A/N: Hey everyone so I thought to give myself a day's break from writing just because I wanted time to wind down and relax. Since I'm in the midst of catching up on TWD I saw the season 7 premiere. Yikes. No literally what the fuck. That was the most intense shit ever and it was so brilliantly written but I was bawling like a freaking baby. I'm excited to see more of Negan because Jeffrey Dean Morgan is a fantastic actor.

Anyways thanks to everyone who read this story and at enjoying it! I'm sorry but this chapter isn't very action filled and is quite chill as well but hopefully after this one I'll ramp it up again.

Thanks to CLOESOME and Ryane for following this story and Lizard21 for following me! I'm dedicating this chapter to you guys and to my awesome reviewers:

frosiedog: lol yes the peaceful chapter was needed after that emotionally draining drama! Haha yeah initially I thought of giving her a romantic storyline with Glenn which would cause some discourse with Maggie but I decided to scrap that. Ah yes the Otis incident, you'll see more and more how the guilt is weighing heavily on poor Pol.

JasminJW: Aww thanks I hope you continue to enjoy it!

FnafAnimeGirl109: yeah the peacefulness was needed. this was one is also pretty chill, more focused on the relationships as opposed to the action. still drama though don't worry. Shane continue to be a knobhead xD.

Lizard21: I'm also interested to see how I deal with that scheme xD. I'm glad you're liking this story. Ahh so you think they're quite similar? I mean in terms of their lines of thinking are quite similar but I think as people they're different.

Disclaimer: I do not own the Walking dead or any of it's affiliated characters or storylines, only my OC and my plotlines.

-Angels and Douchebags

I woke up the next day on the couch in the spare room the sun streaming in through the curtains. I looked at the clock and the time said 6.30am. Nope not happening. I turned over and went back to bed, there's no way I'm ever going to voluntarily wake up at this time. Apocalypse or not.. Nope not happening . Nope not happening

A few hours later I was woken up by someone shaking my shoulder. I opened my eyes and saw the brunette haired Maggie leaning over me. I jumped seeing her presence, the images of Otis getting eaten to death leaving my head now that I was awake.

"Hey, Rick told me to wake you." She said and stepped back giving me some space to sit up. I took the blanket off me and rubbed my eyes.

"What time is it?"

"A little past 10. They're gonna organise the search for Sophia." She explained undoing the curtains in the room next to the living room.

"Right." I said fixing my clothes. I lifted my shirt up slightly and peeled the bandage back gently to see the stomach wound was healing and let out a sigh of relief. Then I remembered last night. Lori. She was definitely hiding something. But then so am I.

"Thanks for letting me know." I said smiling.

"I should probably sleep over where the rest of the group is." I said folding the blanket.

"Nonsense! You can keep sleepin' here on the couch if ya like." She said taking the blanket from me.

"Really?" I asked looking up at the taller woman.

"Yeah! Besides its nice havin' another woman to talk to." She grinned.

"I'm sure you prefer Glenn's company though don't you?" I teased her smirking as she froze slightly and a serious look passed over her face.

"He told you?" She asked disbelievingly.

"Nah he would never. But it was written all over his face." I shrugged as she continued busying herself around the room.

"Besides," I stopped her holding her arm.

"Since we're friends, you can tell me this kind of thing. If you want." I added. Some distraction would be nice from constantly thinking about what I had done to Otis at Shane's blackmailing.

"Friends?" She asked.

"Yeah sure." I grinned at her which she returned. After washing my face in the bathroom I laced up my boots and changed into a different T-shirt I found in one of the suitcases we scavenged and headed outside to see the others. I walked over to where the tents and RV was set up and saw Carol and Lori hanging up clothes.

"I'm sorry guys, please wake me up on laundry day." I put my hands on my hips feeling guilty for not helping out.

"That's what I was just sayin'," Lori said.

"Hey Pol, I was just talking about how it would be nice if we cooked Hershel and his family dinner as a little thanks." Carol said as I took the wet shirt from her and hung it up along the peg line.

"I think that's a great idea." I said.

"Mornin' guys let's get going, we got a lot of ground to cover." Rick walked in, Shane following closely behind him. He hadn't talked to me since the incident with Otis and honestly I was glad for it. Andrea was helping T-Dog cover up his arm who was looking a lot better. I followed Rick and Shane to the car as Andrea, Daryl and T-Dog also gathered around.

