Chapter Eight

Uranus watched Saturn finish her opponent off and struggled not to throw up. It was slaughter, plain and simple. Saturn's opponent was little more than a pile of mangled flesh at the centre of a black starburst of blood and gore.

"I know you're there, Uranus."

She froze and felt every drop of blood in her body turn to ice. That voice… that voice did not belong to the Saturn she loved like her own flesh and blood. Heart suddenly racing, she stepped out from the shadows. "Saturn, what are you doing? This isn't… this isn't what we do?"

"What we do?" Saturn laughed, a harsh, ugly sound and yanked the Glaive free of her opponent's corpse. The weapon came loose in a shower of black blood and for a moment the purple-haired young woman simply stared at the weapon's edge, seemingly fascinated by the play of light across the gleaming tenebrous blade. "Tell me, Uranus, what is that we do exactly?"

Uranus swallowed and felt a bead of sweat trickle down her temple. What was going on here? What had happened to Hotaru? "We're protectors, Saturn. This…" she gestured at the desiccated ruin at Saturn's feet. "This isn't protection."

Saturn shook her head. "We've killed before, Uranus and we'll kill again. I really don't see what difference it makes. I eliminated the threat, didn't I?"

"Eliminated?" There was an edge of hysteria in Uranus' voice. "Eliminated? I'll say, you eliminated the threat and then some."

"Oh?" Saturn's eyes narrowed and Uranus was suddenly, terribly aware of her situation. She was out here on her own and if Saturn attacked… well she wasn't too sure that she'd be able to hold her off. Almost instinctively she took a slow step backwards. It was a mistake. Saturn's noticed the movement and for an instant something that might have been sadness flickered through her eyes. And then the emotion was gone, just gone, replaced by that horrible calm. "It seems that you're just like all the others, Uranus."

"What… what do you mean?"

"You're afraid of me." Saturn waved the Glaive in a lazy arc over her head, flicking the blood from the weapon to stain the wall behind her. "You raised me and you're still afraid of me. You think I'm a monster."

"I don't think you're a monster," Uranus replied. She needed to get this situation under control. Saturn didn't sound angry but there was something about the way she stood, light and easy on the balls of her feet, that gave away her intentions. The violet-eyed woman was either getting ready to run… or to fight.

"Really, Uranus, you say you're not afraid but then… why are you sweating so much… why is your pulse racing… why Uranus, are you looking at my so intently?" Saturn's eyes hardened, became twin pools of purple adamant. "I'll tell you why: you're afraid. Do you have any idea how much that hurts, to have your own parents think you're a monster?"

Uranus held her hands up. "Just wait a second there, Saturn. We can talk this through."

"Talk?" The tone of Saturn's voice changed became somehow older and when she spoke again, her voice carried the weight of millennia behind it. "This is just like before…" She drew in a ragged breath. "Just like the last time… I can't trust you… I can't trust any of the others."

"What are you saying, Saturn?" What was wrong with her? Uranus felt fear, real fear pool low in her gut, as Saturn swayed on her feet. The purple haired woman was muttering to herself, almost as if… as if she was trying to explain something to herself.

"You're just another one of the Lunar Empire's dogs!" Saturn stiffened and the Glaive whipped up. "I can't believe that I ever trusted you, you or the others! Not after… not after what you were all responsible for!"

"Lunar Empire? Saturn, I don't know what you're talking about." Then Uranus remembered Pluto's words. Was… was Saturn remembering her past? If Saturn was… then she needed to get out of here now. This wasn't her Saturn, wasn't the child she'd taken in. No this was the Saturn that Pluto had told them about, the same Saturn that had annihilated fleets and wiped out an entire planet.

"You know exactly what I'm talking about!" Fury filled Saturn's voice. "You think I don't remember who was responsible for what happened to my family? You think I don't know how the Empire planned everything?" She sobbed. "I remember now… I remember what happened and I think… that maybe I should finish what I started all those years ago."

"Saturn…" Uranus began only to stop short as Saturn dashed forward almost too fast for her eyes to follow. Instinct alone saved her as the Silence Glaive swept through the air where her head had been only an instant ago. But before she could even think of trying to counterattack, the other senshi lashed out with one leg. The kick caught her full in the stomach and her breath rushed out of her as she doubled over. Blindly she rolled to the side, only narrowly avoiding another strike that would have cut her in half. Scrambling backwards she activated her communicator. "Help…" she gasped. "Guys… I need help right now."

X X X X

Pluto raced toward Uranus location praying that she'd be fast enough. When she had received Uranus call for help she hadn't stopped to think but now she wished she had. What would she do if her worst fears were confirmed and Saturn had started to remember her past? While the Saturn she had helped raise was formidable, none of them stood a chance if the old Saturn had awakened as well. If that happened… there was nothing they could do except try and reason with her and if she had remember just why she hated the Lunar Empire so much, Pluto doubted that would work either.

