A/N: Back with another chapter for you all. bear with me, this is a much shorter chapter than the last one and has more emotion and dialogue. It's not one of my best chapters, so please be gentle.
Thank you to everyone who reads this story including Fanficfan20XX and Kleo Drako who are now following! And I wouldn't be anywhere without my lovely reviewers to keep me going! But I've noticed some of you have disappeared... have y'all lost interest? :/
JasminJW: I know the Lori scene was hard to write! Thank you though.
Ryane: I'm going to interpret your response as, the chapter was so mind-blowingly amazing that it rendered you speechless :p
Disclaimer: I do not own the Walking Dead or any affiliated characters and storyline. only my OC and plotline.
- Angels and Douchebags
The baby was crying in Maggie's arms as I continued to hold Rick who's head was laying in my lap and was sobbing gently. I could feel my own tear stained face and did not have the heart to hear the cries of Lori's baby. I had nothing to say to Rick. Nothing that would make him feel better, after all he had lost his wife. I had never seen him so broken.
"Rick," I said gently nudging him as the sound of crying from the baby got louder. I pushed him up until he was sitting down on the ground and stood up in front of him. He was on his feet but his eyes were unfocused, his head was moving around and he was breathing heavily. No longer crying but completely out of it.
"Where's T-Dog and Carol?" I asked the group and Glenn shook his head.
"They didn't make it." I felt my heart lurch in my chest and felt the tears falling freely down my cheek. That was three friends. Three friends we lost today.
"Rick you need to go to her," I urged him to go to his new-born baby but he was unresponsive. Seeing Maggie struggling with her, I looked at Daryl who took my place in front of Rick, trying to get his attention.
"Rick," Daryl bent down on one knee in front of him, waving his had in front of his face.
"Can he hear me?" Daryl turned to me.
"I don't know, I'm worried." I said as Maggie handed the crying baby into my arms. I wiped the tears from my face and tried to keep a clear head. We hadn't actually found the bodies so there's a chance that they're still alive.
"Shh," I held and rocked her in my arms but she continued crying. Carl was standing by my side looking solemn and held his arms out. I gently passed his little sister to him so he could calm her down.
"Let me see the baby," Hershel said standing by Beth. Carl brought her over to Hershel as Daryl followed him. I walked back over to Rick seeing him on one knee staring at the ground.
"Rick," I said louder this time making his blue eyes focus on me.
"Let's stand up," I looked at him as he nodded wordlessly. He took my arm as support and stood up on his own two feet. I let him keep his hand on my arm for support.
"We got anythin' a baby can eat?" Daryl asked Hershel. I held Rick's hand and led him over to the rest of the group. I glanced up at him every so often, to see his eyes trained on the ground or in front of him. But he was spaced out. I was getting worried for him. Carl needed him, his new baby daughter needed him.
"The good news is, the baby's healthy but we need to get her some formula and soon or she won't survive." Hershel stated checking the baby.
"Nope no way," Daryl said looking serious, slinging the crossbow over his back.
"We ain't losin' anybody else I'm goin' for a run." Daryl said decidedly.
"I'll back you up." Maggie's voice was thick with emotion.
"I'll go too." Glenn said.
"I'll come with you too guys." I said as Daryl shook his head.
"No." He said.
"Why?" I asked surprised he was trying to stop me. I let go of Rick's hand eyeing him cautiously as Daryl placed a hand on my back and guided me over so we were standing next to Beth away from the group.
"Beth, kid just lost his mom, dad ain't doin' so hot," Daryl began.
"I'll look out for him," Beth intervened before walking off to where Carl was.
"Pol, you gotta stay here. Rick's not doin' good, he's gonna need ya to be there for him." Daryl stated.
"How is me being there going to help?" I asked grumpily, the way Rick was in he didn't want anyone near him.
"He's gonna be out of it for a while. When he comes to, you're closest to him an' he cares bout you, you gotta be here." Daryl said firmly. I was admittedly shocked that Daryl had picked up on the closeness I had with Rick, for a man who didn't say much he was definitely observant. I nodded and he patted my arm.
"Be safe," I called out to him and he nodded.