Rick laid out the map on the car.

"All right, everyone's getting new search grids today. If she made it as far as the farmhouse Pol and Daryl found she might have made it further East than we thought." Rick explained.

"Whoever slept in that cupboard we found couldn't have been that big." I said as Daryl put on his shirt beside me.

"It's a good lead, maybe we'll pick up a trail." Rick nodded.

"No maybe about it. Imma borrow a horse and go to this ridge here get a birds eye view." Daryl said studying the map.

"Maybe you'll find your chupacabra." T-Dog said jokingly and I snorted seeing Daryl glare at me.

"Do you really believe in that?" Jimmy asked.

"Do you believe in dead people jackass?" Daryl asked defensively which shut him up.

Jimmy picked up a weapon before Rick stopped him. The group dispersed with Jimmy going with Shane and Andrea.

"You comin' with me today? Pick up the trail we found?" Daryl asked slinging the crossbow on his back.

"Not today," I said and I swore I could see the disappointed look on his face.

"I think I'm gonna go with Rick and Shane." I said to him, which was true I wanted to see if Shane was truly capable of hurting him but if I was there, I could make sure it didn't happen.

"Okay, just be careful." Daryl said reaching his arm out to touch my shoulder as he glanced towards Shane. I followed his gaze and looked at Shane who was reloading his gun.

"Why do you say that?" I said raising my eyebrows.

"I dunno," He shrugged before walking away.

"Hey! Rick!" I called out and he turned around to face me.

"Mind if I tag along?" I asked holstering my gun and knife to my belt.

"Sure," He smiled. I stared at Shane intensely challenging him to protest against me coming but he said nothing. Two can play at that game bastard.

We walked into our search grid in the woods as Shane began marking the trees with a red cloth. It definitely wasn't a good time to think about it now, but walking behind Rick made me realise how beautifully fitted that brown shirt was to his body. Even though he was sweating. I know. Gross. Rick walked ahead with Shane walking behind him and I was in the middle to make sure he didn't try anything. Strangely enough it was completely silent, usually we couldn't get Shane to shut up but here he was saying nothing.

"I know you, Shane, well enough to know that there is only one sure-fire way of engaging you in a conversation." Rick turned around to smirk at Shane.

"..and that is to start asking you about girls you did in high school." Rick finished as Shane chuckled.

"Please Rick. Girl present here." I raised my hand as both men laughed.

"I don't want to but I'm willing to do it if that's what it takes." Rick teased.

"How about we not do that," I pleaded with Rick.

"Or you could talk about the boys you did in high school?" Rick turned around grinning at me.

"That's not funny." I rolled my eyes.

"And you don't get any details. First of all, we call it secondary school. And second in London I went to an all girls school." Shane and Rick looked at each other smirking.

"Oi you perverts not like that." I chuckled hitting Rick on the shoulder.

"I was impressionable back in the day." Rick stated making Shane laugh.

"And I may have been living vicariously through Shane." He smirked walking through more trees.

"Why wouldn't you? With my impressive list of accomplishments?" Shane puffed out his chest.

"Keep the sexist and degrading comments coming boys." I shook my head trying to tune out their conversation but they continued to ignore me.

"I was an artist in his prime. A protege." Shane continued talking.

"Think you mean prodigy." I interjected and Rick chuckled.

"Maybe. That what you call a high school stud that bangs 30-year-olds on the regular?" He asked licking his lips making Rick laugh.

"Please you did not bang 30-year-olds." I scoffed.

"What 30 year old were you banging in high school?" Rick agreed chuckling disbelievingly.

"The P.E. Teacher." Shane stated rolling his shoulders.

"You had to ask him about his love life?" I narrowed my eyes at Rick who laughed.

"What about your high school love life then Pol?" Shane challenged me raising his eyebrows.

"Wait no let me guess," Shane mockingly thought about it.

"Virgin."

"I will not hesitate to shoot your dick off." I said deadly serious staring at him and he raised his hands up in surrender.

"You got anything to add?" I looked at Rick who was trying hard not to laugh.

"No ma'am." He coughed and we kept walking through the woods talking about our old lives until conversation stopped and we went silent. After a while it was Shane who spoke up.

"What are we doing here?" He asked talking to me and Rick.

"What do you mean?" He asked him running a hand through his hair.

"We got every able bodied man out looking for a girl we both know is likely dead." Shane said taking his baseball cap off.

