DC Gothic – Red-X 2
Baby Store – Jump City
Just yesterday morning I had saved this city, with some help from Jinx, and mere hours ago I'd been allowed to briefly visit the city of Atlantis in order to be reward by Aquaman in person for aiding him in removing so many dangerous enemies from his underwater domain.
In thanks I'd been presented with a chest full of shiny things that must have come from a sunken treasure ship. The gold was Aztec, and there were jewels as well. I suspected that the booty had came from back when Hernando Cortés was off conquering what was now Mexico for the Spanish.
The following day, which was now, I was being dragged around stores, and made to fork a small fortune in order to supply a baby, that had not yet been born, with all everything an infant could ever require. Overall it was a big let down from what I had been doing recently.
At least Starfire was enjoying herself, her eyes were wide with excitement as she flew around the store. She was looking at cribs, baby pajamas, bottles, stuffed toys, and anything else you could possibly imagine that a baby could ever need or want.
Raven trailed after her team mate slowly, not the least bit amused by her friend's antics, and I could tell that she was somewhat embarrassed to be in a store of this kind.
"Friend Raven, what about this one?" Starfire pointed to a large pink crib that had many bows and ribbons hanging from it's bars.
Already I wanted to vomit.
"I will not have my child sleep in anything PINK" Raven replied grumpily. "Especially if it's a boy".
That would be rather traumatic for the poor fella.
"You informed me that the child will be a girl" Starfire then said.
This was news to me.
"How do you know?" I asked.
Raven bit her lip before answering. She was most likely nervous about how I'd react to not being told this information. After all she had told me that she was pregnant via a message rather than face to face.
"I went to see some fortune tellers" she explained "Real ones I mean. They are all say we're having a mostly human, healthy baby girl".
The 'mostly human' part didn't alarm me as I did live with people who were 'mostly human' or not human at all. People in Jump City didn't seem to care much about aliens being around.
I did care about the 'healthy baby girl' part, it made the whole thing seem more real than the shopping ever could.
"A plain white cot will do" Raven then said "We can have it delivered to the tower".
That would cost me extra, but it would also mean I didn't have to lug anything to the Titan's home base. Which was good.
"Now onto the clothes of babies!" Starfire decided.
Logic would suggest that since infants were small that their clothes would be cheaper because less material was used in their creation. However when it came to shopping then logic meant nothing. The tiny outfits cost me more than my own clothing did.
"Oh look at the tiny Red-X dolls!" Starfire exclaimed
The bloody plushies were back.
"How am I a suitable toy for impressionable youths?" I asked myself in a whisper "I'm a freaking super villain".
Raven heard me, and she smiled slightly before answering my question.
"I always thought you were cuddly" she told me "And your not really a villain. Your heroic sometimes, and just selfish the rest of the time".
That was more or less the case.
"I've been called worse" I said.
Then I took out my communicator because it had vibrated. It looked like a flip phone, only it was much more advanced and it had the ability to receive pictures. Jinx had sent me a picture of herself lying on my bed in her just her bra and knickers. I knew she hadn't taken the picture because then there was also one of Blackfire that couldn't have been takenb by her. It was pretty clear to me that they were trying to remind me what I had waiting for me at home.
"Hi" a voice then said.
We all turned around, to find a group of teenaged girls who all seemed to be fascinated by us.
"Umm...may I help you?" Raven inquired,
A dark haired girl seemed to be in charge, she looked very preppy and hyper. I could instantly tell that Ray would regret engaging this teenager in conversation.
"Hi, my friends and I couldn't help noticing that you're the girls from the Teen Titans" said the teenager.
I was surprised that Starfire hadn't already tried to hug any of them, but she was distracted by tiny shoes and to be fair even I found them cute and I was a guy.
"Yeah, what of it?" Raven asked.
I knew this wasn't going to go well.
"We just wanted to know what you would be doing in a store like this" the leader of the small mob said.
I was pretty sure that these girls had seen us in here and had come inside just to bother the Titans.
"What do you think we're doing here?" was Ray's reply.
Judging by her sarcasm Raven had been attempting to discourage any further talking, sadly for her it didn't work.
"Oh my God!" another girl screamed "One of you is pregnant?"
I couldn't resist saying something.
"Well its not me" I said.
Unlike me Raven kept her mouth shut, but Starfire didn't see any problem answering with the truth.
"We are here because..." the alien started to say.
Raven slapped her hand over Starfire's mouth before the super powered alien could give it all away.
"Heh, we're here to shop for my...uh...cousin" the Titan answered, "She's having a baby shower, and I wanted to get her something".
None of them believed that, but they did at least have the decency to change the subject.