"Come on, let's go." He said to Maggie and Glenn as they walked off towards the cars.
I turned back to the others seeing Hershel with Carl and Beth holding the baby. Rick suddenly snapped out of it and put his pistol into his holster. He picked up the hatchet and walked straight up the stairs inside the cellblock without saying a word.
"Rick!" Maggie called out worriedly.
"Don't worry, I'll go." I said as she nodded. I looked at Carl who followed his father with his eyes.
"Hey buddy, I'll take care of your dad alright?" I said to Carl bending down slightly. He nodded as I squeezed his arm and jogged to catch up to Rick realising my arms and clothes were still stained with dried up blood.
I pulled back the handle of the heavy metal door and pulled out my machete, in case any unsavoury characters were waiting for us. I walked down the dark corridor eyeing the walls warily still in disbelief as to how the horrors of the day had unfolded in front of us. I stopped for a minute in shock then realised: where were Carol and T-Dog? All the events that had just transpired in the last hour and they were nowhere to be seen. I had to pray we would find them and they weren't dead.
Rounding a corner I saw two directions. One led straight down to more of the cell blocks and going right was a closed metal gate. I heard the faint sounds of slashing coming from the gated corridor and opened it jogging down the corridor. I came to a standstill seeing Rick grunting and hacking through multiple Walkers without giving himself a break.
A walker stumbled out from the empty cell nearby and came up behind Rick with the full intention of biting him. I sprung into action and rushed forward slicing the head clean off as it's body slumped to the floor.
Rick turned around at the sound, his hair sweating and matted to his neck, breathing heavily with the bloody hatchet in his hand. His eyes locked in mine for a second as I reached my hand out towards him. He retracted away and walked off wordlessly going down more corridors.
If he wasn't going to say anything I was at least going to keep an eye on him. I followed him, walking a safe distance given the fact his behaviour was volatile and erratic.
"Rick, you need to come outside." I said firmly as he flinched for a minute.
"You have Carl who needs you, a baby daughter who needs you." I said in a softer tone as he stopped walking in front of me. I could see his back muscles clench and tense through the t-shirt.
"I know you're hurting Rick, I know you've lost Lori. We loved her, we all loved her." I said before Rick spun around looking at me furiously.
"What do you know?" He said in a low voice walking towards me.
"You don't know. You don't know anything about this loss." He spat until he was in front of me.
"I know you don't believe that, you're just saying because you're hurting bad right now." I said sympathetically trying to stay strong in my resolve.
"But you have to try and be strong." I said taking a step closer to him.
"Please," I whispered.
"Let me help you." I placed a hand on his cheek and for a second I swore I saw him respond to the touch. Then his eyes went from warm to cold once more and he stalked off. I sighed sadly and decided to follow him. He was going to get killed if he wasn't careful.
"Rick!" I shouted running after him.
"Why are you following me?" He turned around with a wild look in his eyes.
"Rick come back, be with Carl and your baby daughter. Grieve together for Lori." I said softly trying to talk sense into him.
"Leave me alone." He said harshly.
"If you think, I'm going to leave you alone for one second when you're like this? Reckless and erratic, then you're mistaken. I'm not going anywhere." I stood my ground and Rick nodded curtly. This time he slowed down and allowed me to follow him as we continued down the darkened corridors which were littered with bodies.
He stopped staring at the wall which was marred with blood as he had just finished down cutting more Walkers. I saw a light being shone from behind and turned around relieved when I saw Glenn. He came up to me and put a hand on my shoulder. I looked back to Rick as Glenn stepped forward.
"I tried, but he won't listen to me." I said lowly. Glenn nodded and stepped forward slowly seeing the bloody hatchet Rick was holding in one hand.
"Rick," Glenn spoke the man in question didn't even acknowledge his presence.
"Hey everybody's worried about you." He said tentatively stepping closer to him with the torch.
"You shouldn't be in here, come on out." Glenn side stepped around the bodies until he was in front of him as Rick finally registered him.
"Rick, you don't have to do this all by yourself." Glenn repeated. Rick looked at him then glanced to me and around the hallway looking like he couldn't concentrate on what we were saying. I walked over the dead Walkers and came and stood by Glenn.
