Chapter 1: The NEW Twelve Labors Heracles
From OroJuice themselves, I present this story that I found super awesome. A world that shows two of my favorite characters. I thought Jason was scum before, but after Atlants, not anymore. I especially love the bro-friendship he has with Hercules.
Maybe this will change some of Chaldea's mind about him.
"Berserker!" Illya raised her hands with joy.
"Eh?" Her 'sister' Chloe then said. "You know this guy?" Illy then froze.
"I-I mean...Yes?...No?" She then grabbed her head and shook it. "Wait, what? I don't know him...yet I do?" Chloe gazed at her suspiciously while Illya just tried to figure out what was going on with her memories. Meanwhile, there were those who were genuinely interested in this story they were about to see.
"So we're seeing the Labors of Heracles huh?" Cu leaned back. "Okay. I'm interested in something like that."
"He is one of the most powerful Servants of all." King Arthur spoke with the air of a king. "It would indeed be honorable to see the challenges he overcame."
"To see my former students twelve labors. That would be quite a gift to see." Chiron smiled. Proud that his student somehow defeated all twelve impossible tasks.
"Man is this exciting!" Achilles grinned. Knowing of the most famed Servant of the Greeks. Instantly summoning some chicken and eating at it. "I can't wait to see this."
"Then you'll have to wait again." The voice then spoke up. "Because if you read the title properly, it shows this." The title then shows up on screen. And indeed it had an added word on it.
The NEW Twelve Labors Heracles
The word 'New' being the biggest mark.
"Wait a second, new?" Atalanta tilted her head. "So is Heracles doing another twelve labors of sorts?"
"That sounds cool!" Ristuka's sister said with her brother also smiling at the prospect.
"Heck yeah!" He cheered. "New battles!"
"I wouldn't say that." The voice then said. "Because these Twelve Labors are going to be less serious and more...fun." One could practically see the grin forming on that invisible face.
"How so exactly?" Merlin drank some coffee with sugar in it. "Will there be jokes and pranks?"
"Special anime girls!" Blackbeard roared.
"Maybe some, uh, drama?" Mash spoke her own thoughts.
"You'll see when Heracles and Jason take the stage." At that last part, it caused the crowd to then enter slight shock. Double for those who knew the man himself.
"Did you just say," Ritsuka then thought back, to one of the Singularities. When a man called Jason nearly killed them and commanded Heracles with ease despite being a Berserker. "Jason?"
"That guy who nearly killed us!?" His sister shouted. Remembering how that dude turned to a Demon Pillar and practically was trying to kill them.
"Well that's a surprise." Chiron remembered his old student. Out of all of them he was certainly the...okay, there's no kind way of saying this. Basically, he was the worst. His ability in battle being horrible.
"Him." Medea scowled.
"Him!" Medea (Lily) smiled.
"Seriously?" Atalanta just deadpanned. Remembering the deadbeat Jason was.
"That man." Illya gritted her teeth. "How dare he...how dare he calls himself Berserker's best friend! I'm your best friend!"
"That's what makes you angry?" Her friend Miyu said, not looking amused.
"Pretty much." The voice answered them. "In this story, in a world like yours if no a bit more advanced, trouble is coming."
"Trouble you say." Billy ate a burger before swallowing. "What kind of trouble?"
"The godly kind." Gods. Oh. Now if that isn't trouble, then who knows what they could say. The Fujimaru siblings recalled facing Diving Spirits, and they were damn tough to beat. Were it not for Mash and the Servants with them, they'd have died in a second against those monsters.
"That's right." The voice continued on. "Jason and Heracles alongside Chaldea are facing trouble. So Jason decides to help his bro Heracles get stronger."
"And it can be safe to assume he's doing so by reenacting the famous Twelve Labor challenges Heracls did in life." EMIYA Archer spoke, analyzing the information they knew along with the title. "I suppose it makes sense. Jason is foolish, but not stupid."
"Indeed." Chron spoke up for his former student. "While he never had power like the others I taught, he always looked ahead in the future." Fighting was Jason's greatest weak point. But taking arms against a threat with his allies, he was not so long as he gazed at the challenge and analyzed what was happening.
"Yep." The voice confirmed the two Archers their guesses which were spot on. "Jason and Heracles will go through a new battle, face the odds, challenge old enemies and meet new friends. Worst case scenario, they die like their old myths." Ouch, talk about rough.
"Still though...will things be alright?" Mash softly spoke. "I mean, Jason isn't exactly the most...kind person."
"Mash," She then felt Guadako put a hand on her shoulder, looking at her. "Lots of Servants here are kinda jerks." Just look at Gilgamesh, EMIYA on a bad day, or the Alters.
"Indeed." And if not jerks, outright crazy. Just ask Medb or Nightingale. Yikes. Ritsuka still recalled the times he went to her 'office' for a checkup. So many nights with his sister holding him as he cried. A scope does not go there!
"Just be careful to not say that to the wrong person." The voice told them. "After all, you'll upset the others."
"What others?" Miyu asked.
"The Argonauts." Is the response.
"What makes you say that?" Atalanta raised a brow. Not feeling convinced.
"This." Then a clip shows up to reveal another world with an unknown Master insulting Jason. Showing the responses of the Argonauts.
Insulting Jason.
Case 1: Medea (Lily)
"Oh, I understand." She said with a smile. "There are days when I don't know what to do with him either…" Her smile suddenly began appearing more darker. "With that said, what flavor of pancake would you want to be?"
While Medea grumbled saying she would never be like that, Medea (Lily) just smiled at her older self for such denial.
The Fujimaru twins meanwhile just shivered. Recalling what the younger witch did to that Demon Pillar. Taking it out then killing the Demon Pillar before using its corpse as a flavoring for her own pancakes.
Case 2: Atalante
"Couldn't agree more. And quite frankly, there is so much I could add." Despite her wording, she seemed to be rather sheepish in saying it. " For starters he's weak! Oh so weak! This is the man who's supposed to lead the Argo! He never does anything without Herakles, talking about how he needs him to show his true worth or something! Sometimes he does prove to be a bit dependable when the situation is dire, I'll admit…but only a bit! Then there's his complete lack of delicacy! Seriously, did he have to rant that much about how annoying the smell of cat fur is? It's not like I chose to be summoned with those and he knows it! Then there's-"
A few looked at Atalanta...who just turned away with slightly red cheeks. Her constant beat down of Jason was known, yet she seemed to be only saying it with force. Like she agrees with the unknown Master, pulls back, then agrees again.
'She did seem upset when Medea (Lily) said Jason thinks cats sucked.' Da Vinci realized, recalling how when the young Caster said that, a while later Atalanta shot an arrow at a picture of him. Guess she didn't entirely hate Jason.
Case 3: Asclepius
"...Well, I can say he's pretty worthless as a research sample. The guy is almost TOO healthy." His eyes then flashed dangerously at the unknown Master. "But if I were you, I'd be careful with that mouth. Because if you go any further, I might have to consider you like a germ."
Mash shivered. Nut nowhere near as much as Ritsuka who recalled those times in the health ward with Nightingale. Sometimes when she was upset, her tactics in healing him were too horrible. So he could only imagine what this man would do to him.
"Seems Jason isn't as hated as I thought." Artoria said while then eating some rice.
"I suppose not everyone is honest with their thoughts on him." Chiron chuckled with Medea (Lily) giggling and Atalanta just looking away.
Case 4: Herakles
DEAD END
There was a lot of blood with no body.
"..." Ristuka's sister just stared with her mouth opened.
A lot of other Servants also felt taken aback by that last one. Thinking on it, there are times when a Servant would kill a Master depending on the circumstances. Doesn't happen too often...But it can happen.
"Remind me not to insult this guy in front of Berserker." Illya told Chloe who nodded, a bit scared.
"Right." Achilles then whispered. "Thinking about it. Dad did say Hercules was one of the few friends this Jason guy had." His own best friend was killed and he went mad and killed Hector. Looks like it's the same with Hercules here.
"Moving on, time for the presentation." The voice told them with everyone sitting up, ready to watch their first screening. "I hope you all enjoy this. I know I did."