"So you must be Robin" the leader of the pack of teenage girls then said to me.
That made me laugh.
"No he is not Friend Robin" Starfire said "He is...".
Again she was prevented from speaking, but this time it was by me.
"I am just their walking ATM machine" I told the girls.
At least that was what I felt like.
"He's Red-X" Raven then said.
I closed the communicator, which had been vibrating again, and I glared at the part-demoness.
"You can't just go around telling people who I am" I told her "Someone will call the police".
They wouldn't catch me, but that wasn't the point.
"You're wearing a Red-X t-shirt" Raven pointed out "And your shopping with Starfire and me, so it's not hard to figure out".
There were now Red-X t-shirts for sale. Granted they were just black tops with slashes of red on them, but unlike the plushies I liked the t-shirts, they were comfy.
"Besides even if they did arrest you the mayor would order you freed" Ray said "You saved the city from Brother Blood. Heck he'd erect a statue if you were willing to endorse his re-election.
The gaggle of girls waited until the Titan finished speaking before they asked me for my autograph.
"Will you leave us in peace if I do?" I asked them.
Once they agreed to do that I willingly signed a few things and they all scampered off.
"Now we purchase the table of changing" Starfire told us.
She had brought a list of things. Which was helpful.
"This is wonderful!" the alien then said "Oh what joy a little bumgorf does bring!"
While I could hazard a guess I had to ask.
"What is a bumgorf?"
The princess from another planet answered promptly.
"One who is taken care of by their Knorfka" I was told.
I then turned to Raven.
"If she suggests any names then ignore her" I insisted.
Starfire was already being distracted by something else so she wasn't offended by my words.
"I already chose a name" Raven informed me "I'm going to call her Arella after my mother".
That sounded like a nice name. so I nodded to show my agreement with her choice. Not that Ray asked for it.
"You know you're are going to have to come over and set everything up" the purple haired Titan then said to me "That's a Dad's job".
Judging by the amount of stuff we were buying that could take hours, and that was assuming Starfire didn't find more things that would sent to the Tower in flat pack boxes.
"This is going to be a hell of a pregnancy" I said to myself.
Given that Raven was part demon that could quite literal,
(Line Break)
Titan Tower – Jump City
"You know I once help put together a flying motorcycle and I know more about robotics than anyone on my version of Earth" I told Raven "Yet for some reason I can't assemble this cot".
In frustration I tossed the two parts I had been holding across what would in a matter of months be my daughter's nursery.
"Well I tried to put it together with my powers, but it just fell apart" Ray said to me.
Had it worked I would have been impressed by the Titan's amazing ability to manipulate objects with dark energy. However as soon as she had stopped using her powers the cot had fallen apart. Apparently even her magic was no match for an IKEA product
"Hey" said a female voice as someone else entered the room "Errm should you be here?"
It had been Terra who had asked that question, and it was understandable why she would as I was an enemy of the Titans. At least when I wasn't saving their lives.
"The boys don't know he's Red-X" Raven explained as I sat down on the floor and once more tried to assemble the cot "Call him Gothic, it's his name when he's in Tower".
I found it amusing that all the girls in the Tower knew who I was, but the guys were clueless. It made me wonder what the women in my life knew that I didn't.
"Whose Red-X?" a male voice then asked.
Beast Boy had followed T into the room that would be nursery, assuming I ever got around to decorating it.
"No one" Terra said quickly "Go play video games, now".
I'd just a sight rarer than Bigfoot: A woman who wanted a man to play games rather pay attention to her.
"You know I should really paint the celling put the wallpaper up first" I said to Raven "That way I won't stain the baby's stuff".
In hindsight I should have thought of that sooner.
"Well I was going to cover everything with some sheets" Ray said "But if you want to start decorating now then that's fine".
I was suspicious of how well we were getting along.
"You might need a few days to get that done, and I guess it would be easier if everything was out of the way" the Titan then added.
Now I was starting to see why she was so easy going right now. I would in fact need to visit a few times to do all that work. Which would give her plenty of chances to make Jinx jealous.
"Hold on a second" Terra demanded "I know your having a baby and all that, but don't you think that Robin, a person who was trained by Batman, will figure out who you are?".
I wasn't that worried.
"Not that long ago I stayed here for two days by myself" I informed T "And he let me. He hasn't a got clue".
That was when Raven walked past Terra and I got worried.
"Robin!" she shouted loudly "Red-X is here!".
I was too shocked to do anything as the Boy Wonder came running into the room with his bo staff in hand.
"Where is he?" the hero asked.
It was a struggle not to laugh.
"See not a clue" Ray said to the blonde before turning to Robin "Gothic is Red-X".
