A/N: First, let me start by saying that I am NOT ABANDONING this story or any of my other Swan Queen stories. Life has been a little hectic in the last few months so updates have been incredibly slow for all my fics. So, this story and my other SQ stories will continue to be updated, but they all will take a bit longer than we'd all like them to be updated. So sorry for that. On that note, I apologize for this update being long overdue. I hate to keep all of you lovely readers waiting, but that's unfortunately how it is right now. :(
Regardless, please enjoy the latest chapter! :)
The yellow Bug growled, huffed, and sputtered to a rough stop at the curb outside of Regina's home. Emma parked the car and killed the engine before she leaned over and pulled open the glove compartment. A back up gun rested on top of a small stack of papers and flannel blanket she had started to keep in reach for cold nights like that night.
Within seconds, Emma bolted from her car and closed the distance between herself and Regina's front door. When she reached the front porch, she slowed her run to a careful and inspecting walk. She noticed the front door slightly ajar and held her gun at the ready as she nudged the door further open with the tip of her boot.
She raised her gun, prepared to shoot any intruder, and looked around like any cop trained to clear a room. Before she went any further into the house, Emma kicked the door shut then continued to navigate through the foyer with her gun pointed out in front of her.
It was eerily quiet inside and the first floor was completely dark. A chill ran over Emma and she turned toward the source of the cold to realize that one of the front windows had been smashed in.
As she approached the broken window, she finally identified herself.
"Sheriff's Department! If there's anyone in here that shouldn't be, come out slowly with your hands up."
Emma swept through the rest of the first floor before she circled back toward the stairs. So far she'd found nothing more than a damaged window and open front door, which was disconcerting in itself, but there were no other signs of forced entry or a struggle. As she crept up the staircase with her gun drawn and eyes wide as she tried to see through the darkness, she hoped Regina had listened to her and stayed in her bedroom. She hoped that whoever had tried to attack Regina had just thrown something at the house then left because she honestly wasn't sure what she would do if anything ever happened to Regina. That thought alone seemed a lot scarier than the potential threat of someone having broken in to Regina's place.
Once at the top of the stairs, everything instantly became darker and all the bedroom doors were shut. The hallway never seemed more ominous than it did that moment, almost like a scene out of a horror film just before the buxom blonde was stabbed repeatedly with her shirt wide open to display her bountiful and bouncing breasts. Since Emma was a blonde, her chances seemed to be unhealthily out of her favor. Though she did have a gun and her breasts were average so at least she had that going for her. Also, she wasn't in a horror film even though her life suddenly felt like a nightmare turned into reality.
She threw open Henry's door first because it was the room closest to the stairs and flipped the lights on in an instant. She did a fast and quick look through to ensure no one had tried to hide in there then moved on to the next room.
The bathroom and linen closet were clear and though Emma wanted to check the guest room just to secure every other room in the house before looking in on the brunette, she just couldn't wait to see the woman. She had to know as soon as possible if Regina had been hurt or threatened or touched in any way so she lowered her gun and reached out for the door knob.
"Regina? It's Emma. I'm coming in," Emma announced as she turned the knob and cautiously opened the door, careful not to startle the probably already tense and worried woman.
When Emma opened the door and stepped inside the room, she immediately noticed Regina beside her bed. The brunette's body was rigid from head to toe as she wrung her hands in front of her stomach, her eyes slightly wide in panic in the fully lit room.
"Hey," Emma breathed out with relief. "Are you okay?"
Regina nodded.
"Did you see anyone in the house? Did they come in here?"
"No," Regina said as she shook her head.
"Okay. I'm gonna go check the guest room and make sure they're gone. I'll be right back."
Emma turned and started to leave the room when Regina shakily spoke up.
"Th-thank you...Emma."
Emma stopped and looked over her shoulder at the brunette. She curled her lips into a small smile, one that wasn't anything at all like the smiles Regina used to get from her, before she turned away again and left the room.
Regina sighed and relaxed her tense muscles a bit then started to pace the room as she walked around the bed a few times. During her second time around the bed, Emma returned with her gun holstered in the front of her jeans.
"You sure you're okay," Emma asked as she closed the bedroom door and walked over to Regina, concern in her shiny green eyes.
Regina gulped as she nodded and forced a small smile onto her face that felt as nervous and afraid as it looked.
"What happened," Emma asked while she stopped in front of Regina and reached out for the woman.
Emma started to rub Regina's arms with her hands to warm her up and bring her out of her worried state.
Regina closed her eyes and sighed as she relaxed a little more then opened her eyes before she answered the blonde.
"I don't know," she said, her voice slightly raspy. "I just heard pounding and then a crash and it just...I don't know."
"Okay. It's okay," Emma reassured her.
"No, it's not," Regina said a little angrily as she shook her head and looked down at the small space between them, her eyes focused on the floor. "I'm the Evil Queen. I shouldn't have to be afraid in my own home. People should fear me."
"The Evil Queen had magic," Emma said. "You don't."
"If you're going to tell me that the Evil Queen and I are different people, I will find a way to hurt you," Regina almost growled.
"More than you already have?"
Regina's expression softened as she found Emma's eyes and stared at the blonde.
"I'm sorry," Regina whispered.
"I wasn't going to say you aren't the same person as the Evil Queen. Because that's kind of stupid, isn't it? You were a queen and you did bad enough things to earn the 'evil' title. I just...you're not like that anymore, are you?"
"No. I mean...there are things I've done here in Storybrooke...that I'm not proud of, but I'm not...I don't..."
Regina never finished her sentence.
Emma accepted it.
"It looks like whoever was here earlier just wanted to scare you," Emma said as she released Regina's arms and dropped her hands to her sides. "But I'm gonna stay in the guest room to make sure they don't come back to do anything worse than that, okay?"
Regina nodded, her eyes a little wide as she considered the blonde in front of her. She seemed slightly stunned and perhaps a bit awestruck in that moment.
Emma furrowed her brow.
"What," she asked the brunette.
