A/N: Thank you to everyone who has reviewed! Much love goes out to all of you. I'm so glad that you guys are liking the story so far :D I love getting feedback. I'm a whore for it, what can I say?

Warning: Slight yaoi in this chapter.

Disclaimer: Do. Not. Own.

Chapter Five

"Please don't go crazy if I tell you the truth
No, you don't know what happened,
And you never will if
You don't listen to me while I talk to the wall
This blanket is freezing, it's been out in the hall
Where you've had me for hours
Till I'm sure what I want,
But darling, I want the same thing that I wanted before
So sweetheart tell me what's up, I won't stop, no way."

-How To Be Dead by Snow Patrol

A rustling nearby caused him to jerk his head up. If that stupid cockroach had followed him out here . . .

But his sour disposition only curdled more when he saw a small group of about four or five youkai approaching him, the leader grinning as if in triumph at his find and cracking his knuckles.

"Oh ho! The great Genjyo Sanzo, all alone and defenseless? What happened to your little youkai bodyguards, eh?"

Sanzo could feel his left eye twitching ever so slightly. This was the very last thing he needed right now. Or maybe, he reconsidered with a smirk spreading on his lips, it was just what he needed. He carefully stood up and made a show of dusting off his robes in an unhurried way. The youkai who had spoken frowned and brandished his sharp claws towards the unworried monk.

"Hey, baldy, I'm threatenin' you here! You better be ready, because we're gonna take that sutra from your cold, dead body!"

Sanzo snuffed out his cigarette and blew out the smoke of the last drag he had taken. "I don't think so."

"Wha—" The youkai snarled and crouched, ready to attack. The others behind him did the same, all having that annoying determined look in their eyes. Sanzo smiled coldly and pulled out his gun, more than happy to give this scum the death they rightfully deserved.

The youkai, however, was faster than he looked. He lunged at Sanzo, the blond only having a split second to dodge and bring his gun around to fire. He swore when the bullet only got the youkai's shoulder, spinning to the others before they could overcome him. He managed to take down two before the others and the leader surrounded him, coming towards him with growls and claws raised. Sanzo mentally cursed; there were three of them, and he only had two bullets left.

Making up his mind quickly, he took careful aim and shot one—then the other—while trying to avoid their advances. The two youkai went down with strangled howls, Sanzo dancing back so that he wouldn't get too close to the leader. The surviving youkai called him a wild string of curses and the like while jumping towards him. Sanzo tried to reload, but the youkai took him down to the ground, trying to use his deadly claws to slice the monk into ribbons. Sanzo could feel the scratches accumulating on his body, but he ignored them all and dropped his gun in favor of using his hands to reach up and twist the youkai's head, breaking his neck. The body fell heavily on top of him, making him grunt in pain. He pushed it off with effort and sat for a minute, regaining his breath and wondering why these youkai had been a little more difficult to kill than usual. After all, back when he had been traveling alone, this would have been nothing.

He thought it might have had to do with the others and getting too used to their help in battles that he had gotten rusty on fighting them by himself. He frowned at that, wiping the sweat off his forehead before reaching over to pick up his gun, reloading it quickly just in case. Tentatively he got to his feet and wobbled a little, but it was nothing too serious. The youkai had managed to cut him up quite a bit, but it was nothing that Hakkai couldn't help fix, and even though he had gotten a little winded he was sure he could walk back to the inn no problem.

Sanzo frowned again at his thoughts. He was right: he was depending too much on those bastards travelling with him.

And even the notion of depending on an idiot like the kappa made him feel physically ill. Or that could have been because he was losing more blood than he had suspected. Not even bothering to look back at the bodies, he walked away from the copse of trees and back towards the inn, steeling himself for the tirade he would get from Hakkai and Goku and already feeling his ire rise.

The sun was in the midst of setting when he got there, and as predicted, Hakkai exclaimed over his injuries and Goku demanded to know what had happened and where. Sanzo, strangely enough, did not see Gojyo anywhere, but he found this a relief and didn't bother questioning the others about it. The idiot was probably already drinking himself into oblivion and finding some slut to take back to his room tonight instead of him.

That thought alone made Hakkai ask about the sudden grimace that had appeared on his face. Sanzo brushed it off as nothing and, instead of having the healer of their group use his chi to heal the scratches, he said he would take care of them himself and headed towards his room, leaving a stunned Hakkai and an angry saru behind him.

When he opened the door to his room, however, his agitation seemed to skyrocket almost beyond his control when he saw a head of red hair by the window, turning around when Sanzo entered and eyes widening at his current state.

"What the hell happened?" he asked before Sanzo could order him to get out. "Were you ambushed or something?"

