A/N: To everyone who's reviewed so far--thank you all for your lovely words of encouragement on Gojyo's behalf XD The Gojyo that dwells within my mind is very happy that you all support him in his endeavour. And I am very happy that you guys like it; the reviews definitely lift my spirits :D But anyway. On with the story!!

Disclaimer: Own Saiyuki I do not. Talk like Yoda I like to do.

Warning: YAOI YAOI YAOI!! Don't like it? Don't read it. Not that hard, people. For the rest of you: enjoy ;)

Chapter Seven

"Another night spent with your most obvious weakness,

You start shaking at the thought;

But you are everything I want,

'Cause you are everything I'm not."

- Make Damn Sure by Taking Back Sunday

He couldn't quite discern the look on Sanzo's face, but then, he supposed, he didn't really need to. He kissed the man again and uttered another "Please" against his mouth, feeling trapped for some reason, like he could not escape from this. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't turn around and walk out the door, couldn't fathom the idea of forgetting about all of this and finding some woman to bury his troubles into, the same unfeeling cycle repeating over and over until he lost the will to do even that.

Sanzo had closed his eyes. Gojyo figured that he was struggling with himself, fighting the internal war that the redhead could only guess at. All he could do was stand there and wait for something—anything—to signify his undoing.

Then he felt Sanzo's arms slowly, hesitatingly, moving up to lock around his neck, his head bowing into the slightest of nods. Gojyo felt his heart speed up and heard the blood pounding in his ears, knowing that this was what he wanted, but not under these conditions.

I suppose I just have to take what I can get, he thought as he placed his hands on Sanzo's hips, kissing him deeply and with as much passion as he could, wanting the monk to get the most out of this. Even if it is like this. Then I guess I can just leave him alone, since that's obviously what he wants.

Gojyo had no more room for thought when he rolled his hips into Sanzo's, the other male moaning at the contact. Carefully he slipped the black garment over Sanzo's head and let it fall to the floor, finally running his hands along the bare skin that felt like fire against his, kissing and licking at Sanzo's collarbone and travelling down to one nipple. He put it in his mouth and sucked, causing the monk in his arms to gasp and tangle a hand in his long, crimson hair. Gojyo decided that he really loved the feeling and drew the nipple in his mouth again to feel Sanzo's hand tighten its hold on his locks. With a small smile he kissed back up to his neck, biting at the junction of his neck and shoulder and running his tongue along the spot behind his ear. Sanzo was shaking against him, about ready to fall apart, so Gojyo figured that they should move to the bed before the monk managed to collapse to the floor.

Before doing that, however, some unwanted clothing needed to be discarded of. Sanzo's gloves were removed, Gojyo pausing now and then to kiss the inside of his elbows and wrists. He tugged his own jacket and shirt off, popping loose the button of his jeans. He grabbed Sanzo's hand and brought it between his legs, making the other's breath catch as well as his own. Gojyo maneuvered the fingers so that he held the zipper and made him pull it down, making Sanzo's breathing quicken despite himself.

"Very good," Gojyo murmured, shucking off his jeans without further to do and moving onto Sanzo's. The monk made a slightly panicked noise when he undid the button, his hands gripping Gojyo's arms in a tight hold. Gojyo kissed him on the mouth as gently as he could, trying to assure him without words that it was all right, that he could trust him. Sanzo let him unzip his fly and hook his fingers under the waistband, bringing them down little by little. Sanzo breathed hard and fast against his neck as Gojyo continued to undress him, continuing to give him little kisses against his neck and shoulder as he did. When they both stood there in nothing but very tan and very pale skin, Gojyo guided Sanzo to the nearest bed and gently pushed him down on top of it.

The sight he was greeted with very nearly stole all the breath from his lungs. Never in his life would he have imagined standing over a completely naked Sanzo, who looked up at him from the bed where he lay as if daring him to say something idiotic now. His cheeks were flushed and there was a strange fragility in the blond that Gojyo had never seen before. Slightly disheveled blond hair fell into his darkened violet eyes.

"Fuck, you really are beautiful," he managed to say when he was aware of himself again. He didn't think it possible for Sanzo to turn any redder, but he was proven wrong. He climbed on top of the smaller male and fused their mouths together again, letting his tongue slip past Sanzo's slightly parted lips and shivering at the sensation. This taste that was so uniquely Sanzo was something he could never get enough of, no matter how hard he tried. It would be like trying to kick a habit that he was simply too fixated on. Sanzo was worse than booze or smokes.