Regina shook her head, similar to the way she had when she and Emma had first met and she'd discovered the younger woman was Henry's birth mother.
"You came," Regina said as though that should have explained everything.
Emma's eyebrows knit further together.
"Yeah, you called in a panic. What was I supposed to do? Let you fend for yourself?"
"But I...I lied to you and Henry and...I'm the reason you grew up the way you did."
Emma winced for a second at Regina's painfully truthful reminder.
"Yeah, but...it's not like you don't have your own story to tell. Right? I mean, you're a real person. What kind of person would do all of this," Emma said as she motioned around the bedroom. "Just because she was jealous of her stepdaughter's beauty. Which...I may be a little biased, but I think you're way more attractive."
Regina couldn't help the smile that appeared on her face and the quiet laughter that tumbled out from behind her lips.
"I would hope that you find me more attractive than your mother," Regina said as her laughter subsided.
Emma shuddered.
Regina's smile faded.
"Look," Regina started after a few seconds filled with awkward silence. "I...I just want to make sure you understand that I never meant to hurt you."
Emma's lips parted in shock and a little bit of disbelief.
"Then...why did you give me the turnover," Emma asked once she got her voice to work again, angry when she thought about it. "Why try to poison me?"
"It was different," Regina quickly tried to defend herself. "It wouldn't have harmed you."
"Then what would it have done because the only version of poisonous apples I know about are the ones that keep a person trapped in eternal sleep."
"I altered it."
"Altered what?"
"The curse. I made it so that even if you were stuck in eternal sleep, it wouldn't be harmful to you. You could...you would've dreamed about a good life. You would have lived in your dreams like it was reality and you would have never known pain or hurt or heartache."
"You...you did that? For me?"
Regina forced a small smile that looked nervous and somewhat pained before she nodded.
Emma sighed and closed her eyes while she shook her head.
"What you did is still messed up, Regina. You were going to put me to sleep! Regardless of what I would have felt during my time under that curse, I wouldn't be alive! And it wouldn't have been real."
"I just didn't want the truth about me and this town to destroy you," Regina explained, tears in her eyes. "And then Henry would have hated me..like he does now."
The last words Regina spoke were in a softer tone than anything else she'd said.
Emma's shoulders slumped in defeat and looked down at the floor before she took a step toward Regina to eliminate some of the space between them.
"He doesn't hate you. It's just...hard for him."
Emma looked up at Regina and stared into those wonderful and captivating brown eyes when she said "hard for him."
Regina caught the sentiment behind Emma's words and her breath almost hitched at the intensity of the moment.
"Emma..." Regina breathed as her eyes went from Emma's to the woman's lips.
The look on Emma's face displayed the blonde's inner struggle. She wanted to give in and just kiss Regina senseless like she had done time after time before fairy tales suddenly existed. But there was another part of her that was torn at the idea of giving herself over to the woman after everything she'd learned.
Regina slowly leaned in, but before her lips could even brush Emma's, the blonde spoke up and stopped her.
"I'll be in the guest room," Emma said as she took a step away from Regina and hesitated before she turned and shuffled out of the bedroom.
Regina frowned and stared at Emma like a kicked puppy as the blonde left her. She waited a few seconds as she tried to collect herself before she slowly went to her bedroom door and closed it behind Emma. She rested her forehead against it for a moment as she allowed herself to quietly cry once again for what she had lost.
Emma tossed and turned in the guest bed, her gun tucked away in the nightstand to her left as she managed to tangle herself up in the sheets. Her jeans laid in a wrinkled ball on the floor at the foot of the bed as she slept in only her T-shirt and panties.
Though Emma seemed to be a light sleeper, the fact that the guest bedroom door was wide open and Regina stood in the doorway as she leaned against the frame with her arms crossed over her chest proved just the opposite.
Regina stared at the blonde as she rolled over once then flounced onto her back with a heavy sigh before she whined and turned over onto her right side. She studied the younger woman as Emma bunched the sheets up between her legs and pushed the comforter away from her body while she squeezed her eyes shut and furrowed her brow. All the signs of a nightmare were present, but for some reason Regina didn't think that was why Emma had trouble sleeping.
Emma thrashed around and kicked away the bottom half of the comforter that had snaked around the woman's legs. The action revealed pale legs to the brunette with a view and also exposed Emma's black panties in the process.
Regina let her eyes wander over Emma's figure while she drank in the sight of the other woman's bare legs. As her eyes roamed down Emma's slightly uncovered stomach, she noticed red amongst a patch of something paler than Emma's legs.
Regina pushed off the door frame and padded into the guest room. The closer she got to Emma, the guiltier she felt. She realized that Emma had yet again opened old wounds and had bled from the assumed only partially healed mark on the woman's thigh. She reached out and lightly ran her fingertips over the sticky gauze.
Emma flinched under Regina's touch and gasped as her eyes opened. She flailed around in an attempt to turn onto her left side and retrieve her gun in the bedside table, but Regina quickly tried to assure her she was safe.
"Emma. It's me. Relax," Regina said as she pulled her hand away from Emma's leg. "Don't move too fast. You're hurt."
"God! Regina! What the hell?!"
Emma let out a frustrated sigh and sat up in the bed. She pulled herself back against the headboard and brought her knees up toward her chest as she rested her elbows on her knees. She ran a hand through her hair then held her forehead in that same hand.
"Did anyone ever tell you it's impolite to stare? Let alone creep up on people and watch them sleep?"
Regina smiled in the moonlit room and slowly sat down on the edge of the bed.
"I wasn't standing over you for very long," Regina confessed.
"Just long enough to scare the life out of me."
"I didn't mean to wake you."
"I don't think there's ever a good excuse as to why someone is watching their ex-girlfriend sleep."
Regina gasped and stared at Emma with wide eyes. She seemed surprised to hear Emma say that.
"What," Emma asked.
"Girlfriend."
"We did have a talk about what we were to each other...before everything got all archaic and everyone except Henry and I are from the Middle Ages."
