Chapter 9: The Hero and the Fool

When the monoliths settled down, Natsuki Subaru began his trial.

Or, rather, he began the trial for the 11th time.

It sure did not help that his only "aide" was dumber than him.

"Come on master! I know you can do it! The eleventh time's the charm!"

"You could actually help me out couldn't you!? Make yourself useful, bum!"

As expected, this trial was yet another failure. Despite having mounted so many defeats in quick succession, Subaru was not going to give up. From what he found out, all he had to do was find a certain monolith and touch it.

Problem is, they all look the same.

By now, he was relying on the process of elimination. Would it take him days? Maybe, but it would eventually work. Besides, what the hell was the trial supposed to be? "Touch the brightest hero killed by Shaula?" This woman could not kill a mosquito.

Once more, he touched the monolith and watched it spread out into an immeasurable number of duplicates. Shaula (very unhelpfully) repeated the instructions. All right, time to try again. Subaru had a good feeling about this one!

He failed.

Alright, one less monolith. Maybe he'd get it right next time. All he had to do wa-

"Come on master! You know a lot about this kinda stuff! You always liked stars!"

"What the hell do stars have to do with this anyway!? You're the one who killed someone, you take the trial in my stead!"

"Sorry master! You specifically told me not to take the trials a~t all!"

He was going to find this "master" of hers and drop him from the tower's peak.

One more attempt. The black slab broke into many others and formed drawings with them. Wait, drawings…" always liked stars" …

How could he have not seen it earlier?

With some help from Shaula, he climbed atop one of the slabs and looked down at the others. His suspicions were confirmed: these were not drawings, but constellations.

He smacked himself in the head. What an idiot. This was so easy now! There was one specific monolith he should find, one that represented the star named…

Betelgeuse.

Even if it was not the Archbishop's name per se, just thinking about that decrepit thing made him feel sick. What a vile existence he was.

Hurrying over to the monolith, he touched it and observed as all of them converged on their starting position and disappeared. Afterwards, the room lost its white colored and took on a more unique form.

It was a massive library.

Endless rows of books stretched beyond what he could see. All of them were in this new language, of course, but that did not matter: the memories he'd gained thanks to his brothers were more than enough to understand these glyphs as easily as he understood Japanese.

"Woah! Master's library sure is huge! Does master have a book about me somewhere…?"

He shook his head, exasperated. "Hell if I know. Find your master and ask him."

"But master is right here," she replied and jumped onto his back.

"Hey! Get off!"

Realizing that he was weaker than this eccentric "keeper" was one of Subaru's least proud moments.

It took some convincing to get her off his back, but eventually Shaula hopped off and wandered around the library, looking for something that piqued her interest. After a couple of minutes, she returned carrying a book.

"Master! Look! Look! It's Reid Astrea's book! I'm so~ glad he's dead. Aren't you?"

"I don't even know the damn guy! And cut the whole 'master' thing out! Your master is probably somewhere in this tower, and they killed an acquaintance of mine."

Shaula stared at him as if he'd become see-through. "Master? Are you alright? Don't you remember? You told me to wait here until you came back."

"I never even met you! And I never even asked for this!"

She turned, facing away from him, and began to walk toward another part of the library. Subaru wondered about her sudden change in demeanor, but decided not to pay it much heed.

He could swear he heard her mutter something about 400 years being wasted.

Inside the Mathers manor, two maids were working in sync to help clean the main entrance's floor when the Margrave arrived.

"My, my, I see our newest addition is working qui~te diligently. Splendid! You tru~ly have a good eye, Frederica."

Frederica, one of the two, bowed deeply, while the other maid, a young girl with orange hair, attempted to imitate her senior's gesture.

Having only joined the mansion's staff a few days earlier, the junior maid stammered out, "Thanks, mister Mathers…"

"Now, Petra, remember: it's Lord Mathers," her superior corrected.

"Ha, why, it's quite a~lright, Frederica. I've no desire to burden the poor girl any fu~rther. Now, I must take my leave for today. We'll meet again at dinner."

