Games Are Afoot Chapter 24
Escape
DISCLAIMER: JKR owns it all; I am just having fun.
Fred and George only glanced back once as they flew over the high fence towards Hogsmeade. They landed gracefully outside the Three Broomsticks and entered loudly. Their trunks and brooms clattered and banged to the floor as they dropped them haphazardly just inside the door. Madame Rosmerta quirked an eyebrow and quelled a smirk at the antics of the two.
"Not even going to try to hide the fact that you're here during school hours, eh boys?" She questioned playfully. "Are we running away from home?"
"Our full time education has come to an end, I'm afraid." Fred said as somberly as he could before laughter erupted deep from within his chest.
George joined in and began to describe the scene they had just left. As he got to the part where they had accio'd their brooms, she looked and saw for herself the black leaden ball and chains still attached. She grinned in spite of herself.
"Boys. I think this calls for a drink. Firewhiskey is on me." She went around the bar while the boys settled themselves at a round table nearby. When she returned with three glasses she sat with them.
"Now tell me how the old bat took it."
Fred guffawed. "Oh she was right testy—"
"She looked redder than Weasley hair!" Interjected George. Madame Rosmerta's eyes danced in merriment as she listened to them for the next hour as they regaled her with stories from the last couple of weeks that led up to their final departure.
"Can we use your floo?" Fred asked after draining the last of his drink.
She stood and began to clear the table. "Certainly, but don't be strangers. It's going to be awfully quiet around here without you two." She said affectionately.
George put his hand over his heart. "Aw, sweeter words have never been spoken." He reached over and gave her a gentle one-armed hug. Fred joined him on her other side.
"We may be gone, but we will never be forgotten." He said formally causing her to giggle.
"Aye, we always turn up." George added. They both planted a kiss on her cheeks and then waved as they moved to the fireplace.
Madame Rosmerta wiped a tear from her eye as they disappeared in a blaze of green flames. "Bless them." She sighed as she returned to her work.
Fred and George stumbled out of the fireplace at their new premises in Diagon Alley. They had a lot of work ahead of them to get the store stocked and ready to open officially. The piles of boxes were semi-organized so they could continue the mail order portion of their business effectively, but now they needed flashy displays and eye-catching windows. A loud bang startled them from their perusal. Errol.
"Uh oh." George said with a scowl. Fred shivered involuntarily as he recognized the red envelope attached to the unconscious bird's leg. He had flown right into the largest window and fallen ungracefully to the sidewalk below.
"Do you suppose it'll go off if he hasn't actually delivered it yet?" Fred asked his twin with concern etched on his face.
"I don't want it going off in front of the store!" George exclaimed as he wrenched the door open and roughly grabbed the owl. He darted back in the door. "Silencing Charm, Now!" He yelled toward Fred as the envelope started to shake and smoke.
"HOW COULD YOU LEAVE SCHOOL? HOW COULD YOU SCARE YOUR MOTHER HALF TO DEATH WITHOUT SO MUCH AS EVEN A WARNING! THAT WOMAN SENT ME A HOWLER TELLING ME THAT YOU WREAKED HAVOC ON THE SCHOOL CAUSING DAMAGE THAT CANNOT BE REPAIRED! HOW COULD YOU LEAVE SCHOOL BEFORE YOUR NEWT'S? HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO YOUR MOTHER? THE CLOCK STARTED SPINNING UNCONTROLLABLY AND THEN YOUR TWO HANDS POINTED TOWARD MORTAL PERIL BEFORE SWINGING TO TRAVELING! WHAT WAS I SUPPOSED TO THINK? HAVE YOU NO CONSIDERATION TO THE WORRY THAT I GO THROUGH? WE ARE GOING TO TALK ABOUT THIS SO BE READY! I AM ON MY WAY!"
The howler disintegrated in front of the astonished faces of the twins. They looked at each other in fear. They knew their mother was a force to be reckoned with on her best days, but now she was really upset.
Fred looked to George, "Are you ready to have this conversation yet?"