Regina rolled her eyes.
"You just called me old in the worse way imaginable."
"No, doing that would mean saying you were so old you're eggs dried up after the first caveman evolved," Emma replied.
Regina's lips parted in utter offense and she smacked Emma's arm.
Emma laughed.
"But I'm not saying that," Emma assured her.
"You better not ever say that," Regina replied.
"I wouldn't. Last time I checked, you are the hottest and most in-shape fairy tale character in all the land."
Regina actually blushed at that, though the limited lighting in the room fortunately hid it well.
"Of course, I haven't felt up or fucked any other fairy tale character so...the comparison is from a skewed sample."
"We did more than fuck, dear," Regina corrected the blonde.
"Don't I know it," Emma solemnly agreed.
They sat in awkward silence for a few more seconds before Regina broke it.
"Here," Regina said as she moved a hand over Emma's left knee and lowered the blonde's leg flat onto the bed. "Let me..."
When Regina ran her hand over the gauze wrapped around the other woman's thigh, she kept her eyes locked on Emma's and her voice trailed off along with her thoughts. The instant her fingertips grazed over the bloody part of the gauze, both Emma's and Regina's breaths hitched.
They simultaneously looked down at Regina's hand and saw a faint purple glow illuminate the space between it and the gauze on Emma's thigh.
Emma felt a tingling sensation on her skin under the gauze and shifted on the bed as she almost shied away from Regina's apparent magic. She fidgeted and wiggled around on the mattress and even accidentally spread her legs as she struggled to feel comfortable beneath Regina's touch.
Regina hadn't meant to let her eyes wander, but the way Emma had started to move reminded her of how things used to be. She looked up from her glowing hand and raked her eyes over Emma's left leg up to her black panties. She bit her bottom lip as watched Emma's hips move then started to remove the gauze.
"Please stop moving," Regina quietly begged as she quickly tried to refocus her attention on the gauze.
"Sorry, but what you're doing...it's a little hard to keep still. Have you ever felt whatever it is you're doing," Emma asked as she continued to squirm.
"Emma," Regina chastised. "Please stop."
Regina's eyes locked onto Emma's and a heat flooded the blonde's cheeks and chest. She almost blushed at the look Regina gave her in that moment; one that spoke so many truths.
"It's making it hard for me to not stare at you in ways that aren't really appropriate right now," Regina confessed.
"Sorry," Emma softly said as she continued to stare into brown eyes and finally stilled herself. "What exactly are you doing?"
Emma's left knee slid toward Regina and settled it on top of Regina's thigh close to the brunette's hip while Regina ignored Emma's question altogether.
Regina looked down at Emma's thigh and peeled off the gauze as the purple glow from her hand faded. She set the gauze aside on the bedside table and ran her fingertips over the surprisingly unmarked flesh. She ran her thumb over the smooth skin before she traced the no longer present "R" on Emma's thigh.
"It's gone," Emma said as she stared down at her bare thigh in awe.
"It's magic," Regina said with a small, satisfied grin as she kept her gaze fixed on where her first initial used to mar pale, toned skin.
"But I thought you didn't have magic," Emma said as she looked up from Regina's lingering fingers and stared straight ahead at the brunette.
"I didn't think I did, but..." Regina's head snapped up as she trailed off and her eyes immediately found Emma's. "I don't understand."
"What do you mean you don't understand? You're the one who has magic and I'm the one that just found out fairy tales aren't actually 'tales'."
"Rumpel brought magic back to this town before the mob showed up at my door. I didn't have power when they came here and threatened me, but I have it now? That's what I don't understand," Regina explained.
"Maybe you were rusty," Emma shrugged.
Regina shook her head.
"It doesn't matter if I haven't used magic in a while. I still should have been able to do something earlier today if I still had it."
"So...what are you saying," Emma asked as she furrowed her brow.
"Magic is...emotion," Regina started as she lowered her head again and looked down at Emma's thigh. "You have to feel something to make magic work."
Regina started to sweep her fingers back and forth, up and down Emma's newly healed thigh.
"Anger. That's what got my magic to work," Regina continued.
"What? Why are you mad at me?! I'm not the one who cursed this town into misery just because she was upset about...whatever!"
"No! I'm not mad at you," Regina quickly argued. "And don't belittle why I cast the curse."
Emma rolled her eyes.
Regina sighed out of frustration as she tried to calm herself down.
"I'm not mad at you," Regina repeated, softer than their first time. "I wasn't mad at all when I healed you."
"Then I'm not following you. How come your magic worked now and not earlier, especially if you weren't angry now to trigger it?"
"I don't know," Regina said in a sort of dream like state as she continued to draw patterns on Emma's skin.
Regina caressed Emma's thigh again and again as she refused to look into green eyes. A lump caught in her throat brought on by tears that had yet to fall.
"Thankfully this means the mark won't scar," Regina awkwardly laughed. "And now...you don't have to be painfully reminded that we were ever together."
"You think I can forget?"
"I didn't think you'd want to remember."
Emma pulled her left leg away from Regina's hand and held her knees to her chest.
"This is really difficult," Emma breathed out as she rested her chin on her knees.
"I know. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry," Regina said as she reached out with the hand she'd used to touch Emma's healed thigh.
Regina ran her hand through Emma's hair and scooted closer to the blonde. She looked genuinely apologetic as she leaned in and kissed the woman's forehead. When her lips touched Emma's forehead, the other woman closed her eyes and fought off the onslaught of tears.
Emma took a deep breath, stunned and jagged from the overwhelming emotion that threatened to stain her cheeks and make her eyes red and puffy.
Regina moved lower and kissed Emma's cheek.
Emma sniffled and held back more tears that were surprisingly close to escaping.
"Why did you do this to me," Emma asked in a whisper thick with tears that decided to trail down her cheeks just at that moment.
Regina's heart wrenched in her chest at Emma's pain. Pain she had caused.
"I'm sorry," Regina repeated once more as she shook her head then leaned in again.