"Are you sure you know what you're doing?" the monk asked breathlessly when they parted for air. Although he was all uncertainty, he still managed to keep that haughty tone in his voice. Gojyo chuckled and kissed down his chest, down his stomach, and bit and licked at his hipbones. Sanzo was near to panting now, watching Gojyo with lidded eyes that still showed doubt. With a little smirk up at him, Gojyo bent down and ran his tongue along Sanzo's length, making the other man moan loudly and throw his head back, completely caught off guard. The redhead continued in this fashion, kissing and licking along Sanzo's growing erection, drawing out sounds from the blond that were helping him become hard as a fucking rock. One of the monk's hands found his hair again, and he himself moaned, pressing his tongue against the sensitive spot underneath the head of Sanzo's sex. Sanzo gasped and jerked his hips up.

Gojyo put only the head in his mouth and sucked, Sanzo practically mewling from it. Gojyo had to reach down and stroke his own erection before it became too unbearable. He loved everything that came from Sanzo's mouth, wanting to capture it again and claim him, so he abandoned Sanzo's cock to do just that. Sanzo kept his hand twined in Gojyo's hair as he kissed him, the other splayed on the redhead's broad back. Gojyo ran a hand along Sanzo's inner thigh, feeling the flesh quiver underneath him and wanting to explore every inch on that body while he still could. He used his lips to travel up and down Sanzo's wonderfully sculptured body, occasionally letting his fingers brush against the more sensitive areas he found. He even kissed down to the monk's toes, causing him to be the victim of another sharp glare, Sanzo clearly not understanding his fascination.

"What the . . . hell are you doing, kappa?" Sanzo demanded between breaths. Gojyo kissed his thigh one last time before returning to his mouth, playing a little there and then leaning back to give him a grin.

"Enjoying you while I can, Sanzo-sama," he said truthfully. His fingers stroked at Sanzo's length again, the man beneath him shifting around at the feeling, his eyes heavily lidded. Gojyo then brought his fingers up to Sanzo's mouth; the latter looked a little confused at first, but when the redhead pressed one digit against his bottom lip, he parted them and let the finger inside his mouth, enveloping it with a wet, warm heat that Gojyo groaned throatily at. Sanzo looked a little startled at the sound, but he didn't look displeased. Gojyo added another finger, the sight below him almost making him come right then and there. He mustered up all his willpower not to, though, telling himself that he was going to make this nothing short of amazing for Sanzo's first time—because he was pretty damn sure that this was the monk's first encounter with sex, worldly though he was.

When he removed his fingers from Sanzo's mouth a small trail of saliva ran down the side of his lips, which Gojyo licked away, feeling Sanzo shiver. He brought his now slippery fingers down to Sanzo's entrance, a little nervous at what the monk's reaction would be and not sure if he should even continue. But those violet eyes were staring so attentively at him, waiting, that he moved his mouth to Sanzo's ear and told him quietly that it might hurt a bit but that it would be worth it in the end. The blond swallowed but nodded nonetheless, prompting the redhead to get on with it.

Gojyo let one finger slip in, watching Sanzo's face twist up a little at the discomfort of it. He kissed and suckled at his neck to try and distract him from it, but when he added a second finger and began preparing him, Sanzo let a little grunt of pain escape him, his fingers digging into the flesh of Gojyo's back. Gojyo went slowly, even though his neglected member was nearly making him lose all rational thought, telling him to simply fuck Sanzo into the mattress. He grabbed one of Sanzo's hands and, like with the zipper, guided it to his erection, making him stroke his length with his gun-callused hand. Gojyo groaned at the feeling on Sanzo touching him, the other male breathless at everything being done to him.

When he thought that Sanzo was ready, he spit discreetly into his hand and rubbed it on his erection, knowing that it wasn't the best thing to do but not having anything else to use at the moment. Besides, he wouldn't dare leave Sanzo on the bed to get up for a second, afraid that the monk would have second thoughts and bolt before he could come back. Or worse, grab the gun.

He positioned himself, staring at Sanzo as if asking permission. The blond met his eyes for a moment and then croaked, "Just do it, baka."

Gojyo grinned at that and started to slide himself inside of Sanzo for the first time, the smaller male wincing at the movements. Gojyo kissed at his nipples, at his throat, along his jawline, trying to make it better for him. He whispered that it would only hurt for a little while, Sanzo merely grunting. When he was buried up to the hilt inside his small monk, Gojyo refrained from rocking back and pounding himself into Sanzo, though it took all his willpower not to. Sanzo's breathing was scattered, his eyes closed tightly, still in some pain. He was shaking, and some small, uneasy noises that probably had nothing to do with the new sensation escaped him, though he was more than likely unaware that he was making them. Gojyo leaned down and kissed both closed eyelids, bringing a hand up to slide against the side of his face and run through that beautiful golden hair; he never thought he would be able to do this. Sanzo relaxed at his touches, his fingers not digging so harshly into his back, his brow less furrowed than it was before. A sigh came from his parted lips and Gojyo took this as his cue.

