a human once, my name was Athanasius. But that was severed from me, my body alongside it. I became the Outsider, neither god nor man. Something changed, yet I am still the Outsider, that is how I see myself."
"Perhaps you are god and man," Emily said softly, her gaze fixed on the burning logs. "To me, you are both the Outsider and Owen in equal measure, two names that describe the same person in equally."
"Perhaps," the word was said in a breath. "I am beginning to question my purpose; my long-term purpose that is. Right now I have many options, but fifty years from now, a hundred? I am not necessary."
Emily squeezed his shoulder, his skin cool beneath her fingers. "One does not need to be necessary to exist or find purpose. Some people have argued that an Empress is not necessary to rule the Empire, thus in their eyes, I needn't exist the way I do now. I could be replaced by anyone if Parliament saw fit, dismissed to live my life like anyone else. Then I would need to find a new purpose, as the grand scheme of things would find me unnecessary. Perhaps in my new existence and my newfound purpose, I would make myself necessary, even if it is only to one person, one institution, one thing."
The Outsider said nothing, only a tired sigh issuing from his lips. He sounded so exhausted, and Emily could not blame him. It was wearying to look so far into the future, to attempt to plan for something that may or may not happen. Not to mention that he did not have the release of death- only a lonely eternity. Oh Void, how odd it felt to think of dying as selfish. The Outsider never did ask her to join him in immortality, which in its own way would be selfish. This felt like a conversation she should have Greta and Corvo rather than put the Outsider on the spot. Besides, might as well turn the subject to something lighter.
"If our child is a son, do you think Athanasius would be a good name for him?"
A beat later and the Outsider began to cackle with laughter, his whole body shaking with mirth.
"The poor boy!" he exclaimed as he regained control of his breath, shifting to sit upright, arm still around her waist. "Based on the meaning of the name I would not be surprised if it was bestowed upon me as a joke! It means 'not-death' or 'immortal' if you wish more for elegance in the meaning. It was the name of at least two of the old priests in the city, so even without the jest I cannot see a child bearing it."
"Oh?" Emily said with curiosity. "Why would the name be a jest?"
"In all my youthful brilliance I would do many dangerous things for food and coin," he proclaimed with gleeful self-mockery. "If I could pin the moment where I firmly earned the name, it was probably when thirteen year-old me thought it would be a great idea to wrestle the sacred bull after the street gang I ran with stole it. And, for context, wrestling was only proper if both opponents were fully naked."
The absurd mental image was like a feather to her feet. Emily couldn't hold back her laughter, gazing at him with unhindered surprise. "How did that go?"
He raised his eyebrows, grinning. "The bull cut loose and ran its way back home with me hanging around its neck. Now, stealing the bull was a crime punishable by death, and let's say how the bull returned was in less than ideal conditions. I was also in similarly terrible conditions, which perhaps made my fake story of saving the bull from a rival gang a little more believable."
"So let me guess," Emily grinned, holding back a giggle. "It is not surviving a wrestling match with a bull that earned you the nickname, but running into its keepers, and living to tell the tale."
"They couldn't believe it!" the Outsider cried with a laugh. "The bull's keepers let me stay in the stable for the night and gave me some bread and moldy cheese as well as an old tunic. I hung around in the area for a few days so it certainly looked like I was dead. Ajax and his company screamed like an old woman when they saw me again! After that, they started calling me Athanasius, and it stuck."
Emily chuckled, imagining burly gangsters jumping into each other's arms, shrieking as the Outsider approached them. "What did they call you before that?"
"Glaukopis," he pulled one of his legs out from beneath the other, stretching it out before him. "It means bright-eyed, usually in association with grey eyes. But it's more of an epitaph than a proper name, so earning a proper name meant a lot to me."
"That's why the Void portrays you with grey eyes!" Emily cried, rather excited. "It is a rather striking contrast from your eyes right now."
The Outsider blinked owlishly, and then his jaw dropped. "Oh! That certainly explains that. You are right, it is quite the contrast."
"You were certainly always a person with striking eyes," Emily declared fondly. "It would be nice for our child to have your eyes."
He hummed, seeming to consider it. "If only pure black eyes wouldn't fill people with suspicion and panic. And grey eyes are lost to me forever. No, it's better that they would get your pretty eyes."
"I've seen you go about without anything disguising your eyes and yet nobody seems to take issue," Emily teased lightly.
Instead of responding quickly with light wit, the Outsider became thoughtful. "They don't expect to see me with pure black eyes so they don't." He shrugged carelessly. "I suspect that they see something unnatural in my eyes, so it is wise to keep them covered from time to time. But so far, they don't see me as I really am."
Emily nodded, a question blooming in her mind. It did not feel right to ask it, yet she had to ask it if only to put her mind at rest.
"How do I know that I'm seeing the real you?" It came out as a vulnerable whisper.
A sort of bittersweet look crossed the Outsider's face. "And I'm not wearing some body that is not my true self? I don't know how to prove for certain that what you see is how I really look. But do know this- you see me how I see myself, though perhaps your mind has made me out to be more handsome than I actually am."
Emily lightly shoved him, a smile coming to her lips. "Don't put yourself down; you're a very beautiful person."
He blushed at the compliment, shyly smiling but with earnest affection alight in his eyes. "I feel safe to be myself around you; I want to show you my true self."
Warmth bloomed in her chest and across her face. Void, she loved this man. "And I too feel safe to be myself around you, you beautiful, beautiful man."
He turned redder and grinned, and began showing her with kisses. Emily happily returned them, shedding her jacket, waistcoat, and shirt in an effort to match his level of clothing. He pulled away briefly, gently removing the scarf from around her neck, love and lust burning together in his black eyes as she shed the last of her garments covering the top of her.
"Gods, Emily," he whispered hoarsely.
She leaned in close and gave him a long and slow kiss. But before he could deepen it she broke it, waiting just a hair's breadth from his lips.
"Now fuck me into this hide like you mean it."
So they spent the rest of the night, not worrying about gods or universes, or names or true selves. They were simply content to enjoy the person they were with.