A/N: I'm so sorry guys I know it's been a good 3 days since I last uploaded but I wanted a bit of a break as I was working really hard on getting my essay finished! So from next week I'm going to be uploading probably only twice a week and those days are likely to be Monday and Thursday, but knowing me it'll probably change :3.
Thanks for all the love and support for this story! Thanks to GinDixon, theroadtohell, Heidi 191976 and Daryl's Lady for following and favouriting! And to my lovely reviewers:
FnafAnimeGirl109: Thank you! Rick's a strong one, he'll be good!
JasminJW: Lol that would be something!
Ryane: Haha as amazing as Pol is, she can't work miracles but she's doing her best.
Disclaimer: I do not own the Walking Dead!
-Angels and Douchebags
It had been a couple of days since Rick's breakdown incident in the prison and he was completely lost, muttering under his breath having hallucinations. I had a feeling I knew who was inside his head and that it had finally taken a toll on his mind. Every time we would do something, like clear out a level or checking the fence perimeter he would always wander off, his attention somewhere else like he was seeing someone or something. He was getting physically better in terms of his grief. But mentally? He was losing his mind.
It was no surprise when I woke up the next morning and peeked behind the white sheet on Rick and Carl's cell, seeing nobody there. I came up outside the cell and saw the rest of the group sitting around eating breakfast which in this case was baked beans.
"Oh my god. You guys it's been so long since I've had this." I said happily as the hot beans filled my mouth.
"You're lucky we found some on the last run." Glenn said.
"Isn't baked beans something of a specialty to you Brits?" Carol asked jokingly.
"You don't get it Carol." I narrowed my eyes playfully at her. I looked around at our smaller group now that Daryl was off with Merle, it just wasn't the same. It felt empty. No Lori. T-Dog. Daryl. Rick was here but he wasn't here.
"Slept well Carl?" I asked the boy who was eating quietly next to me, having Judith around to play with had helped but I knew he was grieving for his mother.
"Kinda," He shrugged biting into his food. I looked into Michonne's cell and saw she wasn't there.
"Carl you said you found Tyreese's group by the west wall of the prison right?" Glenn asked.
"Yeah, or that's what Tyreese said." Carl answered.
"But we cleared this part, there must be another breach. Now the whole front of the prison is unsecure." Glenn said thoughtfully.
"If a group of Walkers could stroll in, it's gonna be cake for a group of armed men." Glenn sighed rubbing his face.
"Why are we so sure he's going to attack?" Beth asked.
"Dude's a psychopath." I said.
"We should attack now, whilst he's least expecting it, we'll sneak back in and put a bullet in his head." Glenn said angrily.
"That's a bad plan." I said harshly trying to talk sense into it.
"We don't have Daryl, we have Rick but he's going through a hard time." I said stiffly.
"Hard time?" Glenn scoffed.
"He's seeing things!" He shouted as Carl stiffened up next to me. Carl put his plate down on the ground and slunk of inside his cell lying on the top bunk of the bed. I looked pointedly at Glenn who looked slightly ashamed.
"I'm sorry, I'll talk to him." He said sincerely and went in the direction Carl went.
"Where's Michonne?" I asked the rest of the group.
"Said something about getting fresh air." Hershel replied.
"And Rick?" I asked as the mood shifted in the group and people were looking uncomfortably in their laps or their faces filled with concern.
"He said he wanted to fortify the fence." Hershel looked at me.
"By himself?" I asked incredulously and he nodded.
"Did he sleep? Did he eat anything?" I asked but Hershel shook his head.
"I'm gonna go check on him." I said to them.
"Ya need any help?" Maggie asked as Beth was feeding Judith formula milk.
"Nah I got it." I smiled and went into my cell to fit the belt around my waist. I walked out of the cellblock with the baked beans and a spoon in my hand and out into the courtyard seeing Michonne standing there overlooking the green field with her arms crossed.
"Hey," She said.
"Hi, how do you feel? You were out for an entire day." I nudged.
"A lot better actually." She admitted.
"Did you get some food?"
"Yeah, Hershel forced me." She said mock-annoyed but I could tell she felt genuinely touched by the gesture.
"Good man." I smiled.
"I told you they would start liking you." I said triumphantly making her roll her eyes.
I followed her direction and saw Rick, wearing a new shirt at least walking towards the three graves with a rifle slung over his back his gaze fixed in one particular direction. Then he snapped and looked towards the graves and around the field spinning slightly.