Taking a deep breath, he slowly slid back out of Sanzo, gritting his teeth at the tightness that clamped down on him, Sanzo suppressing what sounded like a whimper. When he was mostly out, he slammed back in, making both he and Sanzo cry out. He did it again and groaned long and loud, thinking that this was the best sensation he could ever be subjected to on this earth. On his third time, Sanzo cried out again and arched his back, head thrown back in a perfect picture of erotic beauty. Gojyo knew that he had hit something and grabbed Sanzo's hips so that he could angle himself to hit it again, which he did with precision that made Sanzo moan and writhe beneath him. Gojyo had to shut his eyes after a few seconds of watching such a breathtaking sight because he knew he would surely let loose just seeing Sanzo in such rapture. Their voices mingled together with their rocking motions, Sanzo's arms wrapping around him and pushing his hips up to meet his thrusts with a wild abandon that Gojyo welcomed fervently. He reached between them and grabbed Sanzo's throbbing erection, pumping in time to their movements.

He opened his eyes again and took in Sanzo, gazing up at him with such a gorgeous look on his face that Gojyo could only describe as his most lustful dream. Violet eyes were turned nearly black from the deep arousal planted there and Gojyo could honestly say he had never seen anything so captivating. But the contact was broken when Sanzo moaned loudly and closed his eyes, his whole body trembling violently.

"Fuck!"

Gojyo knew that this was it. He thrust harder and squeezed Sanzo's cock, making the male beneath him nearly screamwith his release.

"Shit . . . Gojyo . . ."

Hearing his name being moaned by Sanzo triggered his own climax, and he clamped his mouth down on the blonde's, milking him dry as he kissed him. He came up for breath and muttered something, nearly collapsing on top of Sanzo but managing to slide his length out of him before falling to his side, wrapping his arms around the thin man to hold him close. Sanzo was too wrapped up in the afterglow that at first he didn't protest, which Gojyo took advantage of gratefully. He kissed the top of the monk's head before nuzzling his face into the wonderful, sweat-soaked hair, surrounded by Sanzo's scent. This was absolute bliss.

Until he was poked hard in the ribs by Sanzo's elbow.

"Ow, fuck—!"

"What the fuck do you think you're doing?" the blond asked him heatedly, still a little breathless.

Gojyo grinned and pulled the lithe body back to him, using the edge of the sheet to wipe away the remainders of their play. "It's part of the rules, Sanzo-sama. You agreed to it, remember?"

Sanzo grumbled something that he couldn't make out, but he really didn't care. He finally had the beautiful monk in his arms, had claimed him as his own, and knew that no one else could possibly say the same. Even if it was just this one time, it had been everything he had hoped it to be.

"What did you say?"

The redhead was jerked out of his thoughts. "Huh?"

Sanzo turned his face to him, amethyst eyes boring into his crimson. "You said something, when . . ." He blushed a little. "Afterwards. What was it?"

Gojyo frowned, trying to remember. He replayed the recent scene in his mind, knowing that he would be recalling that image many times in the future, and then froze when he realized what it was that Sanzo hadn't been able to make out. And he thanked the Gods that had been the case.

I love you.

His heart was suddenly pounding hard in his chest. Sanzo, able to tell that something had happened, frowned up at him. "What? What's wrong?"

Gojyo forced out a laugh. "Nothing, nothing. I just said, 'How was that for your first time?' So, how was it?"

Sanzo gave him a look as if he didn't quite believe it, but he snorted anyway. "Idiot. Who said it was my first time?"

"I'm a professional in these matters, and I can tell. You can't fool me, Cherry-Chan. Well . . . guess I can't call you that anymore, huh?" He pulled Sanzo against his chest and let his smile slip, knowing that he was in deep shit.

"Tch. Erogappa." Sanzo rested his head against Gojyo's neck, eyes fluttering. Gojyo kissed the top of his head again before Sanzo thankfully fell asleep, leaving him to worry about his newest predicament.

Shit. I didn't know my feelings went that far for him. Gojyo idly ran his fingers through the monk's hair, helplessness descending upon him. Sanzo gave an unconscious little hum of contentment at the contact. And he'll never feel the same. Good job on this one, Gojyo. Really spectacular. He looked down at the sleeping Sanzo, thinking it was the best image anyone could come up with. Not even the best painters or drawers could capture Sanzo's magnificence. Gojyo thought, with some sadness, that this was all that he was living for, now.

He couldn't sleep all night.