Ch. 37

"So, then you just guide the knife along the edge of the blade. There's no real trick to it, but what I like to do is have something that's usually tough to cut nearby, just to test it, aye?" Sam said to Rory as he ran his knife along a whetstone. The boy had been having trouble with his knife, penetrating the skulls of Walkers and the like, so Sam had asked if he had been keeping it sharp. The boy had simply blinked and said 'It's a knife, it's already sharp.'

"Y-yeah," Rory said his eyes elsewhere and his knife barely gliding against the whetstone.

"Alrigh', so do it."

"Right!" Rory jumped and began running the knife roughly along the sharpener, his face flushing beet red.

"Are you alrigh' lad?"

"Yeah! Yeah, of course!" Rory stopped his heavy movements and went back to those that were too soft, and then his face went back up.

Sam raised an eyebrow and followed Rory's gaze. The camp that they had erected was pretty standard. A central fire laid in the center while their containers filled with food were strung up among the trees where they also slept. The only thing that remained on the ground were the vehicles, but as they were about to move out, the group was bustling about trying to load their supplies into the cars. But the car that little Rory was staring at was where little Prim was loading supplies.

"Well Rory, I can see that you're not exactly thinking about the knife you have in your hand right now." Rory looked up and his face was even redder than it had been the first time.

"W—what? No! I, uh, no Sam!"

He began laughing and sheathed his knife. "It's fine, this isn' a reprimanding, I mean Hell, go for it far as I'm concerned. Just remember why we're here." Sam stood and slung his bag over his shoulder. "Go and help her load, I need to find Darrius."

"Right here boss!" Sam turned and saw the dark-skinned swordsman walking toward him. "What do you need?"

"A soft bed and warm mean." They laughed and Ethan walked over carrying his map.

"Not to mention a shower. We all smell like shit."

"Aye to that. Lay the map down. Right, so we've been hitting them all along the I-95, and then here at the 88. It's starting to get cold again though, snows 'll come soon—"

"And we'll be without shelter freezing our dicks off," Ethan said. "I say we head back, we've done all we can this year. Take the winter off, start back in the spring."

"Agreed. Sam, I say we dump the Librarians back, then we go home."

"Sounds good. How many did we get? I mean, we've been at this four months, how many do you think we've got?"

Darrius stroked his beard and began counting in his head. "Fifty, at least. There were a lot of the bastards."

"Yeah, and we didn't even do a dent in his numbers. Fuck!"

"Calm down Ethan, this has got a lot of men. And they know about us, about what we do. If anything, we've scared his men. Not him, obviously, but his men, definitely."

The bikes stormed down the road and Sam couldn't stop thinking about the soft warm bed that he was going to lay in after his long hot shower and delicious meal. He felt giddy and the smile on his face couldn't be wiped off. The others were also oozing happiness as they neared home.

The familiar faces and rooms. It would be nice after their time out in the world, surrounded by Walkers and Saviors. When they entered the Kingdoms limits and the gates came into view Ethan let out a 'Whoop!' of excitement and waved to the lookouts.

They rode through and slowed down before coming to a stop in the center of the Kingdom. A crowd began to gather around them and the children of the Kingdom began asking a million questions a minute, others looked at their bikes and sat on them, one kid actually went through one of Sam's saddlebags.

A dog busted from the crowd and tackled Sam to the ground and began to lick him fiercely.

"Bastard! I missed you too lad!" Sam got to a knee and began to pet the dog and scratch him behind the ear. "You look well-fed boy, I guess I have the kids of the Kingdom to thank for that."

"Enough!" A silence overtook the people of the Kingdom as Ezekiel's powerful voice boomed. "I am sure that you all have many questions for our brave men, but now is not the time. Now is the time for respite, brave ones, if you would follow me."

"Thank you m'lord." Sam bowed as he and the others followed the King.

"How goes the fight?" Ezekiel asked as Sam scrubbed his face clean of the dirt of the past four months. They were in the rooms that Ezekiel had prepared for Sam and the others when they returned. It was a large room with two tall windows that let in plenty of sunlight.

"As well as could be expected. We hit them as best we could, at first, they didn't even know what was happening. After the third convoy hey caught on, avoided cross streets and the like. We hit them where we can when we can. I didn't want to be out there with the group for the winter."

"Wise decision. If war were to befall us, would we stand a chance?"

"I'm not sure. If we got the Hilltop to fight, maybe. But there are too many variables. When the winter ends I want to go out and find more of the communities that they have under their boots. Recruit more like we did at the Library. But even then, it'll be a longshot."