The NEW Twelve Labors of Heracles
It all begins in the Shadow Border where nearby is none other than the Berserker Hercules and the Saber Class Servant Jason. The two currently talking of the upcoming things occurring. Here, Jason then decides to tell his best friend the latest problem they'll be facing. And what he had to say.
"Hercules, old friend. I hate to be the one who tells you this, but as you are, I don't think you'll be of much use in the next Lostbelt."
"!" In an instant, those who knew Jason like Chiron and those who once worked with him, Atalanta and the two Medea's instantly looked on in shock. Jason, the scumbag and trash, the only friend to Hercules, just said his friend won't be of much use!
"This must be more serious than I thought." Atalanta says watching a bit more closely.
"For Jason to say this, means the situation must be bad." Chiron agreed.
"Woo-wy." Billy chuckled. "Takes guts to say something like that to the big man."
"Lostbelt? What's that?" Ritsuka then asked.
"Who knows." His sister said. "Probably nothing important. Just like those capsules."
"I wouldn't say that." Mash says softly while giving a glance at the capsules, also knowing who was in there.
Hercules didn't seem too happy with those words, instantly roaring.
"Don't maul the messenger!" Jason said, doing his best to calm Hercules. "I'm just telling the truth. We might be going up against Zeus-your father-soon!"
"Wha!" This was the reaction and face many in the theatre made and said.
"Z-z-zues!" As in the God of Thunder Ritsuka read about.
"Hercules dad." His sister shivered.
"Oh come on!" Mordred roared. "How many Gods does Chaldea have to face!?" I mean, seriously! Sure they kicked their asses, but it was never easy. Hell, they usually ended up losing Servants to said Gods before they defeated them.
"No wonder Jason said this." Medea scowled. "We may not know the circumstances of their world, but Jason isn't one to lie to Hercules."
"Oh, I hope he's okay." Medea (Lily) prayed.
"Indeed." Chiron nodded. "This situation is a grave matter.
Hercules stopped roaring, and decided to listen. Jason then continuing on his words from earlier to explain himself. "Meanwhile, you've been so weakened by circumstance that a trio of Foreign waifs can defeat you with ease."
"?" Foreign. Hercules knew one, that little girl from Salem. But who were the other two? Shaking his head, he then grumbled and asked Jason what they should even do. If he even had a plan.
At that, his friend just grinned. "Don't I always have a plan?" He smugly announced. "As you were immortalized by your Twelve Labors, performing them again ought to strengthen you."
The Fujimaru Twins slapped their own heads. Why didn't they think of that!
"Guess this explains how this all starts." EMIYA mutters.
"How, you might ask?" Jason then told the befuddled Hercules. "With a Holy Grail of course! I won one on fBay recently. Here, have a look!" Jason then revealed this supposed 'Holy Grail' which was silver instead of the usual gold. Hercules took a good long look at it, to see if his Mad Enchantment wasn't messing with his sight.
He then grumbled not buying this Holy Grail.
"Skepticism looks bad on you, Hercules." Jason chuckled. "It might be an off-market artifact, but this bootleg grail should still suit our purposes." He then grabbed onto Hercules with a smile as he held the Holy Grail in his hand. "We'll just wish for a dozen quests to conqueror, and you'll be toppling titans once again. Trust me. This can't possibly go awry."
"Where did he even get such a grail?" Atalanta felt suspicious on where this grail even came from.
"It certainly isn't a normal one, that's for certain." Da Vinci nodded. "Is it possibly man-made?"
"Who could even make such a thing?" Ritsuka's sister commented.
Whistling, Merlin just continued eating his meal. Looks like his idea of making a grail actually worked. May as well see where this leads.
The Nemean Lion
For the first trial, naturally Hercules would face the lion he did in life. Battling a monster with a strong hide, that spears and swords would do nothing to it. Of course no such demonic beast would conveniently be summoned, so the 'Holy Grail' did the next best thing.
"What's the meaning of this?" Jason yelled at the target of his rage with Hercules behind him. "You promised you'd fight Hercules one-on-one if we agreed to help you with your Argonauts movie!"
It then showed the target of the first battle...Edison.
"...Yeah, should have seen that coming." Ritsuka wasn't sure what he was expecting.
"What Jason gets for using a faulty grail." His sister also nodded.
'So I guess there are a few kinks to work out.' Merlin smirked.
"I hope he'll be alright." Blavatsky said, hoping her friend will be alright. After all, he was going against Hercules of all people. She doubted his low rank strength will help. Meanwhile, Tesla laughed beside her at how Edison was chosen to fight Hercules because of his head. What a joy!
"And I will." Edison, or should we say Volt D.C. looked at them with his army of droids. "However, before we begin production, I'll have to apply a small but crucial cosmetic change on you two."
"Sounds reasonable." Jason agreed, thinking that if he was doing a movie, he should look his best. "Are you going to dye our hair? Give us tans? Perms? Oh! I've always wanted to have a beauty mark!"
"I'm going to turn you into women." Was the answer.
Both Medeas for a second imagined a female Jason.
For the elder, she realized Jason would probably be a massive b! and couldn't even fathom. For the younger, she was just horrified she wouldn't be able to bed Jason if he was a girl.
Atalanta herself just shivered uncontrollably. She preferred male Jason than female any day of the week.
Naturally both Argonauts looked on in shock at such an answer. Both even paling at such a thought with Jason then looking at Edison in stunned shaking. "Have you gone mad, old man!? What purpose would untethering our nethers serve!?"
"To broaden the demographic, mostly. I'm afraid your story's old as dirt, boys. I've got to freshen it up somehow." Volt D.C. told the two. "Changing your genders is an easy way to create buzz and reduce that testosterone girl audiences are so afraid of nowadays."
He then chuckled a bit. "Not to mention, if there's one thing nerds love more than a hero, it's a hero who's been morphed into a gal version of themselves."
"Would...hypothetically...would we be pretty girls at the least?" Jason nervously asked.
Vold D.C. looked at his list for a bit. "Market research recommends that you be feminine but not too beautiful. Otherwise we'll alienate certain viewers."
At that Hercules had to put down his foot, literally. The floor cracked as he roared, giving his opinion of the matter. While many wouldn't understand it, they would at least get the meaning. In short, it was 'Like hell we'll do this!'.
"Hercules is right!" Jason agreed, also putting his foot down (Metaphorically). "We've worked too long and hard to be gorgeous. We're proud of our well-earned macho frames!"
"Macho?" Volt D.C. tilted his head. "You're decked out in jewelry! And the other one is wearing a dress!" He pointed these things out harshly.
"He has a point." Guadako admits. Looking at Jason who did have jewels with Hercules outfit kinda resembling a skirt.
"Of course this is what Edison focuses on." Tesla continued to laugh. "What an idiot!"
"Don't you dare insult my friend's fustanella!" Jason shouted back.
"You two are halfway there, is what I'm saying." Volt D.C. tells them, before waving his hand at someone behind him. "Besides, I've already conscripted an acclaimed doctor to perform the operation!"
It then showed Asclepius, who looked none to pleased. "I'm sorry, Jason. I neglected to read the fine print of his contract. Now I practically PAY HIM money to work here."
"Ouch." Ritsuka says.
"Fine prints." Da Vinci snorted. "No beauty in them at all."
Jason glared at Edison, with Hercules backing him up. "Asclepius or no Asclepius! You're dreaming if you think I'd ever let my cute girl version anywhere near a male Medea."
"Oh no." Volt D.C. then told Jason with a wave of his hand. "Medea and Atalanta will remain as they are. Changing their sexes would be problematic."
Thank goodness. Them! Male! The three girls felt relief at that.
"How is that even remotely fair!?" Jason complained.
"It's not about what's fair." Volt D.C. just retorted. "It's about what's trendy." He gave the cruel reality of the situation. "Now bend the knee like good little Greeks and fulfill your contractual obligations."
"Contract?" Jason then looked confused. "I don't remember signing any contract. I don't think Hercules or Asclepius signed one, either."
"He's up to something." Billy said. "I can tell."
"No doubt about it." Medea said. "He was always good at being the snake."
The two seemed to agree, with Volt D.C. looking unamused. "Trying to pull a Sisyphus, eh? Too bad! I have all three of your binding documents right here!" Like he said, he pulled out three magical contracts that had the heroes names on the. Forcing them to do their jobs.
