Chapter 16: SAO Abridged - Episode 4
"APRIL FOOL'S SUCKERS! HAHAHAHAHAHA!" The Voice, then out of nowhere, began laughing as the Fate Grand Order Cast just watched, unnerved where this even came from.
"Uh, what's happening." Ritsuka says as he scratches his back.
"No idea." Guadako said to her brother. "He just...laughed out of nowhere."
"Is this some kind of gag?" Jack the Ripper asks.
"Why do you say that?" Mordred looks at the serial killer.
"Because it'd be April First!" Merlin says as he summons some confetti.
"But...this is Japan?" EMIYA points out.
"And?" Billy the Kid stgates. "We American Servants for some reason do your Japan holidays, along with many others who aren't even Japanese."
"Like that whole White Day thing." Medea knew for a fact the Greeks didn't do it.
"And back in my time, there was no cultural Christmas." Cu said but couldn't be sure, because he felt his memory was a bit spotty.
"Hey, what's up with all that dust?" Medusa asks as she points at a bunch of chairs with dust...that looks oddly like them. Though before anybody could question this, the Voice made a snapping sound and from it, the dust disappeared cleaning up the April First Gag he made and decided to resume this story. If anybody believed this, they were fools! Yeah baby!
"Alright folks, we have returned to see another world." The Voice told his cast of victims who once more prepared themselves to see this new dimension they were about to see. Already moving on from whatever shenanigan he did. "And," The Voice then smugly spoke. "This world will be a bit unique compared to other worlds."
"Oh. Why's that?" Mash asked the Voice.
"Simple really. Because," The Voice then paused, to get some of that good suspense going. "This world will feature you guys for once."
"Woah!"
"What!?"
"No way!"
Yep. The Voice was finally doing it. He was going to use the old, the watching cast replaced the dimensional cast like countless other Keepers do and how he did it in his old cast. As such, those like Ritsuka, Mash, Guadako, and others might be seen taking the place of the usual main characters instead. Been a while since he did this.
"Of course, I should tell you this." The Voice then began to get a few facts straight. "As this is an alternate world, some of you may act differently."
"That makes sense." Kadoc nods. "Different circumstances, different life, different personality." Who knows, maybe he'll be awesome in this other world. Wouldn't that be perfect.
"Different circumstances…" Mash eyed Ritsuka a bit. Recalling the parallel world of the Love Game, and gave a slight prayer that this world may have her and him be a bit...closer.
"Now this might be epic." Cu grins a little. Imagining what circumstances might come if he were to be seen. Maybe he'll have a good fight.
"I wouldn't put all those eggs in one basket." Hans then states. "After all, other worlds also mean huge disappointments." Infinite worlds had good ones, great ones, and probably miserable ones too. The multiverse wasn't all good and bad as one would think, and had many circumstances that could make them see it in a bad light.
"Wouldn't be fun if it didn't have its ups and downs." Ishtar states believing the same. But she also believed where some might find this next world bad, others will see it as interesting. Guess there was only one way to find out though.
"Well then," Arturia leans back and summons more food once more. Loving the theatre for providing such snacks. "Let us get started. Noneed to keep the king waiting."
"Sure." The Voice agrees as the screen begins turning on. Then decides to give a basic outline of the world he'll show. "This world will feature a digital realm. Where virtual reality is science fiction to you, here, it's more than that."
"Oh. A game!" Ritsuka and Guadako liked that. Even better, it was like Chaldea's simulation only much better.
"That's right." The Voice tells them. "One where the players must do their best to survive."
"Oh. I see now." EMIYA understood this concept a bit. "So it's that of story."
"Huh. What story?" Illya asks, a bit confused where this was going. Even Mash didn't understand along with most of the other Servants. After all, they've long died before the concept of virtual reality was introduced.
"In other words," Kadoc, being born in the recent generation and read a few books on this, smirked a bit as he knew what was going on. "The players are trapped in this game world and death there means death in real life."