The King nodded and walked to the window. He observed the children playing on the motorcycles and people walking about as if the apocalypse was not going on. Most of the people of the Kingdom were innocent when it came to the horror, and Ezekiel wanted it to stay that way.

"Very well. Rest, do what you will. But when spring comes, do what you think is wise, and let slip the dogs of war."

Wine and whiskey were rare commodities in the apocalypse, Sam would rarely ever drink, seeing how it dulled his senses as well as it being harder and harder to find. But when the King had announced that there would be alcohol served with dinner that night, the people of the Kingdom responded appropriately. They cheered and celebrated as they began to regain even more normalcy.

Sam himself was happy but told himself he would not go past two glasses. But that idea was thrown out the window as soon as Ethan and Darrius sat next to him with a bottle and three glasses.

"Are you kidding me?" Sam said as they began to pour. "No, I'm good lads."

"Come on Sam, we've earned it. Four months with nothing but guns, guts, and Walkers. We could use a little booze." Darrius said as he took a sip.

"Not to mention I've never banged sober," Ethan said as he downed his entire glass on one shot. "Oh, wow that's good."

Sam smiled as he saw Ethan tear up a bit. "You've never banged period, and if you can't handle the whiskey, don't drink the fucking whiskey, it's a waste at that point." Sam took his glass and sipped it as well.

"Please, I've banged plenty of times!" Ethan said as he poured himself another glass. "But I got a certain doctor Finch in my sights tonight."

Sam and Darrius rolled their eyes, knowing full well that Finch was more likely to cut his balls off with a scalpel then let him into her bed.

"Good luck with that one," Sam said.

"What about you Sam? Any girls in your sights tonight?" Darrius asked as he finished his first glass.

Sam laughed and shook his head. "No, I—no."

"What the maidens of the Kingdom not to your taste?" Darrius ginned and leaned back in his seat.

"Yeah, Sammy? Those girls not to your liking?" Sam froze and sobered as he felt a hand rest on his chest. "What's the matter? Cat got your tongue?"

"Sam?"

"Uh right. Nothing wrong with the girls of the Kingdom, just—"

"Just what Sam?" Beth asked innocently.

"I should go."

He slammed his door shut and locked it as if it would keep a hallucination at bay. He moved to the windows and shut the blinds leaving his room in darkness besides the soft orange glow if the single lamp in the room.

"You were gone. I didn't see you for—"

"For four months. While you were out there in the fight. Interesting timing don't you think?" Beth strode around his room. "Nice upgrade from that broom closet that they gave you when you first got here."

"Go away." Sam took a quivered breath and looked at her. "Please."

"Why didn't you look? You were out there for four months, and what? You never thought to look for us?"

"There wasn't any time."

"Bullshit. You had plenty of time. How long was there between raids?" Sam swallowed his response. "Find us, Sam. You have a base, you have resources, find us!"

"The King will see you now," Jerry told Sam just as a gust of wind blew through the courtyard. It was definitely getting colder, but the snows had yet to fall. Sam was still on the fence on going out to look for the group, but the nagging feeling in the back of his mind, reinforced by the hallucination of Beth was making him want to go out.

He approached the throne, no longer fazed by Shiva, and fell to one knee. "M'lord."

"Samuel! I thought you would still be resting. After last nights celebrations and your time on the road, I assumed you would need the respite."

"I, well, I welcome the respite m'lord, however, guilt is keeping me from enjoying the relief." Ezekiel leaned forward in his chair and motioned for Sam to continue. "My original group is out there. They said that they were heading toward D.C. and, I need to find them. I am here to request that you allow me to go out, to find them."

"And when spring returns? What will you do then?" Ezekiel asked a bit snippily. "What if you were to fall?"

"Darrius is more than capable to lead the Raiders. Besides I'm sure that I'll be back before the snows melt. I spent more than half a year by myself, I can handle three months."

Ezekiel looked a bit apprehensive about it, but Sam knew that whatever the King said, he would go. He would much rather go out and deal with the cold than deal with the hallucinations for the next three months.

"I do not know if the Kingdom is prepared to lose you this suddenly."

"I'm not leaving completely. I'll be gone a week at a time before returning. M'lord, I need to find them." Beth appeared behind the throne followed by Rick, ten Merle, Daryl, Glenn, Maggie. "I need to find them, I've spent far too long not looking." Sam could feel the full force of the guilt washing over him as he spoke to the King. Not only the guilt but the loneliness of the road and the trauma that it had done to him.

"I will permit you to go," The King began, "but you must take one of your men with you. This is a crucial time for the Kingdom, and we cannot afford to lose you."