"RULE BREAKER!" Then in an instant, with a familiar dagger, all three contracts were turned to ash. Freeing the three heroes from the lion's contractual jaws. Hercules and Asclepius then gathered near Jason who then yelled out, "Argonauts (partially) Assemble!"
"What!?" Medea yelled out. "How does he even have that? Only I have it!"
EMIYA Archer whistled away.
"Talk about the perfect contract ender." Guadako chuckles with her bro.
"You sneaky sack of sea scum!" Volt D.C. roared. "How!? How do you have access to the ultimate escape clause Noble Phantasm!?"
"I pinched it from my ex-wife when she reluctantly hugged me goodbye at the start of this adventure." Jason smugly told him.
"Hug huh?" Ristuka smirked at Medea who slightly blushed. She then clicked her tongue while muttering how she'll keep her stuff more closely on hand.
"Vold D.C. just gazed at Jason in anger. "You maritime malcontents guard your manhood far too fiercely! Maybe I should make a "Medea and the Argonauts" movie instead!
"You better not!" Jason retorted.
And so, the first trial was finished in an instant. With a victory over the 'lion', Jason and Hercules departed on good terms with Asclepius and left for the next. Now they moved onto the next trial.
The Lernean Hydra.
Where in life, Hercules faced the evil, snakelike Hydra had nine heads. If one got hurt, two would grow in its place. But Hercules quickly sliced off the heads, while his charioteer, Iolaus, sealed the wounds with a torch. Hercules made his arrows poisonous by dipping them in the Hydra's blood.
All while saving the girl.
Now in a forest, Jason boldly caught sight of a woman and quickly went to her with Hercules just behind him.
"Faint not, beautiful maiden!" Jason grinned as he ran uphill. "I shall carry you off to safety while mighty Hercules evisticates this unsightly-!"
In a second, Hercules jumped in and tanked numerous blows before they hit Jason protecting him.
"Well that got ugly fast!" Ritsuka commented. "Is the hydra attacking already."
"It can't be." Mash states. "That attack wasn't from a hydra."
"It was something else entirely." Da Vinci just wondered what it was though.
"Th-those razor-sharp blades could have dismembered me with ease!" Jason cried out, taking a peek from behind Hercules. "Why are you attacking us? We're trying to rescue you!"
It then showed who they were trying to save. An unknown girl who was indeed rather charming. Wearing an outfit that revealed quite the amount of skin with red and and green designs. Having lavish good eyes and a charming bod to boot. Too bad it was ruined when Jason and Hercules saw she was riding a freaking skull for a lift.
"From what exactly?" Salome the Servant asked our heroes. "Surely you don't mean to separate me from my beloved pet?"
"That has to be a joke? Right bro?" The female Master then looked at her brother. "...Really." And saw how he, and a few other males were staring quite deliciously at the Servant she has never seen before.
"..." With Mash herself puffing her cheeks. Then, she punched her stupid brother who was surprised by the attack.
"M-mash!" He then said turning red, while she just looked away huffing. "W-wait! What's wrong!?"
"Nothing." Mash then mumbled, "Stupid senpai."
Ha. her brother truly didn't know a girl's heart.
"That's a hydra!" Jason shouted out at her. "A man-eating swamp giant whose venom can even kill demigods. You can't have that as a pet!"
"But if that sanctimonious skank Saint Martha can have a scaly sidekick, then a princess like me should be able to own one, too!" It was then a glint of mischief came into the Servant's eyes. Eyes Hercules and Jason didn't like.
"Granted, it's ugly, but when I get the urge to decapitate someone, I can cut off a hydra head and a new one will take its place." Her eyes became crazy as she continued speaking. "If I need poison in a pinch, I can cut off a head for some venom. If the hydra gets too noisy, I can cut off its head to shut it up."
She then quivered as she thought of the other things she could do. "And if the hydra gets hungry, I can just chop off one of its heads and feed it to its other heads. Because they always grow back." Jasona and Hercules took a step back. "We're perfect for each other. Kismet! He'll even tell you himself. Say "Hi" John Jr. Let these nice hobos know how happy you are."
Hercules and Jason then turned to the legendary hydra, who then stared at the two of them. Then, by what could only be called a miracle, the hydra spoke.
"Please...help...us…" With the beast wanting its misery to end.
Many male Servants including Ritsuka decided that if they ever summoned this girl...they won't get involved with her. Because if she could make a Hydra be like that, then clearly she's more dangerous than they realized.
Hercules and Jason just watched this miserable beast. Baffled that the legendary Hydra was reduced to this. Then, Jason spoke up. "Hercules, are we...are we going to have to SAVE the hydra FROM the damsel in distress?"
With a grunt, Hercules said yes.
And so our heroes…'saved' the miserable hydra by killing it. Granted, they had to run from the Servant who was upset, but they survived.
Now they were on to their next trial.
The Cerynian Hyde.
The goddess Artemis loved and protected this stubborn little deer, which had gold horns. Hercules found it a challenge to capture the delicate hind without hurting it (and making Artemis angry). After following the hind for an entire year, he safely carried it away.
Now once more with Jason, the two would find this beast and maybe capture it a little quicker compared to the one year. So first, they met the lady herself, Artemis.
"Your permission to hunt the Cerynian Hind is much appreciated, Goddess Artemis." Jason told the Goddess Artemis. "Rest assured, this boon will benefit us all."
Artemis giggled. "How could I say no to one of my most favorite half-brothers and his little pal? The glory's yours so long as you don't hurt the hind."
"Looks like we're getting a normal challenge this time." Billy commented while eating some chicken. "Guess it's alright."
"I wonder how Hercules and Jason will capture the hind?" Ritsuka looked forward to the method.
"I guess it would be interesting to see how Hercules does so." Atalanta says.
"And I truly hope that this ritual of yours succeeds, Jason." Artemis says with her eyes closed. "Hercules has been on the back foot since we clashed at Okeanos." Died by the Ark. Then hasn't really done much ever since.
Orion then came out and patted Hercules on the foot. "Sorry about getting you blown up by that greedy, green geezer's magic box, big guy." Hercules sniffled a bit.
That Ark hurt a hell lot.
Those who were part of that adventure flinched. Thinking about it, getting blown up probably did hurt like hell.
"There, there." Artemis told them. "You can't possibly DO WORSE. Cheer up. Would you two like a lollipop? I'll even let you choose the color."
"We're grown Greek men!" Jason shouted while crossing his arms. "Of course we get to choose the color!"
"Valor with just the right smidge of hubris. There might be hope for you yet" Artemis smiled.
Atalanta glared angrily at Jason and Hercules. These two had such audicy...how dare they get lollipops from Artemis yet not her!?
Medea looked at Atalanta's anger and just sighed.
As Artemis took the two away, she then said, "Especially since these other hunters are here to assist you."
There it then showed two men who would also be helping out. It was none other than Fionn and Diarmuid, the latter saying, "Salutations, Argonauts."
'I don't know what it is,' Jason thought. 'but there's something about this fellow that I immediately trust.' It was then Jason decided to do some explaining of what he and Hercules were trying to do. Giving an overall explanation with the end saying, "...completing labor "charges" this fBay Grail we possess. Once it's full, it should give Hercules the power he justly deserves."
"Fascinating." Fionn miled at the two. "A worthy quest to be sure. You have my word as a fellow adventure" the Knights of Fianna will aid in your triumph."
"Careful Fionn." Jason warned his fellow blonde. "I might just geas you to make it official. That's, uh, that's how it's done in Ireland, right?" He looked at Hercules who shrugged, with Jason doing the same. He then decided to ask a question that's been bothering him. "But before we begin the hunt, I must ask you why you're pursuing the hind. Artemis wouldn't allow youtube hurt, eat, or poach the beast."
Not unless you wished for her divine wrath.
"Hey yeah, why are they doing it?" Guadako realized that it made no sense. I mean, she knew that Artemis could be a real nightmare if angered. So what purpose would doing this bring for them?
"Maybe for, uh, sport." Her brother gave his own answer.
"We'll find out soon enough I suppose." Mash told the two.
"Indeed." Artoria says. "Such honorable warriors must have a perfect reason in doing so."
"Fionn just smiled. "I'm hoping to shag it."