Regina chastely kissed Emma on the lips and Emma finally let go of her hurtful self-control.
Tears fell and soft sobs echoed off the guest room walls.
"I told you stuff about me," Emma cried. "I let you in and I made the mistake of...trusting you. Like I trusted him."
That was when Regina's heart broke. It had been charred and broken before, but Regina felt something so much more toward Emma then she had ever imagined she would, or even could.
Regina wrapped her arms around Emma.
"Why did you fuck me? Why did you ever make me want you? Was this your plan? The whole time? Everything was always a power play and it looks like it's settled. No need to tally up the score. You won."
"No, I didn't," Regina quietly cried into the crook of Emma's neck. "I hurt you and Henry and now...what do I have?"
"So...screwing me over was worth absolutely nothing. That makes me feel a whole lot better," Emma sarcastically said with a shaky voice, most of her crying already over.
"I didn't think this would happen," Regina sadly confessed as she pulled away.
"Would it have made a difference if you had? Or would you still act like the Evil Queen and take what you wanted without any consideration for how I might feel?"
"When I became the Evil Queen, when I assumed that title and had no mercy, I didn't love anything or anyone. There is no way I would've acted the way I did if I'd known things would be more than physical pleasure between us. I couldn't have."
"And what about Henry?"
"What do you mean what about Henry? I love him and I hate that he hates me for all I've done."
"He doesn't hate you," Emma told her with a shake of her head. "I've told you this already."
Regina furrowed her brows in confusion.
"He wanted me to make sure you were okay. He saw me panic when you called tonight and he even wanted to come with me to make sure nothing bad had happened to you. I think he's just upset that you lied to him and that you were cruel...once upon a time."
There was a quick moment of silence between them before they shared a laugh. It was a short moment of relief, but it was needed and therapeutic and reminded them both of the better times they'd shared only a few days ago. When their laughter died away, silence enveloped the room and things were awkward again.
"Um, thanks for...healing my leg," Emma said as he shifted on the bed. "You should get some sleep."
Regina looked down at the space between them. She swallowed the lump she suddenly felt in her throat and nodded.
"Thank you for coming over," Regina slowly and quietly said as she reluctantly removed herself from the mattress.
"I may not like our new situation, but I wouldn't leave you if you needed someone. Even if we never..."
Emma sighed and continued.
"Look, you're Henry's mom and I can't let anything happen to you because it would kill him. Even though he doesn't show it, the kid loves you. I can't let anything happen to you."
"I... Emma, I'm sorry."
Regina tried to hold back the tears she felt prickle her eyes. She had never said those words and meant them with so much truth and conviction since she killed her father to cast the curse. And yet, she meant it every time she said it to Emma.
"For what I did to Henry...to you," Regina added.
Emma kept her head down.
"I'm sorry I turned out to be just like him," Regina started to choke up, her words clipped and cracked with a strained voice. "Henry's father."
Emma's head snapped up and she stared at Regina with wide eyes filled with surprise and wonder.
Regina mirthlessly laughed.
"Yes, I do listen to you," Regina confessed. "Shocking, isn't it?"
Emma thickly swallowed in an attempt to wet her dry throat with saliva that wasn't enough to stop the burning sensation.
Regina leaned in and kissed Emma's cheek.
Emma closed her eyes when she felt those familiar lips on her cheek. A couple more tears slid down both cheeks and one salted Regina's lips.
"You and Henry are all I have," Regina whispered in Emma's ear before she pulled away from the blonde and left the room.
Emma sniffled and wiped away her tears before she remembered what she told Henry. She got up and went into his room. She checked under his pillow and found his walkie talkie. She flicked it on and heard the faint crackle of static followed by, "Mom? Mom! Are you there? Please answer me."
"Hey, kid," she quickly answered Henry's panicked and desperate pleas.
"Mom! How is she? Are you okay?"
"I'm fine, Henry. She's fine. Whoever it was that was threatening her was gone before I got there. She wasn't hurt and the only thing that's broken is the front window downstairs."
"...Good. Okay. That's good."
"Henry, really, it's fine. I promise. I'm gonna stay the night and make sure no one else tries to break in. You should go to bed."
"I know, but...I..."
Emma sighed.
"Henry, is there something I can do to make it easier for you to go to sleep?"
"She tells me stories...and sometimes sings."
"I have no stories to share and if I sang to you, you wouldn't sleep. You'd be more on edge and your ears would bleed."
"Um...maybe I..."
Emma waited almost a full minute, but he never finished his sentence.
"I'm not going to judge you if you want to hear her voice, Henry. I told you before I left that she's your mom. Forget all the crap she's done in her past. Just focus on all the things she's done for you, okay? Focus on her being your mom and that's all that matters."
"Okay. Can I...can I talk to her?"
"Yeah. Give me a sec."
Emma went down the hall and knocked three times on Regina's closed bedroom door.
"Regina?"
Only a second later, Regina opened the door and tried to keep her expression neutral.
"Henry needs to hear your voice to know you're okay," Emma said as she held up the walkie talkie for Regina to see. "Talk to him until he falls asleep?"
Regina smiled. It was tainted with painful hope and a small amount of happiness. She took the walkie talkie from Emma and held down the bottom to talk, but took a moment to find the words to say.
"Henry? It's me."
A few seconds passed before he replied.
"You're really okay?"
"Yes, Henry. I'm okay. Emma took care of everything."
Emma and Regina's eyes locked for a moment and the tension between them was thick and palpable before Regina spoke into the walkie talkie again as she turned and headed toward her bed.
"How are you?"
"Um..."
Emma followed Regina to the bed and sat down on the edge of the mattress near the foot of the bed.
"I'm..."
Henry still hadn't managed to say much. Both mothers heard the inner and outer struggle present in his voice.
Regina sat on her side of the bed and leaned back against the headboard.
"It's difficult," he finally managed to say. "I don't...know how I feel."
"That's okay," Regina soothingly assured him. "I know it's confusing for you right now and I understand. I'm truly sorry I lied to you about everything and I'm sorry I've now put you in this position."