"Your man Rick is becoming unhinged." Michonne observed.
"I know, it's his wife's death, it's taken a lot out of him." I sighed wishing I could do more to help.
"I don't know what to do." I stated.
"Just be there for him. He doesn't think anything of it but it'll help. And I seen the way you look at him, I know you will be." Michonne said turning to face.
"The way I look at him? That obvious?" I sheepishly smiled.
"You can't hide from me, I'm your best friend." Michonne shrugged with a smirk.
"Best friend? What are we 9?" I asked jokingly.
"Obviously. I've told you things about my past, that no one else knows." She said a wistful look passed over her face as my face turned sympathetic.
"And as your best friend and how obviously you care for him. You should go down there." Michonne suggested before touching my shoulder and walking back towards the cellblock.
I pushed open the fence that led out into the green field and followed where Rick was by the graves but now his gaze was focused beyond the outer gate near the woods. I watched him as there was movement just outside the fence, it was a Walker snarling at the outer gate from seeing him.
Suddenly Rick was off and ran down the pathway, past the guard-tower and to the inner gate where he started unlocking it with haste. I immediately jogged after him down the field as he also unlocked the outer gate and walked beyond the prison barrier. I slowed down seeing him walk slowly across the small wooden bridge that ran over the stream outside the prison. I closed the door of the prison fence behind me and took out my machete stabbing the walker. I slowed down walking slowly behind Rick until I could see what he was doing.
He lifted his hand up in the air as if he was stroking something and I could see his entire body movement was relaxed. He wasn't even worried or concerned that walkers could stumble out of the woods any moment and ambush us. I kept my machete out and stood guard just in case. I wondered if I should stop him but I decided not to, if he was imagining having memories of Lori I didn't want to deprive him of that. So I just watched him. Let him enjoy the time, no matter if it was fantasy with his wife.
"Rick," I gently called out to him and he snapped his head back to look at me.
"You alright?" I walked up across the bridge to talk to him.
"Yeah, I just thought I saw something." He looked down as his jaw clenched.
"What did you see?" I asked tentatively.
"It's not important." He muttered. I looked at him seeing the grey hairs in his beard and the dark circles and bags under his eyes.
"Hey, you haven't been sleeping while have you?"
"A bit." He answered.
"Here," I said sitting down with my legs dangling over the bridge the tip of my boots touching the water. He looked at me for a moment before sitting down beside me.
"Brought you something to eat." I gave him the can and spoon of the beans which were now getting cold.
"I'm not hungry." He said instantly looking at his clasped hands.
"These are Heinz British Baked beans Rick. You're missing out." I emphasised holding the can out to him. He looked at me with a twinkle of amusement in his eyes.
"I will force it down your throat." I said warningly as he let out a small chuckle and took the can and spoon his fingers brushing mine. I watched him as he dipped the spoon into the can and put it in his mouth slowly chewing it trying to figure out the taste.
"Not bad." Rick nodded smirking.
"Not bad?" I gasped.
"Alright, it's pretty good." He said admittedly as I grinned.
"I am going to sit here to make sure the whole thing goes in your mouth." I crossed my arms staring at him. He continued eating and then handed the can back to me after 10 minutes. I looked at the bottom and saw it was sufficiently finished then chuckled it into the water.
"Rick, I know you're tired. And you need rest. But we could use your help back inside." I said seriously for a minute as his face morphed back into the way I saw it before.
"You can handle it, you and Glenn." Rick said looking down.
"Sure, between us we can figure a few things out but we need you, we need to prepare against the Governor." I urged him as he looked at the stream below our feet.
"There's a breach on the west wall which is how Tyreese's group got in, we need to clear it and fortify." I said.
"I got some things to, to figure out here." Rick said his eyes focusing on the other side of the bridge.
"I'll help you figure what you need out here but then we should go inside. Yeah?" I checked but he was up on his feet and walked off into the woods.
"Rick!" I hissed.
I followed him through the clearing and into the thick layer of trees where it was hot and sticky due to the sun. He jogged down a small woody hill which was thick with undergrowth that kept brushing my ankles pricking me. I caught up to him as he looked back up towards the sun, the back of his hand on his forehead.
"Don't run off by yourself like that." I scolded him.
"Sorry," he said not fully paying attention.
"Where did you go?" I asked catching my breath as my mouth went dry. Bringing water out here would definitely had been a good idea.
