,Ok, so i have to beg some forgiveness here. i wrote this story about two years ago but didnt post it because i hadnt finished it. dont worry i will finish. but i had forgotten much of what I had written. having just re-read the first half I realise it is somewhat angsty. so heres my slightly late warning. angst alert. lots of fun and magic too, but defo at least moderate, if not high angst.

oh, and Darcy is abit of an idiot for a lot of this story. hes got that 'im a man and i know best' head on him. ill try and post quickly to get You through with as little pain as possible! stick with me. itll be worth it! :)

and as a disclaimer. JA wrote the main characters, the rest of the story/magical lore are my own thoughts. any similarity to other works is unintentional. please dont steal my ideas.

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Chapter 2

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Elizabeth stared at the scrap of foolscap, what could possibly have come up that was so important? She took a deep breath, scolding herself in to harmony of thought, and rang for her maid. She could not puzzle this out alone, so she may as well do something useful.

"Betsy, is that right?"

"Yes ma'am."

Betsy was a petite thing, about Elizabeth's age, maybe a few years older. Well spoken and respectful. Elizabeth hoped she would like her, a ladies maid could be a close confidante or the worst kind of servant. One who often knew more secrets than she should.

"I am Lizzie in private if you please" she said smiling at the woman "how long have you worked for the Darcys?"

"Since I was a girl miss. I was a scullery maid at Pemberley, and worked here for a while. Then I became an upstairs maid. I have helped out with Miss Georgiana since she was little, she would let me practice hair and all sorts. When the news came that Mr Darcy had chosen a wife, Mrs Reynolds put my name forward for the position with you ma'am. If you approve that is."

Elizabeth smiled "I am sure we shall get on well. I've never had a ladies maid all to myself before. Would you be able to show me about a little? I have not yet had a tour and if you know your way around I would appreciate it. Or should I" She paused, in the absence of her husband should she be asking the housekeeper for a tour. "Should I ask the housekeeper?"

Luckily, Betsy was not the type to take advantage of her new mistresses uncertainty.

"I would be happy to show you. Of course Mrs Coster is likely free to show you if you wish, ma'am."

"Lizzie"

Betsy smiled and ducked her head "Lizzie."

"I am certain you have much to say, let us start with the family room and move to the principals?" Betsy smiled and nodded.

They toured the house, Betsy had some amusing stories to tell of mischief that had been gotten up to. Often by Georgiana, occasionally Darcy or the Colonel. It turned out she was older than Darcy, she just looked young. She had known him since he was ten and had some stories of him as a young lad. Elizabeth was fascinated by these tales, encouraging her as much as she could.

They found the library, whilst touring the downstairs rooms, and Elizabeth stopped in wonder. The room was bigger than the large parlour at Longborn. There were easily twice as many books as could be found in her father's book room. The room smelled of leather and polish, not dissimilar to her father's book room but less musty. It was clearly well tended and well used. There were shelves reaching to the ceiling and two groups of sitting areas with tables between the chairs. An old looking chess set sat on one small table, the pieces delicately carved. There was a thick carpet on the floor and the room had a feel of comfort and contentment to it.

"Amazing" Elizabeth breathed, her face showing her enchantment.

"I can see you have found the room you are going to most enjoy, ma'am, Lizzie"

Lizzie looked back at the woman "I have indeed. I may just stay here all day."

"I shall leave you then. I need to finish your unpacking. Shall I send for some tea?"

"Thank you, you are very thoughtful."

Elizabeth started wandering the room, fingers trailing along the spines of the books. New books, old books, novels, history, philosophy and magic. So many books on magic. Not a speck of dust marred the surfaces. She just looked for a long time.

Then she selected a book and sat down to read.

...

That's where he found her, over two hours later. Her slippers were off, neatly placed by the sofa, her feet curled up under her. Tendrils of hair had come loose from her braided and curled coiffure. Her head was tilted, her slender neck exposed, creamy skin just begging for a kiss.

If she had looked up at this point she would have seen a look of anguish and despair cross his features, but it was gone in an instant.

"I see you found my favourite room" the deep voice made her jump slightly as she looked up. She smiled at him, a beautiful happy smile.

"Fitzwilliam, welcome home" she jumped up and moved over to him "I missed you."

He smiled at her "I did also. I am sorry about that my love. Sometimes business cannot be delayed"

"Nothing serious I hope? Is everyone well?"

"It was nothing serious" she frowned as his aura, usually a steady glow with streaks of green, flashed black. Darcy, a man who prided himself on hating disguise, rarely lied. Her ability to read auras often left her in an untenable situation, it was impolite to challenge someone when she could see an untruth. He was still talking "no one is unwell" the aura was clear again. She shook her head slightly, she did not wish to quarrel today and pointing out his deception would inevitably lead to one. She would have to trust him.

"What shall we do now?"

"Have you seen the house?"

