Disclaimer: We own nothing. Stephenie Meyer owns the characters in this story. We are just bending them to our will and having some fun with them.

A/N…So here are the reviewer recommendations:

1st Reviewer: keepingupwiththekids recommends Hydraulic Level 5 by Gondolier

50th Reviewer: Nefty14 recommends Piano Lessons by withthevampsofcourse

100th Reviewer: Cullengirl108 recommends Shadowboxer by nobloodnofoul

Chapter 22

Mike POV

October 28, 2008

I was so glad when Tanya left my house. That bitch was fucking crazy! I will never understand why Edward married her in the first place…oh I know…he's a moron!

He deserves whatever she dishes out to him. Actually though…I kind of owe the guy. He was going to take my whore of a wife off my hands and leaving me free and clear to be with my baby.

My phone rang and broke me out of my thoughts, "Hello?"

"Hey baby."

"Hey," I said back. I loved that voice so much.

"Babe…why don't you get your sexy ass over here to my place? I need to feel your hands all over my body. I need you now and forever."

"I don't know if that's such a good idea baby. We live in the same neighborhood. And I don't know when the whore is going to show up here. I need to talk to her."

"Please? It won't look suspicious. If you want to drive and they see your car here it's not a big deal because we're friends and everyone knows that. And if you are that concerned…then walk. I need to taste your cock…now get your cute little ass over here!"

I loved it when my baby was forceful. "I'm on my way over now. I'll be running."

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My baby had just finished going down on me and we were lying on the bed…enjoying the nakedness of each other.

There was a gasp and the sound of the bedroom door being slammed. "Are you two fucking kidding me?!! Come on…I have to live here James!! You fucking promised you guys wouldn't do this at the house anymore!"

Victoria…James's wife was apparently home.

Both of our marriages were ones of convenience. James married Victoria so she could get a green card. She was Canadian and her work visa expired. They were going to deport her ass when she offered James money to marry her and keep her here. This money is what he's been holding onto for our getaway.

James and I met a long time ago. When I met Bella at college…I knew she would be perfect. She would produce a beautiful baby for James and me. And I'm not one hundred percent gay…I am actually bisexual…so it was nice getting to fuck Bella and James.

It's too bad my baby wants me all to himself…but I really wouldn't have it any other way. Bella has become a bore and a liability and I am just ready to be rid of the wench.

Bella always wondered why I was so insistent on moving to this town…this neighborhood. My beloved James was why. I had to be close to my baby. James had been bugging me for awhile to hurry up and get Bella knocked up so we could be together.

But…I was enjoying both of them at the time…so while I was frustrated that the little bitch kept telling me no about having a baby…I was enjoying it at the same time. I loved having them both…for awhile.

Bella took such good care of me…always doting on me…eager to please me in anyway. James was the same way because our moments were stolen and few and far between.

I had the best of both worlds. But like I said, I was bored with her now. She's causing me more fucking trouble than she was worth.

Now it was time for James and me to finish this and start our life together…the three of us…James…me…and our baby.

James has hidden the money away that Victoria paid him so there is no way she can take it from him. He's going to divorce her when we make our get away. Victoria knew that we were a couple and she would keep quiet about it as long as she was getting to stay in the U.S.

She was able to have her flings and everyone was happy. Now..one might wonder why we didn't just approach Victoria about one of us impregnating her. Why go to all the trouble with Bella Swan?

James married Victoria before I met Bella. I was extremely pissed at him because he too was bisexual and he was having sex with her. And if I was being perfectly honest…I never thought Victoria was very pretty. Her freckles and her god awful red hair made my dick feel like it wanted to shrivel up and die.

She was a pretty good lay though. James and I had a threesome with her a few times over the years. She was no Bella…but it was nice to do that with my baby and someone else; and I knew Bella would never allow it to happen so it was the only way I would ever get that kind of action.

Anyway, there was no way I wanted my baby to look like her. When I met Bella…I knew she was perfect. She was so beautiful…like an angel. James saw her and agreed…Bella would be the perfect person to be a mother to my child.

I was broken out of my thoughts when I realized Victoria was still in the room with us. "Seriously you guys! You promised me I wasn't going to walk in on this kind of shit ever again…unless you want to play with me too?" She said sounding full of hope.

"Sorry Vicky, Mikey and I are done with that crap. It's just the two of us from here on out. We're not having sex with anyone else."

She laughed, "Well…Mikey…don't you think your precious little wife is going to get suspicious that you aren't putting out anymore?"

"She's leaving me."

Victoria fell to the ground laughing. "That's…hilarious…she's…leaving…you! Priceless!"

"Victoria! Quit being a fucking bitch and get out of here!" James yelled at her.

"Fine…but I expect Mikey here to be gone when I get back. No more sex here…I mean it! This room reeks now!"

James threw a pillow at her from the bed as she left the room. "What a fucking twat. I hate her."