"You don't know that." I shot back at him causing him to glare at me.

"What do you wanna do abandon the search?" Rick asked.

"Survival, Rick. It means making hard decisions." Shane walked ahead of us causing Rick to give me an indecipherable look.

"We don't kill people Shane. We don't leave them to die." Rick emphasised his point and I looked down to the ground. Shane was trying to justify leading Otis to die. Forcing me to kill him, blackmailing me. He was trying to ease his own guilty conscious. I remembered Daryl's words. To talk to someone about it before it ate me up inside. I was getting to that point, losing the will to keep it to myself. Not being able to tell anyone was killing me. But how would I go about telling him? By the way Me and Shane killed Otis and I also started the Apocalypse. Sorry.

"You're spreading us thinner and thinner. I'm trying to save lives here." Shane said almost genuinely.

"That's bullshit." I spat out.

"What'd you say?" Shane turned around threateningly.

"I said that's bullshit." I said one hand on my hip and the other hovering over where my knife was.

"What are you saying Shane? That Sophia isn't worth saving?" I asked him.

"Don't you dare twist my words that's not what I mean. I'm saying do you honestly think we're gonna find Sophia alive?" He turned his attention to Rick who remained silent.

"Are you that sure we won't?" he said walking up to Shane.

"You want honesty?"

"That's what I'm askin' for." Rick said.

"If we had just moved on man we would've been halfway to Fort Benning and Cark wouldn't have gotten shot!" Shane turned around spitting out angrily at Rick. I looked at Rick and his jaw clicked in place holding his anger back.

"Your own son almost died! Otis, he paid that bill." Shane said looking down.

"Are you sure you wanna point fingers Shane?" I challenged him causing Rick to look at me for a moment. Shane started coming towards me threateningly before Rick stood slightly in front of me.

"And you," Shane rounded on me.

"Man you just let her into our group and we know nothin' about her! How do you know she's genuine? Do you know anything about her past? How do you know she won't hurt us?" Shane spoke directly towards Rick. Rick looked sideways back at me for a moment then back on him.

"I don't need to know about her past. She's risked her life to help me and save Carl's life that's all I need to know." My stomach did flip flops at his comment. Shane could tell him right now. Or I could. Then he'd hate me again. He would never look at me the same for killing Otis. And he would definitely never look at me for knowing the outbreak was unintentionally down to me when I was a researcher.

"Unless you know somethin'," Rick said looking him in the eyes for a moment. I looked at Shane. I'm gonna tell Rick about what he did to Lori. But he decided against it.

"I'm just sayin' man. She doesn't belong here." Ouch. That hurt okay.

"You know what Shane, you've been on my case since the first day I joined the camp. I'm an equal member of this group and I deserve a second chance." I said not fully believing in my own words.

"Rick, we've been out looking for Sophia for days. Who knows we'll even find her alive." Shane said turning around.

"I had her in my hand, Shane. She looked up into my eyes and trusted me. And I failed her. I know she's alive. I'm not gonna write her off." Rick said passionately making Shane scoff.

I saw a yellow cloth lying in the dirt on the floor. I bent down and turned it over in my hands inspecting it. It looked like it belonged to someone smaller.

"Hey," I called out as Rick bent down in front of me. I handed it to him and he looked at it smiling slightly.

"That's got to count for something?" I suggested and he nodded showing it to Shane who said nothing. We continued searching our perimeter for another couple of hours. I handed each of them a bottle of water plus a sandwich I had made from the Greene kitchen. Speaking of, I needed to get back to cook dinner for them with Carol and Lori.

Maybe I could talk to Lori about Shane's blackmailing. I feel like if anyone could remotely understand maybe it would be her. But she seemed to have her own problems. Like what was she doing out late that night. We all walked back in deliberate silence. I was personally pissed at Shane and wanted to punch him in the face again. Lori was waiting by the car as Shane walked off in silence by himself and Rick went to greet his wife.

"Hey," I said to her waving as she waved back. I found a good tree and decided to repeatedly stab it in the trunk for a good 5 minutes pretending it was Shane's face until my hand was hurting and the blade became slightly blunt. I sat down against the tree dropping the knife and putting my face in my hands. I took one hand off my face to see Lori and Rick looking my way slightly and talking. Great. Probably about how fucked up I am. Urgh. I buried my face back inside my hands. The next time I looked up Lori had her hands on Rick's cheeks forcing him to look at her and the expression on his face when he looked back. True love. I know its the apocalypse and there are bigger priorities but I had a huge crush on the man. And I couldn't help it.