"Some of it, Betsy was a most informative guide"

Darcy smiled, he had been pleased when Mrs Reynolds had put Betsy forward for the position of ladies maid, she and Elizabeth would suit each other well.

"Let us have dinner then."

Elizabeth happily took his arm and let him escort her to the dining room.

Dinner had gone well. Their conversation was never dull, they discussed books and music and magic. Then it became time to retire.

Elizabeth had changed in to a nightgown. A beautiful silk garment that her Aunt Gardiner had gifted her. She had been through two forms of the pre wedding talk. Her mother had told her very little but had been very adamant that proper ladies should lie still, allow their husbands whatever they wished, never complain about, well, anything. Of course, Mrs Bennet was not know for her perspicacity and Elizabeth had discounted much of what she had said. Her ominous warning about the elusive 'anything' had equally amused and scared Elizabeth. All her other words had made Elizabeth blush with mortification and despair.

Her aunt's advice was much more to her liking. The time between a man and wife could be pleasurable, she should trust him and follow his lead. She had mentioned few specifics, which Elizabeth was grateful for, but she understood the basics.

When the knock sounded, later than she expected, she was as ready as she would ever be. She opened the door and there he was. The look he gave her was pure fire and she felt her body warm as she smiled back at him. Immediately his expression became guarded.

"Elizabeth, I know you must be tired. Would you rather rest tonight?"

Elizabeth felt as if she had been doused in freezing water, had he really just suggested that? She looked down at herself, no longer seeing the alluring gown, instead feeling like she had dressed up like a courtesan.

"I understand."

Darcy sighed softly, noting her distress "no, I am sorry. I only meant if you were tired..." he trailed off.

She looked up at him, blinking away the tears that threatened.

He closed the distance and gathered her in to his arms, hands stroking down her back as her held her close. They stood like that for a minute, bodied pressed together. Elizabeth not sure what to do, Darcy was tense under her hands.

He moved his hands to her arms and ran them down to her fingers, placing a gentle kiss on the back of her hand.

He led her to the bed and sat her down, she had rarely seen him look so uncomfortable.

"Has your mother told you about the marriage bed?"

She giggled slightly "well, she's told me some things. I am not sure what to think."

He smiled gently at her "what did she say?"

"I cannot say, Tis too embarrassing"

"I should like to know you are prepared." He pressed.

Elizabeth looked away, unable to meet his gaze, and took a deep breath "she said to lie still, not complain" she trailed off "my aunt said to trust you" the last was a whisper.

Darcy closed his eyes, indecision warring across his face. When she looked back at him his expression was closed "that is good advice Elizabeth."

She frowned "my mother's?"

"Yes."

He watched her look of confusion fade to one of understanding, his heart breaking a little. "If that is how this goes."

"It will hurt, I am sorry my love"

She nodded, eyes full of trust, as he lay them both down.

It was over quickly, that was the best Elizabeth could say of the whole experience. There was no kissing, no touching he didn't even truly look at her. When he was finished he moved away, cradling her gently and she relaxed in his arms. She tried to ignore the soreness or the odd wet feeling between her thighs as she lay against his warmth.

"I am sorry, I know that will have hurt you... " he trailed off, not quite knowing the words. It had to be this way, he reminded himself. Hoping if he kept saying it he would believe it. "Are you well?"

There was a moment more silence, a moment longer than he would have liked and he knew matters were not alright.

"I am well" her voice was quiet but there was no quaver in it. He admired her for that. He leaned over and kissed her forehead, taking a deep breath in, his senses filling with the scent of her. He couldn't bear this any longer. He got up, needing space and cool air, he walked over to the basin and fetched her a cloth.

"Do you need any help?" He offered her the wash cloth

She looked down, red streaks and a sticky liquid coated her thigh. She covered it up with her gown, embarrassment washing over her.

"No. thank you." Her voice a strangled whisper.

They both just waited for a moment, he looking longingly at her, she keeping her eyes turned away.

"I shall leave you now. I will not visit again until you are recovered. I am sorry it hurts, it has to be this way" she looked up in to his eyes, hearing the plea in his words. What was he pleading with her for? Understanding? Forgiveness?

She got up and walked over to him, lifting up to gently brush her lips on his. He stood rigidly, waiting. She stepped away, embarrassed again.

"Goodnight my love" she moved back and he turned to look at her, eyes drinking her in, and then he turned away before disappearing in to his room.

Elizabeth sighed, turned to the wash basin and cleaned herself up. She thought back to the last half hour, she was now a wife. In body as well as soul. She couldn't quite put her finger on why she felt uneasy. She had expected more. The kisses they had shared had held great promise, should she be unhappy that things had not quite been as she had thought? But what had she thought? Passion and tenderness and desire. Was she wanton for wanting such things? She sighed again, Darcy seemed to think so. She made her way back to bed and crawled between the sheets, only then allowing a tear to fall.