"Ah." Holmes now could compare, as his mind figured it out. "Very similar to the dreams our young Masters have. Where death in their dreams means death to their real bodies."
"Oh yeah." Guadako realizes that actually was the same. "That actually makes sense." That tower thing with Avenger was definitely like it, only with less XP, Item gain, and loot. That, and it involved some weird soul shenanigans at junk like that. So weird.
"And now, to see the world known as SAO Abridged!" The screen turned on and everybody sat and watched to see just what their alternatives were like. This should be very interesting to see what is different here.
SAO ABRIDGED Parody
It showed a young man, slowly putting on some visor of sorts. Then he began pushing a few buttons, a green light appearing as the game was slowly turning on. There, it then showed two eyes which then closed, the young man then saying one thing. "Player link, start!"
"Ah man." Guadako growned. "Ritsuka again!" She then frowned. "Hey Voice, why is he always seem to be the main character?" Sure she got that one scene...as a little girl that then got tied to a chair!
"Right, that." The Voice checked the old logs of what the cast saw that indeed, most of the views were of Ritsuka. "There's a good reason for it." He then explained. "Ritsuka is just more popular and is a dude."
"What!?' Guadako angrily says.
"Because he's...a man?" Atalanta felt some anger there along with other women. The men for the most part, began nodding in understanding. This just pissed the girls off.
"Sorry ladies, but while there's nothing wrong with women roles, men are usually the main characters." Hell, in the official FGO canon, the anime and nearly all the manga's feature male Ritsuka primarily with only three mangas showing Guadako. It was cruel, but it was what it was.
Back in real life, the male then saw bright colors past by his vision. Where soon after he saw darkness, where with open eyes he then saw he was in some square. Sighing, the boy then thought, "Sword Art Online. It's been awhile since the beta. Wonder if they changed anything?'
It then showed none other than Ritsuka...who looked taller, more handsome, and definitely had a bit extra muscles there due to being more grown up.
Ritsuka groaned as his sister began laughing at his avatar.
Some of the female Servants that...lusted for him, oohed at his Avatar body.
"Well." Kadoc gave a slight chuckle. "Someone has a dream bod."
Mash herself stared at the other Ritsuka and then blushed. 'W-will Senpai look like...that...in the future?'
Already the Master of Chaldea felt miserable.
Ritsuka then looked up and saw a sign that had a burger, some soda bottles, advertisements of a phone, and so on. "Aw, some on!" Ritsuka shouts in disgust of the new reality he was in. "Really? That's just disgusting!"
So much for escaping reality.
"Indeed." Edijson says with dark eyes. "This internet thing we have is wonderful. And yet," The fake lion growls. "It's full of such horrid human marketing."
This world has gone dark indeed.
Not wanting to see any of this, Ritsuka says, "Activate AdBlocker."
Then suddenly, a digital print shows he has to buy it for 29.99. Ritsuka then chuckles a bit before saying, "I am gonna burn this f**cher to the ground."
Everyone including the Voice could agree with that.
(To the Right) Ritsuka slashes at his enemies.
(To the Left) Guadako also does the same.
(We will fight to the death) Other characters start running while a cloaked one makes an attack. The scene then changes showing Ritsuka battling EMIYA in a sword duel.
(To the edge of the earth) A skeleton tries to attack at bursting speed. EMIYA blocking it with his shield. Ritsuka then seen cutting down more monsters of all sorts in this digital world.
(It's a brand new world, it's a brave new world) None other than Hakuno Kishinami is shown with his own blade as he attacks and kills a monster while Ritsuka kills even more. Another player, Sieg, also cuts one down before once more changing to Ritsuka as he looks angry.
(It's a BRAVE NEW WOOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRRRRRRLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLDDDDDDDDD) One where it is him and Guadako as both of them kill a powerful monster together.
