Games Are Afoot Chapter 43
Sorrow
The morning was crisp and clear. The gentle lapping of the lake water as it caressed the shore was background music for the birds calling merrily to each other. The branches of the trees swayed regally in the soft breeze. The sun was just cresting the mountains generating the myriad of colors that were exploding across the sky. A perfect day. But all Hermione could see were shades of gray. She didn't hear the birds or the water. She couldn't feel the breeze. She was numb. In shock. Her mind couldn't grasp the reality of what had happened.
She stood still gazing at nothing out the window as she waited for the clock to move. Each second ticked by so slowly it felt like an eternity. Life seemed to have shifted into slow motion. It hurt to breathe. She sighed heavily and turned to look yet again at the clock. It hadn't moved and yet she felt like years had passed. She felt older. She felt less innocent. She hurt and ached deep within her soul.
A lone tear escaped down her cheek as she stood. She couldn't summon the strength to wipe it away and let it run its lonely course down her chin. Dumbledore was gone. One minute he was there to guide them to victory and the next he was laying on the ground. Gone.
The last two nights had been agony for her, but she was sure that even her large vocabulary could not have found a word to describe Harry's suffering. She and Ron had remained with him throughout. Sleep not even an option. She had witnessed a strength and depth in Ron that she had never suspected as she saw him comfort Harry. He let Harry scream and rage at him and then sat next to him with his hand on his shoulder as the tears finally came. The three of them let the tears run unchecked. Then the anger would build and the cycle would start again. Hermione held Harry's hand as he tried to process this latest loss in his life.
Harry wasn't sure he would have made it through the past couple of days without the two of them. Their housemates graciously left them in Harry and Ron's room undisturbed. Seamus, Dean and Neville camping out in the common room knowing that as hard as this was for them, Harry…well, Harry had experienced more tragic loss than all of them put together and they cared enough to let him have space to come to terms with it.
The trio had spent two days in the room. Ginny would periodically join them, but realized that the three needed time together as well. She would bring food that sat uneaten and would let Harry hold her. She felt useless. They were waiting. There was nothing else to do. Waiting for the funeral. Waiting to wake up from the nightmare that was now reality. Time slowly passed until the darkness of the night gave way to the bleak gray of the predawn. Hermione finally left the boys to return to her rooms to prepare herself for the funeral.
She looked down towards her robes and brushed a microscopic piece of lint off her best set of school robes. She gingerly fingered her Gryffindor patch and let her mind wander over the last six years. She idly wondered how Hogwarts could exist without Professor Dumbledore at its head. A quiet knock on the door broke into her reverie.
"Hermione? Are you ready?" Ginny called through the door. "Harry said he needs us and he's ready to make his way down to the Great Hall."
"Coming." Hermione squared her shoulders and brushed her cheek to insure the remnant of the tear was gone. Then she crossed the room and opened the door and proceeded down the stairs with Ginny. Ginny stopped suddenly and threw her arms around Hermione.
"Everything is going to change isn't it?" She cried.
Hermione nodded as she hugged her back, unable to find words. Ironically she remembered saying something similar herself a couple of years before. Ginny sniffled and pulled away.
"Thanks." She whispered. Hermione nodded and the girls continued to the common room.
The students in the hallway would stop and stare as the four passed by. No one said much and what was spoken was done so in hushed whispers. It seemed every action was meant to reverence the mighty man who had fallen. There was no loud noise. There were no students running through the halls. The days of feeling carefree had passed. The weight of the world had set in. Hermione inwardly decided that she had new respect for Atlas.
"Port key leaves in three minutes, Char." Royce grunted as he thrust out the dilapidated leather glove. Charlie glanced at it as he sighed heavily.
"I just can't believe it's real."
"I know whatcha mean. I kinda thought Dumbledore would live forever."
Charlie nodded his head and reached out to touch the glove. He and Royce were granted permission to leave the reserve to attend the funeral where Jack would meet them. After, they were heading to the ministry to deal with some dragon transportation issues. Charlie was finding it difficult to imagine taking care of routine business when it felt as if the world was ending.
The familiar tug began and before they new it, they were standing near the large shade tree in front of the Shrieking Shack in Hogsmeade. Royce pocketed the glove and the two silently made their way up the road towards the gates of Hogwarts. As they arrived Professor Sinistra, who was manning the gate, greeted them. She nodded soberly at them as they passed through.
Following the stream of people toward the lake, Charlie and Royce could feel the mourning in the air. For a school, it was eerily quiet.