With that, the Margrave walked away and – once outside the mansion – took off flying.

"I'm sorry, miss Frederica. I keep forgetting the honorifics."

"Don't worry. I had trouble with them too, when I was first hired. You'll get them soon enough."

"How long did it take you, miss Frederica?"

The senior maid chuckled. "It was about a month before I gained the approval of my teacher. He was very strict too."

"Only a month? Oh! Maybe your teacher can teach me!"

The demi-human's sharp smile fell. "You'll, um, get to meet him later…"

"When?"

"When you're my age. It's for your sake, little Petra."

Petra could only pout at this statement, and Frederica's smile returned as she petted her junior's head.

The two had met some days ago when Frederica went to Arlam looking for a possible recruit. With Rem on probation and Ram being Ram, the manor was understaffed and in need of new hands to help. Petra offered to join, as she claimed to need money for her family and so she could chase her dream of being a seamstress.

Frederica knew that the girl had a bright future ahead.

Which was exactly why she would never, ever, let her meet Clind.

It seemed like, to the infamous butler, age was only a number.

She wanted to show him that the afterlife was just a place.

Lost in thought, she did not notice Petra finish cleaning one of the door's handles to the point it shone. "There! Did I do good, miss Frederica?"

"You did very good. Now, do you remember where the kitchen is? Let's go make dinner."

As the two maids headed off, they did not spot the blue-haired girl watching them both with envy.

As he ascended to the next floor, Electra, Subaru wondered how he could fix this.

After Shaula sulked off in the library, he had gone on to inspect some of the books. They all had the names of specific people, and he was considering reading one at random when she returned and beckoned him to a staircase that led to Electra.

Throughout the whole walk up, the normally cheerful woman barely uttered a word. What's more, try as she might to hide it, Subaru could see her eyes were puffy and her smile was strained. With every step he took, he thought of a way he could apologize to her or find some way to cheer her up.

Shaula seemed to want to reunite with her master, who he suspected was the tower's keeper and the sniper who had attacked him and cost Volk his life. From what she said, however, he started to think that her master, "Flugel," had left and not returned.

Which meant the shooter was…

It did not matter. If anyone was to blame for all of this, it was that Flugel. What's more Subaru could not pass himself off as her master: that would just break her heart when she realized it was a trick. Also, he could not just keep telling her that this Flugel was gone since that's what depressed her in the first place.

Every time he glanced at her, Shaula put on the best smile she could and kept her cheer, but Subaru saw through it. He began to think that, maybe, the comment he overheard her say in the library was literal. It was either that or the poor woman was insane.

He quickly gave her a sidelong look and averted his eyes again.

He could not bear to see her like this.

So, for the entire trek to the new floor, he sought a way to cheer her up. If he scoured his memories – or, rather, the memories he gained – he could probably find a good stage trick to pull off for her. Unfortunately, recreating the tricks would be impossible until he cut off whatever was jamming his Authority.

Then he found himself in Electra, a wide room with no decorations apart from a sword in the center. Taking into account the singular blade, the dim lighting, and the sheer space of the room, one thought came to Subaru's earthly mind.

"This is just like Dark Souls!"

The keeper's eyes seemed to glisten at the mention of the notorious video game, but she quickly regained her old look of barely-hidden gloom.

"Hey, Shaula, this whole place reeks of 'second trial' to me, huh?"

"Yes, master."

"Say, when I pass this one, you can have the cool sword."

"Thanks, master…"

Both of them, keeper and cultist, stood in the room and gazed at the sword without uttering a word. Subaru could have used his dagger to cut the tension in the air. Sparing one last look at Shaula, he sat down and patted the floor on his right, waiting for her to copy him.

He did not even need to turn to know she followed his directive.

As silence reigned throughout the room, he lifted his right hand and grabbed her shoulder, slowly lowering her head to his lap.

The silence remained for a couple of minutes until it was broken by the keeper's snore.