(Woah ey oh ey oh oh! Brave new woooorrrllllddddd) The two then seen holding hands at a sunset as numbers of ones and zeroes is shown on the screen before changing to the title Sword Art Online Abridged.
"...what the hell." Ritsuka blinks at what just happened. "Was that...was that the opening…"
"HAKUNO!" Nero and Tamamo cling to each other and squeal.
"Onichan!" Illya, Chloe, and Miyu say at once.
"S-S-Sieg!" Astolfo and Jeanne say.
EMIYA just blinked in surprise at seeing himself with Sieg feeling very much the same.
"Okay...this just got weird." Ishtar huffs.
"And more is undoubtedly to come." Guadako shivers. Not liking that weird scene where she and her bro held hands. Uh, creepy and awkward.
Back in the game world, it showed some player getting sent back hard with a scream yelling, "D'aww! God"
What sent this man back was none other than a demonic boar with glowing red eyes. The location, Floor 1: Town of Beginnings, West Field. The date being Nov 6, 2022.
The player writhes in pain and reveal himself to be none other than Hakuno. With Ritsuka right behind him saying, "Wow. Congrats. You were defeated by a pig."
Ritsuka felt some angry states by the Extra Cast, and he sweat dropped.
That was a warning sign.
Meanwhile, Diarmuid just shivered. Damn demonic pigs. Curse their creepy hides.
"F**k you man!" Hakuno shoots back. "That's, like, the pig from hell!"
"Right?" Ritsuka seems to agree in all fakeness while tossing a stone up. Then he throws it at such absurd speed, it kills the pig in one shot. "My god." Ritsuka then sarcastically says. "I stumbled across the most powerful weapon in the game!"
"Stop." Kakuno just asks. Ritsuka didn't care.
"The Mithril Pebble of Pig Smiting!"
"Please stop."
Ritsuka takes a large breath.
"Dooon't."
Ritsuka just kept going and said, "For you see, long ago, this pebble was forged in the fiery pits of Taurus, by the grand blacksmith of Lucifer himself. In a time before the world began.." Hours later, the sun was coming down. "...And thus, Mardoza, Guardian of the Pebble, fell to his knees, and passed from this world, leaving behind the mighty weapon."
"Hm." Hans looked a bit interested. "An asshole protagonist. That's definitely unique."
"And not often done." Shakespear agrees. "For it seems young Ritsuka is a jerkass. Hahahahahha!"
"Oh yeah, definitely." Guadako smirks at her brother. "What an ass."
"Uhhhhh." Ritsuka thought his other self was cool. Not a giant jerk. Screw this world already! Even worse-
"Is the story still going." Kadoc sighed.
-his other self was still talking!
"For he knew that one day, it's power would be required once more."
"Are you done?" Hakuno then asks. Seriously hoping this was all over.
"Yes." Then Ritsuka says in a hush whisper, "But the legacy of the pebble lives on."
"I have a feeling you get beat up a lot in real life." Hakuno then jokes.
"I get that feeling too." Ritsuka sighs.
"Shut up!" Ritsuka whines. "Here I have power!"
"Which turned him into an annoying jerk who bullies others." Da Vinci gave Ritsuka a sad smile. "I wish you luck."
"...thanks."
"Riiight." Hakuno then gets up. "Anyway, I've got pizza coming, and I'm gonna meet up with some friends later. So thanks, for the quick tutorial on pig slaying, and the not-so-quick tutorial on...rocks…" He then looks up and Ritsuka's name. "Ri-tsu-ka…?"
"Hey, no problem." Ritsuka answers back. "I had fun taunting you…" Ritsuka then looks at Hakuno's player name. "BallsDeep69."
"Hu." Tamammo sighs. "Guess that was his way of trying to be unique again."
"Indeed." Nero agrees. "She always did…" She then paused. "...he?"
Hakuno just starts laughing nervously. "Yeah. It's, uh...It's, uh, just a joke name." One he clearly regretted. "Just a character to dick around with while I get the hang of the game. I'm gonna make my real character later."