"You have us Rick. Me and Glenn. And everybody else." I said as he looked at me, his once blue soulful eyes looking dark and desolate.
"Okay, our cell-block's clear, we just need to close all the doors again. Why don't you just come out with us Rick." Glenn said looking at him in the eyes.
"Okay? Rick?" Glenn placed a hand on his shoulder as Rick slammed his body against the wall with his arm under his neck.
"Rick!" I shouted in alarm coming over to help Glenn. Glenn shook his head and gestured for me to stay back. He was remarkably calm as Rick held his gaze against the wall. Then suddenly Rick released him and threw him forwards just letting me catch Glenn so he wouldn't fall over. He took one last dark look at Glenn before turning around and slowly walking away.
"Now what?" Glenn asked frustrated running a hand through his hair.
"I'll stay with him." I said decidedly.
"Are you crazy? With the state he's in, it's not safe." Glenn said incredulously.
"Rick won't hurt me." I said firmly.
"Pol, you should come back with me." Glenn sighed.
"He won't hurt me." I said firmly. Glenn thought about it for a moment then resigned.
"Okay, but if he tries anything, do what you have to do. Don't hesitate." Glenn said and I gulped understanding what he meant. If Rick tried to hurt me, or got too aggressive, I would have to hurt him just as bad. And I wasn't sure I could do that.
"Yeah," I said unconvincingly.
"Keep this on you." Glenn handed me a walkie talkie and I switched it on keeping it attached to my belt.
"If you need help, I'll be on, listening. Okay?" Glenn checked. I nodded and left him in the hallway walking off after Rick. I tried to remember the direction we were heading in but I was at a complete loss. I had only got here yesterday and had no idea how the prison worked or where to go.
At Woodbury
"8 months! For 8 months we were living on the road scavenging for food, I'm tired. I don't have another 8 months in me. Not like that." Andrea said passionately adjusting the pack on her back. Michonne continued looking at her then eyed Merle with the gate open.
Their path was clear and she was intending to take it. Michonne believed they should leave right there and then. But with the way Andrea was acting. She didn't want to leave.
"And you, I-" Andrea was at a loss for words. Michonne gave her a snarky look then looked down.
"What about me?" She challenged Andrea to answer.
"I'm afraid you're gonna disappear." Andrea sighed. Michonne's eye was twitching as she looked up to meet Andrea's gaze, her face contorting into a frown.
"We always talked about this place, a refuge. That idea is what kept the 3 of us going." Andrea tried to make us understand.
"Pol left okay. That was up to her, she embarked in a suicide mission. I doubt she's still out there." Andrea scoffed as Michonne gave her a sharp look.
"I know she's our friend. But she made her own choice." Andrea stated.
"She didn't feel safe here. Her gut instinct told her it wasn't safe." Michonne said pointing to the ground.
"You don't know what she's been through, how I found her the first time. We should've gone after her, we shouldn't have left her out there." Michonne said regretfully.
"Are you comin' or not?" She asked Andrea who's face morphed into confusion.
"Don't do this. Don't give me an ultimatum. Not after everything." Andrea shook her head taking a step back.
"Are you comin' or not?" Michonne repeated her statement. Andrea stayed silent giving Michonne her answer. Michonne walked past Andrea without giving her a second glance.
"You'll just slow me down anyways," She whispered to her and walked straight through the gate, without looking back or uttering a single word.
Back at the Prison
At some point during Rick's insane suicide mission I had lost him through the maze of the prison. After a couple of hours, I gave up trying to find him being completely exhausted and worked on getting back to the cell block or at least into the courtyard.
By some miracle I reached the cafeteria again and followed the dark passageways to door which led down to the stairs outside. I walked outside seeing no one here, then looked up and saw Glenn on watch in the guard tower.
"Hey!" I called up grabbing his attention.
"Hey! Rick?" He asked and I shook my head as Glenn continued to look worried. Suddenly I could hear the sound of a motorbike approaching the prison gate.
"Guys, they're back!" Glenn shouted. I looked to the two inmates Oscar and Axel who were drawing the Walkers away from the gate. Glenn shot the Walkers with a rifle as I ran to the front gate pulling it open then closed it with the help of Axel.
