He had gone in and out of sleep for a while.
It was now 1:47am. His phone had been ringing non-stop for hours, waking him up every time, but he just couldn't bring himself to pick up. What would he say when Naruto asked what the hell had happened? That he couldn't stand watching him and Sakura kiss for a few seconds? That would be ridiculous. The whole situation was ridiculous. He knew himself well and he had realized that his behavior around Naruto was very out of character. He had never been acting this way before, and it kind of scared him. He didn't want to be like that. He wanted to keep his cool, just like when he had gone out with Ino that one time. She sure as hell had wanted to jump him, why didn't Naruto? Why did he only have eyes for that stupid Sakura? Sasuke had never felt so hopeless in his entire life, not even once. He was always the one in charge, the one who had control over the situation, and now suddenly, all he could do was to sit down and try to keep up on the ride.
He was alone, since Itachi had decided to have a night out, which left Sasuke very grateful. He was lying on his bed, almost falling asleep out of pure exhaustion when his phone started to vibrate again. He wanted to pick up just to hear Naruto's voice, but he really had no idea what to say to him. He wasn't even sure if he would be able to say anything at all. What if he just went blank? Would Naruto hang up and leave him feeling even more hopeless?
The phone kept vibrating. Second after second passed.
Sasuke practically threw himself around, grabbed the phone and answered. He heard that Naruto was out of breath.
"Sasuke? Sasuke, are you there?"
He swallowed hard. Please, voice, don't crack.
"Yes."
"Thank god, you're okay."
Naruto let out a deep sigh, as if he had been holding his breath for some time. The blonde fumbled with the phone for a second before taking another deep breath.
"Cause, you're okay, right?"
Sasuke didn't say anything. If he said 'yes', he would be a filthy liar. If he said 'no', he would have to explain himself. He closed his eyes and bit his tongue.
"Sasuke? Talk to me."
The pleading voice in the phone made his heart wrench and twist around itself. He refused to allow his eyes to water, but that sweet, sweet voice sure made him want to cry his eyes out. It made him want to spill it all out; it made him want to tell Naruto about everything that had been going on in his mind.
"I'll be here all night if I need to. Please, talk to me."
Naruto, don't. You'll make me say it.
The seconds passed and Sasuke just closed his eyes and listened to the sound of Naruto breathing. He managed to swallow away that thickness in his throat and actually found some kind of comfort in the fact that he was, in a way, holding the blonde in his hand.
"Please just tell me what's going on. I was worried sick. I still am."
Sasuke opened his mouth, but no words came out. He didn't know what to say. Correction; he knew exactly what to say, but he couldn't. It would ruin everything, and he couldn't lose Naruto. Now that he had him in his life, he never wanted to let go. He guessed that it seemed kind of ironic, since that's probably exactly what Naruto had thought when he met Sakura.
Again, the feeling of someone stabbing him with a knife. He couldn't even think her name.
"Just tell me if you're okay or not."
Sasuke couldn't handle the pleading voice.
"No."
His voice came out as a mere whisper, if even that, and he had to clear his throat before repeating himself.
"No, I'm not okay."
Still a whisper, but Naruto heard him this time.
"Alright, I'll come over. Or we can go out somewhere. We can go to McDonalds. We can take a walk. We can kick cans or get on a random bus or rob a bank. What would make you feel better?"
Sasuke groaned silently, unable to even smile at the suggestion of robbing a bank.
"You can't ask me that, Naruto."
"Why?"
Because, stupid, the only thing that can make me feel better right now is if you dump your girlfriend, meet up with me somewhere and kiss me the first thing you do.
That's when it hit him; he was Naruto, and Naruto was Sakura. It was the same thing. He didn't care that he was Naruto's second choice – if even a choice at all. He finally understood the feeling of wanting someone so badly that you stop caring about how you're making yourself look. If he just got to be with Naruto, nothing else would matter. Ever.
"Hey. Anything."
Sasuke took a deep breath.
"You can't ask me that because what I need to make me feel better is pretty much impossible."
"Hah! Try me!"
Sasuke shook his head with a painful smile on his lips.