George was shaking his head before Fred even finished. "No way, mate, not until she calms down…a lot."
They looked at each other for a long moment and then asked each other in unison, "Grimmauld Place?" They chuckled and then disapparated on the spot.
Their unexpected arrival caused quite a stir. Mrs. Black was screaming. Remus and Sirius looked like they were going to collapse from the shock. Bill stood in the hallway chuckling at his brothers.
"To what do we owe the pleasure of this most unexpected visit?" Bill asked dryly.
"What the hell are you two doing here?" Sputtered Sirius when he could actually breathe again. "We thought we were being invaded. No one shows up here without some warning!"
Fred and George collapsed in a heap of laughter. After a few minutes, they collected themselves and moved further towards the others.
"It's a long story, but we need a safe place to hide." George snorted.
Fred attempted to adopt a look of seriousness. "Aye, mum is after us and she's more than a little incensed."
Bill shuddered. He knew what a mad Molly Weasley looked like. "What'd you two do and why aren't you at school."
"We left." Answered Fred, no longer faking severity.
George snickered. "Well, left might be an understatement. We sort of escaped in a blaze of glory."
Now Remus and Sirius were chuckling. "I think an explanation would be more forth coming with a drink, don't you chaps?" Sirius drawled. The others nodded in agreement. The mood in the hallway was lighter suddenly and each of the five men sported an amused expression. Sirius was especially grateful for the excitement. "Shall we adjourn to the kitchen lads?"
They moved down the hallway as Remus successfully pulled the curtain on Mrs. Black, silencing her. Sirius conjured up glasses and Bill grabbed a bottle from the pantry.
"I would have left school ages ago if I had known people would've treated me to drinks all day!" George heartily stated.
"Who else gave you a drink?" Bill asked curiously as he sat leaning back in his chair with his feet on the table.
Fred winked at him, "Madame Rosmerta." All the men smiled as they thought of the woman. Madame Rosmeta was a lovely and attractive woman and her attentions were highly sought after by large portions of the male population of Hogwarts.
"And why was she treating you two to drinks?" Inquired Remus.
"Ah, because we have just had the sort of day that legends are made of!" Fred answered cryptically.
"This oughta be good." Said Sirius, sitting up straighter in his chair and resting his hands on the table by his half empty glass.
"We decided that the time for the end of our formal education was at hand." Began George.
"But we couldn't leave without making sure that everyone would remember." Continued Fred.
"Now why doesn't that surprise me?" Interjected Bill.
"Don't be a spoilsport, Bill." Sirius interrupted. "Let these boys talk!"
Fred and George went on to explain about the increasing torment that Umbridge had put the school under and how even the other professors were not fully cooperative with her. They told them about the special quill she used for detentions and all the extra rules. They filled them in about the theory only DADA classes and how even the most obedient of students were beginning to rebel and practice on their own in an effort to make sure they passed their exams. Chaos was beginning its reign at Hogwarts.
Sirius laughed for ten minutes after he heard that Peeves had actually saluted these two hooligans. His respect for them had increased exponentially. The laughter ceased immediately as the flames in the fireplace sprung to a lively green life. A patronus shot out with a message.
Fred and George left school. Molly is on the warpath. She will be checking there next.
"That's from Dad." Bill stated the obvious. "He must have assumed you'd come here."
"We gotta get out of here quick!" Fred yelled as he jumped up knocking his chair backwards.
"Where?" George questioned looking at the other men.
They stared at each other for a moment when Remus grabbed one of the empty glasses. He touched his wand to it and said "Portus."
Bill looked to Remus nodding in understanding. "We'll get you out of range."
"Where are you sending them? It's gotta be far enough away that Molly has a chance to calm down." Sirius said gravely.
"Romania." Remus replied simply as he completed the incantation.
Bill stood between his brothers. "We'll let Charlie know that you are on the way."
"Thanks." The twins said in unison. The other men nodded as Fred and George grabbed the glass turned port key. The blue light flared as the two disappeared with a pop.