"Thanks," I said. to the blonde haired man, Axel who simply nodded. I tied the padlock around the gate making sure it was secure then followed the direction of Daryl's motorbike.
"Find anything?" I asked Daryl and Maggie as they dismounted the bike.
"Yeah we found a few tins of formula." Maggie stated holding the pack.
"What about Rick?" Daryl asked.
"Where is he?"
"He was wondering around the prison, maniacally cutting down Walkers." I sighed.
"I stayed with him for a while and tried to get him to come out but he wouldn't listen. He was walking so fast that at some point during it I lost him. I'm sorry, I should've kept a better eye." I said ashamed.
"Hey," Daryl said forcing me to look at him.
"You did what you could, we'll find him. Okay?" He checked putting a hand on my shoulder as I nodded blinking away the tears.
"We better get this formula in." Maggie said as we all ran over to inside our cell block C. We walked down the steps seeing Carl holding his sister as she continued crying.
"Shhhh," Daryl said taking the baby from Carl as she immediately quieted her crying. Maggie and Beth made the baby milk and handed it to Daryl who was busy rocking the baby in his arms and feeding her.
Carl looked up at me and I gave him an encouraging smiled. Wow. Daryl was good with babies?! Who knew.
"Come on, come on." Daryl said gently, easing the bottle into her mouth. Carl moved closer, a small smile playing on his lips watching Daryl. She stopped crying as Daryl looked up at us smirking. Glenn and Maggie gave relieved smiles as Carl was staring intently at his baby sister. Hershel and Beth looked at each other and smiled. I grinned at Daryl, feeling a small genuine bit of happiness.
"Dixon you old softie!" I cooed. It was honestly such a sight to see tough Daryl holding this sweet baby. It made him seem so vulnerable.
"Shut up," He teased.
"You got a name yet?" Daryl asked Carl.
"N-no not yet." He replied looking at his sister from under his hat.
"I was thinking maybe Sophia. T-there's Carol too," Carl said looking tentatively at Daryl. I felt the emotion bubbling inside me, threatening to reach the surface as I saw emotion also pass over Daryl's face. Daryl and Carol had been close. No doubt he was also feeling sad for her. But I wasn't counting them out to be dead yet. Not until we found bodies.
"Amy, Jacqui, Patricia or, L-lori." Carl stuttered looking down at the ground. The atmosphere in the room was tense and tinged with sadness. Everyone was reeling from the sadness of their deaths. Carl, being so young had lost his mother. My thoughts were suddenly pulled towards Rick, I had no idea where he was, no idea if he was even safe.
"I dunno," Carl said stepping back. Daryl looked at him then back towards the baby he was feeding.
"You like that, huh," He smiled at the baby.
"Lil' ass-kicker." He looked back up at us smirking making us all chuckle.
"Lil' ass-kicker, huh? You like that sweetheart?" He asked swaying from side to side.
I reloaded my gun and cleaned my machete attaching it to the holster before heading for the exit of the cell block. Daryl caught my eye before handing off the baby to Carl.
"Where you goin'?" He asked.
"Where else to find Rick. I need to make sure he's okay. He needs to be here." I said in a low voice.
"Goin' all gung ho? All by yourself huh?" Daryl crossed his arms, the crossbow still slung over his back.
"I'm not asking anybody to risk their lives to help me." I said putting hands on my hips.
"No you're not, but I'm comin' anyways." He said.
"Daryl,"
"Don't Daryl me, Rick's my friend too. Maybe I don't care bout him the way you do, but I'm still comin' with you." Daryl said firmly. I nodded as he turned round to the rest of the group.
"We're gonna do another sweep, see if we can find Rick. Lock this door behind us, don't open it unless you hear us." Daryl said as the other gave a nod of affirmation.
"Lets go." Daryl said as we walked out of the cell block together.
"Where could he go," I muttered thinking out loud. We checked the empty rooms and cells which still had Walkers along the floor.
"Of course." I said suddenly stopping in my tracks.
"I know where he is." I said.
"Where?"
A/N: I know this chapter sucks, sorry guys.