Henry didn't say anything for a while, but Regina waited for him to speak. She was wide awake and ready to do everything for her son.
"Part of me wants to see you," Henry slowly started. "And the other part of me wants you to stay away and leave everyone alone."
Regina took a deep breath before she came up with a reply.
"I can leave everyone alone. If that's what it takes to show you that who I am is not what I've done then that's what I'll do. If you want to see me, you can. I'll even agree to have Emma there if that's what it takes. But...if you don't want to see me, that's understandable. I won't question it and I won't try to argue with you.
"In the past, I may have pushed you to do things because I thought it was best, but now I'm going to let you make the decisions. These are things that are ultimately up to you. Whatever you want from me, I'll give it to you. Okay?"
"...Okay."
"Are you tired?"
"Not...really."
"Would you like me to tell you a story?"
"That story...about the princess and the knight?"
"What about it?"
"Is that kind of about...you and...Emma?"
Regina looked over at Emma as the blonde continued to tensely sit on the edge of the bed, her back mostly to Regina though when she turned her head slightly the brunette could see one side of her face.
"Maybe a little," Regina admitted after a few seconds.
"Tell me that story."
"About the princess and the knight or about Emma and I?"
"Both."
"Okay. Let's see," Regina started as she racked her brain for a way to tell both stories simultaneously. "We left off with the knight asking the princess if she could come up to the princess' room, right?"
"Yeah."
Emma slowly turned to face Regina though she remained on the edge of the bed a safe distance from the brunette, a little intrigued.
"Well, I'm the princess in the story and Emma's the knight."
"Yeah. I got that part. But...Emma's technically a princess too, isn't she?"
Regina flashed the tiniest of smiles before she answered.
"Yes, but I think she makes a much better knight, don't you?"
"She did protect you tonight," Henry said as he honestly thought about it. "And she promised she was going to take care of you that one night when you had a bad dream and she was staying at the house."
"She did," Regina looked right at Emma as she spoke.
"So, does the princess let the knight into her room?"
Regina continued to stare at Emma as she hesitated to answer him.
Emma looked at Regina as though she was just as interested in the story as Henry, but she also saw the reason for Regina's hesitance in the woman's revealing eyes.
"On that night, yes. The princess allowed the knight a place to stay. So the knight climbed up the castle wall and tumbled onto the balcony. She stumbled toward the princess and laughed at her own clumsiness."
Emma moved closer to the head of the bed, but remained seated on the edge.
"What happened next," Henry asked.
"The princess backed away from the knight, wide eyed and curious about the knight's peculiar behavior."
"Wait, is this how you and Emma got together?"
"No, Emma didn't stumble toward me. We weren't as pleasant or polite with each other when we first started...seeing each other. But Emma still managed to surprise me with every little thing she did. That part is the same between the two stories."
"Got it. What did the princess do about the knight's weird behavior?"
"I don't have weird behavior. Do you see what you're teaching him," Emma joked.
"I'm telling the story," Regina grinned.
Emma rolled her eyes and laid down on the empty side of the bed. She flipped onto her back and stared up at the ceiling.
"The knight apologized," Regina continued with the story. "And then she asked if the princess would teach her about the kingdom. The knight was only visiting the land and knew nothing about the King and Queen.
"The princess led the knight into her chambers and offered her the chaise near the balcony. The princess said they had to keep quiet so the Queen wouldn't wake. The knight didn't seem to know the definition of the word quiet because she was loud, but thankfully she and the princess fell asleep very early into the conversation."
Emma yawned and closed her eyes.
"The princess," Regina went on, "woke up what felt like minutes later with the knight in her bed."
"Gross," Henry sleepily said through the walkie talkie before he yawned.
Regina chuckled.
"Not gross. The knight was only there because the Queen was roaming the halls and was pounding on the door. She had her sword out and at the ready with her hand pressed to the princess' arm. She used her whole her body to shield the princess from what stood on the other side of the chamber doors.
"The princess heard the Queen's voice call out her name and she quickly sat up. She explained to the knight it was her mother and that she needed to hide. The princess wasn't supposed to have anyone in her chambers. So she pushed the knight into her closet and opened the door.
"The Queen yelled at the princess about being woken up and about how she hated when the princess locked her chambers. The Queen was always furious with the princess, but the princess had years of experience with her disapproval. It took only a few more minutes before the princess got the Queen to leave and when she did, she opened the closet door and saw the blonde haired knight smirking at her."
Regina looked down at Emma beside her. The woman's breathing seemed slow and evened out, her eyes still closed.
"The princess didn't realize then what she had. The knight was much more than a knight and that smirk was one of the little details the princess would come to love about her. The knight was a fighter and had a certain confidence. She's a hell of a woman."
Regina reached down and started to brush Emma's hair away from her face. She ran her fingertips up and down Emma's arm and stared at her, watched her sleep. She smiled to herself as she remembered every small and stupid thing Emma ever did for her. She remembered how Emma felt and smelled and sounded when she was happy and becoming a permanent part of the Mills family.
She didn't realize how long she had stopped to look at Emma, but she suddenly noticed she hadn't heard Henry ask her to continue and she hadn't spoke in some time. Though she didn't know exactly how long, she knew it would have been long enough to get Henry's attention.
"Henry," Regina asked in a whisper. "Are you asleep?"
She waited a minute or two with no reply before she decided he had indeed fell asleep. She left the walkie talkie on, but set it down on the nightstand next to her before she carefully maneuvered Emma under the covers. She then slipped under the covers herself and turned off the bedside lamp.
Regina stayed on her side of the bed to give the blonde her space since she had wanted to stay in the guest bedroom, away from Regina, but when she drifted off to sleep she had no control over what Emma did.
Regina was the first to wake up and when she did, she felt a warm pressure on one side of her body. She frowned and furrowed her brows before she looked down and to her left where she saw blonde hair partially fanned out around her shoulder and chest.