In a instant both Jason and Hercules uttered words that weren't even words and just a mash of letters in utter shock.
"!Hjsxgvfvjsd!" Ritsuka was looking green.
His sister then summoned a small bag, and a bulching sound was heard.
Mash also looked a bit green, though it wasn't limited to just her. Lots of the Servants inside looked grossed out and agreed with Jason.
"That is...that is...that is…?" Artoria was just unable to say anything with Emiya quickly making a salad to calm his nerves.
"Sheesh." Orion said to our two heroes. "Here really turned you guys into a pair of prudes, didn't she?"
"Please understand." Fionn's ally Diarmuid told them. "Lord Fionn's first wife, Sadhbh, was a woman who'd been magicked into the form of a deer. Thus, there is precedent for believing that this Cerynian Hind is likewise a luscious lass in disguise."
"That...has been known to happen." Chiron admits.
"Like those princess tails kids are told from their parents." Astolfo chuckled.
"But...it has antlers." Jason pointed out.
"Yikes." EMIYA Archer says.
"Aheh, yes." Fionn didn't look too discouraged while blushing a bit. "Will it be a Nero or Astolfo situation? I won't know for sure until I get my lips around its snout to break the spell."
"Assuming there's a spell TO break." Jason looked away in disgust. "Snog it as hard as you want after you help us capture it. We won't stick around to watch." Hercules then spoke and grunted. Sighing, Jason turned back to the knights. "All right. Hercules is going to stick around and watch for a bit. Out of purely academic curiosity, you understand."
"Skip! Skip! Skip!" Ristuka didn't want to see what might happen next at all.
It was a strange day, but eventually Hercules, Jason, and friends captured the hind.
"Yes!" Riysuka cheered with many feeling the same.
And after...watching….the failure of the supposed transformation, the two moved on to the fourth trial.
The Erymanthian Boar
The people of Mount Erymanthus lived in fear of this deadly animal. Hercules chased the wild boar up the mountain and into a snowdrift. He then took it in a net and brought it to King Eurystheus, who was so frightened of the beast that he hid in a huge bronze jar.
At the end, he let the beast live...Now it reveals that the boar was actually alive all this time. And ready for what could be considered round 2.
With a roar Hercules attacked what appears to be an end of a battle. The boar growled as it got hit the final time. Now unable to do anything.
"They beat it that quick?" Achilles raised a brow. "How?"
It then showed Jason smiling as Hercules jumped to his side with Atalanta right next to him, putting away her bow and arrow. The leader of the two grinned as he gave himself a pat on his own back. "Well struck, Argonauts! It looks like "Operation: Gang Up on the Erymanthian Boar for an Easy Win" is an unimpeachable succe-!"
Before Jason could continue on, it then showed the boar blowing up...to reveal a mechanical boar instead.
"A machine?" Atalanta said, confused.
The machine then fell apart to reveal...Atalanta herself! Wearing a fur-like bikini with a boar head shoulder and dark fur.
"An eviler Atalanta!?" Jason cried out.
"Hey!" She growled at Jason.
Then the (Eviler?) Atalanta blew up as well. Finally showing none other than...a small and old little boar. The Argonauts stared at the old boar who glared at them and said, "Prepare to die scumbags!"
"...That's the boar?" Ritsuka couldn't believe it.
"In legend, it is said that Hercules may have left it to live." Chiron told the Master and those around them. "So I can assume the boar continued living...though…"
"Seems the beast got too old." Beowulf chuckled. "Unless it's a lifeform that can constantly grow, no creature can avoid their bones getting weaker, muscles sagging, and senses lowering." Not even he could withstand that. It's how he ended up dying against the dragon, as he was too old.
"Age really does take away power." Or at the least, to certain beings as Mash could think of.
"It is I, the Erymanthian Boar, summoned by your knockoff Holy Ashtray!" The (former) great boar told his enemy Hercules. Having simply been living his retired life until the fBay grail called him and he decided to 'upgrade' himself to battle Hercules. "I've been waiting millennium for this rematch, Hercules."
The small old boar then walked closer with eyes of vengeance. Still upset he lost all those years ago, and did his best to train even during retirement. "You might have destroyed my robotic shell and my sexy catgirl fursuit, but you'll never break my spirit! Perish with your pals!"
Soon, the boar then began attacking Hercules. Sadly, due to age its attacks couldn't do much. The old boar shouting, "Jab! Uppercut! Roundhouse! Leg Lariat! Elbow Drop! Crotch Shot! Crotch Shot! Crotch Shot!"
The fight of the century folks.
"I feel bad for this boar. Even Twyrth was much stronger." Artoria said, feeling pity.
"Nothing worse than training only to be old and unable to properly fight." Grendel felt sympathy for the boar.
"This is just embarrassing." Atalanta agreed.
"Well, at least they can win now." Ritsuka says.
"Yeah." His sister nodded. "I mean, what could ruin this moment?"
Jason looked unimpressed by this battle and said, "You know how the Queen of Sheba's little boxing glove hamsters pack a huge wallop? This isn't like that."
Hercules coughed in agreement.
"Just toss it in the sack, Hercules." Atalanta told her Argonaut ally, feeling embarrassed that this is the legendary boar they were facing. Feeling bad for it. "The sooner you do, the sooner we can get this over...with...what is that?"
There the three then saw three little piglets that were tearing up.
"D-don't give up grandpa. You've worked so hard. You've trained so much." All three said. "WE BELIEVE IN YOU!"
That made the grandpa fight harder-even if it was useless.
As for the Argonauts, well, this was a problem.
"They better not hurt those poor boars feelings!" Nero said, raising her sword.
"My, my, what a situation." Tamano giggled.
"This is unexpected." Da Vinci watches on. "I wonder how Jason will get out of this mess."
"Errr, Argonauts. Any ideas as to how we can escape this potentially apocalyptic PR disaster?" Jason asked nervously.
"We could challenge them all to a footrace!" Atalanta then cheered happily with her suggested idea.
"Why is that your solution to every problem!?" Jason shouted.
"Because it's a good idea." Atalanta proudly said, puffing her chest while the Fujimaru twins just sweatdropped.
Another challenge done, even if rather anti-climatic.
They 'beat' the boar in a footrace, saving the Argonauts reputation. The little boars cheering their grandpa up for a job well done, Atalanta staying to play with them while giving Hercules and Jason good luck on their next challenge. And they'll need it to. For their next challenge was possibly the most filthy.
The Augean Stables
For here, like Hercules' old story they must clean the stables that have not been cleaned for thirty years. All in a single day too. Man that sucked! Now the two met with the so-called king of this land.
Especially when the ones bossing them around were these two.
"It's about time you got here." Artoria told the duo with her Alter counterpart. Both glaring at them behind their masks while sitting on their mounts and wielding their spears. "The odor's gotten so putrid that not even our enchanted helmets can protect us from it anymore."
"You Romans and your so-called "indoor plumbing" have failed us. Failed our mounts, especially. Remedy this at once."
Artoria stopped eating. Then turned slightly red as she felt rather ashamed by these duo versions of herself. EMIYA Archer chuckling a bit with Mordred taking pictures of both her 'fathers' on screen.
"Hm." Nero frowned. "How dare she mock our plumbing methods."
"Jeeze, I wonder why." Tamano sneered at her. Promoting the two to start bickering.
"We're, ah, Greek actually." Jason tried telling them.
Both Artorias weren't having it. "Enough of your Mediterrian Double Speak! Cleanse this quagmire or suffer our joint angelic wrath!"
It then showed ruined buildings. Where from behind two familiar figures came out.
"C'est la fin, mes amis!" Marie Antonitte yelled out in French. "The accumulated magical refuse of our horses has attained sentience and is out pour la revanche!"
"It devoured her crystal steed! It devoured Bucephalus!" Iskandor added. "Now, it's coming for the rest of us!"
It then showed an area devoid of life, where from it a voice came out. "HEROES! I am the septic screams you cannot silence! The darkness that devours light! The festering finality of the grave!" There a dark shadow came revealing an enemy Hercules certainly never faced in life.
For Spiriton Much has come.
"I am your creation! A beast squelched into being by your neglect and excess! The Foul Heir of all your kingdoms. Now...DIE!"