"Excellent." Illya says. "Because that name seems inappropriate."
"I dunno." Chloe smirks. "I kinda liked it."
"Of course you would." Miyu sighs.
"Yeah. Yeah, no. No, I get it." Ritsuka answers back. Then he waits a bit before saying, "Soooo...um...your pizza?"
"Right, right." Hakuno then goes to log off. "Loggin out." He then searches to log out when suddenly, he says, "Hey Kirito. Um, total noob question, but how do I log out?"
"Oh dear." EMIYA now sees where this is going. "So it has finally begun."
"This can't end well at all." Tesla says. "This abuse of technology."
"Whoever is doing this, is not beautiful." Da Vinci agrees.
"And things are gonna get bad." Guadako finishes it for while Mash begins to worry for the other Senpai.
"Are you serious, man?" Ritsuka asks, surprised by the noob question.
"C'mon man." Hakuno says back. "It's NerveGear. I can't Alt+F4 this sh*t." Kirito just makes an annoyed sigh, but goes to help.
"Alright, fine. It's right...here?" Now it was Kirito having trouble as he to couldn't find the log out button.
"Oh, thanks," Hakuno thanks Kirito thinking he had the answer. "Players guide."
"No," Ritsuka says back. "It's here. It's just...blank."
"Wait." Hakuno finds something. "There's something scrolling across mine." Hakuno then reads, "HAHAHAHAHAahahahahAHAahahahaha."
"I get it." Ritsuka says.
"Wait, wait, wait. Wait, wait, there's more." Hakuno tries stopping Ritsuka. "...ha…"
"Riveting."
"Now that's just annoying and plain rude." Ritsuka answers, unamused by this troll.
"Still, it seems you're in trouble." Cu tells him. "I can't say I get this virtual reality crap, but it definitely doesn't sound good."
"I see only trouble up ahead." Kadoc tells Ritsuka. "Your other self better be prepared."
"I'm sure Senpai is ready." Mash says. "While he's more...mean...than usual. He's strong here." Ritsuka felt happy hearing that.
"Yeah." Guadako grins. "Strong because he made his avatar look all nice and buff." Ritsuka wanted to punch his sister there.
"Well, whatever." Hakuno states as he then grabs his head. "I'll just pull the NerveGear off, like...so!"
Nothing happened.
"Hery, dumbass." Ritsuka calls him out, as the weather gets darker. "It doesn't work that way. The NerveGear diables your motor functions so you don't move around while you play. Don't you remember all those videos of the beta testers?"
It then shows said video with none other than Waver Velvet walking around impressed saying, "Woah. It's so life like."
Suddenly from a nearby door came Grey saying, "Oh hey, Master. How's the NerveGear thing goin-"
That was all Gray could say as Waver, still thinking he's in a game, yells out, "Troll!" The proceeds to punch Gray with magical empowered fists and a knee to the crotch with Gray unable to do anything but scream.
Inside the cage Gray held a small cube was laughing.
"So many lawsuits..." Ritsuka said.
"..." Waver blinks as he looks at Gray who seemed a bit scared now at seeing what their doubles just did. "Uh...sorry…"
"...apology forgiven." Gray answers back.
"That definitely makes sense." Edison states with Tesla agreeing. Though then suddenly, the Archer looks at his rival and realized something.
"...when did you get here?"
Edison blinked. "I've been here this entire time."
Oh great. Damn Voice!
Back in the game, a strange noise was then heard.
"Um, do you feel tingly?" Hakuno asks as the world goes white. Then it changes to the two in a new area, teleported somewhere else.
"No, why?" Ritsuka asks as he looks around. Seeing so many new people. More and more people teleporting in looking confused on why they were there, indicating they didn't come willingly.
"It appears the mastermind is about to come." Holmes states.
"Time to see who the head honcho is!" Blackbeard declares.