Emma had attached herself to Regina at some point during the night and clung to her from behind. One arm was slung over Regina's chest while her leg was draped over Regina's hips. The blonde's position had caused Regina to be half on her back and half on her side so Emma could rest her head on Regina's chest, but apparently Regina didn't mind. The brunette hadn't moved since Emma had done all but climb completely on top of her and when she woke, she still had yet to move herself or Emma.
Regina smiled at Emma once she noticed the other woman and brushed her fingers through tangled blonde hair as best she could in her then slightly awkward yet somewhat comfortable position.
Emma hummed and nuzzled her face into the crook of Regina's neck.
Regina chuckled and shifted just enough to allow Emma to occupy the space between her collarbone and pulse point without being tickled and poked by stray, blonde strands. She took a deep breath and slowly released it through her nose as she briefly looked up at the ceiling then relaxed her eyes closed. She wanted to drift back to sleep and stay wrapped up in bed with Emma all day, but she knew as soon as the younger woman opened her green eyes she would surely flee.
So Regina decided to just enjoy what she had while she had it because even after only a day without it, she already missed it. She knew that the second the curse broke and she would continue to remind herself of what she'd lost to ensure she never forgot. It was a form of self-prescribed punishment, but it was also a way to avoid further heartbreak. If she forgot that she no longer had Emma or Henry, she would allow herself to feel the joy they caused her just for it to be ripped away by one look from either of them. Emma would stare at her like she couldn't understand how Regina could be so delusional and Henry would look at her with disappointment.
Thankfully, Emma gave her almost an hour of peace that morning. She held the younger woman against her body and rested with her, but didn't fall back to sleep. Though that's what she thought she wanted, to sleep with Emma a little longer, she soon realized she wanted to be awake to savor the smell of Emma's hair and listen to her breathe against her neck and chest. She wanted to be awake to appreciate all the things she already knew and had taken time to enjoy before the curse broke, but wanted to keep the memories alive for as long as possible. Taking them all in while she still could would certainly do that even though she knew it would probably hurt more when Emma realized how they'd slept.
When the hour was almost up, Emma was as well. She slowly started to stir, but seemed to have no idea where she was or why the bed she slept on hadn't felt like a bed at all. Her eyes opened and then focused on the object she had been sleeping on and when she saw Regina, she blinked until her eyes were wide enough to show her surprise.
"You fell asleep here when I was telling Henry a bedtime story over the walkie talkie," Regina explained, her features mostly neutral aside from her expressive eyes that always gave away her true feelings.
Both women knew Regina looked a little wounded and apologetic.
"Oh. Right," Emma said as she furrowed her brows and played through the events of the previous night. "Sorry."
Regina tried not to look even more pathetic by nearly crying as she shook her head against her pillow and rolled onto her side as Emma knelt beside her on the bed.
"No. It's okay. I mean, I'm okay with it. I understand if you..."
Regina trailed off, unable to voice her suspicions that Emma didn't want to confuse either of them with the intimate sleeping arrangement.
"It's not like I'm disgusted or ashamed of this, Regina," Emma started as she motioned between them with her hand. "I just...this is really complicated."
"I know."
"And I don't want you to get the wrong idea about us because–"
"There isn't an 'us' anymore. Yes, I understand."
Emma seemed to deflate when she heard the words out loud. It wasn't as if she expected them to still be a couple after what she found out about Regina and the whole damn town, but she hadn't really told herself yet that it was over. She couldn't. Even if she had used the term ex-girlfriend, it was still too hard to think that the person she fell hard for, yet again, was just another disappointment. It was too hard to understand that the Regina she knew wasn't the only Regina within the alluring and enigmatic woman she'd met and slept with and gave all that was left of her heart since her first love had all but crushed it completely. To think she had to get over and move past the woman that helped her see there was still a little something left of the aching muscle inside her pained chest tore her apart. If she really thought about it, the heartache Regina caused felt heavier and more devastating than the hurt caused by the father of her son.
Emma's expression fell and she immediately looked like a kicked puppy on the verge of tears and possibly throwing up. She started to shuffle off the bed, but Regina quickly sat up and grabbed her wrist. Emma stared right at Regina and the emotions written across her face didn't change. She still looked hurt and physically ill.
"I know you want to run, but please," Regina begged. "Don't."
"I can't stay here. I have to– I need to go...somewhere!"
Regina shook her head again as she closed some of the space between them and pushed herself onto her knees to be almost at eye level with Emma who still remained kneeling on the bed.
"You can leave this house and you don't have to go back to the apartment, but don't you dare leave this town."
"You can't stop me," Emma quietly said, though it was said with a great amount of conviction.
"No, I can't. But if you leave, think about Henry. You may have stayed here because of me for whatever reason, but he grew on you. You knew he would and you let it happen anyway."
"I could say the same happened when it comes to you," Emma interjected with a slightly gravelly voice, a little flat but also angry.
"If you can't convince yourself to stay simply because he wants and needs you then think about who you'd be leaving him with. I'm sure your parents would take him from me and then he'd have no mother. At all. You know what that's like, don't you."
Emma frowned and slumped forward.
"I don't know what to do," Emma barely managed to say above a whisper as she lowered her gaze to the mattress underneath them.
"Why don't...you stay for breakfast and I'll tell you whatever you want to know. That would be a start, right?"
"I don't want to know anything," Emma said as her eyes snapped back up to Regina's. "You cursed everyone here and I grew up without a family who couldn't even remember they had me! I believed that you weren't who Henry said you were, but at some point you were the Evil Queen. That alone is insane! That book is supposed to be filled with stories about fictional fairy tales. They aren't supposed to be real people and they certainly shouldn't be the people I fuck!"
Regina winced at the expletive. She felt slighted and demeaned by that word when she knew they hadn't just fucked. The more sex they had, the closer they got to each other and that was something Regina knew neither one of them could deny. She hadn't felt anything like what the two of them had except for with Daniel and she had given up the ring to try to keep Emma from falling apart like she was that very moment. Right in front of her.