Hercules just stared, unsure what to think of.
"Euch!" Jason just found it gross. "It's covered in corn and tissue shreds!"
"Certainly an unappealing foe." Merling laughed. "Not all enemies heroes face are nice and clean."
"You're telling me." Billy met more than a few dirty crooks and cops.
"Definitely." Guadako still recalled how those Demonic Beasts smelled. Yuck!
"Poor Hercules." Da Vinci felt sorry those two were going to have to fight such a dirty beast.
So after getting their hands dirty...literally, the two once more won against the Spiriton Much. Somehow. Soon they went to the sixth trial.
The Stymphalian Birds.
These murderous birds lived around Lake Stymphalos. Their claws and beaks were sharp as metal and their feathers flew like darts. Hercules scared them out of their nests with a rattle and then killed them with the poison arrows he had made from the Hydra's blood.
Now, due to the fBay Grail, instead it was Circe who turned regular Servants into giant bird man-animals and flying above a lake.
"My niece has such an annoying taste in men!" Circe shouted as she flew in the air with her transformed beasts. "The sky is my domain! You can't be up here! It's impossible!"
It then reveals Jason...who is actually flying! "Blessed by Hera's vaguely defined godly powers, this suit of golden armor allows me to fly for brief periods of time!"
"Wait," Mash turned to Atalanta and both Medea's. "He can do that?"
"Impossible!" Atalanta argued. "I never seen him do that!"
"Yeah!" Medea (Lily) nodded. "I never saw him fly before."
"That's right...although…" Medea then felt realization. "How did he always find a way to escape trouble. Like that time in the islands, where he was ahead of us yet wasn't a good runner."
"And...the times he's always able to get on top of a cliff before us." Medea (Lily) also said.
"Now that I think of it," Chiron joined in. "I did sense some power in his armor, but never knew what it was for."
"...That little…" Looks like Atalanta planned on interrogating Jason if he was ever summoned.
As Circe heard Jason's reason, she then narrowed her eyes. "So what's HIS excuse!?"
It then showed a roaring Hercules….who was also in the air!
"What!" Ritsuka says!
"Okay, how!?" Jason made sense, but she's certain Hercules can't fly.
"That looks crazy." Achilles points out.
"Like Circe said, what's his reason?" Mordred wanted to know.
Jason smugly smiles. "Hercules keeps himself aloft by sheer force of rage alone."
"...that better not be true."
"Nah, that would be silly." Jason chuckles. "He just stomps in the air so hard and fast that he kind of hovers."
"You call that a less silly way to fly!?" Circe shouts at them.
"Hey, as long as it works!" Jason smiles.
"This is stupid." Chloe states.
"Indeed, it appears rather idiotic." Miyu nods.
"Awesome." Illya just says with both her 'sister' and friend just looking at her, then shaking their heads.
Meanwhile…
It then shows a ship below, with both Blackbeard and Francis Drake being with one another together.
"Hell yeah!" Blackbeard shouts before he gets knocked out again by Achilles.
Blackbeard and Drake then looked up and saw what was above them, and came to a realization.
"Hax! My eyes are to LIT...with sunburn...to tell if that flying , green, skinny dude is Peter Pan or not." Blackbeard pointed out to Drake.
"Blow him up anyway!" Drake tells Blackbeard. Knowing of the fairy tale of Peter Pan and didn't like it. "I'm not going to let some child-snatching freak steal our grog or eat our hands! FIRE!"
An explosion then came overhead enveloping Circe and all her minions. With Jason and Hercules just barely escaping it with the former shouting, "Hercules! I think you punched the sky too hard!"
So another disappointing battle ends, with the two not even fighting as the explosion offed the birds. Still, progress was made, and the duo resumed their trip. This time, facing another challenge.
The Cretan Bull.
This savage bull, kept by King Minos of Crete, was said to be insane and breathe fire. Hercules wrestled the mad beast to the ground and brought it back to King Eurystheus. Unfortunately, the king set it free, and it roamed Greece, causing terror wherever it went.
Luckily, there was no king to do that last part.
Now Hercules and Jason faced the massive….Gungala!
"Oh my gosh!" Ritsuka hugged Mash with his sister doing the same. The two not noticing Mash blushing.
"It looks hardcore!" Guadako fearfully said.
"Truly a magnificent beast to slay." Artoria thought.
"Man, I wish I could fight it!" Mordred had a battle crazed grin.
"Impressive indeed." Beowulf laughed.
"A great challenge to face." Scathach also grinned. Her spear in her hand. "I wish I was in their place now."
"Yeah." Her student Cu nodded.
With one hit Hercules then knocked the bull down. The monster collapsing just like that.
All the battle maniacs instantly thought one thing.
'The f&(k!?'
Hercules just looked plain confused at how easy this was.
"Something's wrong." Jason also thought at the same time. "The fBay Grail isn't charging. Ishtar, what kind of Grand Battle was that? The Bull went down in one hit!"
'That explains it.' The fighters then realized.
"That was only the opening node, Goongamesh & Enkidumb." Ishtar, in a fancy pair of glasses and a shining aura tauntingly said to the duo. "To complete your labor, you'll have to finish the entire Quest."
"Goonga-?" Jason then gasped. "Don't compare us to those proto punks. We're an entirely original concept!"
"A blonde loudmouth king and his long-haired thug who does most of the actual work?" Ishtar then stated to them.
"She does make a point." Artoria said, never realizing that while few, Jason and Hercules were somewhat similar to the duo she knew.
"Why are we talking about King Arthur all of a sudden?"
Artoria then frowned.
"Look, I like you guys." Ishtar told them. "That's why the first node was free. But if you want to play the others, you'll have to pay a small price."
"That doesn't sound so bad." Ritsuka thought.
"Seems reasonable." Jason agreed. "How many phases are there?"
"A thousand." Ishtar bluntly said. "Million QP a pop. Also, there are timegates."
Gilgamesh and Enkidu were right. Ishtar really is a demon!
"Price! Small! A BILLION QP TOTAL! Timegates! That! How!?" Jason was nearly losing it.
"You gotta pay to slay, champ. That's my motto." Ishtar laughed.
'She's too much like Rin.' EMIYA Archer thought fearfully.
"Hmmm." Jason then just went. He then gave his answer. "Fair enough."
"He has something planned." Chiron said.
"I can already smell a plan coming from him." Atalanta agreed.
"Oh yes indeed." Medea was with those two.
"Our hubby has a trick!" Medea (Lily) cheered.
"Wait, really?" Guadako asked.
"It's Jason." Circe says. "If there's one thing I know about my niece's ex-husband, is that he's a master planner who's one-no-multiple steps ahead of the enemy."
"Yeah." Orion jumped. "Can't wait to see this."
Now Hercules was confused. Jason was actually agreeing? What was his friend up to?
"Save your strength for the 999 battles to come, Hercules. We can afford to pay this toll. It's such a shame though."
"Here it comes." Atalanta told the Fujimaru twins.
Jason then looked sad. "I really wanted to challenge Gungalanna myself, but we might need out OTHER one billion QP later in our journey. How sad." Jason mused.
"O-other BILLION QP!?" Ishtar began sweating.
The Fujimaru twins deadpanned. That look...it was like when they offered her Gilgamesh's percentage of the treasury back in Babylonia.
"Y-you guys have TWO BILLION QP in your pockets!?" Ishtar continued nervously.
"We recently did some very dirty stable for some royals and were rewarded in a manner almost as obscene as the task itself." Jason told Ishtar. "It's a pithy sum compared to the riches a deity as yourself no doubt possesses, but that is why we must be frugal with it."
If Gilgamesh was here, he would be laughing so hard now and upgrade Jason's status from mongrel to God Fooler.
"G-gamble a stamp, Jason." Ishtar then began talking quickly. "It's not often that a Greek hero gets a chance to combat a Babylonian Divine Beast."
"Gamble?" Jason question. "I don't see why we should. Your timegate node system is so efficient, safe, and ethical."
"You're too kind." Ishtar was now staring at what might be Jason and Hercules 'pockets'. "but that could take a while and Hercules still has so many labors left to accomplish." Ishtar then snapped her fingers. "I got it! An old-fashioned bet between gods and men."