"And maybe what they're plan truly is." Lancelot adds.
It was then as everyone soon came in, a red blinking hexagon showed up in the sky.
"What the hell is that?" Hakuno asks, where his answer will come very soon.
"Well Ballsy," Ritsuka insults him with his dumb name. "I believe the locals call it a...hex-a-gon?" The hexagon then keeps on duplicating and growing much larger. "Not sure if I'm pronouncing that correctly, I'll have to check back with you."
"F*ck off." Hakuno says as the sky is now filled with the shape, the sky all red and soon bleeding.
"And the sky is bleeding." Ritsuka points out the obvious as the sky also then sparks.
"Man," Hakuno watches with everybody else. "They're really working for that M rating." Eventually as the blood sparks and forms, it shows other characters around.
"Oh my god. What's going on?" A girl asks.
"Don't worry, baby. I'll protect you." The boy answers back.
It was then a giant cloaked figure is seen where one player then comments on it by saying, "Oh, it's a person."
"One that can probably kill you." Anastasia huffs at such a ridiculous answer.
"I get the feeling these people aren't so bright." Moriaty gives his opinion on the masses.
"Funny." Babbage nods. "I get that feeling too."
It was then the person spoke in a feminine tone saying, "Ladies and gentleman. I am BB, head AI."
"Oh boy." Nero freezes with Tammamo. "This isn't good."
"Ya think!" Tammammo shouts back.
Other Servants like Robin Hood and Elizabeth shaked. Oh man. This world was doomed!
"Welcome," BB spread her arms. "To the unparalleled online experience that is…Sword Art Onli-" Though before BB could even finish, the crowd began chattering in confusion, fear, and whatever else they wanted to talk about. Something BB didn't like. "Uh, hello? Hel-Hello? Um, hello, people? Kinda talking here. Focus."
Even in danger, humans find a way to ignore danger and be ignorant to it." EMIYA shakes his head.
"The crowd is dead." Robin Hood can only imagine what BB would do to them.
After a bit, puffing her cheeks under the cloak, BB said, "Kay. Yeah, I'm just gonna go ahead and disable general chat her-" And BB did...muting mute on herself instead.
Nero and Tamammo blinked...before laughing.
"Huh. Guess she ain't so smart here." Robin Hood smirked.
"That's for making me a slave!" Elisabeth laughed.
"You do realize she is still dangerous, right?" Kadoc asks as BB still held total dominion there.
"It's still funny." Nursery Rhyme laughs alongside Jack. Kadoc couldn't deny that part.
As the crowd keeps talking, Hakuno says, "Do you think she'll realize she just muted herself?"
"Give it a minute." Ritsuka answers.
After said minute, BB unmuted herself and said, "Alright, I just realized what happened there. It's very funny. But right now, serious time." BB then decided to ask a simple question. "How many of you have seen Tron?"
"I'm sorry, what?" Hans asked.
Nobody said anything making BB shocked.
"Eh?" Nobody still said nothing. "Eh? W-what seriously?! None of you have seen Tron?"
"Is it some show from BB's future?" Kadoc asked seriously.
"Nooope." Da Vinci looks at her phone. "It was actually made a long while back. It's just, er...moving on."
"S*it!" BB cusses in anger. "I was really banking on that. Okay. Okay, no prob. I can wing this." BB clears her throat. "Much like the World of Warcraft, none of you are here by choice anymore. "Unlike WoW or the Far Side of the Moon, you are being held by cute little me. Not by your pathetic human needs to f**ckin escape reality." A cute little bell sound is then heard. "There is no longer any way to log out of Sword Art Online, or as I call it, Fate Excella now. And if someone on the outside attempts to log you out by removing NerveGear, well...Has anyone seen Scanners?"
Again, nobody talked about it.
"Talk about a poor choice of movie picks." Guadako chuckles.