Charlie began to scan the crowd. He desperately wanted to see Hermione and touch her to ease his mind that she was okay. He had heard she was, but Death Eaters had been in the school. Harry, Ron and Hermione always seemed to be in the middle of the action when it came to these things and he wanted to see with his own eyes that she didn't have a scratch on her. He wanted to hold her and let her cry. He wanted to be reassured by her very presence that eventually all would be right in the world again. He had an uncomfortable knot in his stomach that he knew would go away once they could be near each other.
Royce nudged him towards the right side of the hundreds of chairs. Most were already full so they were still near the back, but the glint of red Weasley hair was hard to miss. He scanned the row only to realize that it was Bill and his parents. Charlie gasped as he saw the bandages on Bill's face as he turned to speak to Fleur. He was leaning heavily on her and she was trying to make him more comfortable. Royce nudged him again and he forced himself to move forward sliding into the seats behind his family. Fred and George were sitting a little further along the row.
Charlie squeezed Bill's shoulder causing Bill to flinch. He quickly removed his hand and involuntarily gasped as he saw the claw marks marring his face.
"It's ok Charlie." Bill said simply.
"You're face—no one told me—I knew you were hurt, but…" he trailed off not knowing quite how to put his emotions into words. Bill gingerly lifted himself out of his seat and stood facing his brother. Fleur moved to his side to support him.
"Charlie. I am alive. It's ok."
A single tear dripped down Charlie's face. Bill reached for him and as gently as he could he embraced his brother.
"Bill, I—"
"I know."
They separated and Fleur helped Bill lower himself back to his seat. Charlie remained standing and saw another glimmer of red hair about twenty rows ahead toward the front. There were actually two glimmers of red with a head of dark hair between them. "That must be Harry sitting between Ginny and Ron." He muttered quietly, scanning to find Hermione's trademark locks nearby. She was to Ron's right.
Royce spotted them as well and moved back to let Charlie get to the aisle to walk to where she was when suddenly Charlie froze. Ron had wrapped his arm around her shoulders and was pulling her into his chest. Her shoulders were shaking so she was obviously sobbing. He knew it was innocent, but seeing Ron holding her made his heart stop. His stomach clenched tighter and he sunk into his seat. His eyes were riveted as Ron leaned over and whispered in her ear. He could see the tears shimmering on Ron's cheeks as Hermione answered Ron. He could see them gaze at each other with a knowing look and suddenly Charlie felt lost. He didn't know which end was up. He grasped the edge of his seat to hold himself steady.
"You alright, Mate?" Royce questioned with concern. Charlie just continued to stare ahead so Royce looked in the same direction. "Hey isn't that Hermione—oh." Royce could see another red head holding her too. "You know 'im?"
"Yeah. It's my brother."
"I am sure it's just a friendly thing, Char." Royce reassured him.
"I know, but I can't help thinking maybe she'd be better off with him. It looks natural doesn't it? He's her age. I am an old man."
"Charlie, that girl loves you more than air. She needs you."
Charlie nodded as his heart hardened. He couldn't tear his eyes away. Royce watched him knowing that Charlie was not registering a word he said.
"Charlie. Don't do this to yourself. You love her. She loves you." Charlie nodded absently again, but before Royce could comment further a strange melody seemed to pour out of the lake.
"Well, I'll be dipped in dragon dung." He murmured as the merpeople surfaced. Charlie smirked at the Royce-esque commentary, which had briefly distracted him.
The service was beautiful. The marble tomb was incredible. As the guests rose to leave, Charlie decided to go talk to Hermione no matter how he was feeling. But as he moved towards them, they moved away. He stopped by a tree observing them. He saw Harry come back around the lake to meet up with Ron and Hermione. Someone bumped his arm and he looked down to see a tear-stained Ginny next to him.
"Are you—" Before he could even ask her how she was, she flung herself into Charlie's arms and started to sob. Charlie held her and rubbed her back gently while she cried. His eyes remained on the three by the lake, but he offered what comfort he could to his sister. It almost looked like they were fighting, but then they seemed to come to some sort of decision.
He was so intent on his observations, he didn't realize that Ginny had pulled herself together and was looking at him.
"He is going to do it." Ginny said barely audibly.
"Do what?" Charlie turned to look at her.
"Finish off you-know-who. He said he had to do it. He said that he couldn't have a life until it was over. He said that we—" she began to shake as the tears fell again.
"That you couldn't what Gin?" Charlie asked gently as he held her by her shoulders.
