A/N: Okaaaaay sooooo yeah it's been a while since I updated. XD Sorry about that. I know, I know, I have all the chapters and everything, but I still like to self beta them before I put 'em up and I've been rather distracted lately. But enough of that--on with the chapter! (actually I'm rather proud of this one...)

Disclaimer: Don't own Saiyuki or the characters.

Warning: Yaoi! (but no lemon...yet)

Chapter Six

"Are you feeling better, Sanzo?"

"Nn."

"Are you sure you don't want me to take care of just a few of those? I'm sure they must be hurting."

"I said I was fine."

"But you could risk infection. And I don't want you to be complaining about them later and getting grouchy just because—"

"For the love of—! If I say yes, will you leave me the fuck alone?"

"Yes, I would."

"Then fine."

Gojyo watched the little war between Hakkai and Sanzo with a wide smile, enjoying the show and the fact that he wasn't the one to be the victim of Sanzo's moodiness for once. Sanzo was acting like his normal self, which was still irritable, but it was considerably less so than the past week since Gojyo thought he had messed up big time with the monk. He thought less that it had been some drunken mistake and now thought that it was only the first small crack that appeared before the dam eventually broke.

Hakkai's hands became enveloped in that familiar greenish gold glow as he treated Sanzo's multiple grazes, the blond merely sitting there with a look on his face that Gojyo could only describe as "pouting." Well, this was best for him, after all. He simply couldn't help but laugh quietly at the sight. That immediately got Sanzo's attention zeroed in on him, the same violet irises always making his breath stop.

"And what is so damn funny, cockroach?" Gojyo was happy that they had gone back to treating each other as they normally would have, but he knew that he wanted more, and he would get more, with time and careful planning. Sanzo acted as if their heated little sessions had never taken place, but the red-head noted that Sanzo would look at him a little longer than was necessary, would turn a little pink if he saw that Gojyo noticed. It made his heart speed up and his smile broaden.

"Nothing, Your Highness. I'm simply an observer."

Goku was also watching with a smile. Because his Sanzo was finally acting as if nothing was wrong, the monkey brain must have come to the conclusion that nothing was wrong, or different. He thanked his lucky stars that Goku was oblivious to some things.

"Well, I took care of the worst of them," Hakkai stated as he stepped back. "That youkai must have been rather persistent, ne?"

Sanzo grunted and got up from his chair, taking one last sip of his green tea before putting the cup on the table that was laden with the sorry remainders of their breakfast. This was everyone's cue to get up and get going, no words needed to convey that they were to be off within the next five minutes, ever on the path west to some unknown fate.

This was how it was for the next few days: normal. Gojyo actually enjoyed it. He stared at Sanzo's beautiful golden hair flying behind him while they rode in Jeep, occasionally catching his eyes in the rearview mirror and giving him a wink or a grin. Sanzo would frown at this and direct his gaze elsewhere, but Gojyo caught the monk blushing more than once, which he knew he would never get tired of.

His mind was finally on vacation from those ever-reeling feelings of doubt and stress, almost close to complete and utter peace with himself, at least for the time being. So maybe Sanzo didn't quite hate him after all. There had to be something there if the man had returned his kisses, had made those agreeing noises as Gojyo tried to show him just how much he . . .

How much he what? He couldn't say 'adored', because that would be adding too much to the monk's ego, and he couldn't say 'liked', because that just sounded corny and prepubescent. Well, even if Gojyo didn't have a name for these raging feelings yet, he could honestly say that he was making some sort of progress.

He hadn't tried anything since after Sanzo had come back in with all those scrapes, but he knew how to play this game, as he was a pro. When they fought youkai he would make sure to be closest to Sanzo, ever ready to show that he had his back no matter what while also demonstrating just how capable he was. When he passed by he made sure to brush against the blond in some form of contact that would make the monk wonder if it was on accident or not, although knowing Sanzo he would probably guess that it was the "stupid kappa" playing games with him. Even so, he didn't say anything about it, so Gojyo continued, all the more inspired. At meals if he was passing something to Sanzo he would be sure to have their fingertips touch, and one time Gojyo grinned himself silly when Sanzo nearly dropped the plate he was being handed, receiving a sly look from Hakkai and a reprimand from the saru about not wasting any of his precious food. Of course, that had been settled with a quick swipe of the harisen, connecting with not only Goku but Gojyo too, for reasons only he and Sanzo knew. Well . . . he supposed Hakkai knew now, too. But he would only watch with that smile, never saying anything about it. Strange uncle, indeed.

