Ch. 28

AN: Okay, so, time is a fickle thing. Now I'm assuming that they were on the road for months before they finally reached Alexandria so this chapter kind of reflects that. Overall this chapter reflects about five months of time and I'm not going to be putting a bunch of Month one, Month two stuff, so yeah. Any questions review or PM me. Have fun!

The whetstone was run along the edge of Sam's blade as the car shambled into a parking space at a rest stop. Merle kept his head forward and, like everyone else, didn't say a word about Sam screaming in his sleep. Beth had tried broaching the subject but was shot down by a glare. The others realized that if she couldn't get to him, then they had a better chance of getting a Walker to stand down.

Rick took a select group to Noah's community, leaving Sam and most of the others a safe distance away should anything go wrong. Rick had asked if Sam had wanted to go, only to be met with silence. That was how it had been for the past few hours since Rick had left, Sam would sit down near a tree where they had parked, sulking, sharpening his sword to a fine razor-sharp edge.

Merle sat in the driver's seat, twirling his knife between his fingers while the others discussed amongst themselves. Carol though, she sat by herself, much like Sam. She would glance over at the boy every so often, her anger spiking, along with her guilt. Sophia was dead. The words rang through her head loudly. She had been there, she had seen it happen. But when it had happened, when her daughter had been in the arms of a stranger, who did she call out to? Not her, not her own mother, but Sam, a boy that she had only known for less than a year.

She had been honest with herself though. She had been a horrible mother. She never protected Sophia from Ed, she had been frail and weak when it had all started, and into the first few months. When Sophia had gone missing, Sam had rescued her, while she had cried herself into a stupor. She didn't even challenge Rick when he had told her to leave. What kind of a mother would do that?

But that didn't change the facts. The man she had entrusted to protect her daughter, failed, just like she had. Her daughter, her beautiful baby girl, was dead and buried. She had heard Sam, they all had, she knew about the nightmares, just like the ones she had. She couldn't hate him though, he had tried, lord knows he did, but he had failed, just like she had.

Sam wasn't all that surprised when Noah's settlement had turned out to be a death trap. The herds seemed to be thicker in the area as they went further north. If it had been up to him, they wouldn't have left Georgia. If it were up to him they would have found a place to hole-up and defend. Maybe then they wouldn't have lost Tyreese.

They had pulled up for the night, the group silent, and in mourning again. Father Gabriel had given a standard service, reciting a prayer and blessing the man. Sam had his pistol laid out in front of him, cleaning it to a near perfect shine just as Rick had taught him to. He slid all of the pieces together after he had greased it, and then tested the slide, making sure that it slid back and forth effortlessly.

The orange flames of the fire danced back and forth in the night. He could feel the cold winds rising and held back a shiver as he leaned forward, hoping to get more warmth. Gabriel had said that it had been October what had felt like a few weeks ago. It was probably November, mid to late. Sam didn't know much about Virginia, but he felt that it might snow, but then again, it might not. A bit of a downside of being a foreigner in the apocalypse.

He felt his left shoulder get nudged and looked over. Beth was holding out a bowl of what appeared to be crushed acorns, and from the look of Bastard, it seemed to be good. He took the bowl and began scooping it out with his hand, his assessment of the food, if it could be called that, being completely wrong.

"You okay?" He kept eating, hoping that Beth would drop it. "Sam, you can talk to me. I know what you're going through. Please?"

"No." Sam's voice was hoarse and his throat felt almost immediately dry. Others looked up shocked, and then back down when Sam glared.

"Please?" Beth said, bit relieved that he had spoken finally.

He reached out and scratched bastard behind the ears, the mutt leaned in and let out a soft bark of appreciation.

"I don't get it," Abraham said a bit too loudly. "We don't need that thing, just another mouth to feed. Why shouldn't we get some—"

"Finish that, you'll be eating your own teeth," Sam growled out. Bastard seemed to sense his masters emotion and rose to his feet, growling at the red haired mustachioed man. "Buachaill éasca, socair. Tóg go bog é."

"The hells that Paddy?" Merle asked.

"Irish. My ma' spoke it, wanted me to as well. Bastard gets calm when I speak to him in it."

"Never heard you say it."

"Never had a reason to. Bastard keeps calm pretty well. You all speak English, didn't have to ever speak Irish." Sam then looked to Abraham and glared at the man. "You come near the dog, you try to eat him. It won't end well. Goodnight."

"Do we even know where we're going anymore Paddy?"

"Not sure Merle, though if you pulled you're head out of your airse I'm sure you could figure it out."

"Sam, could you single them, the dog—"

"Bastard."

"—not calling him that. The dog has to pee, and so do I."

"Sure Beth, one second." Sam flashed his lights and the column of cars slowed to a halt. The others got out of the cars and some went to the woods to go piss or shit while Rick and his inner circle formed up to figure out where they were going. Sam climbed on the car he had been driving, and kept an eye out for any walkers that might come along, a tedious and boring, but often overlooked, job.

"Sam." He looked down and saw Carol standing there. "We need to talk."

They trekked through the woods. Sam felt his palms moisten and his stomach in knots. Out of everyone in the group, Carol scared him the most. Deadly, ruthless at times, and utterly intimidating. If she wanted him dead, he was sure that she could do it.

"I'm sorry," he croaked out quietly. She didn't say anything, opting to keep walking and avoid looking at him. "I'm sorry Carol."

"That doesn't bring her back."

"I tried. To keep them both safe, to try and make sure that they made it through. That fucking herd came out of nowhere."

Carol stopped. "You should have been there, you should have saved her! But no, you went after little miss blond and useless! Following you're cock and not trying to help my little girl! And now what, she's dead, because you couldn't—"

"Me? Carol, you left!"

"Not by choice!"

"So fucking what? Rick tells you to go, you get your daughter first. Some women has your daughter you get her back! Is it my fault? Yes, and I will carry that with me every night. I will see her face and hear her screams. I'll feel her blood on my hands as the life left her body, I am sorry! And I will take that with me to my grave no matter how far or short away it is."

Carol sniffled and Sam handed her a dollar bill to wipe them away. "I should've been there. Fucking Rick! He sent me away, and then He showed up! I could have helped, I could have taken care of her. But then I thought, Sam will! He can take care of Sophia and then you let her go! You let her get captured!"

"I tried Carol. I'm sorry. Sophia was a great girl, bright, full of hope. If I could kill that women over again I would, and I would do it again and again. But I can't, and all I can say, is that I am sorry."

Carol turned and began to walk back to the caravan. "Fuck your apologies."

The snow had enveloped the caravan so suddenly that they had barely enough time to position their cars before they were completely snowed in. There wasn't much they were able to do until the blizzard died and the snows melted.

Sam was currently sandwiched between Beth and Bastard in the backseat, his legs cramping slightly from the awkward positioning, him being too tall in order to comfortably lay down. They had both fallen asleep as did Merle, who could be heard snoring loudly from the front of the car and Gabriel was fast asleep having stayed up the previous night driving.

Sam enjoyed the sound of the wind howling around the car, and the even breathing of Beth next to him. He wrapped his arms around her, and for a moment, forgot how shitty the apocalypse truly was, before sleep claimed him. A blissfully dreamless sleep.

AN: So here is the next chapter, sorry it took so long and I hoped that you did enjoy it. So, I've been thinking about a couple of one shots for Sam in the Walking dad, either AU's or just random scenes that would be cool or interesting, like him when he was with his gang in the beginning or AU's where he's in America stuff like that. Thoughts? I just got in the mood for that stuff since it's the holiday season now and why not you know. Anyway, review and I'll see you guys next time! ~Pacco1