"Uh, Scanners." BB says before growing annoyed again by a lack of knowledge of the film. "It's-It's a movie that-Seriosuly?!" She knew she shouldn't have trusted her Alter Egos for advice! "Okay, gimme a second. I'll just...Alright, here-here we go. Watch this."
The clip BB then showed was of Shirou Emiya who looked happy while his teacher Taiga tried to take off his NerveGear...his head promptly exploded into a pile of red gush.
EMIYA gasped and Jaguar Warrior screamed.
"Oh my gosh." Ritsuka threw up with his sister behind him. Mash herself also looking sich and Arturia being horrified.
"Hehe." Ishtar chuckled. "That's kinda funny."
"Poor stranger." Parvati agrees.
"That's Oni-Chan!" Chloe yells at the two Goddesses for not being more worried...who then shrug.
"We don't know him. So why would we be worried?" Ishtar once more reminds Chloe that her Avatar's body memories of Shirou were locked up...so they really couldn't care less of Shirou.
A cruel world indeed.
Once the video was done, BB looked at it and chuckled. "Whoops, that wasn't from the film. That was from some schmuck who had his teacher rip it off. My bad."
In the crowd, none other than EMIYA gasped!
"Oh, but don't worry. There's a 0.0000000000001 percent chance that your Avatar and remnants of your mind will survive in this game if the NerveGear is taken off." EMIYA realized he just got super lucky. "But now you're trapped in this game world forever if it does happen." Never mind, he was super unlucky.
As for everybody else, now they were freaking out and treating this more seriously. Becoming scared. Something BB smirked at as she got her reactions.
"Okay, finally! Some of your sad little gears turning. We're making progress on your fear factor."
"Why would you do such a thing!?" One Player demands.
BB looks down and laughs. "Robin? Robin Hood?! Is that you?" BB then giggles.
"Oh nooooo." Robin Hood sighs.
"Robin Hood. How are you enjoying that advanced copy?"
"I'm playing with Elisabeth!"
"Crap!" The young version of her 'vampire' self yelled out.
BB laughs out loud. "Oh, that's right. Happy Birthday Elisabeth."
Crying is heard as Elisabth was suppose to play this game for only an hour then leave to FINALLY get that idol role she received.
"NOOOOO!" The Lancer cried in despair.
"What a monster." Gawain says with disdain in his voice.
"Ah they grow up so fast. Cherish those moments Robin Hood." BB says, ignoring the fact she trapped two acquaintances into this death trap. "Cherish these moments." BB then decided to move on from this and get back to business. "So, as I was saying, the only way to keep the NerveGear from going all Gallagher on your grey matter is to make your way through Castle Aincard and beat Sword Art Online, Fate Excella!"
It then showed a map with a hundred floor going up top to show what they're goal was.
"So..You want us to beat an MMO?" A random Player asks.
"Essentially." BB confirms.
"F*ck you!" The player yells back.
"WOOOOAAHHH!" BB says while subtly killing that Player before looking at the crowd who was just as hostile. How dare he insult her cute face. Getting a lot of hostility here. Don't appreciate it."
"As the player says, f*ck her." Cu points out. "If I had the power, I'd kill her for doing this crap."
"I mean, she isn't all bad." Ritsuka tries to defend her. Remembering how she helped out a few times.
"I'm sorry Master, but I call bull on this!" EMIYA never liked that brat.
"She's a monster!" Always making moves on Nero's Praiter! She deserved death!
"Well, honestly!" Another Player yells out. "When was the last time you heard of someone BEATING Everquest?!"
"When was the last time you heard of someone PLAYING Everquest?" BB shoots back.
"That's fair." Many others also agreed.
"Anywho," BB then decided to make things more interesting. "For all you guys who wanted to play as girls" and you know who you are, well, I've got a surprise for you."
It was then everybody got a mirror which shone where after a bit, it revealed everybody for what they TRULY looked like.
"Ritsuka." Hakuno asks who now looks back to normal, with Ritsuka who looks like a younger version of what he played as.