But even Gojyo had his limits. A week had flown by in this fashion when he felt the sharp pangs again, that irrational voice in his head telling him that he wanted more than brief contacts with Sanzo, more than those secretive little glances and furtive smiles. He knew he shouldn't move fast, so he managed to put a rein on his desires for the time being, ever alert to the moment when he could make another opening. And in the second week of this flirtatious period he was creating, he finally found it.

They were all out shopping for provisions, Sanzo having been dragged along just to shut Hakkai up about getting some fresh air after all the smoking he had been doing that day inside the inn's room. Gojyo really didn't see the point of it, but he supposed it might have been a simple excuse to have them all together for some "family" time. He still couldn't get that word out of his head and it made him smile crookedly whenever he thought of it. Honestly, didn't they all spend enough time together as it was? He couldn't complain, though, when Goku dragged Hakkai into a shop that held all sorts of food, since Sanzo usually gave Hakkai the gold card for this sort of thing. That meant that he was all alone with Sanzo out in the darkened street, lit only by the few streetlights that stood along it, hardly another person in sight.

Gojyo knew he had to seize the chance when he could, so he looked over to Sanzo and gave him a little smile that he knew must have shown some of his longing because the blond narrowed his eyes at him and barked out a "What?" that held a little more venom in it than usual.

Without further to do the red-head took hold of him and dragged him into the small alley between the shop and the building next to it, pushing Sanzo up against the wall and fastening his lips to the monk's blissful ones. His heart felt like it could have exploded right then, this feeling so encompassing that he thought he could die happily from it. Sanzo was stiff for a moment before he eventually softened under his touches, receiving the kiss with some feeling that seemed to say, "Well, if you must."

They stayed in their lip-lock for a few minutes, Gojyo running his hands across the parts of Sanzo he had longed to touch since he last had, carefully keeping away from groping anything too sensitive—he wanted to go slow, wanting to build up to something that he knew Sanzo would come to accept if he played this out just right. However, when he used a hand to grab the monk's rear to pull him closer, Sanzo made an indignant noise and pushed him back hard, wiping away the saliva on his lips and stalking out of the alleyway. Gojyo chuckled to himself and followed, feeling sated for the time being and already plotting his next advancement.

"You feelin' okay, Sanzo?" Goku asked when he and Hakkai emerged from the store. "Your face is all red."

"Peachy," Sanzo growled, carefully not looking at anyone. Gojyo hid his smile, not wanting to feel the wrath of the harisen once again.

Another opportunity appeared before him just a couple of days later, while they were getting situated in yet another inn. They had two rooms this time, which automatically meant that Goku would be rooming with Sanzo and he with Hakkai. It was how it usually was, so Gojyo logically didn't see a reason why the others thought it should change, although he did wish that Hakkai would switch it up for him; the man did know, after all. But he simply could not approach his friend and admit that he wanted a room with Sanzo—that was crossing some sort of line, in his mind. It would be mortifying.

Besides, Sanzo would probably vehemently stomp such an idea down to the ground and shoot it once or twice just to prove a point.

But that didn't mean that Gojyo could stop playing his little game. And he did love it so, especially when he ended up with all the spoils. His opportunity presented itself when he left his and Hakkai's room that evening to go out to buy some cigarettes. He was going to stop by Sanzo and Goku's room to ask the monk if he needed more smokes as well—just to prove that he could be nice too—but found the blond already in the hallway, apparently intending to go out as well, probably for the same reason.

"No sweat, Cherry-Chan, I'll pick you up a pack of that nasty brand you like so much," he offered, trying to get a rise out of the monk as usual. It only semi-worked; violet irises heated, but his face overall remained passive, even wary. Gojyo did love to see those eyes so intent and focused on no one but him. Despite how cold and distant Sanzo liked to pretend he was, his eyes nearly always gave him away.

"Do whatever you like," the other said to him before turning back to head to his room, which was Sanzo-talk for "Thanks, now go away."

"Reeaaally. Whatever I like, huh?" He was immediately in front of Sanzo, backing him up into the wall. This would never get old. "I think I'll do that," he whispered into Sanzo's ear, feeling him shudder against him. He brought his thigh up between the blonde's, applying enough pressure to be rewarded with a sharp gasp that instantly made him hard. He growled and started to suckle on Sanzo's neck, the latter panting at the sudden onslaught of sensations and throwing his head back to allow Gojyo more room to move his mouth around on the smooth, pale skin.