"Quick thinking Remus." Bill smiled appreciatively towards him."I think I am going to work now. I'll send Charlie a heads up." He left rapidly.
"What are we going to tell Molly?" Sirius questioned Remus.
"I think I am going to go—"
"Oh no! You are NOT leaving me here to deal with her when I can't leave. You WILL stay here and face her with me!" Sirius roared.
Remus laughed outright at the panicked look on his face. "Sure, you can hang around with a werewolf, but a lady as nice as Molly comes to call and you get all hysterical."
Sirius cuffed his shoulder. "Molly may be a very nice woman, but I have seen her angry. You remember what Lily did to James that time he levitated the Jack-O-Lantern in her window that Halloween in sixth year?" Remus nodded with barely contained mirth. "Molly will make her anger look like she was being thoughtful."
Remus thought back to that day. James had sported green freckles and purple stripes for days. He had woken Lily up in the middle of the night with what he thought was a romantic gesture. He had carved a pumpkin into a fierce jack-o-lantern and then alohomora'd the window to the dorm and levitated it in. She woke up thinking she was being attacked and when she realized that James was watching looking in from his broom she got mad. Really mad. She hexed him several times before he could get away. It had actually been very amusing to everyone except Lily.
"Shall we go check on Buckbeak?" Remus asked suddenly coming out of his reverie.
"Good call mate." Sirius chuckled. "Possibly followed by a drink in my mum's parlor."
"Definitely." Remus agreed.
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Charlie had been stunned to receive the note from Bill. Be ready. Twins coming. That was it. No explanation. No time. No nothing. He walked toward his tent in utter confusion. As he approached his tent he could hear laughter and recognized it as belonging to Fred and George. So they really were here. He wondered why. His shift had ended and hour or so ago and he had just finished eating dinner when he got the message. They didn't sound like it was an emergency or like they came to bring bad news because they were laughing loudly.
He entered and his brothers rushed to him slapping him on the back heartily and exclaiming how good it was to see him.
"I am glad you are so happy to see me. Now tell me why I should be happy to see you." Charlie demanded. The grave look on his face triggered another round of laughter from Fred and George. They grabbed his arms and led him to his couch in front of the fireplace and pushed him down.
"Do you have anything to drink? It's sort of become a tradition today before we explain ourselves." Fred said happily.
"I guess." Charlie accio'd a bottle and handed it to Fred who took a swig before passing it on to George.
"I guess you are wondering why we are here instead of school, eh?" Began George confidently grabbing the bottle out of Fred's hand and taking a long drink.
"Yeah, the thought did cross my mind." Charlie answered suspiciously.
"Oh it's a great story. You'll love it." Fred assured him.
Charlie sat back and crossed his arms over his chest. "Well?" He asked impatiently.
"It's a long story, Char." Fred said leaning back and imitating his position. "But first we have to tell you that mum is VERY angry."
"VERY, VERY angry." George added.
Charlie was trying not to smile. "So you thought you would be safe here?" The twins nodded soberly.
"All right. I will hide you at least until I know what's going on. Then, if I don't like your story, I'll bind you, hogtie you, and deliver you to her myself."
George and Fred laughed at his empty threat. "Oh we won't disappoint ya'!" George yelled.
"Where should we start Gred?"
"At the beginning of course Forge!"
"Okay, so we were getting tired of school anyhow." Fred started.
"We were really only there to test our target market to discover what needs we could meet with our products." George continued.
"But, Umbridge was shutting us down at every turn."
"Couldn't even play Quidditch anymore. I didn't even get to pop the little toerag and I still got a ban too!" George muttered shaking his head.
"So we decided that if she were going to make our lives difficult—"
"That we would return the favor."
Charlie was chuckling just imagining these two if they actually made someone a direct target.
Fred continued, "We decided to subtly initiate some behind the scenes rebellion."
"Lee levitated nifflers into her office—"
"She still hasn't figured out how anyone got them in!" George was howling at the memory of her face when she had come to the great hall after finding the first one in her office.