Elsewhere, it then showed the former 'girl' being none other than Caesar, and the boy she had been with was Cleopatra.
"You're not a girl." Cleopatra points out to Caesar.
"And you're not a dude!" Caesar points out.
"I'm okay with this." Cleopatra says.
"Me too!" Caesar agrees.
"LOVE KNOWS NO GENDER!" Kiichi Hougen says behind them.
"Uh." Cleopatra hid herself, glad her husband wasn't here for this. Plus, it was weird seeing her husband in such feminine clothing with that gut. At least she looked okay in her clothing.
Then Medea came in and said, "...he has a good choice in clothes."
"Uhg!"
Back to Hakuno and Ritsuka, the former says, "You look so...young."
"And you look less hairy Balls." Ritsuka shoots back.
"My name is Hakuno!" The boy says to Ritsuka.
"Hehe. No it's not." Ritsuka chuckles.
Back above, BB laughed. "As you can see, I have peeled away your petty facades and revealed you for what you truly are…" BB then looked at the crowd and became slightly surprised. "Huh, not a bunch of gaming losers like I thought, but fairly attractive twenty-somethings, apparently. Good for you. Kinda undermines the whole "cold light of day" thing I had planned, but still. Way to break down stereotypes. " BB then points at Caesar. "'Cept you fatty. Way to bring down the curve."
"Ah." Caesar says as his gut bursts the blouse with Cleopatra patting him on the back.
"OH, oh, oh! One more thing, one more thing!" BB then starts to say before she leaves. "I should probably mention if your health points reach zero, your real bodies perish as well."
"WHAT!?" A player screams.
"Totally saw that coming a mile away." Blackbeard grins.
"Indeed." EMIYA once saw a show like this. "So typical."
"Uh, okay." BB decided to repeat what she said as this players were kinda stupid. "If you die in the game, you die for real."
"WHAT!?" The same Player screams.
"Really?" BB shakes her head. "Okay," She decides to clear her throat and then says, "Sometimes, things are born, they live, and then they stop." Were humans really this stupid? "Forever."
"WHAT!?" Growling, first BB reshows the video of Emiya Shirou dying with said man cringing at seeing his head explode again.
As for the Player who said WHAT, BB secretly killed him.
Back to the crowd, another player says, "Oh my God! If we die in the game, we die for real!"
"...something tells me a lot of these Players are going to die." Atalanta states with many actually agreeing with her. Because these Players didn't seem to smart unfortunately.
"Yeah, I'm just going to keep that tabbed." BB said before then deciding to go now. "And with that, I bid you all adieu." Though as she stars vanishing, BB realized she forgot to say one last thing. "Oh, oh, oh! Last thing, I swear! I disabled the profanity filter." BB then smirked. "Have fun with that."
"Oh damn." Ritsuka says. "Profanity filter gone. Then that means."
"So many cuss words." Guadako finishes. Because that's what teenagers are. Assholes.
The red screen vanished, and everybody in the crowd didn't know what to do for just that one moment as they were left alone. Trapped in this game world. Then, one player decides to say the one thing everybody had on their mind. This time, without the profanity filter getting in his way.
"WE'RE FUCKED!"
How right he is.
Hours later, Ritsuka and Hakuno were talking, to see what they could do.
"Ballsy," Ritsuka says, still refusing to use Hakuno's real name. "I'm headed to the next town, and I need your help."
"Really?" Hakuno was surprised. You need MY help?" Sounded too good to be true.
"Yeah." Ritsuka confirmed. "There's a Mini-Boss on the way, and I need cannon fodder. You in or out?"
"Master," Tamammo was suddenly next to Ritsuka who felt like death was near him. "If you hurt my husband-"
"Or kill him in any way-" Nero was also near him, when suddenly a rainbow colored sword settled near his neck.
"You will die here." Altera was also with them.
"Gulp."
