Author's note: oh my god I am so sorry for the late update! I wish I could blame it on something other than school, but I can't. As some of you know, I've been out of school for the last nine months, and now I'm back to graduate - and it's a fucking hell. Well, not school, but the fact that all I can do when I get home is to go to sleep, and I just haven't found the time to write. T_T Other than that; we're getting close to the end, guys. AND other than THAT; I'm making a short Q&A after I've posted the last chapter of this story. I've been getting a whole bunch of questions here on FF, so I just thought that I'd make a video where I answer them and such. So, if you have any questions; just tell me here in a review or send me a message.
Sasuke's head was buzzing and his cheeks were wet from the tears. He was sitting on the sidewalk at the same street he had been holding Naruto on just a few days earlier. It all felt so very ironic and stupid, but that didn't change the fact that Sasuke wouldn't be able to live without the blonde. He knew very well that it wasn't making any sense and that they hadn't known each other for that long, but he couldn't care less. He wouldn't be able to let him go back to Sweden. There was no way that that he would be able to go through all that, and still he knew that Naruto had to leave. There was nothing for him in New York, and there was a pink haired girl waiting for him in Sweden. Of course Naruto would go.
That thought brought new tears to Sasuke's eyes and he buried his face in the palms of his hands. He had to get himself under control since his behavior was both embarrassing and very inappropriate, but it was hard when it felt as if his heart was slowly being ripped apart.
A warm hand on his shoulder made him wince and shake off the touch. He wasn't sure what the hell he was doing; he wanted to hug Naruto and never let go, and at the same time, he wanted to tell the blonde to just go away. It'd be easier that way.
"Don't, Naruto."
It would hurt way too much to turn around and look at the taller boy, so the raven kept still with his face hidden. Until the person behind him spoke up.
"I'm sorry Sasuke, but it's Ino."
He winced again at the familiar voice. Once again, his feelings mixed into something confusing; he was relieved to have the blonde girl by his side, and he was furious that Naruto hadn't chased after him. Sasuke had done that when Naruto was the one who had been upset, and it hurt to know that the favor wasn't returned.
"Uhm, hi, Ino."
Sasuke took a deep, shaky breath as he tried to dry his tears away from his cheeks. The buzzing in his head had stopped as soon as he heard Ino's voice, as if she had helped him out of a bad anxiety attack or something. Now that he thought about it, that had probably been the case. Sasuke had only had a few anxiety attacks before; when he had shouted at Itachi and told him that he hated him – which made him feel worse about himself than ever before, when he and Kiba broke up and back at the hotel room in Sweden when he was sure that he'd never see Naruto again. And now this.
"Sasuke, what happened?"
He could feel her sitting down right next to him and putting an arm around his back. He opened his mouth in a try to say something, but all that came out was more tears. They just wouldn't stop coming!
"You said something about… Naruto? Isn't that the guy from Sweden?"
As soon as she said the blonde's name, something snapped inside of Sasuke and he buried his face in Ino's shoulder. She seemed a bit startled at first, but soon came to her senses and wrapped her arms around the raven. She gently hushed him as he just let his feelings take over him for a few minutes, and soon enough, all that was left was dry sobs. They sat like that for a little while longer before Ino cleared her throat.
"You don't have to, but I'm right here if you want to talk about it. Okay?"
Sasuke took a deep breath, without shaking this time, and slowly sat up straight. He somehow felt empty – in a good way. As if he had let a volcano have its eruption and now got to experience the calm after the storm.
Until he heard a certain someone clear his throat, that is. He saw a blonde mess, even called hair, in the corner of his eye and could just barely spot a pair of wet, blue eyes.
Sasuke pretty much shot up standing, his face turned downwards and his fists clenched. He couldn't see Ino's expression, but he imagined that she had to be looking pretty damn confused. And Sasuke? Well, he was feeling more pissed than ever before.
How did Naruto even have the guts to just calmly come walking after him like that? What if he had gotten run over by a car, or ran away? Sasuke never would have let the blonde go in a situation like that, just because he was so very scared of losing him. That didn't seem to be the case this time, though, and that made Sasuke feel stupid and angry. He had really thought that Naruto would come after him immediately, and it was absolutely heart wrenching that he had been so wrong. The blonde was probably standing there just because he felt guilty, and nothing more.
"Sasuke, can we-"
"No, go away."
His voice cracked and it hurt to even say those words; he wanted to just face Naruto and hope that everything would get better, but he felt too hurt to swallow his pride. The buzzing in his head came back just as fast as it had disappeared, and his cheeks were probably bright red under those long, dark bangs. He felt so incredibly embarrassed and he wanted to just run away. So he did.
He just walked really fast at first, but when both the blondes called out his name, he started running. He could hear someone starting to run after him, but then heard Ino say Naruto's name. That's all he could hear as he was sprinting and taking a right turn just to get away from it all. People were staring at him and someone yelled something about that he should watch it, but none of that mattered.