She then lowered herself a bit closer, a smile on her lips. "Put down that tw-wew-two billion QP on the table, and Gugalanna will fight you at his full strength in an all-or-nothing melee."
"Are you certain?" Jason asked. "We Argonauts would hate to compromise the integrity of this challenge."
"It's MY idea isn't it?" Ishtar told him. "You'll get the complete experience with no strings attached if you just say yes. So, do we have a deal?"
"How can I refuse such a generous opportunity?" Jason smiled. "Deal. What say you, Hercules?"
Hercules nods in agreement.
"Wonderful!" Ishtar began floating up in the air, her Divine Beast rising. "It's a pleasure doing business with a pair of such dashing, courageous-!"
In a flash of light and Gugalanna now at full power, Ishtar was back in her attire and more powerful than ever yelling out the last bit. "MORONS!"
Gugalanna agreed as it rose fully.
"Saw it coming?" Guadako asked her brother.
"Totally." He said.
The two clapped hands.
"Aw, did I forget to mention that fighting Gugalanna at full strength means fighting me too? How careless of me!" Ishtar smirked at them in a mocking manner.
"And in three, two, one," Medea began counting down while Medea (Lily) made plans to hurt Ishtar's financials for mocking her hubby.
"Not as careless as you, though! Ha!" Ishtar continued. "You sailor schmucks let your greed blind you! This is going to be the easiest money I ever-!"
"Welcome to Kur, wayward soul." Ereshkigal said to the latest deceased soul to come into her home. "I hope you enjoy your-oh-sister! What're you doing down here?"
"DAMN IT!" Ishtar roared.
Now many Servants could smile at that.
"It appears it was her greed that blinded her." Artoria commented while eating some pork.
"She underestimated Hercules and Jason combined." EMIYA Archer nodded. "Figured they were easy pickings."
"That's my hubby!" Medea (Lily) cheered while Medea turned slightly red.
"Guess once more we see mortals and demigods trick gods. Hehe. Sweet." Cu chuckled.
So with the defeat of the Goddess, Hercules and Jason easily continued on.
Onward they moved on to Hercules next labor. This one being the capture of special horses.
The Horses of Diomedes
King Diomedes, leader of the Bistones, fed his bloodthirsty horses on human flesh. Hercules and his men fought and killed King Diomedes and fed the king to his horses. This made the horses tame, so that Hercules was able to lead them to King Eurystheus.
The fBay Grail didn't summon the king, but it did summon some horses.
"Uh oh!" Red Hare laughed as he ran in the beautiful meadow. "Looks like someone could use a LUBE UP!"
"Ooooooo!" Careful!" Xiang Yu chuckled as he ran behind Red Hare. "You almost got baby oil in my eye. Although some did get in my mouth. Mmmmm. Tasty!"
"Teehee!" Chiron ran with his fellow 'horses'. "Catch us, my students! Catch us!"
Behind showed both Hercules and Jason just staring at the scene.
Their silence said a thousand words.
"Hahahhahahahha!" The voice laughed with many Servants doing their best not to laugh at Chiron's fate along the others, and a few feeling sorry for the man.
"Phaha!" Ritsuka failed to keep himself from laughing.
"Poor man." His sister just felt sorry."
"..." Chiron considered killing himself.
As the two heroes watched, Jason decided to speak. "The gods have forsaken this land."
Hercules was in agreement with that statement. However he also felt this was Jason's fBay Grail's fault for doing this.
"Throwing blame around isn't going to restore Master Chiron's senses any faster. Let's snatch him up and end this." Jason told Hercules. "Just don't make eye contact. If you lock gazes with them during, either look away or kill yourself. There are some things a hero can't live with."
"Thank you Jason. Thank you." Chiron said while doing his best not to look at his other self. If anything, he'd make certain this won't happen to him.
Eventually our duo would stop and capture the 'horses'. Where they would grab them-while not looking them in the eyes-and then take them away. Jason gives Chiron a potion that will later restore his senses (hopefully), and then the duo leave.
Now it was time for the next challenge.
The Amazonian Girdle
Here, Hercules went to the land of the Amazons, where the queen welcomed him and agreed to give him her girdle for Eurystheus's daughter. But Hera spread the rumor that Hercules came as an enemy. In the end he had to conquer the Amazons and steal the golden belt.
Also killing the Queen of the Amazons Hippolyta, sister to Penthesilea.
"Thank goodness she isn't here." Guadako siad, realizing that chaos would surely happen if she was with them.
"Oh yeah." Her brother agreed.
Now Hercules and Jason have arrived, with Hercules having grown stronger. It would appear doing these labors were actually working after all, evidenced by his growing power.
"Better write this down." Da Vinci figured this could be useful information.
Soon, our duo came to the land of Amazons, with Jason smiling.
"Hoho! An easy labor at last." He commented. "Rest a moment, Hercules. I'll take point on this one." Especially since Hera wasn't here to spread lies about his buddy.
It then shows Penthesilea with an army of Amazons with her. "Opinions." She said.
Instantly Jason jumped behind Hercules while shouting, "It's like an entire nation of Medeas!"
"Hey!" Medea growled. Circe just chuckling.
After some kind of event, Hercules and Jason were now running as fast as they could away from the amazons. Here, Hercules grunted to see if Jason did his job.
"Yes, I have the stupid girlde! Now swim, damn you! SWIM!"
Up above, Penthesilea watched as Hercules and Jason were escaping her amazons. Jumping into a river and swimming away. Looking upset.
"There they go. Breaststroking through piranha shoals like suicidal salmon people." She said. "Underhanded as it was, their method of purloining the girdle was rather inspired. Hercules attack made for a solid distraction…" She then frowned recalling what happened next. "...while the other one snuck into my room to use my Amazones Prime account to have the belt expressed-delivered to them!"
"What a man!" Medea (Lily) had stars in her eyes.
"I like the method." Billy smirked with approval of the duo's method.
"Swimming with piranhas...sweet!" Achilles gave a thumbs up.
"Man among men alright." Beowulf whistled.
"Uh...men." Atalanta rolled her eyes.
"As it was with Troy...as it was with my sister, my rage has cost me dearly." Penthesilea sadly said. "Perhaps the only way to break this hellish cycle of wrath and ruin...is to let those boys go."
Silence reigned for at least a minute.
"Then again…" In a few minutes she gathered her army and was roaring very loudly while pointing at our swimming heroes. "AFTER THEM! GOUGE OUT THERE GONADS!"
Achilles shivered. Glad he wasn't those guys.
"Woman." Beowulf rolled his eyes.
So after narrowly escaping the army of amazons and the fish, Jason and Hercules completed this trial without a second to waste. The girdle was sent to their home, completing this labor. Now they moved onto the next.
The Cattle of Geryon
Geryon, a winged monster with three human bodies, had a herd of beautiful red cattle. He guarded his prized herd with the help of a giant and a vicious two-headed dog. Hercules killed Geryon, the giant, and the dog and brought the cattle to King Eurystheus.
Currently they were in a cave, ready to face this challenge. Jason in particular, a bit lost. As he walked, he then bumped into something.
"Ow! Hercule!" He said while trying to find his way out of this cave. "Did your torch also get snuffed out? I thought you'd be further ahead of me than this." He then grabbed Hercules hand as the two continued onward. "You must've gotten turned around. Here, hold my hand so you won't get lost."
The two then kept on walking, feeling their way around. Only hitting a few bumps in the dirt. "I can feel the cave sloping upwards. The exit must be close. Hey! Stop dragging your axe on the ground. You'll dull it." The two then saw a light just up ahead. "I can see daylight! And there's someone standing at the entrance of the cave. Could it be our first foe?"
Jason kept walking until finally, they exited together. Where standing in front of him was...Hercules?
"Hercule!?" Jason shouted shocked. "But if you're out here, then whose hand am I holding?" He then turned around...and saw numerous 'cattle' Berserkers behind him. All with big bad sharp objects.
The Geroyon Cattle then growled. "Grrrrrrrrrrrrr…."
"Help me." Jason whispered with Hercules sighing, ready to help out.
Suddenly, time paused with everything going grey, stopping before Jason was attacked.
"Hm, what's happening here?" Circe asked.
"Must be a commercial." Merlin chuckled.