"As tempting as that sounds," It really wasn't. "I really should stick with my friends back there." A girl with twin tails, a girl with dark skin and glasses, another with blonde hair. Not to mention that guy with blue seaweed hair. All of them who looked scared with the blue head grabbing the twin-tailed who kicked him in the face. The blue head's sister just sighing and getting a health potion.
"They're about as skilled as I am." Hakuno continues. "So I figure we have a better chance of surviving if we stick together."
"Well, monkeys and typewriters." Ritsuka shrugs.
Hakuno, now a bit pissed, then said, "In ANY case. You may be the most UNBEARABLE asshole I've ever met, but you are REALLY good at this game." Hakuno admits. "We could use you in our group. Whaddya say? You could meet my friends; we'll form a Guild and have all these adventures! It'll be great!"
Mash smiled. Even though this version of her senpai is...rather rude. She knew deep down, he had a heart of gold as he was a human though would certainly-
Ritsuka was long gone and the crows were cawing.
"..." Or not, as Mash looked a bit disappointed.
"Man. What an ass." Hans says. And this was him of all people saying it.
"The future looks bleak." EMIYA bluntly states.
"This won't end well." Ritsuka sighs.
The Extra gang just glared at Ritsuka with Guadako enjoying every moment of it.
"We'll, screw you too!" Hakuni shouts out loud at such a rude answer. "Think you're too good to join my Guild. Think you're all COOL 'cause you know how to kill a boar."
Meanwhile, Ritsuka was seen running and crying hysterically and whined saying, "He called me an asshole!"
The real reason he left as the screen goes dark.
...Then shows Waver who had killed Gray with his fists, and stopped. Then began dancing as he got XP, Gold, and a Manslaughter charge for some reason.
"So he can bark loud but can't take anybody barking at him. Weak." Kid Gil laughs.
Waver just moans as he saw his other kill Gray with his apprentice now shivering. Guess he should forget getting VR games after all.
"Well that was...something." Da Vinci grinned. "We saw another world, just with us in it."
"Not to mention seeing wonderful faces." Nero sighs lovingly at seeing her beloved Hakuno. Granted, this one was a different gender, but who cares! She loves them no matter what.
"I just hope I survive the experience." Robin Hood moans as his other was trapped in this world.
"With BB in charge, who can say." Holmes explains. Knowing BB was rather out of this world in terms of common sense. It wouldn't surprise him if she did this just because she wanted fun.
"I just can't believe I've become a glorified jerk." Ritsuka didn't like his other self.
"I like it." Guadako grins. "Makes you seem more 'human' as you have anger here, and other negative qualities."
'True that.' The Voice though. Most viewings of Ritsuksa was him always nice, calm, and never seemingly breaking down and always making Servants see him as a good person who was human. But doesn't that mean that the Servants see jerks as not human? If so, then does that mean one can't have negative qualities to be a human in Mash's eyes. If so, then screw that! There's a Trope called a Jerk with a Heart of Gold for a reason. The only times Ritsuka was seen breaking down is because of the Lostbelts and crap. So suck it.
"Anyway, it's time we continue on." The Voice tells his cast. April 1'st is over. Now, it's time to get to the next viewing. Ah yeah, this will be great. Time for another battle. A battle of man...vs the FUCKING GODS BABY!
APRIL FOOLS! HAHAHAHA. Got you, didn't I. Well, some of you anyway. As if I'd quit this story. It doesn't end until I say so! Granted, I did mean what I said that so many keep asking for more suggestions, and that DOES get annoying. I don't really care to much of actual reviews since this IS a react fic, but if some of you can dial the CONSTANT suggestions down, then that'd be great. Because sorry, but I don't take suggestions. I choose what I choose for fun after all.
In any case, there is ONE suggestion I will accept. I was going to do it long before you guys suggested it, but eh, might as well just say it now. Because next chapter, it's man vs god in the recent manga I've read and enjoyed. Valkyrie!