Allen rode beside Sam through the Virginian backwoods quickly. They had left the Kingdom a week ago and were now going through the country looking through settlements hoping to find anyone that had seen Rick and company. They started with the Library and then a few of the smaller outlying communities before Sam decided that the Hilltop might have the answers he was looking for.

So now he and Allen were pulling up to the gates of Hilltop awaiting their leader so they could gain entrance.

"You think you'll find them here?" Allen asked.

"Probably not. If Rick was here then he would already be the leader, arrogant prick."

"You don't like the guy?"

"Course I like 'im. Its jus' that it's either his way or the highway. Literally sometimes. Good guy, a bit brutal, but good."

"Brutal? Coming from you?" Allen laughed.

"Ha ha, fuck you too."

Someone finally called out to them and Sam looked up to see a bat balding man with a beard looking down at him and Allen.

"Can I help you?"

Sam smiled and stood up from his bike. "Hi there. Gregory, is it? My names Samuel, Samuel Conall. Now, I jus' have a couple of questions and then my colleague and I'll be on our way."

"Who are you?"

"I jus' said—"

"No, I mean who do you work for?"

"Myself. Now look, I just need you to tell me if you've heard of a man named Rick Grimes?"

Gregory blinked and took a step back on the platform that was connected to the wall around the Hilltop. He looked around at several of the lookouts all of whom were staring at Sam a bit wide-eyed.

"You know Rick?" And Sam felt his heard sore.

"There's a group that we've been serving. They call themselves the Saviors. Rick helped us take care of them in exchange for a trade deal between our two communities." Gregory explained. "That was a few days ago, they've gone home but they're be expected to be back in a few days."

Sam couldn't wipe the smile off of his face when he heard that Rick was still kicking but more than that, he was leading a community.

"Where are they?"

"Excuse me?"

"His community, where is it?"

"Jesus knows."

"Look, I don't exactly have time for praying so tell me where the fucking place is!"

"No!" Gregory said hastily. "No one of our men is called Jesus. You'll understand in a minute."

A man with long brown hair walked in with a face and beard much resembling that of modern-day representations of Jesus, and for a moment Sam was a bit shaken by what he was seeing.

"Ah, well, it seems you do represent Jesus," Allen said. "Nice to meet you, names Allen."

Jesus smiled and shook Allen's hand. "Good to meet you. You're Sam right, one of ricks crew?"

"I was. We got separated and left behind. I've been trying to find them for the past year. You know where they're at?"

"I should, they held me prisoner."

Sam actually smiled. "Yeah, that sounds like Rick."

The ride took another hour. Sam could feel his stomach churn with every second that it took to get there. His mind kept flashing through different scenarios. One where Rick and the others would embrace him. Another where they would shun him. One where they would all be alive, then one where most had died. Sam's mind was often overactive, hence the hallucinations, but now instead of making him see the ones he loved, it made him imagine what they would say.

"We're getting close," Jesus said from his seat behind Sam. "Another hour and we'll be there! Stay on this road!"

Sam nodded and sped up. He could feel his guts still churning, but then a small bit of anger began bubbling to the surface. They had left him, just left him alone with limited food. Was it the right choice, probably. But it still hurt like a son of a bitch that they didn't at least look for him, or send a scout of two to see if he was close.

"What's the name of the place?" Sam shouted over to Jesus.

"Alexandria." That sounded familiar.

"What a minute. I think—" Crack!

A small amount of blood hit the back of Sam's head and he felt Jesus' body slump against his back before it tumbled off the bike.

"Shit! Allen, Saviors!" Sam drew his pistol and ducked low on his bike. "Zig-Zag!"

Allen and Sam began to intertwine their bikes in figure eights while shots zoomed over their heads and peppered the ground. Sam could see several muzzle flashes coming from both sides of the road. Sam fired blindly into the brush but the Saviors kept firing.

"Sam, where do we go?" Allen shouted over the gunfire.

"Keep going. They stalked out I doubt they have cars!" Just then two jeeps rode out of the brush and began chasing after Sam and Allen. "Fuck me and my big mouth!"

Men popped out of the passenger seats and firing at Sam and Allen.

"Where?"

"Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck! Allen split up, we'll circle round and meet up at the Library!" Sam turned quickly and then began driving through the woods before Allen could confirm the plan. One of the Saviors jeeps cut after him and Sam emptied what was left in his clip in their direction but the car simply kept coming at him. "Oh, you little fucker! Come on!"