"Yeah right. Probably something else." Chloe herself thought.
It then showed Eric the 'cattle', who began speaking. "Testing. Testing. Hello? Sorry to interrupt. I just have a few words I'd like to say before we proceed."
"What do you think he wants?" Ritsuka asked his sister who shrugged.
"Just pay attention."
"Gunnhild and I would like to thank Ms. Sessyoin and Ms. Sheba for passing on this support role so others could apply for it." Eric told the audience. "Old understudies like me don't get to be on stage much, so...um, I'll be sure to do my best. You won't regret this, everyone." He then smiled, glad to be of use. "Anyway, back to work. I'm going to rip out this unfaithful giggilo's cheekbones through his eye sockets. Transmission over."
Ignoring that terrifying line at the end...both Fujimaru Twins decided maybe they should spend more time with the low-grade Servants. At the very least, give them a little more love.
After saving Jason from being beaten, Hercules and Jason moved on to the next challenge, where they entered a special place. Where here they went to capture a simple fruit.
The Golden Apples
Atalanta clicked her tongue while Medea (Lily) patted her back. The female cat girl was still upset by those delicious wretched apples and what they did to her.
The Hesperides were nymphs. In their garden grew golden apples protected by Ladon, a dragon with a hundred heads. Hercules struck a bargain with Atlas, who held up the earth. Hercules shouldered the earth while Atlas, the nymphs' father, fetched the apples.
It was a difficult task. However, at last things were different.
"I might actually cry." Jason sniffled as he held the Golden Apples in his hands. "The Golden Apples right in our hands. No battles or prattles. Simple success. Thank you, Sion."
"After all the crap those two went through, I can't blame them for thinking this." Circe says.
"Hell yeah. Half those battles weren't even real battles." Cu himself said.
"Some were just plain weird." Gawain added.
"Maybe a tad strange." Mash said her own thoughts.
"Uh-hu." The Fujimaru Twins agreed.
"No sweat." The purple dressed girl Sion said. Ally of Chaldea. " My predecessor figured out how to make those out of regular apples ages ago. That's the Atlas Institute for 'ya!"
Hercules then whispered something to Jason who laughed a bit. "Hrrkhaha! Hercules, stop. Be nice!"
"What's got you two giggling so hard?" Sion asked. "Nothing too dirty I hope."
"Heaven's no." Jason told her. "It's just a juvenile, little inside joke. Quite lowbrow, really. I'm embarrassed that I even laughed."
"An inside joke between infamous Greek heroes?" Sion closed one eye, smiling. " Now you've got me intrigued. Come on. Share it. Knowledge is power, ya know?"
"Have it your way." Jason relented. "Hercules simply told me that while you named your organization after him, you don't look like Atlas in the least."
Sion looked shocked and turned slightly red. "Th-this is the uniform of the Atlas Institution, and alchemy lab that has been unlocking the secrets of existence for centuries!"
"Very nice." Jason coyly said. "But Hercules has met the ACTUAL Atlas and as my friend put it, the titan did not dress like a-haha-a "preppy grape"."
"This...probably won't end well." Mash says.
"Oh yeah, it won't." Da Vinci was with Mash on this.
"..." Sion looked none to pleased by the joke, and just shut her eyes in frustration.
"WARNING! WARNING! INTRUDERS DETECTED! INTRUDERS DETECTED!" The comm system of the institute then activated.
Hercules looked around in shock as the lights flashed.
"Calamity!" Sion shouted. "How very inexplicable, inscrutable, and unforeseen!" Suddenly numerous mass-holographic systems began showing up ready to fight the intruders. "Ladon, the Anti-Phantasmal Atlas Defense System, has activated! I have no idea how this could've happened!"
"Like hell you don't, you resentful, four-eyed, watermelon nerd!" Jason shouted at her as he pulled out his sword as he and Hercules got ready for a fight.
"Talk about a scorned woman." Ritsuka said, a bit scared.
"Well, they shouldn't have made fun of her." Guadako sided with Sion.
"I'm with her as well." Atalanta joined the 'Sion' side.
"Same here." Though in Medea's case, it was really because she didn't like Jason.
After having a crazed battle and escaping, at long last came the final trial.
Cerberus.
Hercules was ordered to capture Cerberus, the three-headed guard dog of the underworld, without using weapons. Hercules wrestled down the dog's wild heads, and it agreed to go with him to King Eurystheus. Cerberus was soon returned unharmed to the underworld.
Of course the fBay Grail was incapable of actually bringing back Hades and Cerberus from the Reverse Side of the world, and as such found replacements for them.
Instead choose Scathach and Skadi.
Hercules battling Scathach, aka, 'Hades', and winning by a draw. At that, 'Hades' stopped and looked at Hercules with pride.
"Incredible!" 'Hades' told Hercule. "Hercules, you and your crony have truly earned the right to walk our dog!"
It then shows the hound of the underworld...multiple Cu's aside from Caster. "Please make sure to discipline Cerebus if he misbehaves!"
"..." Cu just covered his face with both hands with his teacher showing no signs of care.
EMIYA Archer just chuckled. "My. What a dog."
"Wanna go at it!" Cu shouted at EMIYA Archer.
"Down boy." Scathach then told him.
"Wha-but-but teacher?"
"I said down, boy." Scathach told him, the poor Lancer complying while muttering a bit. Glaring at EMIYA Archer wh still chuckled.
Hercules sighed, as he just looked at the sight.
"M'kay. We expected as much." Jason says, not surprised by this turn of events at all. "Very par for the course. We'll make sure to return him here safely, "Hades"."
Then Skadi, aka 'Persephone', the wife of Hades spoke.
Wife?
Cu looked at his teacher, with Fergus then speaking. "Oh. You mentioned strong men. But does that include strong wom-"
Fergus was then hit by her spear, shutting him up. Cu looked away as she gave a look asking if he wanted to risk it. He didn't.
"No need to go through all that bother, Argonauts. Just feed him some grapes or chocolates when you're finished."
"If that's too expensive, raisins and onions will work just as well." 'Hades' told them.
"If those three are supposed to be dogs, won't eating those things sorta of...kill them?" Jason decided to ask.
"Where exactly do you think he'll go when that happens?" 'Persephone' told Jason.
"Right." Jason shook his head.
Hercules didn't get it. But what he questioned further was something else. Particularly, the missing 'dog'.
"I noticed that, too." Jason agreed. "'Cerebus', isn't there a wizard version of you? What happened to that fellow?"
"We ate him." 'Cerebus' grinned.
"...Yeah, I can see that happening." Cu admits.
"In any case, it seems we're at the end." The voice told the cast, who all felt a little sad. Because while it was strange, weird, a bit anticlimactic, and certainly crazy, this was indeed an interesting tale featuring both Hercules and even Jason.
"So this is it huh." Billy chuckled. "Near the end."
"I wonder how this will turn out." Ritsuka excitedly said. "I mean, Hercules is killer strong now."
"Heck yeah he is!" Guadako agreed. "Let's continue to see the rest!"
This was it, the final end.
After twelve crazy adventures, it has all led to this.
"It's done, Hercules!" Jason told his friend, holding the fBay Grail. "The fBay Grail is finally filled to capacity! It's time to bask in the magnificence of our well-deserved reward!"
Hercules roared in agreement!
"Zounds! That's bright!" Jason yelled as the fBay Grail lit up, glowing. It then began making a circle full of rainbows. "Look at all the pretty colors! I think this fake Grail might be even better than the real one we had in Okeanos!"
A shadowy figure then came, trying to take the fBay Grail. Too bad Jason saw it. "Hey you! Scram! Get your own wish-granting party mug!"
Hercules kicked the shadow away, as the fBay Grail began glowing gold!
"Hold me, Hercules!" Jason shouted as he hugged the big man. The two watch their reward about to come. "It's everything we've hoped for! Everything we've dreamed of! It's...It's-!"
Then from the fBay Grail...a single Quartz fell to the ground.
...Nothing more.
"..." Merlin looked at the notes of the fBay Grail he was making...then silently tore them apart. For once feeling disappointed in his own work.
Just as everybody else looked at the scene with disappointment as well.