"It's not gonna happen. It's impossible."
He heard Naruto shift. It wouldn't surprise him if the blonde was staring into a wall, pretending it's Sasuke, trying to talk him into revealing this impossible event.
"If I can make it happen, I'll make it happen. Promise."
Something changed inside Sasuke. He knew that what he was about to say very well could mess up their whole friendship, but then again, would he ever see Naruto again after the wedding? Probably not. He wasn't even sure that he would go to the wedding, since he would be witnessing a marriage between Naruto and Sakura. Heck, he couldn't even watch them kiss.
"You promise?"
"I promise. Spit it out."
Sasuke took a deep breath. He would probably regret this bitterly, but his sleepy mind just told him to go for it.
His voice came out as a whisper.
"Kiss me."
The seconds passed. Sasuke could hear Naruto holding his breath, or possibly just not being able to breathe even if he wanted to, and he was about to say something like 'kidding, stupid' when Naruto spoke up.
"Okay. The central station, same spot in fifteen minutes?"
Sasuke couldn't think, but apparently, he could speak.
"Make it twenty."
They hung up.
He wasn't sure that he had taken one real breath for the whole ride; it felt as if he had been surviving on as little air as possible for twenty minutes. The huge building of the central station was right in front of him; all he had to do was to enter it and walk over to that huge clock. There were still people walking around, but they all looked very tired or were in a hurry to catch a train. No one would notice them. It would just be him and Naruto.
He entered through one of the doors and made his way past some stores before reaching the big hall, and when he stepped out in the light of the lamps, he saw Naruto standing there. He was facing the other way, probably expecting Sasuke to come up the stairs from the subway and not from the main doors. Sasuke was kind of thankful for that, since he probably looked pretty damn nervous and he still wanted to keep his cool.
When he was only a few meters away, Naruto noticed him in the corner of his eye. They soon stood face to face, three decimeters apart. They both had their hands in their pockets, and the strong light made the whole situation seem very naked and vulnerable. Sasuke suddenly felt a bit odd, and shifted his weight from one leg to another.
They stood like that for a few seconds before Sasuke felt the need to say something.
"Listen, Naruto, you don't have to do thi-"
"I promised."
Sasuke couldn't really believe that he was suggesting that Naruto would get away from a kiss, while the blonde insisted. But he felt kind of guilty. What if Naruto really didn't want to? What if he was disgusted and would hate himself for doing it? Sasuke knew how he had felt after a kiss with a girl; it wasn't pleasant.
"I'll forgive you for breaking that promise."
Up until then, Naruto had seemed rather serious. That's when he pulled off one of his grins.
"Hey, no biggie. It's just a kiss, right?"
Sasuke had to turn his face to the ground. He slowly nodded and bit his lower lip. He was relieved that Naruto didn't seem to have something against it, but he was also a bit depressed that it clearly didn't mean anything.
Naruto lightly punched his upper arm and tuned that grin down to a smile.
"I don't know what this is about, but I want to help you. Okay?"
You're too nice for your own good, Naruto.
Sasuke took a deep breath and looked up at the blonde again, trying to prepare for what was going to happen within the next few minutes.
Naruto took a tiny step towards the raven. They were still standing about two decimeters apart, but the tension between them was killing Sasuke. He knew that Naruto probably couldn't feel it, but he sure as hell did. The butterflies in his stomach seemed to be trying to make their way out and his mind went blank. He couldn't think at all; just feel. He felt as if he was leaning closer and closer to the blonde, when, in fact, he was standing perfectly still.
A train was passing by two floors beneath them, some family was rushing to find the right way through the station and the clock was ticking loudly. Sasuke didn't hear any of this; he had completely tuned out the surroundings.
Naruto leaned closer, still with his hands in his pockets, and Sasuke slightly tilted his head upwards. The blonde's perfect blue eyes were half way closed, and he was looking at Sasuke's lips with his own mouth slightly open. Only that made small bolts of lightning rush through the raven's body, and he somehow managed to think that it would be interesting to see what would happen when they actually kissed.
A little bit closer. Just a little bit closer.
