a/n: SORRY! I was in the middle of finals and I just disappeared, I apologize. But I am back with new chapters! I hope you enjoy!

insouciant: (adj.) free from worry, concern or anxiety

They managed to get Elizabeth in the car undetected and drove off. There was still a two men security detail which she found ridiculous but figured it was something for later.

"Are you okay?" Henry grabbed her hand and brought it to his lips to place a kiss on it.

"Yeah." Her voice was shaky but stern and she looked out the window.

How much things had changed in only a week. This time last week she had been in an airplane on her way home. Something she had given up on. That wouldn't be possible, yet here she was.

Reunited with her kids and husband. It was the best feeling in the world and words couldn't begin to express how much she had missed them.

Thinking back, this time last month she had been in that room. Still his prisoner with no chance of ever escaping. She had given up hope and was near ready to surrender.

What good was keeping up the fight. It didn't seem to make a difference to him. In fact, he seemed to only enjoy it more.

Once taken, she figured she would be rescued within forty-eight hours. When the first month passed by, she figured it would take a bit longer but never had she imagined it would be over a year.

More than twelve months separated from her family. Her friends. Her colleagues. The people she loved.

Realizing there was no one coming from her because no one knew she was alive had hit her hard. She had been in a downwards spiral until she realized the only way out, was to do it herself.

After months of trying to reason. Of hoping for a way out, she knew no one was coming to save her because no one knew about her.

The world thought she was dead.

"Look." Henry pointed outside the car window as the saw the farm in the near distance. They hadn't spoken a word the entire car ride.

Upon seeing the farm, a smile broke loose on her lips and she was eager to get out. She knew there was still a risk of the press laying about, but she didn't care. She wanted to be outside and walk freely.

Once they reached the farm, she got out and the agents helped put her suitcase inside.

"So what do you want to do first?" Henry asked as he grabbed two glasses.

"Go outside." As soon as he put the glasses on the counter, she grabbed his hand and dragged him outside.

They started a walk around the house and Elizabeth kept looking around and up at the sky. It was one of those things she had missed dearly during the past year.

"How are you?" Henry asked and Elizabeth rested her head on his shoulder as they continued to walk.

"I'm okay."

"Did you sleep okay?"

"Not really." She admitted. She hadn't told him about her latest nightmare yet, but it wasn't something she was particularly interested in doing right now either.

"Anything you want to tell me?"

"It's pretty much the same as the others."

They finished their walk around the house and by the time they were done, Elizabeth was tired. She didn't want to be inside, but she needed to sit down.

They had never been alone like this before and it scared Henry a bit. There was no kids coming to help her if she didn't want him. No backup.

She had made it clear she didn't need the kids. That she needed him but things could change.

"Do you trust me?" Elizabeth stepped in front of Henry and he stopped what he was doing to look at her.

"With everything I have."

She was scared to death of his touch and that had to change. She wanted them to work on it. Together.

"I want to try something. I want you to do everything he did."

"What? No! I'm not hurting you." His voice louder than he intended and he took a step back in. Had she gone mad?

"I don't mean that." She tried to reassure him and stepped closer. Grabbing his hand she placed it on her cheek.

Henry moved his hand to the back of her head as she had asked him to do a few days ago but she stopped him. "Put it back."

Hesitantly, he withdrew his hand until it lay on her cheek. He could see her fighting inner battles to not flinch away from his touch.

"Babe-"

"Give me your other hand." She order and he offered it to her. Slowly, she maneuvered it until she placed it on her neck.

Henry wondered what it meant and what had happened to her. Then, his mind put two and two together and realized he must have chocked her at some point.

"Now kiss me." She told him but he stood frozen in place. His mind was still processing what was going on so she leaned forwards and kissed him.

His hands still on her cheek and neck, she brushed her lips against his and eventually he kissed back.

After a while, she pulled back and Henry lowered his hands to his side.

"I'm sorry, Henry. I'm really trying." She apologized.

"Don't be! You've only been home for a week. Do you know how proud I am of you? But you're pushing yourself too hard." Henry promised her and she looked down with a slight blush on her cheeks.

"I just- I don't want you to wake up one morning and wonder why you're still bothering with me." The tears in her eyes when she looked up caused him to sighed and pull her in a tight hug. One she desperately needed.

"Elizabeth Adams Mccord. I promise you that until the day I die, I will always stand by your side. I will always support you and I will love you unconditionally. I promise to never leave you or the kids."

"I love you." A sob came from somewhere buried in his shoulder and her wrapped his arms around her even tighter.

"I love you, too."

He held on until he felt her loosen her grip. He pushed her back and with his thumbs, he dried the tears on her face.

A beautiful smile broke out on her face and he smiled before kissing her forehead. "Ready for some lunch?"

"Yes." She slumped down on one of the chairs as Henry set the table.

"I never got to ask how you handled things here while I was gone."

"We managed." A sighed left his mouth as he thought back of the past year.

So many things had happened where he had really needed the support of his wife. Whether it was something with Jason at school or girl stuff with Alison or Stevie.