I nuzzled his neck. "Don't worry about her baby," I told him.

James's cell phone rang from his pants pocket. "Hello?"

His eyes went wide and he grinned. "Oh hey! Hold on a second…let me put you on speaker phone…I'm trying to make my bed."

I looked at him in confusion and he shushed me as he put his cell on speaker phone. "Okay…go ahead sweetie."

Who the fuck was he calling sweetie?

"Hey honey. Okay so you wanted to know everything that that Cullen guy talks to us about right?"

"Of course Leah, you know it baby," James replied to her.

Oh…it was Leah. I called this brother and sister private investigating team to have them follow Bella and Cullen. I wanted to get dirt so I could easily take our child from her. James went with me to meet with them. We told them he was my super supportive best friend.

We ended up meeting with just Leah because Seth was out on another job. She told us it was weird that we wanted her followed because her brother had talked to a guy named Cullen about following me.

What the fuck?

Oh they were going to play that way were they? It was clear Leah had a thing for my James. He played on that. He ended up having to sleep with her to get her on our side…but in the end…he turned her into a double agent of sorts. She would give us all the information on what was going down between their private investigating firm and the Cullens.

"Well Seth and me are supposed to go over to where Mr. Cullen is staying and meet with him and his girlfriend. I'll know more after the meeting but Seth seems to think that they are going to want us to do 24 hour surveillance on your friend Mike."

"Is that all you have for now sugar?"

"Yep…um…James…when am I going to see you again. I miss you. I need to be with you baby."

This bitch had it bad for my James. I felt bad for her. He had no intentions of sleeping with her gross ass again. He's just stringing her along until she is no longer useful. God, I love him. He's doing this for us…for our family.

"Soon sweetie…really soon. I've just been so busy with work. It's crazy. In fact, I just got home a little while ago and I am so exhausted. But just know Leah…I am always thinking of you and that sweet pussy. I can't wait to be inside of you again baby."

He pretended to be gagging while we chuckled at this girl's stupidity.

"Alright…I'll see you soon then James."

James just said, "Un-hunh" and hung up the phone.

What a mindless twit. Does she really believe he's into her? Obviously she does because he's doing everything he asks of her. Stupid bitch. They're all so dumb.

"Alright…so what now baby?" I asked the man of my dreams.

"Well…I think you need to lay low for awhile. It would be best if you left the house and went and stayed in a hotel. Then I don't want you going anywhere or doing anything except for going to work and back to that hotel."

"Okay…but what about us?"

"We'll figure it out Mike. We have to be smart. We need to make sure that baby inside of her is yours. SO you are going to send her an apology letter with flowers. You are going to tell her you are leaving and giving her your blessing to be with Edward and you will contact her soon to start divorce proceedings. Then…you are going to conveniently leave a glass sitting out on the counter at your house that you had something to drink from."

"Why am I going to do that?"

"Because…she will need to get a sample of your DNA for the test…and since she doesn't know that we know they are doing a DNA test…it needs to look like it's accidental. Thank goodness for once you are a slob babe and don't clean up after yourself. A dirty cup sitting on the counter won't look out of place to her at all.

I am assuming she will want to sneak into the house when you are nowhere around so she and her boy toy can get some sort of sample. We will just make it easy for them. We've got to know that the baby is truly ours…unless you don't care now."

"NO! I will not raise Cullen's kid! I want my baby…our baby! If she's knocked up by Cullen…we'll figure something else out."

"But baby…I want us to have a child so bad…can't we just take it no matter what?"

"James! Are you fucking stupid? If it's not my kid…I'll have no rights! I am not going to prison. If it's Cullen's kid…that's it. We both get divorces and we fucking start over and figure something else out. Do you understand?"

He nodded but he was pissed. He didn't like being talked to this way but it was necessary. He was being stupid and not thinking things through clearly. We had to be smart.

"Now go get me the phone book hot stuff…I've got some flowers to order," I told him. He left the room pouting. He would just have to get over this. I wasn't going to fuck up the rest of our lives. We were only doing this if Bella is pregnant with my child.

A/N…Okay my lovelies. I know this is a little shorter than usual. But life is hectic for my lovely writing partner in this story…so if you are nice and show us some love anyway…maybe piratehannelore will be encouraged to free up some time.

JUST KIDDING!! I am not going to blame the shortness all on her…sometimes life is just busy. And we both do have lives outside of fanfiction…unfortunately. And I can promise you that the next chapter will most certainly be LONGER!! AND maybe just maybe…if we could reach um…hmmm 200 reviews for this chapter…maybe we could be persuaded to post the next chapter BEFORE NEXT FRIDAY? I don't know it could happen. And before anyone tells me that 200 is ridiculous…you guys have been giving us at least 160 plus per chapter for like the last six or seven chapters. So IT IS POSSIBLE!

Review, review, review!!

Thanks to keepingupwiththekids for editing and being my rock!