Title: Endings & Beginnings Chapter Five
Author: Gillian Middleton
Characters: Sam & Dean
Rating: G
Total word count: 2400
Warning: A baby story. Angst.
Summary: Alternate universe story - Dean and Sam reunite after four years apart. Sam is burying his past, and Dean is holding his future.
But All Endings Are Also Beginnings
Part Five
By Gillian Middleton
Sam was flaked out on the spare bed, big feet hanging over the edge, soft breaths ruffling the long hair over his brow. Dean laid out a clean romper for Maddy, then started unbuttoning the one she was wearing, gently loosening press-studs and threading waving arms and legs free.
Maddy squealed and arched her back, wriggling under her father's attention.
"Shh," Dean whispered, glancing at Sam. His brother hadn't had a full nights sleep since Dean had picked him up in Stanford, and Dean was guiltily aware that some of that was down to having a young baby sharing their motel room. Maddy was a good baby, but they were lucky if she slept five hours straight. And she wasn't backwards about making sure that if she was awake, everyone else must be awake as well.
Sam twitched in his sleep, eyelashes fluttering.
"Let your uncle sleep," Dean murmured, stripping off Maddy's diaper and lifting her into his arms. He closed the bathroom door behind him with a gentle click, and held Maddy easily in one arm while he twisted the faucets in the shower to just the right temperature. Then he dropped the towel at his waist and stepped into the recessed cubicle.
Dean kept his back to the water, making sure it landed gently on the baby's tender skin. Maddy wrinkled her nose and looked unsure for a moment or two, then Dean turned a little, letting more of the warm water wash over her. She finally remembered she'd done this before and began slapping her hands at the spray, sputtering and chuckling as it splashed onto her pink cheeks.
Dean contented himself with rotating under the shower, letting the warm water soothe limbs weary from hours of driving. It felt as if he and Sam had cris-crossed the country in the last few weeks, following up one contact after another. Maddy slapped starfish hands against his chest and he smiled down at her, enjoying her innocent pleasure. Neither of them really needed a shower, and most days Maddy made do with a quick wipe-over with a damp cloth. But the warm spray was relaxing, and Dean was content to let the water wash over them now, easing away the worries of the day.
A noise from outside the door caught his attention and Dean stepped back out of the spray, tilting his head and listening hard.
"Dean?" There was a bellow from his brother and the bathroom door slammed open. Dean gripped Maddy tight in one arm and braced himself for danger. "Dean?" The shower curtain was ripped back and Sam stood there, bare-foot and haggard, tears glistening in his eyes.
"What is it?" Dean said urgently, looking over his brother's shoulder at the tumbled bedclothes, the empty motel room. "Sam?" he pressed, shutting off the faucet with his free hand. His brother was gaping at him dumbly.
"I couldn't find Maddy," Sam said blankly and Dean frowned at the wide-eyed stare. Damned if Sam didn't look like he was suffering from shock.
"We're having a shower," Dean said. "What the hell did you come busting in here for? You scared the crap outta me."
Sam swallowed, squeezing his eyes shut and opening them again, still looking dazed. "I woke up," he mumbled. "And Maddy's crib was empty." Lips trembling, Sam looked up at him. "Dean. I saw it. I dreamed it."
Dean snagged a towel from the rack and thrust it at his brother. "Take Maddy," he ordered, and Sam frowned at him for a moment longer, then held out the towel and accepted his niece into its folds. Dean picked his own towel up off the floor and wrapped it around his waist. He led the way into the bedroom and Sam followed, hands automatically patting the thin motel towel on Maddy's back, blotting up the moisture. The baby's damp curls looked dark gold in the lamplight and Dean flicked on another light before reaching out and taking his daughter from Sam.
"Talk to me, Sam," Dean ordered.
Sam swallowed hard but nodded. "I dreamed it, Dean. Like I dreamed about Jessica."
Dean sat down on the bed, his legs suddenly feeling weak under him. "You've had lots of dreams," he said, trying to be reasonable.
"Not like this," Sam said desperately. "It wasn't even like a dream. More like... a vision."
"A vision," Dean repeated flatly.
Sam sat down opposite him and leaned forward urgently. "I told you, Dean. I dreamed about Jessica, about the night she died. For days before it happened. And it was vivid. Real."
Dean absorbed this, nodding. "And this vision was like that?"