"This shouldn't be real," Emma lowered her voice.
"And yet, it's the only thing that's real," Regina said. "I'm sorry, Emma. I know I could say it a million more times and it still won't be enough, but I can't...I can't let this destroy you."
"Funny, since you had no problem with destroying me if it was the last thing you did, right? I mean, that's what it felt like before that night outside your office, under the apple tree. The night that everything changed?"
"And that fact alone should convince you that I'm not the woman in that damn book! I've done horrible things, most of them outlined in the book, yes. But I haven't done anything that cruel since I cast the curse."
"And Graham?"
Emma's voice cracked.
Regina thickly swallowed and looked down at her hands.
"Oh my god," Emma breathed out, two seconds away from crying. "That was cruel. You killed him!"
"Just...let me explain," Regina pleaded. "A calm discussion about...everything. I don't expect you to forgive me, I just want you to hear my side of the story."
"Why did it have to be you," Emma asked so quietly that if it wasn't so still in the room, Regina might not have heard her. "Why did I have to..."
Emma took a deep breath and shut down. She closed herself off and looked resigned to all emotion aside from anger, prepared to fight or walk away if need be.
"Fine," Emma briskly said. "We can talk over breakfast."
Regina felt her heart clatter to the pit of her stomach at the sight of Emma bury her emotions and turn into the closest thing to a robot a human could be without scientific experimentation. The woman gave her only seconds to accept that change and follow Emma down to the kitchen before the other woman removed herself from the bed and practically left Regina behind like she no longer mattered and Emma no longer cared what she did.
Once they were in the kitchen, Regina started to prepare a quick but thought out breakfast for Emma while the blonde took several minutes to calm down. By the time Regina had two pancakes finished, Emma had relaxed into a less dramatic state of emotion. Though she didn't appear on the cusp of a mental breakdown, she also didn't seem so angry and eerily tame as she had only moments before entering the kitchen.
Regina served the two pancakes to Emma on one plate and turned off the stove. She cleaned up what little there was to clean before she cautiously ushered Emma into the dining room. They took their usual seats next to each other, but Emma moved her chair a little further down the table to give them a small amount of space. Though it hurt Regina, she was thankful that Emma at least didn't have it in her to sit at the other end of the table and put more distance between them than the brunette could handle.
"You're not gonna eat," Emma asked.
Regina nervously licked her lips then cleared her throat.
"No. I'm not hungry. I couldn't eat if I wanted to right now."
Emma looked from Regina down to her food.
"You made me pancakes."
"Did you want something else? I'm sure I could make eggs or even let you have a bowl of cereal if you'd prefer."
"Um, no. It's just that...pancakes are...usually what you serve someone after you spent the night together."
Regina furrowed her brows.
"But...we did spend the night together."
Emma shook her head.
"Spent the night as in had sex the night before and then stayed through breakfast the next day," Emma elaborated.
"Oh." Regina felt as guilty as she looked. "I didn't realize."
"No, uh, it's okay," Emma replied. "I don't...mind."
Emma sighed before she collected herself and her thoughts and continued.
"It's fine. Really. Who decided pancakes were the morning after food anyway? Like, why is there just one specific meal that says 'we did it'."
Regina smiled and softly said, "Thank you."
Emma flashed a barely there smile, but one that was seen all the same.
"Yeah," Emma shrugged then started to eat.
Regina cleared her throat again.
"I don't...I don't know how to start this and I want you to ask me questions when you're ready, but I think there's something I should say. Regardless of the questions you may have."
Emma briefly glanced at Regina before she set her fork down on the plate and kept her eyes averted while she finished chewing.
"You've seen me as Regina. You never believed Henry when he told you I was the Evil Queen. I made sure you and him didn't see the part of me. Not just because it's the worst side of myself, but because I don't want to hurt those I hold dear. I lost a lot when I cast the curse and I see now that I'll continue to lose a lot unless I own up to my mistakes."
Emma slowly started to look up at Regina while the brunette picked at the table cloth and kept her eyes down as she spoke.
"Back in the Enchanted Forest," Regina continued. "I didn't care what I did, right or wrong, and I don't even think I knew what was wrong anymore. I just knew what I wanted. I wanted revenge. It may have been malicious to seek out the destruction I did back then, but I thought it was justification for the things done to me."
Regina flicked her eyes up and they instantly locked onto Emma's.
"All of this can be explained when you ask your questions," Regina suddenly dismissed the topic. "What I really want to say is...I never lied about how I feel about you. I've told you before that nothing was real until you, aside from Henry of course, and I told you last night that you and Henry are all I have. All of that is true and...I wouldn't want it any other way.
"There's a reason why I turned to magic all those years ago, Emma. I lost someone very important to me and... Well, I see now that maybe it did happen for a reason. I understand that it might sound terrible for me to say that all the lives I took and ruining your moth– Mary Margaret's life as much as I felt she had ruined mine was worth it, but if I hadn't tried and failed so many times to pay her back for the pain she caused me then I probably wouldn't have cast the curse. If I hadn't done that, I probably would have killed you to spite her. And of course, if that had happened, Henry wouldn't exist. Although, I'm not sure he would have existed without the curse anyway.
"I might not have made the right choices, but the choices I did make led me to the two of you. I wouldn't change a thing about what I did if it meant that a single detail rewritten would keep me from you and him."
Emma sighed and looked down at the table. She played with her fork and avoided eye contact. She didn't have a response to what Regina had said. Not just yet. She needed to think and let it all sink in. Regina had said several things that implied feelings toward her that she'd never truly felt or believed one could feel toward her before.
"I feel bad about the things I've done," Regina added. "But I don't regret it."
Emma swallowed hard and hesitated a few seconds before she nodded.
"I can understand that," Emma confessed. "There are things I've done, too. And I'm not proud of them, but I can't regret them either."
"So we do have an understanding," Regina stated more than asked.
"Yeah."
"But this isn't you forgiving me."