He could feel Naruto's warm breath on his mouth now. Sasuke unconsciously pulled his hands out of his pockets and left them kind of hanging by his sides, and closed his eyes when their lips were mere millimeters apart.
Naruto took another tiny step towards Sasuke and closed the remaining distance between them. Sasuke felt as if he had been struck by lightning. Those soft, soft lips against his own caused some kind of electricity to run through his entire being, and he couldn't control his hands that put themselves on Naruto's shoulders. If Sasuke had opened his eyes, he would have seen that Naruto had furrowed his eyebrows and was clenching his fists in his pockets. Naruto pressed his lips towards Sasuke's a little bit harder before slightly pulling away, creating a distance between them once again. Sasuke had to gasp for air, eyes still closed and hands that were now holding and clenching a grip on Naruto's t-shirt when Naruto leaned in once again. Sasuke felt as if his entire body was shaking, and he was holding on to Naruto for his dear life. He wouldn't even deny the fire burning in his crotch.
Naruto slightly tilted his head a bit more to the side, and all Sasuke could do was to open his mouth just a little bit. Usually, he would have thought that he was taking a risk, but screw that. He felt Naruto wince a bit, but got that backfired on himself when he felt the tip of the blonde's tongue on his lower lip. Sasuke made some kind of sound that he couldn't control and met Naruto's tongue with his own, causing the other boy to lean in even further. Their tongues battled for a few seconds before Naruto suddenly grabbed his bottom lip between his teeth, and Sasuke didn't even try to stop a moan from escaping.
"Ah, Naruto…"
It was like pushing a red button. Naruto immediately made a grunting sound, pulled his hands out of his pockets and put his arms around Sasuke. This, in turn, made the raven's pants a bit too tight, and he had to put both his arms around Naruto's neck just to keep himself from falling because of his weak knees. Naruto held one hand between Sasuke's shoulder blades and the other one on his lower back, but Sasuke could feel it making its way even lower. Naruto caught his lips in another kiss, sending waves of pleasure through Sasuke's body when he felt Naruto's teeth against his lip.
Seconds later, Naruto had his hand right above Sasuke's ass, and the raven just about resisted the urge to say 'grab me'. Naruto didn't grab him. Better.
Naruto pushed the raven's hips towards him using his hand, and Sasuke felt himself getting harder and harder. He was moments away from feeling ashamed when he felt something hard in Naruto's pants as well, and he had to take a moment to just make sure that he wasn't imagining things. He got his suspicions confirmed when Naruto slightly rocked his hips back and forth to the sides, rubbing himself against the front of Sasuke's now oddly formed jeans. The action cause Sasuke to snap his head backwards, mouth open, and he moaned shamelessly when Naruto rested his forehead on Sasuke's shoulder and lightly kissed his neck.
"Next train to Gothenburg departing in seven minutes."
The voice echoing from the speakers made them both open their eyes, and Naruto immediately let go of Sasuke. The raven had a harder time taking in the situation. The blonde then grabbed his arms and pulled them off of himself, then took three steps backwards, breathing heavily. Sasuke, too, was breathing loudly, and had a painful boner throbbing inside his pants. He wasn't too sure about Naruto, though. He looked really freaked out, and Sasuke slowly realized that he knew that look.
He knew that look because he had been looking the exact same just a few years earlier. He had been feeling weird, new stuff that he couldn't explain, and he had been freaked out at first. He had accepted it rather quickly, but that didn't mean that it was the same for everyone.
Sasuke licked his lips and straightened up his shirt.
"Naruto, listen."
The blonde was staring at him, still looking extremely scared and confused. Sasuke swallowed hard.
"I know what you're feeling right now and I know that it isn't fun. But you have to know that it's okay."
They stood silent for a couple of seconds before Sasuke had to break the eye contact since he felt a blush making its way up his neck.
"And I'm very sorry for pushing you into this."
That was a lie, but he still felt the need to say it.
He was about to say something else when Naruto interrupted him.
"I gotta go. I feel weird. I'll call you tomorrow, Sasuke."
And just like that, Naruto turned around and rushed out of the building, leaving Sasuke with a lot of unanswered questions and with too tight pants.