"I'm sorry you had to go at it alone."

"Well," Henry started as he sat down opposite of her. "the worst part was always having to put the shams on the big pillows."

Elizabeth let out a laugh as she remembered the both of them agreeing it was the worst job in the whole house. "I guess I'm on pillow duty for the next year."

"Yeah, you've got a lot to make up for." Henry teased and saw her smile.

They ate in silence for a little while, both deep in thought. Elizabeth couldn't imagine she had only been back for a week. It felt like much longer but also not at all.

Thinking back, she wondered what had happened to the people who helped her escape. What would happen to the people who took her? Was he still in charge? Did the United States retaliate? So many unanswered questions.

However, her head started to spin and she quickly pushed her thoughts aside. Looking up from her plate, she noticed Henry was already finished so she quickly did too.

"Anything you want to do today?"

"I want to go outside again." She told him. "but right now, I just want to enjoy us."

Henry let himself be guided to the couch, leaving the dishes for later. He sat down and held his wife close as they lay down.

"I asked to call you." Elizabeth suddenly let out. She was playing with Henry's wedding ring on his hand that he protectively put around her and gently rested on her stomach.

"What do you mean?"

"When I was there, I asked to call you. I just wanted you to know I was still alive." She sighed. "I did call, days before I escaped."

"You called me?"

"Yes but I hung up."

"Wait that was you?" Henry asked in disbelieve. He remembered the phone call but figured it was either a prank call or a wrong number. "Why did you hang up?"

"I figured if me escaping went south, you wouldn't have to go through mourning me, again." She stopped fiddling with his ring and closed her eyes. She still couldn't wrap her head around the fact that her family had mourned her death.

"But I would've had a chance to talk to you again." He intertwined his fingers with hers as she rested her head against his chest. "Do you know how many times I just wished to hear your voice again? To talk to you for even just a minute."

"Do you know how many 'pretend' conversations we've had while I was there." Elizabeth chuckled. So many times she would pretend to talk to her kids or Henry, just to keep her sane. To get her through the day. "The one thing no one will ever be able to take from me is my memories of you."

"Let me guess, you always won the arguments in those conversations." He teased and she laughed.

"Of course." Her laughter died down and her tone became serious again. "Henry, I died."

"Yes, but you came back."

"I still died. I'm so sorry for putting you through that. I can't imagine what it must have been like for you."

"For me? You were the one that got taken." He would never be able to fully comprehend how she could be so selfless in times like this.

"But at least I knew you were still alive."

"I gave up on you. I should've known."

"You couldn't have known. The entire world thought I was dead."

Henry squeezed her hand a little and took a breath to control his anger. "Yes, but they weren't married to you for over twenty-five years."

"Wait are we even still married?" Elizabeth suddenly wondered. It wasn't like this happened everyday and there were rules for it.

"To me we are, but legally I have no idea. I could look into it at work." Henry promised her.

"I've been so selfish. Henry, I never even asked where you work now."

"Babe, it's fine. Don't worry about it." He hoped she would stop fussing. He understood she wasn't as focused on him as she was on the kids. "I'm an ethics advisor for Conrad."

"You work for the president?" Elizabeth asked shocked. She would've imagined he had maybe made a switch in jobs but not this. Then again, knowing Conrad, he would probably take Henry and the rest of her family under his wing after what happened.

"Yes, and he gave me off as long as I need."

"Reminded me to thank him next time I see him." Elizabeth turned around and looked up. Slowly she inched forwards until their lips touched again.

"I missed you." Henry said between kisses.

"Me too."

After Elizabeth had rested for a bit, she was ready to go back outside. She wanted to enjoy the fresh air and just being able to move around freely.

As they stepped outside, she narrowed her eyes a little. The sunlight still hurt her sometimes.

She still had moments where the light from above was simply too bright and her head felt as though it was about to explode from the sheer sensation and intensity of it.

Taking a moment to get used to it, she felt Henry grab her hand. She smiled as her eyes met his before they set off on their walk.

"You don't have to tell me now but how did you manage to get out of there?" Henry asked, hoping it would cause her to open up and talk about it more.

"It was actually just plain luck." She sighed as she thought back of the event that had happened last week. "A guard took a wrong turn and accidentally found me."

"Not everyone knew you were there, right?" Henry remembered her telling the FBI something about only a few trusted men knowing she was there.

"No. His name was Agapito and he left, but promised to come back. A few days later he did come back with another man and the Secretary of Defense. Later on his son, Antony, and his wife Odette brought me back to the US."

"Thank you."

Elizabeth frowned at the unusual reply. "For what?"

"For telling me. For hanging on long enough to come back to us." He wrapped his arm around her shoulder and they continued to walk.

There was so much he still didn't know, but piece by piece he was able to get a better understanding of the year his wife had.

He figured there would always be things he wouldn't know, but to him it was important to know enough to be able to help her. To guide her whenever she had nightmares or flinched when something reminded her of what happened back there.

TBC