"And then we decided to brighten things up a bit." Fred said with a wink. George nodded and smiled widely.
Charlie could tell they were dying for him to ask them how they accomplished this feat so he humored them. "And just how did you pull off this daring escapade?"
"We let off our entire collection of our very special fireworks."
"It was so worth it!" Fred yelled as he sighed joyfully at the memory.
"If you stunned them, they explode—"
"And if you vanish them, they multiply!" The twins were wheezing as they remembered the faces of Umbridge and Filch as they tried to control them.
"They had told the teachers they weren't allowed to discuss anything not related to their subject so even Flitwick and McGonagall kept sending for her to take care of the ones in their classrooms."
Charlie tried to catch his breath. "You mean to tell me all this took place INSIDE the castle?"
The twins nodded vigorously as a look of complete wickedness flashed through their eyes. Charlie looked on suspiciously.
"But that wasn't the best part mate." Fred said suggestively.
"Oh, no, we started it off with a bang—" George stopped and shrugged his shoulders at the look his two brothers gave him over his unintentional pun. "But what we inspired was brilliant."
"Inspired?" Charlie asked quirking his eyebrow.
"Oh mate, you would be so proud of your little woman." Fred patted him on the back.
"She has a gift, Char. A brilliant mind put to excellent use."
Charlie's curiosity got the better of him. "Tell me." He demanded.
Fred and George stared at each other for a full minute before George nodded and Fred began, "It started the night of our firework blitz. Hermione came over to compliment us on our display."
Charlie couldn't help but interrupt. "Hermione approved of your antics?" He was stunned. He couldn't picture it. He knew she participated in the secret club, but that wasn't open rebellion. He also knew from Bill that they had been caught and that was what had ultimately led to Dumbledore leaving the school for the time being.
"Shall I continue?" Fred asked pulling Charlie out of his reverie. He nodded to Fred.
"Anyhow, she comes over to congratulate us and then goes back over to Ron and Ginny where they had been working on homework."
George decided it was his turn. "We moved over to make sure she wasn't just playing us because she usually isn't so…. supportive of our distractions." Charlie understood why they might be a little worried. "Well, then she sits there staring at her books and then looks Ron right in the eye and says, Oh why don't we take the night off…after all, the Ester holidays start on Friday, we'll have plenty of time then…"(OotP pg. 634)
Fred continued, "I don't think I had ever seen a stupider look on Ron's face. He actually asked her if she was feeling ok." He laughed and Charlie joined in picturing the shock.
George interjected, "But the best part was when she told him she was fine, just feeling a little rebellious." Now all the boys laughed at the image running through their minds.
"All I could think about the rest of the night was wicked, we even got Ganger!" Fred snickered. George nodded in agreement.
"It was a major coup."
Charlie wanted them to continue. "So, was she all talk or did she do something?"
The twins looked at each other and grinned like idiots. "The woman is an artist." They said in unison causing Charlie to laugh at the look of respect that flickered over their faces. He summoned some food and another bottle so they would keep talking.
"She pulled us aside just before bed to ask us if we had anything else planned."
"We told her we wouldn't disturb something as sacred as a break from school so we would be taking the week off."
"She had a wickedly cool gleam in her eye and she told us to let her entertain us."
"And entertain she did." Fred put his hand over his heart. "She has such potential."
George nodded, "Yeah, she could be notorious if she wasn't all hung up on rules and stuff." Charlie snorted.
"Anyway, Monday morning we were enjoying the lovely weather out in the commons when we heard a faint beat like music."
"Never could tell where it was coming from—"George snuck in.
"That was part of what made this work!" Fred insisted.
"Made what work?" Charlie asked completely confused.
"Well, we are sure that Hermione was the mastermind, but she called it her muggleborn rebellion and she and her recruits clobbered the Sytherins." Charlie was riveted. He motioned them to carry on.