Sam nodded, eyes still wide, pupils looking blown. "I saw it," he said, voice shaking. "This time I saw it." He seemed to seek for words. "Dean. I think it's a demon."
Dean frowned. "You mean someone possessed by a demon?"
Sam shook his head. "No, Dean. A demon. In its own form. It had these eyes." Sam's face crumpled for a moment. "Yellow-green. Putrid, like pus."
"Gross," Dean muttered, arms tightening around Maddy. She was leaning against him, gazing up at him quietly, as if sensing something was wrong. "But why a demon? There's lots of things it could have been."
"I don't know." Sam shook his head. "I just felt this power from it. Felt what it could do, without lifting a finger. Dean, when I dreamed about Jessica, it was me, in the dream. Vision, whatever. Me on the bed, feeling the blood dripping, looking up and seeing her. But this time..." Sam gazed at him. "I saw it while it was happening."
"Tell me exactly what you saw," Dean ordered.
Sam looked away, face pale. "Maddy was crying," he said. "There was a corridor, of a house I didn't recognize. Then there was a room, and it was there. Those eyes..." Sam shuddered. "It didn't move a muscle, Dean, but I could feel the power of it..." Sam looked away, a frown knitting his sweaty brow. "That must have been just what Mom felt. And Jess."
"Go on."
"Someone was on the ceiling," Sam continued roughly. "Maddy was screaming and reaching out. But there was nothing I could do." Sam pressed his lips together tightly and fought for control. "And then there was the blood and the fire," he finished rapidly, forcing the words out. "And it was over."
Dean couldn't help but fill in all the blanks his brother left in the story. It was made easier by the way Sam still avoided his gaze. Dean stared at him, slumped on the bed, then he looked down at his child, leaning trustingly against him. They were relying on him, both of them, looking to him for answers. Panic was rising up inside him. He didn't know what to do.
"It's too soon, Sam," he managed. "It's weeks until Maddy is six months old. And months until November. Why now?"
Sam shook his head. "I don't know. Dean... I'm scared."
"Join the club," Dean muttered. He looked around the room, feeling helpless and out of his depth. He wondered what Dad would make of this, what Dad would think of Sam having visions. His heart twisted in his chest. He wished that Dad was here. Dean's gaze fell on the journal, sitting next to his bag and a sudden memory flashed.
"Here," he said, handing Maddy back to Sam. "Dry her off and get her dressed."
"Dean?" Sam said, accepting the baby. "What is it?"
Dean picked up their father's journal and began leafing through it. "I just remembered something Dad told me, a long time ago."
Sam laid Maddy down on the bed and patted her dry, eyes darting back and forth from his task to his brother as Dean flipped through the yellowing pages. "Here," he said, laying the book down next to Maddy on the bed. He pointed to a rough map.
"What's that?"
"Sam? How sure are you that this thing is a demon?"
Sam slid a diaper under Maddy and deftly fastened it around her. "I'd bet my life on it."
Dean nodded towards the baby under Sam's gentle hands. "You're betting her life on it."
Sam's jaw tightened and he wrapped his hands around Maddy's waist, stroking her tummy with his thumbs. "I'm sure," he said.
Dean pointed at the crude map. "Dad drew this map maybe five years ago. It's a mountain in the Appalachians. A woman named Lydia Morgan lives there. He told me that if I needed to know anything about demons, that she was the person to go to."
Sam frowned. "Why did he tell you and not me?"
Dean picked the journal back up and stuffed it in his bag. "I don't think you two were talking at the time. Now come on, Sammy, I don't know about you, but I'm not gonna be sleeping much tonight. Finish dressing Maddy while I get us packed, and we'll get back on the road."
Sam just sat on the edge of the bed, gazing down at the the baby.
"Sammy?"
"It's soon, Dean," Sam said quietly. "Maybe only days away." He looked up, caught Dean's eyes. "We're not ready."
Somehow Sam saying the words screaming in his own mind helped Dean attain some measure of calm. "Just hurry, Sam."
666
They threw their gear in the car and Dean opened the back door and buckled the baby carrier into the back seat. Maddy was settled into the padded carrier, sucking her pacifier, her little hands flexing. One reached out and Dean let her grip his finger, feeling the soft squeeze. She looked so small, so vulnerable, blinking sleepily up at him. The weight of responsibility pressed down on him and his powerful love for her filled his heart.
It frightened him sometimes, how much she meant to him. In the whole world there was just Maddy and Sam. Losing his father had almost killed him, but if he should lose his daughter or his brother...