"Wanna talk about whatever that is about?" Lori pointed to the tree trunk with several knife marks in it.

"I'd rather not." Lori nodded and began walking off.

"But, I wouldn't object to the company." I suggested and she sat down on the grass opposite me.

"What do you do, when you know you've fucked up. Big time, like it's affected lives to say the least. But no one knows what you did, but you still feel guilty. How do you, I don't know make up for it?" I asked her and she looked at me suspiciously before giving it some thought.

"Well, how big is the mess?" She asked putting her hands on her knees.

"Uh, pretty big." I chuckled.

"Have you talked to anyone about it?"

"No. Absolutely not." I shook my head.

"Well, you do your best to help the people you think whose lives you've affected. You strive in the way of doing good and beneficial things for other people." Lori said looking at me and I nodded.

"Is this about Otis?" she asked suddenly and I looked up to her eyes wide.

"Because that wasn't your fault. His death isn't on you. You don't have to carry that guilt around with you." She leaned a bit closer to me.

"You helped save my son. That's a debt I'll never be able to repay." She said seriously and I waved dismissively.

"I'm serious Polaris." She said forcing me to look at her.

"I don't know what you've been through, but you are a good person." She got up and held out a hand to me.

"Come on." I took her hand as she helped me out re-sheathing my knife.

"We're makin' dinner."

"It's the first time in ages I've seen a carrot peeler," Carol grinned making me and Lori laugh. I checked on the roast in the oven which was still cooking as Lori was cutting vegetables.

"Thank you Patricia for letting us into your house." Lori said to the woman who smiled back. We all started talking until we heard a loud gunshot coming from a rifle. Hershel, Maggie and me were the first to run out of the house followed by Lori and Carol.

"What on earth is goin' on out here?" Hershel shouted to Andrea who was on top of the RV.

"Rick!" Lori screamed. Andrea was looking shaken up and had gone completely pale with Dale standing up on the ladder to the RV.

"I'll check!" I shouted to Lori running across the field followed by Andrea and Dale. Rick and Shane had Daryl's arms around their shoulders. Daryl was bloody at his stomach and there was blood all over his face.

"Holy shit what happened?" I asked the men in question as Glenn was carrying Daryl's crossbow.

"oh my god. Is he dead?" Andrea panicked.

"Unconscious. You just grazed him." Rick said calmly.

"Why the hell did you shoot him?" I shouted at Andrea looking at the beaten up Daryl. Around his neck were... What the fuck. Are those walker's ears?

"I thought he was a walker!" She snapped back.

"Look what happened, are those ears?" Glenn said studying his neck.

"Let's keep that to ourselves." I said grabbing the ear necklace off his neck and putting it down my shirt making eye contact with Rick. T-Dog was holding a doll. Sophia. Shane took the doll from T-Dog and went back to the RV causing me to support Daryl's much taller frame on the other side throwing his arm around my neck.

"Dixon you look like shit." I said as we dragged him into the house making Daryl scoff. We put him onto the bed as Hershel gave him antibiotics and began stitching up the wound. Daryl was lying on his side on the bed with his shirt off and the map in front of him covered in grime in dirt. I began wiping the dirt off his face with my fingers and tried to clean some of the blood that was matted in his hair. Daryl swatted my hands away making me glare at him.

"Will you stop moving?" I berated him.

"You're a freakin' mother hen." He complained.

"I found that doll washed up by the creek here." He said to Rick pointing at the map.

"That cuts the grid up by half." Rick said in surprised.

"Yeah, your welcome." Daryl snapped.

"Turn." I ordered him but he was trying to move my hands.

"Daryl" I narrowed my eyes at him. He turned to face me letting me wipe the dirt and blood off his face. Rick, Shane and Hershel left the room leaving me alone with Daryl.

"You had quite a day." I stated as he leaned against the headboard saying nothing.

"Are we really gonna play 20 questions so I can find out what's bothering you?" I asked crossing my arms. Nope nothing.

"Daryl," I asked getting annoyed.

"What?" He said.

"You looked like a bloody Walker stumbling into camp, without a horse, bleeding in your midsection and on your face, covered in dirt and grime!" I said lowly.

"And this?!" I said disbelievingly pulling out the necklace of ears I stuffed in my shirt making Daryl raise his eyebrows.