"You really are a tease," Gojyo murmured between his kisses to Sanzo's throat. "But you can't deny that you like it."

"Fucking . . . kappa," Sanzo breathed, attempting to climb down from his sudden high.

"That I am," Gojyo agreed before nibbling on the monk's jaw. Sanzo made a strange noise between dissatisfaction and encouragement, making the red-head laugh a little. That brought Sanzo even more to his senses and he beat hard on Gojyo's chest, growling to get off of him. Gojyo applied just a little more pressure with his thigh and Sanzo shuddered again, closing his eyes tight. And then he was off of him, heading down the hall while trying to overcome the rising problem in his jeans, listening to Sanzo's string of loud curses with a smirk.

"The next time you do something like that I'll blast it off," the monk threatened with a shaky voice. Gojyo simply a raised a hand without turning to look back, no matter how badly he wanted to see the expression on Sanzo's face. He knew that no matter how many threats he made, Sanzo really was enjoying everything that Gojyo was doing to him. Well, he probably didn't appreciate the cat-and-mouse game as much as the red-head did, but still . . . Sanzo was more than likely a virgin, unfamiliar with all of these feelings and therefore oversensitive.

But, he thought as he perused the shelves in the nearest shop for Sanzo's particular brand, he could only be letting me do some of this stuff because he likes how it feels. The likelihood of him actually feeling anything for me is pretty much zero.

He had never even thought about that until just then, and it completely shattered his good mood. That's right, he continued as he bought the cigarettes. He doesn't get close to people. Or at least, he tells himself that. If he doesn't even do it for the monkey, then I have no chance in hell. It's possible he only wants the physical aspect of it. He stopped in the middle of his walk back to the inn, sighing. Why didn't I realize that sooner? I'm a fucking idiot.

But if he somehow managed to get his feelings through to Sanzo, who knew what would happen? Well . . . he had already tried that once, hadn't he, and he still wasn't sure how that had turned out. He fished out a stick and lit up, leaning against some nearby building and remembering when he had been trying to explain to Sanzo that he wanted to change that whole issue about getting close to people. Their eyes had been locked, so many emotions running through Sanzo's, and then the other man had said that one word.

"Why?"

Why? Gojyo echoed in his head. Because I want to, damn it. Simple as that. Only he knew that it wasn't quite so simple. But that word that had somehow escaped from Sanzo had been spoken in such a raw emotion that it had shocked him a little. As if he was actually letting his guard down a bit. He knew that Sanzo was not indestructible, no matter how much he tried to act like he was, and that word alone proved it to him that there was something else inside that crabby monk of his other than bitterness and tentative insanity. It was as if one side of him told him to never like people again, cleverly disguising his affection with stupid reasoning or some shit like that, while the other struggled against it and kept getting beat down.

But I can change that, he thought forcefully. I can prove to him I want something that's not just physical. I can make him feel something. He took a last drag and flicked the butt into the street, regaining some his confidence. I can warm that ice queen up, no problem.

"Food poisoning?" Gojyo could hardly believe his ears. Hakkai nodded solemnly, looking over to the figure of Goku on the bed.

"I didn't think it could happen, to be honest," the green-eyed man said with some incredulity. "Fortunately he was the only one to eat whatever of our dinner did it, and none of us have it as well. I guess there's nothing for it but to stay here until it lets up. Knowing Goku, he should be on his feet again pretty soon, especially if I help—"

"I don't want you spending your energy left and right like that, Hakkai," he intervened with furrowed brows. "You need rest, too. The saru will be all right, like you said, so just give him some medicine and he'll be up in no time." He stole a look at Sanzo, who was by Goku's bed, speaking with him quietly. He smiled despite himself but then turned to Hakkai with wide eyes. "So . . . then you're gonna be rooming with him, then? And I . . ."

"Will be with Sanzo, yes," Hakkai said slowly, understanding the situation. "It'll only be for tonight, I promise. I'm sorry to put you in this position, but I'm afraid it cannot be avoided."

Gojyo continued to stare at Hakkai as if the world had gone mad. Okay, so he was actually kind of excited at this turn of events, but he was also fucking terrified. He had made a vow to himself to do whatever possible to warm Sanzo up to him, but all the same, it was still a very slim chance. He turned his eyes to Sanzo again, who was patting his charge on the head as he was prone to do sometimes—his own little show of affection that Gojyo secretly envied—before moving to where he and Hakkai stood.