"So she started on Monday and the first group she hit was the Slytherin girls. The first two were Pansy Parkinson and Milicent Bulstrode!" Fred had tears running down his face. "No one actually saw where the hex came from because the music started blaring from several different directions!"
George and Fred stood up and began to sing.
Oh mother dear, we're not the fortunate ones, and girls just wanna have fun.
And girls just wanna have fu-un; oh girls, just wanna have fun!
They collapsed back on the couch after their performance. Charlie's mouth was gaping open, not really sure what he just witnessed.
"Then the two Slytherin girls started laughing uncontrollably in time to the music." Sighed George. "They got hit with at least three Rictumsempras!"
"Isn't that the tickling charm?" Charlie asked.
"Yes. And two or three of them at the same time is hysterically funny to watch!" Fred grinned. Charlie found himself chuckling at the images playing out in his mind.
"So you said that was Monday. What happened next?"
George thought for a moment. "Ah, that was the Great Hall incident." Fred nodded enthusiastically. George sighed. "Your woman is brilliant I tell you." Fred again nodded.
"Dinner had started about fifteen minutes before. As usual some of the Slytherin gits like Malfoy and his entourage arrived fashionably late. I can't believe the timing on this one."
Fred decided he needed to add something, "The song they picked this time is by my new favorite muggle group….Right Said Fred!" And he fell back against the couch cheering. George sniggered and continued.
"As I was saying, the music started just as they crossed the doorway into the hall. It had to have had a sonorous charm because the song was blasting. We learned later that our dear sweet Ginevra had persuaded Lee to teach her that charm. So as these gits crossed the threshold, their shirts disappeared—"
"Banished."
"Gone."
"Bare."
"And here in the background…the perfect song."
Fred stood up and sang out, "I'm too sexy for my shirt, too sexy for my shirt, so sexy it hurts…"
Charlie was clutching his stomach watching Fred sway sexily on his coffee table. This was a bold idea.
"The best part of this one was that half the girls and a few of the boys started whistling and catcalling." George gasped.
"And Umbridge thought Malfoy had done it to himself to get attention…" Fred faded into peals of laughter.
Once they settled themselves down, Charlie asked, "So was that it?"
Fred shook his head. "Oh, no. They had more. On Wednesday it was Warrington, Crabbe and Goyle's turn."
"Who are Crabbe and Goyle? I remember Warrington being a big oaf ."
"Crabbe and Goyle are from the same mold. Huge and stupid." George informatively pointed out.
"They walked down the hallway and you could see lights flash out from four or five different directions. They got nailed with the furnunculus hex. I have never seen two hairier beasts in my life and I have seen Hagrid's coat up close."
Charlie barked out a loud laugh as he pictured Hagrid's coat growing on two teenage boys. "What song did they use this time?" He sputtered.
"We have it on good authority that it is by some guy named Aaron Neville and it's called Everybody plays the fool."
"These words were classic and it was a slow song which was perfect because these animals moved like slugs wondering what the hell just happened to them." Fred said.
"I think the song said something like "everybody plays the fool, sometime there's no exception to the rule…It may be factual, it may be cruel, I ain't lying everybody plays the fool."
"Sounds like they were making a statement with that one." Charlie teased.
"Thursday it was the girl's turn again." Chortled Fred. "I was right next to Bulstrode for this one. We were all out in the courtyard that leads down by the lake. It was sunny. It was early afternoon. It was perfect. Music was already playing and people were dancing and you could just feel the change coming. The song started and built in volume until it drowned everyone out."
George picked up, "Everyone knew something was coming and they started to look around. Then all of a sudden two quick flashes and Parkinson and Bulstrode's legs were flying looking like they were doing the Highland Fling."
The twins stood and pretended to sing into microphones. You can dance, you can jive, having the time of your life. See that girl, watch that scene, dig in the dancing queen."
Charlie's stomach was locked from laughing so hard. He couldn't believe that they got away with this all week. "Tarantallegra was it?" The twins nodded vigorously.