"Something like that," Sanzo said frostily. "What the fuck are you doing here?" Their little act from earlier was still spinning around in his head, taunting and confusing him, and it didn't help to be staring at the person who had started the entire mess, easily in punching distance. He honestly considered his options but was startled out of his thoughts when Gojyo came closer to him and took hold of him, examining an especially nasty laceration on his upper arm. Sanzo needed to stop the bleeding soon.

"You were . . ." There was this stupid look on the kappa's face, as if he was at a loss of what to say but wanting to let Sanzo know how worried he was. Sanzo let out a noise of irritation and effortlessly got out of the red-head's hold, moving over to the bed and putting down the bag of medicinal things that he had taken from Hakkai.

"Those youkai bastards are everywhere. It shouldn't be a surprise."

Gojyo turned to him, his eyes still full of that emotion that Sanzo hated to see. "But still, you were alone."

"I've been taking care of myself since I was thirteen, idiot. I know how to kill stupid creatures." He saw the slight downturn of lips on the other male's face before turning back to the contents of the bag, taking out what he needed to see to his grazes. "Get out. I need to stop the bleeding."

The kappa shook his head. "I fucking hate what you do to me."

Sanzo stiffened. "Excuse me? What the hell have I ever done to you, erogappa? If I remember correctly, it's you who keeps harassing me all the fucking time!"

Gojyo shook his head again, his hair swaying with the movement. "You put me through hell, you damn monk. You make me worry, you drag me through this endless torture session—" Sanzo snorted. "—and you refuse to even listen to me. And you make me feel these things I'd be a hell of a lot happier without feeling."

"That makes two of us."

"Would you just—!" Gojyo took a deep breath and ran his hand through his hair. Sanzo smirked. "You kissed me back."

That made the half-smile disappear from the blond's face. He clutched the linen bandages in suddenly trembling hands and he gave the kappa a murderous look. If only looks could actually kill.

Gojyo started to walk towards him. "Whatever you say, I know that something got through. You reacted, anyway, even if you try to deny it." Too close again. Much too close. Sanzo was about to grab the harisen to let him have it but then the red-head's face was in his again, their noses almost touching. Something lurched dangerously in the pit of Sanzo's stomach.

"I think you're trying to repress something, Sanzo-sama," Gojyo continued, one of his confident little smiles in place. "What could it be? Could it be . . ." He leaned over and whispered into his right ear, " . . . that you want to do it again?" Sanzo shuddered at the sensation of the hot breath hitting his ear, Gojyo moving his lips over the area of his neck but not actually touching the skin. The trembling worsened. Sanzo knew that he couldn't say anything, because if he even tried to open his mouth, something embarrassing might just slip out—like the noise he wanted to make when Gojyo's mouth found his other ear, the sound of his breathing loud and seemingly filling every space in Sanzo's head.

"Could it be that you want me?" Gojyo murmured. "But no, you don't know what you want." He moved again, bringing his face to Sanzo's, their mouths not even an inch apart. "But I . . ." He brought them closer still, teasing, taunting, never touching. Sanzo thought that he just might go crazy in this moment, that he would finally snap and do something regrettable. Gojyo's lips were so unbearably close and not making any sort of contact. Against his will he looked up at crimson eyes staring intently at him, locked onto their depth and wondering why the emotion still hadn't burnt out of them by now.

"I do know what I want," the red-head nearly whispered, lips ever closer. Sanzo could almost feel them, even though no skin was connecting. "But I can't do anything," closer, "unless I know what you really want . . ." The slightest touch of his lips on Sanzo's, the barest sensation, and then the blond was gripping the front of Gojyo's shirt and bringing him down to meet him full-on.

He wasn't sure what he was doing, and berated himself mentally non-stop, but it didn't make him cease his actions. Gojyo pressed his mouth onto his hungrily, as if wanting desperately to eat his favorite meal before it was taken away from him. Sanzo let his lips part for Gojyo to come exploring again, the slick feeling of their tongues against one another something that made a violent shudder run through him. Gojyo's left hand wrapped around him to rest at his lower back, the other running down his front, slipping through the fold of the robes and brushing a nipple through the tight black top. Sanzo broke away with a slightly startled gasp, but Gojyo just grinned and delved into his mouth again, trying to devour him whole. Sanzo let him.

The red-head ran his thumb over the nipple again and Sanzo moaned into his mouth, vaguely wondering how many women had moaned like the whores they were when Gojyo had done something like that. When Gojyo ran his hand down his side, though, he let out a hiss of pain and the other male drew back, a worried look back on his scarred face.

"You-You're still . . . bleeding," Gojyo said lamely, a bit of color forming on his cheeks. Sanzo glared at him incredulously and, mustering up his pride, turned away from him and picked up the bandages again.

"Get out of my room, erogappa."

This time the other did as he was told.