A package of cigarettes and two hours later, Sasuke was standing outside their door back home. He had been standing there for a couple of minutes, not sure about what he wanted to do. If Naruto was home, it would feel incredibly hard to just keep on going as if nothing had happened, even when the panic and anxiety had settled down. The raven had behaved very poorly, if he could say so himself, and he wished that he had handled it better. It wasn't the blonde's fault that the situation looked like it did. Sasuke knew that, and didn't allow himself to think that he, too, had the right to feel.
The raven took a deep breath, put his hand on the door handle and quietly opened the door. It was rather dark inside and no one was making noises in the kitchen as they usually did. Sasuke's heart sank to his stomach when he realized that Naruto might not be home. In fact, he could be on a plane to Sweden by now, for all the raven knew.
He swallowed hard when the thought brought back that sour, pinching feeling in his throat, and closed the door behind him as he entered the apartment. He decided that he could stop assuming things until he had made sure that no one was home, and therefore save the panic for later. He wasn't really in the mood for more angst after two hours of smoking cigarettes and walking aimlessly around New York.
Sasuke stepped out of his shoes and put his arms around himself, rubbing his upper arms in a try to get his body temperature to rise. He quietly walked into the kitchen, the living room and the study downstairs without finding anyone. He started to lose hope when he went upstairs, but just as he opened the door to his room, he got the feeling that something was different. Indeed; when he looked up, Naruto was sitting on his bed with two cups of hot chocolate, a huge blanket and a few candles lit up over at the desk. It all looked very fairy tale like, and for just a moment, Sasuke allowed himself to feel safe and home. But he soon came back to reality, and tried his best to brace himself for what was coming. He knew that they had to talk, he couldn't run away forever.
So, he simply walked over to the bed and carefully sat down next to the blonde, who was acting a bit nervous. Sasuke grabbed one of the two cups of chocolate and took a sip, allowing the room to fill with silence. It wasn't any awkward silences with Naruto, but what they were experiencing right there might have been the closest they've come to that awkwardness. Sasuke felt sore and sensitive, and Naruto just seemed really jumpy and kinda of hesitant. The raven realized that he had to be the one to break the silence.
"Sorry about that. I freaked out."
He silently cleared his throat and stared at his hot chocolate. As usual, it was hard to admit that he had actually been feeling something that he couldn't control, but it still felt very important to say it. He knew when he had done something inappropriate and should apologize.
"So, what did you wanna talk about?"
Naruto had probably been waiting for that question for several hours, since he didn't waste any time.
"I've been thinking and I know that I must seem like an asshole since I'm acting so weird, but it's just that I've never been with anyone other than… her. And I've never been with another guy before. And she's been the one to take care of me when I get in trouble and stuff like that, and now, I don't have that anymore, and I feel so insecure about this whole… thing."
The blonde had started gesticulating and was talking fast, so Sasuke had to listen closely to even keep up with it. But he understood. It was much easier to see the situation from another angle when he got to hear Naruto tell him about it, and to be honest; it didn't sound as if the blonde was planning on going back to Sweden.
"But I want to be with you, Sasuke."
That definitely made his heart jump a mile high and skip a couple of beats at the same time. Was Naruto, for once, thinking clearly? Did he really know what he wanted?
"I want to be with you and I'm terrified."
In some weird way, that made Sasuke feel very warm and it wasn't just because of the hot chocolate.
"It's okay to be terrified."
Naruto nodded slowly, and – finally – let a small smile appear on his lips, as if someone had just told him that it's okay to take another cookie from the plate. It was nice to see that, since it felt like forever since they had sat down like that and talked.
And, since they still were feeling rather nervous, they sat there for a while, sipping on their chocolate and just listening to the silence until Naruto broke the silence.
"Can I kiss you, Sasuke?"
Once again, Sasuke was grateful that he was good at hiding his emotions, since he was close to choking on his drink when the butterflies woke up. He managed to make the cough sound like he was clearing his throat.
"You don't have to ask for that, ever."
They looked at each other for a few seconds. Naruto then leaned in and created that electric field between them, but instead of going straight for a kiss, he leaned his forehead towards Sasuke's and closed his eyes with a happy sigh. That just brought even more butterflies to life inside of Sasuke; up until then, they had just been dancing around each other without knowing what would come out of it. But then - for the very first time - it felt as if there would be more than just passionate kisses and burning touches. It felt as if there would be so incredibly much more, and Sasuke got that confirmed when Naruto suddenly opened his eyes with a nervous look on his face.
"What?"
Naruto opened his mouth a couple of times before any words came out.
"I'm not gonna lie, I've been thinking about this for a while now."
Sasuke raised an eyebrow.
"You've been thinking about what?"
Again, the blonde looked hesitant before speaking up.
"I think we should have 'the talk'."
Sasuke had so many mixed feelings about that sentence. He felt like laughing his ass off just because of the extreme irony of it all, and he felt like jumping Naruto because of the fact that he had 'been thinking about it for a while now'.