"So you're rooming with the saru?" he asked Hakkai. The other man nodded with a small smile. "Fine." Then he turned one of his patented glares on Gojyo before walking out of the room, leaving Gojyo to groan as if all hope had completely vanished. Hakkai could only pat his shoulder encouragingly before turning to tend to Goku.

Stupid monkey getting sick like that, he thought as he slowly made his way to the room he would be sharing with the very object of his desires. A week ago he would have given anything to have this happen, but ever since his little realization about Sanzo only wanting something physical, some of his self-confidence had flown out the window, possibly to never return. He missed it more than ever when he opened the door to await his doom.

Sanzo had shed his robe and was only in his tight jeans and even tighter black top, which made most of the blood pounding in Gojyo's head travel to lower places. He was smoking by the window, looking out at nothing in particular and not even glancing at the red-head as he came in and shut the door.

Gojyo stood there and fidgeted for a moment, not sure what to say, but when it became apparent that the blond wasn't going to say anything either, he let out a breath and sat down on the bed he assumed to be his, feeling his heart keep up that fast pace. He took off his shoes, in need of something to do, and noticed fondly that Sanzo was barefoot as well. A few minutes of quiet stretched on and on for what felt like days before it was broken by the only other being in the room.

"So you're not going to try to do anything with me?" he asked in a completely neutral tone that Gojyo didn't know how to react to.

Putting on a false air of confidence, he said in his most seductive voice, "You really want me that badly, do you, blondie? Because that can be arranged." I'm an idiot. I'm just playing into his hands.

Sanzo moved to the ashtray on the side table between the two beds and fixed Gojyo with his usual cold stare. "What, you're not interested anymore? You've found another toy to play with?"

Gojyo's eyes widened in surprise. "Wh-What? How could you . . ." How could you even assume that? he wanted to ask, but he couldn't get all the words out. I only want you.

"Tch. I don't understand perverts." He made as if to walk away, but Gojyo grabbed his wrist, making their eyes meet again.

"Sanzo, I . . . No. I already told you what I'm feeling. I don't know why you keep playing ignorant on me about it."

Purple eyes narrowed. "Let go of me."

"No." Emboldened, Gojyo stood up, gaining the advantage of height, being a few inches taller than the monk. "I know you know what I was trying to say that day, and I know you have the ability to feel the same way, too. But your stupid whatever-the-hell-it-is that keeps you at a distance won't let you."

"How dare you fucking assume that—"

"Well, how about you assuming that I'd go running off to some slut when I've already told you how I feel! I haven't slept with anyone since this whole thing began, you know." He took a deep breath. "I don't want to go running off because the only one I want is you."

There. He had said it. And the result was priceless: Sanzo's eyes widened, his face slackened, and he began to turn a lovely shade of red. Gojyo stared at him for some time until he realized that Sanzo was trembling in his grasp. That same flicker of emotion entered his eyes: fear and confusion.

Gojyo put a hand to the side of Sanzo's face, running his thumb along his cheek in what he hoped was a comforting way. He tried to ignore Sanzo's slight flinch at the contact. "That's what I've been trying to tell you, you dumb monk," he admonished, but his voice was soft, using the name affectionately. "But you wouldn't listen. Do you know how badly I've fallen for you?"

Sanzo shook his head, trying to free himself from Gojyo. "I'm not going to fall for it, erogappa. It may work on your women, but—" He was silenced when Gojyo pressed lips to his, giving him a kiss unlike any of the other ones he had distributed to the monk. He tried to put every emotion he felt into it, tried to make it somehow connect with Sanzo in some way. The smaller male stood still, letting Gojyo put forth all of his desire in his kiss, accepting it silently. When he stepped back, Sanzo was not looking at him, his bangs hiding his eyes. Gojyo merely listened to him breathing, the shaky inhalations rattling the slight frame before him. He tried not to say anything, waiting for Sanzo to speak first, to give him some sort of answer. Eventually he did.

"You're an idiot," the monk said quietly. "I have nothing to waste on the likes of you."

Gojyo stared at him for a long time until the statement actually clicked in his head. Of course: he was right about everything, after all. No one could bother wasting their emotions on such a lowly half-breed.

Without quite knowing why, he brought both hands up to hold Sanzo's head between them, forcing his hard gaze up. They simply stared at one another until Gojyo let out a strained breath, trying not to think in that moment and just letting himself drift into a sea of the unknown.

"Okay. You can't feel anything for me, got it. But . . . I still want you to know what I tried to give you. Let me show you." He leaned forward and put another slow, sweet kiss on Sanzo's lips, already feeling lost. "Let me show you just once. Please."

A/N: Read and review...?