"I thought I saw something and I needed to see," He replied looking around the small clearing we were in.
"What did you see?" I asked gently turning him around to face me.
"Who." Rick corrected.
"It was a who." He said looking at the ground.
"Lori?" I probed and he nodded.
"It's understandable Rick, I know how much you miss her. We all do, but no doubt you miss her the most." I said as Rick's eyes had tears.
"This is exactly why I'm not fit to lead the group. You or Glenn should do it." Rick stated.
"Rick, me and Glenn? We're okay but we're not you. And the group needs you. I need you." I said softly making his blue eyes look at me.
"I feel like I'm trying to hold this group together and completely failing at it. Daryl left. And it fucking hurts. But Rick at this time we just need you." I finished putting my hands on my hips.
"I'm sorry, I-I can't, not any more." Rick said helplessly. Before I could counter his point we were both distracted by a new sound.
"Rick," I heard a raspy voice call out. I looked at Rick as we both began walking back through the clearing.
"Rick," The voice called out again a bit louder. We walked back out of the clearing and came to the small stream that ran just before the prison. I looked across the wooden bridge and saw Hershel's face peering out against the inner fence. I glanced at Rick beside me as we both walked across to stand in front of Hershel who was holding one of his crutches.
"Oh Polaris, you're here too." Hershel gave a somewhat relieved sigh seeing that Rick wasn't alone.
"Yeah I came to give Rick some breakfast, then we went for a walk." I stated carefully.
"You know I wouldn't have hobbled all the way down here if it wasn't important." He said slightly out of breath.
"Are you coming back soon?" Hershel asked hopefully. Rick looked down at the ground then back towards the woods, his hair wet and his face gleaning with sweat. Rick came up beside me leaning against the fence to face Hershel.
"Glenn's on a warpath. Smart as he is he can't fill your boots. I'm afraid he's reckless." Hershel said worriedly.
"What has he done?" I asked.
"It's not what he's done, its what he's gonna do." Hershel said his eyes squinting from the sun.
"He wants to take the Governor at Woodbury." Hershel said as my eyes widened in surprise.
"We don't have the numbers or the firepower at all, we're better staying off here trying to reinforce and fortify the prison." I said.
"That's what I told him." Hershel said.
"Where is he?" I asked worriedly thinking about how Glenn's head wasn't in the right place to be making any rash decisions.
"He drove up past the prison towards the highway to see if they're coming." Hershel said and I nodded. I looked past Hershel up towards the prison and could make out the cowboy hat of Carl sitting there with Carol and Axel standing side by side looking down towards us.
"We need you now more than ever." Hershel pleaded to the man standing next to me.
"Well, if you're so worried about him, you lead." Rick threw his hand out at Hershel.
"What are you doing out here?" Hershel changed tactics. Rick looked at the side not fully focusing on Hershel's words before turning back to him.
"I've-I've been- I've got, stuff out here. Stuff." Rick said uncertain and I knew he was thinking about finding Lori again.
"How much longer do you need?" Hershel probed.
"I don't- I-I don't-" Rick trailed off with his hands on his hips seemingly confused. I reached up and put a hand up to his head as it felt unnaturally hot. I reached my hand back and put both hands on his neck and on the side of his face as his eyes fluttered closed then open.
"Rick, you're burning up." I said worriedly.
"Is there anything we can help you with?" Hershel asked trying to keep him calm.
"I saw something. Someone. I saw Lor. Lori." Rick said ashamed.
"I'm seeing her, Lori." Rick admitted.
"I know it's not really her, I know that." He wrapped his fingers around the outer fence.
"But there's got to be a reason it's- it's gotta mean something. You know." Rick looked at me then at Hershel.
"Do you see her now?" I asked him and he shook his head.
"You're lookin' for 'em." Hershel observed.
"Well, I'm waiting." Rick said his eyebrows furrowed.
"For what?" Hershel asked.
"I don't know, something." Rick shrugged.
"I know it doesn't make sense. I mean, I-I-I think it kind of- it will, it'll make sense." Rick said stuttering. I put my hand up on his forehead feeling it hadn't changed.
"Rick, we got to get you out of the sun. You could be having a sunstroke." I said looking into his blue eyes that held pain.
"Rick come on in. You need rest. It's not safe out here. Listen to Pol." Hershel said.
"I can't, I can't." Rick said as he turned around from the fence and walked off.