Emma locked eyes with Regina.
"...No."
"Okay," Regina said before she looked down and picked at her slacks before she brushed away almost unnoticeable lint.
For a moment, the only sound in the dining room heard was the clanking of Emma's fork and knife against her plate. When Emma took another bite of her pancakes and the clanking momentarily stopped, Regina cleared her throat before she spoke again.
"So, how is Henry? I know he's angry with me, but other than that how is he doing?"
"Well, he's adjusting, I guess. It's only been about a day since everything happened, you know? But I think he's okay with finally being able to spend some time with his...grandparents. It seems to me all he's wanted is more family?"
Regina bitterly smiled.
"Yes, it seems he was never content with just me."
Emma stuttered a few times and blinked over and over again as she struggled to find the right words.
"Oh...no. Regina–"
"It's alright, dear," Regina tried to force a less bitter smile. "Even when you and I were... He still didn't want to spend time with me. You had to encourage him to be okay with me being his mother just as much as he believes you to be his mother."
"God, why is this so hard?"
"Why is what so hard?"
"Everything. I've said this before, Regina. Between you and me and then this whole curse thing. Now there's Henry and how he feels about you versus me. I just...I'm glad he's so open to the idea of me being his mother, but...you were there when I wasn't and I... He doesn't seem to appreciate that and, I don't know, that bothers me. I'm so thankful that he just accepts me and loves me even though I gave him up, but it's not okay that he's just tossing you aside. And of course that's not just because I can't imagine how you must feel, but because I...care...about you."
Regina shook her head.
"Don't worry about how he and I are doing. Worry about being the mother he sees in you, the hero he sees in you. Let me worry about how he sees me."
"Really, Regina–"
Regina held up a hand to stop her.
"No. I'm telling you to focus on Henry. That's not an insane request. He should come first. Besides, whatever you felt about me shouldn't get in the way of you taking care of him. If he's going to ever forgive me, it'll take time and space and he'll do it his way. We should both respect that. And...I think him wanting you to check in with him to know if I was okay last night is a positive first step toward us repairing our relationship."
Emma flashed a small smile that disappeared quickly.
"Maybe you two will get along better than before once everything is aired out," the blonde shrugged with a hopeful tone and expression.
"Maybe," Regina said with a sad smile and her voice gave away the lack of conviction she felt.
Emma was discomforted by the sound of Regina's voice. She looked down at her food then up at the nearest clock to check the time. Emma pushed her chair away from the table and stood. Regina stood with her.
"Well, I should probably get going," Emma said.
"I suppose so."
"Thank you for breakfast."
"Thank you for agreeing to talk with me."
Emma tried to smile, but her lips barely even twitched with the small effort.
Regina followed Emma to the door and saw her out of the mansion, but she didn't let Emma pass the front porch before she called her back.
"Emma, wait," Regina carefully but somewhat desperately said.
Emma spun on her heels and sagged her shoulders with a little bit of relief and a little bit of apprehension.
"I just..." Regina paused and took a deep breath. "Thank you."
Emma looked confused.
"You...just said that."
Regina smiled and shook her head as she teared up at the thoughts she couldn't seem to outwardly express.
"Thank you," Regina repeated as she took a step toward Emma.
"I don't–"
Regina took another step forward and grabbed Emma's wrists less than a second before she pulled the blonde close.
"Regina," Emma breathed out.
Regina slid her hands down from Emma's wrists into Emma's hands and squeezed.
"I'm going to try...for you and for Henry. I'm going to try to be better and to make up for hurting the two of you. I'm not giving up on either of you."
Emma gave a watery smile.
"Good," she said.
Regina cocked her head to the side and stared at Emma with curiosity.
"Because we need you to try," Emma elaborated. "And if you gave up on us so soon, I'd be really disappointed because I know you and I know you wouldn't take any of this laying down. I used to have the branding on my thigh to prove it."
They smiled together and seemed to light up with everything but laughter in that moment.
"I don't pull my punches."
"I know that too," Emma said, her smile even wider before she was reminded of exactly when Regina had punched her. Graham was still alive then. "But...that's a conversation for another time."
Suddenly, Regina's face fell.
"Yes. There are several conversations we still need to have. All in due time, if you'll listen," Regina said as she started to back away from Emma, but continued to hold the other woman's hands.
"Hey," Emma said as she squeezed Regina's hands and tugged her back toward herself. "I will."
Regina wanted to smile to show her appreciation, but all she could do was hold back tears of joy for hearing words that meant more than she could describe.
"That's a promise," Regina said. "You better be able to keep it because if you can't...?"
Emma leaned in and rested her forehead against Regina's. The action immediately quieted the brunette.
"This...really hurts, Regina. But I'm not...I'm not running away. It would be so easy and I still really want to, but I just...can't."
"You're not...you're not running?"
Regina was shocked and it showed, especially given their earlier conversation about Emma needing to be elsewhere.
Emma faintly smiled and pulled her forehead away from Regina's just far enough to look down into Regina's lowered eyes.
"Apparently, I found somewhere worth staying," Emma said.
Regina looked up and locked eyes with Emma. There was a moment. Everything was silent and tense and charged with several different emotions.
Emma leaned in again.
Regina's breath hitched.
Green eyes searched brown and brown eyes searched green. Emma looked for permission and Regina looked for proof that the moment was real. They both found what they were looking for when they closed their eyes and the rest of the space between them.
Note: Feel free to leave a review and let me know what you think of this chapter. Also, I know several of you had been asking if this was going to be updated soon and if I could leave a note in my next update of my other stories letting you know. Hopefully this chapter answered your questions and/or concerns. Some of you I told through a PM this would be updated soon and others weren't signed in or don't have an account here so I couldn't tell you personally. Anyway, I'll remind all of you this will be updated, but the chapters will be posted very slowly with a long-ish wait in between. I'm really sorry. There's just a lot going on. If you want to know what exactly is keeping the updates so long, you can message me and I'll be happy to tell you about my boring but hectic life. :D