"That he couldn't bear to lose someone else he loved and that he needed to make sure I was safe so Vol—Vol—so I couldn't be used to hurt him like Sirius was." She shakily stammered out.
"So you two finally…" Charlie looked at her questioningly.
She nodded with a hiccup and a sigh. "For the last few weeks my life has been absolutely perfect, and now I don't know if anything will ever be right again."
"I know just how you feel, Ginny." Charlie muttered as he pulled her in to hug her.
"Will you ride the train home with me Charlie? I just can't be alone knowing I can't be by him…I just…it hurts too much right now."
"Do you want me to apparate you to the Burrow?"
Ginny shook her head. "If they never open Hogwarts again, then I want one more chance to…well, you know."
Charlie understood. "Yeah, Gin. I'll be there. I just need to let Royce know my change of plans. Come with?"
Ginny nodded and followed Charlie over to the group surrounding her family. While she said goodbye to their parents and the twins, Charlie had a few whispered words with Royce and then followed Ginny up to the castle to retrieve her trunk and cage. He looked around nostalgically at the walls, the armor, and the paintings. The life seemed to have left the building. He supposed the whole castle was mourning. As they neared the Gryffindor common room, Charlie's mind flashed back to the happier days when he had been a student here. He wondered if the inside had changed much and was pleased to see that it looked exactly the same…time worn and comfortable.
He selected one of the plushy chairs in front of the hearth to wait for Ginny. He had spent so many hours in this very chair. The portrait had opened and shut several times as he waited but no one spoke to him as they gathered their things and said goodbye to their friends.
Suddenly, his neck tingled. She was close. He could feel it. He stood slowly and turned to look at the portrait hole just as she came through. His gaze saw only her but he couldn't move. He just looked. She looked pale and tired, but not injured. He gasped in a deep gulp of air not realizing until that moment that he had been holding his breath.
The sound attracted her attention and as her eyes swept the area of the room by the fireplace she stopped so suddenly that Harry ran into her.
"Hermione." He muttered.
"Charlie." She whispered.
Harry and Ron followed her eyes across the room.
"Charlie!" Ron yelled moving quickly to his brother. "I am so glad to see you." They shared a brotherly hug, but Charlie's eyes never wavered from Hermione.
"She needs you mate." Ron whispered into Charlie's ear. "She's been a rock, but she needs to let it out." Charlie nodded and continued to lock eyes with Hermione.
Harry nudged Hermione out of the main aisle and towards the fireplace. She stumbled slightly, but caught herself. Ron and Harry discreetly moved toward the stairs. "I am sure you are already packed, but we have a few things to finish up." Harry said softly as he passed her. She nodded and stopped a few feet from Charlie.
After they were alone, they continued staring at one another until finally Hermione broke the silence.
"What's wrong?"
Charlie smirked. "You mean other than the end of the world?"
Hermione smiled briefly but then her eyes grew serious. "When did you get here?"
"Just before the funeral." He answered taking a step closer to her.
"Why didn't you find me?" She asked tentatively as her eyes glistened with unshed tears.
"You were with Ron…and Harry."
"Charlie, you stupid man!" She cried as she flung herself into his arms. "I need you!"
Charlie breathed normally for the first time in hours. He couldn't believe how much he needed to hear that. He felt like a child for feeling so insecure, but now that she had read him like a book and was hugging him tightly, he felt like he once again knew which way was up.
"You called me stupid." He chuckled into her hair.
"You are. You should have more faith in me."
"How do you know me so well, Bookworm?"
"Your eyes. I feel like sometimes I can see into your soul and it breaks my heart to see pain there. And…Charlie…I am so glad you are here!"
"Me too. I am glad you need me once in a while."
He hugged her more tightly and they just held each other for a long time.
As the Hogwarts express pulled out of Hogsmeade, Hermione pulled Ron aside. "Stay with Harry, I will do rounds. Charlie is on the train to be with Ginny so I am going to check on them too, but I don't think that Harry should be alone right now."
Ron nodded. "I think you're right. Make sure Ginny is ok. Harry told me what he did. I know Ginny is hurt, but I kinda see his point too. And since we're leaving----"
"SHHH!"
"Well, because of what's going to happen, I think he was probably right to do it."
"It doesn't make it hurt less though does it?"
Ron shook his head. "Tell her I am here for her."
"I will." Hermione said. "Bye Harry. I am off to do rounds." Harry nodded absently as she slid the door shut. She leaned against the wall in the hallway and took a deep shuddering breath. Harry was in bad shape. She could see the determination in his face. Life was about to get very difficult.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: This wonderful world belongs to JKR!