With extreme care, as if he was lifting a glass vase worth millions, he lifted her head and placed it back on top of the gospel he carried everywhere on his clothes. A few more minutes passed as he ensured that she remained asleep, and, with the lightest step he could muster, Subaru made his way to the sword at the center of the room. Giving it a light touch, he heard a voice in his mind utter something about gaining the approval of the "heavenly fool," whoever they may be.

Before him materialized an individual who personified the word "messy." With long, unkempt hair, an eyepatch, and a half-worn red kimono, the man yawned and look around the room until his eyes settled on Subaru's.

"Oi, you, damn prick disturbing my sleep. I ought t-"

His sentence ended halfway through as Subaru was all over him in a split second, shushing him and desperately making hand signals toward the sleeping keeper. The man looked Shaula over from head to toe and smiled, showing all of his teeth. He reminded Subaru of a shark, and that was something he deeply disliked.

The man turned to Subaru with the smirk still on his face. "Why, if you'd told me that you'd brought such a lass here I woulda let you pass for free, you. A shame I can't do that."

"If I heard the voice right, you must be the Heavenly Fool."

"'Heavenly Fool!?' Why, you little…"

Subaru flailed his arms with nervousness. "Sorry! Sorry, that's what the tower called you."

"What tower, you!?"

"So, just guessing here, but is there any chance you'll let me pass for free, heh?"

The man just shook his head.

"I should've known…"

Judging by the room's size and the man's appearance, Subaru guessed that this trial was most likely going to be much different from the last. It would most likely require less brain and more brawn.

That was a very bad thing, considering that the man could snap him in half like a twig.

"Are ya jus' going to stand there, you?"

"Hey, I've no clue what to do! How am I supposed to gain your approval!?"

Again, the man looked him over. "Tell you what, wimp. If ya can get me to take a single step in any direction, I'll let you pass, you."

"That's all?"

"Sure is, you."

Taking out his daggers, Subaru assumed a battle stance. "Ready when you are, redhead."

"Heh. The name's Hauroy Rallior."

At this, the man dug his hands into his kimono and pulled out a pair of chopsticks. He gave them a couple of clacks, nodded, and pointed them at Subaru.

"Ya don't know what you're getting into, little prick."

His opponent only smiled and replied, "My name's Natsuki Subaru, and I'm an Archbishop of the Witch Cult, representing Gluttony."

In the royal capital of Lugnica, it was a normal day for all.

For once in their ancient lives, the councilors decided to take a day off.

Which left two door guards with a whole day of nothing to do.

"Ooooh, look at that one! It's a fine piece of steel, I admit!"

Linneke was enjoying the fact that she did not have to work today. As a little self-gift for her continued excellence at protecting a door, she was looking for a new weapon to try out in battle. Not like anyone was going to attack the castle, of course, but looking the part was every bit as important as playing it.

"A glaive? Are you even sure you can, I don't know, lift it? That thing is as tall as you!"

Olsed was never one for close combat. His talents lay…elsewhere…

"Sure, let's leave it, Ols. That way, when someone tries to break into the throne room, you can throw little gusts of air at them! It'd be fun to see you try to blow them away, though!"

"Insult air magic again and I'll show you!"

"Oh, I'm so scared. What're you going to do to me, ruin my haircut?"

He did, in fact, ruin her haircut.

Between chuckles, Olsed only replied, "Serves you right!"

While the two bickered in the middle of the market square, a man walked into the store they were standing in front of.

A man wearing the uniform of the royal guard. A man with short, purple hair.

A man Linneke recognized.

"Ols, holy hell! It's Julius Juukulius!"

"What? That's him?"

"Yes, you blind fool!"

"You know him?"

"Obviously! My brother's in the Iron Fang!"

"I don't quite follow…"

She slapped the back of his head. "As slow as ever, Ols. Julius is Anastasia Hoshin's knight! You know, the president of the Iron Fang?"

"Ah. Still, that's the 'Finest Knight?' I expected someone of his reputation to be…a little older…"

Both of them looked at the knight as he went about his business and snooped around the store, most likely looking for something to buy. Linneke could barely contain her excitement, while Olsed had doubt all over his expression.

The famed knight apparently only came to the store to speak with its owner, and, after exchanging some words, they shook hands and the knight left.