"One. Saint. Quartz." Jason slowly said. Then began growing angry as memories of what they went through came to mind. "We crawled through all that dung, dong, and darkness for a measly SINGLE Saint Quartz!?" He then fell to his knees with his hands thrown in the air and roared, "RAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGH!"
Then pockets the Saint Quartz.
"Wow…" Atalanta blinked. "I...I actually feel sorry for Jason."
"All of that...for nothing." Mash felt sorry for the two.
"Poor hubby." Medea (Lily) lowered her head.
""Even I feel that was too much." Medea was with her younger counterpart on this one.
"Sucks for those bastards." Cu shook his head.
"That...has to suck." Ritsuka just drank some water.
"Oh man. I would cry if that was me." Guadako feels that would happen to her if she went on an insane trip. Yikes. Just imagining it hurt.
"Poor Berserker." Illya let a single tear drop.
And so, it would appear the trip had quite literally been for nothing. Jason screaming and Hercules showing mass disappointment. I mean, yeah he got stronger, but even he felt this reward was pathetic.
"You know what?" Jason stood up. "As our distant and questionably Greek descendants would say, "FUGGEDABOUT IT"!" He then puts a hand on Hercules shoulder. "Who needs a stupid Strenghening Quest? You're Hercules! And perhaps true might...was the friends we made along the way."
Hercules then spoke. While as always it was just a grunting roar with no words, Jason still understood it. Particularly, the flaw in his sentence.
"Yes, I know we made more enemies than friends during our adventure." Like how Chiron was upset for being turned to that. 'Cerberus' did not like being reduced to a dog again. Or even Circe hating on them. And so on. "That's not quite what I meant."
Jason then began stuttering a bit. "It's-that is-I-I like to jointly refer to us as Argonauts, but we've never really had a complete quest together, have we?" That was...true. "You had to leave early to finish your Twelve Labors, the real ones, while I had to continue after that damnable Golden Fleece."
Which didn't end well at all!
Jason then just sighed. "Whenever my back was against the wall after our split, part of me always hoped that you'd swoop in out of the blue and save us. Some hero, huh? How selfish can one king get? What I should have prayed for was a do-over. We...I should've come with you."
"So this is bromance." Illya said with Chloe for some reason thinking this was awesome.
Atalanta, and the two Medea's stared, and while their thoughts of Jason being scum still remained...for some reason they didn't hate him entirely now.
Chiron himself was smiling. "Friends to the end."
Mash stared with stars in her eyes. This was one of the things she searched for on her journey of self-discovery. Friendship.
Hercules grunted, patting Jason on the back. The two are just watching the blue sky. Jason continued his speech. "Then once we were done with your ordeals, we could have resumed my voyage; continued to look out for each knows? Perhaps together, we could have survived our wives and lived to be boring, old has-beens." Jason joked.
Hercules grunted, wondering how.
"How?" Jason smiled. "I was married to the deadliest witch in the world. I would've smelled that poison shirt a mile away. I'm no Lichas."
Hercules smiled with a good chuckle.
"This war among mixed histories is bleak and painful, but I'm glad it gave us a chance to finish at least one adventure as a team." Jason told Hercules, his best friend. "Eh, let's head in for some dinner. It's shawarma, I think. Eat up. Never know when we'll have to pulverize Poseidon or something."
Hercules then grunted, telling Jason something that made him laugh.
"Someone's already killed him? Wonderful! I always hated that guy!"
"Same here." Drake shouted as she raised some good old alcohol and drank it down.
"So I guess this is it, huh?' Ristuka asked the voice.
"Not yet.' The voice says. "There's just one last thing to show you all."
"Then hurry away." Orion told the voice. "I wanna see how this story ends!"
"With pleasure."
It's been quite a bit now. Months really. And now, Jason was with the Argonauts ready on a quest that will decide if Chaldea can even win or not.
"Send as many storms as you like, Wodime!" Jason shouted at the former Chaldea ally now turned Cryptor. "Only Jason of Iolcus can vanquish Jason of Iolcus! There's a whole myth that says so!"
"Wodime!" Both Mash and Da Vinci gave a glance at a capsule. Wondering what was going on in that world. The Fujimaru Twins wondering what they were staring at.
"A tragic myth! Heh!" From the storm came Caenis. A former Argonaut now turned enemy wielding a trident and shield while showing quite a bit of chest. Sneering at Jason with glowing red eyes. "I don't even really need to strike. Atlantis Bounded Field is Invincible! You'll break upon it soon enough!"
"Treachourse be thy tongue, Lancer." Jason quipped at her. "If Atlantis was as impregnable as you claim, you wouldn't be here! Right, Medea?"
From behind came his ex-wife, Medea. Who spoke of Jason's guess. "I hate how I have to say this, but yes. I've scried a critical flaw on the northwest extrados of Atlantis' domed barrier." She then spoke the bad news. "But it's so thickly reinforced, I'm surprised we can see through it. And even if it wasn't the angle's all wrong for what you planned!"
"What was it that Archimedas said?" Jason says to her. "Levers? A place to stand? Bah! Seas are generous with fulcrums, and a juicy one nears!"
A wave then came, tilting the Argo. It was just what Jason needed. The hero then calls out to Hercules.
"Hercules! It's now or never, my friend! At the crest of this wave, at the apex of its terrible force, leap and aim yourself true!" He shouted.
Hercules roared and did as was told. Jumping at the hgh of the force and leaving the ship, ready to fulfill his part of the mission. As he left, Medea looked at Jason.
"I've known falsehoods to sing like truths from your lips, Jason." She says to her ex-husband. "Do you truly...truly believe he can win this one?" She asked, to see if Jason himself believed.
"If there's Hercules, there's hope." Was all Jason said, having full trust in his friend. "I can promise no more than that."
Meanwhile, hercules made it. And roared as he attacked the army. To do his part. Then, be it by miracle or imagination, he heard something. No, not something...someone!
"Hercules, I don't know if you can still hear me, but if you can, remember what I told you." The voice of his friend Jason spoke to him. "When you knock on your father's door, don't forget to give him a big old SMILE!"
Hercules felt the voice vanished, but didn't mind. He knew what to do. As he marched on, he bashed through the door and did what Jason told him. Giving his dear old pa what he deserved. A nice….sweet…
SMILE!?
Atlantis won't survive this one.
Chloe and Miyu yelped a bit and hugged one another. Frightened by that so called smile!
"Heheheh!" Illya cheered. "What a nice smile."
"Seriously!?" Chloe shouted at her.
"Well...that was crazy." Ritsuka said. "But, it wasn't bad either."
"True that. Jason was an ass back in that Singularity, but seeing him in this one...felt different.' Guadako said.
"Don't be mistaken, he's still insufferable." Medea told the Masters. "But...I suppose I can acknowledge his friendship with Hercules is indeed true."
"Mmm!" Medea (Lily) frowned. "How come I wasn't with him!?"
"Ha!" Circe patts her niece on the head. "In this form, you're still into Jason. Not sure if that's a good thing or bad thing. Your taste in men is strange."
"Thanks auntie."
"Don't call me auntie!" Circe shouted back.
"While some of those fights were plain weird, I kinda liked them." Cu grins. "Heck, some of those battles looked awesome!"
"I'll say." Beowulf laughed. "And I liked how strong Hercules became in the end. Incredible!"
"He's the mightiest of all Greek Heroes." Achilles closed one eye. "I hope I can face him in Chaldea soon enough."
"Yes, he will be useful in future battles." Atalanta smiled. "And...I guess having Jason around won't hurt. So long as he doesn't do anything stupid or vile, I can tolerate his antics. His tactics can be helpful in future battles."
"Until we meet him again, I congratulate the two." Artoria raised her cup, with many doing the same. Cheering a bit for the adventure Jason and Hercules had.
"Well, isn't that nice." The voice said. "Now that that's done, I guess we should continue on now."
"You mean there's another we'll watch?" Guadako asked.
"Hell yeah!" The voice said. "So get ready, as we see another world. Enjoy!"
The screen then turned on, ready to show the world of-
And that's that. Man that took forever. I hope you all liked this second chapter and first major viewing. Orojuice does good work, and I plan on showing their Cryptor work later on. Hopefully they won't mind. But for now, this long chapter ends and another will start. Hopefully without my fingers being busted. Until Next Time.