"Oh? What is it this time?"

Gojyo glanced over at Hakkai before plopping down onto a chair, letting a deep sigh escape him with the movement. The green-eyed man smiled and patted his shoulder as if for comfort or encouragement. Gojyo snickered at his predicament and leaned forward on the small table in Hakkai's room, wondering what exactly to say. He knew 

he should at least say something to his friend so that he wouldn't be assaulted by worried questions later. Finding his resolve at last, he mustered up his courage and began to talk.

"Well, I don't think he's quite as mad as he was before . . ." he began unsurely.

"That's a good thing, isn't it?" Hakkai asked.

"I guess. But, uh . . ." He let out another great sigh. "I just don't know, Hakkai. I can never tell with that prick. I mean, who the hell can even guess what goes on in that warped little head of his? He might be plotting my murder at this very moment. Watch, in the middle of the night he'll come sneaking in and BAM! That'll finally be the end of the wonderfully long-legged Sha Gojyo. Women the world over will weep for their loss."

"Somehow I feel as if you're not telling me everything."

Gojyo looked at the other man and let loose a laugh despite himself. "I can't win with you either, can I? Fine, fine. I, uh . . . well, I did that thing again, and he wasn't quite as mad as last time. But then he runs off only to come back covered with fucking claw-marks everywhere—"

"Ah, yes, seems as if our ill-tempered leader managed to get himself in a brawl with some youkai assassins," Hakkai supplied unnecessarily. "I managed to get a quick look at the wounds before he ran off, but they didn't look too bad. You shouldn't worry about them too much. Although I do wish he would have let me heal a few . . ."

Gojyo groaned and tilted his head to rest on his open palms. "He's driving me bat-shit crazy!" he nearly wailed. "Do you have any idea what it was like waiting for him to come back only to see him all bloody like that?"

"I have some idea, yes," Hakkai said softly. Gojyo suppressed a flinch.

"Right, yeah . . . But I mean . . . I've seen that monk through so much worse, you know? Of course I've been worried every time, but this was so unexpected, and something in me just almost—I dunno—cracked. I nearly started ranting at him again, but I knew he would probably try beating the snot out of me if I tried to, so I . . ." He felt a slight blush on his cheeks. "Well, I did a certain thing again. Until he realized he had to stop the bleeding and all that."

"I see."

Gojyo leaned back in the chair and fixed his eyes on the ceiling. "This whole thing is fucking ridiculous. I don't understand any of it. It was fine when I could just jump from woman to woman; I wouldn't have to see their faces again. I didn't have to feel anything for them." He lowered his gaze to the wall in front of him. "But this is just too different, too twisted. And when I try to do anything about it, I'm constantly shoved away." He smirked. "Well, isn't it just the story of my life."

Hakkai was the one to sigh this time. "Don't go beating yourself up, Gojyo. I admit that it is very unfortunate for the object of your affections to be Sanzo, because the difficulty that comes with it could only be through the roof." He smiled. "But it's not impossible, is it? Like you said, he seems less angry than before. At least he's talking to you . . . and doing 'things' with you." He chuckled when Gojyo groaned in embarrassment. "I'd say just try your best to get through to him. Even our Sanzo isn't without emotion or desire. I think there's real progress showing."

"What are you, my therapist? Jeez!" Gojyo was frowning, but inside he really did feel grateful to have someone like Hakkai in his life. He had always needed someone to talk him through things, to show him the more logical approach to a problem. The other man seemed to pick up this feeling and his smile grew a little.

"Perhaps I am. But after all, I wouldn't like to see Sanzo any more troubled than he already is. Same goes for you. Our little 'family' doesn't need more drama than it already has."

"Pfft, what, we're a freakin' family now? What are you, the weird uncle?" He grinned at Hakkai and suddenly felt a lot better about . . . well, everything. The fact that Sanzo had kissed him not once, but twice made his heart soar, and the thought of what could have happened had the monk not had injuries to care of made him wonder if there really was a chance between them. Thinking back on the first time they had met, and the golden glow that seemed to surround Sanzo as he chanted the sutra for Hakkai's loss, made his grin even wider. He did know that there was sympathy and caring deep down in the monk's heart . . . Deep, deep down, somewhere . . . But he was all up for getting those emotions to the surface. He would show Sanzo just how much he meant to him, just as he promised. What it meant to be drawn in by that warm, golden light.

Even if that meant dodging a few bullets in the process.

A/N: Look Gojyo, you're making progress! Perhaps it's not such a hopeless thing after all ;) But we'll just have to see what happens, now won't we?

By the way, as far as their "family" status goes, I totally see Sanzo being the mother sometimes XD Is that just me? (Hakkai could also be the mother I suppose, but Sanzo is just more . . . hilarious in that role)