Disclaimer: Touhou belongs to Zun, and the only things that belong to myself would be Usagi the Mimic, and Moegi the Japanese Beetle. Everything else belongs to their rightful owner.

Y/N: Ufufu... My, I do wonder how the author will react to trading bodies~?

R/N: But master, who will write the chapter?

Y/N: Ohh, don't you know, Ran? These things write themselfs~!

C/N: ...Master smells funny...

R/N: Shh, don't point that out, Chen...

Y/N: ...I can still hear you, you know. I may be human in a sense, but I am not deaf, apparently. Nice legs, too~

R/N: That's about all that one could reffer to as nice, however.

C/N: ...Really funny...

A/N: ...Also, just because Dai has vanished doesn't mean I've forgotten about her. ...I mean, yes, that was the original cause for all of three chapters, but I do intend to have her return.

Night, Gate to the Scarlet Devil Mansion, Remilia's PoV:

"Ahh, what a lovely night it is..." I leisurly strolled along, heading towards the gate. Upon ariving, Meiling flicked open the gate, as she knew I was coming; she always knows I am coming.

"Good evening, Mistress Remilia. Going out for... a..." As Meiling asked the usual question, the girl in the mustard blouse appeared before her.

With a grin, the girl triumphantly exclaimed, "So you're name's Remilia~!"

I flinched in realisation of the faux pas I had commited. How could I have forgotten such a thing...? "Ohh, dear. I seem to have forgotten my manners; I am Remilia Scarlet, mistress of the Scarlet Devil Mansion, and I would be a vampire. And you are?" I stopped beside the strange youkai, who had a pair of fishing rods over one shoulder, and a tackle-box in her free hand.

Grinning, the youkai who kept hiding from sight answered, "Komeiji Koishi, but you can call me Koishi! I'm a satori, but my eye's closed!" She gave me a toothy grin at the last part, as if that meant something. Well, I suppose I will ask about that, as I'm sure she already knows what being a vampire entails.

I began to walk on once more, quickly being followed by the trotting satori. "...So, what would a satori be? I have never heard of such a creature, in all honesty."

"Eheh, well, we have three eyes!" The proud grin on her face gave the impression that she felt that was enough to answer the question.

"...And that is all?" As we walked off, Meiling gave our backs the most incredulous of looks. She felt very out of the loop at this point, and for good reason; what was once an intruder had actually managed to meet with me, and apparently befriended me. The million dollar question would be how she managed to reach me in such a short time, while being undetected.

The satori pouted at that. "No, we can also read minds, if our third eye is opened wide!" Upon hearing that, I looked at her forehead.

Not needing to read my mind to know what I was thinking, Koishi added, "It's also my heart!" She patted the big beating orb, which I then realised had the slit of an eyelid on the front.

I blinked at the size of the thing. "...That's an eye? It's huge!"

Koishi gave me a smirk. "Well, my heart's in there, and I have a big heart!" Letting out a giggle, she added, "Kidding~!"

I couldn't help but chuckle at that, before stroking my chin in thought. "But why would it be on the outside of you body...?"

"Ohh, it didn't used to be! Back when I was human, it was on the inside~" The satori gave me a toothy grin at this revelation.

...I musn't ask the obvious question... "And how did it get to be on the outside?" Damn it all!

"It popped out!" While saying as such, she made a shooting motion from the center of her chest with her hands.

"...And why would it do that?" During our little conversation, we had reached the shores of the lake, thus distracting the satori.

"Ahah! The lake's so big! Is that a little house? It's so rickety looking that it's cute~" The satori ran off to look at the home of the idiotic ice fairy, having forgotten about the entire reason we had come here, and had even met me at all!

"W-wait!" I began to run after her. "What about fishing!"

Night, Moriya Shrine, Kogasa's PoV:

I began to mutter to myself, "Don't look... Don't look... Don't look...!" But, in the end, I couldn't help but look.

I had just about been forced to join Sanae for a bath, and she was quite... insistent.

In all honestly, it felt like an offer I couldn't refuse under penalty of death. Considering that it was Sanae that was the one giving said vibe, I wasn't about to tempt fate by refusing.

I like my heart in my chest, and not on a dinner plate, thank you very much.

"Kogasa, are you okay? Sanae is reminded of someone with an internal monologue, by the way you are looking at her!" Following my eyes, Sanae began to blush. "A-and stop staring at Sanae's breasts so intensly... Sanae feels uncomfortable when you do that..."

Upon realizing that my eyes were staring directly at Sanae's pair of miracle fruits, I averted my gaze with a redened face. Had I been in the water, I would have sunk in and begun to blow bubbles. However, I was too busy washing my body, making sure to get every inch clean. First the shaft, then the foot, and finally the canopy. It's not common that I have access to water, let alone hot water. Not to mention soap... Anyways, with all of these things being allowed for use, I was making sure to give my umbrella a thorough cleaning, untill it just about shined.

"...Kogasa, aren't you going to clean your body, too...?" Sanae began to tilt her head at how I hadn't even made an atempt to clean myself.

However, I simply didn't understand what she meant by that. "Ehh? Aren't I?"

At this the shrine maiden gave me a revulted look, before calming down, so as to execute a plan she had come . "...Kogasa, what is it that you clean every bath? Sanae is forgetful sometimes, so remind her..."

Not seeing the alterior motive in Sanae's question, I simply answered it without thinking anything of it. "Well, you need to be sure to thoroughly scrub your shaft, but be a bit gentler with the foot, and be sure to get all of the intricacies of the canopy!"

Sanae's expression darkened at hearing that, and I flinched upon her beginning to make her way over to me. "S-Sanae?"

Silently she made her way towards me, and I backed away from her, quickly being backed into a corner of the bathroom. "W-w-what are you doing, Sanae?"

What happened after that was what one would expect, but with a great deal of force involved. I may be weak, but I'm still a youkai...