Even then it took him a moment to process that, and in that time I realised that secret identities are actually harder to figure out than it might seem.
"He saved the entire city!" Raven then added "And us so don't you dare hurt him".
It was sweet that she was worried but I could handle Bird Boy. It was his mentor who worried me.
"X!" Robin shouted "What are you doing here!".
I lifted up only part of the cot I had managed to put together.
"Failing at DIY" I told him.
He then needed another moment to come to terms with things.
"Well you did save the city" he mumbled.
Actually it hadn't been the first time. Robin was forgetting about how I'd saved him and I'd helped him stop Professor Chang.
"Twice now" I reminded him "How many times have you done it?".
Rather than answer the Boy Blunder just glared at me, then Raven coughed to get his attention. They started at each other for a while, and not long after the leader of the Titans collapsed his staff.
"Fine" the hero said as he relaxed his body slightly "But I'll be watching you, X".
When Robin left the room I had to chuckle.
"What's so funny?" Ray asked.
Since she knew I had a book on warding magic there was no point in not telling her.
"I've got those wards that hide me from being seen indirectly, sown into the inside of clothing" I explained "So I won't show up on his surveillance systems. It will drive him nuts".
Terra left the room suddenly and then returned with something that passed for a digital camera. When she tried to take my picture I made a funny face, and then she checked the image.
"Wow it's like your totally invisible, only everyone can still see you!" T nearly shouted.
It was weird how much sense that made to me.
"I am going to tell BB about this" the geomancer then said "He will get a kick out of it".
With that she ran out of the room again. Which left me free start putting everything away again.
"Can you put up those 'not see me' wards and Angel proof the same room?" Raven then inquired of me.
Actually that wasn't possible, but before I discussed that there was something else I wanted to talk about.
"I get why you don't want demon proofing" I said "But why are worried about angels. Do they even really exist?".
Demons were real, so that strongly suggested celestial powers also existed, but it didn't prove.
"Of course they do" said Raven "And they don't like anything infernal".
The baby would be one quarter demonic so making it almost impossible for the halo brigade to see her or get into this room would be wise.
"I'd have to put Angel proofing on the outside of the room" I told Raven "It might be easier to do the whole tower. I can use paint that's only visible in the ultraviolet spectrum. For the baby's room I was planning on wallpapering over the runes as they still work that way".
That would take longer, but the extra security was worth it.
"She'll need soft carpet for when she starts crawling, but don't worry about baby proofing the tower, Cyborg has that covered".
I was glad someone was pulling their weight around here.
"So your going to put up wards in her, and on the tower, paint the celling, then do the wallpaper, put down some soft carpet, assemble the cot and some draws for her clothes. Oh and then we need to go get toys" Raven said, all without taking a breathe "That's going to take you weeks, and it needs to be done because I'm not sure if we have seven more months".
Now I was worried, and this wasn't a good time for Terra to return or for Starfire to follow her in.
"Use the camera!" the blonde was soon saying.
Since I was still packing things back into boxes it wouldn't have made for a good photo even she could have taken one.
"How long could it take?" I asked "A month more, three months, four".
Raven didn't look worried.
"I might have to go through the full nine months" the Titan said "The mystics I went to see weren't helpful with dates. But I have an appointment at S.T.A.R labs next week as they have people who specialise in alternate biologies. It's next Monday at two, don't be late".
This was all happening very fast.
"With everything I have do I might still be here on Monday" I said.
It wouldn't be ideal weekend, but the worked needed to be done. But I still had the rest of this week so I might get it done.
"Oh I can prepare the guest room!" Starfire said in way that made it seem as if the chore would both be challenging and rewarding "The pillows will be fluffed!".
Perhaps Blackfire was the oddest alien I knew.
"I don't think I should sleep here too" I told the ladies "I do have a team to run and I have girlfriends waiting for me".
As my mere mentioning of her had triggered the act my communicator buzzed me. I opened and saw that Blackfire had sent me a dirty text. It wasn't all in English, but I got the idea of what she had meant to say.
"Oh Jinx will love that" Terra said in a sarcastic tone.
Indeed she would be irate if I spent the night here.
"Maybe you could just take a nap in the guest room so you don't hurt Star's feelings" Raven suggested before she changed the subject rather randomly "I'm going to make you a sandwich".
Terra gave me a worried look.
"Be careful" she warned "Raven can set water on fire. I'm not kidding I saw her do it".
Then she gave me an even more worried look.
"I'll go help her" T decided.
Once the girls had all left the room I was finally able to start work.
"Fatherhood is hard" I told myself.
I was already tired and the baby hadn't even been born yet.