Sam was climbing into the passenger seat, but he stopped short when Dean tapped his shoulder.
"You wanna drive?" Dean asked. He unzipped his jacket, cuddled Maddy against him and zipped the old leather back up. Sam straightened, looking at him for long moments, then nodded, accepting the keys.
Dean climbed into the passenger seat and buckled his seat belt, leaving one arm protectively wrapped around his daughter. Sam settled behind the wheel and gazed at him, eyes dropping to the fluff of blonde hair and the pink pacifier rocking rhythmically between Maddy's lips.
Then he started the car with a growl and they drove into the night.
666
"You think this is what Dad would have done?' Sam asked. "If he'd known for sure it was a demon? Gone to see this woman?"
"He said she was the best," Dean said quietly. Maddy was fast asleep against him, her soft cheek nuzzling into his chest. "The only thing that worries me is that he said she was old. I mean really old. I don't even know if she's still alive."
Sam shot him a glance. "Well, shouldn't we call her? Before we drive all the way to West Virginia, I mean."
"She doesn't have a phone."
"Dean it's 2005. Everybody has a phone."
Dean just shrugged. "Sam?" he said quietly.
"Yeah?"
"Who was on the ceiling?"
Sam shot him a look, jaw twitching. "What?"
"Your vision. You said someone was on the ceiling. Who was it?"
Sam drew in a shaky breath, shooting him another dark-eyed glance and Dean nodded. He'd been pretty sure since he heard the story.
"Figures," Dean murmured. He patted Maddy's back gently through his jacket, feeling the warmth and life of her against his heart. "I guess I'm the closest thing she has to a mother now."
"I'm sorry, Dean," Sam said softly.
Dean mulled it over for a few minutes as the night whipped by them. "Jennifer knew what she was doing after all when she split," he said.
"Jennifer?" Sam shot him a curious glance. "Is that Maddy's mother? You never mentioned her name before."
Dean nodded. "I know. It's in the back of my notebook, Sam. Along with her phone number. The last number I had for her anyway."
"Dean?"
"And Jennifer's parents' name and address is in there as well," Dean went on. "They're nice enough people but, boy, did they hate me. So I wouldn't call them unless you were really desperate."
"Stop it, Dean," Sam said firmly.
Dean ignored him. "Maddy's birth certificate is in there," he continued. "And her immunization stuff. You should..."
"I said stop it!" Sam yelled, and Dean closed his mouth. "Just stop talking like you're gonna die, all right? We knew this was coming, and we're gonna deal with it."
"Believe me, Sam," Dean said sincerely. "I don't want to think about this any more than you do. But I'm a parent now. I can't just ignore the risks. I've got Maddy to think about."
Sam shook his head stubbornly. "All you need to think about is how we're gonna get through this," he said firmly. "I mean, I've seen this thing now. And we know it's a demon. That gives us a head start, right? There are things we can do to fight a demon, or at least ward one off."
Dean nodded, looking out into the night. "Yeah," he agreed.
"Yeah," Sam repeated shakily. "And even if this woman hasn't got the answer we're looking for, she's one of Dad's contacts. She's gotta know something or somebody."
Dean shot his brother a sympathetic look. He couldn't imagine how hard this must be for Sam right now. He'd already lost the woman he loved to this thing. This... demon. And now it was after his niece and his brother. The only family he had left.
"Sam," Dean said quietly.
Sam bit his lip and glanced at him.
"I know this is hard, man, but I need to ask you to make me a promise now."
"No, you don't," Sam returned in a low voice. "You don't have to ask, Dean. You know... if anything happened... You know, right? That I'll take care of Maddy."
Dean nodded, knowing, but glad all the same to hear it.
"I do know that," he said sincerely. "That's not the promise I'm asking for. I mean, if this thing comes. When it comes... You have to promise me that you'll be thinking of Maddy first. You won't try and help me."
"Dean," Sam said in disbelief.
"I mean it, Sam," Dean grated out. "I can take care of myself. Your job is to get Maddy out, to keep her safe. Like Dad and me did with you. Okay?"
Sam was silent for a long time, expressions crossing his face. Dean read them all and ached for his brother's pain. But he didn't back down. He needed the promise. Whatever came next, whatever they had to do to get through this, Dean needed this promise from Sam.
Finally his brother nodded jerkily. "Okay."
Continued in Part 6