"But Friday was the best! It was their grand Finale. I think Umbridge was catching on so they finished with the crème de la crème." George said blowing a kiss.
"The Slytherins were now traveling in large groups thinking it would keep them safe and this is exactly what our mastermind was counting on." Fred chuckled.
"After lunch they moved like a herd of sheep down the hallway and you could hear the click a loud as anything." George said shaking his head.
Fred went on, "Then you could hear this beat. Bum, bum, bum." He patted his leg.
George was giggling. "And then the first one went down. Perfect Trip Jinx."
"And then the song kicked in…Another one bites the dust
Another one bites the dust
And another one gone, and another one gone
Another one bites the dust
Hey, I'm gonna get you too
Another one bites the dust" George sang out loudly.
"Every time they said 'another one' somewhere in a different part of the crowd, a Slytherin would go down. By the end of the first chorus, they didn't even need the trip jinx because the Slytherins were trying to protect themselves and they were all tripping over each other." Fred laughed.
George sighed contentedly. "But my favorite part was Saturday morning. We had a Slytherinless breakfast."
"Slytherinless?" Charlie questioned.
"Apparently," said Fred dramatically, "SOMEONE used colloportus on their common room door and none of them could get out until lunch when Snape went to see where his house was." Fred and George were gone again, collapsing in a heap on the couch.
"I almost hated to see Easter break end." Fred said wistfully. "I have never enjoyed muggle music more."
"Those pureblood bigots still don't know what hit them." George added conspiratorially.
"So how did you end up here, if Hermione was the brains behind this?" Charlie finally asked.
"Well we couldn't let your girlfriend out do us, now could we?" Fred said with a look of shock on his face.
Charlie shook his head. He knew his brothers too well. "What'd you do?"
Fred and George looked at each other with immensely pleased grins. "We turned the main hallway into a swamp." They said.
"Wicked." Was Charlie's impressed response.
"Then Umbridge comes out and asks us if we thought it was funny and we told her that yeah we thought it was funny." Fred said.
George went on, "She sent Filch after some paperwork so he could whip us and you would have thought it was Christmas the way his face lit up."
"She told us we were about to learn what happened to bad little children at HER school and we said we didn't really think so."
"We summoned our brooms and made our escape. We stopped in Hogsmeade and the lovely Rosmerta gave us a drink. Then we went to Diagon Alley to our new premises—"
"What premises?" Charlie interrupted.
"Our new Weasley's Wizard Wheezes Shop." Fred said matter-of-factly.
"Oh, go on then." Said Charlie still wondering what they were talking about.
"And that's when Errol found us." Said George with a look of exasperation crossing his brow.
"Uh oh." Said Charlie, having received an owl like that himself a time or two.
"Yeah, mum had Errol track us down with one of her infamous howlers. We got it inside and did a silencing charm in time, but we were NOT waiting around for the personal show." Fred grimaced.
"So we showed up at headquarters and nearly scared Sirius to death instead." Chuckled George.
"You've really made the rounds today." Charlie observed.
Fred nodded tiredly, "Yes we have. Bill and Remus were there too and then Dad sent his patronus to let us know mum was still looking for us and Remus made us a portkey and here we are."
"We just need a couple of days until she calms down a bit and it's safe to go back." George said looking hopefully toward Charlie.
"Please, Charlie, there are parts of my anatomy I've grown rather fond of and she is sure to hex them off." Fred begged.
Charlie shook his head. "Okay. You can stay here a couple of days, but IF mum finds you…you WILL stay and deal with her because I am NOT going to."
Fred and George agreed to the terms and grabbed some of the food Charlie had summoned, finally relaxing after a VERY long day.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: THE MUSIC FOR THIS CHAPTER DOES NOT BELONG TO ME. THANKS TO JWALKING FOR THE ANOTHER ONE BITES THE DUST BY QUEEN SUGGESTION. AND A BIG THANKS TO MY TWO OLDEST BOYS FOR THE OTHER MUSICAL SUGGESTIONS.