Her worst fears were confirmed when she arrived. Uranus had the Space Sword out and was doing her best to try and stem Saturn's attack but it was clear who was winning. While the blonde senshi was covered in bruises and cuts – the fact that all of her limbs were still intact was a testament to her skill – the dark haired senshi looked just fine save for the black blood splattered all over her uniform.

"Saturn!" Pluto cried. "Stop!"

And surprisingly, Saturn did. "Pluto… it's been a long time." Saturn's expression was inscrutable. "Tell me, are you with them?"

Pluto shivered. She knew that voice. A casual observer might think it the same as Hotaru's but there subtle differences. The inflection on the words was different, and there was a slight huskiness that Hotaru would probably develop as she grew older. But for now, at least, that voice was unmistakably that of old Saturn.

"Well, Pluto? Are you with me or are you with them?"

"What's going on here?" Uranus shouted as she looked from Pluto to Saturn. The two women were locked in a silent battle of wills. "Pluto, what's wrong with Saturn?"

"She is remembering," Pluto said.

"Yes, and I remember a great many things, Pluto." Saturn's eyes narrowed and while anyone else would have flinched away from her gaze, Pluto met her stare without fear. "And I have a question for you. Why didn't you tell me about my past?"

"Because I knew you would act like this." Pluto leapt from the roof to stand no more than a few metres from the other woman. "Because I thought… no… I hoped that you might have a chance to leave your past behind."

"Leave my past behind?" Saturn shook her head. "Do you remember the creed of the royal house of Saturn?"

Pluto nodded. It was a hard thing to forget, for it summed up why the people of Saturn had made such effective soldiers, why even the Lunar Empire had been cautious in meddling in their affairs. "Never forget. Never forgive." Out of the corner of her eye she spotted the other senshi and made a small gesture for them to keep back.

Saturn must have caught the movement because she chuckled darkly and let here eyes wander over the newly arrived senshi. "So they've all come here, just for me?"

"They care about you." Pluto took a step forward. "You know that."

"They don't care!" Saturn said. "They just want another weapon to keep everyone else in line. Isn't that why they sent you all those years ago? Because Serenity finally let her greed get that better of her fear."

"Yes, I suppose you're right," Pluto said sadly. "But they are different." Her eyes shifted to Moon. "She is different."

"No. Nothing ever changes. It's always the same. You of all people should know that. How many Serenity's did you serve, Pluto? How many them gave damn about anyone other than themselves?" She lifted the Glaive. "The world would be a better place if I just killed all of them right now."

"Wait, Saturn!" Uranus shouted.

"You won't." Pluto took another step forward then another till she stood directly in front of the Glaive, its tip nor more than an inch from her chest. "I know you won't."

"What makes you so sure?" Something flickered in Saturn's eyes.

"Because Uranus is still alive. I know you, Saturn, better than they do, better than they ever will. You have the power to cut a planet in half. If you really, really wanted Uranus dead she would be. It is as simple as that." Pluto reached out and pushed the Glaive aside. "As much as you hate them, as much as you hate everything they stand for there is a part of you that loves them." Her eyes softened. "You said that you remember your past, well what about your present? They are your friends. Uranus, Neptune and I… we have raised you as our own and the others… you are like family to them."

The Glaive quivered in Saturn's grasp and when she spoke there was such longing in her voice that Pluto nearly wept. "Family…"

"Saturn put down the Silence Glaive."

"I can't." It was Hotaru speaking now as much as old Saturn. "I can't."

"You can."

"Why do I hate them?" Saturn dropped to her knees. "Tell me! Why do I hate them so much? Why does one part of me want to tear them limb from limb while the rest of me doesn't ever want to see them hurt?"

And at last Pluto understood and the understanding took her breath away. Remembering hadn't let old Saturn take over Hotaru's body, at least not in the literal sense. Instead the violet-eyed girl was torn between two worlds. She remembered what the Lunar Empire had done to her in the past but at the same time she remembered what Usagi and the others meant to her in the present. One part of her had sworn to tear down the Lunar Empire, the other to protect it at any cost. Saturn had learned to control her hate and rage and sorrow, had learned to bury them beneath a dark and terrible calm. Hotaru had not. If anything Hotaru felt things more deeply, more keenly than any of the Senshi save perhaps Usagi.

"I want to hate them!" Saturn sobbed. "Why can't I just hate them?"

Pluto took the other senshi into her arms. What could she say that could make things better? "I'm sorry," she said at last. "I'm sorry."

X X X X

Author's notes

First off: I neither own Sailor Moon, nor am I making a dime off of this.

Second: I'm not even go to try and excuse the long delay. All I will say is that I've had things going on in real life and that I hope to be able to update on a more regular basis from now on. That said, this chapter was probably the hardest for me to write. For all of those people wondering exactly what Saturn remembered, don't worry – you'll find out soon enough.

As always, I welcome your feedback.