He was not blind enough to not notice the two bystanders staring at him.

Turning to those two, the purple-haired man spoke, "Greetings, I am Julius Juukulius. Judging by your expressions, I can tell that you already know me, am I correct."

"I don't know, you're shorter than I expected," Olsed replied, which earned him another smack from his co-worker.

"Young miss, I believe I recognize you from somewhere. Have we met before?"

"No! Not at all, sir! I believe you might've met my brother! He works for the Iron Fang!"

Julius thought for a moment. "I believe I met him, yes. Was his name Laurens, by any chance?"

"Yes! That's him! He's two years older than me, a complete idiot, can't remember anything!"

"I see. Well, it is good to meet you then, young miss. I look forward to telling your brother about this encounter. Have a good day."

As he walked off, the two guards looked at each other.

Linneke chuckled and nodded, while Olsed only mumbled, "Stupid fancy knight."

The duel ended like it began: abruptly.

Feeling his limbs ache and his lungs struggle to work, Subaru decided to admit defeat once more. While Hauroy laughed heartily, he struggled to get up and make his way toward the still-sleeping Shaula.

"Hey, Shaula," he said, gently nudging her to wake her up.

"Snore…"

"Come on, we're going back down. I need you to show me that room you talked about, the one with the spirit and the plants."

She stretched. "Master always said I was like a cat when sleeping! Master was smart, but Shaula is smarter!"

"With that hair of yours, you're more of a scorpion than a cat."

"Master also said that, yep!"

As she opened her eyes and stood up, she handed Subaru his gospel back and turned to see Hauroy.

The color drained from her face. "REID!? WHAT'S REID ASTREA DOING HERE!?"

"'Reid Astrea?' I thought that your name was Hauroy something."

Reid shrugged. "Does it matter what I call myself, you?"

"I guess it doesn't," was his response. He grabbed Shaula, who was pale and most likely in shock, by the forearm and motioned her toward the stairs from which they came from. When it became clear she was too stunned to move, he gently pulled her with him.

Taking the first steps down the stairs, Shaula finally shook off her shock. "Why was Reid there, master? The man is te~rrible! He's a womanizer and a drunk!"

"Really? I mean, I get the womanizer part, but he didn't really seem drunk."

Shaula whispered as if telling a horror story. "Reid is the worst of the worst of the worst! I was hoping he was dead forever! His whole bloodline deserves to disappear!"

"Bloodline…I think I know a descendant of his. Does the name 'Reinhard' ring any bells?"

"Nope! And I hope it never does!"

The two walked down until they reached the library. Its size still amazed Subaru, though he had something specific in mind now.

"Hey, Shaula, remember how you brought me that book about Reid Astrea?"

"Yep! That was right before master went upstairs!"

"Yes. Can you find me that book again? I might have a plan."

She nodded and went off into the library. While he waited for her to return, he went over the memories his brothers had acquired for him, hopefully looking to find anything that might assist him in his fight against the immovable redhead.

"Ma~ster! I found the book!"

Much quicker than expected, but that was good. "Thanks, Shaula. Do you know what this book's about?"

"Yep! It's about that bastard!"

He should've expected an answer like that.

Nonetheless, he sat down against the bookshelf and crossed his legs. Before opening Reid's book and peering into whatever secrets lay within, which he absolutely expected to be mostly inappropriate, Subaru checked his gospel.

There was still no change. It was odd, but nothing to really worry about. Lye had said he'd feel the gospel's updates like a sixth sense, but he had not had a chance to really try that theory out yet.

Now that he was sure there was nothing else to do, he opened the book titled Reid Astrea and felt his consciousness slip.

It all felt dark for a second, and it reminded him of the dreaded void where the entity proclaimed its love.

When all his senses came back, he noticed he was standing in a swirling tunnel of blue and white. It was bright, and possibly the furthest thing from that emotionless abyss he experienced so many times now.

And in front of him stood a blond girl with sharp teeth.

AN: SMT!

AN 2: Fixed an error that Reid in the tower mentions Flugel, when the two have not actually met