"Hold on, let me try." I reassured Hershel who nodded as I turned around and went to follow Rick across the wooden bridge. I was about to reach my hand out to get his attention when we heard a loud gunshot ring out in the direction of the prison.
We whipped our heads around in alarm as I pulled out the colt and took the safety out, seeing Rick breathing quickly and putting his rifle out in front of him. Suddenly gunshots were being fired onto the bridge in our direction as Rick grabbed my wrist and we stayed low running back across the rickety bridge towards the outer fence and he pushed me to the ground.
My face hit the ground and I could hear ringing in my ears as I lifted my face back up it was in pain. I touched my hand to my head which was bleeding slightly. I could see Rick's body was covering mine over the ground as I looked up towards the fence seeing no Hershel.
"Are you okay?" Rick asked twisting his body until he was lying next to me with one arm hovering over me.
"I hit my head but I'm alright." I said. More rapid machine gunfire could be heard going off into the prison.
"Is it?" Rick trailed off.
"It has to be." I said angrily. We both got up from our lying positions staying low and aiming our guns at who appeared to be the Governor's men shooting into the prison. I fired my colt into Martinez who noticed us and began shooting back as we kept low.
"Stay low!" Rick shouted and I nodded, my ears ringing from the sound of his automatic rifle going off next to me. I could hear opposing gunfire coming back from the prison which meant they were fighting back.
The bullets were getting closer to our bodies as I pushed Rick back until we were half lying on our backs hidden in the grass. Rick reloaded with another cartridge and continued shooting in the direction of the wood. I used my colt bullets sparingly as I didn't take many out, instead I scanned the surrounding for where the Governor might be. Rick continued unleashing all the bullets at him until suddenly the gunfire stopped. He gave me a look and we could hear the faint sound of a truck engine in the distance.
I held my breath not knowing what was about to happen, the revving of the engine was extremely loud as I heard the sound of the prison fences being forced open and a truck driving in.
"Let's go," I whispered to him as we crawled our way until we were against the outer fence. I put my head up slightly to see an orange and white truck standing idle in the green field of the prison. Rick stood up purring his hand on the fence and looked in alarm.
"What is it?" I looked at his face. I stood up leaning down next to him as the metal barricade at the back of the truck pushed down to the ground. Suddenly dozens of Walkers scrambled out moaning and hungry for flesh.
"Shit!" I shouted reloading whatever bullets I had left for my colt in one hand and keeping my machete ready on my belt. The gunfire from both sides started again as another bullet just narrowly missed Rick when I pushed him down to the ground.
"Thanks." He looked at me gratefully.
"Hershel!" I shouted not being able to see the man.
"Hershel, get the hell out of here!" Rick shouted desperately. Rick checked the machine gun which was empty and dropped it to the floor pulling out his own gun.
I heard footsteps on the ground and turned around as the Walkers came snarling out of the woods. Stuffing the gun away, I traded it for my knife and stood beside Rick embedding the knife in the skull of the first one as it dropped to the floor. Rick clicked his hand gun which was out as we started backing away frustrated. I pulled out my gun and handed it to him as we backed away shooting and slicing at the Walkers.
We tried to go around the fence before more Walkers came. I leapt forward and sliced the Walker's head off before standing just behind Rick, we backed into the same way we came as he grabbed one of my hands making sure we didn't lose each other amongst the Walkers.
I could hear another truck as Glenn came driving back into the prison towards Hershel who stood up. I was suddenly pushed against the fence and saw a Walker who was reaching for my throat and had it's hands placed on my chest reaching forward to bite me. Another Walker joined and piled on top as I shouted trying to push it off.
Rick was trying to push the walkers off me but they were too strong when suddenly I heard a whoosh sound and the tip of an arrow embedded itself in the skull of a Walker. The Walker dropped to the ground as I heard a shout then the end of a sharp wooden stick which was inches from my face.
"Ha ha!" I looked at Merle's laughing face who took care of the other Walkers. I looked up and saw Daryl Dixon standing there with a crossbow. I gave him a wide grin as he nodded at me. Rick put his hands on my forearms and nodded as we sliced down the Walkers together with Merle and Daryl. We finished with the walkers as Rick nodded gratefully at Daryl but scowled at Merle who was chuckling.
We all stood up against the fence seeing the zombie's inside the field as the group had been herded to the inner courtyard. The Governor's car was nowhere to be seen and now we had to clear out the field again.
"Round 2 anyone?" I said tiredly.
A/N: Thoughts?