"Care to tell what this is about?" I said handing it to him. He took it wordlessly but continued saying nothing.

"Fine. Be a dick about it. You told me though, that when something's bothering you, don't let it eat you up inside. I think you should take your own advice." I said to him before leaving the room.

"Can you get me some food?" Daryl shouted from behind.

"Maybe if you're good." I called out to him closing the door behind me. I walked out of the house seeing Andrea sitting on the porch. Immediately I felt guilty for snapping at her.

"How's he doing?" She asked as I sat next to her.

"Oh, he'll be fine." I said assuring her.

"Sorry by the way. For snapping at you before." I said sheepishly.

"Its okay. I just thought by the way you reacted you might you know, like him or something." Andrea said shrugging which made me laugh.

"What?" She asked looking offended.

"I mean I do like him, but he's a brother type to me. I connect with him in a weird way." I said trying to explain.

"How are you doing though?"

"I shot Daryl." She said looking down on the ground.

"Don't be too hard on yourself. We've all wanted to shoot Daryl. You've actually succeeded." I said smirking which made her break out into a big smile. About an hour later we had prepared dinner and we were all sitting at the table waiting for Lori and Carol to appear. Lori came downstairs but her eyes were puffy and cheeks slightly red. She had been crying. We all sat down and tucked down into our food quietly. I was sitting beside Rick and Lori with Shane opposite. Rick passed looks to Shane every now and then giving him the same looks I was giving him earlier. This was awkward. I don't think anyone was enjoying this dinner at all.

"Does anybody know how to play guitar?" Glenn asked from the smaller table with Maggie, Beth and Jimmy.

"Come on, somebody's gotta know how to play," He said smiling.

"Pol can." Rick said mouth full of food as I nudged his knee making him smirk.

"You can?" Lori asked.

"A little." I said feeling embarrassed the attention was on me.

"She's too modest. But she definitely can't sing." Rick said and a few chuckles broke out over the table. Rick nudged my knee with his making me smile. I don't know where this playful side of his came out but he was looking at me with a mischievous look in his eye.

"Otis did." Patricia said next to Hershel solemnly making me stop smiling instantly.

"Yeah and he was very good too." Hershel said. After dinner ended I saw Maggie and Glenn sneaking out of the house making me roll my eyes. Those kids were going to get caught I looked back at them shaking my head. I helped clear the plates away as I felt someone stand close to me.

"What, you don't approve?" I looked up as Rick spoke in a quiet voice.

"It's not that. They're going to get caught." I whispered looking over at Hershel who was in the kitchen clearing up. I picked up the glasses and put them in the plate.

"That's half of the fun." Rick said smirking, I just shook my head.

"What, you never snuck out when you were younger?" He asked.

"Didn't have anyone to sneak out with." I shrugged passing the plate to him.

"You didn't date anyone?" Rick said looking surprised.

"Ever?"

"Why is that such a shock?" I said chuckling.

"I just though someone like you," Rick started trying to explain himself.

"Someone like me?" I asked him trying to get him to elaborate, enjoying the fact he was getting flustered.

"You're very," Rick opened then closed his mouth.

"Very?" I prompted him biting back a smile.

"Easy to get along with." Rick said after a while.

"Well having a good command of the english language helps." I smirked at him seeing how uncomfortable he was getting.

"You know what I mean." Rick said rolling his eyes.

"What do you mean?" I asked looking at him directly this time.

"Well, you're fun."

"Smart. Witty. Opinionated. Funny." Rick said listing things off.

"Do I really need to explain why I like you?" Rick smiled making me stare at him.

"As a friend." He put his hands up cheeks turning red.

"Am I making you nervous?" I said shocked slightly.

"Nervous? No. Why would I be?" He chuckled slightly.

"You tell me Rick." I said fully smiling.

"I think I'm gonna go get a drink." He chuckled uneasily walking off. Oh my god. I think Rick found me hot? I hope I didn't read too much into that and thought it was something it's not. But a nervous Rick Grimes, probably the cutest thing I had ever seen. That's not fair Rick when I've got a huge crush on you. And you've got a wife. That didn't stop me from smiling.

"What are you looking so happy about?" Beth said smiling at my expression.

"Uh nothing." I stammered grinning at her.

A/N: I could not resist having that cute fluffiness there at the end. I mean it's a romance story, what do you expect...