He heard a loud pop from behind him and the bike began to wobble before it fell and scraped against the forest floor. Sam felt warm blood began to leak out of his leg and then the bike came to a sudden stop as it hit a tree.

The Saviors jeep circled around and Sam slid his leg out of the wreckage and slung his rifle that he had across his back for the ride forward bringing it to bear. "Come on. Come and get me."

"Left side!"

"Negan wants him alive!"

"Fuck that, he tries to kill me—" Sam popped out of cover and sent a burst of fire toward the voices before he went back down. "Shit! You good?"

"Fucker got me in the leg."

"Nice shot!" Sam sighed and shook his head hoping to clear it. The last thing he needed was Beth in the firefight.

"I'll get you in the head before long!" Sam shouted as he slammed a fresh magazine into his rifle. "Why don' you all jus' run along, and I'll be on my way!"

The Saviors laughed and Sam could hear the rustling of their footsteps. "No can do. You and yours have been causing a lot of trouble for the Saviors. You've killed a couple of my friends."

"Yeah, I've killed a lot of people's friends, gonna have to be a bit more specific!" Sam laughed and then sent another blast of gunfire.

"Look at you getting all ruthless!" Beth squealed. "Come on Sammy, get 'em!"

"Where's the rest of your group?"

"We're it! How's it feel to know that you lost all those men to just three guys?" Sam knew that taunting them was probably a bad idea, but what the hell, if he was going to die, it'd be with a smile. "To be honest, I don't know why anyone even fears you lot!"

A quick burst of gunfire hit the area he was hiding in and Sam laughed a bit madly. "Hit a nerve? How about this, one of you versus me. Winner goes free."

"They're not stupid Sammy."

"Go fuck yourself! Besides, Negan wants you alive!"

"I thought you didn't care about those orders! Besides, I'll manage to kill you lot before we even get there!"

More gunfire. But Sam didn't have to duck this time.

"Shit!"

"Behind us!"

Sam popped out, the two Saviors were firing into the woods while bullets were hitting the ground around them. Sam ended the brief firefight with a few quick shots to their heads. The silence overtook the forest and Sam scanned the trees looking for those that had saved him. He couldn't see anything other than the trees and gun smoke.

"Wonder who was helping you out. Allies, killers?" Beth whispered. "Maybe they're coming for you right now."

"Who's there?" Sam asked. "You have the drop on me, so do it, or come on out."

"Sam?" He recognized that voice. Sam smiled.

"Holy shite! Rory, that you?" Sam laughed and rested his back on the tree he had taken cover behind.

"Sam! Thank god! Saviors came in! We need your help!" Rory came out of the brush with Prim and another boy that had been in the group, Damien. "We got out and were trying to circle around and flank 'em."

"Shite, why are they hitting you?"

"Someone ratted us out. Surrounded the Library and just started shooting." Rory said. "We tried to hold 'em off but, there was a lot of 'em."

"Shite. Who sold you out?"

"Some asshole that stayed behind. He waited for us to be back in case it wasn't a Savior trap."

"Oh wow! What does that mean for the Kingdom," Beth said quietly.

"Not a damn thing, I never told them about it," Sam said quickly.

"Sam?" Rory asked.

"Nothing! Look we need to— Allen! Allen's going to the Library!" Sam realized. "We need to go! We need to—come on!"

Sam limped s fast as he could with Rory and the others leading and clearing the way for him. The woods were still crawling with Saviors and the dead from the Library were beginning to rise leading to the woods being filled with gunfire and screaming, which also made sneaking from the Saviors rather easy.

Sam could feel more blood flowing out of his leg with each step and soon enough he was feeling lightheaded. Beth was talking to him as well, telling him how he was most likely going to die of blood loss if the Walkers didn't get him. And despite it all, Sam could only think of how that would be an absolute shit way to go.

More Walkers appeared and Rory's group opened up on the dead. Sam began to lag behind them more and more with each step, and soon enough his vision began to get hazy, and then he fell to the ground. His foot was practically being pickled by his own blood in his boot and he could barely hold his own breath in his lungs.

"Sam!"

"Rory! Go! Go, leave me!" Sam felt his back fall on the forest floor and then darkness began to close in around his eyes. "Go. Go."

More gunshots filled his ears and he heard Rory shout for help. Someone came to his side and grabbed his face, patting it and telling him to stay awake. Before the darkness took him completely, he thought about how much he hated the hallucinations.

AN: So some stuff happened. Yes, Jesus is dead and the Library is destroyed even though the Library wasn't very important in terms of location. Rory is going to be a rather important character moving forward and yeah, that is about it. Review! ~Pacco1